


People Will Talk

by Emily_F6



Series: Her Brothers [3]
Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-28
Updated: 2014-09-28
Packaged: 2018-02-19 02:55:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 47
Words: 191,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2371883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emily_F6/pseuds/Emily_F6
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to 'Her Brothers' and 'Shooting.' Bella returns to school as she tried to recover from the shooting, but continues to find herself the target of rumors along with the rest of the Cullens. *rating for themes of self harm/bullying*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Lonely?" I jumped, and then turned to glare petulantly at my blonde brother. Chuckling, the unrepentant vampire belatedly rapped his knuckles against the doorframe. Rolling my eyes, I turned back to my book, recrossing my ankles in the air as I lay on the bed. Despite living with them for months now, I was still unused to their ability to enter my room so quietly. Not willing to be ignored, Jasper just laughed and entered the room, perching on the bed and reading over my shoulder, ignoring my glare. "Jane Eyre?" He guessed. I sighed and nodded. His smile faltered and he focused back on me, using his strange ability to read emotions to try and figure out what was wrong, obviously picking up on my anxiety quickly. "Don't worry, Bella." A cold hand rested on my back, fingers splayed toward my neck. Hesitating for a moment, he leaned forward and looked at me, his perfect features arranged into a worried frown and I remembered a time when I'd been too intimidated to interact with Alice's brooding movie start mate. "You don't have to go back tomorrow if you don't want to." He reminded me softly.

I'd insisted though…the school was reopening the next day, and since Carlisle had been able to find nothing unusual in my blood work, he had no real reason to keep me from going…no one was particularly happy about it though. Carlisle and Esme, along with Edward, had all offered to stay home with me if I wished to take a little more time off, even though my shoulder was, for the most part, healing fine, and I had no other injuries. Of course, they were more worried about my emotional state, but I wasn't about to let that keep me from school…not that I enjoyed school overly much…I just wanted to get all the uncomfortable stares and rumors out of the way….I wanted things to go back to normal, or as normal as they ever got for me.

"Edward would stay with you…any of us would. No one would mind." Carlisle, Esme, and Edward weren't the only ones anxious to have me back at school, and I had to admit, I was nervous as well. The thought of walking back into the school where…I flinched and shifted my weight off of my arm, the ache in my shoulder reminding me better than words ever could. "You okay?" I sat up, giving up on lying on my stomach, and curled my arm to my chest, trying not to move it. A glass of water that had previously been on the nightstand materialized in front of me, and a little white pill was held out. "You're supposed to take them when it starts to hurt." He chided me gently, and I mumbled an embarrassed 'thank you.'

Although everyone except Emmett had hunted about a week ago, Edward and Jasper had apparently spent more time goofing off and playing than feeding. Besides, they all wanted to hunt again before going back to a school full of humans…apparently it made it easier. Jasper had hunted with Alice a few days ago, but Edward, Emmett, and Rosalie had decided to wait until that night to go…mostly just putting off leaving me here without everyone. Esme and Carlisle were going on Wednesday while the rest of us were at school, not wanting to be unavailable on my first day back. I sighed again, swallowing the pill with most of the water and placing the glass back on the nightstand, feeling immensely annoyed with myself. 'What is my problem. Everything is fine….everyone will be in school with me tomorrow. I only have two classes without them! Gym and calculus…surely I'll be fine. I'm going to have to go back some time.' Despite the mental pep-talk, I was still worried, a fact that frustrated me.

"I'm sorry…I'm bothering you." Jasper said quietly, standing, but I reached out and grabbed his wrist, the action stopping him.

"No…sorry Jasper. It's not you…" I wasn't irritated with Jasper…he had been right. I was lonely without Edward around…otherwise I wouldn't have left my door open.

"Then what is it?"

"I'm being an idiot." I said ruefully, making him frown as he sat on the bed next to me once again. "I shouldn't be worried…it's just school." I mumbled, clutching my hands in my lap. Taking one of mind, he held it between both of his.

"It's completely normal to be worried, Bella. But we'll be with you. I promise. One of us will be nearby all day…all you have to do is call for us or text us, and we'll come get you…we'll bring you home if you want. Okay?" I nodded hesitantly, offering him a grateful smile. "You're brave…going back right away. Most people couldn't." Glowing a little from the soft-spoken praise, I wished him goodnight as he squeezed my hand one last time, then left my room, shutting the door behind him. Turning out the bedside lamp, I crawled into the covers, dropping the book on the floor beside my bed, and closed my eyes, slipping into sleep and praying that there were no more nightmares.

It was the same nightmare every night…or a variation of it. Jackson. The school. A gun. The first night it had been me…the pain from the bullet so real that I could almost feel it in full the next day. Then it had been Emmett…once I had dreamed that little Alice had crumped in front of me, Jasper's accusing eyes watching me with hatred as I sobbed over her. One night it had been Edward…

I'd watched helplessly as Edward stepped between the gun and me...something so easy to imagine, his face furious as he took a threatening step toward the man that threatened me…and then he had fallen, his face agonized as he lay on the tile floor. I'd rushed to his side, but in the strange way of dreams it seemed to take hours as I screamed, forcing my sluggish body forward. Over and over I screamed his name, dropping beside him, shaking him as hard as I could, calling for Emmett or Jasper or Carlisle….anyone to help me. I couldn't lose him….the thought of going home to his family…to telling them that it was my fault they'd lost Edward, made my chest feel tight and painful in an oddly familiar way, and I remembered my mother's hand slapping me and lying on the floor, unable to breathe as she left, and I couldn't scream anymore….

A cold hand on my face, not slapping me, but gently holding my head still, finally woke me, and the calm tried to flood my system, tried to ease my pain, but I couldn't stop screaming and crying as I fought Jasper, desperate to find Edward but unable to make myself call his name. Finally he'd taken me from Jasper and pulled me into his arms, looking desperately into my eyes as he held me as close to him as he could, his eyes pained. "I'm here, Bella. It's okay. No one is going to hurt you." He'd whispered, rocking us back and forth as he kissed my forehead. Unable to explain to him how little I cared about that I had thrown my arms around him and held on for dear life, crying painfully into his neck while Jasper tried vainly to get me back to sleep.

"Is it not reaching her?" Carlisle's worried voice had been just loud enough for me to hear, and Jasper had sighed, giving up.

"She's hysterical…she's too afraid to sleep." He'd said sadly. "I'd rather not force her again…she'll probably just have more nightmares." Carlisle had sat beside me on the bed then, keeping a hand on my back while mumbling a conversation with Edward and Jasper that I didn't care to hear. It wasn't until several hours later that I had relaxed my hold, and then only because it was killing my shoulder, but I didn't move away…I was determined to bear the pain, a small price to pay for the assurance that Edward wasn't dead. His cold hand had covered my shoulder, trying to offer me some relief, but I was tense for the rest of the day, refusing to let my eyes close for too long, not matter how tired I was, and unable to keep any kind of food down. It wasn't until I had seen how truly terrified my behavior was making everyone that I had made a concentrated effort to calm down…but even then I'd needed Jasper's help.

I woke briefly when someone climbed into bed with me, knowing immediately that it was Edward whose arms I was pulled into. One thing about living with the Cullens…I never needed to worry about intruders. I shuddered to think of the untimely end any would-be murderer or thief would meet should they decide to choose the Cullen home as a target…especially with Jasper around. Rolling over, I curled up against him, resting my head on his shoulder and breathing deeply. "Did you have fun?" I mumbled, clutching his shirt in my hand.

He chuckled softly, the almost silent sound the only noise I could hear. "I suppose…I missed you though."

"Missed you too." I mumbled, reaching up to kiss his cheek, and then was asleep again, barely registering his cold lips against my forehead.

The next time I woke was to his hand on my face, the cold contact waking me abruptly. "Sorry." He smiled, pulling away and sitting on the bed. "We have to leave soon…you overslept." I frowned, jumping out of bed and throwing the closet open, rummaging through and grabbing the first pair of jeans and the first shirt I could find.

"Why didn't you wake me earlier?" I wondered, hurrying into the attached bathroom and shutting the door.

"You looked like you needed the rest." He said mildly, raising his voice a little so that I could hear through the door. Sighing, I pulled the jeans on then started to pull the shirt off, freezing when my shoulder pulled sharply. Biting my lip, I let my arm hang down, closing my eyes. "Bella?" His voice was worried and I took a deep breath.

"I'm fine…" I assured him, my voice too weak for my liking, and I took another breath as the pain faded. "I moved it too quickly…it's fine."

"Are you sure you're okay? Can I come in?" I saw the doorknob turn, the fact that he didn't enter proof that he respected my privacy just a little more than his own panic.

"Give me a sec…" Pulling the nightshirt over my head in a quick motion, and then slipping into the new one, I grabbed a brush in my right hand. "Okay." Immediately the door was open and he was beside me, his cool hand gently resting over the aching wound in my shoulder. Taking the brush from my hand, he carefully ran it through my hair.

"Bella…" His sad voice was coaxing and I shook my head immediately.

"No. Edward I'm not waiting. I'm going back today."

"No one expects you to be ready just yet…you're still in pain. It's only been a little over a week…and that's just since the shooting. Not to mention everything with Charlie and…" He cut himself off when I winced, sighing and kissing me on the cheek. No one had brought up Renee since she'd left on Wednesday, catching a last minute flight back to Florida…after I'd cried myself to sleep in Carlisle's arms, something I was still embarrassed about. I wasn't a four year old, for heaven's sake…I shouldn't act like one. But I couldn't deny how nice it felt to wake up in his arms, his patient, gentle eyes never leaving me. "You don't have to do this." He said instead, but his voice was bleak…obviously he knew he wasn't going to win this argument.

Hearing this in his voice, I strengthened my resolve. I wouldn't show him how afraid I was…because why should I be afraid? "I'm just going to school." I told him with a soft laugh that I hoped didn't sound to forced. "We're all going back…" Crushing the urge to ask what could possibly go wrong, because I was sure he had a few answers ready for that one, I pulled the brush from his hand and kissed him, wrapping an arm around his neck. "Come on…we don't want to be late."

Edward and I sat in the front of his car, my hand held tightly in his. The others were all in Emmett's jeep, speeding behind us so closely that I felt a brief twinge of nerves. Forcing that to the back of my mind (their driving was flawless…that was a silly thing to worry about) I turned my attention back to the scenery that flew by until we reached the familiar parking lot. As usual, the day was overcast, and a light drizzle fell from the looming clouds. Edward parked in his usual spot and I climbed out of his car slowly, smiling a little when Emmett pulled into the space beside me, everyone jumping easily from the giant jeep. Throwing his arm around my shoulders, Emmett led me towards the school, laughing easily when Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me back over toward him.

"Now now…Edward what did we say about sharing?" Rosalie and Alice laughed as they stepped up to their mates, each taking their hands and walking at their side as we all walked toward the school, and I remembered my first time seeing the Cullens…and then wondered if I too now looked like a character from an idealized movie scene about popular teenagers. Edward chuckled softly at his brother's words, but only held me closer to his side.

It didn't take me long to realize that people were staring as we made our way up the front stairs of the main school building where we all had class for first period. Edward's face was carefully calm, but I had to wonder if that was Jasper's doing. I had no idea if anyone knew what had actually happened…no one was staring at my vampire family with any more (or less) awe and/or fear than normal, so I hoped not. Still, I was getting a few strange looks…ignoring those, I let Edward lead me through the halls, waving briefly when Emmett and Rosalie broke off to go to their own classes.

My first class was English with Edward and Alice, who kissed Jasper quickly and followed Edward and me into the room. The teacher glanced up at me, his eyes wary as he stood. "Miss Swan? A word?" For a moment, Edward's hand tightened around mine, and Alice paused beside me, touching my back subtly for a second. Nodding, and forcing an easy smile, I slipped away from Edward and Alice who took their usual seats, and followed the older man into the hallway where, much to my surprise, Emmett leaned against the lockers looking like the definition of ease, even though I was sure I'd seen him disappear around a corner with Rosalie a few seconds ago…

"Mr. Cullen?" The teacher seemed surprised as well, but Emmett was only looking at me, his eyes concerned. "Don't you have class right now?" I could tell Emmett was biting back a sarcastic remark, but I gave him a sharp warning look, to which he only grinned and pushed off the lockers.

"Yea. See you, Bella." He nodded to the teacher and headed down the hallway once again at a leisurely pace, but the teacher seemed more resigned than annoyed.

"Miss Swan, Dr. Cullen informed the school of your condition…and of your decision to come back. You know, none of the other students involved in the shooting are coming back just yet. We would be happy to excuse you if you feel…"

"Emmett's back." I told him a bit sharply. "And all the people from my Calculus class…where the window was smashed in. All of Patrick's friends are back." Patrick of course, was not, due to his prolonged stay in the hospital.

"Of course…I meant many of the friends of the students we lost have not returned today…many have gone to counselors or…"

"Did Dr. Cullen say that I should go to a counselor?" I resented this man, who'd never spoken more than necessary to me, trying to pretend to care about me now. I'd met enough resistance from my new family…something I only found tolerable because they so obviously loved me.

"No. He did not." The man's eyes hardened a little, and he gestured toward the classroom door after a moment. "I think you'd better get back to class, Miss Swan. We should get started." Shrugging off the flash of anger, I stepped back into the classroom, my eyes on the floor, and then sat down at my desk between a worried Alice and Edward. Things didn't seem to be off to a great start.

When the rest of the class was seated, our teacher stood at the front and cleared his throat nervously, but before he could say whatever speech he'd thought up, the PA system crackled to life. Resting my chin in my hand, I listened as the principal came on and began speaking about tragedy and the lives lost, glossing over Jackson's motivations and painting the dead jocks as saints who would be much missed. Patrick, another popular target for the football players at our school, was also a brave hero, apparently struggling for his life, even though Carlisle had informed us that our peer would probably be released in a day or so. "Also, the administration would like to commemorate the heroism of Emmett Cullen, who bravely rescued another student during the shooting." As she droned on about Emmett's bravery, I rested my forehead against my clasped hands, praying that no one knew who that 'other student' was, but judging by the whispers and the sidelong glances I was getting, I was pretty sure the whole school knew.

"Oh lovely." I mumbled irritably. Alice gave me a sympathetic little smile, obviously knowing how I hated the spotlight.

"This afternoon during our last period, we will be having a mandatory assembly in the gym. Please go to your fifth period class and after attendance, your teacher will walk you to the assembly."

'Oh great…an assembly on violence.' The thought irritated me. It would most certainly be about gun violence, and have nothing to do with the bullying Jackson had faced…not that anyone in my family had any sympathy for the boy…well, except maybe for Carlisle and Esme. But I'd seen his face that day. And it wasn't like I didn't know what bullying felt like…how it felt to have people whisper nasty things about you behind your back.

Looking up at the teacher who had apparently been talking, I realized that he was standing next to a TV cart. "I thought we'd start the week off with Romeo and Juliet." I was glad. I'd long since memorized the movie, and I wasn't sure I was up for learning anything new. The light was switched off and instantly Edward took my hand, squeezing gently and pulling as though he wanted me closer. I didn't blame him. I wondered if this movie would ever stop reminding me of the time he'd left.

"I love you." The words were whispered so softly by my ear that I was sure that no one but Alice could hear. Smiling softly, I turned and placed my mouth beside his icy ear, my smile turning into a silent laugh when he shuddered.

"You are my life now." I whispered, quoting him with a grin only he could see. Turning his face, he kissed me quickly, then turned back to the screen when the colors from the TV lit up the room, and the prologue came to an end.

"…a pair of star crossed lovers take their lives."

History was our second class, and while Alice and Rosalie took some kind of art elective, and Emmett suffered through a little over an hour of throwing badminton games and leisurely walking around a track, Edward, Jasper and I all sat in the stuffy classroom in the basement while a 25 year old grad student taught us about the Civil War. I had been confused at Jasper's long-suffering look when we'd begun the ridiculously long unit covering the war between the states, but the note written in Jasper's meticulous handwriting detailing everything that had actually happened in the battle covered in the first lecture slipped onto my desk when the teacher's back was turned quickly cleared it up.

Any kind of history classed seemed to be desperately boring for the Cullens, especially Jasper and Edward who'd been more involved in politics and war in their human years, and paid more attention to the outside world since their change. Carlisle bore their complaints with amused exasperation, reminding them of all the 'history' classes he'd had to put up with during his many college experiences. Carlisle was my favorite person to go to for real history lessons…I could spend all day sitting in his office and listening to him talk about his life in Europe…but Jasper's lessons were almost as interesting. It was obvious that they enjoyed having someone new to tell all of their stories to, so I was especially glad to listen.

But Mr. Mark (the guy's attempts to get on our good side only got more pathetic from there) had a particular talent for boring me, and it was only the occasional nudge from either Jasper or Edward that kept me awake. After a quick speech about the bravery of the boys who'd been gunned down (I spent most of it doodling in my notebook and trying not to scream at the idiocy of it all) Mr. Mark continued plowing through the Civil War.

As the lecture began to wind down, I felt my heart rate start to increase, and I was fully aware that I had Calculus next. My foot began to bounce of its own accord and I stopped listening to the lecture, deciding to get Jasper to give me a recap later. At the moment I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that I was going to be without anyone from my family next period, and then being annoyed with myself for caring. 'Nothing is going to happen.' I told myself sternly. 'You are being stupid. There's no reason to panic. They're all here…they'll be in the same building! What am I afraid of?" Not wanting Jasper to pick up on my panic, but knowing he probably was anyway, I forced myself to take deep, even breaths, not letting myself think about the next hour I would be alone.

A cold hand reached out and grasped mine, squeezing tightly, though not enough to hurt. Edward's thumb rubbed circles into the back of my hand and I felt myself relax a little while Mark (why did he even bother with the Mr.? Seriously? What was that accomplishing?) assigned us the reading that I was almost certain no one would do. Finally the bell chimed and I shoved my notebook back in my backpack, throwing it over my shoulder and clutching Edward's hand as we headed out the door behind everyone else. Jasper stood a second after we did, following on our heels as we began to mount the stairs, his hand resting on my back as he moved to walk beside me.

Taking a deep breath, I walked between them, not letting myself pause on the stairs as the chatter from the other students seemed to press against me. "Bella?" Edward's quiet voice was closer than I had expected and I nearly tripped over a step when I turned to answer him.

"Hm?" I managed, catching myself and pausing in the hallway at the base of the stairs that would lead to the calculus classroom…the stairs I'd barely managed to stop myself from falling down when the bullet had slammed into me, taking my breath away when the pain had forced everything else from my mind…the stairs Emmett had carried me down as I'd blacked out in his arms.

"Bella? Are you okay?" His cold hand on my face jolted me back to awareness and I forced a small smile.

"Yea…sorry. I just zoned out…" Glancing over at Jasper who waited a few feet away, I hoped he hadn't paid too close attention to my emotions.

"Are you sure?" His quiet voice was intense. "Because no one will think any less of you if you don't want to do this. You can spend a few more days at home…I'll stay with you. The others can bring us homework…Carlisle and Esme can teach you if you want…I'll teach you if you want…" I forced myself not to think about that wonderful picture…I couldn't just hide away for the rest of the year. I wasn't a coward.

Leaning closer, I kissed him briefly, then pulled away, ruthlessly shoving the fear and pain out of my mind. "I'm going to be late." I told him simply, then turned and made my way up the stairs, not letting myself hesitate for even a millisecond as I passed the spot where I'd fallen…where Emmett had cradled me in his lap as I'd bled on the concrete floor.

The calculus classroom door had been replaced, the only tell the new little window whose size didn't quite match the other doors'. Most of the students were already seated at their desks, but our teacher hadn't arrived yet. Jessica, who didn't have the number to the Cullen's rarely used house phone or my cell phone number, seemed anxious to speak to me, and grabbed my arm as soon as I sat down beside her, leaning in.

"Bella! Oh my god, is it true that Emmett Cullen dragged you out of the building after Jackson shot you?" I sighed and rolled my eyes at Jessica, trying to show my reluctance without seeming too rude.

"Where did you hear that?" I tried for casual, but my voice was strained.

"It's all anyone is talking about, duh! Is it true?!" I hesitated for a movement, and she must have taken my deliberation as a yes, because she went on with an eager look of morbid fascination on her face. "Aaron Matthews said that Emmett ran out of his class to save you!" Her eyes seemed to glaze over and I realized with some amusement that Jessica was mooning over her new hero. "You're so lucky." She nearly moaned. I flinched, but made my tone light.

"Jessica…you're kidding right? Emmett Cullen?"

"Oh come on! He's hot! I mean…yea, some people would say that Edward was better looking, but Emmett…I'll bet he's built like…."

"Jessica!" I hissed, my cheeks flooding with blood, the knowledge that Emmett was close enough that he could probably hear us if he wanted making my humiliation worse...he would never let this go. "Stop! Please!"

"What? You don't like him, do you?" She asked suspiciously.

"He's like my brother!" I cried as softly as I could, glancing up to make sure our teacher wasn't listening. "And I'm with Edward. Not to mention, Emmett is dating Rosalie."

"Ugh…creepy. She's his sister, for god's sake."

"Foster sister." I corrected with some irritation.

"Whatever! Still creepy. Like Jasper Hale and Alice…ugh. Weirdos!" Biting down hard on my lip, I fought the urge to snap at her. "Well, weirdos or not, I wouldn't mind being rescued by Jasper either…" She paused for a moment, giving me a strange look. "Isn't living with them awkward though?"

"What?" Honestly surprised by her sudden change in subjects, my irritation was momentarily forgotten.

"You know…they're so…handsome! I could never even speak to Edward, much less his brothers! Does their dad practice plastic surgery on them!?"

"Of course not!" I shook my head in exasperation, amused despite my irritation with her. "Jessica, they're a pretty normal family." Well…normal was relative. But they all cared about each other, and I didn't want her spreading rumors about them.

"How do you even talk to them? Isn't it hard being around them? Like…what do you even talk to his brothers about?" She leaned in closer, her eyes full of anticipation like I was about to tell her about some amazing secret life they all led...well to be fair, they kind of did lead a secret life. But what could I tell her about that? What did we talk about?

Memories of Emmett or Jasper holding me, comforting me, flashed into my mind. I could see Emmett laughing while he tried to make breakfast or Jasper's grin as he went through a Calculus chapter with me…I saw Alice throwing new clothes at me and Rosalie leading me though the mall as we snuck out of the store while Alice continued searching for the perfect outfit for me…grinning I shook my head. "I don't know Jessica. We talk about all kinds of stuff...what do you talk to your family about?"

Before she could come up with an answer, or react to my calling them my family, a tall man I instantly recognized as the principal stepped into the room and a hush fell over the class. "Everyone, your regular teacher will be absent for another week or so…and so we've had to call in a last minute substitute." He seemed a bit irritated, and I wonder when he'd been informed of this. Not particularly interested in this new development, I flipped my book to the new chapter, pulling my notebook from my backpack and turning it to the page where Emmett and I had left off going over the new unit. Hopefully this new teacher would actually cover a lesson so I wouldn't have to dodge Jessica's questions all period.

"Oh god." I glanced over at Jessica. "How many Cullens can this school hold?" She mumbled sarcastically. Confusion turned to surprise, as I looked up into the light honey brown eyes of a very familiar face.


	2. Chapter 2

You've got to be kidding me.' The thought was more astonished than annoyed…oh I was a little annoyed at first, the natural reaction to having your adopted parent come to your school and pass as a teacher, apparently just to make sure that you are okay…but then came the overwhelming rush of gratitude. They were looking out for me…going out of their way to assure me that I was safe. I would not be in any more danger here…that was for sure.

"Mrs. Cullen will be your substitute for the remainder of the week. Also, she has been informed that she should come to me if she has any problems." Esme smiled at him, her soft, sweet smile dazzling him for a moment before he managed to clear his throat shakily and stumble out of the room. A few stifled laughs were the only sound in the room as most students stared at her with open shock, and I wondered how many of them had seen Carlisle or Esme before.

"Good morning everyone." Esme greeted the class in her musical voice, standing with her hands clasped in front of her as she swept her gaze over the room, barely pausing when her eyes skimmed over me. "I'm Mrs. Cullen…"

"Wait…" The incredulous voice came from a boy sitting beside me and I flinched. For just a second her eyes hardened, and then her gaze rested on the tall boy sitting a row over from my desk, her eyebrow lifting as she seemed to dare him to continue. Something about her annoyed expression screamed 'dangerous' even to me, who'd lived with her for months. However, Simon didn't seem to notice. "Aren't you the Cullens kids' mom?" He asked loudly. Crossing her arms, she stepped closer to the rows of students.

"I beg your pardon?" I wanted to grab his arm and tell him to shut up, but I wasn't particularly fond of Simon, and this was sure to be fun to watch. Esme could certainly handle herself.

"Are you even qualified to teach Calculus?"

Esme gave him an incredulous look for a moment, and then visibly relaxed, her eyes cooling, her smile unfriendly. "Well, Mr…..?"

"Simon." There was silence as she waited. "Simon Radcliffe."

"Well, Mr. Radcliffe, I hold a Doctorate of Education, with a specialty in Educational Psychology, from Vanderbilt's Peabody College of Education and Human Development, along with a Masters in Mathematics from Princeton University." I have no idea why I was surprised. It seemed like all my family did was go to college, and I wondered if I would be as interested in furthering my education. Come to think of it, I would have unlimited time and money at my disposal…I could get quite a few science degrees in that time. The idea was intriguing, and I wondered if I could study medicine like Edward and Carlisle…the field, along with Biology and Anatomy, had always been interesting to me, and I made a mental note to talk to Edward about it. "So do I have your blessing, Mr. Radcliffe, to teach high school Calculus?" Her cold voice brought me back to the present, and I covered a smile with my hand.

Simon reddened, having sunk lower and lower in his chair with each word, and swallowed. "Yes ma'am." He mumbled.

"Thank you, Mr. Radcliffe. I appreciate that. Now, who can tell me on which unit you left off?"

The Calculus lesson continued without any kind of disturbance or further interruption. Esme was careful to call on several different people for answers, easily explaining any concepts my peers had trouble with...doing a much better job than our usual teacher. I kept quiet for most of the lesson, only answering once when called on, and kept my head down, ignoring her occasional quick concerned glances. As the lesson drew to an end, she closed her book and turned to the class. "Please complete problem sets 1 through 15 on page 394 by tomorrow. I'll collect them at the start of class, and we'll start the next unit afterwards." As soon as she finished speaking, the bell chimed and she smiled. "Enjoy your lunch." Waiting for the majority of the students to stand, stuffing their notebooks and textbooks back in their bags, she stood behind her desk. "Bella? Can I speak with you for a moment?"

Surprised, I nodded, ignoring the looks from my peers that varied from curious to annoyed to smug. "I'll see you later, Bella." Jessica stated in a tone that told me she would demand details later. Sighing in exasperation, I waited for everyone else to leave the room and for Esme to shut the door before walking up to her, my head naturally going to her shoulder when her arms went around me.

"How are you feeling, sweetheart?" She asked softly, her voice full of concern.

"I'm okay…when did you decide to stand in for our teacher?" I asked, still surprised over her status as my new teacher. She smiled and crossed her arms.

"Alice told me that your regular teacher would be…unable to return to work, and since I'm more than qualified, I spoke to your principal. There aren't that many substitutes willing to come all the way out to Forks, so he was grateful for the offer. Alice said I'll probably remain here for at least the rest of the month." She hesitated, her hand resting on my arm. "If that's okay with you." She qualified softly. "If it makes you uncomfortable…"

"No!" I shook my head. "Not at all…of course not. But…you don't have to do this." Esme smiled at me kindly, kissing me quickly on the forehead.

"Bella, I don't mind at all. I haven't got to teach in a while. It's something I enjoy. It's a bonus that I get to spend more time with my family." She glanced up at the clock for a second, then smiled at me. "Well, you'd better get to class. Edward is waiting outside the door for you." With that, she turned to the door with a smile, and Edward stepped through, instantly moving to my side and clasping my hand in his.

Edward kept my hand in his, leading me through the crowded hallway as we made our way to the cafeteria. He chatted softly with me for most of the way, occasionally questions or answering mine, but then we stepped into the cafeteria and he tensed, breaking off midway through his sentence.

"Edward?" I squeezed his hand gently, knowing he could probably barely feel it, but he gritted his teeth and tried to smile at me.

"Hmm?"

"What's going on?"

"Nothing." He tried to assure me, but I glanced around the strangely quiet room nervously.

"Edward?"

"Don't worry about it Bella." He soothed me, forcing his lips into a smile. "Come on. Let's get in line." Hesitantly I followed, watching absentmindedly as he piled food onto the tray, then paid at the end of the line. Letting him buy me lunch was something I'd long since stopped arguing about. Carrying the tray in one hand, he gripped mine and led me over to the table, making me frown at him in confusion. I didn't mind, of course, but he wasn't usually so single-minded in getting me around the cafeteria. Pulling a little on his hand, I caught his attention.

"Edward, please. What's wrong?" I almost begged, not able to understand the almost painfully angry look on his face. But before he could answer, I stumbled against something, his hand wrapped around mine the only thing keeping me from falling on my face, and there was a chorus of laughter from the table we were passing. But I couldn't focus on that, because suddenly Edward's face was so murderous that I honestly feared for the lives of all present…myself not included of course. "Edward, don't…." I mumbled, gripping his hand as hard as I could.

Across the cafeteria, I glanced at my family. They were all perfectly still, their eyes intent on the laughing students. And then I was angry. Because we all had enough crap to deal with...I didn't need these idiots causing me more trouble. Dropping his hand, I moved between Edward and the tallest guy at the table, not wanting them to see his face when he was so angry. "What the h*ll is your problem?" I snapped, crossing my arms and meeting his eyes. He snorted and leaned back in his chair, and for a brief second I prayed it would fall. Turning to the others, he just grinned. Rolling my eyes, I made my voice dry, not daring to let any of the pain show…I would just have to feel that later, when Jasper wasn't around. "Hello." I made my voice condescending. "Moron #1, are you deaf? Stupid? " His eyes narrowed as he turned to glare at me, one eyebrow lifting.

"God, can't you take a hint, you incestuous little c*nt?" There were a chorus of murmurs around the room, and I felt a painful sensation in my chest when I saw Jessica snicker. I'd thought she was still my friend…maybe not a good one, but still... Angela was giving the boys at the table a steely glare, and Ben held her hand tightly in his. But no one moved. I didn't even want to think about what Edward's face looked like.

But I had to get Edward away from this idiot, and looking at him would be the only way to do it. Tugging his hand, I turned to the statue behind me. "Come on Edward. He probably doesn't even know what that means." I turned to walk toward our table, trying to pull him along with me. I couldn't let him expose himself here…from the looks on Emmett and Jasper's faces, they were with Edward. Alice and Rosalie held them down, their small hands wrapping around the arms of their mates, but neither seemed averse to a quick killing spree. But then a warm hand was crushing my wrist.

"It means you're screwing your boyfriend's brothers you little slut!" He snapped. There was dead silence in the cafeteria, but before I could register how much he was hurting me, my hand was free, his hand in a grip I knew was iron solid and cold as ice. The boy stared up at Edward and tried to scoff, but couldn't' quite manage it.

"That's not what incestuous means, moron." I said dryly. I had to sit down…now. Or I was going to break apart. Jasper must have felt that because he was focusing on me, calm and safely fluttering around the edges of my pain. 'I'm okay…just need to get Edward away from him.' I wished we could go a bit further than our cafeteria table. "He's not worth the effort, Edward." I spoke carelessly, and a little smile turned the corners of Edward's mouth, the insult made more cutting knowing what I knew about how little effort it would take Edward to crush him. He released the boy's hand…belatedly I remembered his name was Levi, and started to head for the lunch table. I sat down between Emmett and Alice, and Edward sat across from me, nearly throwing the tray on the table in disgust and clenching his hands into tight fists. Reaching over numbly, I lay my hands on his. "Are you okay?"

He scoffed, cutting his eyes at the room full of smirking students. "No." He nearly snarled at me, but I wasn't bothered too much. Resigning myself to the fact that he would be angry for a while, I withdrew one of my hands, picking up a carton of chocolate milk he'd grabbed and twisting off the cap, taking a long drink. Honestly the thought of eating any kind of food made me ill, but everyone's eyes were moving back and forth between Edward and me, and I couldn't bear to worry them anymore. Grabbing an apple, I forced myself to take a bite, refusing to give in when my stomach protested painfully.

'I am not sick.' I told myself firmly. 'Not now.' Taking another bite against the wishes of my gag reflex, I twisted the apple in my hands, ignoring the searching looks coming from Alice. Jasper muttered something I couldn't catch, and I just barely heard Emmett tell him no. Edward's hand flexed under mine, and I didn't even see Jasper grab his arm.

"You can't." He told him forcefully. "Not now." The 'not now' part worried me, and I prayed he wouldn't kill anyone over me. "You okay?" Jasper turned to me, his bright eyes worried, and I forced a nod, swallowing back the pain and embarrassment. The emotions that suddenly swirled around me told me in indisputable terms that I was safe. "You better eat something. You heard what Carlisle said." He gave me a half smile and pulled the almost full tray over, and I tried to choke down a turkey sandwich.

Our biology teacher glanced up, his eyes lingering on me for a moment before nodding silently in greeting. Grateful that he wasn't going to try to talk to me or discuss the dramatic events from a week ago, I slid into my seat, glancing over at Edward whose jaw hadn't unclenched since lunch. The turkey sandwich sat uncomfortably in my stomach like a rock, and I leaned over, resting my head on my arms while our teacher began the lecture on cell division, a topic I understood well enough that I barely felt the need to take notes. Beside me, Edward absentmindedly scratched his pen across his paper, filling the page with his perfect handwriting. Deciding that I would just borrow his notes later, I was suddenly very focused on not throwing up.

I'd always had a weak stomach, and stress made it a hundred times worse. Closing my eyes, I focused on my breathing, making it as even as possible while my stomach seemed to twist in knots. The teacher began circling the room, handing out worksheets , when he paused at our table. "Bella?" To my surprise, his voice was genuinely concerned, and Edward's head whipped around as though he were waking from a trance. "Do you need to be excused?" He asked softly, the other voices in the room a dull humming in the background.

"Please." I mumbled. He nodded, stepping out of my way as I left the room, not glancing up at anyone, or looking back at Edward, as I shut the door softly behind me. Once I was in the empty hallway, I bolted to the bathroom, throwing the stall door open and, falling to my knees, emptied my stomach painfully into the bowl. Groaning, I rested my head against the cold porcelain, not even noticing the presence behind me until a cold hand pulled my hair back and rested on my neck. The toilet flushed loudly in the small room, and I was carefully pulled back against a stone body.

"Are you okay?" To my surprise, it was Rosalie who held me as we sat on the floor, and I managed a nod. Although our relationship was much better (and less awkward) than before, we still weren't quite as close as the other members of my new family. But she didn't seem awkward or upset now…instead she seemed concerned.

"'M okay." I managed to mumble, still taking deep breaths, nearly panting with the effort it took to stay upright against her. This kind of sickness always made me dizzy and I closed my eyes rather than watch the room spin.

"Do you want me to call Carlisle?" She asked quietly, one of her hands moving down to rub my back.

"No….I'll be okay. Just a second."

"Alight." I was a little surprised…I was used to the over protectiveness of my brothers. It was nice to have someone believe me when I lied about being okay. After a few moments though, I did feel better. She seemed to sense this and stood fluidly, helping me as she moved. "Do you want to go to the nurse?"

"No…thanks Rosalie." I managed a smile, which she returned hesitantly.

"Is it because of what happened at lunch?" She wondered, her eyes growing cold.

"I'm not sure…I think I'm just stressed." Her lips turned down briefly into a worried frown, but she nodded, accepting my answer.

"We'll do our best, you know." She spoke in a nearly silent voice. "We'll try to protect you from whatever we can. But you have to tell us if someone hurts you…we can't be everywhere at once, even if we'll try."

"I understand." I assured her hurriedly. "I don't expect you to…" She cut me off with an impatient huff.

"Don't be ridiculous. Of course we're going to do our best to protect you. We don't mind, and we know you don't expect it, even if you should by now. But Bella, you don't have to pretend that it doesn't bother you…what they're saying. It should bother you…they're being cruel just for fun."

"What can you do?" I asked just as softly, crossing my arms. "You can't exactly stop them from talking about me."

"No…but we can be quite persuasive when we want to." She grinned at me, her expression expectant, and I snorted.

"I'm sure you can."

Edward looked up anxiously when I slipped back into the room, abandoning all pretense of paying attention to the worksheet everyone was working on and gripping my hand. His eyes were remorseful as he scooted his chair closer to me, holding me against him. "Are you okay? Rosalie said you were sick." I was confused for a second before realizing that he'd read her thoughts. "Do you want me to take you home?" I shook my head, offering him what I hoped was a reassuring smile.

"I'm okay. I just wasn't feeling well." His eyes were tortured as he squeezed my hand.

"I'm so sorry…I wasn't paying attention…"

I shook my head. "Edward, I'm fine. It's okay. You don't have to watch me every second." But I knew he wouldn't buy that. "Please don't worry…" I didn't want him to constantly be tormented by the thoughts of the idiots we went to school with…I didn't want him worrying about me every time someone was mean to me. I would shove the pain down…bury it as deep as possible. It was unfair to Edward…to all of my family, for me to keep worrying them like this. So I wouldn't. Turning back to the worksheet with a forced air of calm, I peeked back up at him.

"So what did I miss?"

I stepped into the gym, grateful that we wouldn't be doing any actual physical activity, but not looking forward to this assembly. Around the room, a few people lounged by the bleachers, ear buds firmly inserted in their ears or eyes skimming over the page of their books, or chatting in small groups on the basketball court. I started to make my way over to the bleachers, glad that I'd packed Jane Eyre away in my bag, when Mike Newton appeared in front of me, a nasty look on his face. Still angry over his reaction in the cafeteria, I gave him a cold glare and crossed my arms.

"God, Bella. Isn't it enough that you're screwing them? Do you have to have them in all of your classes too?"

For a moment I wondered where all of this hostility was coming from…of course Mike and I hadn't been on the best of terms since Edward and his family had returned, but this was a bit extreme… "Who, exactly, am I 'screwing' Mike?" I spit out the word distastefully, my jaw clenched.

"The Cullens!" He snapped, rolling his eyes. "Everybody knows it."

"Really?" I lifted an eyebrow. "You know that there are five of them. You honestly think I'm…" I paused, then sighed, breaking off. It wouldn't do any good to chew him out here. Especially not with the entire class watching. I'd had enough of the spotlight for the day. Then I frowned. What had he been saying? "All of my classes?" I asked, honestly curious now.

"Yea." He stated obviously. "Isn't it a bit transparent? Switching in the middle of the semester?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I started to look around, confused, when I froze, my eyes caught in the butterscotch gaze of my older brother. "Jasper?" I mumbled in surprise.

"As if you didn't know." Mike rolled his eyes, and for a second Jasper's gaze was murderous and he stared at my unsuspecting classmate. Ignoring Mike's smirk, I headed for the bleachers, then paused, glancing back at the others. Most were staring at Jasper with a mix of awe and unease…the same look most of the Cullens got from our classmates. Immediately I knew that if I went to sit with him, it would only feed the rumors that…well I didn't really want to think about those rumors…to think that my brothers were capable of hurting me in that way…or that Carlisle…For a second I felt sick again, then I pushed it back, swallowing hard. I wasn't about to let these judgmental idiots keep me away from my brother.

I stepped on the bleacher steps, making my way toward him. He was no longer looking at me, and seemed the picture of ease, his legs stretched out as he lounged lazily like a large cat, his long body seemingly at ease, but I knew better. It didn't take the Cullens half a second to go from 'at ease' to in motion. He held a book in one hand, and seemed completely immersed in the words even as I sat down beside him. Smirking, I leaned over and reached out to snatch the book, but it was suddenly out of my reach, and he snorted, giving me an unimpressed look.

"How did you manage this?" I wondered aloud, crossing my arms and sitting back against the bleachers. He grinned, dropping the book in his backpack that was mostly a prop and turned to me before I could even read the cover.

"It was fortunate that Carlisle happened to make a significant financial contribution to the school's library right when I needed to change my class schedule." He informed me with a lazy smirk.

"Wait…Carlisle bought the school a new set of encyclopedias so that you could get into my gym class?" He shook his head.

"No, Carlisle bought the school a new set of encyclopedias and fifteen new computers because he cares about the education of today's youth." I rolled my eyes, not about to complain. My only ally in this class had jumped on the bandwagon to torment me until I graduated, so it would be nice to have a friend around. Plus, I doubted many people would try messing with me while he was here to look out for me. "I can switch back out…if it bothers you." He must have read my irritation and I frowned.

"No! I'm glad you're here…I'm irritated with them." He gave me a sad smile, resting his hand on my arm for a minute.

"I'm sorry about this." He told me quietly. "About them…I know you were friends with Mike." I shook my head, not about to let myself wallow in that.

"Mike's being a jerk." I told him simply. "If he wants to spread rumors about me with Lauren, then he's not much of a friend." Jasper's eyes narrowed a little, but he shrugged and, thankfully, didn't try to get me to talk about it. Instead he glanced up a second before our gym teacher stepped into the room.

"Alright everyone, line up at the door!" He called, his voice echoing through the gym. "Hale! Swan! You too!" Jasper stood, slinging his bag onto his back, and waited for me to head over to the steps, following closely behind. I made my way carefully down, grateful for the hand on my elbow that kept me from falling, which immediately dropped when I stepped onto the gym floor and moved to stand at the end of the line, trying not to pay attention to the eyes on me. Belatedly I realized that everyone seemed to move away from us as we approached, their eyes watching Jasper warily.

'They're afraid of Jasper.' Even though I already suspected it, it seemed strange to me. Of course, they didn't know him...no one really knew any of the Cullens. From the outside, they were all intimidating and frightening, but no one had seem them in their house, playing video games or working on their cars. They hadn't seen Emmett trying to make me lunch or Jasper laughing at my attempts to play chess...it still seemed so odd that they would be so fearful of my brother, even as he placed a hand on my back and encouraged me to move forward with the line. Snapping my attention back to the present I followed the students in front of me as we made our way down the hall to the assembly.


	3. Chapter 3

In my humble opinion, the auditorium was a bit larger than was strictly necessary. I had to wonder what they thought they would need to use the biggest part of an entire building for a room that could probably hold most of the population of Forks. The room was long and dark, with rows and rows of chairs that led up to a stage, complete with large red curtain. I'd never seen a school production, but judging by the off grey tint to the curtain, I had to assume that they hadn't used that in a while. Most of the student population had already arrived, and were seated in the front of the building, which was probably more indicative of teacher demands than personal choice. I managed to spot Emmett fairly quickly. He was seated toward the middle, his skin eerie under a floodlight. Rosalie sat a few rows behind him near Edward, who glanced back as I entered the room and smiled, and little Alice sat near the front. Of all the Cullens, people seemed the least intimidated by Alice, and she was seated beside Angela Webber who seemed comfortable enough chatting casually with her.

Jasper's hand on my back reminded me that we needed to sit down, and I followed the others from our class, sitting four rows behind Edward, sandwiched between one of the quieter girls in gym and Jasper who sat leaning toward me, obviously using his gift to monitor me. I let myself feel a little exasperation and he grinned, sitting back and keeping his eyes front. The principal stood on the stage, leaning on the podium, and several teachers stood around the room. Ahead of us, I watched Emmett lob a paper ball at Alice, and in the next second Esme was at his side, whacking him on the head with her folder, and Jasper chuckled softly beside me. Emmett made a show of rubbing his head and sticking his tongue out at her back, but in the next second he was lobbing a paper ball back at me, smacking me in the face with it. "You could have caught that." I grumbled at Jasper, unfolding one of Emmett's biology exams with a large A on the top. Jasper shrugged with a grin.

"It'll be more fun to get him back for you later." He promised, ruffling my hair while I grimaced at him.

"Isn't it sick? I mean it's her boyfriend's brother." Jasper stiffened beside, his eyes cutting to the side as his hand stilled on the back on my head, then dropped to my shoulder. A few rows over Lauren Malloy was whispering to a group of people, her voice carrying over to where we sat. "And I thought he was with Alice Cullen anyway, which is gross enough." Up ahead of us, I watched Alice stiffen for a moment, then relax, turning back to Angela as though she could not hear.

"You don't think the three of them…"

"Ew!" Their soft squeals of laughter seemed to pierce my chest and I closed my eyes, knowing half the school, plus my family, could all hear them. "But you know Edward's in on it too. And I'll bet their freak dad…" I leaned forward in my seat, the roaring in my ears drowning out whatever they were saying…not that I didn't already know. Jasper's hand rested on my back while I kept my face in my hands, trying not to let the tears fall. For a second I thought about running out the door…I'm sure Jasper would let me by. I could go back home…study with my family, finish high school…and forget that Lauren Malloy existed. The thought was so appealing that I almost asked Jasper to take me home. It was on the tip of my tongue. But then I remembered my resolve…I wouldn't cause their family any more problems. It would probably be problematic if we all dropped out of school. It would cause rumors, rumors that might lead people to look into my family…and I couldn't be the cause of that. Instead I focused on my breathing, taking deep breaths and releasing them as rhythmically as I could.

"There you go. Breath, darlin." Jasper mumbled, rubbing my back. "You're okay." I knew that he was probably saying that for the rest of the family's benefit, but it was good to hear nonetheless. "You want to leave? Want us to take you home?" I shook my head, taking a deep shuddering breath and sitting up, refusing to meet his eyes while I tried to discreetly wipe my face.

"No." I tried for an even tone. "I'm fine. Sorry." He shook his head sadly, taking my hand.

"You don't have to apologize, Bella." He mumbled, pulling me to sit against him and dropping my hand to drape his arm around me, completely ignoring the stares we were getting from the rest of the kids in our row, something I was grateful for. At first I had been afraid that he would try to keep his distance after Mike's comment in gym class, but it seemed like as long as I needed my family, they'd be here. Esme had moved to stand by Lauren and her friends who apparently had some shame because they had stopped talking about her husband and children when she approached, and Emmett and Rosalie were both throwing the girls dangerous glares. I closed my eyes, leaning my head on Jasper's shoulder, and let him keep me calm. "No, it's okay." He mumbled, shaking his head when I glanced up at him. "Emmett." He explained simply.

Edward was openly watching me, his body twisted in his seat to stare at me worriedly and I gave him a half smile, which he returned with a tender one of his own. "Thank you all for coming." For a second he seemed irritated, then turned back around, crossing his arms and sitting stiffly when principal Greene began to talk. "Of course you all know about the tragedy…" I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms and tuning him out. I didn't know if I could stomach a full hour of this. Glancing over at the row in front of us, I caught Lauren's eye for a minute. After a second she smirked, nudging one of her friends and whispering next to her ear.

Of course I'd known that she liked Tyler since I arrived at Forks High School, and that the fact that he'd wanted to go to prom with me had not endeared me to her. But I'd thought that dating Edward so openly would make her see that the interest that Tyler showed me was completely one sided. On the contrary, it seemed to make her hate me more, and the cruel rumors that she'd helped spread about the Cullens had been extended to me. Before the shooting, it had been easy enough to ignore her…but she seemed to have recruited some more people to gossip about me. Of course, I was pretty used to gossip…no one at my last school had really been anxious to be my friend, and naturally some people bullied the outsiders. But this was the worst I'd ever faced…when I'd heard them bring Carlisle into it, I'd nearly gotten sick on the spot.

We'd been in the gym locker room one day, changing into our work out clothes, when she'd move to stand across from me with a group of friends. "So Bella, you're living with the Cullens now?" She'd made her voice strictly curious, but I'd known better.

"Yea, Lauren." I told her, pulling my shirt over the sports bra and crossing my arms, facing her.

"That must be nice." One of her friends giggled and I fought the urge to roll my eyes at the stereotype standing in front of me. "His brothers are pretty handsome…for freaks, you know? But you'd know that better than anyone."

I'd recoiled immediately, glaring at her coolly. "That's disgusting, Lauren."

"Oh I know. But you like it, don't you? You're just as big of a freak as they are." Biting my lip, I'd turned back to my locker, concentrating on the combination as I stored my jeans and t-shirt. "I'll bet Edward's daddy gets in on it too. Do he play doctor with you?" I'd felt my stomach rebel and rushed out of the room, pushing my way into the adjoining bathroom, and loosing my lunch, trying to ignore the stinging in my eyes and the giggles from the other girls.

All through gym, I had been sick with the thought that Edward or one of his brothers….or heaven forbid, Carlisle, would hear about that, and nearly rebroke my leg trying to jump out of the way of a volleyball that may or may not have been aimed at my head. When I'd gone out to meet Edward after class, he'd immediately been worried, all but begging me to tell him what had happened. I'd refused though, keeping quiet all the way home and praying that he hadn't thought to peek at Lauren's thoughts. It seemed like I was safe though, and insisted over and over that I was fine, eventually excusing myself to my study to do homework, too upset to eat anything. The next day, though, the rumors were being whispered throughout the school, and all my evasions were for nothing. I never said anything to Carlisle though, and I hoped that he'd never find out.

"And of course, we want to recognize the bravery of Emmett Cullen. Had it not been for his remarkable act of courage…" I rolled my eyes, feeling Jasper's silent chuckle shake his frame.

"He's never gonna let that go." Jasper murmured, grinning. "A hundred years from now and Emmett will still be talking about his 'remarkable act of courage.'" I snorted, covering my mouth with my hand. I was grateful to Emmett though…he had been remarkable.

"If it hadn't been for him, I'd be dead." I reminded him quietly, my mood suddenly shifting as I sighed, remembering the way he'd held me, trying so hard to be careful while I bled out on the stairs.

"Bella?" He squeezed me gently and I forced a smile, but I should have known better…he couldn't be fooled.

"I'm fine." I pushed the thoughts out of my mind, ignoring his concerned look, and tried to listen to the principal talk about gun violence, wondering if we were going to get a lecture on bullying or if that would be just a bit too hypocritical.

"So today, we have a special guest here to tell us about violence from the sheriff's department." I stiffened, my hands clenching into fists in my lap.

"No…no no no please tell me you're kidding…." I mumbled, shrinking back against Jasper who sighed, staring at the stage grimly as he rubbed my arm.

"Chief Swan and his Deputy are here to…" And that was all it took, because watching Charlie step up on that stage reminded me all too vividly of the last time I'd seen him….standing in the bedroom, watching me in horror as Emmett told him my deepest, darkest secret. He stood at the podium, clearing his throat nervously as he introduced himself, even though most of Forks knew him well enough to be on a first name basis. And as he scanned the crowd, I knew the lights were probably to bright for him to see us all, and that he probably wasn't looking for me, but I couldn't sit here and chance him seeing me…I couldn't bear to see him ashamed or me, or worse, pity me. Slipping away from Jasper, I slid out of my seat and hurried toward the back, opening the door a crack and stepping through, them sprinted toward the back door, only slowing when someone called my name. In the next second, someone had caught my arm, and I spun to face Alice.

"I'm so sorry Bella!" She spoke almost too quickly for me to understand, her hands taking mine and squeezing them nearly too tightly. "I had no idea they would call Charile and I wasn't watching Principal Greene's decisions and…"

"It's fine, Alice." I forced myself to speak in an even tone, squeezing her hands a little then pulling my own away just in case she squeezed any tighter. She let me go instantly, clutching hers in front of her.

"No…I should have thought of this…."

"Why? Who would have expected him to call the sheriff's department for a speaker….it's fine Alice." I swallowed hard and forced a weak smile.

"Bella…" She deliberated for a second, then threw her arms around me, resting her head on my shoulder. I closed my eyes, pressing my cheek into her head, and another hand was laid on my back.

"Do you want to go home, Bella?" Esme asked quietly, and I glanced up at the closed doors to the auditorium, taking a deep breath and shaking my head.

"No…I'm fine." I lied through my teeth. Because if I was going to convince my family not to worry about me, I'd have to get used to lying.

I sat in the back this time, my hand firmly in Alice's as I watched my father stammer out his speech up front. Esme stood nearby, but I refused to give her any reason to come over or force me to go home, as I'd feared she might. Because then I'd have to talk about it and I didn't think I could do that. Instead, I tried to figure out my own strange, tangled emotions logically…and failed.

I knew one thing: I missed my father. I loved Carlisle and Esme, and in my mind, they were my parents. There were going to be my parents for the rest of my existence, and I was so lucky to have them. I would never want to replace them with anyone else, and I couldn't see myself living anywhere else than with the Cullens anymore. The thought of moving back in with Charlie…of always being alone, not physically but emotionally, of feeling responsible for all of the chores and cooking for Charlie….of feeling like Charlie cared more about his sports channels than me…caused a strange mix of fear and pain in my heart, so I didn't even consider it. I thought of my brothers watching movies with me and dragging me into their video games, of Rosalie teaching me how to fix a car and Alice playing Bella Barbie…of Edward being with me almost every moment, holding me, touching me…ready to comfort me whenever I needed him, and I knew that the Cullens were my home.

But I didn't want to leave things the way I had with Charlie. He'd been so worried when I'd been shot, then he'd found out about Renee's boyfriends and was all but kicked out of the house, and I hadn't seen him since. I had to wonder if he'd accepted this little invitation in hopes of seeing me. 'Or maybe he doesn't want to see me. Maybe he blames me for everything.' I tried to push that thought away, not wanting the pain that would surely accompany it, but it was useless. It was almost impossible not to blame myself for what happened, even after all my family did to convince me otherwise…that only made it worse. I felt like I was letting them down for blaming myself. And then the shooting happened, and everything came to the surface…the panic attacks I'd thought were a thing of the past, the horrific nightmares I couldn't' escape…and my family was being so understanding. I couldn't bear to let them know that I wasn't okay.

So could I handle talking to Charlie? More than once, I'd thought Carlisle would suggest speaking to Charlie, but he hadn't brought it up once. After Renee, Carlisle had refused to give his opinion on the matter, instead promising when I'd asked that he would support me no matter what I chose, a promise that stood for the whole family. I had a feeling that he just didn't want to force me into anything like he seemed to think he had forced me to speak to Charlie. But I didn't know what to do. Sitting in the overly spacious auditorium and listening to my biological father lecture us nervously on gun safety and the importance of taking firearms seriously, I just wanted to go back to when our relationship was okay…it had never been great of course, not after my mom moved me across the country. But it had been okay. I'd never doubted that he loved me. But after his reaction to my fight with Jacob, I'd been so hurt that I hadn't wanted to speak to him again. Now, though, I wanted to talk to him about what he'd learned about me. I wanted to explain myself…defend myself even. I wanted to make sure he wasn't ashamed of me.

Alice was suddenly pulling me to my feet, and I realized that Charlie had stopped speaking and the principal was dismissing us. Pushing the thoughts down, burying them as deeply as I could, I snapped out of my daze and followed Alice out the door, unsurprised to find myself in Edward's arms immediately as he pulled me outside, moving us away from the crowd that was so anxious to get to the parking lot.

"Are you okay? I'm sorry…I had no idea he would come here."

"I'm fine." I was a little surprised at how casual I sounded, and I could tell that he was too. Maybe I was getting better at this lying thing.

"Jasper was worried for a minute…he thought you were going to be sick. Are you sure you're alright? I know what Lauren said…"

"I don't care what Lauren said." I rolled my eyes, the gesture feeling as fake as the smile. "She'll give up eventually, anyway. And I'm fine."

"Bella…you don't have to pretend…"

"I'm not pretending anything." I forced my voice to sound a little annoyed. "But I do have a lot of homework…did you know that Esme was going to be our teacher…and that Jasper was changing his fifth period?" He grinned, and I celebrated my success in distracting him privately.

'I don't' have to feel bad about lying to him…I'm not even sure what I'm feeling anyway. I don't need to talk about it. I'm fine.' Lacing my fingers through his, I walked at his side to the parking lot, climbing into the Volvo beside him and ignoring the searching look Jasper was giving me from the jeep.


	4. Chapter 4

The study was quiet. The whole house was quiet, actually. Which wasn't odd…not really. My family was naturally quiet. They all had the advantage of moving without sound, and when they spoke to one another, I sometimes couldn't even see their mouths moving. But this was...strange. It was rare that the house would be this absolutely silent with everyone home. I wasn't sure if it was out of habit or if they were trying not to make me uncomfortable, but there was usually some indication that someone was home; Emmett and Jasper would start a brawl or Rosalie would confer with Alice about some fashion project…Edward usually played the piano, composing beautiful music that wafted throughout the house.

The first week of living with them had been strange enough even with the lack of noise. Of course, I knew that they didn't sleep or eat (in the traditional sense anyway) and so the first day home from school, I'd been incredibly self conscious to be the only one eating. Jasper had come downstairs when he'd sensed my anxiety, and eased it effortlessly, offering me a half smile and siting beside Alice who had been working on her computer. That in itself was interesting as well. I'd never thought about how the Cullens occupied themselves, but they really were similar to a normal family. Most of them enjoyed reading... and I'd been surprised to catch Jasper playing a computer game once. Of course Emmett loved video games and would drag anyone around into a game whenever he could, something I was usually willing enough to fall for. I'd walked in once to find Carlisle halfheartedly playing against him in a first person shooter, and had stood staring at them for a good ten minutes before I was fully able to process it.

It had been a surreal experience…but they were all happy enough to have me and make me comfortable, so I was grateful. Now, sitting in the middle of my study, I wondered what was going on. Standing I walked over to the door and all but leaned against it, closing my eyes and focusing on the sounds of the house….and nothing. I wondered if they were upset with me…

We'd all arrived home together, minus Esme who had to stay late to speak with the principal and get her lesson plans organized. Carlisle had greeted us from the living room where he sat on the sofa, a thick book in his lap that he sat aside when we entered. Alice had pranced up to him with a cheerful smile, pecking his cheek then heading to the sofa where she pulled out a laptop. Jasper grinned and followed her, lounging on the sofa beside her and turning on the TV where he was joined by Emmett. Rosalie headed for the garage and that left only Edward, Carlisle, and myself.

"How was your first day back?" Carlisle had asked, opening his arms and pulling me into a hug, kissing my forehead gently. I'd wrapped my arms around him, ignoring my shoulder when it ached for a second, then took a step back.

"It was fine. I have a lot of Calculus homework." I'd given him a half smile and turned toward the staircase, squeezing Edward's hand when I passed him and hurrying up the stairs. After shutting the study door firmly behind me, I'd dropped into my desk chair, letting my backpack fall onto the floor and letting my head fall into my hands. Which is how I found myself a half hour later.

I felt awful for my almost rudeness toward Carlisle…he'd only wanted to know how my day had gone, and he'd been nothing but kind and supportive ever since I'd moved in. And I hadn't missed the brief hurt look on his face when I'd pulled away and practically fled the room. Of course, Edward had been worried as well, which only made me feel worse. But I needed to be by myself…I couldn't tell them the truth. Because the truth was, the day had been awful, I'd wanted to go home almost as soon as I'd stepped into the building, and the feeling only got worse as the day wore on. Of course Jasper had done his best…they all did, but I couldn't expect Jasper to deal with my emotions for me…so suppression had been my best option…although I had no idea how well that worked. But the scene in the cafeteria…the nasty looks from Lauren…the guy that had laughed in my face…I sighed and wiped furiously at my eyes.

I'd promised myself that I wouldn't let my family know how much this was upsetting me, and if I started crying now, they would certainly hear. Reaching for my backpack, I grabbed my Calculus book and turned it to page 394, running my finger over the page until I found the right problem sets, then grabbed my notebook. But only three problems in, my paper was smudged with little droplets of water and I dropped my pencil, placing a hand over my mouth and crying silently. 'I can't let them know! I can't let them know how much this hurts!' I squeezed the hand on my leg, pinching the skin there through my pants until I could move my hand from my mouth without screaming. Grabbing the front of my shirt, I scrubbed at my face, standing and looking at the mirror that hung on the far wall over a black leather sofa. To me, I looked okay, but their vampire supervision would probably realize what was going on immediately….so I would avoid them. Sighing, I swallowed the pain and ripped out my wet notebook page and, after balling it up and tossing it into the trashcan, started a new page.

An hour or so into my math problems, there was a soft knock on my door. I took a deep breath and bit my lip. "Bella? Can I come in?" Forcing a smile, I focused on my current math problem.

"Yea, of course." I didn't turn until a hand touched my shoulder.

"Are you alright?"

"Fine." I winced when my voice was a little too chipper, and I knew he caught on as well.

"Bella…please tell me what's wrong." The chair turned and he knelt in front of me, reaching up and touching my face. "Please?"

"Sorry…I'm tired. I think I'm just sick of math problems already." Edward obviously wasn't convinced so I tried again, not quite lying but not really telling the truth. "And…my shoulder's been hurting." He reached out and took my hand, trailing one hand up my arm and resting it on my shoulder.

"Did you take your medicine?" I shook my head, trying to look sheepish, and he sighed, reaching into my backpack and pulling out the bottle of pills, then disappearing down to the kitchen and reappearing with a glass of water. "Bella, you're supposed to take them when your shoulder hurts." He kissed my cheek gently, then handed me the water, watching as I swallowed the pill. "Do you want to rest?"

"I'm fine." I assured him, leaning forward and kissing his nose then jerking back, giggling when he grinned, reaching out to grab me back and kiss me properly. "I love you." 'That's why I'm doing this. I can't hurt you anymore. This will all be over soon and hopefully you'll never know.' I was so glad he couldn't read my thoughts.

"I love you, Bella." He whispered in my ear, wrapping his arms around me and pressing his lips against my neck. I bit my lip, hating to lie to him. But how was I supposed to tell him when I didn't understand any of it myself. "Come on. You've got Esme worried." He stood, pulling me to my own feet and wrapping an arm around me. "She's making something for you to eat." I waned to tell him that I wasn't hungry, but had a feeling that that might require some more explaining.

The living room was empty when we descended the stairs, and I looked around curiously, wondering where the others were. The TV was off, the controllers placed back under the TV table. The computers were all put out of the way, either on the bookshelf or by the sofa. I could hear something in the kitchen but Edward led me into the living room and sat beside me on the sofa, reaching over and taking my hand. He was quiet for a long moment, his thumb rubbing the back of my hand. "You don't have to go back tomorrow." He said quietly, placing one hand on my face. "I'll stay home with you…anyone will if you want…or we'll all go back if you want to stay with Carlisle."

'This isn't working…I'm not acting well enough.' I forced my voice to sound frustrated and pulled back my hand. "Will you stop? Geez Edward, I told you I was fine." I didn't let myself notice how hurt he looked, or the way his shoulders slumped. "I'm tired, Edward. I've been working on those stupid math problems and that is the only thing that's wrong." Standing abruptly, I started to make my way to the kitchen, but he caught my arm.

"Bella, wait." He pulled me close and wrapped his arms around me, something I didn't object to. "I'm sorry. I'm just worried about you. I didn't mean to make you angry, love." He pulled away and cupped my palm in his cheek. "If you say you're fine, I believe you." I sighed, hoping the pain didn't show in my eyes, then just to be sure, leaned my head against his shoulder.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, putting my arms around his neck. "I shouldn't have snapped at you." He pressed his cheek against the top of my head. "I love you." I hoped he knew how much I meant that part.

"You are everything to me, Bella." He spoke urgently as he pulled away, looking into my eyes. For a second, I almost spoke. But Esme appeared behind him and he sighed, turning around to stand beside me to face her.

"Are you hungry, Bella? I made Italian." I smiled at Esme, walking over to her and hugging her fiercely.

"Thank you, Esme." Although she hugged me gently, her arms winding around my back and cupping the back of my head, I had the strangest feeling that she was talking to Edward behind my back.

As I sat at their kitchen table, Edward at my side, I wondered if I would ever get used to having someone cook for me when I was hungry. It was such a strange idea…I felt like I was being spoiled too much, honestly. But it seemed that the Cullens loved to cook, and by the time I realized that I was hungry, the smell of fresh food was usually already filing the house. At first I'd scolded them, but they'd paid no mind to me, only nodding along and placating me, then going back to cooking in the next second, until I gave up.

"So where is everyone?" I wondered after swallowing a piece of garlic bread.

Esme glanced up from a book and smiled a little, tilting her head and listening. "Jasper and Emmett are in the back…" She pursed her lips in irritation. "They're sparring. Edward…"

"Don't worry, Mom. They're not going to hurt each other." He chuckled.

Esme sighed and crossed her arms. "Alice and Rosalie went out. Shopping I think." Her smile was a little off and I frowned, watching her as she carefully placed the book on the counter and looked at Edward.

"Shopping?"

"Yea. Alice wanted to ask you but I told her you probably didn't want to go. Besides, she knew that you'd be too tired…by the time you got back it would be dark." I stared at Edward for a second…there was nothing particularly strange about that, but he still felt like he was keeping something from me. I mentally shrugged it off. I wasn't really in the mood for shopping anyway.

"What about Carlisle?"

Esme smiled benignly. "He had to run to the hospital for something…a consult I believe. He'll be back soon."

I focused on my food for a moment, not willing to take the risk of making small talk, sure that they would want to talk about my day back. But surprisingly, neither of them asked me any questions. Instead, Edward asked Esme about her new renovations project and she seemed happy enough to chat with him. 'Everything is not about you.' I scolded myself mentally as I took a bite of pasta. As soon as I'd finished eating, my plate disappeared and I stared irritably at Esme's back as she quickly washed up, ignoring Edward's quiet chuckle. "Esme…I can do that…you don't have to…"

"I don't mind at all, sweetheart." She kissed my forehead, dismissing my words before I could even say them and I signed in resignation.

"Did you want to do something?" Edward asked quietly when she headed to the door. I heard Carlisle's car pull up and shook my head, kissing his cheek quickly.

"No…I still have homework. I think I'm going to go upstairs." He smiled a little, kissing my forehead, then headed for the living room. 'Of course he thinks it's strange.' I berated myself. I usually did my homework with him at the kitchen table…or rather I did mine while he watched or distracted me. Sometimes I would read it in the living room, asking Jasper questions that he would absently answer while playing a complicated form of chess with Emmett, or dodging Alice's fashion related inquiries. It barely took them a full minute to do their homework, but much to my own surprise, they liked having me around, so we would all spend time in the living room together most days.

I'd learned this a week or so after moving in. Carlisle and Esme had shown me the study and I'd been spending most of my time either with Edward or in there. This particular day, Edward had been talking with Carlisle about something medical that I didn't understand, and I'd retreated to my study to finish up some history reading. Only a few chapters in, there had been a loud knock on my door. "Bella?" Emmett had called in a sing-song voice, and I'd grinned involuntarily.

"Who is it?" I'd sung back, and with a chuckle, Emmett had thrown the door open.

"What are you doing?" He'd wondered, ambling in and crossing his arms. I'd looked pointedly down at my history book and then back at him. "Why are you cooped up in here?" I'd looked at the history book again, this time with exaggerated slowness, then back at him. Rolling his eyes, he mumbled something about being a smart a*s, and then I'd been thrown over his shoulder. With a squeak, I'd dropped the book, clutching his shirt as we seemed to teleport down the stairs and into the living room. Dropping me with impossible gentleness onto the leather sofa, throwing a blanket over me, and placing the book that he'd somehow caught in my lap, he'd backed up a step and placed his open palm in front of me. "Stay." He'd commanded slowly, backing hesitantly up a step towards the sofa where a laughing Jasper had sat.

"Emmett, I'm not a dog!" I'd snapped, trying my best not to be amused.

"Stay!" He'd commanded again when I'd leaned forward, as if to get up and go back upstairs. Rolling my eyes when he took a step toward me, I'd thrown myself back against the sofa and crossed my arms, glaring at him. Unimpressed, he'd grinned and dropped onto the sofa beside Jasper. "Good human." Glancing at the stairs, I considered it for a second, then gave up, opening my history text back up and ignoring his comment and Jasper's laughter. I wouldn't even make it off the sofa.

"What are you doing to her?" I'd given Carlisle a half smile when he appeared at the top of the stairs…and then reappeared in the living room. He'd placed one hand on my shoulder, glancing at the history text, and then back at Emmett and Jasper.

"She stays cooped up in that room of hers all the time!" Emmett had whined. "We hardly ever see her!" I'd been confused then, until Jasper nearly knocked me over with a wave of emotion hat had had me fighting back tears.

"You…you want me down here?" I hadn't realized that I'd asked the question aloud, much less in such a small voice, until all three of them were staring at me with unreadable expressions. But this had been even stranger than the cooking. Charlie had never told me that he didn't want me around, but nor had he done anything other than watch sports channels with a single-mindedness that only a few could even aspire to. Meals were the only time we had ever even attempted to sit together in silence, so I had no idea why Emmett and Jasper would want me hanging around. But the emotions that Jasper had let me feel had been almost too intense for words, and I wondered if all vampires felt things this strongly. I'd always known, almost from the time that I'd met them, that I'd loved the Cullens…that I'd considered Emmett and Jasper my big brothers. But I'd never imagined that they could feel the kind of affection for me that Jasper was projecting...an affection reserved for the most beloved of family members.

For a second, I'd thought that Emmett was going to tease me…he was rarely serious anyway. But he only swallowed, sitting silently for a second, and then smiled earnestly, an expression that somehow looked forced.

"Yea, Bella. Of course we do." And then they'd gone back to their video game, and Carlisle had sat beside me, redirecting my attention to the history textbook. But they'd all seemed subdued, and I'd caught them whispering to each other in voices to quiet for me to hear. Since then, I'd spent most of my time in that same living room among my family. I hoped they weren't hurt now that I was disappearing back into my study.

The knock on the study door startled me, caught up as I was in remembering. I was pretty sure that Edward had bought my story about Calculus homework, and I thought he had been dragged into a video game with Emmett…a loud video game from the sound of it. Living with the Cullens, I had realized that they all gave each other privacy in whatever way they could. Emmett and Jasper usually played video games…loudly, Rosalie and Alice busied themselves with their own projects, fashion or cars, and Esme did the same, while Carlisle read or did research when he wasn't at work.

"Come in…" It sounded more like a question than an invitation, but the door opened anyway, and Jasper appeared in the doorway.

"Hey Bella." He smiled a little, stepping inside and shutting the door behind him. "How's Calculus?" I suddenly realized that I was supposed to be finishing my math homework and winced.

"Um…great. It's…I'm almost done."

He lifted an eyebrow but didn't argue, although he was obviously on to me. "You need any help?"

"No…it's fine. Esme did a really good job teaching us." Jasper walked over to where I saw, grabbing another chair and pulling it over to sit beside me. "Why do you sit if you don't have to?" I flinched internally, worried that my nervousness would make me blurt out something a little more incriminating than that. He gave me a strange look for a moment, and my nervousness eased a little.

"Habit. It makes the humans uncomfortable when we stand all the time." He said wryly. "Plus it would be weird to stare down at you while I'm trying to have a conversation." He leaned back in the chair, crossing one leg over the other. "Not to mention rude." I smiled weakly and his humor disappeared from his face. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I made my voice short as I stared at the wall just beside his face.

"He's not listening to us…and I can block him if you want me to." He promised softly. I shook my head firmly. I wasn't about to unburden on Jasper…I'd hurt him enough. The disastrous night of my 18th birthday came to mind…

"I'm fine, Jasper….but thanks." I smiled at him, letting myself feel only gratitude, and he sighed.

"Bella…" He seemed to think better of whatever he'd been about to say and smiled, reaching over to take my hand. "You can talk to me…if you ever need to. Okay? You really are my little sister…" That was almost my undoing; I could so easily see myself jumping into his arms, crying to my big brother about the terrible people and my own silly fears…

'It's only been one day…I'll be fine. I just need to give it some time.' I squeezed his hand instead. "Thanks, Jasper." He stared at me for a moment, then stood with an almost pained smile. As he walked out of my door, I wondered if he could feel that brief second of desperate longing I couldn't suppress. He didn't pause if he did.

I gave up on my Calculus homework. There was no way I would be able to concentrate for long enough to finish. Instead I skimmed the reading for history, then headed back downstairs in search of Edward, who I found on the sofa with Emmett. He smiled when I approached, losing all interest in the video game as I sat beside him, tucking myself under his arm. When Carlisle entered the room with a long box under his arm, I didn't think anything of it, especially since Emmett was whining at Edward. "Will you play already? We're going to lose….Edward!"

I laughed at his exasperation and grabbed the controller from Edward's lap, pushing a quick sequence of buttons until Emmett's avatar fell, undone by several bullets to the back, while Edward and Carlisle chuckled. He swore loudly and turned to glare at me, but I was too busy laughing to care, the release of emotion a positive change from the rest of the day. Emmett's eyes met mine and his face softened. Rolling his eyes, he threw the controller down and crossed his arms. "I was almost done with this level." He said mildly, tossing a cushion at me in the next second that Edward easily caught.

Carlisle sat on the sofa beside us, grinning at Emmett's temper and then turning to me, making me loose whatever comeback i'd been about to give. Instantly I remembered the hurt look on his face from earlier and was filled with remorse. I would have to find a way to hide my emotions without hurting him...and soon. "Did you get your homework done?" He asked, placing the box that I didn't pay much attention to beside him.

"More or less." I grinned a little sheepishly and he chuckled.

"Do you need any help?"

"No…I'm fine. Thanks though." He nodded, then reached out slowly to touch my arm.

"How's the shoulder?"

"Okay…it was hurting earlier but I took one of the pain pills…it's better now."

"And you were excused from gym? I spoke with the principal and gave him a note…I don't want you doing any kind of physical activity for a few days." I scooted over and pulled my collar away so that he could better see my shoulder, his hands icy cold as he touched the skin of my arm.

"We actually had an assembly today during gym."

"Oh." His voice was carefully surprised, and I knew that he'd spoken to the others. Well, if he was going to pretend not to know about my reaction, I wasn't about to bring it up. "Anything interesting?"

"Not really…just gun safety." He nodded, stealing a glance at me, and then replaced the collar of my shirt.

"Well, you're excused from gym until I give the okay. Your teacher has been instructed to give you alternate assignments." I nodded my understanding, glancing over at the TV screen where Emmett had started the level over. "Now…there is something I've been meaning to give you." His expression lightened while mine grew wary. My family loved lavishing gifts on one another…something that made me increasingly uncomfortable. "I've actually had it for a while, but what with recent events…well I thought now would be a good time anyway." I glanced over at Edward and Emmett who were carefully intent on the TV screen. Sighing at their uselessness, I turned back to Carlisle, only to find the box in my lap. "Go on." He laughed. "Open it."

I was about to say no. I was about to insist that he take whatever it was back and stop giving me gifts and spoiling me and making me feel worse about lying to him about everything….until I looked into his eyes. Whatever it was that he was giving me, he was excited about it. More importantly, he was trying not to be…probably because of my history. 'Why should I make him feel bad…he's done everything for me, and it's making him happy…why should I hurt him by refusing his gift.' Resigning myself to at least pretending to accept whatever he'd sat in my lap, I carefully unwrapped the paper, revealing a white box. Glancing up at him in confusion, I lifted the lid, then froze.

The silver case, complete with a white apple emblem on the front, told me exactly what his was and, more importantly, how much it cost. Every one of my instincts told me to throw a fit. But he was looking at me with that same mix of worry and excitement that made it completely impossible. "Carlisle…" I looked down at the beautiful computer that would work so much better than the old one Charlie had dug up back at his house and back at my adoptive father. "You…I…" Sighing because this was an argument I was never going to win…because of all the battles I was putting myself in, this was the one I could give up, I threw my arms around him, smiling a little when he let out a breath and hugged me back, one hand going naturally to the back of my head. "Thank you. I love it." I mumbled into his neck. I felt bad enough…I could give him this.

"You're welcome, Sweetheart." His voice was pleasantly surprised, and I could hear the smile in his voice, making me forget every plan to secretly return it.

'Well crap.'


	5. Chapter 5

Jasper stood in the yard, his eyes closed as he battled back the wave of emotion. He couldn't let Bella know how exhausting this was for him…it would only make her feel worse, and he couldn't bear the thought of hurting her. He took a deep breath, hoping he was far enough away that Edward wouldn't focus on his thoughts. He didn't feel anything abnormal coming from his brother, so he doubted Edward was listening for him. Alice was still upstairs, but he knew she'd come looking for him in a minute, so he had to calm down…if she knew that something was wrong, then Edward would know. And Bella had made it abundantly clear that she didn't want Edward to know. Giving in, he let himself fall to his knees on the damp grass, then sat back, crossing his legs. It was a strange sensation…his mind telling him that he was tired. Especially since his body never was. That had its advantages, of course (Alice came to mind and he grinned, then pushed the thought away, needing all of his focus) but it made for a disconcerting experience when his gift was worked too hard.

Sifting through her emotions, he tried to identify them. He'd learned that if he could at least categorize them, then he could move through them more easily…and maybe even learn why she was feeling this way, although she obviously didn't want his help…and he would certainly respect that…unless it threatened her health. He would not allow anything, not even her own emotions, to threaten his little sister. He would step in and manage them if he had to, or, if it got too bad, tell Carlisle and Edward what was going on. Until then, he would keep her secret.

The first emotion was the one he'd been reading from her all day in varying degrees and one he couldn't seem to understand; guilt. She was feeling so guilty that it was almost its own scent, separate from the one of blood pouring off of her. He had no idea why she was guilty, but there were different kinds of guilt….the kind that she'd felt at lunch when she'd assured them that she was fine, the kind that she'd felt after the assembly, the kind when she'd gotten home and raced off to her room…and then the kind when Carlisle had given her the computer he'd bought over a week ago. The first few led him to believe that she was lying to them…which he could understand. Years of being the weak link had often made him wish that he could lie to Edward. No one liked feeling weak, and he wouldn't call Bella out on her own perceived weakness, even if he disagreed with her assessment of herself. The last though…he had no idea.

Since he'd met her, he'd noticed that Bella felt guilty when someone did something for her, no matter who they were. She would often feel guilty when Carlisle or Esme cooked for her, and then on her 18th birthday party, it had poured off of her in waves…up until the point it had turned briefly to terror. He winced at that. 'Not that I don't deserve it…..' Despite the fact that he felt that he'd redeemed himself, he still couldn't think of that day without pain, and he suspected that she couldn't either. Then the day at the airport when, to his own surprise, she'd been happy to see him. He'd been too concerned about Alice to focus much on his youngest sister, but he wondered now if she would have welcomed his embrace like Alice did.

Sighing, he scolded himself for getting off track. He'd have to think about Bella's crippling guilt later. Because the other emotion, thicker and buried deeper under the surface, was anxiety, and that worried him much more. It led to her nightmares and panic attacks, and now she was burying it. He wondered if this was her way of dealing or if she was hoping he wouldn't notice buried emotion….he certainly wasn't about to tell her that this only made the emotions stronger, if harder to get a handle on. Today after lunch, her buried anxiety had made her physically ill, and he didn't know if he should keep that from Carlisle. She hadn't mentioned it, but he knew the others had, and he was thinking about revealing the source of her illness. He didn't want to use his gift in what she would surely see as a betrayal, but he also couldn't stand by and watch her hurt. That was why he'd switched into her gym class. He'd known that she was anxious about having a class alone and sought to ease that.

But just using his gift to ease her emotions wouldn't help much if he didn't treat the source. He couldn't foresee himself ever leaving his beloved family, nor could Alice, and he almost couldn't bear the thought, but if something were to happen where he couldn't be there, he didn't want her so dependent on his ability that she couldn't cope on her own. Sighing a little in relief as the painful emotions faded a little…he quickly identified pain and sadness, remorse and…he laughed softly…irritation, before they eased a little, leaving only resignation and a comfortable mix of happiness and comfort that he usually felt from her.

"Is she okay?" He grinned ruefully into the darkness when the voice came from behind him, slim hands wrapping around his waist. He should have known that she'd see him reading Bella. But he would also have to tone down his concern. If Alice knew how worried he was, then she wouldn't be able to hide it from their brother…and then all of Bella's efforts would be for nothing, and he didn't think that calling her out right now would be helpful. It would just make her angry, and she would try shoving her emotions deeper than before.

"She's a little anxious…she had been all day. I think she's just nervous about school."

"Rose and I went to Lauren's house…"

"Did you speak with her?"

"No…" Alice sounded rueful. "Rose was too anxious to kill her. I knew Carlisle would be upset, so we left. We did remove her engine though…" He chucked, knowing it may be immature, but glad they'd done something. Of course they could talk to the girl…threaten her, bribe her…but he doubted it would do any good. Despite what Carlisle believed, not everyone could be reasoned with. Some people were just cruel, and he had a feeling that Lauren was one of them…as were her minions. She'd been spreading rumors about them since their arrival, but none of them were hurt. It was never a bad thing when other students didn't want to socialize with them. It was dangerous to make friends, although they'd made friendly acquaintances over the years. But then Bella had come along…remembering his reaction…how willing he'd been to assassinate her, he clenched his jaw and thanked God for Carlisle and Edward. Had it not been for their absolute refusal to allow that…and then Alice's declaration that she and Bella would be best friends….he clutched Alice's hands gratefully. He couldn't even imagine it now, so he stopped trying.

"It won't really do anything if we talk to her?"

"I don't think so…it's hard to see. We're too indecisive…Bella included. It's got our future in knots." She leaned her head against his back and he rubbed his thumbs over her soft hands. "I don't know how much more Bella can take, Jasper…if something happens…I know Carlisle doesn't want to pull her out of school so close to her graduation…but we have to protect her."

"Well will." He soothed her. "We'll keep her physically safe…as physically safe as possible. And I'll keep an eye on her…I'm close enough to her to watch her all day, even if it irritates her." Alice laughed softly. "If it gets too bad, I'll go get her and bring her home. I won't let anything happen to her." He smiled when he felt her overwhelming gratitude and love, then turned, putting his arms around her and kissing her on the top of her head.

"I love you too." He mumbled, holding her close in dim light coming from the distant house.

Edward glanced at his sleeping mate, his lips pursed. She mumbled occasionally, words that didn't make any sense, and he felt himself smile involuntarily. "The…cat…stop the cake…" She murmured and he grinned, smoothing her hair. He would give anything just to see her dreams…they fascinated him, gave him his only insight into her unguarded mind. "Sorry." She'd been saying that all night, and he frowned in worry, having no idea why she felt the need to say that she was sorry.

Shifting his gift until he was focused on the other members of his house, he listened. Rosalie was talking to Esme about Bella….Carlisle was worrying…about Bella. He sighed. The only ones not worried about his love were Jasper and Alice…and only because they were…well, he kept his mind away from them, not particularly wanting to think about either his sister or his brother in that way. Emmett was sitting on the couch, his hands clasped in his lap while he listened to Rose and Esme. Glancing at the clock, Edward realized it was only 2 in the morning and sighed, standing quietly and stepping over to the small pile of books in the corner that belonged to Bella, selecting one and sitting beside her once again, resting one hand on her side as she snugged against him, and tried to loose himself in the story.

"No…don't." Edward stiffened when her tone changed, looking down at her in mild alarm.

"Bella?" He spoke softly, running his hand down her side and dropping the book.

"Please…no…my mom…" He sighed as he moved his hand to rub her back, debating on whether or not to wake her. "No!" Her voice rose in volume and there was a soft knock on the door.

"Come in." He invited, pulling her into his arms and holding her close. "Shh, Bella. Wake up, love. It's a dream. Bella, wake up." He let his own voice rise in volume when Emmett and Carlisle stepped into his room, followed by Esme. Wondering briefly where Jasper was, then shaking his answer from his mind, he touched Bella's warm face.

"The same nightmare?" Carlisle asked, sitting on the bed and placing a hand on her forehead, his mind monitoring her heart rate and breathing rate.

"She called out for her mom." Edward told him with a grimace, letting Carlisle know exactly which nightmare he thought she was having. Bella hadn't dreamed about the monsters her mother had dated for a while now…her subconscious preferring to torment her with images of her family being gunned down in front of her. But it seemed this one was back.

"No! Mom!" Bella screamed in her sleep, her fists clenched in the blankets as tears seeped from her eyelids. Carlisle frowned in concern and carefully pulled her away from Edward, telling him silently that he was worried that she was going to go into a panic.

"Bella? Wake up, Bella. It's a dream." He sat her up, supporting her head as he leaned her against him. "Bella!" He called to her as she started to fight him, holding her still and taking care with her left arm. "It's okay Bella."

"Mommy! No!" She was sobbing now, striking at him with her fists until he restrained her, not wanting her to hurt herself.

"Bella…" Esme stepped forward, her own anguish adding to Edward's, and placed a hand on her face. Suddenly Bella seemed to calm, her hands resting on Carlisle's chest. "Sweetheart, wake you. You're okay, honey. You're safe."

"Mom?" Bella mumbled incoherently before opening her eyes blearily, focusing on Esme, then sighing in relief, throwing herself into the woman's arms. "Mom.' She whimpered, wrapping her arms around the surprised woman's neck. "He killed you." She sobbed, resting her nose against Esme's shoulder and breathing deeply through her tears.

"Oh baby…no, I'm fine. I'm okay, Bella. It was just a dream." Edward had to smile a little, albeit grimly, and the contentedness Esme was feeling…the way she loved to hold her daughter and comfort her. "It's late, sweetheart. Go back to sleep. Okay? I'm right here."

"Mom?" Bella blinked slowly, her exhaustion pulling her back under. "Sorry." She managed to mumble before slipping back into sleep in Esme's arms. Carlisle shifted closer to them, wrapping his arms abound his wife and youngest daughter, and Edward wondered again if she was really going to be okay. How much of this could his human love take before she broke down? It was evident from the nightmares that plagued her that something was wrong…but she wouldn't let him help her. Dropping back onto the pillows, he closed his eyes, wishing that he could sleep on it.

Alice gasped, covering her mouth with her hand and sitting straight up in the bed she shared with Jasper. Her mate frowned at her, his gift sending her his love and comfort, but she shook her head, clutching the blanket to her chest. "Alice?" Jasper held her in his arms and she felt herself sob. "What is it? What did you see?"

"It's gone…" She wiped at her eyes, a human reaction so ingrained that she didn't even think about it. "It was just for a second…can't let Edward see."

"What?"

"Bella…" He stiffened beside her, and she took a second to be glad that he loved their sister as much as she did. "It's fine." She took a calming breath, clutching his hand. "It's all fuzzy again…she'll be okay...we won't let it happen."

"Let what happen, Aly?"

She saw it again in her mind...the fuzzy vision that had only lasted half a second...only one possible future...the way Bella's brown eyes glazed over, the girl's lungs constricting as she gasped, blood running from the corner of her mouth…Carlisle hovering over her, his lips close to her throat as he kissed her gently, his breath catching in a sob...whispering words of comfort...then sank his teeth into her neck…and she knew she couldn't tell Jasper. Edward couldn't see that. "It's gone." She said firmly. They would prevent that future…and whatever decisions might cause it. Her sister wouldn't go through that. When she was changed, it wouldn't be from the brink of death…Alice would make sure of it. "We just have to keep her safe, Jazz."

Carlisle rubbed his wife's back, then gently helped her lay Bella back on the bed where his son lay stiffly, his jaw clenched. He knew that Edward was upset…they were all upset. He had to wonder if he was doing the right thing…allowing her to go back. She'd been…different since arriving home, and he'd instantly begun worrying when she'd pulled away from him, running up the stairs to hide in her little room. He was glad it could make her feel safer, but he hated that she felt threatened in the first place. After approaching first Edward, and then Emmett, he'd learned about the incident in the lunchroom, which he believed was affecting her more than she was willing to let on, her sickness after lunch, and her reaction to seeing Charlie at the school.

But what right did he have to tell her no…that she couldn't go back? To pull her out of school so close to her graduation? He wasn't really her guardian…although she obviously loved him, he wasn't sure that she would be okay with him telling her what to do, especially after he'd advised her to speak with Charlie. Edward sighed softly and he looked over at his son's look of irritation. "You're her father." He told him simply. "She'll do whatever you tell her to…because she trusts you."

"You can't read her mind, Edward." They spoke so softly that Bella could never hope to hear, especially in her sleep.

"I can." They glanced up at Jasper who now stood in the doorway, and Carlisle wondered at the confused look on Edward's face. "Well, I can read her emotions, and that's closer than what anyone else can do." Jasper grinned ruefully, then sobered as he watched Bella shift in her sleep. "She sees you as her father, Carlisle. More than she ever did Charlie."

"That doesn't give me the right to tell her what to do."

"It gives you the responsibility to protect her." He frowned at the frustrated tone of his son's voice, but glancing over at Edward he saw that his other son was just as confused. "You'll take her out if it get's bad, right?"

"Jasper…"

"You're her father, Carlisle!" Jasper swallowed and took a breath, controlling himself as he sat on the bed beside them, touching Bella's back gently. "She sees you as her father. She trusts you to look after her…to make choices that will keep her safe, even if she doesn't consciously know it."

"Jasper what's wrong?"

"Please…" He clenched his jaw, reaching out to Carlisle and gripping his hand. "Dad please, think about it." Carlisle frowned at the haunted look in his son's eyes and nodded.

"Of course, Jasper. If I feel like she's being physically threatened…I'll take her out of the school." Jasper looked down at Bella, his eyes softening for a second, and he dropped his head to kiss her temple, then fled the room, glancing over at Edward as he went.


	6. Chapter 6

I woke in someone's arms…but not Edward's. But even in my sleep addled state, I wasn't alarmed. There were only a few possibilities, especially considering the icy chill emanating from the body. The arms were too slim to belong to Emmett or Carlisle, and long hair tickled at my face, disqualifying Alice. If I had to guess…but I didn't, I told myself in detached amusement. Opening my eyes, I found myself tucked against a gently curving body, with long, soft brown hair touching my nose. Bringing one hand up, I touched Esme's arm, and she pulled away a little, smiling down at me tenderly. "Esme?" I mumbled, not unhappy, but a little embarrassed and confused, until she kissed my forehead.

"It's early, Bella. You can go back to sleep if you like." I looked around the empty room in confusion. "Edward is downstairs…do you want me to call for him?" She seemed concerned and I frowned at her.

"What's wrong Esme?" I asked. "What happened?"

"You had a nightmare, sweetheart. We were worried…" I sat up in her arms slowly, trying to remember, but I couldn't…I remembered Carlisle's voice and Edward's…slowly I started to remember calling out for…my mother. Blushing, I ducked my head.

"Sorry." I mumbled, my face heating further.

"What? Why would you be sorry, Bella?"

"I…I mean, if you don't want me to…" I clutched my hands nervously for a second. "I know…you've already got kids and…"

"Oh, Bella…" Esme crushed me to her chest, somehow knowing exactly how much pressure to exert so as not to hurt me. Just like when Carlisle held me, I instantly knew that I would be safe in her arms. "Of course I'm your mother." She mumbled into my hair. "I'm honored that you think of me as your mom…you don't have to be embarrassed about that."

I couldn't explain to her…but I was embarrassed. I'd never needed my mother. Well, I'd told myself consistently through the years that I didn't need her, usually after she let me down in some way. My mother had made a habit of putting her own life before me, and had blatantly chosen her own love life over the safety of her daughter. She'd tried to be my friend, especially when I'd become a teenager, but with Jeremy in the house…I cut the thought off ruthlessly, crushing the pain associated with those memories. So now, needing a mother…what did that say about all the strength I thought I had?

'Why is needing Edward or Carlisle any different?' I flinched a little, not liking that question any better. But it was easy enough if I thought about it. 'Edward is my soul mate. That's completely different than a mother. And…I've never really had a father.'

"Bella? Are you okay?"

"Fine." I sighed, pulling away a little.

"Bella wait." She touched my face, holding me still beside her. "Can't you tell me what's wrong?" I bit my lower lip, staring down at the blankets. How could I refuse her? Because no matter what I told myself, no matter how much I pretended otherwise, I saw her as my mother.

"I…" I shook my head, my teeth digging into my lip until her hand cupped my face, gently making me release my lip.

"Don't hurt yourself Bella." Her voice was firm as she held my face in her hands. She looked into my eyes for a minute, then shook her head minutely, dropping her hands. "How's your shoulder?"

"Um…fine." I wasn't even lying…I hadn't thought about it yet this morning, but it wasn't really hurting…there was just a lingering soreness that I'd grown accustomed to.

"Alice wants you to stay home today." She started to pull away but I couldn't help myself…I gripped her arm tightly in my hand. I couldn't talk about what was wrong, and she seemed to understand, but I needed her close. She softened, turning her hand to hold mine. "Carlisle and I agree…we all do. Maybe you should take the day off."

"I…I can't." I told her simply. Because it was such a wonderful thought…because there was nothing I wanted to do more than to run and hide from the bullies…because I was afraid that if I took one day off, I would never go back. She looked at me for a long moment, obviously having some kind of internal debate. "Please, Esme. It's not really that bad. I just overreacted yesterday." I lied through my teeth…anything to get her to say yes…but I didn't dare let myself think about yesterday, about Charlie…about any of it. I would just take it day by day…and try to suppress as much as I could. At least I could shield Jasper. Suppression seemed to work pretty well.

"Okay Bella." She stood, squeezing my hand gently. "But I want you to promise me something." I forced myself to meet her eyes. "Promise me that if it gets too bad…if you start feeling unwell…that you'll tell me. Or one of the others. Call Carlisle if you have to…just talk to someone."

"I promise." I lied.

The car sped down the road towards Forks High school, and Edward hadn't let go of my hand since I'd come downstairs that morning. I looked over nervously when he turned into the parking lot at a speed which seemed unsafe, all while holding tightly to my hand. Glancing in the rearview mirror, I watched as Emmett followed closely behind us with the others. Esme had arrived earlier, and we passed her beautiful sleek Mercedes on the way in. Stepping out of the car, I was almost instantly reunited with Edward, who held me close to his side as though he was waiting for someone to attack. Behind me, Emmett walked with Rosalie, and Alice walked close on my other side, her hand held in Jasper's.

Something was off about my spiky haired sister. Her outfit was…boring. Even by my standards. Her simple t-shirt, covered by a short black jacket, and blue jeans looked like something I might wear. Her make up, usually subtly done to play up her beautiful eyes and distract from her chalky pallor, was almost nonexistent. She wore no jewelry except for the necklace I'd never seen her without, and on her feet were…sneakers? I stole glances at her, more concerned for my sister than about the stares we were getting. "What?" I looked over abruptly at her sharp tone and raised my eyebrows. She was rarely short with me…she was rarely short with anyone.

"Um…nothing. Sorry." I mumbled, ducking my head and continuing toward the school. She didn't reply, but glancing over once again I noticed that her jaw was tightly clenched and she was looking around anxiously. Suddenly Edward froze in his tracks and he turned to stare at her, his face paling as he tightened his hold on me. Completely confused now, and starting to understand why the others found Edward's gift annoying, I turned to Jasper, who looked like he was in pain, and then to Emmett and Rosalie who looked just as confused as I was. "What? What is it?" I asked quietly, aware that the entire student population seemed to be watching us with varying degrees of curiosity and disgust.

"It wasn't anything." Alice sounded defensive.

"How could you hide this from me!?" Edward snapped, tightening his hold until it was almost painful.

"What would have caused it? What triggered it?"

"I don't know! It just…flashed in front of me. Then it was gone. The future changes all the time Edward! It was just one possible…"

"And you let…"

"Well I tried to stop…" Squirming in his grasp, I pulled away from Edward's arms when he released me, rubbing irritably at my ribs and wondering why they had to have pointless half conversations outside the school.

"Alice! Edward!" Emmett put a hand on each of their shoulder and pulled them away from where they were leaning in close to one another. "What? What's going on?"

"Alice…saw something." Jasper mumbled.

"Obviously." Rosalie's voice was dripping with annoyance. "What did she see?" Jasper glanced over at me so quickly that I might have imagined it, but suddenly their demeanor changed completely and they were all talking in voices I could barely hear.

"I have no idea! My dad said that my engine was gone!" I spun around at the furious voice, momentarily forgetting my sometimes-overprotective vampire family and lifted an eyebrow at Lauren who was screeching into a cellphone. "No! The police came and everything! But it's gone! Like…disappeared." Turning to Emmett and Jasper, I lifted an eyebrow, but they were all still whispering tensely. "I don't know! They…" She caught me staring and clenched her jaw. "I'll bet it was one of the Cullen freaks. You know their dad has, like, a hundred cars..." I rolled my eyes and turned back to my family who had all seemed to come to a consensus.

"You're sure it's gone." Edward's voice was a little quieter now.

"Yes." Alice was frozen in place, her arms tightly crossed, but she glanced at me every few seconds.

"Is someone going to tell me what's going on?" I asked quietly, looking around to find that we were mostly alone in the parking lot, as Lauren was making her way up the front stairs.

"Alice had a vision…about you." Edward told me reluctantly, his eyes watching my face carefully. "But it disappeared…it's not going to happen. Whatever decision led to it was…changed." I frowned at the cryptic statement.

"What was the vision?" I looked over at Alice who wouldn't meet my eyes. "Alice? What was it?"

"It doesn't matter." She answered waspishly, pushing past me as she hurried into the front building. Jasper sighed, reaching out to touch my arm when she'd pushed me.

"She's not mad at you." He assured me kindly, offering me silent comfort through his gift. "She's just worried. She doesn't know what caused the vision…so she doesn't know how to prevent it from….happening. If something changed." I nodded at his grim expression, biting my upper lip.

"Don't worry about it, Bella." Emmett tousled my hair, grinning when I glared at him in annoyance. "We'll keep you safe." His tone was teasing, but his eyes were serious, and I pitied whoever dared go against my frightening brother. Edward put his arm back around me, more gently this time, and led me silently into the school, the way his jaw clenched telling me exactly who any would-be attackers would have to deal with.

I made a concentrated effort in English to act normal. I paid attention to the lecture, taking detailed notes and pretending not to see Edward's sidelong glances. I even answered a question when our teacher called on me. We were working through Macbeth now, another of Shakespeare's plays that I knew pretty well. Beside me, Edward's pen flew across his paper, taking down a prefect transcription of the lecture, something I knew he did just to keep himself from going mad of boredom. He'd told me once that school was made bearable by my presence, but before he'd met me, he'd thought of it as hell…which I could understand. I was hoping we could spend some time at college after my transformation before I had to go back to high school.

Letting my mind wander toward the end of class, I wondered how we would pretend to be related once I was truly a part of their family. Carlisle had told me that they changed their last names and relationships, although the name Cullen was always how they thought of themselves. Usually they tried to act as young as possible so that they could stay in one place as long as possible. Carlisle went by several names in the professional field, but people got suspicious when he didn't age, and eventually he would pack up and disappear with his family. In Forks, Alice, Emmett, and Edward played siblings, while Rosalie and Jasper were twins, and that way they could all at least be with their mates in public without raising too many incest rumors…although they had to deal with their share of them anyway. It was doubtful that I would be able to pass as Rosalie and Jasper's triplet, I though wryly. I wondered how they decided their aliases…I knew that Jasper was the one who got the fake ID's, but I'd never asked how.

Beside me, Alice was studiously ignoring me…or maybe I was taking it too personally…maybe she was just really into Macbeth. She sat stiffly in her seat, her eyes trained on the front of the room. I wanted to ask her what was going on…I had no idea what could be wrong with her. Alice never stayed mad at me…actually she never really got mad at me in the first place. She'd been my first friend among the Cullens, and my first female friend ever.

And Jasper had assured me that she wasn't mad at me…and the Cullens made it a habit not to lie to me. Of course they sometimes kept things from me, but that was usually out of a misguided attempt to protect me, and lying about Alice wouldn't keep me safe. So maybe she really was just worried. But why? What had the vision been about?

The bell chimed, interrupting my musings, and I stood, mechanically placing my notebook back in my backpack, and watched, unable to keep the hurt from my face as Alice all but stormed out of the classroom, not even glancing my way. Edward took my hand gently, peering into my eyes. "She's upset. It scared her…that vision. She's just worried." His words were reassuring, meant to defend his sister, but he was obviously upset with her.

Jasper was already at his desk when we arrived, and I slid into the seat between him and Edward, placing my notebook and loose paper on my desk, hoping for a lecture. Luck was with me, because the grad student, after taking a second to greet us, immediately launched into a slideshow of the major generals of the Civil War. Briefly I wondered what he would say if he knew that one of the youngest Majors of the Confederate Army was doodling on a piece of notebook paper in this very room. Jasper looked up at me, a curious half grin on his face, trying to work out the reasons behind my amusement. I fought back a smile, keeping my eyes on the power point, and Jasper sighed, rolling his eyes and sending me a wave of fondly irritated amusement, which he often did when I didn't tell him the reasoning behind my emotions.

Slipping a piece of paper over my notebook, I casually glanced up as if to check the power point, then began writing, glancing up every so often.

'Won't you please tell me what Alice's vision was about? Why is she so angry with me? She won't even speak to me.' Folding the paper in half, I placed it on Jasper's desk when Mark's back was turned. Edward glanced at me curiously, but I knew he could just look through Jasper's thoughts to see what I had written. I didn't care though…I needed to know.

I could feel Jasper's reluctance, and after only a few seconds, the paper was back on my desk. 'I'm sorry, Bella. Alice and Edward think it best that you don't know. This vision is gone anyway. Whatever decision would have led to that outcome has been changed. Please don't worry about it.'

I let Jasper feel the full extent of my irritation, biting my lip as I wrote furiously, my anger making my handwriting worse than usual. 'If it's nothing to worry about, why were you all acting so strangely this morning? And why won't Alice speak to me? Why should all of you get to know?!'

This time I heard Jasper sigh, and Edward was shaking his head, mumbling something I couldn't hear. After a second, Jasper answered, and I felt my annoyance rising. 'You'll have to ask Alice or Edward if you want to know the full vision. She wouldn't tell me. All I know is that you were badly injured. We don't want you to worry…we'll keep you safe. As for why Alice is angry, she wanted us to keep you home today, and Carlisle refused. He insisted that it was your choice and she accused him of not wanting to protect you. She apologized, but she knows she hurt him. And she is worried about the vision coming back. That's all I know.' I stared down at the paper, my lip between my teeth.

'I caused a fight between Alice and Carlisle.' The thought made my stomach turn…and by the tenseness in the atmosphere, I had just caused another one between Jasper and Edward who were sending each other sharp looks and mumbling in irritated tones. I clenched my hands in my lap, pinching the skin on the back of my hand as I fought back the guilt that I barely understood. If Jasper felt this, he'd know something was wrong. The mumbles stopped abruptly and Jasper was openly staring at me, surprised concern briefly on his face before he sighed and turned back to the teacher, his jaw clenched. Forcing myself to breathe normally, I released my hand, struggling to focus on the teacher's words.

'You're making them fight. All of them. It's your fault…they never have so much trouble when you're not involved. This is your fault. No…stop…. you're going to hurt Jasper.' That thought made it much easier to clamp down on the emotion, shoving it down as I forced myself to think about the Civil War…or Mark…or anything really. A gentle wave of reassurance moved toward me, wrapping around me and assuring me that I was okay. I knew better than to trust anything that I felt around Jasper, but I let myself be comforted.

As soon as class was over, Jasper was leaving the room, pausing briefly to touch my shoulder, then disappeared. I stood, looking first at the door and then over at Edward in confusion. "He wants to talk to Alice." He said simply, taking my hand and pulling me close, as though the last hour of no contact was too much for him….not that I disagreed. Well, usually anyway. Now it just made me feel worse, whatever strange, pained emotions I was pushing down trying to make a reappearance when he held me…because I certainly didn't deserve it. Not when I was hurting their family.

I sat in the Calculus class next to Jessica like I always did, but as soon as I saw her, I was suddenly so angry that I could have punched her in the face right there. All I could see was her snickering as that boy called me out in front of the cafeteria, her laughter that melted with his. And I knew it would be different than punching Jacob…she was fully human, as far as I knew. Her face would certainly take some damage.

"Hey Bella!" I literally felt my throat close with hatred so quickly that it shocked me. I wasn't typically an angry, violent person…Jacob was the only person I'd ever tried to hit. So the fact that I was seriously considering smashing her face in…in the middle of my Calculus classroom, surprised me. "So did you hear about Lauren's car?" I swallowed hard, staring at her, unsure of what my face looked like. Esme stood at the front, about to call the class to order, but Jessica seemed to drone on. "Someone stole her engine...like, the whole thing! Who even does that? I mean, she thinks it was one of Edward's brothers…it wasn't was it?" She stared at me expectantly. "Like…did they leave last night? Everyone's saying that…"

"Will you shut up, you two faced little b*tch?" I'd meant to whisper it…or maybe I hadn't…I certainly hadn't meant to snarl at her. Either way, my almost unfamiliar cold voice echoed throughout the suddenly silent room. Biting my lip, I turned away from her incredulous face, refusing to allow myself the satisfaction of smashing my hand into her perky little face, and met Esme's unreadable gaze.

"Out into the hallway please, Isabella." I didn't misread her tone…that was not a question. Standing, I left my backpack and books then stepped outside the classroom, refusing to meet Esme's eyes and ignoring the snickers and whispers of the other students. Shutting the door behind me, I leaned against the wall beside the door, bringing my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them, letting my head fall against my knees and chocking back a furious sob as I listened to Esme collect the homework and instruct them to start on a worksheet she handed them. The door opened and closed then, and Esme was standing in front of me. She was silent for a long moment, and then took a deep, unnecessary breath. "Stand up, please." Once again, it wasn't much of a request, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Biting my lip as hard as I could, I winced at the coppery taste that filled my mouth. In front of me, Esme stiffened.

I didn't realize I was crying silently until Esme was holding me, wiping my face and holding me still as I tried to rock back and forth. 'This is stupid…what are you doing? Why can't you just pretend to be normal for her sake? You're hurting her!' That thought made me cry harder, although I didn't dare make any noise.

"Bella, Bella." I realized suddenly that Esme was whispering my name over and over, trying to calm me down. "Honey, please talk to me. What's going on?"

'Stop. Stop crying. You have to stop…she can't call for Jasper…he'll know.'

"I'm taking her home." I was surprised when two firm hands pulled me to my feet, pulling me against a small body and tucking my face against a cold neck. "I told you…getting hysterical…not coping…we're pretending…I don't…" Even as close as I was, I could only make out every few words of her whispered admonishment.

"Do…Jasper?"

"No…hiding….won't say…Edward's car?"

With that, Alice had her arm firmly around me and was leading me to the women's bathroom. Too shocked to focus on being upset anymore, I followed without complaint into the room where I'd stood on a toilet, crying and waiting for Emmett to save me. She seemed to pull a washcloth from nowhere and, after running it under cold water, started carefully washing around my eyes, then ran a miniature brush through my hair with surprising gentleness. "Rinse your mouth out…you're bleeding." She didn't seem to be in pain from the smell, but she stopped breathing for a minute when I spit the mix of water and blood into the sink and then washed it down the drain.

Seemingly not bothered by my lack of response, she tugged me along out the front door, no one coming out to stop us. Pulling a key ring out of her pocket, she led me to Edward's car, opened the passenger door, pushed me in, and was in the driver's seat in less than a second. Then we were speeding away, navigating our way to the interstate and heading south, much to my surprise. "Alice…what's going on?"

"I didn't mean to hurt you." She said simply, her body stiff in the seat beside me.

"What? This morning?"

"No…what?" She was silent for a moment and then her eyes widened and she turned to look at me with huge, remorseful eyes. "When I walked by…did I hurt you!?"

"No! I mean…not really….Alice what's going on?"

She sighed, shaking her head. "I'm sorry. I meant, I didn't mean to hurt you because I was upset. I didn't want you to come to school today…I was worried about the vision and I didn't want you to get hurt."

"What about the vision was so bad? I get hurt all the time." I reminded her with a smile, trying to ease the tension, but her lips pressed together.

"Not so badly that Carlisle has to change you." My eyes widened and I was silent. "I know you want to become one of us, Bella. And we all want you as a permanent member of our family. But we don't want you to be on the brink of death…" Her voice caught and she sighed. "I said something horrible to Carlisle, Bella. No, don't look like that. It's not your fault that I took it out on him. I just wanted to keep you home. But it wasn't my choice. I don't want to control your life, Bella, and that's what I was trying to do. I'm sorry." I reached out and caught her hand, squeezing as hard as I could in the hopes that she would feel it. She grinned a little. "I love you Bella. We all do."

I blushed softly, looking down at the floor. It was an unfamiliar thing…to have a family member declare their love for me out of the blue…in broad daylight (well…metaphorically speaking…it was actually really cloudy). "I love you too Alice. I love all of you."

"Then why won't you talk to us?" My breath caught for a second and I gave her a surprised look. "We all know that something is wrong, Bella. I know you don't want to hurt Jasper…and I appreciate that…he does too. But you aren't making it any better by burying it." I started to pull away, to cross my arms and turn my face away, but she caught me before I could take my hand back. "You don't have to hide from me. Or any of us for that matter. You know that we love you, so of course we want to help you. Why can't you let us?" I didn't answer, staring down at my lap, and was surprised when, a few minutes of tense silence later, we pulled into a parking lot. We were at a rest stop somewhere, the parking lot entirely empty, the only building a restroom and an empty hut with a few brochures on the wall. "I'll block Edward if you want me to. You know we can all do that pretty well by now…but I don't understand why you want me to." She turned in her seat, pulling me around to face her. "Talk to me Bella."

I opened my mouth with the intention of telling her that I was fine, that I had no idea what she was going on about, but honestly it sounded ridiculous even in my head. "I don't know why I'm being like this, Alice." I whispered, unable to meet her eyes. "People have always been mean…but I though Jessica and Mike were my friends…crappy friends, but still sort of friends, and now everyone is saying such terrible things about us…about Jasper and Emmett….even Carlisle. If they know how much I…" I bit my lip but she stopped me, touching my face.

"Don't do that. You'll hurt yourself again."

"It's my fault, Alice."

"What's your fault?"

"You're all so worried and you're fighting and I don't want your family to…"

"Stop." She covered my mouth gently with one hand. "First of all, they are not my family…they are our family. Okay? Don't think for a second that we don't all see you as a Cullen, no matter what your last name is. And second, you are not responsible for our actions. If we get into arguments or even start fighting, it is not your fault. We all love each other, but sometimes, family members fight. We've lived together for a very long time, and we've learned to get along most of the time. And Bella, we're worried about you because we're afraid you're hurting. And you are. I can tell….so can everyone else. And after everything you've been through, it's natural to be hurting. You don't have to hide it. It makes it worse when you do. You aren't inconveniencing us, you silly human." She touched my cheek tenderly, wiping at a tear that escaped. "And hiding this from Edward isn't going to keep it from hurting him…from any of us. We all hurt when you do. That's how families work."

"I don't know what's wrong, Alice." I whimpered, leaning against her hand, and she pulled me closer, leaning over the armrest to hold me.

"I know. It's okay though. You'll get through it, and we'll help." She squeezed me firmly, then pulled away, kissing my cheek. "There. You look a little better."

I did feel a little better, as if the giant mass that seemed to sit in my stomach was a little smaller. "You've been sick though." She accused, crossing her arms. "Whenever you eat, you start feeling ill. We need to talk to Carlisle about that." I flinched, realizing that my attempts at hiding that had all been in vain. "We need to talk to Carlisle about a couple of things. Now, let's go." She pulled out of the parking lot, then got back on the expressway…still heading south.

"Um…Alice?"

"What? If we're ditching school, we're going to do something fun." Having a sinking feeling that shopping was going to be involved, I sighed and resigned myself to Alice's idea of distracting me.


	7. Chapter 7

I'd never been to this particular mall. That didn't really mean much…I'd only been to about three or four malls in my life, and all of them with Alice. My mother and I rarely went shopping, and when we did, her salary usually limited us to thrift shops. Her boyfriends would offer to buy us things, and my mom would give in after a little persuasion, but I refused to take anything from those men. It was bad enough…

I shook my head. My mind had been unstable enough as of late…no need to dwell on something that would make it worse. Regardless, I didn't like accepting things from other people. It was dangerous… accepting gifts. They could be used against you…held over your head. So when we'd been running from James, and Alice had started buying me clothes and toiletries like it was nothing…like the outrageous amounts of money she was spending were nothing, I'd been…shocked. But mostly I'd been amazingly grateful. There was something about Alice, something comforting and kind, something that made me feel like we'd been friends all my life, like she knew exactly how to act, exactly what to say, to keep me calm. Edward had told me that the thing that had finally convinced his family to accept me in the beginning was Alice's vision… a vision that we would be best friends…as close as sisters. I knew for a fact that I could trust her...that I would never be in danger of any kind from her.

"Bella!" I jerked to attention, my lips turning into an involuntary bemused smile at her stance, arms crossed and toe tapping. "I said, gray or black?"

"For what?"

"Have you been listening at all!?" She cried, throwing her arms into the air dramatically, and I couldn't help but laugh a little.

"No. Not really." I grinned apologetically. Her lips twitched and she sighed, relaxing her pose a little.

"These shoes." She gestured toward the display at my elbow. Three pairs of flats, each with delicate stitch-work at the toes, sat on the table, one in black, one in gray, and one in brown.

I ventured a guess. "The brown one?" Alice rolled her eyes.

"They don't match as many of your outfits, and since you seem to want to wear your shoes multiple times, it would be better to get the black or the gray. So?"

"Alice, I…" Her face dared me to tell her that I didn't care. "Gray." She nodded, apparently satisfied, and grabbed a box below the display, finding the shoes in my size in less than a second, and had me sitting on a bench and trying them on before I realized what she was doing.

"Stand up." She ordered, and I did, sighing with resignation. "How do they feel?"

"Fine." I mumbled. It was a lie…they felt wonderful. I'd never worn such comfortable flats in my life…they made my old sneakers feel like cheap flip flops. But I'd never complained about my uncomfortable shoes, so I had no idea if she knew that or not.

"You know, I really don't need shoes." I said for good measure. She stared pointedly at my feet, encased in the same sneakers I'd had since before moving to Forks, and then rolled her eyes, strolling over to look at another display as though my protest wasn't even worth acknowledging.

She looked at a few other shoes while I stuck close by her side, barely even paying attention to the displays, until she finally dragged me to the front of the store. "Alice...you really don't have to buy me these shoes!" I cried when I finally registered the price.

"You're right." She smiled a little, then pushed the purchases into my hand. "You have a credit card, don't you?"

"…Alice…" I tried desperately to think of a reason not to use it, then smiled a little triumphantly. "Yes, but I left it at school with my other stuff." She grinned back, pulling out a piece of paper and jotting down a string of numbers. I didn't get a chance to ask what she was doing since we were next, and after the cashier rang us up for almost two hundred dollars, she placed the piece of paper on the counter.

"Hi. I'm really sorry, but my sister forgot her credit card…could you put in the numbers?" I stared at her incredulously as the bored looking woman sighed and began typing the numbers in.

I glared at Alice until we got out of the store, then grabbed her arm. "Why did you do that?" I snapped.

"What? You haven't used that card since Carlisle gave it to you. You needed new shoes."

"Alice, I did not need new shoes!"

"You're are old and worn out and honestly you could use a pair of tennis shoes tpp…don't look at me like that! Carlisle gave you that card so that you can buy stuff you need!"

"But I don't need…"

"Fine. He gave it to you to buy things you wanted too. So why won't you use it."

"I can't pay him back for those shoes! Or for the other stuff that you make me buy! If you'd let me shop at…"

"Wait, what?" Alice held up a hand in my face, cutting me off.

"If you would let me…"

"No. Not that. You aren't setting foot in…wherever it is you want to go. But…you think you have to pay him back?"

"Well…I need to. I mean…"

Her eyes softened suddenly and her voice gentled. "Bella, Carlisle and Esme don' expect you to pay them back…for anything."

"I know they don't expect it but I can't just spend their money whenever I want."

"Actually…yes you can. I mean, I don't have to tell you not to go crazy. Like…don't buy any private islands…well, ask Carlisle first. We do have a few already." She trailed off at my stunned expression and sighed. "Look, we have plenty of money. I mean it. Plenty. As in, we own multiple houses around the country...and the word for that matter. And you've seen our sports car collection. So I promise you, whatever it is you want or need, we can afford it."

"But why should you?" I cried, crossing my arms. "I can get a job again…and I have some money saved up."

"Not much." She snorted softly, then sobered. "You are a part of our family. What's ours is yours."

It was a strange thought...that Carlisle and Esme wanted me to spend money...that I could buy things that I needed and not feel guilty. I'd never bought myself stuff. I got clothes when mine didn't fit or were worn out...usually I just borrowed Renee's clothes. I bought groceries for the house. But that was it. So...could Alice be right? Was this how families were actually supposed to act. I couldn't argue with her point; they did have an obscene amount of money. I sighed, staring at the bag on her arm, then smiled a little when she linked her arm with mine, a sweet smile lighting up her face. "Come on. You need some new clothes too."

"Alice, I have a whole closetful!" I cried, dragging behind her as she pulled me along.

"Yea, but when we finish building your new closet…" I groaned, finally giving in and laughing when she giggled and pulled me into another store. For a second, I wondered what the elderly mall walkers and the young mothers dragging their toddlers in and out of shops thought of the beautiful chalky pale girl dragging me around the mall…and then Alice was holding up a blouse to me, scrutinizing the color with her nose scrunched. "I know Edward likes blue on you the best, but what do you think of this yellow?" And even though I had been grumbling and groaning and trying to escape the whole time, I suddenly realized that if I could forget about the price tag, this was actually sort of fun. Grinning a little, I decided to give in for the moment. If they were worried about me spending money, I reasoned with myself firmly, then they wouldn't have given me a credit card and let me shop with Alice.

"What about that one?" I winced internally when I saw Alice freeze, her eyes darting over to the rack I was pointing at and staring at the mint-green blouse I was pointing at. For a second, I thought my active participation in this little shopping excursion was going to give her a heart attack, but she only squeaked in excitement and squeezed my hand, then pulled me over to the rack of clothes at what I'm sure was, to her, a leisurely pace.

"Okay, so what about that color, but in this style?"

Jasper glanced up from his book, his eyes trained on the door. He could hear the approach of a car on the drive and instantly recognized the sound of Edward's Volvo. He smiled a little in relief, glad to have Alice home. Of course he knew she wasn't in any danger. His wife could certainly take care of herself, and her visions let her know ahead of time when there was going to be trouble. But he liked being close to her. It made him feel complete, as corny as that sounded in his mind. Edward snorted from the sofa beside him and Jasper grinned at his brother. 'But you feel the same. You can hardly be away from Bella.' Edward sighed, his brief humor forgotten, and Jasper shook his head. 'Don't worry. She's with Alice…she's safe. They're home now, regardless. And Alice is…very happy.' His lips turned up into an involuntary smile when Alice's happiness and excitement washed over him, along with another feeling…a sisterly affection and camaraderie that he hadn't felt from her before. The same emotions were coming from Bella in a lesser degree, and he looked to his now pleased brother for an explanation.

"They went shopping." Jasper rolled his eyes, all too aware of his wife's tendency to go overboard in her favorite pastime.

"Of course they did." He said wryly.

"But…something's different. Oh. Bella had fun." Jasper's eyes widened. It was rare that the word 'fun' could be associated with Bella and shopping…especially Alice's kind of shopping. "Bella enjoyed buying things with Alice…I think she even used her credit card."

Jasper focused on Bella, which was made more difficult by his wife's close proximity and strong emotions, but he managed. She was still anxious…still stressed and worried and a little scared, but the guilt seemed to be…less, as though some of it had been taken away, or maybe forgotten. Bella was mostly happy, and Jasper's heart lightened with relief. He'd missed this side of his sister, the side that didn't overwhelm him with emotional turmoil, worrying him and forcing him to hide his pain so that he didn't worry her more. She felt…lighter.

But as soon as they pulled into the garage, the guilt and anxiety began to return and he sighed, slumping back onto the sofa under the weight of it, then focusing on keeping Edward from realizing what she was feeling.

"What's wrong with her Jasper?"

"I don't know…"

"But why won't you let me see how she's feeling?" Jasper stared at the ceiling rather than at Edward, shaking his head.

"It's not for you to see. I hate invading her privacy like this…but I don't have a choice. The least I can do is protect her secrets, Edward, just like you do with all of us." He hated that he'd slipped, but he also knew that Edward had already known something was wrong with his mate.

"I just want to help her." He mumbled, guilt and defensiveness seeping into his emotions.

"I know you do. So do I. But she isn't ready to be helped. She's trying…it's normal for her to feel the way she feels." He was lying….just a little. It was normal to be anxious and upset after a traumatic event like Bella had experience…he'd been upset and guilty and anxious after leaving Maria…even after meeting Alice. But Bella's emotions moved back and forth, sometimes going into extremes that worried him. That much he was able to block from Edward, but he wondered, for how long? How long could he keep Edward out of his mind when he was so worried about her? Edward jumped up from his seat and nearly ran out the door, and Jasper watched him pull his human love into his arms, his movements meticulously careful as he stroked the back of her hair, kissed her lips, rested his forehead against hers.

Alice strolled into the house, then flashed over to his side, her lips finding his immediately as his arm naturally went around her to pull her close. "Bella had fun." He confirmed after a few minutes of reuniting with his mate.

"She did…" Alice grinned in excitement. "She bought something…and she was laughing and…" Alice sighed, breaking off and just letting him feel her emotions. Jasper closed his eyes, pressing his lips against her head and just soaked them in, experiencing Alice's excitement and joy and relief and hope… "She'll be okay, right?" Alice's voice suddenly sounded so small, and he squeezed her.

"She will. It's going to take time…and we're going to have to get her to open up. But we'll get her through this."

I didn't see Edward come out of the house, or open my door, or even pull me into his arms. Literally one second I was sitting next to Alice, worried about how Carlisle and Esme were going to react, but still aware that my heart felt so much lighter than it had in a week that I was almost afraid to believe it, and then I was on my feet in Edward's arms. And it never failed; every other thought flew from my mind when he kissed me, his hands on my hair and back pulling me closer.

When he finally released me, mostly because I needed to catch my breath, I realized belatedly that Alice was no longer with us. He chuckled at my confused expression, framing my face with his hands. "She went inside. Did you have fun today?" I blushed a little…his tone was a little smug, so he'd obviously already listened to Alice's thoughts.

"Yes. I had fun." I grumbled, feeling my blush intensify, and he laughed aloud. Taking my hand in his, he brought it up to his face, pressing his lips against my wrist and smiling impishly at me.

"I'm glad." But suddenly his smile slipped and he glanced at the glass door leading from the garage to the house. Frowning and looking over at the door, I stared at him questioningly. "Alice is speaking with Carlisle…he wants to speak with you." Jasper must have felt my anxiety spike and signaled Edward somehow, because I was in his arms once again. "Don't be anxious." He whispered. "Carlisle isn't upset. He's just worried. Esme needs to speak to you as well."

I shook my head. He didn't understand. I'd been hiding from Carlisle…keeping my symptoms from him for a few days now. The sickness my anxiety was causing was the worst it had ever been, and since my first day back yesterday, I'd been unable to keep much food down. Even when I did manage it, my stomach would cramp ominously for hours. To hide this, I'd mostly stayed out of his sight, avoiding him to keep him from worrying. Surely he would be angry when he found out. He went through so much trouble to help me and keep me healthy…how could he understand that I couldn't bear doing this to him….to all of them, again and again.

And Esme…I'd shouted at Jessica, calling her a b*tch in front of the woman who was always warning Emmett about his swearing. But not just that….then I'd gone and practically had a breakdown in front of her when she was trying to speak to me. I shuddered to think of how I would have reacted had she called me out in class. As much as I hated worrying them, the thought of making my adopted parents angry with me was unbearable. If they were going to scold me, I knew that I'd break down for real…and the thought terrified me. I needed them to be constantly understanding and loving and know exactly what to say, even if it was unfair of me to expect it from them.

"Okay." I started, looking up at Edward in confusion as he seemed to speak to no one. He scooped me up in his arms then, smiling a little when I squeaked. "Carlisle wants me to take you to his office…are you okay/" I'd stiffened in his arms. I needed to get away…I couldn't talk to Carlisle. He'd figure out how anxious and upset I was…he'd feel bad because I was getting sick and he'd try to help and it wouldn't and he'd get frustrated and give up on me…flashes of memories came then…of the time after Edward had left. Charlie had tried to help…he'd talked to me and ignored me and threatened to take me to the doctor and yelled and then finally called Renee…I had no idea what she'd planned to do, but more than once I'd heard him whisper the words 'professional help' and 'committed.'

"Bella, stop. Calm down, Bella. Breathe." Edward commanded, his arms tightening around me as he held me to his chest. "Come on, love. Please…" The rest of his words were drowned out by a door slamming. Closing my eyes, I ducked my head and tried to hide in his arms, tears leaking from my eyes as I fought back panic and frustration with myself.

'Stupid, stupid. Why are you doing this? Calm down! It's Carlisle! He wouldn't send you away! Stop overreacting! Why do I feel like this?'

"What's going on?"

"I don't know! She was fine…" Control of my emotions seemed to slip away, and then I was calm, my head resting on Edward's shoulder. "I just said that Carlisle wanted to talk to her…what?"

"It terrified her, whatever it was." I heard Jasper say quietly. "What does Carlisle want to talk about?"

"Her eating habits I believe. She's been getting sick a lot lately, and she can't keep much food down. She's tried to hide it, but Alice noticed it first, and she told Carlisle. And Carlisle and Esme both want to speak to her about what happened today in class…"

"You know…that girl is a two-faced b*tch." Edward chuckled softly, the sound tense as he cradled me closer and moved into the house. My eyes drifted shut while he spoke.

"She is." He agreed. "I've never liked her. But Esme has to punish Bella…she yelled at the girl in front of a teacher. It will set a bad example…not to mention make life harder for Bella, if Esme plays favorites. She'll probably hold Bella after school tomorrow to make it look like she's being punished." He kissed my temple softly, but I barely noticed. I hated it when Jasper did this (in a vague, unfocused way)…keeping m so calm I felt like I was drugged, but I was also grateful. I knew that there was something wrong, and so did he. Something about my emotions…they were too strong sometimes. I couldn't cope with them. So Jasper took them away, leaving me relaxed. But it didn't help me cope with them when he released me from the strange numbness. On the other hand, I felt like my day with Alice had helped. We'd had fun, and for a few hours, I'd felt almost normal again. It was like last night when I'd played around with Emmett. If I could just distract myself from the pain I felt…then maybe it would go away. Or stay hidden.

"She's' not sleeping very well." Jasper's voice floated somewhere above me while I was placed on a comfortable surface, a blanket pulled over me. Someone else spoke, but as though Jasper knew how much I hated being completely out of the loop, he kept his voice at a normal level. "Yea, the nightmares are taking their toll on her. Not to mention the fact that she's not getting enough food."

"Is it getting that bad?" Edward's voice was anxious and a soft soothing voice answered, but I was slipping away.

"Let her sleep for a little while. I'll keep her calm."

"Jasper…" Edward spoke in an almost silent voice to our brother.

"I don't mind." Jasper assured him, his cold hand resting on my face for a second. "It'll help her sleep."

I woke abruptly, confused for a second before I realized that I was still tired, it was dark out, and the room was empty. Or…it felt empty. I couldn't hear anyone else, and no one was touching me. Sitting up, I looked around, squiring in the darkness. "Hello?"

"Hello, Bella." Carlisle seemed amused, and a dim light was switched on, revealing his silhouette at his desk, a thick book out in front of him. "I didn't want to wake you, but I didn't want you to wake alone." Sometimes the consideration of my family seemed to wash over me anew. This was one of those times, and I wiped at my eyes quickly. He watched me carefully, standing and moving to my side and putting a hand on my back, his movements slow enough for me to track, yet too quick for a human.

"How long have I been asleep?" My voice was rough and I cleared my throat.

"Only an hour or so. The others are downstairs." I realized that it was so dark because the curtains were drawn, blocking the only light source, and that around the edges of the curtains it was still daylight. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine." I answered automatically, flinching when he narrowed his eyes.

"I'm going to have to forbid you to use that word. You are not fine." He asserted softly, his gentle hand on my back taking the sting from his words. "You do not have to tell me exactly what is wrong, Bella. I certainly won't force you to talk to me. But please, don't lie to me." I swallowed hard, trying not to cry, telling myself that I was being ridiculous, that he hadn't yelled or snapped at me or even said anything harsh. He'd just asked me not to lie. But I could hear the disapproval in his voice and it just added to my fear that it would be too much for him and that he'd give up and I clutched his sleeve in my hand, wishing that I could bring myself to jump into his arms uninvited.

I don't know how he picked up on it…maybe he was a mind reader and just never told anyone, but he opened his arms then, pulling me close and holding me while I shook. "Sh, it's okay. I know you're upset, sweetheart. I'm not angry." He wiped at my eyes, kissing my temple. "Can you tell me why you didn't tell me that you were sick?" I bit my lip again, wincing at the soreness from earlier, but not caring. The dull pain that soon sharpened as my teeth ripped at the skin made it easier to focus, and I took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry." I managed, refusing to meet his eyes. He must have realized that it made talking easier and didn't try to make me look at him.

"What on earth do you have to be sorry for?" He wondered, rubbing my back, and I focused on the constant motion, letting it anchor me.

"I'm still not better." I mumbled, biting my lip again when the tears threatened to fall. Sighing deeply, Carlisle tucked my head under his chin, rocking me back and forth.

"Oh, sweetheart." He mumbled, shaking his head. "We definitely need to talk."


	8. Chapter 8

Carlisle tightened his arms around his little girl…his youngest daughter, tucking her head under his chin as she continued to tremble, able to feel her tears soak into his shirt. He wanted to comfort her, to say something that would ease her pain, but he had no idea what he could say. Not when she was under such a ludicrous impression…that she needed to apologize for 'still not being better.' He thought about prompting her, asking her what was wrong…asking her to explain herself, but she took a deep breath and fisted her hand in his shirt. "Charlie was going to send me away." She sobbed. "He called Renee…they wanted to take me to a hospital…he said…" She broke off, crying painfully, the sound ripping at his heart. Rubbing her back, he silently held her, waiting for her to gather herself enough so that she could speak. "He said I might…have to be…committed." She managed to choke out, and he was glad that she couldn't see his face.

'The idiot! How could he let his hurting 18 year old daughter think he was going to have her committed!? Did he think that would fix anything? He only traumatized her!' "I will not send you away, Bella. I promise. Nothing you can do will make me send you away, sweetheart. You are not insane, Bella, despite the fact that you choose to live with a family of vampires." He heard her laugh a little through her tears and smiled. "If at any point I think you need any kind of help, medicine, therapy, it will go through me, and I will be there, as will the rest of us. We won't leave you, Bella. You don't have to pretend to be better." She began crying anew, but her body relaxed and the shaking stopped as she leaned against him fully. Glad that she was finally able to relax without Jasper's help, he pulled her into his lap and held her for a while, leaning back and letting her cry.

A few minutes later, Esme peered in to the room. "Is she okay?" She asked, her worried voice far too low for Bella to hear.

"She's calming down." He told her just as quietly, smiling in relief when Bella took a shuddering breath, her forehead coming to rest on his chest. "Okay, Bella?" He asked softly. The girl nodded, taking another shuddering breath, then forced a smile, looking up at him.

"Thanks." She mumbled a little sheepishly. He leaned forward, pressing his lips against her forehead and letting himself enjoy her warmth for a second. Then pulling away, he carefully placed her back on the sofa and took her hand.

"Bella, Alice told me that you were having trouble with your stomach…that you were getting sick after eating." She nodded, refusing to meet his eyes. "How long has this been going on?" She bit her lip, and one of her hands clutched her leg briefly.

"It started getting bad yesterday. I couldn't eat much for breakfast and I threw up after lunch." Carlisle sighed, rubbing his thumb against the back of her hand.

"Have you eaten today?"

"Yes." She mumbled, but seemed to rethink her answer at his expectant look. "Esme made me breakfast, but I didn't really eat much. Alice tried to buy me food at the mall, but I only hate a few bites." He thought quickly, his mind scrolling through a list of symptoms and cures and medicines, his brain a database that most hospitals would kill for.

"Okay. I checked your blood less than a week ago, so I doubt anything has changed. I think this sickness you are feeling is caused by anxiety. It's fairly common, but I'm afraid there isn't much I can do unless I resort to medicine to control your anxiety…and I'd rather leave that as a last resort. That kind of medication can have unpleasant side effects, and I don't feel comfortable using it at this point. If it is ever necessary, Jasper is able and willing to help you with your emotions." He touched her face, lifting her chin so that she was looking at him. "Instead, I want you to talk." He said quietly.

She opened her mouth, ready to argue, he was sure, or claim that she couldn't, but he stopped her, squeezing her hand again. "Not to me, if you don't want to, although I'm here for you any time you want to talk. You can talk to whoever you want…Esme, Jasper, Edward, Emmett, either of the girls. Any of them would be more than willing to listen. And if you can't talk to them, then write. Journaling is a good way to get your thoughts out in a healthy way. But you can't bury everything like you have been. It's going to make you sick."

"What if I can't?" She asked softly, her fearful tone making him react instinctively, pulling her close again and kissing the top of her head.

"You can." He promised. "And we'll help you for as long as you need it. There's no timeline on this, Bella." Esme walked over from the doorway and sat on the sofa beside her, and Bella turned and put her head in her hands.

"I'm sorry, Mom! I didn't mean to yell at her in class, I'm so sorry!"

"Bella, shh, it's okay." Esme pulled her into her arms and Carlisle moved closer, wrapping his arms around both of them. "I'm not happy that you acted in such a way, Bella, especially in the middle of a classroom. Mostly because I'll have to punish you…it would only cause more trouble if I let that go. But I'm not angry with you, honey. I understand."

Bella began to shake again as she cried and Carlisle pulled back. "What's wrong Bella? Talk to us." He pleaded, not wanting to call Jasper to take her emotions away, but also not wanting her to make herself sick with them.

"You're not mad." She whimpered, keeping her face hidden. "I got in trouble in school….and ditched school…with Alice…" She sobbed, her breath coming in pants. "And I spent money, and you…"

"How would Renee have reacted, Bella?" He asked quietly. He hated to admit it, but it worried him, the reaction she'd obviously been expecting. 'Surely her mother wouldn't have been able to hide it…if she'd been abusive on top of neglectful.'

"She'd have yelled…and I wasn't supposed to spend money…we didn't have much. She'd get upset…"

"And Charlie?" Esme asked quietly.

"He'd be mad too…he'd ground me…yell a lot." Carlisle let out a little sigh of relief. None of that was abusive…well, her mother certainly hadn't helped matters, but at least she'd never hit the girl.

Jasper was as still as a statue, his eyes closed as he monitored the emotions upstairs, his arms wrapped around Alice who sat in his lap. Edward sat tensely beside him, looking as though he was missing his other half, his eyes darting to the ceiling occasionally as if he were going to jump up and get Bella at any second. Emmett stood in the doorway, and Rosalie was out in the garage, tampering with her car again...or pretending to. But Jasper knew that wasn't out of callousness. Rosalie was as worried as the rest of them…she just needed to distract herself.

His little sister was talking to them. Just a little…just about Charlie and Renee…and a little about Phil...mostly the way he'd treated her after coming to live with her and her mother. But at least she was talking! The pain and anxiety she'd been burying was finally starting to come to the surface, and he was relieved. But it was hard for her…talking to them, even though she felt the same or more affection for them that children usually felt for their parents. It was hard for her to trust people…to open up to them in any way. She'd fallen in love with Edward, and that made it easier for her to talk to him. He certainly never gave her any reason to be self conscious or anxious. But her experience with her parents had all but traumatized her.

Emmett was confused. Looking up at his large brother, he lifted an eyebrow. They weren't mind readers like Edward, but they could communicate silently when they wanted to. "She wasn't supposed to spend money?"

"I think her mother's irresponsibility extended to money." Jasper answered softly. "Not to mention she was a single mother working off of a teacher's salary. I don't think Bella was allowed to buy herself things…or, rather, her mother worried about money and made Bella anxious about buying things. I wouldn't be surprised if she had to help her mother with the finances…paying bills, balancing the checkbook…at least from the way she talks. I know she did the grocery shopping." Emmett's confusion turned quickly to irritation, and then anger.

"She was worried about using her credit card because she said she could never afford to pay Carlisle and Esme back." Alice told them quietly. Edward shifted in his seat, then stilled again, still staring at the ceiling.

"Do you see anything, Alice?"

The short haired girl in Jasper's lap sighed at her brother's question. "It's blurry. She's so indecisive." There was a note of irritation in her voice. "She may open up to one of us. She may just write it down. Then again, she might keep burying it. She's scared to deal with it. I think the way Charlie dealt with her…after we left…" They all flinched in pain at that memory, Edward especially. "…I think it hurt her more than he knew. She said he mentioned having her committed…she was so scared that he would send her away that she buried everything and tried to pretend to be fine…and on some level, she thinks that if doesn't recover from all this quickly enough that Carlisle will send her away." Edward dropped his head into his hands and Jasper winced at his anguish.

"The vision you had last night?" Emmett inquired softly.

"Gone."

"How bad was it, Aly?" His voice was almost pained.

"Carlisle had to change her…I don't even know if it worked. She was dying."

"How?" Edward choked out.

"I couldn't tell…hit by a car maybe? It seemed like her chest was crushed...it could have been anything honestly."

"Da*n fragile humans." Emmett crossed his arms tightly and looked up at the ceiling, his emotions swinging back and forth between pain and fear, things Jasper so rarely felt from his largest brother.

"Are they done?" He asked his wife softly.

"I think so. Carlisle won't ask her anything else, and Esme's not going to try to push her."

"So what do we do?"

"Act normal." She said wryly. Jasper grinned a little, kissing her cheek.

After making me promise to tell him if I started feeling sick, Carlisle sent me downstairs with Esme, who was determined to make me food. He advised her to make something light, and she finally decided on chicken noodle soup, which sounded fine to me. When we stepped into the living room, everyone minus Rosalie was sitting on the sofa. Emmett stared at the nightly news anchor with a single-minded determination that he usually reserved for advanced games of chess with Jasper, who sat beside him and read a thick book that looked to be about human anatomy. Alice lay on her back, her head in Jasper's lap, a small tablet in her hand that she seemed to be doing a project on, as her hands were constantly touching the screen…or maybe she was playing a video game.

Only Edward seemed to notice my arrival downstairs, and before I knew it I was back in his arms, his hands running through my hair and touching my face in almost panicked motions. "What's wrong? Are you okay?" I asked softly, catching his hand in worry. He forced out a laugh.

"I'm fine. I was wondering the same about you." He mumbled, his forehead resting against mine.

"I'm…" I trailed off at his warning look. "…okay." I tried. He rolled his eyes but didn't argue, choosing instead to pull me close and hold me again.

"Come on." He scooped me into his arms and moved to go back up the stairs. "It's going to take Esme a little bit to make that soup from scratch."

"She knows that you can get in in a can, right?" He laughed loudly as he stepped into our bedroom, then sat me down on the bed, moving to sit beside me.

"She enjoys cooking homemade food for you." He touched my face, gently moving a piece of hair behind my ear. "We all do, actually. Even Emmett…he's not very good though…at least I don't think so." He laughed again when I made a face. "That's what I thought. It's kind of you to eat it though. He appreciates it." He looked at me for a moment, then glanced at the closed door. "Bella…we could all hear your conversation with Carlisle." His voice was apologetic, but I snorted.

"Yea, I figured. You guys can all hear everything that goes on in this house, can't you."

"Pretty much." His smile was relieved, but it didn't linger. "Bella…you don't have to talk to me about this. I wish you would, but you don't have to. Like Carlisle said, you can talk to anyone…or just write it down. No one would read anything that belonged to you, I can promise you that…" He trailed off, his worried eyes meeting mine, and I began to waver.

I would have loved to talk to him…honestly I could see myself talking to any of them, about how much the rumors were hurting me, about how Lauren made me feel sick and anxious whenever I saw her…how I worried that the bullying was going to escalate as more people jumped on the wagon. I wanted to tell him that I still had nightmares about Jeremy and Mark, and about my mother, and about everyone I loved being shot in front of me while the rest of my family abandoned me. I wanted to tell him that I was so guilty still because I was causing them trouble and that this only made me more anxious and that the anxiety made me sick and then I felt more guilty. Most of all, I wanted to hear him tell me that he'd never leave, so I settled for just that. "Please stay." I leaned my head against his shoulder, totally aware that I was making myself completely vulnerable, that I was trusting him with this ridiculous insecurity I still felt, and that there was a chance he would be repulsed by it. "Please don't leave me." He didn't hesitate, his arms winding around me, pulling my head up so that he could kiss me, my lips, my cheek, my nose…down my neck where I couldn't even imagine the restraint he had to use.

"Never. I will never leave you." He promised, his voice passionate enough to placate me for the moment, and i felt myself calming, relaxing in his cold arms as he held me,

Rosalie looked up when Bella entered the garage, the girl's scent growing stronger in the enclosed space. The girl was obviously surprised to find her leaning against the hood of the car, he hands clasped tightly. But she'd been like that since arriving home and racing into the garage, pretending that she needed to work on her car. Of course Edward knew the truth, and Jasper could probably feel it as well, but both were good about keeping everyone's secrets. She'd been increasingly worried about her human sister, something that surprised her as much as it seemed to surprise Bella. She had never dreamed that she could care about a human girl, much less the human girl that, when they'd first met, seemed to bring only trouble.

But now, after seeing the girl shot and forced to relive such horrible events through nightmares every night…after learning that she'd been assaulted in such a terrible way when she was a child…after holding her in her arms on the bathroom floor when she'd been so weak and dizzy that she'd nearly collapsed…she couldn't help but care for her. Bella had been surprisingly gracious about Rosalie's apologies; much more gracious than Rosalie knew she deserved, and now the girl was hurting so badly…the vampire had no idea how the human was able to stand it all. And then she'd listened a few hours ago as Alice had described her vision; a vision of Bella being so severely injured that Carlisle's attempt to save her might not even work…she vowed that that would not be her sister's fate. She wouldn't go through that. The thought of losing the girl now…of how that loss would affect now only Edward, who loved her more than his own life, but the others; Carlisle and Esme who thought of her as their youngest daughter and loved caring for her, Alice who loved the girl more dearly than Rosalie would have thought possible, and Jasper and Emmett…both so happy to have a new little sister to tease and play with and protect…the thought was unbearable. Rosalie could see now, although she hadn't been able to at first, that Bella was the final piece of their family, whether or not her choices were ones that Rose herself would make.

"Are you okay?" Bella crossed her arms and looked around a little nervously. "Edward said you were fixing your car?"

"Not fixing." Rosalie grinned a little, straightening. "I was going to work on the engine…maybe tune it up again." Bella looked completely lost and Rosalie laughed, stepping forward and throwing a familiar arm around her shoulders. "Come on. I'll show you."


	9. Chapter 9

"So these are the spark plugs." I looked at the little metal screw thingies that Rosalie was holding and nodded, trying to figure out what a spark plug did as we leaned over her beautiful red car. Pulling out a red matching toolbox (I wondered if she did that on purpose), the blonde unhinged one side and revealed a set of complicated looking tools. "If you're ever doing this on your own, make sure to wait a while before touching them because they're really hot after you run your car." She looked at me for a long minute, then rolled her eyes with a wry smile. "Actually, don't ever do this on your own... I'll just take care of it." I laughed a little at her martyred expression, knowing how she enjoyed working on the cars. Leaning over the hood of the car where she was working, I watched as she began to place the new spark plugs inside of the tube end of a complicated looking tool I'd seen before but couldn't name. "So, that Lauren girl is a real b*tch." I started, turning to look at Rosalie, but she was concentrating on the engine.

"Yea…she kind of always has been."

"Trust me, I know." She told the engine. "She's been spreading rumors about our family since we moved here. So, the spark plug is important because it's what ignites the fuel and the air for the combustion part of 'combustion engine'…" I grinned at what I was sure was a dumbed down explanation. "Hold this." I didn't even glance down at the tool in my hand as she began to carefully remove the caps covering the spark plugs. "But there are people like her everywhere." She said thoughtfully, her hands pausing for a second. "There always will be…people who are just cruel."

I was silent for a minute, then made my decision. "But what can you do about it?" She didn't look up from her task as she dropped the caps into my hands.

"Well, we usually ignore them. Um…set those on the toolbox." I did as she asked. "They usually get bored after a while, and they forget about us. But I'll give her one thing…she doesn't give up. Why does she hate you so much anyway?" Rosalie asked casually, and I shrugged, staring down at my now dirty hands.

"I don't know. She didn't like me much when I got here. Then when Tyler wanted me to ask him to the dance it didn't help. But now…" I trailed off with a sigh. "I don't know anymore."

"So usually you use tape to mark which wires go to which spark plugs, but I don't need to." I smiled a little at her gloating. "And make sure you pull from the caps so you don't break any wires. Come on." She pointed to the last one and I reached in, copying what I'd seen her do until the spark plug cap came loose…it was harder than she'd made it look. "Then we're going to clean the space around them." She handed me a little brush and we began to clean. "Did you have fun shopping? I'll bet it was better than sitting through Calculus." She shuddered. "Just wait until you've taken the stupid class a hundred times."

"It isn't so bad when Esme's teaching." I pointed out, and she shrugged.

"I suppose." She allowed. "But usually you've got some boring old guy…or worse, an overly enthusiastic grad school kid who just wants to inspire us with the power of math." I laughed aloud, scrubbing at a particularly stubborn bit of grease.

"Like Mr. Mark?"

"Oh God." She almost gagged. "I almost killed him the first day when he had us introduce ourselves and tell him one thing we were 'excited about learning in his class'…I kind of wish I had killed him. It would have been worth it." I smirked.

"I thought Jasper was going to start crying when he started on the Civil War. I wonder what he would do if he saw a picture of Major Jasper Whitlock in his book."

Rosalie snorted. "He'd probably think he was going crazy. Humans would rather believe anything than the truth, even if it's right in front of them." She looked at me for a long moment, then took the brush and threw it in the toolbox. "Right. Next, take the socket wrench…"

"The turney one with the tube on the end?" She stared at me incredulously for a long moment then snorted.

"Yea…that one." She laughed. I reached over and picked it up. "So you take the socket wrench and attach the spark plug socket. Lefty loosey, rightly tighty." She moved the little dial on the back to the left and began to loosen the spark plugs. "Has she done anything besides spreading rumors about you?" Rosalie wondered.

"No…"

"But that's enough, isn't it? Words hurt the most, anyone with a brain knows that." She said wryly, handing me the socket wrench and pointing at the next spark plug. "But if she ever…no, use your fingers when it's that loose…the wrench doesn't work as well when…yea, there you go. If she ever does anything more, then she'll have me to deal with." She promised grimly. "Unfortunately, ripping out her vocal cords is not a 'viable option' as it would 'cause problems' for our family and is 'a bit excessive.'" She used air quotes, rolling her eyes as she imitated Carlisle's voice and I had to laugh, wondering if he could hear her.

"I don't care what Lauren thinks of me. I just…I wish everyone else wouldn't be so quick to join in." I mumbled, my smile fading, and she crossed her arms, leaning her hip against the car. "Jessica and Mike…they were nice enough when I moved here. And now…the stuff they're saying…about Emmett and Jasper…" She turned back to the car, replacing the caps and moving the wires around, pulling me over to watch as I spoke. "I guess Carlisle knows…"

"He knows about the rumors…everyone does." She spoke bluntly. "Even about the worst ones."

"When Lauren said…about Carlisle…when she asked…" I suddenly felt my stomach clench again and Rosalie was holding me up, one arm around my waist and the other on my cheek.

"Whatever filth that girl is spewing is not even worth repeating, Bella, and Carlisle knows that. No one worth our times cares or believes anything Lauren Malloy says. Don't think for a second that we're hurt by her lies. We're only worried about her hurting you." Her voice was passionate, but it never rose about a murmur.

"But I don't want to worry you…any of you!" I cried.

"And that's why you're pretending to be okay. I get it." She told me simply, squeezing my shoulder as she hesitantly let me stand on my own. "But Bella, you're hurting yourself when you suppress everything, and we won't let anything hurt you…not even you."

"But what can I do?" I barely spoke above a desperate whisper, even though I knew that everyone could probably hear.

"You can talk to us when something's wrong. You can know that you're safe…that we won't let anything happen to you. And if it gets too bad, then you can always stay home. I'm sure Carlisle and Esme have offered to homeschool you."

I nodded a little. I could hardly believe it, but I felt better. I knew that I wouldn't be able to stay home from school…that I couldn't ask Esme to teach me at home. But what Rosalie was saying…what they were all saying, was that I could come to them. They were there if I needed them…not out of obligation or politeness…because for some reason or another, they all loved me.

I scrubbed the grease off of my hands at the garage sink beside Rosalie, who somehow managed to get all of the grease out from under her nails before I'd even finished washing my hands. She grinned at my exasperated look, wiping her hands on a towel, then glanced up when the garage door was thrown open. "Aren't you done yet, Rose? I thought we…oh no. You didn't have Bella do it, did you? The car's probably going to explode the next time you start it." Emmett chuckled at his own joke, ruffling my hair and ignoring me when I stuck his tongue out at him.

"I was showing her how to change the spark plugs." Rosalie shrugged, smiling a little when he kissed her cheek, his arms going around her. "She did a pretty good job…she's pretty good with the 'turney thing with the tube on the end.'" Before Rosalie could respond to Emmett's blank expression, I hurried out of the garage, but not before I was nearly knocked over by his roar of laughter. Shutting the door to the garage firmly behind me, I nearly ran into Alice who was smiling a little smugly.

"Um…hey Alice."

"Hi Bella! Are you ready for Calculus?" I cocked my head, frowning a little in confusion. "Esme's orders…since you skipped class today…and since I did too, we have extra homework to finish."

"You haven't finished your homework yet?"

"My extra homework is to help you with yours." She shrugged, making it obvious that this didn't bother her in the least. Leading me up the stairs, she stepped into her bedroom, the little table in the corner already holding my books. "Emmett was going to try and distract us if we stayed downstairs. He got a new video game." She perched on one of the chairs, gesturing for me to join her, and I did, sighing as I looked at the note in Esme's perfect handwriting that, like Carlisle's, seemed to come from another decade.

'Bella, I saw that you haven't finished the problem sets on page 394. I'll give you until tomorrow to complete them, as well as the homework from tonight, page 397, problem sets 1-15c. Alice will help you if you need it. I would also like an essay on my desk tomorrow on the importance of keeping your temper in public.' I slouched in my seat, staring petulantly at the thick book.

"You'd better get started. And she warned me that I wasn't allowed to do them for you…sorry." Alice handed me a calculator and a pencil. "I'll check them for you though, if you want."

"Thanks Alice." I mumbled, dating the top of the page and picking up where I'd left off the night before. If Alice noticed the tearstained pages that the problems were on, she didn't comment. "Is Esme angry with me?" I asked tentatively. I'd spoken to her earlier and she'd seemed pretty understanding, but her note made it seem as though I was being punished…

"No. Not angry. She has to punish you though…if she lets you get by with anything in class, it'll make everyone accuse her of playing favorites, and you're getting enough negative attention at that school. Not to mention, you did lose your temper in class." I stared at her incredulously, pausing in the middle of a problem set. "What? You did! Bella, Jessica is terrible. We all know that. And we have all entertained violent fantasies about ending her life at some point or another…okay maybe not Carlisle or Esme…but the rest of us have. But we never break school rules or make a scene in public if we can help it. That's part of being a Cullen…to the public eye, we're nearly perfectly behaved...if a little reclusive...teenagers. We can't afford to have anyone investigating our family too closely." She reached out and caught my hand. "You're not really in trouble Bella. We all understand, and honestly we're proud of you for standing up to her. But the way you did it wasn't wise. You have to be careful about choosing your battles…or rather, choosing their location." She squeezed my hand, then let go, gesturing to the paper.

I felt like my hand was going to fall off. Groaning and resting my head in my hands, I let the pen fall onto the table. About an hour and a half into the problems, Jasper had come up to check on us, and I'd urged Alice to go with him to do whatever it was they did when they were alone…I chose not to dwell on it too much. After kissing me on the cheek and promising to check my work when I was sleeping, Alice danced away with her husband, who'd kissed the top of my head and squeezed my shoulder before leaving me alone. It had only taken me thirty more minutes to finish the calculus problems, and then I started the essay, trying to neaten my usual messy handwriting.

"Still working?" I smiled a little at Emmett's cheerful question and even with my eyes closed, I could imagine him standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame and smirking at me.

"Just finished." I mumbled, keeping my eyes closed and my head on the table, belatedly realizing that I was still in Alice and Jasper's room and wondering where they'd run off to. I could have gone to my study…I felt bad for not offering, but then let it go. I had enough to feel guilty about…Alice obviously didn't mind. "What time is it?" I wondered.

"Nearly ten." I started to respond, but decided that it was too much effort and just relaxed. Chuckling softly, he came over and I heard rustling papers. "You know, your bedroom is a few doors down." He reminded me, pausing to tug on a lock of my hair.

"Mmhm."

"And I'm not an expert on humans…or sleeping, but I've heard that you tend to sleep better when you're in a dark comfortable place."

"Mmm." He snorted and the rustling stopped.

"So would I be correct in assuming that a bed is more comfortable than this table?" He shook my shoulder a little when I didn't answer and I groaned.

"'mett…" I whined, tucking my head into my arms. "Go away." He chuckled, the sound gentler than before, and before I could ask him to turn out the lights on his way out, I was pulled into his arms. Wincing when the light hit my eyes, I hid my face in his neck as he held me to his chest, one arm under my knees and the other around my back, his hand resting on my head. He mumbled something about needy humans before the lights went out and we were moving.

"Here. I found this in Alice's room. You want it?" I yawned, curling tighter in his arms, then squeaking when he dropped me onto a bed, not quite catching the low murmur that answered him. "I can't imagine why. It sure is a lot of trouble." His teasing words were negated by the blankets he pulled over me, tucking me in gently until I was warm and comfortable, and his lips on my forehead. "Night Bella." He whispered against my skin.

"Thanks Emmett." I murmured, turning on my side and happily finding myself in another pair of familiar cold arms. "Love you." There was a soft intake of breath…or maybe I imagined it, like I imagined that his voice somehow sounded rougher when he answered me.

"I love you too, little sister."


	10. Chapter 10

"Bella? Wake up, love." I rolled over, hiding from the voice, and burrowed deeper into the warm, thick covers, avoiding the cold hands that would surely find me. The voice chuckled, and a hand rested on my shoulder over top of the comforter. "Bella, you have to get ready for school." I groaned. Although I didn't remember waking up any time during the night, nor did I remember any nightmares, I was still exhausted. "Are you okay?" The covers were gently pulled away from my head and he touched my cheek. "Bella? Do you feel alright?" I sighed. I didn't want to make him worry, no matter how tired I was.

"M'fine." I mumbled, forcing my eyes open. He smiled a little, smoothing my hair. "Tired." He kissed my cheek.

"Do you want to stay home today?" I glared at the hope in his voice, sitting up and shaking my head.

"No." I said shortly. "What time is it?"

"Six-thirty. You've got a half hour to get ready and eat something." I grimaced at the thought of food, but knew better than to protest. Although I had no idea why I'd been waking up feeling sick for the last two days, I wasn't about to worry them even more…

'That's exactly what Carlisle would want to know.' I told myself sternly, remembering his disappointed expression from the day before when I'd tried to lie to him. But the thought of going up to Carlisle and admitting to feeling sick…honestly it made me feel even worse. 'Why should I worry him even more? Is it even important? Will he want to know, really? Or will he just tell me that I'm probably still feeling anxious? Can he even do anything about it? He said I needed to eat more though…'

"What are you thinking so hard about?" Edward asked, his voice tender as he cupped my cheek, the familiar edge of frustration in his voice. It still bothered him that he couldn't read my mind, and I had to smile a little.

"Nothing…is Carlisle home today?"

"Yes. He and Esme hunted last night, and he has today off, so he'll be home all day. Why?"

"No reason." I mumbled, deciding that I would at least try to eat, and if I couldn't, then I would tell him. I moved away from Edward, standing and stretching a little while he watched, his eyes following my movements. "What?" I asked, amused as I grabbed a pair of jeans.

"Nothing." He grinned, standing and leaving the room. "I'll be downstairs when you're ready." He promised, then shut the door behind him.

Throwing on my jeans and a t-shirt, I ran a brush through my hair, glad that the action didn't cause my shoulder any kind of pain, and threw it into a ponytail. Not bothering with any of the make up that Alice had discreetly placed throughout my bathroom, I shut our bedroom door behind me as I made my way downstairs to join him.

Breakfast was a small pile of eggs and two pieces of toast and as soon as the smell hit my, my stomach rebelled. Clenching my jaw, I gripped the counter. "Bella?" Edward was the only other one in the kitchen, since everyone knew that I felt uncomfortable when they all watched me eat, but his tone had Jasper and Emmett peeking in at the doorway.

"Sorry." I mumbled, not wanted him to be offended. I knew that it was harder for them to cook than for humans…since they couldn't taste the food and it all smelled bad to them, but he was a great cook, and I'm sure the food would have been wonderful had I not felt like I was going to throw up.

"Why? What's wrong?" He had his hands on my shoulders and I sighed.

"I've woken up feeling sick for the last few days." I glared at the floor, not wanted to see his worried or scared or anxious or frustrated…well whatever look would be on his face, I didn't want to see it. "I didn't want to tell you." He sighed, pulling me close and resting his cheek on my head.

"Have you told Carlisle?"

"No." I spun at his voice, and met Carlisle's grim eyes. "But I'm glad you have now." He smiled a little, reaching over and kissing my forehead. "Unfortunately, there isn't much I can do…I think it's just anxiety. The only thing, apart from medicine, would be to have Jasper with you every time you tried to eat…" I shook my head firmly. I wasn't doing that to Jasper…I wasn't going to make him hold my hand every second so that I could keep calm…it wasn't fair to him. He had a life of his own. "No, I don't want to do that either."

"I don't mind." Jasper put in from the doorway, his anxious eyes on his father.

"I know you don't." Carlisle smiled at him. "But if she gets too dependent on that…"

"She can't even eat, Carlisle."

"She's standing right here." I grumbled a little snappishly, and Jasper laughed aloud, flitting to my side and kissed my temple, pulling me into a one armed hug.

"Sorry." He grinned. "You're right. But I wish you'd let me help." He glanced back up at Carlisle.  
"Jasper, it's not fair to you." I said quietly. He frowned, turning to look into my eyes, both hands on my shoulders.

"Bella, I said that I didn't care to help. I want to." The fact that he didn't threaten to do it without my consent made me feel another wave of love and gratitude toward my brother who gave a surprised smile in response. He didn't know why I was feeling the way I was, but he could certainly feel my love for him, and my gratitude.

Carlisle stepped in, putting a hand on my back to get my attention. "You need to leave soon…here." He dropped a granola bar into my hand. "Take this with you, and eat it as soon as you feel better. If you're still sick by lunch, tell Jasper. Okay?" I nodded reluctantly, tucking the snack into my backpack. "I mean it Bella." He said firmly. "You need to eat."

I nodded again, and I guess he knew that I meant it this time, because he smiled a little, reaching out and squeezing my arm. "Call if you need anything." He told me quietly, then nodded to the others with a smirk. "Have fun at school." They all groaned or rolled their eyes, making it abundantly clear that what they thought of high school, and Edward put his arm around me, leading me to the car.

Once again, my attempts to pay strict attention in class failed, but I was able to distract myself well enough throughout English and History. Halfway through another Civil War battle, I caught Jasper eyeing me, and decided to try the granola bar, managing to eat about half of it, picking at the nuts and raisins, before I could no longer stomach the food. Tucking it back in my bag, I ignored Edward and Jasper who were staring at me and went back to taking notes that I would never read about the Civil War.

Jessica glanced up when I entered the room, but before I could reach my seat, Esme was beckoning me forward. I walked up to the front of the classroom, giving her a hesitant smile that she didn't return, and instantly I realized that she was going to punish me now. "Do you have the extra homework?" She asked in a voice just loud enough for a few people in the front to hear. I felt blood rise to my cheeks against my will. Reaching into my backpack, I smiled when I realized that Emmett had put all my papers in the correct folders. Silently I handed over the math problems. "And the essay?"

"Yes ma'am." I said quietly, not having to pretend to be sorry. I'd put Esme in this position…she had every right to feel upset with me.

"Bella, I don't think I have to tell you not to make me do this again." I nodded, catching her meaning easily. "Good. And this afternoon, you'll be staying after school with me for detention. Understood?"

"Yes ma'am." She sighed, her eyes softening, and I caught a glimpse of her pained expression, knowing how much she hated doing this to me, and had to fight the urge to throw my arms around her. "I'm sorry." I added quietly, and her teeth caught her bottom lip for a moment.

"I know. Take a seat, Bella." I lowered my eyes and sat down beside Jessica who glanced at me from the corner of her eye.

"Bella…" She started to whisper, but Esme began speaking, eyeing her sternly, and instructing us to open our books and for the rest of the class to pass up their homework.

As soon as class was over, Jessica turned to me, catching my sleeve. Sighing I stared at her, lifting an eyebrow. "What?" I demanded.

"Bella, I'm…I mean, I didn't…"

"Don't worry about it." I told her flatly, pulling away and starting to stand.

"Bella! I'm sorry, okay! I know Lauren's being a b…" She glanced up at Esme and flinched. "Um, I know Lauren's being awful to you. I shouldn't have…you know." She trailed off, looking uncomfortable, and I shrugged.

"I said don't worry about it." She bit her lip and put her hands in her lap awkwardly.

"Yea…okay." Standing, she put her backpack on and headed for the door, glancing back at me every now and then.

The door was shut behind her and Esme stepped over to me, placing a hand on my shoulder and crouching down beside me. "Sweetheart?" I wondered what my face looked like to make her sound so worried. Reaching out, I caught her hand, squeezing tightly. "Okay?"

"Was that wrong?" I asked quietly, my eyes meeting hers almost desperately.

"Bella, if you don't think you can forgive her for what she's done, then that is your decision. I'm certainly not going to tell you want to do." Her voice was a little hesitant and I shook my head.

"But do you think I should forgive her?" She sighed, cupping my cheek.

"I think you should think about it…maybe wait until you're sure she means it. You're usually very quick to forgive people, which is usually a wonderful quality, but you have to be careful about trusting people sometimes, or they can hurt you." I nodded, lowering my eyes, and she kissed my forehead. "You'd better get to lunch, Bella. Edward is waiting outside."

Edward held me closer than normal, keeping his arm firmly around me as we walked to the cafeteria. A few people glanced our way, but I was glad to see that I seemed to be loosing my appeal for gossip…then again that could have been because of the look on Edward's face practically daring anyone to speak to me. Lunch was pizza, as usual, along with some unappetizing looking pieces of plastic that looked sort of like corn, and a white mound of mashed potatoes drizzled in gravy. I shook my head, catching Edward's hand. "Don't bother." I mumbled. "There's no way I can eat that." He sighed, grabbing a bottle of lemonade and an apple, paying for it quickly, then led me to the table where I pulled out the other half of my granola bar.

"I'll be right back." He kissed my cheek and slipped out of the cafeteria, leaving me with the others. I wasn't feeling quite as sick, and the lemonade helped, but the thought of eating that disgusting cafeteria food at the moment was too much. So I ate the rest of the granola bar, then bit into the apple, glancing up at Jasper who was having a nearly silent conversation with Alice.

"Where'd he go?" I asked, looking over at Emmett.

"To talk to Esme." I lifted an eyebrow and he grinned. "He wanted to ask about having you bring a lunch from now on. I don't blame you…this crap looks nasty." I followed his gaze down to his own tray with a slice of greasy peperoni pizza and I clenched my jaw, looking away before my stomach could rebel. "Sorry." He mumbled, grabbing the plate and dumping it into a trashcan behind him. "You feeling any better?"

"Yea…the apple's fine." I took another bite, looking absently around the cafeteria, unsurprised to find Lauren at the center of a table full of football players, grinning and stealing glances at me. Rosalie lifted an eyebrow in the girl's direction. "Do I want to know?" I asked the blonde who narrowed her eyes in distaste.

"No." Nodding, I pushed the thought away, pulling out Jane Eyre and flipping to my most recent page and skimming the words until I found my place. I only looked up when Edward took his seat beside me again, putting an arm around me and pulling me over while I continued to read, our chairs as close together as they could get.

"God, Lauren, would you give it a rest?" Edward turned in surprise, which in turn surprised me more than Jessica's annoyed voice. Apparently he hadn't been reading Jessica's thoughts. The two girls stared at each other from across their table and I turned back to my book, pointedly ignoring their suddenly hushed conversation from there on. I wasn't going to think about Jessica…not now. I had enough confusing things to think about…well, avoid thinking about. So right now, I was going to think about Jane Eyre and try to finish an apple.

Jasper walked beside me to the gym, his hands in his pockets as he lazily made his way through the crowds of people that seemed to part for him, and I wondered if he realized that they were avoiding him. Then again, he probably did…there wasn't much that escaped my family's notice. Jasper reminded me of Edward in the way he moved…Emmett seemed to lumber like a bear, although he was just as precise in his movements as the others, but Jasper moved like a large, long cat, sharp eyes taking in every detail and muscles ready to spring at a second's notice…something that worried me when a few football players eyed me, and one made to approach.

Gripping Jasper's arm as quickly as I could while knowing that I could never hold him back, I squeezed as tightly as I could. He grumbled irritably under his breath but covered my hand with his, leading me away from the group of jocks and toward the gym doors. Although neither of us could read minds, Jasper obviously didn't like their emotions, and so we avoided them, something that apparently went against Jasper's nature. "Please don't." I begged softly as we headed for the bleachers.

"Don't worry, Bella." He soothed me, his words accompanied by a gentle rush of calm. "I won't do anything here." He sat beside me on the blue plastic seats a little apart from the rest of the class, and our teacher entered.

"Alright, we're running today. Four laps around the gym is a mile. Everybody get changed and start stretching." I sat on the bleachers while the others moved, Jasper glancing back at me as he followed the other boys to the locker room. "Swan, you waiting for a written invitation?"

I stared at him blankly. "I'm excused from physical activity until my doctor says so…"

"Excused?" He lifted an eyebrow.

"Yea…I got shot." I reminded him slowly and he glared.

"Don't get smart with me. You were shot in the arm, right?" I bit my lip, fighting back a wave of frustration.

"I'm supposed to have alternate assignments. There should be a note from Dr. Cullen in the office." I'd never particularly liked my gym teacher, and he considered me a menace, but I had no idea what his problem was with giving me an alternate assignment for today.

He turned and left, heading for his office which was by the boy's locker room, passing an irritated looking Jasper on his way. My brother took a seat beside me once again, his shoulder touching mine as the office door shut. "What's he doing?" I asked.

Jasper sighed, waiting for a second. "Calling the office. He's confirming that Carlisle gave them a note….which he did." He reassured me.

"Why's he angry?" I wondered.

"He believes you're receiving special treatment because you're living with us. He's upset because he thinks Carlisle is just taking you out of gym because you don't want to participate." Shaking his head, he glared in the direction of the door. "I'm not sure why, but some of our teachers have been hostile lately, and I believe it's extending to you. I'm sorry about that." I shook my head.

"Why? What would they have against you?" He shrugged.

"It happens sometimes. Instinct kicking in maybe?" He chuckled. "We don't mind…we usually don't stay in one place too long anyway, and we're graduating soon. I just hate that you have to put up with it." He sighed, glancing around when the others began to emerge from the locker room wearing shorts and t-shirts. "He has to give you a different assignment though. I think we'll pretend to be home schooled in the next place we go." He said wryly. "Less trouble with the humans."

"Hale!" Jasper glanced up. "Would you like to be excused from class as well?" He asked a little snidely and Jasper bit back a sigh, clenching his jaw. Wordlessly he stood and joined the other students who were stretching, halfheartedly gripping one ankle and bending his leg upwards as though this was going to be any kind of challenge for him. I smiled a little, knowing he could run this mile in a few seconds. "Swan, I don't have anything for you today. Just work on other homework for now." He seemed a little more resigned than irritated now, and I nodded, walking up to the top of the bleachers and pulling out my English text, glancing up now and again as Jasper jogged around the track, keeping in the middle of the other students with a pained look on his face. I stifled a giggle when he sent me a wave of exasperation and boredom, staring down at my textbook with a smile.

After they all finished running, cooling down, and then stretching a little again, everyone was sent back to the bleachers to listen to a lecture about running, cardiovascular fitness, and the fitness test we would all have to do. Everyone groaned irritably and I sighed, knowing that this would be humiliating. Apparently push ups, sit ups, and running were going to be forced upon me by the end of the semester. Jasper glanced at me in a amusement and I let him feel my dread. I hated physical activity…mostly because I was bad at it, a fact that amused my superhuman siblings, Emmett especially.

"Maybe Carlisle will let you get out of it." He murmured with a grin.

"Doubt it." I mumbled irritably. Carlisle was probably above using his doctor privileges to get me out of a fitness test. Unfortunately.

After a painfully long lecture, we were finally dismissed with the final bell, and I headed toward the Calculus classroom. Jasper eyed me strangely and I sighed.

"Esme gave me detention." He lifted an eyebrow, then turned to follow me.

Esme glanced up when Bella entered the room, followed by Jasper, Edward, and Alice. She sighed a little, then crossed her arms. "Jasper, Alice, Edward, why don't you go on home. I'll take Bella home with me when we finish up here." She locked eyes with Edward, then glanced at the classroom where two other boys sat, both watching the family interaction. She would have let Edward stay with them if it hadn't been for their audience, but she couldn't let them think Bella was getting special treatment, and her son hadn't done anything to earn a detention. Edward sighed and nodded, knowing as well as she did that they had to leave, and kissed Bella gently, his arms wrapping around her.

"I'll see you at home." He promised, touching her face. "Esme will give you a ride home." Bella nodded, trying to smile and failing, and Jasper moved to the human girl's side, hugging her tightly, then kissed the top of her head.

"See you Bella." Alice kissed the girl's cheek then took Jasper's hand, following Edward out to the car.

"Take a seat, Bella. Here." She tapped a desk toward the front, away from the boys, and placed a piece of paper on the desk, then went back to sit behind her own, shifting through a stack of papers.

'I know you're sorry, sweetheart, and I don't want you to think that Carlisle or I are upset with you. But we can't let people think I'm giving you special treatment so you'll stay with me for an hour. You can work on your homework if you like. I love you, Bella.'

Esme glanced up to see Bella wipe at her eyes, one hand covering her mouth as her breath caught, then she visibly calmed, pulling out her history textbook and flipped to a page in the middle, concentrating on the text for the next hour. Esme sighed, glancing over at the two football players she'd caught texting for the third time in her class who were staring at Bella with expressions that she didn't like. pushing back the urge to get up and protect her daughter from the perceived threat, she focused on grading the papers.

Carlisle crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, strictly a habit. Esme stood at his side, one arm slipped between his arm and his side, gripping his elbow. He smiled down at her briefly. Emmett sat on the sofa on the other side of the room, Rosalie in his lap, one arm around his neck, the other hand holding his. Jasper sat with Alice on the adjacent sofa, their eyes on Carlisle. "How was she today?" The question was for all of them, but he was looking at Jasper.

"A little better." Jasper offered, his eyes thoughtful. "Her emotions are still unstable, and she's still afraid sometimes, although she hides it well." He grimaced. "She's trying to suppress it still, although I think she's more aware of what she's doing." He tried to explain, grasping at words to describe what he could only feel with his gift. "She doesn't want to disappoint us…or worry us. She's still guilty about feeling afraid or anxious…and she knows that suppressing it upsets me…or that I can tell…" He sighed, shaking his head. "I think she just feels trapped." Carlisle nodded, his eyes sad.

"She's participating in class." Edward spoke up. "She's talking more…doesn't that mean she's healing?"

"Yes…I believe so." Carlisle told them. "I'm worried about her anxiety making her sick, but she's getting better about telling us when she's not feeling well. She's trying. Like I told her, there isn't a timeline on this. It's going to take a while for her to go back to normal."

"Are we doing the right thing?" Esme asked softly. "Letting her go back?"

"We don't exactly have the right to forbid her…"

"We're her parents." Esme reminded him. When he started to speak she stopped him, squeezing his arm. "Carlisle, she needs parents right now, just as much as she needs brothers and sisters and Edward. She needs us to be her parents all of the time…not just when we comfort her or help her. She needs someone to look out for her best interests as well."

"You think we should tell her what to do?"

"Of course not. I think we should advise her, just like we do the others." Although everyone in the room could hear their conversation, they looked away, giving the illusion of privacy, and Carlisle glanced around the room.

"She's a little different than the others." He reminded her softly.

"Because she's human? Or because you don't think of her as your daughter?'

"Of course I think of her as my daughter." His voice rose a little as he turned to look at Esme fully. "She is my daughter. Just as much as Alice or Rosalie."

"Exactly. She's ours. She chose us, and we accepted her, and so she is our daughter. So are we doing the right thing?" She asked again. He pulled her closer, kissing the top of her head, then resting his forehead against hers, glancing up when he heard Bella on the stiars.

"I don't know."

'Distraction seems to be working…well, more than anything else has. I still feel so anxious every morning when I know I have to go to school that I can't bear the though of eating. I know that worries Carlisle, although I eat well enough after school. I think Esme is going to pack a lunch for me to eat instead of buying cafeteria food. I hate to inconvenience her, but she wouldn't hear of letting me do it. After I finish my homework, I think I'll make my own food…I miss cooking. But Jessica apologized today and then stood up to Lauren. I think Lauren hates me more than ever. I'm not sure what she gets out of hurting me. Maybe she's just a cruel person. Or maybe I did something to her…no, I don't think anything I could have done would merit this. She's got everyone at school talking about my family and me. Today there were some football players staring at me while I was walking to class with Jasper. It reminded me of the way…Mom's friends would stare at me. It made me think of them, and I stayed close to Jasper. He was angry, I could tell.

My gym teacher is the only one that's treated me like that…he thinks I'm getting special treatment or something, which is ridiculous. My shoulder is healing okay…it's still sore sometimes. But Carlisle is still worried about my weight and I think my blood pressure? I'm not sure. He said I have to eat more…I lost weight when they left. I lost interest in food…in life for that matter. I've never felt so abandoned in my life. And then Charlie was going to send me away…

I've thought more and more about speaking with Charlie. He's not really my father anymore…I think after everything that's happened, Esme and Carlisle are my parents. They're going to be for the rest of my existence, but I think if Charlie dies and I don't resolve things with him…I'll never forgive myself. I think if I could talk to him, I might feel better. Or maybe I won't. I'm not sure really. My emotions are…scary. Sometimes I feel so afraid and I don't know why, and then sometimes I feel numb, which is worse. Spending time with my family makes it better, and talking to Rosalie helped…she's been so much nicer recently. I'm glad to have two such wonderful sisters.'

I clicked the little 'x' in left corner of the screen, declining the offer to save the document, and shut the top of the silver computer. Putting my hand over my eyes, I stared absently at the back of my lids while the tears ran down my face. 'I don't understand.' It felt a little better, writing it all out…but seeing it all typed up brought a new kind of pain.

Standing abruptly, I left the little study where I was supposed to be working on homework and made my way down to the kitchen. I heard soft voices and glancing into the living room I found my family gathered around the sofas. Emmett was staring at the TV and Edward was absently running his fingers over the keys of the piano, while Esme and Carlisle stood by the wall. All seemed absorbed in their own activities but I had a feeling that they had been having some kind of meeting. 'About me?' My mind immediately supplied, but I shook my head. 'Don't be so self absorbed. Not everything is about you.' Sure that they heard me come downstairs, I went into the kitchen. If they needed to have some kind of secret family meeting…'No…remember what Alice said? I am a member of their family.' I scolded myself as I opened the refrigerator. 'Surely they wouldn't discuss anything important without me. Maybe they're all just spending time together. Stop imagining conspiracies. You're being ridiculous.' Pushing the thoughts away, I jumped a little when Esme's soft voice sounded behind me.

"Are you hungry, Bella? I can fix you something." She offered.

"I like cooking." I told her with a smile. "I haven't got to do much of it lately." She smiled ruefully.

"I suppose I haven't given you much of a chance." Grinning, I turned and hugged her quickly.

"Somehow, I'm not nearly as good of a cook as you." She laughed. "But I thought I'd make myself something tonight." I hesitated. "If it's okay…"

"Of course it's okay, Bella. This is your home. Make yourself whatever you'd like." She moved over to the counter while I gathered ingredients for chicken Parmesan, preheating the oven and pulling out a package of chicken to defrost in the microwave. Soon, soft music began to waft through the kitchen and I paused, closing my eyes and breathing it in. "I do love it when he plays." Esme said with a happy sigh.

"Rosalie plays as well, doesn't she?"

"Oh yes…most of us have picked up an instrument at some point…you tend to develop a lot of hobbies over the years." She laughed a little. "You know, Jasper is fairly adept with a guitar, and Emmett plays a banjo." I stared at her in silence for a minute, then snorted.

"Emmett? A banjo?"

She giggled. "Oh yes. Apparently it made him very popular among the ladies in his human life." I laughed aloud, trying to imagine giant Emmett sitting in a barn, surrounded by swooning women as he played Dueling Banjos. "And Alice plays a few wind instruments…she's best with a flute, as well as with a trumpet. And you should hear Carlisle with a violin." I could believe that. He seemed like someone who would enjoy music.

Carlisle joined us in the kitchen then, sitting beside Esme and watching me move around the kitchen. I fought back a blush and tried to ignore my absorbed audience, having no idea what they found so fascinating about cooking. After finishing the preparations and putting the dish in the oven, I turned to face them. "You cook very well." Carlisle told me with a smile, and I lost the fight with the blush. Charlie had told me a hundred times that I was a good cook, so I had no idea why Carlisle's praise brought that reaction. He chuckled at my reaction, and the music stopped. Edward appeared at my side then, running the back of his hand over my warm face and smiling tenderly at me.

"Thanks." I mumbled, staring at the floor. Edward cupped my face then, and kissed my forehead.

"It's true." He assured me softly, and I shook my head with teasing grin.

"And yet somehow, I can't cook as well as any of you."

He shrugged. "I don't know…I think you're better than Emmett."

I had to laugh at that and he joined me. "Charlie was better than Emmett."

"Hey!" Emmett shouted from the living room, his booming voice echoing in the kitchen.

"I'll take it back if you eat anything you cook." Edward offered in a conversational tone, and Emmett gagged.

"No thanks. Human food is awful." He appeared in the doorway then. "Speaking of which, what is that terrible smell?" I laughed at his grimace and chucked a towel at him, which he easily caught and dropped on the counter.

"Chicken Parmesan." I informed him haughtily. His grin confused me until Edward's hand shot out in front of my face, holding the towel he'd thrown aloft. He growled softly and Emmett leaned forward eagerly, his lips pulled back.

"Boys…" Esme warned, her eyes going back and forth between them warily, and Carlisle smirked. Emmett growled irritably and crossed his arms, mumbling about never being allowed to have any fun. Edward relaxed but eyes him with anticipation, and I knew that they'd have it out later…probably outside and far enough away that Esme wouldn't hear. I smirked, wondering if they'd let me watch.

Watching Edward and my brothers play was a mix of terrifying and amazing. They almost never became truly angry with one another, but it was always funny when Emmett lost since he was such a bad sport about it. Once to retaliate against Edward after a loss, he'd lunged at me where I was sitting safely on a fallen tree a few feet away, grabbing me gently around the waist and leaping into a tall tree, ignoring my screams of protest as I immediately locked my arms around his neck, and Edward had followed furiously, snarling instinctively at his brother.

Emmett had continued to play the part, knowing that Edward wouldn't chance getting too close when I was dangling over the branch, and had bared his teeth at me, making me realize that he was letting me in on the game. Grinning, I'd bared my teeth back and growled, making him lose his composure and roar with laughter. Suddenly Jasper had appeared behind us silently, shoving at Emmett who was tackled by a grinning Edward, and catching me easily before I was even aware that I was falling. I'd laughed then as Jasper had sat me carefully on the branch to sit beside him, both of us watching in amusement as Edward beat his brother again.

Half hoping for a repeat performance, I pulled the dish from the oven when the timer beeped, carefully folding the towel around my hand as I touched the hot pan. The smell made my stomach rumble and everyone in the room grinned. "Don't you have somewhere to be?" I asked Emmett with a glare as I spooned the chicken onto my plate. He laughed and ruffled my hair, then went off in search of Rosalie. Carlisle and Esme smiled as well, pausing touch my arm or hug me, then headed upstairs to their room. Edward sat beside me at the counter, his shoulder touching mine, and made small talk while I ate.


	11. Chapter 11

You know when you meet someone, and you just instantly know that you're always going to hate them? Well that was how I felt when I met Rosalie Hale.

Well, meet is probably the wrong word. The Cullens didn't socialize with others…at least not when they moved here. Here in Forks, people get excited when new people move here…like, legitimately excited. Once, my block threw a welcome party for some Hispanic couple that moved in down the road, which I totally don't get because why would any sane person want to move here? Forks sucks. Like, really sucks. It's cold and wet and unless you like antique shopping, there is nothing to do. Even driving to the city gets boring. Once, my family went on vacation to LA. I cried when we came back.

Anyway, my dad heard some gossip at work when I was about to start my second year of High School that we were getting a new doctor here in town, which is apparently a big deal because he was some big shot surgeon, whose wife liked living in the country or something like that. Then my mom mentioned that she heard from a woman at the pharmacy whose daughter is interning at the hospital that he and his wife had a bunch of foster kids so I was thinking a bunch of screaming toddlers or maybe a few drug dealing ten year olds…but then the woman's daughter's boss said that no, they were all around my age.

Then on the first day of my sophomore year, there they were. Of course, everyone was staring but it's like they didn't ever see anyone. They were all nice looking…if you got past the really freaky pale skin, and they all stuck close together, walking into the building like they owned it, ignoring everyone else completely. Rosalie was in my first class, and I couldn't resist the temptation to sit beside her. She and the big one, Emmett, who I later learned was her incestuous boyfriend or something, were the only newcomers, and both turned to glance at me as I pointedly took the seat beside her. "Hey, I'm Lauren." I'd given her a cool smile, just friendly enough to let her know that I could be nice, but also b*tchy enough to let her know not to mess with me. I mean, I may have only been a sophomore but even then I knew how to screw with the people that screwed with me…my friends and I were pretty well known for it. "Welcome to Forks." I of course then rolled my eyes to let her know what I thought of this piece of crap town.

She's seemed incredulous for the most part, her eyebrow lifting in irritation, and she glanced at the guy beside her who was smirking at his desk. "Rosalie." She informed me, then turned her back…yes, turned her back to me, and began talking to the guy beside her in a voice I could barely hear.

"B*tch." I mumbled the word, staring at her back incredulously. Then she stiffened in her seat, turning to glare at me.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing." And with a sickeningly sweet smile, I'd turned around in my own desk, starting a conversation with a girlfriend, and ignoring her really large brother's chuckle.

It hadn't gotten any better after that. As soon as he'd seen me, her other brother, the brown haired one named Edward, had laughed and started whispering to his family. I'm sure they were talking about me...about how she'd snubbed me or something. Instantly I'd hated him…all of them, the snobby blonde and her meat head boyfriend, her equally snobby blonde twin and his freaky little girlfriend, and the brown haired outsider who was too good to speak to anyone. I know for a fact that Jessica asked him out once…I'm sure he was laughing at her behind her back later with his freaky family…like they had any room to make fun of anyone. They were obviously all dating each other…probably all at the same time. Of course, I didn't waste any time telling all of my friends, especially after Jessica was completely humiliated by them.

So then Isabella Swan moved to town. And of course everyone had to drop everything and stare at her and half the boys fell in love with her, like she was anything special. Really, she was just some quiet, stuck up girl who could barely walk a straight line. And then she nearly got herself killed when Tyler crashed his car. And then Tyler was asking her to prom when everyone knew that I liked him and he was about to ask me….

But if all of that wasn't bad enough, she goes away one day with Jessica and Angela and suddenly Edward Cullen is dating her…and not just dating her, he's obviously head over heels in love with her. Like, what did she do? How did she manage that? What kind of freaky sex crap did she let him do? Because there is no way someone that plain…and that's being nice about it, could get a guy like that. And then it was like his entire family fell in love with this one stupid, uninteresting girl! The little black haired freak was her best friend and those brothers of his started protecting her…so obviously she was giving it up to them to. And it wasn't a stretch to assume that the slut was doing it with Edward's daddy doctor. Why else would they want her to move in? And trust me, I lost no time telling everyone I knew. It was practically my duty. I mean, how sick is that? That man should lose his job…well she's over eighteen, but still…in his own house, with his wife there? But judging from the fact that she was teaching at our school now, she was either in on it, or she was somehow unaware. I was guessing she was in on it, which was even more disgusting.

I had no idea why Jessica was defending her now. We'd been friends since Middle School and suddenly this two-bit whore was coming between us? I'm not sure what she said to Jessica, but it had to have been a lie. There's no way I would just make this stuff up…obviously it was true. Anyone could see that. At least my friends on the football team agreed with me. I wanted her out of this school, and judging by the way she was acting, it wouldn't take much. They had a couple of ideas that would push her over the edge and out of our school…and if we were lucky, out of our town, forever. Then everything would go back to normal.

"Hello, Mrs. Cullen. How can I help you?" The beautiful woman smiled a little, and Principal Greene took a second to regret that they were both married.

"I need to speak with you about Bella." She informed him, her musical, lilting voice filling the office.

"Of course." He swept his arm out grandly, gesturing for her to go before him into his office, then sat behind his desk across from her. "I saw that she was assigned detention with you yesterday for inappropriate language in class? Is this becoming a problem with her?"

"No…as I'm sure you can understand, she's been having a hard time…especially since the shooting. She was friends with the boy…"

"Jackson? Really? I was under the impression that he was a bit of a loner…rather unstable as well."

"I believe the bullying contributed to that greatly." She spoke mildly, but her eyes were upset.

"You know we don't allow bullying at this school, Mrs. Cullen." He waited for her to insist he call her Esme, as he'd been doing so in his mind since meeting her, but she only stared at him a little incredulously. "We have a zero tolerance policy for that kind of behavior. All a student would have to do is inform a teacher. No…we believe that Jackson had some mental health issues. You know, in my opinion, his parents probably let him play too many violent video games…I'm sure you've seen the studies…this generation is just becoming so desensitized to violence." He sighed, waiting for her agreement, but she only continued to stare at him.

"Mr. Greene, I'm here to talk about Bella." She repeated, as though she hadn't heard a word he'd said. "As you know, she's been staying with my husband and myself, and we've come to see her as one of our own. We're very worried about her, Mr. Greene. She experienced several panic attacks after she was injured, and you must have heard the rumors that have been spreading around the school, orchestrated, I'm sure, by Lauren Mallory."

"Mrs. Cullen, you and your husband are fairly new in town, so I'm sure you don't know, but Lauren Mallory is one of our finest students. She's on the honor roll, and her mother is on the PTA board…and her father is one of our top alumni. I'm sure you're mistaken. Now, children can be mean sometimes…we all know that. But I believe that Bella would come forward and speak with someone…other than a woman she seems to view as her guardian…if she were being bullied. Maybe she's exaggerating. Or maybe she has something against Miss Mallory? The girl's don't seem close…could Bella be saying this to…" Suddenly the beautiful woman stood, slamming her hand on the desk.

"My daughter would not lie about this." Her face, so beautiful a second ago, was livid. "How dare you insinuate that I would accuse a teenage girl of tormenting another student if I wasn't sure?"

"Mrs. Cullen…" He continued in his placating tone he'd found worked the best with the female teachers. She stared at him for a moment, her body as still as a statue, and then she gritted her teeth. Turning on her heels, she slammed the door behind her, and he thought he saw a fine crack appear in the wooden frame.

Carlisle glanced up when his wife stormed through the door, his eyebrows lifting as he caught her muttering. "Had the nerve…as though I would…how dare that...rip the bloody man apart myself…patronizing moron….my little girl…"

"Esme?" He spoke hesitantly, reaching out and catching her hand. "How did the meeting with the principal go?" She glared at his attempted light tone, baring her teeth and pointing a finger at him.

"You do something about that man, Carlisle. Or I will." With that she moved at their speed up the stairs, and he winced when he heard the library door slam shut, shaking the chandelier above his head. With a sigh, he pulled his silver phone out of his pocket.

Jasper lay on his bed, one arm around Alice who curled against him, her head resting on his shoulder, her soft lips finding his neck every once in a while, making his lips curl in a smile as he rubbed her back and side. He couldn't think of anything he ever done….any pleasure he'd ever had, that could even compare to just being with Alice. Of course, being with any of his family was enough to make him happy…something he hadn't been for so long that he cherished it now. His brothers, carefree Emmett and serious Edward…who was a little less serious now that he had his own mate, were the most fun, especially considering before them, he'd not had any kind of fun since losing his humanity. And of course Rosalie was his sister…they may not exactly be close, but he loved her, and she was fond enough of him. The thought made him smile a little. She really did seem like an older sister in that respect, which amused him. And then there were Carlisle and Esme, who'd so quickly accepted them into their home…into their family.

Unlike the clan he'd been a part of…no, the army he'd been a part of, these people were the head of a family…the parents, and as he'd begun to spend more time with Carlisle and Esme, he'd begun to feel as though they were his parents, and could feel the same emotions coming from them. They loved him almost instantly, something that shocked him so much that he hadn't known how to react at first.

And now he had another little sister…Bella…the fragile, clumsy, stubborn little human girl who'd all but adopted Emmett and himself as her big brothers before they even realized how much they loved her. He knew that he would be closer to Bella than to Rosalie…no matter how long he knew his brother's blonde mate, she put herself too much on the fringe to allow anyone…save Emmett…to really get close to her, while Bella was as open and ready to love and be loved as Rosalie could be cold. But that was changing…Bella had gotten to Rosalie too, Jasper observed with some amusement. But he couldn't see himself ever leaving his little sister...any more than he could leave his new parents or Alice.

Beside him, Alice stiffened suddenly, her breath catching, and he felt the split second of alarm he always felt when her visions came on her like this. Immediately calming, realizing that there was no danger, he tightened his arm around her and waited. She sighed irritably and relaxed again, her nose against his throat. "I wish people would make up their mind." She grumbled.

"Bella again?"

"Lauren." She growled, and he joined her. "Esme spoke to the principal today, who called Lauren's mother, and now…well, it didn't do Bella any good." Jasper groaned, dropping his head back on the pillow. With things seeming to come from all sides, protecting his baby sister was getting harder and harder...as though the fates were conspiring against them. "She's planning something…with some of the football players I think; nothing definite yet…just don't leave her alone in gym."

"I won't." He promised grimly.

"I'm glad you love her too." She said softly, placing a hand on his chest, and he turned to kiss her, meeting her eyes…letting himself get lost in them.

I stretched, letting my arms reach for the ceiling and arching my back. Sitting at this desk was getting old. Giving up for the moment on the history reading, I grabbed my English text, Frankenstein, which was absolutely horrible, and headed for the living room where I found Edward and Emmett staring at the TV screen while some movie played. I sat on the sofa beside Edward, who turned to smile at me, and cupped my cheek, pressing his lips to mine, making me forget all about Frankenstein and his monster, the book falling from my hand while I wrapped my arms around his neck. We must have stayed like that for longer than Emmett could put up with, because our large brother cleared his throat irritably.

"Hello? I am still in the room." Edward broke away from me just enough to threaten (and swear at) Emmett quietly before finding my lips again. I couldn't help but agree…it had been too long since we'd just sat together…especially since his family was always around, and I was typically so tired at night that I just fell asleep wherever I was. Apparently it had been too long for Edward as well, because he pulled me onto his lap, making me forget that Emmett was in the room. "Oh come on." Our brother grumbled, standing and storming out, and Edward chuckled against my lips, moving down to my throat for a second, then pulled me sideways, cradling me against him as we lay on the couch.

"Did you finish your homework?"

"No." I mumbled against his neck where my face was pressed, inhaling his scent. He chuckled softly, the vibrations shaking me.

"Do you want me to do it for you?"  
"It's Frankenstein." I grumbled and he laughed again, kissing my forehead.

"I can just give you a synopsis." He offered with a grin, but I shook my head.

"I'd better read it…I haven't done any of the reading so far and I'm behind. Besides…" I brought my lips up to his ear and he shuddered a little. "I'm pretty sure the whole family can hear us." He sighed then, rolling his eyes, muttering something about how he wished they'd all get out for a while, and I couldn't help the blush that rose to my face. I knew that he wanted to marry me…but he'd said before that….well that wouldn't be possible with us…did he change his mind? The stray thought made my cheeks grow darker, and he stroked my face absently with a cool hand.

"You smell so good." He mumbled, and I would have been afraid had I not trusted him implicitly.

"You smell pretty good too." He chuckled, kissing my cheek, then let his face linger there, his nose against my cheek.

When it was like this…when I was sitting on the couch with Edward or playing with my brothers or being dragged around the mall by Alice, I was okay. I could forget about school and Lauren and the people that whispered about me and the guys that were starting to look at me in ways that made me nervous. I could forget about mean teachers and caring teachers and indifferent teachers…I could just focus on my family and how happy I was to have them. But buried under everything…just under the surface of my happiness, I was still afraid…and I wondered if, when I had to go back to that school, I always would be.


	12. Chapter 12

I did not want to go to school. I kept my eyes closed as the sun peeked in through the window, burrowing deeper into the covers while Edward touched my side and shaking my head when he asked if I was sick, when he asked if I was hurting…when he asked if something was wrong. Finally he moved to my side, cupping my face in his hands, and begging to know what was wrong, and I felt too bad to tell him. "Sorry. I'm just tired." I lied, although I was tired.

"Do you want to stay home?"

More than anything, honestly, but I couldn't tell him that. "No. I'm getting up." He nodded, stepping back and giving me room to sit up, and I blinked, staring about the room for a moment.

"You've got half an hour to get ready. You want something to eat?" My stomach clenched and I shook my head. "Okay…I'm going to go downstairs so you can get ready." He kissed me then, touching my face gently, and my heart flipped. Reaching around his neck, I held him closer, then failing that, tried to get closer to him. He responded after a second, holding me to him and kissing me deeply. "I love you." He whispered against my lips, and I smiled, my face heating up every time I heard it.

"I love you too." He met my eyes, debated for a second, then kissed me quickly, pulling away before I could grab him again, and stepped back. "Downstairs." He repeated with a sigh, then disappeared from the room while I laughed.

My humor vanished when he did, and I had to drag myself to the closet to find something to wear, pulling out a t-shit I hadn't worn in a while and a pair of jeans, then threw them on. I glanced down at my backpack and threw Frankenstein in disdainfully, hoping my bad mood was only confined to boring literature.

I came downstairs to find Carlisle and Edward standing in the kitchen, speaking in seemingly urgent whispers. Not wanted to interrupt them, I started to step back, but ended up backing into Jasper who caught me when I, in a usual display of clumsiness, nearly retwisted my ankle and ran into the wall in my surprise. "How do you do that?" I mumbled irritably but he only chuckled.

"Actually, you are just very loud and nearly deaf." I stuck my tongue out at him and tried to dodge when he reached to ruffle my hair, but he caught me like I knew he would.

"Bella, Esme made you this." Carlisle handed me a small box with a smile. "She already left." He told me when I looked around to thank her. "She also put a granola bar in there, along with some fruit. Try to eat it during the day as well as at lunch." I bit my lip at his worried look and started to step forward, but hesitated.

'Is he upset with me? I don't want him to be upset…am I too much trouble?' Before Jasper could calm me, Carlisle had stepped forward and engulfed me in his arms, the safety I felt just as strong as when Jasper used his talent on me.

"Have a good day." He told me, stepping away and smoothing my hair where Jasper had mussed it, and Edward stepped forward, taking my hand and leading me out the door, and we were followed by the others.

I rubbed the soap on my hands to a lather and glanced at my watch. Lenient as the grad student teaching history was, I doubted he would let it pass if I spent too long in the bathroom. I glanced up at myself in the mirror, running damp hands through the stray strands and smoothing my ponytail. "Like what you see?" I jumped a little, then turned to find Lauren smirking at me from in front of the bathroom door. "Or are you primping for your boyfriend's brothers?"

"Would you shut up?" I asked irritably. "You know, you really need some new material." I was surprised at my own bravery and put my hands under the automatic dryer, ignoring her pointedly.

"Why? The town skank screwing her boyfriend's family seems to keep everyone interested. How do you stand it?" She shook her head, crossing her arms. "Then again, you must like it. You never tell anyone…you know, if it were my, if I was too much of a coward to stop it, I'd just off myself…finish the job." I clenched my teeth, ignoring the stinging pain in my eyes. "I mean they all know you're insane, you know that right? I'll bet they're just waiting around for you to snap." She grinned at me for a minute, then crossed her arms. "So, who's the best?" I bit my lip hard, using one hand up to pinch my leg as hard as I could, forcing myself not to remember…she wasn't talking about Jeremy or Mark or any of my mom's friends she didn't know she didn't know she was making it up I had to get out of there….

"Move." I told her in a shaky voice, my nails digging into my leg so hard I feared I would break the skin through the denim.

"Oh come on. Just tell me? The big one? He seems like he'd be kind of rough. "But maybe that's how you…"" I felt bile in my throat and reached forward, grabbing her arm and jerking her forward, flinging the unprepared girl toward the stalls, then threw the door open and ran into the hallway, covering my mouth with my hand and forcing myself to breathe.

'Not now…I can't fall apart right now!' I dug my nails into my leg, suddenly remembering the manicure Alice had given me late the night before and glancing down at them, hoping I hadn't ruined them…she'd ask about that. They were fine, and I crossed my arms, breathing deeply. 'Distraction. History. I have to get back to history. I have to calm down…Jasper will know. Calm.' After a few more seconds, I ran my fingers under my eyes to make sure they were dry, then went down to the history classroom.

Mark glanced up when I entered, but didn't stop his lecture. Jasper, on the other hand, stared at me openly as I sat in my desk between him and Edward. Before I could even look at him, there was a piece of paper on my desk. "What happened?" I glanced over at Jasper, then ignored the note, trying to catch up on the notes. I felt his incredulous stare and then a hint of irritation which made me stiffen, my nails once again finding my leg and my chest tightening.

'I'm making him mad at me…' Immediately the irritation disappeared, replaced by remorse and worry and the love that he usually sent me. I looked over at him and he shook his head.

"It's not you." He mumbled, his eyes sad. "I couldn't be mad at you."

"Mr. Hale?"

"February 9th, 1861." He answered, turning in his seat to stare at Mark, and the man swallowed briefly before nodding and moving on. "I swear the actual Civil War was not as long as this unit on the Civil War." He mumbled irritably. "I would know."

Jasper had given up asking me what was wrong for the moment, and Edward hadn't had a chance since I had to go to Calculus, but the feeling in my chest only grew, and no matter how hard I tried to push my nails into my leg, it wasn't working and it only got worse once I sat in the classroom with no Edward or Jasper or Emmett close to protect me...Esme was too far away...I just wanted her to hold me, to tell me that I was safe... I could hear Lauren's words, over and over, the rumors she was spreading, the way the guys from the football team kept leering at me, how, when we were walking in the hallway to Calculus and I was kept between Edward and Jasper, they would get too close and I would feel sick and there was Jeremy again and I couldn't fight it….

I couldn't do this…I was going to panic…in the middle of class. Everyone already thought I was enough of a freak…I had to get out. I clenched my jaw, forcing myself to breathe despite the pain in my chest. I had to get out of class…thrusting my hand into the air, I startled Jessica who sat next to me. Esme paused midsentence and gave me a concerned look. "Yes, Bella?"

"Can I go to the bathroom?" I managed in what I hoped was a steady if urgent tone. Narrowing her eyes a bit as she tried to decipher my mood, she nodded.

"Yes…take the hall pass." I grabbed it from the desk with what I tried to make a reassuring smile, then fled the room, shutting the door behind me and then sprinting into the bathroom, locking myself into a stall.

Sitting in the bathroom stall, I curled up on the toilet seat, my hands pressed against my temples. 'What is wrong with me?' The words repeated in my mind over and over like a mantra. 'My family is constantly with me. They're worried…I've talked to them and I've written in that journal and I can't breathe…' Taking a strangled breath, I clenched my teeth, putting a hand over my mouth. I couldn't let anyone hear me…I desperately hoped that Alice wasn't watching. Placing my fingers against the back of my hand, I pinched the skin there, a habit I didn't even remember picking up, but it wasn't working.

Grabbing my left wrist, I dug my nails in, keeping my jaw clenched as if that would keep the noise locked tightly inside me. Rocking back and forth, I ignored the pain, then embraced it, pushing my long, perfectly manicured nails further into my skin. Pain I understood…this pain I could control. I could stop it anytime I needed to, but it was completely up to me. Wincing, I put more pressure on my skin, moving my nails up and down, gouging out the delicate skin on my wrist, then released my hand, looking at the new angry red marks on my arm and the dots of blood that welled up to the surface, my breathing, that at first came in pants, slowing a little.

For a moment, I reveled in the acute relief the action had brought….taking deep breaths, I enjoyed the sensation of being able to do so. Then I realized what I had done. "Crap." I whispered in a shaky voice, starting at the visible marks, panic building in my chest once again. There was no way I could hide this from the others…I had lunch with them in less than thirty minutes. And then they would all just think I was more of a basket case than they probably did already. Leaving the stall and turning the sink on, I ran the cold water over my arm. Then grabbing the roll of toilet paper, I pressed some to my wrist with a shaky hand until the little droplets of blood stopped welling up, and dropped the wad into the trash. Hurrying out of the bathroom, I ducked through the empty halls and stepped outside, heading for the office.

The attendant looked up in surprise and I wondered how I must look. Crossing my arms tightly across my stomach and hiding my marked wrist behind the other arm, I tried to look ill…not really a stretch. "I feel really sick. Can I go home?" She frowned at me, half standing.

"Miss Swan!" She reached over the desk, then seemed to think better of it and gave me a strained smile. "Would you like me to call Dr. Cullen?" The thought of facing Carlisle with the marks on my arms was almost worse than facing Jasper.

"No…I just need to go home."

"Okay…just let me call…"

"No need." I tensed at the all too familiar voice and closed my eyes for a second in fear. "My mother told me that Bella wasn't feeling well." I was surprised for a second, then realized that they were all excellent liars…they had to be. "She asked me to drive Bella home. I already informed our fourth and fifth period teachers."

"Oh….well alright then Mr. Cullen. Feel better Miss Swan." I forced a small smile, feeling bile in my throat as I fought the urge to panic. He couldn't know. Not him. I couldn't do this to him…not after everything else.

Silently, he came up behind me and wrapped an arm around me, leading me towards the door. "Do you want me to carry you?" I knew he was asking half in jest, remembering the time after the blood typing incident, but I nodded, shocking him. But I figured that if he was holding me, I could tuck my arm against him and hide it better. Stopping and bending down so that he could look into my face, he touched my cheek. "Bella? Do you want me to take you to Carlisle?" I shook my head, fighting back the tears, and he scooped me into his arms without another word, carrying me to the car and tucking me into the front seat. In a second he was in the driver's seat and speeding out of the parking lot. "Are you sure?" He asked softly, his jaw tight with worry. I managed another shake of my head, clenching my teeth as I fought the urge to dig my nails into the now aching wounds on my wrist. It would make me feel so much better, I realized, and that thought made me gag in terror.

The car seemed to be on the side of the road without any movement on Edward's part and he was at my side instantly, the car door open as I threw up bile on the side of the road. "I'm taking you to the hospital." He said firmly, finally seeming to notice the way I kept my arms around myself, and tried to persuade me to unwind them, but I whimpered in protest, clenching them even more tightly around myself, and he pulled back, now even more worried than before as he helped me sit up in the car. "Bella? What's wrong? Are you hurting?" He hovered anxiously and I felt tears rise in my eyes at the sound. But I couldn't let him know….

"Cold." I managed, grateful for the trembling that I couldn't seem to control and immensely relieved when he seemed to buy it and pulled off his jacking, draping it over me and hiding my arm even further. "Not the hospital." I begged, and he sighed. I knew he was worried, but honestly I was more worried about Carlisle getting a good look at my arm and having me committed...the thought had me fighting back another wave of nausea. There wasn't really any way that I could explain this without either making up an attack or admitting that I was…what? Crazy? I bit my lip at the thought.

He was in the driver's seat again, speeding down the road I wasn't seeing. "Okay…but I'm calling Carlisle." I could accept that…I'd just have to figure out a way to hide my arm before he got home…I took a second to feel guilty that this was his first day back.

Edward pulled into the long driveway and carried me out of the car, his eyes never leaving my face. His eyes that I refused to meet. 'He'll see it.' I knew that he would…he'd see that I was loosing it. Clenching my teeth at the pain, I curled up more tightly in his arms as we entered our bedroom. Laying me on the bed where I curled on my right side and lay on my left arm that I had wrapped around myself, he stood at my side for a minute, deliberating. "I'm going to call Carlisle. Try and rest." He repeated, his voice tense, and I ignored him, hoping he would go outside to make the call. Thankfully he left a second later, switching off the light and shutting the door behind him.

As soon as the door clicked, I was up, reaching into a (thankfully already open) drawer and pulling out a long sleeved night-shirt and a pair of loose pants that I carried into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. "Bella?"

"I'm okay." I assured him, keeping my voice at a mumble so that he wouldn't detect any falseness in it. "Just changing."

"Alright…Carlisle is on his way home." I swore mentally, throwing my old clothes on the floor and pulling the long sleeved shirt over my head and yanking the pants on. Shutting out the light before I opened the door, even knowing it wouldn't make a difference to him, I pulled the sleeves down and wrapped my arms around my stomach once again. It wasn't hard to pretend to be sick…the thought of the look on his face if he discovered the marks on my arm did the trick. Immediately he was holding me to him, leading me to the bed and, pulling the covers back, tucked me under the thick comforter. "Better?" He asked softly, stroking my hair. I managed a nod and curled up under the blanket, hiding my face behind my hair until he left the room once again.

I heard Carlisle enter the room a few minutes later, his soft, worried voice conversing with Edward, but tried not to react. His cold hand touched my face for a moment and he said my name softly. "Sweetheart, it's me. Can you tell me where it hurts?"

'Everywhere.' I wanted to tell him. 'My heart hurts…my chest feels like it's been ripped apart, and every time I think of telling you that, my stomach hurts.' Biting down on my lip, I ignored the question. I couldn't tell him. I couldn't let him see how bad I was.

"Bella? Honey, can you move your arms?" He was trying to get me to uncurl, pulling my hands, and I sobbed loudly, crying out and jerking away as I curled tighter, bringing my knees to my chest.

'How stupid can you get…of course he was going to see.' In retrospect it was obvious…how could I hope to hide something like this…why had I even done it? But the urge was still there, hidden under the fear, and I knew that if I could just get my nails back into my skin, I'd be okay for a bit. 'No.' I commanded myself firmly. 'What am I thinking? This is what caused this in the first place. I just need to calm down…I'll just pretend to be sick…well, I don't really need to pretend. I'll just pretend to be more sick than I am until I can get medicine on my arm…the scratches should be gone by tomorrow…probably. And I won't do it again.'

"Bella?" Carlisle's voice was alarmed as he moved back. His cool hand rested on my face and wiped at my eyes. "You said she was feeling sick at school?"

"She left her Calculus class…then after a few minutes she went to the attendance office and told them she needed to go home." His tense voice was full of confusion and worry. "She threw up on the side of the road, but she's hardly eaten anything…I don't think she's eaten anything today actually…" I tensed under the covers, hoping that they'd leave, but Carlisle remained by my bedside.

"Let me give you something, Bella. Is it just your stomach? Are you sick anywhere else?"

I was sick everywhere else, but I couldn't' tell him that. I managed to shake my head, fighting back tears. "Edward, can you get me my bag? I'm going to give her some anti nausea medicine first…maybe she'll be able to tell me what's wrong then." He reached for my arm in the next second and I fought back a scream, trying uselessly to pull away, but his hand was like an iron cuff. "Bella, stop." He said gently, starting to pull up my sleeve.

"No, please!" I tried pulling away again, knowing for a fact that I couldn't hope to win against him. "Please, Dad, stop!" I begged, knowing this was the only way I could get him to stop, but he was frozen in place, my sleeve partway up my arm. For a moment he held perfectly still, his hand wrapped around my arm. I couldn't bear the thought of looking at his face.

"Leave the bag Edward. Go back to school." I heard Edward's faltering footsteps in the hall.

"Carlisle? What was that? What's wrong? What are you hiding from me?"

"Edward, I have to talk to her alone. Go back to school. Please." The last word was forced through clenched teeth and I felt my heart twist in fear. Edward apparently wasn't willing to fight with his father, and I almost asked him to take me with him.

In my many months of living with them, Carlisle had never been angry with me…I had no idea how I would bear it now. "Bella, are you really feeling sick?" I couldn't decipher his tone, but I nodded, not able to lie about the agonizing pain in my stomach, although it had nothing to do with any kind of stomach bug. Letting my arm fall back to the bed, he took my right hand and gently pushed the sleeve back. In what felt like a millisecond he had grabbed the syringe and injected the liquid into my arm.

A second later, he moved away from the bed, slowly walking into his office across the hall and drop the needle into the biohazard bin in the corner. Just as slowly he reentered the room, moving back to my side and sitting on the bed without touching me. The thought that he was angry with me…that he was too disappointed to even speak, made me sick again despite the medicine, and I gagged, retching painfully as I fought not to throw up. Before I could throw up on the floor, I was being held against him as he held a trashcan in front of me. "It's okay." He said softly, keeping my hair back at my neck and supporting me while I dry heaved over the empty can. "The medicine will help." He promised. Turning my face as soon as I was done, I clutched his shirt in my fists and sobbed into his arm.

"Please, don't." I begged, and he finally put an arm around me. "Please, please." It was the best I could do, and he rubbed circles on my back.

"Don't what Bella?" He sounded tired, and it only made me cry harder, pulling away from him and sobbing into my hands instead of his arm. Sighing wearily, he placed a hand on my shoulder, but I pulled away again, curling up on the bed, my back to him. After a long pause, he stood and left the room.

'He's giving up on me. He hates me…I've caused too much trouble and he's done with me.' I couldn't bear to think it, nor could I stop. 'What is wrong with me?'

Carlisle was sure that if his heart had been beating, it would have stopped when he'd seen the angry looking scratches on her arm, immediately knowing exactly what had caused them. 'How could this have happened? How could she have resorted to this without anyone noticing how badly she was suffering?' He concentrated on her stomach pains, wondering if she was just trying to hide her arm from Edward or if she was really sick….he would say that she was actually suffering from nausea. Edward had mentioned that she'd thrown up, and she was paler than normal, her face twisted in pain, but that could be caused by any number of things…pain, fear, anxiety…an actual illness on top of everything else. "Leave the bag Edward. Go back to school." He couldn't talk to his son at the moment. As irrational as it was, he was angry. 'How didn't he notice?' He saw his son's confused face as he sat the bag on the ground and took a step forward.

"Carlisle? What was that? What's wrong? What are you hiding from me?" Carlisle made a concentrated effort not to think about anything except a list of symptoms of a stomach bug.

"Edward, I have to talk to her alone. Go back to school. Please." His son hesitated, but he did as he asked after a moment, nodding, making it abundantly clear that he was reluctant to leave, but doing so because he trusted and respected Carlisle. The doctor waited until he heard his son's car pull out of the driveway, then waited another second or so. "Bella, are you really feeling sick?" His own voice sounded almost strangled, even to his own ears, and he hoped that Bella didn't notice. The girl only nodded, her teeth clenched against the pain he knew she was feeling, and he moved as quickly as possible to inject her with the medicine that would soothe her.

Moving slowly, he walked across the hall to his office, his ears trained on her breathing, giving her a minute to calm down and let the medicine spread. 'I can't believe I've done this to her. How could I not have noticed? I thought she was healing, we all did. What are they doing to her?' He found himself back in her room once again, and stared at her as he moved back to the side of her bed. 'Why aren't the teachers doing anything?' He felt a rush of fury when he looked at the small girl curled up on the bed, her jaw clenched and her face still wet from tears. 'Did someone do something else….did someone hurt her?' He sat on the bed beside her, his hands clenched in his lap. 'I'll kill them…if someone's touched her, I'll kill them myself.' Suddenly the girl gagged, a tear escaping her tightly shut eyes and trailing down her face, and Carlisle grabbed a trashcan, helping her sit up quickly and pulling her hair back. She placed one arm around her stomach and the other gripped the can as her stomach rebelled, and he held her against him as she finished, supporting her when she would have collapsed. 'I'm going to kill someone regardless…starting with that Laruen girl.' He thought viciously, knowing back in his mind that he probably wouldn't be able to bring himself to kill a teenage girl, but also knowing that the girl had unknowingly put herself in a dangerous position, threatening one of his family. "It's okay." He soothed the girl. "The medicine will help." One hand tightened around her as he held her, wanting more than anything to protect her from everything.

Bella turning and grabbed his shirt, sobbing into his shoulder. His face twisted in pain as he rocked her gently. "Please don't…" She cried. "Please…please…" He bit his lip, sharp teeth against hard skin, and could have cried himself.

"Don't what Bella?" He asked, his voice pained. 'I don't know how to help her. I don't know what I can do.' He felt his heart clench when she pulled away, crying painfully into her hands. Reaching out, he put a hand on her shoulder, offering what little support he could, whispering her name in such a pained, quiet tone that he wondered if she heard it, but she jerked away, curling up on the bed once again and sobbing.

'I've failed her.' He put his head in his hands, eyes filling. It hurt, he realized, more than he could ever describe, to feel her jerk away from him, to know that she was in so much pain, but that he couldn't help her. Standing shakily, he left the room, his eyes darting back to her every few seconds, then shutting the door behind him as he stood in the hall.

As he waited for school to end, he stood by her bedroom door, then paced the hallway…then headed downstairs, only to hurry back up the stairs to listen at her door as she cried softly, his own eyes still full. 'What can I do?' He asked himself over and over, his arms crossed tightly as he paced, fully aware that he never paced when he was nervous. Every once in a while her breath would catch as she sobbed and he would press his hand against the bedroom door, anxiously waiting for her breathing to return to normal. He'd already told the hospital he wouldn't be back today.

Ten minutes before the final bell, he picked up his cell phone and dialed his wife. "Is she okay?" Her anxious voice was barely a murmur and he wondered if she was standing in front of her class.

"No. It's bad, Esme. Edward can't know…not right now. I've failed her, love. She trusted me and…"

"You did not fail her, Carlisle. You are doing your best! We all are! But there is only so much we can protect her from…" She took a deep, shuddering breath and he knew that he needed to see her…he had to speak with her, hold her in his arms.

"I'm coming to the school…we need to talk about this, and I'm sure Edward will want to be a part of that conversation." He stopped and listened as she began crying anew, the young human girl's voice raw and pained. "Send Jasper and Emmett to stay with her. I can't leave her when she's like this…" Esme's breath caught. "She's been crying for hours…she wouldn't let me comfort her." His voice was agonized and Esme sighed.

"She loves you, Carlisle. I'm sure she didn't mean to make you think she blamed you…she's so upset."

"I know." He mumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Carlisle glanced up when Emmett and Jasper appeared in the living room, Jasper's face pained. Emmett marched up to Carlisle and threw his arms around his father, his jaw clenched. Even without his brothers' gifts, he knew that Carlisle was suffering. "We've got Bella." Emmett promised, squeezing his father one last time, then backing away.

"Jasper…" Carlisle looked at his newest son, biting his lip. "I don't mean to…"

"Don't." Jasper said softly, reaching out and touching his father's arm. "I want to help her. You aren't making me do anything, or using me, or anything like that. I love her, just like you do." He promised softly, then the two hurried up the stairs. As soon as he heard her bedroom door open, he raced out to his car.

I wasn't sure how long I lay there, sobbing into the pillow as the nausea slowly faded. Every time I thought I was okay, I would remember Carlisle's tired voice, the way he'd shut the door behind him as he left. 'I caused too much trouble for him. He gave up.' That thought was enough to bring the nausea back and make me sob harder. Finally I heard a door shut downstairs, and after only a second, my door opened.

The soothing calm stopped my tears and fought against the sick feeling in my stomach, and I wondered if there was any way I could ever convey my gratitude to Jasper. Before I could try he was holding something to my mouth, one hand under my head to help me. "Drink." He told me softly, and I did, sipping gratefully at the ice water for a few seconds, then lying back on the pillow, the cold water soothing my aching throat. Then he was lying beside me, pulling me into his arms. An instant later, Emmett's giant frame lay behind me, one hand on my back. "Come here, little sister." Jasper murmured when I buried my face in his chest. "It's okay. Can you tell me what happened?" Emmett was silent behind me, but his presence was just as comforting…until I processed Jasper's question.

I remembered Carlisle's departure from my room, the aching abandonment I still felt. "He's mad at me." I choked out, and Emmett hand paused on my back where it was making calming circles.

"Who's mad at you, Bells?" Emmett mumbled, resuming the circles on my back.

"Carlisle." I managed to sob.

"What? Why would he be angry with you?" Jasper asked softly.

I barely heard his question. "Where is he?"

"He's…on his way to the school I think…he went to talk to Esme. But why would he be angry with you?" He repeated the question.

I'd never been left alone in the house before…this just proved my fears. "He left me." I whimpered and Jasper pulled back, tilting my face back.

"What? No…he was downstairs when we got here…he didn't leave you alone." His confused voice was comforting and I closed my eyes, the tears falling once again, and Jasper touched my cheek.

"Bella, what's going on? What happened? Edward said you got sick in class?" Emmett asked me worriedly.

"Where's Edward?" Jasper sighed.

"With Alice and Rose at the school…Carlisle called Esme…but Bella, tell me what's going on. We can't help unless we know what's got you so upset." I continued to sob softly, shaking my head as tears poured from my eyes. I couldn't tell him. There was no way I could face my brothers with this…evidence that I was going insane.

"How's she feel?" Emmett's worried voice was just loud enough for me to hear.

"She's…ashamed….afraid…hurting." He sighed. "Bella, I don't understand. Can you talk to me?"

"Please, Bella." Emmett asked me softly, and I felt Jasper manipulating me silently, my mood calming even more until I couldn't feel any trace of sadness and my eyes dried. My breath stopped hitching and I was able to breathe normally.

"Jazz…" Emmett's reproving tone confused me, but I didn't care enough to ask.

"We can't do anything until she tells us." Jasper was defensive. "Bella, what happened in Calculus?" He asked me again, looking into my eyes and grimacing a little, his own eyes guilty, hut I couldn't think of any reason why not to tell him.

"Lauren…" I mumbled, my eyes closing against my will…though I didn't have much will left. "She said…you were all waiting…I was going to snap…said I was crazy…ought to just finish the job…" I flinched a bit at the words, but then the pain was completely gone. "She said everyone knew…I was screwing the Cullen brothers…and even Carlisle…she keeps saying that. Everyone thinks I'm sleeping with you …all three of you." I bit my lip, knowing there was something wrong with that sentence, but unable to think of what it was. Behind me there was a soft growl, but I wasn't afraid of Emmett…he would protect me from Lauren. "She said I must like it…didn't ask for help…reminded me of Jeremy…Mark…my mom…couldn't breathe."

"Bella, did you have a panic attack in class?" Emmett's strained voice was confused, and I shook my head a little, feeling like I was in a fog.

"No…" I scooted a little closer to Jasper and he let me, stroking my hair and keeping me firmly in a cloud of calm. "I thought I was, so I went to the bathroom…too hard to breathe." Exhaustion seemed to settle around me and I blinked slowly, finding it harder and harder to open my eyes. "But I scratched my arm…it made it better…couldn't let you see…Jasper." I was so tired, but I felt gentle hands pulling my sleeves back, then muted curses. "I was scared…wanted to do it again. It made me better…didn't want you to know…" I yawned, nestling between my two cold brothers, knowing that it was impossible to find a safer place. "…that I was crazy. Carlisle was mad…he doesn't want me anymore…he's tired of me. I couldn't hurt Edward…again" Blackness surrounded me as my voice trailed off, the cold safety cradling me as I rested, feeling perfectly content.

It was dark out when I woke again, and there was only one other person in the room…lying rigidly on the bed beside me. I realized that I was in someone's arms, but it wasn't Jasper anymore. "Bella?" I flinched at Carlisle's voice…the raw pain made my heart ache. Before I could start begging for his forgiveness…and beg I would, he crushed me gently to him. "Oh sweetheart." He half sobbed, rocking me back and forth. Moving an arm to wrap around him, I realized that my wrist was wrapped in what felt like a bandage, and it no longer hurt. "There is nothing that you could ever do to make me not want you." He murmured into my hair, the words bursting forth as though he'd been waiting anxiously to utter them. "Don't ever think that, Bella. I would never give up on you."

"You were so mad at me." I whimpered, not willing to let him go to get a look at his expression.

"I was not mat at you." He corrected me gently. "I was furious with the school, with the students there…with myself for not realizing what was going on. I didn't realized how much they were hurting you…even with the others around... But I was not mad at you…and I didn't leave you. Not for a second. I was downstairs the whole time…and I came back up to check on you every two minutes." He chuckled without humor. "I'm so sorry Bella." He said gently. "I never meant for you to think that I was angry with you…I thought you didn't want me in here with you."

"I'm sorry." I managed, pressing against him as closely as I could and resting my head against him. "Please, I'm so sorry. I won't do it again." I whimpered. "I'm not crazy." I tried to tell him, but it came out sounding like a pained sob.

"Oh Bella." His hands rested on my back as he rocked me back and forth. "I never thought you were, sweetheart. I know you were frightened…" He sighed, sitting up slowly and pulling me with him. "Bella, you really scared me." He touched my face for a moment, leaning in and kissing my forehead, then took my wrist in his hands. "And Edward was so worried." He wiped at my eye where tears I didn't notice had fallen. "I'm not trying to make you feel guilty." He told me gently. "I just want you to know…we love you so much. All of us…Edward is frantic…Rosalie and Alice are still keeping him hostage at the school." He smiled a little ruefully. "I didn't want to tell him what had happened….I just had Emmett and Jasper come. But Bella, we need to talk about this." I swallowed hard, staring down at my lap. "Have you ever done anything like this before?" He asked softly. I shook my head, ignoring the tears that fell down my face. "You can tell me if you have. I won't be mad, I promise."

"I pinched my hand, or my leg." I mumbled. "It helped me calm down. But it wasn't enough this time." He nodded slowly, his hand tightening on mine.

"Bella, I don't think I need to tell you how dangerous this is." He told me gently. "The longer you do this, the harder it is to stop…I've seen people die from self inflicted wounds...they cut too deep, and they've hidden it so well…no one is there to save them." He swallowed hard, something I knew was unnecessary. "Bella, please, please…" He touched my face, looking into my eyes. "…please promise me that you will call for us if you feel like this again. Please, Bella." He begged me, his eyes tortured. "If there is ever a time that you feel the urge to hurt yourself, call one of us. Immediately. Any of us will come. Any time. No matter where you are, we'll get to you. Okay? Please, promise me." I swallowed back the tears, but they kept coming. "You're my daughter. I can't lose you, Bella."

"I promise." I mumbled, nodding a little. He smiled weakly at me, but I knew he was still worried.

"Thank you." He kissed my forehead again, then held me against him for a long minute, his arms keeping me safe. "I'm going to call Esme…I need to talk to her and Edward…and Alice and Rosalie. Emmett and Jasper will stay with you."


	13. Chapter 13

Edward waited in the school parking lot with Alice, Rosalie, and Esme, standing stock still while his sisters watched him anxiously. Alice, who had seen everything in her visions, was focusing her thoughts on the weather while Esme, the only one who'd spoken to Carlisle, thought only of her lesson planning, neither willing to tell him what had happened, and Rosalie was just as frustrated as he was. "Is she hurt? Will you just tell us that?" She finally snapped, looking at Alice who sighed and nodded her head, still predicting the weather. Edward felt his heart ache as he thought of his Bella lying on the bed, crying so painfully while his father ordered him away. He wanted to hold her or soothe her or something…anything to help. He couldn't bear to see her in so much pain. "Is it bad?" Alice nodded again and he heard himself groan, putting his head in his hands. "Can Carlisle fix it?" Alice didn't answer this time, biting her lip and crossing her arms.

"Alice!" He cried, his tone pleading. "Please, Alice. You have to tell me. What's wrong with her." Alice flinched at the pain in his voice and Esme walked over to him and embraced him.

"Edward, she'll be okay." She promised her son. "Just wait for Carlisle. He's coming here now. She's going to be okay." The sun was long gone from the sky and they all watched as the final light at the school was extinguished and a man…the one they were waiting for, emerged from the school. Alice growled deep in her throat, and immediately Edward followed suit, ignoring Esme's reprimanding look. If his little sister had something against this man, it probably had something to do with Bella and he was all for terrifying him…or killing him. Either would do.

"Mrs. Cullen?" Principal Greene strode toward them in surprise, a briefcase under his arm. They could see him perfectly, but he squinted a little in the dim light, his heart rate accelerating, a human response to stress when they were confronted by several people in the dark. "I was just finishing up some paperwork. How…"

"This is your fault!" Edward caught his sister's arm before she could reach him, whispering her name urgently. He may have wanted to kill the man, but his mother's permission was sort of important. Besides, Carlisle would be disappointed…and Bella horrified. "Esme told you!" The spikey haired girl cried, leaning against Edward's grip on her arm. "She told you that something was wrong and you were too much of a fu…"

"Alice!" She bit her lip, freezing at her adopted father's tone. Edward glanced over at his father, holding to her arm, and met the man's furious gaze, surprised to hear his thoughts bordering on murderous. But of course they had to keep up appearances, although he hated feigning anger at his daughter. "Edward, Alice, Rosalie, please wait in the car." The three of them gave him mutinous glares, but his tone wasn't to be argued with, and they all slouched in the back seat like upset children, Edward waiting for his sisters to climb into the car before joining them, listening as closely as he could to Carlisle's veiled thoughts.

'Stop, Edward. Please. Let me explain later, alright? We need privacy.' Edward took a deep breath, then focused on Rosalie's thoughts as pointedly as he could, doing his best to honor his father's wishes. If he needed this time to talk to the principal, then Edward would give it to him. He heard Esme sigh and watched her lace her fingers through Carlisle's as he came to stand by her. "Mr. Greene. We need to have a serious discussion." The principal nodded, glancing over Edward, Alice, and Rosalie in the car nervously. "They'll be fine out here…we need to talk privately." The principal gestured wordlessly for the young doctor and his wife to follow him to his office, his thoughts bewildered, and Edward focused once again on Rosalie.

"Think of something interesting, Rose." He murmured. She grinned and he grimaced when Emmett popped into view in her mind, removing his shirt and climbing…

'Please hurry, Carlisle.'

I awoke once more in someone's arms…the fuzzy calm covered me like a blanket and I smiled when I recognized Jasper, though I hadn't been aware of falling asleep. "Why'd you let me fall asleep again?" I grumbled, stretching out in his arms.

He laughed. "I came upstairs to ask if you wanted to eat something and you were already asleep. I didn't exactly let you…but I didn't want to wake you when you seemed so tired."

"Time is it?" I mumbled, rubbing at my eyes.

"About seven…you've only been asleep for a half hour. Want to sleep some more?" I shook my head and sat up, rubbing at my eyes, pausing when I felt the bandage on my arm rub against my skin. He took ahold of my hand before I could contemplate the wrapping on my arm and tugged me to my feet, his movements careful. "Are you hungry? I can make you something?"

"I can cook. Thanks." I yawned once more and he waited, standing patiently while I made my way to the door beside him, his arm wrapped around me as we began walking down the stairs. "Where's Emmett?"

"Living room."

"And…everyone else?"

"Still at the school." He hesitated for a second. "Carlisle and Esme are talking to the principal." I sighed, blushing slightly, and he touched my face, cooling my heated skin. "Hey, don't be upset." He urged me softly. "This isn't your fault. Alright?" I didn't answer, choosing instead to stare at the floor. Sighing, he tugged me forward once more, leading me into the kitchen. Emmett joined us after a minute while I began heating up a can of soup and assembling a sandwich to heat on the stovetop, plopping down on the barstool and leaning forward to watch me, well aware that I hated having an audience when I was cooking…it made me nervous.

"Whatcha making?" Emmett asked cheerfully.

"Sandwich." I mumbled, turning the burner on and buttering the bread to brown it. I took a deep breath, my back toward my brothers, and placed a pan on the burner, waiting for it to heat up. My hands shook and I bit down on my lip, wishing it would stop…that I could understand what was going on…why I couldn't calm down from these strange panics or why I couldn't lift myself from the numbness and pain that sometimes surrounded me. 'Nothing is wrong.' I told myself firmly. 'Just stop. Stop freaking out all the time. You're cooking. Emmett and Jasper are in the room. There is nothing that can hurt you with them here. Don't feel guilty. Don't be upset. Just act normal for once!'

"Okay, let me do it." Jasper, apparently reacting to my emotions, stepped forward and started to move me toward the counter, but I jerked away, hot with sudden irritation.

"I'm fine, Jasper." I snapped, willing it to be true. His eyes widened a little, and then Emmett was behind me, his arms carefully going around waist and moving mea away from the hot stove. "Emmett, get off!" I snarled, trying to pull away, but he turned me around and held my arms in his firm grip, staring at me with an unreadable expression. "Let me go!" I just wanted to cook my dinner! I didn't need Jasper to do it! I wasn't an invalid or sick or anything. There was nothing wrong with me! I just…couldn't stop shaking. Emmett sighed, somehow transporting me to the living room and sitting me on the sofa with him sitting a foot away from me, his hands in the air like a criminal surrendering.

"There. I'm not touching you." He told me quietly. "Calm down, Bella." He lowered his arms, and I felt my anger burn out as suddenly as it had come, leaving me completely bewildered. "It's okay, Bella." He assured, me, moving closer once my shoulders slumped and I stared at him in horror. He pulled me to his side. "Don't cry, Bella. I'm not angry…yell at me all you want, I can take it." He teased, wiping a tear I hadn't realized was falling away with his thumb. "It's okay. I think Carlisle's having you stay home for a while, okay? You don't have to go back. You don't have to see any of them again. They can't do anything to you. You're safe, little sister. Jasper just wanted to help…he knows you're uspet." He soothed me, rubbing my back, and I realized I was sobbing, holding on to his shirt. "Okay, calm Bella. Breathe…there you go." His quiet words calmed me as he stayed by my side.

I didn't hear Jasper come in the room, but I smelled the food, and felt his hand on my back. "Sorry." I mumbled to him, too ashamed for words that I'd turned on him, but he didn't seem angry…on the contrary, he chuckled softly.

"You're fine, darlin. You don't need to apologize to me. Here. Eat." He placed the food on my lap and they kept me between them as Emmett turned on the TV and rubbed my shoulder with his arm, letting me eat and calm down.

"Jasper, what's going on?" I asked after a few minutes during a commercial break. He turned at my impossibly small voice and regarded me seriously.

"Bella you've been wound up too tight since you insisted on going back. It was bound to be too much at some point. You couldn't handle it anymore…and that b*tch didn't help matters…regardless, it's best that you stay home for a little while. Carlisle and Esme are going to sort it out. Edward can stay home with you, or one of us, or anyone you want." I bit my lip, staring at the couch between us until his hand was on my chin. "You're wrong." He told me. "You're so wrong, Bella. It doesn't mean you're weak. It means you're human." He chuckled a little, mussing my hair. "I went through the same thing, you know." He confessed. "After I left the clan I traveled with...there were days when I didn't know if I could go on…I'd get so angry with everyone I could barely stand to look at them. Alice and Carlisle and Esme…they saved me, Bella. And we'll save you too. Every time."

"What do you mean, not coming back!" Principal Green stared at Carlisle who held Esme's hand tightly in his own and entertained a few violent daydreams, letting his wife's hand keep him grounded.

"I am not allowing her to come back to this school…not unless something is done about this situation." Carlisle fought the urge to snarl at the man. "I want Lauren Mallory removed from this school and the bullying dealt with! My daughter can't even go to her classes without being tormented by this…girl and her followers."

"Dr. Cullen, " He began in a placating tone, unaware of how close he was getting to being in true physical danger, but the doors were thrown open and the principal stared at the new man in surprise.

"Chief Swan? What…what are you doing here?"

"Carlisle called me. Said you were letting that Mallory girl hurt my daughter?"

"There has been no fighting between the girls…"

"Nothing physical." Esme corrected. "But Lauren has been spreading horrible rumors about Bella, making her feel unsafe…she told Bella that she should kill herself." Esme stared coldly at the principal who stared worriedly at the police chief. "Do you not consider that bullying?"

"You let kids get away with that kind of behavior here?" He asked angrily. ""You let her hurt my little girl? I could press charges for this!"

Mr. Greene shook his head rapidly, putting his hands up. "I can assure you, Chief Swan, that this will be dealt with. Bella will be perfectly safe…"

"Oh I can assure you that Bella will be perfectly safe….at home. She is not coming back to this school until I decide…if I decide, that she is healthy enough, physically and mentally, to do so. I will not risk losing her. The girl is resorting to harming herself to cope with the bullying…and that will not go any further." Carlisle glanced over at Charlie's paling face and sighed. He hadn't meant to tell the police chief that way.

The principal lifted his hands, shaking his head and speaking soothingly to the police chief. "I will speak to Mrs. Mallory…and Lauren will be facing suspension from school…along with anyone else involved in this…bullying, Chief Swan. We will investigate this matter until it is resolved. We take bullying very seriously in this school." He nodded to them. "Just fax me the paperwork, Dr. Cullen, and we'll have her assignments sent to her."

"No need. I'll take them to her every day and bring them back." Esme told him shortly, tugging at her husband's hand. As much as she'd like to kill the blind moron, they couldn't exactly do so in front of Charlie. And so the three exited the office, pausing in the hallway.

"Thank you again, Charlie, for coming." Carlisle nodded to the police chief who, despite his disapproval of his parenting style, he was grateful to. He'd known that the principal would take matters more seriously if a police officer was involved…he wondered how seriously the man would have taken it had he known vampires were involved.

"Well, I have to admit I was surprised when you called me yesterday…but…it's really that bad?" Carlisle sighed, hating to keep piling things on the man who'd already all but lost his daughter...of course that had been his own fault, but Carlisle still felt for him.

"Bella experienced panic attacks after the shooting….according to what we learned from Renee, she's been having them occasionally since her childhood. But as a coping mechanism, she would pinch herself…and that escalated today, brought on by the confrontation with Lauren Mallory." Charlie nodded, his jaw tight.

"Can I see her, Carlisle?" He looked up at the doctor pleadingly. "I know…we didn't part on the best of terms, and I know she probably…I just…I need to know she's okay."

Carlisle put a hand on Charlie's shoulder. "Let me talk to her about it first. I don't want to spring it on her…I'll call you tomorrow and let you know. Alright?" Charlie nodded, his face grim as he headed for his cruiser, and Carlisle led his wife to his car where their three sulking teenagers still sat. Edward glared at him from the back seat and Carlisle motioned all of them forward. "We need to have a discussion." He spoke softly, glancing around the now deserted parking lot. There was no one around to hear, he was sure of that. Edward glanced between himself, Esme, and Alice. True to his father's request, he'd kept himself from eavesdropping. "Edward, I know you're upset, but you're about to be more upset, and I need you to stay calm and listen.

He waited until his son had visibly relaxed and then addressed all of his children. "I've already spoken to Jasper and Emmett, who are with Bella now. I'm pulling her from school for a while…maybe indefinitely. She nearly experienced a panic attack in class…and resorted to scratching herself quite badly to calm down." He waited until Edward had taken a breath before continuing. "She was afraid to tell you, Edward, or any of us, so she tried to hide it. The near panic attack made her sick as well, which partially explains her behavior earlier. She needs to be in a stress free environment for a while to help her calm down…school has been too much for her after everything…dealing with her separation from her family, her trouble with her father and those men…Lauren and the people who are hurting her…she can't cope with everything right now."

"I'm staying with her." Edward declared softly, but Carlisle shook his head.

"Bella will decide who stays with her…whoever she needs to feel comfortable will stay. Nothing is going to threaten her, right now. Understood?" He looked at his three teens who all nodded solemnly. "Good. Alice?"

"Jasper and Emmett have her. She's okay for today…she'll want to see Charlie." He nodded, crossing his arms thoughtfully.

"I'll speak to her regardless. I need to tell her about school…"

"She won't put up a fight…not yet. She's scared." Alice sighed, searching the uncertain future. "She doesn't want to be near Lauren…or the guys from the football team…she's going to tell me that they make her uncomfortable…they stare at her like…those men did." Edward growled beside her and Carlisle shook his head.

"Edward, you know we can't just kill everyone that hurts her."

"I beg to differ." Rosalie murmured irritably, and Carlisle had to smirk at that.

"Well, we shouldn't."

"Will it help her to speak to Charlie?" Esme spoke up.

"I think so…" Alice thought for a moment. "She's been missing him I think, so she'll try. It might upset her a little, but in the end, it's better that she tries to mend that relationship…before she doesn't have the chance."

I kept my head against Jasper's shoulder, enjoying a few minutes of pure relaxation, even if I knew they were artificially created thanks to Jasper. But Emmett helped, keeping his hand on my arm or staying close, his presence an undeniable promise that I was safe here. When a car pulled into the driveway, I tensed, looking up at the window as headlights shone in the driveway. Emmett waited for a few seconds, allowing Edward time to race through the door, them moved from my side just in time for Edward to pull me into his arms, his movements urgent as he held me, his arms tight around my back. Jasper stood as well, heading outside with Emmett….presumably to talk to Carlisle, but Edward didn't let go. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "I'm so sorry…oh Bella…I should have…something…anything, I should have done anything…" He stopped me when I tried to apologize, rocking me back and forth and I realized that I was in his lap. "No, you have nothing to apologize for. I'm supposed to protect you, Bella." He cried. "I just want you to be safe." He pulled back then, lifting a hand to my face. "You're okay." He spoke more to assure himself than to comfort me.

"I'm okay." I repeated, smiling weakly. He reached down and took my arm, his hand moving over the bandage that Carlisle must have applied while I slept. The door opened and shut, but the only person to enter the room was Carlisle, and I figured the others had gone upstairs. His face was solemn and tired and I wanted to cry…it was my fault he looked like that. I was the one causing him pain. He caught me watching him and his eyes softened, his mouth turning up in a kind smile, and he took the seat Jasper had vacated on the sofa. "Carlisle, I'm…"

He held up a hand, then let it rest on my shoulder. "I know, Bella, but you don't have to be. No one is upset with you. I just think a change in routine is called for. I'm pulling you from that school, Bella." He paused, gaging my reaction, but I only nodded. I couldn't argue with him…it wasn't like he was wrong. "I think it would be most beneficial for you to study at home." He squeezed my shoulder and watched me carefully and I realized that he was worried about my reaction.

"Alright." I answered softly, dropping my eyes to the sofa. Edward tightened his arms around me and kissed the back of my head where his head rested briefly.

"I'm not punishing you, sweetheart." He said gently. "But I'm not going to send you somewhere where I can't guarantee your safety." I nodded, and he cupped my cheek.

"I know." I assured him. "I understand." He sighed, wrapping his arms around me, resting on hand on my back and the other on the back of Edward's head.

"I love you." He told me…although I had a feeling he spoke to both of us. "You are my child, and I will keep you safe." He relaxed his hold after a second, pulling away and taking my hand. "Now, I spoke to Charlie today."


	14. Chapter 14

"Charlie?" I asked in surprise, glancing back at Edward.

"Yes." He squeezed my hand. "I spoke to him yesterday and he came to see the principal today…after another phone call. I figured Mr. Greene would be more willing to listen to the chief of police." I nodded. I could understand that. "He's very worried about you Bella…and he wants to see you." I stared at him uncomprehending for a minute, then looked down at the sofa once more. "You don't have to." He told me quickly. "I'm not going to invite him here if you don't want to see him…"

I glanced up at him, then took a deep breath. "Can I got to his house?" Carlisle's eyes widened, and I saw a flicker of hurt that let me know that he'd misconstrued my words. "To see him. Can I go there?"

"Of course…one of us can take you whenever you'd like." I didn't ask to drive myself…I doubted any of them wanted to leave me alone at this point.

I spent the rest of the night being held by Edward who didn't seem quite ready to let go. Occasionally his hands would brush against the bandage on my arm and he would flinch. Once he brought my hand up to his lips and kissed my palm. "I love you." He told me quietly, pressing his lips against my hand.

"I love you too….I'm sorry." I'd managed to get in since he wouldn't let me properly apologize. He shook his head but didn't argue with me, instead moved to kiss my cheek.

The next morning Carlisle came into my room alone, asking Edward to wait downstairs, and, sitting on the bed beside me, asked me if I wanted anyone to stay with me. Of course, he would be at home for a few days, but he couldn't take off indefinitely, and he planned on going to work through the night, which I hated, because he'd be away from Esme all the time. It was that fact just as much as my own desire to be with my love that had me requesting Edward. He nodded as though he'd suspected as much and explained to me that himself, Edward, and Esme would be my tutors if I needed help with any of my work. I still had my books and Esme would bring my assignments.

He left me alone to get ready then, and I joined them downstairs as the others were leaving for school. Alice kissed my cheek, Rosalie patted my head, Jasper touched my shoulder, his touch bringing with it an almost tangible wave of love and affection, and Emmett hugged me fiercely before they all left. Esme came up to me and pulled me into her arms last, kissing me on the forehead. "I'll see you later, sweetheart." She told me softly, pulling away with a fond smile and then turned to leave. While Carlisle following to say goodbye a little more privately, Edward took my hand and led me into the kitchen.

"At least I don't have to go back to High School." He grinned, trying to lighten the mood, and I laughed a little. "I couldn't stand it without you….I don't know how I managed before." He admitted, cracking an egg and dropping it into a skillet where it began to sizzle. Cheese and peppers went next and I realized he was making an omelet. "So, we can study for a while…you can get through the homework, and then, if you like, we can go see Charlie. Carlisle's going to call him in a minute…he's anxious to see you." I glanced down at the bandage on my wrist sadly, wondering if I could manage to hide it. "Ah, I need to take care of that." Edward slid the omelet onto a plate and sat it before me, grinning when my stomach growled loudly. "But you should eat first." He sat beside me and smiled while I ate, watching me with the same fascination that always showed on his face when he watched me. "Acceptable?"

"You could be a chef." I mumbled around a bite of hot egg. "Mmm, how do you do this? You don't even eat! I can't cook this well!" He chuckled.

"I'm good at everything." He teased, nuzzling his nose against my cheek, and I turned and kissed him quickly.

"You are."

It didn't surprise me that Edward was an excellent tutor…I knew that already. He helped me through the parts of whatever subject I didn't understand, his patience never failing, and let me do the work that I understood on my own. He had a book of his own, one of Carlisle's medical texts, and while I worked his eyes skimmed the pages. I worked until lunch time when he asked if I was ready to see Charlie. I wavered for a moment, swallowing hard at the thought. The fact that I wanted desperately to see Charlie did not negate the fact that I was still afraid…afraid of what he thought of me…of what he would say. I didn't think he knew anything that had happened during Phil and Renee's visits, and I wasn't sure what all Carlisle had told him.

Before we left, I told Edward that I was going to go talk to Carlisle, which he accepted with a nod and sat back down, picking up where he'd left off on his reading while I headed for the stairs. Carlisle had come down every once in a while to check on us, touching my shoulder or Edward's, obviously impressed by the fact that we were actually working every time he came down. But I certainly didn't plan on acting up…I felt a little like I was on thin ice…any wrong move…any misbehavior on my part and they would finally get angry like they should have been in the first place…like Renee had been every time. I stopped at his partially open office door, but before I could knock, he called to me.

"Hello Bella. Come on in. What did you need to talk about?" He had placed a bookmark in his book, pushed the stack of files to the side, and had his medical bag on the floor beside him. Curiosity got the better of me and I looked at the stack of files.

"What are you doing?"

He chuckled and beckoned for me to come closer. "I had some charts I needed to look through, and I was comparing the symptoms one of the patients at the hospital is having with something I saw in the eighteen fifties…or sixties…that's what I've been trying to clarify actually." I nodded, my eyes stopping on the large bound book on his desk. "I'll let you look, later if you'd like. I was under the impression that you had something else on your mind." I blushed a little and stood across from him at his desk.

"Yea…actually. I was wondering…what have you told Charlie?" He sighed, leaning back in his chair so he could look at me.

"As little as I could." He said quietly. "Of course he already knew about the abuse from your childhood. I told him a little about the panic attacks, and the basics of what's going on at school." I nodded, crossing my arms as I stared at his desk. "Was there any of that you would have liked for me to keep from him?" He asked seriously, and I shook my head.

"No…thank you…for not telling him everything." Carlisle nodded slowly.

"I don't believe it's my place to tell him everything…I only told him what I did because of circumstances."

"Is he angry with me?" I asked softly, biting into my lip. Carlisle moved to my side, cupping my cheek in his hand and touching my lip with his thumb until I quit.

"Not at all." He promised. "He's worried, and he misses you. He's rather afraid that you're angry with him, however." I looked up in surprise and he smiled down at me. "He hasn't been able to see you in a while, and he's worried you're still upset about what happened with Jacob…and then after he came to see you when you were released from the hospital…" I nodded, remembering that all too vividly. "I'm not going to tell you what to do, Bella. This is up to you. I can tell him that you can't see him today. No one will blame you."

"But I should see him." I said quietly. "I miss him."

"Then go and see him. Edward will be with you the whole time." He kissed my forehead, holding me tightly for a moment. "I'll call him and let him know you're on your way. "

When we pulled up to Charlie's house, I felt butterflies swarm in my stomach. I hadn't been back here since that day Jacob had hit me and I'd come here…after Charlie had laughed at me…after I'd moved in with Edward's, and now my, family. I sat stiffly in the cab of the car, staring at the front door. Alice and Jasper had come one night while Charlie was asleep and had collected everything I wanted from my room…which boiled down to a few books and things, since Alice had happily furnished me with a new wardrobe and an entire department store's worth of beauty products that Edward assured me I didn't need and Alice argued couldn't hurt. Carlisle had worked everything out with him at some point during the month after I'd moved in, and since I was eighteen, I didn't need parental permission for anything from school or to receive medical treatment.

To his credit, Edward didn't try to rush me. He sat silently at my side, his hand firm around mine, and stared straight ahead as though he hadn't a care in the world. I wanted to ask Charlie was thinking but I couldn't bring myself to do so. He must have heard us pull in. 'He's your dad.' I told myself firmly. 'Well, biologically. And you still have Carlisle and Esme and everyone else…this is just Charlie. I've known him my whole life. Edward is with me. I'm not afraid.' Taking a deep breath, I turned and started to open my door, but Edward had appeared on the passenger side, opening the door for me and offering me a hand, the old fashioned gesture making me smile. He acted as though he hadn't noticed the fact hat we'd sat in the car for a good ten minutes after arriving, taking my hand in his and leading me up to the door wordlessly, knocking a few times and stepping back when Charlie appeared at the door.

He opened the screen door and looked at me for a long moment, making me grateful that I had put on a long sleeved shirt after Edward had removed the bandage from my arm, gently applying medicine to the faded scratches and then holding me tightly for a few minutes, his embrace protective. "Hey Bells." Charlie finally spoke, opening the door and grinning at me in that familiar way. "Hello Edward. Come on in." Glad that his courtesy was being extended to Edward, I followed him inside, glancing around the room that hadn't changed…he wasn't starving and the house wasn't a mess…things weren't falling apart without me here, a realization that brought both relief and pain. Charlie paused awkwardly between the living room and kitchen and stared at us. "Ehm….so…thanks for coming...it's good to see you." I smiled a little, stepping forward and letting him put his arms around me. Edward stood back while we embraced.

"It's good to see you too, Dad." I mumbled, blinking back tears. "I missed you." He rubbed his hand on my back, then pulled away, keeping his hands on my shoulders, then paused, dropping his hands.

"Sorry…your arm…"

I laughed a little, shaking my head. "I barely notice anymore…Carlisle has good drugs." He chuckled, gesturing to the living room, and he sat down in one of the recliners while Edward and I sat on the sofa, my hand once again firmly encased in his. "So….how have you been?" I asked, leaning against Edward's cool arm.

"Oh good, I suppose. Not much work around here lately…"

"Maybe you should consider moving to Seattle." I teased. He laughed, shaking his head.

"You couldn't pay me enough, kid." He paused and looked briefly at Edward. "So how have you two been? How's life with the Cullens?"

"Great...everyone's been really kind." He nodded thoughtfully.

"You know…I talked to Carlisle…after that big brother of Edward's was shouting at me…"

"Sorry about that." I mumbled, blushing, but he shook his head.

"No, I deserved that, Bells. He was protecting you, and I can't fault him for that. Those are some good brother's you've got, Edward." Beside me, Edward nodded solemnly. "So um…Carlisle said…said you were having a hard time…said that you'd…that Renee…" He sighed in frustration, running a hand through his hair and I shook my head.

"Dad, we don't have to…"

"No, Bella, I do." He spoke loudly in his frustration and Edward tightened his hand around mine, rubbing my knuckle with his thumb…the place where I'd been injured after hitting Jacob. "You shouldn't have had to go through that…Renee shouldn't have been so…so god darned thoughtless. When the courts ruled in her favor, I thought you'd be okay! I knew she was prone to forgetfulness and carelessness and…that's just who she is, but I never, for one second, thought she'd allow that to happen. If I'd have had any idea, Bella, I swear, I would never have allowed you to go with her. I'd have…moved to Arizona with you guys…"

"Dad…"

"I didn't know, Bella. I swear it. And with Jacob…I thought it was innocent. I never thought he'd really hurt you, or that you'd have any reason to be afraid…" I stood and knelt by his chair, reaching up and touching his arm, my vision blurry with unshed tears.

"Dad, I know." I whispered, leaning forward and putting my arms around him. "I didn't think you knew. I didn't want you to!"

"I know." He whispered. "I know, sweetheart. I just wish there was something…anything I could do. Talk to Renee or…"

"Don't bother." I mumbled, then instantly regretted it when he pulled away.

"Carlisle never did tell me how it went…with your mother."

It surprised me for a second that I instantly thought of Esme when he said that, and then I forced myself to focus. "Fine." I mumbled, immediately slipping back into the old habit, and felt Edward's anxious eyes on me as I stood, taking a step back from Charlie.

"I don't believe that for a second." He refuted softly when Edward reached out and caught my hand, pulling me to sit next to him. "What happened? What did she say?" He asked, seemingly dreading the answer, and Edward answered for me.

"It wasn't so much what she said." He answered simply. "It was her husband, however, who caused the most trouble."

"Phil? Really?"

"He…" Edward glanced at me, but I only stared at the floor, trying pointedly not to remember. "He called her…made some accusations." Immediately Charlie leaned forward.

"What kind of 'accusations?'" He growled.

"He said I was making it up…that I was hurting Mom and that I should know better." I didn't look up at Charlie as I spoke, suddenly wishing Jasper was there to take away the pain those words reminded me of, but Edward draped an arm around me, rubbing my shoulder and keeping me tucked safely against him.

"I think…that I'll make a couple of phone calls of my own." He said softly.

"Emmett and Jasper spoke with him." Edward informed him, and I looked up when Charlie gave a strained chuckle.

"Good. Those kids could put the fear of God in a man…there's something about that blonde one…" Edward laughed and even I had to smile at that, both of us knowing exactly what it was Charlie was referring to. "So…about this thing at school…" I stiffened, waiting for what was coming next. "Don't you worry about it Bella." I stared at him in surprise, not having expected that particular response. "Carlisle and I are going to take care of it. You just focus on your school work." I nodded dumbly, glancing over at Edward who only smiled at me. "So, have you looked at any colleges yet?"

Carlisle glanced up when he heard Edward's car pull into the driveway, wishing that he had Jasper's gift…he would give anything to know how it had gone…how his daughter was handling it…if she was okay. But he wouldn't' intrude…if she wanted to come to him, she would. If not…then he would just get it secondhand from Edward later. Opening the next medical file on the stack, he read through the information, trying not to focus on the sound of her footsteps as she entered the house, or how Edward said something about homework…how she told him she'd be right back. 'She's here…she's back. She didn't decide to stay with her father…I'm being ridiculous.' He told himself as he listened to her climb the stairs, her particular footsteps, louder than the rest of his family's, and the strong scent of her blood that had permeated his home both assuring him of the fact that she was there…that she was home and safe. 'She's my daughter. Mine forever. I have nothing to be jealous or anxious about…she…' His thoughts cut off when she rapped her knuckles against his door, and before he knew it, he was holding her in his arms, pressing his nose against her hair and inhaling her familiar floral scent. 'She came back.'


	15. Chapter 15

Carlisle's reaction had been…strange. Well…maybe not strange, I reasoned from the circle of his arms where I rested my head against his chest…but…unexpected. It wasn't that uncommon for him to hug me. No, it wasn't uncommon at all. Unlike Charlie, Carlisle and Esme seemed to take every opportunity to hold me, to put their hand on my shoulder or otherwise reassure me through physical touch. It was surprisingly pleasant…it reminded me of Edward, holding my hand, putting an arm around me…or of Emmett and Jasper pulling me into bear hugs or lifting me in their arms; even Alice and Rosalie would hug me, kiss my cheek, or pat my head when I was around them. 'Maybe that's normal…maybe my family was the weird one.' I thought as I wrapped my arms around my adoptive father. 'Maybe everyone else shows affection like this.' I had noticed that his whole family was like this with each other as well. Emmett and Edward would often hug Alice or ruffle her hair, and I'd seen Edward kiss Rosalie's cheek more than once. Not to mention Carlisle's penchant for hugging Alice and Rosalie when she allowed it.

This tendency showed me in no uncertain terms that this family was close. Even outside of the pairing off, they all loved one another deeply. And this, it seemed, had completely extended to me. "How was it?" Carlisle asked softly, pulling away just enough so that he could see me, but keeping me close enough so that he could hold me again in a second's notice.

"Okay…Charlie was happy to see me." He nodded, smiling a bit. "It was good to see him." I confessed. "I missed him." He pulled me close again, briefly this time. "He apologized…I knew that he didn't know what was going on…but…I'm glad he apologized." I felt wrong saying it, as though it were bad of me to want an apology from my father…something I so rarely got, but Carlisle nodded seriously.

"He certainly owed you an apology. I'm glad you were able to work things out with your father." He hesitated, smiling down at me gently. "You know, if you wanted to spend time with your father…you're always welcome here but…if you wanted some time at home…"

I realized immediately what he was saying….and how much it hurt him to say that. 'He's not trying to get rid of me.' I knew that with complete certainty. I wondered what had happened….only a month ago I would have assumed that I'd overstayed my welcome. But no…now his reaction made complete sense. He didn't want to lose me. He wanted me to stay. But he also wanted me to be happy, and if letting me go back to Charlie would achieve that, then he'd do it. I lunged forward, throwing my arms around him, and smiled a bit as I pressed my face against him.

"I am home." I mumbled, laughing a little when his arms tightened around me and his lips pressed against my hair. "You guys are my home."

Jasper glanced over at Emmett. School was boring without Bella or Edward around, and Emmett was doodling in his notebook. Jasper wondered briefly how they'd survived without their little human sister around to protect and to keep them entertained. Their biology teacher droned on and for a second, Jasper thought maybe he should pay attention. 'I've never studied anatomy before…it could come in handy if something were to happen to Bella.' He smirked a little when Emmett started grumbling in exasperation too quietly for anyone but Jasper to make anything out. 'Maybe I'll borrow one of Carlisle's books...and if she's still human when we leave, I'll think about majoring in that next.' They had lunch after this, then one more class and they could go home. Jasper was considering skipping gym, mostly because walking around the room five times wasn't his idea of a good time, and playing sports with the humans, with the exception of Bella, made him want to tear his hear out. Much to his surprise, doing anything with Bella was fun. He'd found that playing chess with her, despite the fact that she was slow and quite bad at the game, was one of his favorite things to do. He could never be bored with her, he realized. He found it extremely difficult to be angry with her. Like Alice and Esme, he felt only affection and fondness for her. Her emotions were fascinating…well, they had been until recently when they turned painful. During the month after she'd moved in, he'd often sat in the same room with her, soaking in her happiness or amusement contentedly. And then Lauren had started…

Lauren wasn't at school, so he assumed that the principal had finally done something. Carlisle had called Charlie in to speak to the principal and supposedly he was going to do something about the b*tch. However, there was still the football players…not all of them, but a handful who would watch Bella as she went about her day, their emotions making him sick. Once he'd nearly attacked them…the lustful pigs were whispering among themselves as he'd walked his sister to gym, and one, the boy who she'd confronted in the cafeteria on her first day back, had bet his friend twenty dollars that he could 'nail the Cullen boy's slut.' But Bella had grabbed his hand, reminding him that he was in public and he didn't want to rip anyone apart in front of her…the poor girl would have even more nightmares. That thought alone kept him from attacking as he'd squeezed her hand and promised not to do anything.

But yesterday on their way from the history classroom, the team members in their class had pressed around them, their eyes on Bella, and Jasper had stepped between one of them and his sister when he'd felt her mounting anxiety, guarding her back and meeting the boy's eyes. The guy had smirked at first, brave, surrounded by his friends, but then Jasper had sent him a wave of terror so powerful that he'd thought the boy might cry. Grinning, Jasper had followed his brother upstairs as Bella's emotions had all but attacked him, moving back and forth too rapidly for him to keep up with.

The bell rang, pulling him out of his daze, and he sighed as the emotional climate of the classroom shifted violently, everyone's excitement and anticipation and nervousness and elation and a million other things hitting him at once. He clenched his jaw…he'd been too deep in thought to brace himself, and he fought to build his wall once more. "You okay?" Emmett had a hand on his shoulder, his emotions purposefully calm and steady, giving Jasper something to grab on to.

"Yea." He stood, throwing his bag over his arm. "Thanks." He mumbled. Their teacher approached, glancing around to make sure the room was empty, and stared at the two of them. Jasper felt his worry and eased it a little, wondering what the man could want.

"Mr. Cullen. Mr. Hale? The principal spoke to me this morning…is Isabella alright?" Emmett glanced at Jasper in surprise. "Your father had a meeting with the principal last night…and he told all of the teachers that she was…having emotional problems?" Jasper felt a wave of annoyance at he principal, but nodded.

"She's okay. Carlisle wants her to study at home for a while…we're not sure if she's coming back." The teacher nodded, his face grim, and Jasper smiled a little. The man was truly concerned. "Carlisle is staying home with her today. She'll be fine." He nodded, and both boys left the classroom to meet their mates in the lunchroom. Emmett grinned when he spotted Rosalie, and Alice popped up at Jasper's side, lacing her arm through his. He grinned down at her, placing a hand on hers. Alice had the unique ability to capture his interest fully, her emotions swirling around him in a comforting circle…until they were blocked by a boy in a football jersey.

"Hey Cullen? Where's Bella?" He sneered, and Jasper was enveloped in cruel amusement and a hint of lust.

'Levi…I think his name is Levi.' Jasper thought as he lunged, grabbing the boy by the throat and slamming him against the wall. He drenched the boy with terror, sending it in a circle to all the boys who'd laughed at the remark, and made sure the teachers in the vicinity….. 'There really should be more teachers around', he thought absently, were too calm to investigate…putting them in a daze. Then again, he thought in irritation, they'd never done anything to help Bella, so maybe they wouldn't care.

"Don't kill him, Jazz." Alice said simply, crossing her arms at her side. Emmett approached the wall, grinning at the boy Jasper held by the throat, his grip just firm enough to keep him from screaming.

"Okay. Levi, right?" The boy opened his mouth but Jasper shook his head with a friendly smile, leaning forward so that only Levi could hear him. Emmett effectively blocked the other students, standing beside Alice, and Rosalie too a position beside Jasper. Thanks to Jasper's gift, everyone else was just worried enough to murmur and whisper, but no one thought to go for help. Then again, this was a novelty…usually the Cullens didn't associate with others. "No, don't speak to me. It's bad enough I have to touch you, you disgusting pig. Now, if you ever touch Bella, I will kill you. Slowly." He sighed when he caught Esme's scent…she would surely investigate if she felt him pushing emotions at her. "It would be in your best interests to leave her alone, and to spread the word to your friends. Or don't…I'd enjoy killing you." Releasing the boy who collapsed, clutching his neck and staring at Jasper in horror, the Cullens turned and continued on their way to the cafeteria. Esme approached as they walked by, and all four of them only gave her friendly smiles when she glared at them suspiciously and went to investigate the crowd of students.

Alice and Rosalie waved goodbye to their mates as they climbed into Rosalie's car and Emmett and Jasper climbed into Emmett's jeep. They'd told Jasper and Emmett that they were going shopping, which was the story they would tell Carlisle and Esme. But when they'd heard (hacked into the principal's email account and read) that Lauren's mother was taking her daughter to a mandatory counseling session…well the opportunity had been too great to pass up. Lauren's father worked until six, and her session lasted from three until five, so they had two hours…which was more than enough time.

It had been Rosalie's idea. Lauren's home didn't have a security system…the Cullens were the only family in the town that did, actually. Nor did they have any neighbors nearby. Their house backed up to a small grove of trees which would provide the perfect cover. Rosalie had been all for setting the house on fire, but Alice argued that punishing her parents wasn't really fair. Rosalie had retorted that the girl had learned it somewhere.

They parked a mile away at a grocery store, in the back of the parking lot, so that no cameras from the store would catch them. Then they began the short walk through the trees, then into the back door. Alice wanted to pick the lock. Rosalie went for the less subtle approach…breaking the window and climbing through. "You know, if Carlisle finds out…" Alice started, crossing her arms as she followed her sister through the window.

"Oh, I'll leave a couple of fifties on the table…that'll cover the window." She snapped, heading up the stairs with Alice on her heels.

Lauren's bedroom was disturbingly pink…Alice cringed at the canopy bed and the plethora of stuffed animals that covered it. Rosalie stroked a finger over the new computer thoughtfully, then lifting and carefully unplugging it, walked over to the window, opened it, and dropped the machine, grinning at the quiet crash. Alice rolled her eyes, heading over to the girl's wardrobe. "I don't even feel bad about this." She mumbled, pulling things out of the closet and shredding them one by one as quickly as she could. 'I feel like we're doing her a favor.'

Rosalie went to the stuffed animals next, decapitating them and hiding the heads throughout the room with a smirk while her sister worked; throwing one under the bed, tucking one under the covers, and then going into the adjoining bathroom and dropping the head of a monkey into the toilet. Alice finished up in the closet and surveyed the room thoughtfully. "I mean, we could write 'go to hell, b*tch' on the wall…" She suggested.

"It would be better if we had some blood…" Alice shrugged.

"Well, we could find a squirrel or something…"

"Nah, she has sharpies. Here." Rosalie placed a box of them on the bed, rifling through them. "We really do need to go shopping after this. Carlisle's going to ask what we bought one he finds out…"

"Yea, did you want to pick Bella up something? She could use some more clothes…and I saw this really cute dress that would look gorgeous on Esme." She said, pulling out a nice blue sharpie and writing 'I hope you die, you f*cking b*tch' on the wall in Korean.

"Actually I needed to look for Emmett…he let a bear destroy his last nice shirt." Rosalie complained while she drew a realistic portrait of Laruen being shredded by a mountain lion on the ceiling.

"Men." She sighed.

"I know right!"

Jasper and Emmett threw the front door open, following their noses to find Bella in the kitchen. Lifting her from the chair, Emmett swung her around the room while she laughed, linking her arms around his neck, as though he would drop her. "Hey Bella! How was your day?" She smirked.

"Really nice actually. How was school?" He rolled his eyes and relinquished her to Jasper who kept her on the ground, hugging her close and kissing her forehead.

"Boring. It sucks without you guys." He grinned at Edward who was watching them from over a medical book. "You're such a dork. Don't you have that book memorized?" He snorted, reaching to grab the book, but Edward pulled away easily. Lunging, he tackled his brother to the ground, landing on top of him and pinning him easily. "Ha! You're getting slow!" Edward growled, managing to upset him and throw his large brother off of him while Jasper gently steered Bella away from the brawling brothers.

"How about you?" She asked Jasper quietly.

"Boring. But once you've been through high school as many times as I have…" He shrugged. "We're still doing the Civil War." She smiled at his martyred expression.

"It has to end sometime." He grinned, mussing her hair as she tried unsuccessfully to dodge away from him. "Where are Alice and Rosalie?" She asked, looking around in confusion.

"Shopping." He didn't quite believe that, but he knew that the girls had something planned that they didn't want anyone to know about, and neither of them felt frightened or nervous, so he wasn't worried. Alice would call if she needed anything.

"Boys!" Carlisle scolded as he appeared at the foot of the stairs, eyeing Edward and Emmett, still brawling on the kitchen floor, with a mix of disapproval and exasperated amusement.

"He started it." Edward complained, shoving Emmett off.

"I almost had him!" Emmett whined as Bella and Jasper laughed.

"Hm. How was school?" He eyed Jasper who only shrugged.

"The same."

"Really? Esme was under the impression that something had happened." Emmett fought back a grin, nodding to his father and heading up the stairs.

"No…nothing interesting." Jasper kept his face perfectly controlled while Edward fought to do the same, smiling at the ground.

"Jasper." Carlisle warned softly, crossing his arms and Jasper sighed, looking pointedly at Bella who stared between him and Edward and confusion. He would tell his father, but he didn't want to upset Bella.

"Later?" He asked too softly for her to hear. Carlisle nodded slightly, then frowned in the direction that Emmett had run off to.

"Where are the girls?"

"Shopping." This was true…or if it wasn't, he didn't know it. Carlisle nodded with a laugh. Everyone in the family knew of Alice's love of shopping.

"Well, I'm heading to work…I'll be home at around 2." He touched Edward on the shoulder, reminding him where the medications were in a voice only Jasper and Edward could hear, and speaking to quickly to notice, and then walked over to Bella, putting his arms around her and squeezing. "I'll see you in the morning." He promised, kissing her forehead. To Jasper, he jerked his head in the direction of the garage, and Jasper followed. "What happened?" He wondered, and Jasper sighed, then quietly recounted the basics of the story. Carlisle, while obviously unhappy, didn't scold him.

"Be careful Jasper. I don't like it any more than you, but if we have to move, it'll be hard on her. She spoke to her father today, and it seemed like they reconciled. I don't want her to have to leave him right now." Jasper nodded. "Keep an eye on her, please. She seemed to do very well today, but only you can really know." He grimaced at Jasper's grimace. "I don't like that we invade her privacy like this either, Jasper." He said quietly, touching his son's shoulder. "But we aren't doing it for fun. I'm worried about her health, especially after the episode yesterday. She's going to be having nightmares, and the more panic attacks she has, the more likely she is to have them." Jasper nodded seriously. "But if she has one, don't take her emotions away from her…just get her through it. It's not helpful if she can't manage her own emotions."

"Okay. Do you think she'll have another one?"

"It's not likely, with her being at home and knowing she's safe. But if she has a nightmare, that could bring it on. I'll be home early, so I'll keep an eye on her then. I'm sorry to ask…"

Jasper held up a hand. "Don't. I'd do it anyway, Dad. I'm not letting anything happen to my sister." Carlisle gave him a faint smile, squeezing his son's shoulder.

"I'm lucky to have you, Jasper." Jasper grinned. It wasn't the words, for his father often spoke like this to him. It was the emotions…fatherly affection and love, fondness, gratitude, that wrapped around him like a safety net, letting him know how much he was loved…how he was a part of their family, even if he felt like he was on the fringe sometimes.

The world was covered in shadow, as it usually was in my dreams. A man sat across from me, reaching out and grabbing my arm…smiling the same sick smile, and I didn't fight. I didn't scream. I closed my eyes and waited for it to be over…I prayed that it would be over soon, that he wouldn't go any further, that no one would ever know…but then Lauren was there…and I didn't know how she'd gotten in my bedroom, but she was staring at me in disgust. "If it were me, if I were too much of a coward to stop it, I'd just go ahead and kill myself." Her words made my chest ache and I cried, truly fighting now, pushing away.

"I'm not a coward. I can't make him stop!" I screamed at her, furious that she was here, knowing that she would tell everyone…that everyone would know what they'd done, that I would be called a slut and worse, because I hadn't fought back hard enough. Breathing hurt and I gasped, the painful, rasping noise waking me abruptly and I curled up in a ball, not sure why I was alone on the bed, but also knowing I couldn't breathe…and that no one was here to help me. 'Calm down.' I tried to tell myself, tried to picture Jasper's voice when he would soothe me, or Edward's…or Carlisle's. Anyone…I needed someone. I was so afraid…why had Lauren reminded me of that? Why couldn't I just heal and move on like people were supposed to? Why did I have to be so afraid? I wasn't! I was brave! But even that knowledge didn't help as I fought to breathe.

"Bella." Carlisle's voice was authoritative and I wondered if this was how he sounded when he was at work and someone was dying. "Bella, it's going to be okay." He assured me, touching my face. "Come here, sweetheart." He put his arms around me, the cold of his body sinking into mine, and his hand touched the back of my hot neck. "I've got you. It's okay. I'm going to protect you. Emmett and Jasper are here…we won't let anything happen to you." I trembled in his arms, my heart pounding in my ears, and I wondered how loud it must be to him. "Breathe, Bella. Listen, sweetheart. Can you hear me breathe? There, breathe with me." I heard him say something else, something to Jasper, but I didn't feel any drastic change like I usually did when Jasper took my emotions, and I wished I could reach out to him…beg him for help. "No." He said softly. "Give her a second."

His voice lulled me to calm as I focused only on breathing with him, his chest rising and falling as I tried to match his breathing for several minutes. Finally I managed it, sucking in air as my body tried to relax. "There." He sounded immensely relieved and helped me sit up when I was immediately nauseous, holding a trashcan in front of me while I was sick. "Relax, Bella. It's almost over. It's okay." I wanted to ask where everyone was, but as soon as I was done, I slumped weakly against him. "It's okay. There you go, sweetheart. Just relax." He wiped a thumb under my eye kissed my forehead. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"Dream." I mumbled, clutching his sweater weakly in my hand. He rested one of his hands over mind and squeezed gently. "Lauren…Jeremy…sorry." I realized that I was still shaking and wondered if it was just from the cold. He seemed to be thinking the same thing because he wrapped the comforter around me and helped me lay back down, moving to lie beside me on top of the covers. "Sorry, Carlisle…"

"You have nothing to apologize for sweetheart. Edward was speaking with Jasper and Emmett outside…they're all right outside the door. I just got here first. I'm sorry you woke alone, Bella. Do you feel better?" He asked gently. I clutched his sweater as tightly as I could, too tired to beg him to stay, but he seemed to understand when I nodded and pulled closer.

"I'm not going anywhere sweetheart. I'll stay until you fall asleep." He promised, kissing the top of my head, and I sunk back into sleep.

Carlisle sighed, tightening his arms around his daughter as she slipped back into sleep, her fingers tightening around his sweater, and he felt a wave of affection for the poor girl in his arms. "Oh sweetheart." He mumbled, rubbing her back as she slept. "I'm sorry." He hated this. He hated that he couldn't seem to help her, that every time he thought she was healing, something would happen, shoving her back down. Her talk with her father had gone well, but the problems at school had piled on her, the vile girl reminding her of her past and the terrible things those monsters had done to her.

He felt a growl build in his chest when he thought about it…those disgusting men putting their hands on her, forcing her to cope with things a child should never have to cope with. If they were within reaching distance now, he knew he would kill them. She whimpered in her sleep and he kissed her forehead, pulling the blankets up to keep her as warm as he could with him so close. He could hear Edward and Jasper speaking softly outside her close door, but he wasn't ready to relinquish her just yet.

'She's healing. There is no timeframe on this….she did so well today, with staying home and speaking to her father…she finished her school work and Edward said she did well in that as well….I have to be patient.' But it was hard...he'd never found it this difficult while helping a patient recover, but when it was his daughter…his youngest, fragile little daughter, and he could only watch as she suffered panic attacks in his arms, her body rebelling as she was sick…he buried his face in her hair, breathing deeply.

"I love you, baby girl. You're going to be okay. We're going to get you through this."


	16. Chapter 16

Emmett stared at Bella's shut door, his arm around Jasper's shoulder. He wondered if Carlisle knew that it was harder for Jasper not to do anything. His brother clenched his jaw, squeezing Emmett's arms as her panic and the tightness in her chest that these attacks caused plagued Jasper. Although he didn't need to breathe, it was still painful when he felt it like this. Edward, who had his fist against the closed door, glanced over then, reaching out and catching Jasper's arm and looked at Emmett in worry. As he was about to say something, Jasper let out a breath, lifting a shaky hand to rub through his hair. They heard her retch and Edward went back to the door, his face a mask of pain as their father reassured her. Emmett looked at his blonde brother for a long minute. "Go." He said softly.

"I'm not…"

"Jasper, it would kill her if she knew…" Edward told him softly. "She couldn't bear it if she hurt you." Jasper sighed, his expression torn as he stared at the door, then turned. Alice stood in the hallway, her hand out, and he grabbed her hand and let her pull him down the stairs. Emmett listened as they ran into the surrounding forest until he could no longer hear their footsteps.

"He gonna to be okay?"

"Yes." Edward sighed. "He needs to get away for a little while…he's been watching her all night. When Carlisle was helping her…she wanted Jasper to help her…he could feel it. I think that hurt him more than anything." Emmett sighed, crossing his arms and staring at the closed door. "She's okay now…she's asleep."

"Okay?" Emmett stared at his brother incredulously. "I'd say she's pretty far from okay."

"She's getting better. Carlisle was able to calm her without Jasper or using any kind of medicine. She was fine all day…she spoke to her father, she did homework…she was happy. Carlisle told Jasper that she'd probably have nightmares." Edward sighed and opened the door, apparently responding to Carlisle's thoughts. Shaking his head, Emmett headed for his own room, deciding to find Rosalie.

She'd surprised him lately…his wife had come to love Bella just as fiercely as the rest of them, although she still felt bad for how she'd treated the girl before, making her keep her distance no matter how much Emmett tried to reassure her that Bella had forgiven her. He knew that she'd spoken to Esme, and she'd tried to get closer to Bella…but his wife had a wall up. What those men had done to her…well he tried not to think about it. But it had hurt her, screwing with her emotions until she seemed cold and cruel, something she'd carried with her into this life. He'd known from the start that Bella was afraid of Rosalie, and had tried to be a go between, reassuring Bella and all but pleading with his wife to give the human girl a chance.

But then Rosalie had learned about Bella's past…he'd seen the change in her eyes when she'd scolded Edward that night, telling him that Bella would not feel like anyone blamed her for this. That night he'd held Rosalie as she'd sobbed in his arms, her body curling up in his arms as she was assaulted by the terrible memories and he did his best to comfort her. After that, Rosalie had made a real effort to get closer to Bella, even if it wasn't a change that was made quickly or all at once. Now, as he opened his bedroom door, he stopped short, surprised to find her on the edge of the bed, her head in her hands as she cried silently. Without hesitating, he raced to her side, gathering her in his arms. "Sh, Rose. What's the matter, baby?" He mumbled, rubbing her back and smoothing her hair. Rosalie just shook her head, putting her arms around his neck.

"She's my sister." Rosalie sobbed, burying her face against Emmett's neck.

"Yea…she is." He squeezed her gently.

"I can't help her." He smiled a little, kissing the top of her head.

"Of course you can." He said softly. "Spend time with her, Rose. Get to know her like the rest of us have. Having you there…that's what the rest of us do. We're just there when she needs us. Don't cry, baby. She's okay." He didn't know if he believe that, but seeing his wife cry was harder than seeing Esme or Bella cry, and he'd do anything to make everything okay for all of them.

She nodded, pulling back and looking up at him. "Is Jasper okay?"

"He'll be fine. He just needs to get away for a little bit…give him a few hours with Alice." She nodded, crossing her arms tightly.

"We trashed her room." She told him softly enough so that no one would hear, glancing at the door. "We wanted to do something…."

He chuckled, kissing her cheek. "Carlisle's gonna be mad."

"Worth it."

"And in local news, the home of David and Samantha Mallory was vandalized sometime yesterday afternoon. Nothing was stolen, but their daughter's laptop was destroyed and several threatening notes, including a scene depicting the girl being torn apart by a large cat, were drawn on her wall with sharpies, and most of her belongings were destroyed. No fingerprints or DNA evidence was found, but there were three fifty dollar bills and a note that read 'sorry about the window' were left on the kitchen table. We're going to the scene where…" The TV was abruptly muted and Carlisle turned to his two daughters who were both staring at their laptops innocently.

Before he could speak, his wife's giggle caught his attention. "Sorry about the window? Really?" She laughed, shaking her head, and the two girls broke into laughter.

Carlisle sighed, shaking his head. "Is that Korean?" He asked, gesturing to the TV where they were showing the bedroom.

"Yea, it says…well, never mind." Alice glanced at Esme with a faint smile.

A deep chuckle seemed to shake the room and Emmett bounded down the stairs. "Nice! Is that a mountain lion? Oh, Edward's gonna love that. Should've been a bear though." Rosalie smirked at him and he came to stand beside her, throwing an arm around her shoulders.

"Alice, Rosalie…" Carlisle looked between them, trying desperately to lose his amusement and remain stern, but it was difficult. He was happy. He was glad that his children, especially Rosalie, were stepping up and defending their sister, even if he couldn't condone their methods. "Thank you for paying for the window." He said simply, allowing his amusement to show briefly.

Jasper joined them a second later, standing beside Alice, and met Carlisle's searching gaze. "She's alright. She just woke up…I don't think she remembers much."

"I know." Carlisle said softly. Edward told me she was okay. It was you I was worried about." Jasper gave him a strange look, barely noticing when Emmett and Rosalie left. Alice took his hand and Carlisle sighed, walking over. "I'm so sorry Jasper. I…I feel like I'm hurting both of you…I wanted Bella to try and cope with her emotions without your help, but I didn't know it would make it worse for you." Jasper started to shake his head but Carlisle held up a hand. "Edward said you felt her calling for you." He said softly, not missing Jasper's grimace. "I'm so sorry…" He knew how painful it would be…to hear someone he loved call out for help and be unable to do anything. He knew it was hard enough when he was able to comfort her. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Jasper briefly…his newest son….in Carlisle's mind, his youngest, and his youngest daughter, her emotions linking them so strongly that her pain hurt Jasper. "If you feel like you need to get away…just for a little while." Jasper pulled back abruptly, staring at Carlisle in shock.

"You think I'd leave her?!"

"No one would think any less of you…I can't bear the thought of hurting you." Jasper softened then, but shook his head.

"I couldn't leave her. I couldn't leave any of you. And Alice…she'd never consider it."

"Only because I know you wouldn't." Alice said simply. Carlisle looked at his two children' thoughtfully and wondered how he'd missed the shift in his family. When they'd come to Forks, he'd felt like they'd all been paired off with Edward on his own, and he'd sometimes wondered if one of the pairs would break off at some point…he wouldn't blame them, although he'd miss them terribly. But Bella had dome something…something irreversible. When vampires had any kind of serious emotional change, it was a powerful thing, and was most often a permanent one. He'd seen that in himself, when he'd fallen in love with Esme as he'd changed her…as he'd known that he couldn't live without her. Then he'd seen Rosalie, who he'd hoped would be what Esme was to him for Edward, change with Emmett…how she'd softened…how her existence had shifted… He'd not met Jasper before he knew Alice but he knew stories. He'd heard about the young vampire's violent past, his depression…but now, when he was around Alice, you'd never believe it.

And then they had fallen for Bella, all of them. Of course, Alice and Edward were the first, and the change in Edward had been remarkable. He'd never believed that his moody, serious son could be so…happy. Could be so deeply in love with a girl. But then he'd brought Bella home and Carlisle had seen it in his son's eyes…in the way he was on alert, watching his entire family around her, looking back at her every few seconds to make sure she was okay. And then Emmett had grinned at her, waving a knife in lieu of saying hello, and she'd only laughed a little nervously, waving back from the security of Edward's side. But Carlisle had watched Emmett's amusement turn to genuine fondness as they'd played baseball, and then seen his son turn fiercely protective when the girl was threatened.

Jasper had spent days with the girl and Alice and had held his control, but it hadn't been until she'd come to them the day Jacob had kissed her, crying and shaking in pain and fear, that his son had realized how much he cared for Bella. He'd watched Jasper make a concentrated effort after that. He spent time with the girl, teaching her chess and keeping an eye on her. After a while, his son would be content to just sit in the same room with the girl. So no, he didn't think Jasper would leave her. At this point, he realized that his family was complete. Thanks to Bella, they were all so tightly bonded that none of them would ever want to leave. The thought made him smile as he headed back to the kitchen, waiting for Bella to come downstairs.

I woke slowly. I was more tired than usual, but I couldn't remember any nightmares…only waking briefly and feeling afraid...then completely safe. I sighed as my body shifted into wakefulness, wishing I could sleep for just a little longer, but knowing that my mind was awake now. I opened my eyes and found myself staring at Edward's chest. Looking up, I met his eyes and smiled tiredly, closing my eyes in contentment when he reached down and stroked my face. "Good morning, love." He greeted me softly, and I moved closer to him. "How did you sleep?"

"Okay." I yawned, stretching out like a cat, arching my back and clenching my hands into fists, then curled up against him once again. "Did I wake up."

"Only once." His voice was strained and I looked up at him in confusion before remembering.

"Oh.' I sighed, but he kissed my cheek, pulling me against him.

"It's okay Bella. Carlisle helped. It was fine." He tilted my face up to look at him and ran his thumb over my temple. "You're going to be fine. Alright?" I nodded, and he sat up, pulling me with him and keeping me in the circle of his arms. "Are you hungry?" He asked, stroking the back of my haystack hair, grinning as he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. I nodded a little, surprised to realize that it was true. I didn't feel nauseous…actually I was really hungry. He grinned, kissing my lips and letting me wrap my arms around him, his hands trailing down my back, until he pulled away, laughing a little at my pout. "Maybe we shouldn't risk your life too much just yet. You're still recovering." I stuck my tongue out at him, sighing when he laughed and kissed the top of my head quickly, then pulled away. "I'll wait for you downstairs while you get dressed. Would you like anything in particular to eat?" I shrugged, about to suggest that I could make cereal for myself, when he snorted. "No, don't answer that. I'll fix you something." Shutting the door behind him, he left me to get ready.

Checking the clock, I realized that everyone had probably already left for school. Carlisle was supposed to go to work today, but I wasn't sure what time, so I grabbed my clothes and threw them on, not wanting to miss my chance to say goodbye. But I didn't need to worry, Carlisle was standing beside Edward in the otherwise empty kitchen, talking quietly about something, but cutting off when he saw me. I hurried into his open arms, hiding my face in his neck, and he kissed the top of my head. "I'm off to work. You both have my number if you need anything. I love you, sweetheart."

"Love you." I mumbled, tightening my arms around him briefly, then pulled away with a smile. "Have fun." He chuckled, squeezing my shoulder then turning to Edward, giving him a look I didn't quite catch.

"You too." He waved, heading for the garage. I sat on the barstool across from where Edward was cooking, listening to his car drive away.

"Are you okay?" He asked, placing an omelet in front of me.

"Fine." I cut off a piece with my fork and brought it to my mouth, smiling because, for the first time in a while, I actually did feel fine.


	17. Chapter 17

She seemed fine. Edward sat on his stool beside her at the counter, glancing over every few minutes to find her working on some calculus problems that she apparently understood just fine. She'd eaten breakfast…without getting sick at all. She hadn't seemed too upset about the nightmare. She was just…doing her work. Contentedly. He smiled a little, losing interest in the anatomy book. He knew most of it anyway…Carlisle had recommended this one because of the new research on the nervous system, but he couldn't be bothered to care at the moment, because Bella seemed fine.

He hadn't realized how much he'd been worrying until he wasn't anymore. Of course he knew she was still recovering, but the key word was recovering. She would be okay…she was healing. Watching her concentrate on her homework, he caught a glimpse of the normal Bella he'd seen so little of lately…the clever girl that worked diligently and was happy and content with her life…and that loved him. He saw it in her eyes when she glanced up at him, not even bothering to pretend that he hadn't been staring at her, and she grinned, reaching over and touching his face. He grinned back at her, letting himself pull her close as his lips met hers.

He lifted her into his lap, his body catching fire when she pressed against him, her arms winding around him. Swearing silently, he decided to allow himself ten more seconds…ten more seconds and he would pull away, not matter how much he wanted to continue…no matter how much she obviously wanted to continue. 'She wants this.' His mind argued. 'But I'll hurt her!' He argued back, keeping one hand firmly against her back as she pressed closer, his lips moving against hers. 'Careful…I can't hurt her.' He stood then, groaning softly when her legs wrapped around his waist, and carried her into the living room, sitting down on the coach and leaning back against the arm, letting her lean against him.

'Okay, that's enough.' He told himself firmly as he moved to her neck. 'Enough.' He thought as he moved back up to her jaw, nuzzling the delicate skin there. She whimpered, her lips pressing against his neck, and he swore mentally as he shuddered. 'Homework…we're supposed to be…crap.' He wondered what had made him think this would be the place to cool things down, but the majority of his brain was trying to convince him that having her to himself, alone in the house, was something he should take advantage of. His hands moved to her sides, up her soft waist, and slipped under her shirt to feel the warm skin there. 'Okay, stop.' He swore again in his mind when she returned to his lips. 'Seriously. I have to stop…I can't hurt her…if I lose control, I could kill her.' That thought did the trick and he carefully pulled away, kissing her once against on the lips, then moving to her forehead. "You're life." He mumbled when she sighed, breathing heavily as she rested her head against his chest. "We're pushing it." She grumbled about not caring and he laughed, rubbing his hand against her back under her shirt. "Yea, well I do." He lay his head back, closing his eyes and letting himself relax, pulling down a blanket when she shivered, and wrapping it around her.

"I love you." She told him softly, resting a hand on his chest, and he covered it with one of his own.

"You are everything to me, Bella." He answered, wishing he could fully express how much she meant to him. He didn't think he could describe it, his love for this girl. He'd seen it in Carlisle's mind when he thought of Esme…in Jasper's, and in Emmett's as well. But he'd never quite understood until he'd fallen for Bella, the human girl on his chest that had so fully captured his heart. Her breathing began to even out and chuckled silently, wondering if she hadn't been more tired than she'd let on. 'She could fall asleep anywhere.' He thought fondly. But his happiness was interrupted by the thought. Her nightmare last night, and subsequent panic attack, had not been severe, but they had been horrific enough. He'd left her for a moment to talk to his brother. He worried about Jasper…his brother seemed to be draining himself to keep Bella from being hurt, and Edward felt torn. But they'd all froze when they'd heard her gasp for air from the porch. Carlisle had reached her first, however, commanding them all to stay outside while he helped her through it, trying not to use Jasper whose pain was just as hard for Carlisle to bear as Bella's…but he'd heard them comforting their brother and figured it out regardless.

Jasper wouldn't leave. Edward knew that. His brother would not leave the human he saw as his sister…honestly Edward didn't think he'd ever leave, even when, as Alice had foreseen, the girl became a permanent part of their family…which was a completely different issue for him to think about. With all that had happened, they hadn't further discussed their conditions…marriage, turning her, how they would do it with the werewolves around…of course he knew they would have to leave. Carlisle had promised to turn her after graduation, and he knew his father would stick to that, but he also knew that she wanted him to be the one to do it…and that she didn't want to marry him.

'But why?' He had to wonder, his own insecurities rearing their ugly heads as Bella snuggled against him. He smiled, moving to the side a little so that she was lying between him and the back of the couch, her head on a cushion. It was nearly one o'clock and he hadn't fed her yet…but he would wait until she woke up. She was regaining her appetite. 'So, why doesn't she want to be my wife? Surely she's not more interested in living forever than me…' He didn't think that was the case, honestly. It didn't seem like her…she loved him, he knew that for a fact. She loved him more than anyone else...trusted him above anyone else, even if his family was an important part of her life, and she loved them all dearly. He was her mate. So why wouldn't she want marriage?

He thought of her experience with marriage and grimaced. Before she'd met his family, she hadn't really known of any functional ones. Her parents had divorced. Her mother had only dated losers for the longest time. (He didn't dwell on that…he still had their addresses.)

"Did you…feed…dog?" She murmured against his chest and he chuckled silently.

"What Bella?" He asked softly, rubbing her back as she mumbled in her sleep.

"The dog? Feed him?" He laughed then, kissing her forehead.

"We don't have a dog, love." He reminded the sleeping girl.

"Oh." The sad sound surprised him and he went back to rubbing her back. "Always wanted…dog…Renee…allergic." She trailed off, her words growing incoherent as her dreams shifted.

'Hm…I wonder if Carlisle and Esme like dogs…' The stray thought was buried under a hundred more as he considered his options. 'I haven't brought it up in a long time…maybe her mind had changed? Will she want to marry me? She's seen Carlisle and Esme…and Alice and Jasper and Emmett and Rosalie. They're all married and happy…maybe she's thought about it?' He doubted it…Bella didn't often change her mind. But he did need to speak to her about this. Whatever issues they had, he wanted resolved before she was changed. He didn't want her to have to carry any of that into this life…when emotions were so much harder to control, even with Jasper around to help. His brother worried about her becoming a newborn sometimes…worried about her emotional control, which sometimes seemed so flimsy. He worried that she would be hard to control…that they would have to control her…that his little sister would be lost. Edward doubted that was the case. Bella would always be Bella…just more durable.

He grinned at the thought, allowing himself to feel a little excitement for that time when he would no longer have to worry…when he could touch her without fear, when they could all be around her without her scent causing the painful burning in their throats…he knew his brothers felt the same…Emmett in particular was looking forward to playing with her. He was always so careful with her, but he loved wrestling and sparring…he had already called dibs on teaching her how to fight, although Jasper would probably help as well. Edward didn't mind…he could never do it, that he already knew. He couldn't fight her.

I heard a clock chiming, which was strange because I was in the meadow with Edward, lying on my side as he held me. "Love, do you want to get up? Are you hungry?" Well…I was hungry. We would often spend all day in the meadow, and Edward would bring along lunch for me, but at the moment I didn't see any food. Did he forget lunch?

"Yea." I answered him. "Where's the food." He laughed then, revealing his perfect teeth, then leaned forward, kissing my forehead.

"In the kitchen silly." He told me, stroking my hair, and I frowned in confusion before my dream shattered around me, fading away as I realized that I was waking up.

"Oh…" I opened my eyes, looking at Edward in confusion, then looked around the living room. "Oh…did I fall asleep?"

"Only for an hour or so." He assured me, helping me sit up. "You're still recovering. Carlisle said it was normal for you to feel tired sometimes, and it was healthy for you to sleep as much as you could." I couldn't exactly argue with that, and I stretched out beside him, rubbing my eyes. "Hungry?" He asked, and a second later my stomach growled, making him grin. "So, yes." I blushed, pushing myself upright and sitting beside him.

"Don't you get bored…with me asleep all the time." He smiled, shaking his head.

"Not at all." He stood, pulling me to my feet as well, and led me into the kitchen. "It's fun listening to you. I learn all sorts of new things." I groaned in embarrassment, but he only grinned as he opened the cabinets. "For example, I found that you're under the delusion that we own a dog." I laughed a little at that, shaking my head.

"Oh, yea. I think I did dream about a dog. I used to beg Renee, but she was allergic…well, that's what she said. Honestly, I just think she didn't want one." I smiled a little in remembrance and then looked up to find Edward looking thoughtful. "What?"

"You know, I've never had a dog."

I laughed aloud. "Edward you can't get a dog!"

"Why not?"

"Because…wouldn't he make you guys thirsty?" Edward snorted.

"You don't really understand how it works, love. Animal blood is not at all appealing to us." I frowned a bit.

"Really?"

"Really. I can assure you, no one would be tempted to drink our pet." I must have still looked skeptical because he grinned. "You'll understand soon enough." His mood seemed to shift and he walked over, kissing me on the forehead and taking my hand. "Which reminds me…I'd like to speak to you about something." With his random shifts in topic I had no idea what that could be, but he only smiled a little. "But first, let's get you something to eat. What would you like?"

Esme glanced up when she heard someone speaking quietly, placing the pen she was using to grade papers on her desk and looking around at her class. "You know it had to be one of those freaks."

"But how? They were at school…it would have taken all day to do all of that…."

"All of them except for Edward." Esme narrowed her eyes, but gave Jasper and Rosalie, who sat next to each other in the middle of the room, a warning look.

"Yea, speaking of which, you owe me twenty bucks if you can't get her before the end of the week." Esme stiffened.

"Oh come on! They got her on lockdown. There's no way…"

Jasper had moved from his seat so quickly that only Esme and Rosalie could see, but he was halfway across the classroom before Esme stood. "Jasper Hale, back in your seat right now." She ordered, but, as she had figured he would, he ignored her, slamming his hands on the boy's desk. She was glad he hadn't broken the wood.

"What did I tell you about bothering my sister?" He nearly snarled at the boy.

"Jasper, in your seat, right now." She repeated, moving to his side and touching his shoulder. He was stiff with fury, his teeth bared.

"Oh so you can do what you want to her but if the rest of us…" Jasper started to lunge at him, but Esme caught him around the waist, pulling him away from the boy who was now pressed against the back of his chair.

"Rosalie, get your brother outside. Now." The blonde girl raced over to help her restrain Jasper…Esme was glad that none of the other students thought to try and help…honestly she was afraid he might lash out at one of them, and then they would have some serious explaining to do. "As for you, I'd like to see you after class, Levi."

"Hey, he attacked me!" The boy snapped at her, and Esme narrowed her eyes at him.

"Principle's office, Levi." She told him simply, pointing to the door until he complied, loudly slamming his belongings around as he gathered them then stormed out of the room. Esme sighed, looking over at the boy he'd been talking to. "Do you have anything to say, Mr. Tarnes?"

"No ma'am." He muttered, going back to his work. She nodded, taking her place back at her desk to calm down before she spoke to her son. She knew Rosalie had him restrained out there, and that he would have heard Levi snap at her. Thankfully he didn't try to attack the human boy as he'd walked by.

'He's too upset.' She realized, shaking her head. 'He's under so much strain, helping Bella…it's harder for him to control himself.' Making a decision, she picked up her pen once more.

"Go home, Jasper." She murmured, her pitch too high for humans to hear. "Stay with Bella for a while and try to calm down. We'll talk when I get home. Rosalie, come back to class."

Jasper ran home, sticking to the forests until he finally reached his property, his jaw clenched the entire way. It had been a long time since he'd felt this angry…a long tine since he'd felt the desire to kill out of hatred rather than thirst or obligation. Then again, it had been a long time since anyone in his family had been seriously threatened. Even when he'd feared Bella's knowledge of them, he'd only been worried about Alice. He knew she could take care of herself, but he wouldn't live with her being threatened in any way. Now it was the same human girl he'd planned on assassinating that he was so desperate to protect. He couldn't sit by and listen to those monsters talk about her like that…like rapists scouting out their next victim. They would hurt her, of that he was sure, and he couldn't let her go through that again. He was her big brother! It was his job to protect her!

He'd had siblings as a human…a younger brother and several older brothers, but never a sister…and it hadn't been until he'd met the Cullens and Rosalie that he'd ever felt protective of someone in that way, but this was completely different. Bella needed protecting in a way that no one else in his family needed. He could relate to Edward's constant worry now…the girl was a magnet for trouble, and it always seemed to find her, especially lately. With everything else piled on her, he couldn't sit by and watch those boys plot against her.

He stopped outside of the house, pausing when he caught voices, Bella's slightly louder one, with odd pitches and imperfections that marked her as human, and Edward's soft, melodic voice that could so easily lure his prey to their death. "You don't want me to be a vampire."

"No." His voice was pained, although Jasper wasn't sure if Bella would be able to tell that. "That's not really a question."

"I was…worrying about why you felt that way."

"Worrying?" Jasper took a step back, feeling like he was intruding. As curious as he was, he wouldn't invade their privacy like this. He could nearly taste her emotions, worry, embarrassment, fear…hope…he ran in the direction of the forest, leaping easily over the stream and loping into the woods. He was a little thirsty, which he didn't like chancing around his sister, so he decided to go for something nearby. There were no predators, so he decided to content himself with an elk, giving them some privacy.

"I just thought…you wouldn't want me anymore. When I'm not…warm and soft…and human." Edward felt his own eyes widen in shock.

'She…she thinks…I won't want her?!' He shook his head, reaching out for her face. "Oh, Bella. There is nothing I want more than you. I will always want you…it's so selfish of me Bella…to ask this of you. But you don't understand how much easier it will be for me."

"You…you're just worried…that you're being selfish!" She shook her head, her eyes softening in relief, and he pulled her closer, kissing her softly. He sighed, unable to believe that he'd made her feel this way. "Well, I don't agree…but I'm glad to know." She looked up when he pulled away, his eyes sad.

"Now, can I ask you something?" He asked, touching her cheek. She nodded, her face a little confused. "You don't want to be my wife." She paused, the relief dying from her eyes as she stared at the floor.

"That's not really a question."

He smiled a little sadly when she threw his quote back at him. "I was worrying about why you felt that way." He felt his heart clench in fear…if she didn't want him, he'd still change her. He couldn't deny her. But for some reason, he didn't really think that was the case.

"I…" She sighed, crossing her arms.

"You see," He began quietly, moving her closer and keeping his hand on her cheek. "I love you, and I want you, more than anything in the world. Forever."

"You already have me forever." She mumbled, her face flushing.

"Then why don't you want to marry me?"

"Because….in my mind, marriage and forever are not the same things." He'd suspected as much, and he squeezed her hand, rubbing the back of it with his thumb as he listened, trying to reconcile his own point of view with hers, trying to understand that she'd grown up in a world where divorce was just as common as marriage, and people often spent their lives with people they were not tied to in marriage.

"I understand." He told her softly. "I do. Your world and mine…they are much different…but I want to tie myself to you, Bella, in every way possible. Or are you more interested in the idea of immortality that in me?" He made his voice light, teasing, and was more than relieved when she giggled.

"Edward." She scolded him teasingly. "Why on earth would I want forever without you?" He sighed, pulling her into his arms. They were still at an impasse…he still wanted marriage and she didn't…but she didn't seem as violently opposed to it as she had before. Deciding to drop it for the moment, he pulled her back into his lap on the sofa where they'd returned after she'd eaten. Forgetting about homework for a moment, he held her in his lap, listening with a small smile as Jasper approached once again. He'd heard his brother the first time and had been appreciative of the privacy they'd been granted, but he was also concerned about why Esme had sent him home.

"Jasper?" I frowned as my brother entered the room, his smile rueful.

"Hey Bella. How's the homework going?" He took in my position on Edward's lap, our books still in the kitchen, and I blushed. He didn't seem bothered, however. He only laughed and joined us in the living room, sitting across from us on another chair. Edward was watching him closely, his eyes concerned, and his arms tightened around me.  
"Are you okay?" I asked him. He looked a little upset, honestly, and it was rare to find Jasper bothered by anything not involving his family. "Is everyone okay?" He smiled at me then, making an effort to appear calm.

"Yea, everything's fine Bella. Just got bored." I rolled my eyes. He was obviously lying, and I let him feel the full brunt of my half hearted irritation, making him laugh aloud. "Fine. I got sent home for inappropriate behavior in class." He admitted.

"What'd you do?" I wondered, kind of surprised. It was rare for the Cullens to draw attention to themselves like that. Even Emmett made an effort to behave.

"I…sort of attacked another student who was getting on my nerves…don't worry about it." He chuckled, the sound a bit strained. "No one was injured. Esme thought it would be better for me to think about the error of my ways at home." Sensing that he didn't want to talk about it, I only nodded, standing and putting my arms around him briefly, then pulled away to get back to my homework, knowing that Edward and Jasper were going to have a conversation they didn't want me to hear.


	18. Chapter 18

"You sent him home?" Carlisle stood by the window in his office, looking out at the nearly empty parking lot as he held his cellphone against his ear. He was due in a surgery in a half hour but had received the call from his wife as he'd been on his way to the operating room.

"I thought it would be best…he might have killed the boy." Her voice was quiet and he wondered how she'd found the time to call.

"And…Levi, right? What about him?" He wondered, mentally cursing the boy.

"Yes, Levi…I sent him to the principal's office. I have a meeting with Greene today after school."

"I'll call the house." Carlisle told her. "Make sure Jasper got home okay…and didn't make any stops. Did you want me to attend the meeting? I can get off."

"No, I'll be alright. You might want to call Charlie Swan though. I'm sure he'll want to know what's going on." She was silent for a moment. "Carlisle, should we have Jasper stay home for a few days?"

He watched as a car pulled out of the lot, his gaze absentminded. "I think it depends on what the principal says. This…Levi seems to be the only one causing trouble. If he's suspended, I don't think Jasper will have any problems."

"Yes, and the others seem to be handling this much better." She sounded relieved.

"Alice and Rosalie?" He asked a little incredulously, and she laughed.

"Well, they didn't get caught." She pointed out and he sighed, amused despite himself. "I'd like to burn their house down myself…"

"I know." He said softly. "I wish there was something more we could do…"

"Other than leaving?"

"She's just reconciled with her father…" He reminded her, his voice pained. "I don't wan to take that away from her…not now. She's finally healing, Esme, and I don't want to do anything to impede that." She sighed, and he wished she were there with him.

"Class starts in a few minutes…I'd better go. I'll talk to you tonight. I love you." She said softly. He sighed.

"Alright. I love you. Goodbye."

"Goodbye." He hung up the phone, squeezing the plastic device for a few seconds, then scrolled through his contacts, pressing the call button and waiting for his daughter to pick up the phone.

"Hello?" He smiled, almost unconscious of the reaction her voice caused in him, his heart lightening and his posture relaxing at her calm, happy tone.

"Hello Bella. How are you?"

"Fine. How are you doing?" He leaned against the window, looking over at the framed row of documents from the assorted schools he'd been to in the last few years.

"I'm doing well. Have you finished up your work for today?" It was time for the last class of the day, and the others would all be returning home soon.

"Nearly…" She sounded a bit sheepish, and he could imagine what had distracted her, considering she and Edward had been alone in the house…which was a whole different issue he knew his son struggled with. He wondered if his son would speak to him about that and made a mental note to bring it up with Esme as well. No doubt the girl would need to speak to her mother at some point in the near future.

"Good. Have you had any trouble?"

"No. It's all pretty easy."

He grinned. "That's good. Is Jasper there?"

"Uh yea…he came home a little while ago…did you want to talk to him?" Carlisle was thoughtful for a moment, deciding that he had time.

"Yes, please, if you don't mind."

"Okay, here he is. Love you."

"I love you too sweetheart…I'll be home in a few hours. " He waited while she gave the phone to Jasper who greeted him hesitantly with a soft apology once Bella's footsteps faded, and Carlisle had to assume that Bella was in the other room and not listening.

"It's alright Jasper. Don't worry about it…I understand. Are you okay?"

"Fine." Carlisle barked a short laugh.

"I swear you're starting to sound like Bella." His son laughed as well. "Can you go back tomorrow?"

"If he's not there." Jasper said simply.

"I'm not sure about that Jasper…Esme is going to speak with the principal today."

"He's threatening her, Carlisle. He's got a bet with his friends…says he's going to rape her." Carlisle's heart seemed to freeze, his entire body growing cold as he clenched his jaw, his son's blunt words tearing at me.

'Over my dead body…' The monster in the back of his mind snarled, his muscles tensing as though in reaction to a tangible threat in the room. "Did you tell any of the teachers about this?" He asked, his voice strained.

"No…didn't get the chance."

"Bella's safe, Jasper. They won't be able to get near her…not at our house. I'll speak with Esme when she's done with class…with a threat like that I'm sure Mr. Greene will be forced to act…I'll speak to Charlie about it when I call him."

Jasper hesitated for a moment. "They're all talk…we'd never let them touch her, even if she were in school…but…" Jasper gave a frustrated noise. "If she heard…"

Carlisle thought of the disastrous results that would cause…the memories that would haunt her…the horrific nightmares she'd be sure to face… "She won't. I don't like keeping things from her, but we're not going to tell her about this. Edward?"

"He knows. But he's not going to say anything to her…she's in the kitchen. I think she knows something's going on, but she's not going to ask. I don't think she wants to know."

"Good." Carlisle pinched the bridge of his nose. "Is she okay? She sounds better."

"She feels alright…she was a little worried when I came home early, but she's okay now." Carlisle nodded, although his son couldn't see it. "I think she's getting better." There was hope in his son's voice and Carlisle had to smile. It seemed the combination of a stress free environment and having her family around her was doing the trick.

"So do I."

Something was going on at school, but I didn't care enough to ask what it was. I did wonder if I'd be going back. I didn't have any problem staying home for now, but I knew I'd soon grow tired of being home all day every day, even if Edward and I went out sometimes. I still had a semester of school left… and it seemed like my family was doing all they could to get Lauren out of the school…I tucked the thought away; I would think about it later when it was relevant. For now, I hoped that Jasper wouldn't get himself in trouble over me. Carlisle hadn't sounded angry, but I hadn't heard him speak to Jasper, so I had no way of knowing.

I shut my Calculus book when I finished my last problem, placing in on the counter with my others, then listened carefully, but couldn't hear anything. Of course that didn't mean they weren't having a conversation in the other room…I had no hope of hearing them if they didn't want me to. Looking over the list Esme had left, I made sure I'd finished everything, then hopped down from the stool, slowly making my way back into the living room. Edward, who sat by himself in the room, glanced up and smiled at me, inviting me into his arms, and I sat on the sofa beside him. "Finished?" He asked quietly. I nodded, tucking myself under his arm.

"Jasper?" I wondered.

"Outside…he's still talking to Carlisle."

"Is Carlisle mad?"

"I don't believe so…why?" He asked in concern.

"Because Jasper got sent home?"

"Don't worry about that Bella." He soothed me, stroking my long hair, ad I nodded, agreeing to let it go. "C'mon." He stood, pulling me to my feet as well, and clasped my hand. "Do you want to go to the meadow?" I nodded, smiling as I following him outside. I was sick of being stuck inside.

The sun shone down, warming our skin, making his throw rainbows onto mine. He reached out and touched my arm where a patch of sun warmed it, his cold, iridescent touch making me shiver. He smiled, turning around and letting me climb onto his back, my legs going around his waist and my arms around his neck as I was pressed against his back. One of his hands secured my legs and the other covered my hands for a moment, and then he began to run.

After our return from Italy, I had ceased to be bothered by the speed with which he ran. Instead it was exhilarating, my heart pounding loudly as I stared at the scenery that passed us by. I tightened my hold on his neck and leaned forward, kissing his cheek. He turned in the space of a second, his lips meeting mine briefly, then turned back to the path he followed by heart. The leaves and branches whipped by us, but none of them ever touched me, and I wondered at his ability to avoid the dense foliage. 'Will I ever be able to do this?' I wondered, looking around at the blur of the forest as we approached the meadow. 'Will I ever be able to run like this…to be as graceful as he is? Even as a vampire, I'll probably be clumsy...' I had to smile at the thought of the ribbing Emmett was sure to dish out. 'I'll never hear the end of it…literally.'

But the thought of immortality made me think of the other big decision I had to make. Edward sat me on my feet as we entered the beautiful clearing, the sunlight skimming across the surface of the trees, breaking through to shine brightly on the grasses and flowers, making the ground almost dry as Edward laid out his jacket for me to sit on, and then sat beside me, his eyes never leaving me as he lay on his back. I laid down as well, closing my eyes and enjoying the feel of the sun on my face. Their house was always a little cold, even if I never said anything about it, there were blankets everywhere, all placed for me, and I'm sure Esme and Carlisle would tell me how to turn up the heat if I wished. Now the sun seemed to encompass me with warmth, and a cool hand slipped into my warm one.

'Immortality.' My brain reminded me. 'Carlisle will do it…he promised. But…so did Edward.' I wanted Edward to be happy. But more than that, I wanted him to be the one to change me, wanted him to be the last person who touched me before the pain I knew was coming… I tried not to think about the pain. Carlisle had promised to dose me with morphine first, something he hoped would help, but I wasn't going to get my hopes up. Emmett had told me that it was like hell, referring to Rosalie as his angel who'd sat beside him, and I knew Edward would be with me…as would the others if I wished, I was sure, but I wasn't looking forward to the hell part, regardless.

'Would it be so horrible?' I asked myself as Edward's thumb chafed against my knuckles. 'To be married to him? To have a little wedding…it would make Charlie happy, give him some resolution. I know Alice would love to plan a wedding…I'd just have to make sure she didn't go crazy.' I smiled a little at the thought, knowing my expressions were probably driving Edward, whose eyes I could feel on me, crazy with curiosity. When I thought of husbands, at first I thought of my parents' failed marriage…of all the pain it caused me over the years…but then I thought of Carlisle as he sat beside Esme, his arms around her, and of Emmett watching Rosalie when she walked by, his face shifting to an expression of awe….and of Jasper, the way he softened when Alice was around, the way he'd do anything to protect her. 'That's what kind of husband Edward would be. The way they look at their wives…it's like first love, every single day…even Carlisle.' I thought with a smile. 'This is what Edward wants."

The only reason I hadn't wanted to get married was because I was worried about what everyone would think…but the people at school already thought I was a slut, and a lot of the teachers thought I was acting this way to get attention, and this whole town probably thought the same...my mother's husband thought I was a liar and my mom… I frowned a little, correcting myself. 'My mom loves me.' I replaced Renee with Esme in my mind, the thought returning the smile to my face. 'My mom and dad have a wonderful marriage that's lasted longer than anyone's in the world. My brothers and sisters are all married and they are the happiest people I know. Why should I be ashamed to get married? So what if they all think I'm the stupid small town girl who got knocked up? How long am I going to know these people? Another year? If that? How much will their gossip hurt a hundred years from now when they're all dead and I still have Edward?'

"Will you please tell me what you're thinking? Before I lose my mind over here?" I giggled softly at his plea, rolling over to face him as his hand rested on my cheek.

"Yes." I said softly, leaving him to wait until finally, in a display of forced patience, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"Yes you'll tell me?" He prompted.

I laughed a little. "Yes, I'll marry you."

Emmett strolled in through the front door, grinning at Jasper who flipped through a book absentmindedly pausing only to nod at him. "Heard Esme had to stop you from killing someone today." He shrugged, staring at his book. "You really ought to learn to control that temper of yours." He teased, throwing an arm around Rosalie's shoulder while Alice walked over to Jasper, kissing him on the cheek and leaning against his side under his arm, her gaze far away.

"You'd have killed him too if you'd have heard what they were saying." Emmett sobered, looking around to make sure Bella wasn't in hearing range then crossing his arms, waiting. "He basically bet his friends that he could rape her before the end of…no, don't go kill him, I'm already in trouble with Esme!" Emmett froze where he'd been on his way out the door. "They're all talk Emmett. They won't be able to touch her…not here."

Emmett let loose a string of profanities, clenching his fists and throwing himself down on the sofa. Rosalie sat beside him, taking his hand. "You know, it wouldn't be hard to make his death look like an accident…"

"Carlisle already said no." Jasper grumbled. "Believe me, I tried."

"He'll know if one of us kills him, then we'll really be in trouble. You better not." Alice warned Emmett from Jasper's side, pausing from her search of the future.

"Where are Bella and Edward?" Emmett wondered, lifting an eyebrow when Alice only grinned. Jasper glanced over at his wife.

"What? Where are they? I didn't hear him say where he was taking her." He informed them, taking Bella's phone out of his pocket where he'd left it and placing it on the coffee table.

"Oh, just for a walk." She said in a sing-song voice.

"A walk?" Rosalie asked skeptically. She smirked

"Mmmhm."

"Oh god, do we even want to know?" Rosalie asked warily, and Alice laughed.

"Oh, nothing like that. Pervert. I don't think they'd do it in the woods for their…"

"Ugh, just stop! That's my baby sister." Emmett groaned, holding up a hand and both girls laughed. Jasper grimaced as well, apparently no more willing to think of that than Emmett. "So what are they doing?" Alice shrugged, smiling and leaning against Jasper who'd given up guessing. He knew that his wife couldn't be swayed when she was in this kind of mood. Emmett rolled his eyes at his sister, grabbing the remote and flipping on the TV while they all sat in near silence, waiting on their sister's return.

Alice lay her head in Jasper's lap, knowing her joy was causing him some confusion, but she just couldn't help herself! 'They're getting married! With a real wedding! Oh I hope Bella lets me plan it! Carlisle and Esme are going to be so happy!' She fought to erase the large smile from her face, not wanting to give away the surprise, but she couldn't suppress a giggle of excitement when she saw the ring Edward already had…and the dress….'Oh I need to find her a dress! She'll pick something from the rack and that'll never do! This is her only wedding….well, probably. I don't think she'll want to do it again like Rosalie. But…oh, the guest list!'

"You're starting to scare me…" Alice jumped back into reality, realizing that she'd been staring in Rosalie's direction with what must have been a starry eyed expression, and stuck her tongue out at her sister.

"You're going to be happy too, Rose!" She told her haughtily, but the blonde only rolled her eyes, glancing up when Esme entered the room. Jasper winced a little, looking off to the side, and Alice squeezed his hand. He hated upsetting Esme, and she knew he was angry with himself for losing his temper earlier.

"Why is Rosalie going to be happy?" She asked lightly, coming into the living room and crossing her arms.

"Forget about Alice! How'd the meeting go?" Emmett wondered, leaning forward and ignoring Alice's glare.

"Carlisle called the principal…as did Charlie. Levi is being suspended, and Mr. Greene would like to speak to you tomorrow, Jasper." Alice looked up at her husband when he nodded grimly. "And of course, I'll be present for the meeting." That was more of a warning that a reassurance, and Jasper sighed. "You know we have to be careful." She said softly, placing a hand on his shoulder, and he nodded. "I wanted to kill him too." She sat down on the sofa beside him, touching his cheek. "I'm proud of you, Jasper. You're protecting your sister, and I cannot be angry about that. We just have to be so careful." She put her arms around him, and Alice closed her eyes, smiling as she debated on who would walk her sister down the aisle. "Where is Bella?" She wondered, looking between all of them.

"Ask Alice." Emmett said dryly. The front door opened and shut before she could, and Carlisle entered the living room, his eyes alighting first on his wife who he walked over and embraced, kissing her quickly, and then to the others in the room, his arms still around her.

"Edward and Bella?" He wondered.

"Wouldn't we all like to know?" Emmett jerked his head at Alice who only kept her eyes closed, smiling from Jasper's lap and waving in Carlisle's direction.

"Hm…how was the meeting?" Carlisle asked, looking back down at Esme, leading her over to a large chair where he sat at her side.

"It went well…or as well as can be expected. Levi has been suspended, and the principal wants to speak to Jasper tomorrow…about what he heard the boy saying." Carlisle nodded. "Thank you for having Charlie call…I don't think the principal takes us seriously at all."

"I know of a way to make him take us seriously." Emmett griped, and both of his parents chuckled.

"Yes, well, maybe we oughtn't. Charlie is more than willing to help…I believe he's going to go speak to the man again tomorrow. And Lauren has been suspended…she's in a mandatory counseling program."

"If she were to suddenly disappear…"

"Emmett." Carlisle's amused warning made Emmett sigh, crossing his arms.

"Why can't I have any fun?" He grumbled.

"Don't mind him. He's just in a bad mood because he misses Bella, and Alice won't tell us anything." Rosalie informed her parents with a grin.

"Alice?"

"You'll see." She practically sang. Carlisle chuckled at the antics of his children, holding his wife in his lap and resigning himself to wait. No one could make Alice talk when she was having her fun, and from the look on her face, he had something to look forward to.


	19. Chapter 19

Edward wondered if vampires could implode from happiness. 'Yes, I'll marry you.' The words, her soft smile, the happiness in her eyes, they swirled around in his mind, making his entire body light and heavy and just…full all at the same time. He'd immediately pulled her into his arms, his lips finding hers, then just held her, her head tucked under his chin. He wondered what his face looked like….he was sure Emmett would tease him mercilessly if he could see him now. But he couldn't find it in himself to care.

'She wants to marry me. She's going to be mine forever and she'll wear the ring and she's happy and she wants to marry me.' His normal ability to concentrate on several things at once seemed to have vanished, and the only thing he could think about was the girl in his arms. 'She's going to be my wife.' "I love you. I love you I love you I love you so much." He whispered, smiling when she giggled a little, pressing her lips against his neck.

"I love you too." She mumbled, her arms tightening a little around him. He could barely feel it, but he knew she clung to him with all of her strength.

'I'll be able to hold her and kiss her…really kiss her…really touch her…I won't have to worry about hurting her…if anything, she'll have to worry about hurting me!' The idea made him laugh aloud and he rolled over, pulling her on top of him. "You'll marry me?" She laughed softly, resting her hands on his chest as she peered down at him.

"I'll marry you."

"You'll be my wife?"

"That's typically what that entails…unless you wanted to be…"

"You want to marry me?" He interrupted her. He had to clarify, just in case…he wouldn't force her into this. "Because I'll change you anyway, Bella. I swear it. Don't do this just for me, please."

"I'm starting to think you don't want to marry me." She teased, her eyes light, but before he could answer, she stroked his face. "I want to marry you, Edward. I want to be your wife…forever." He grinned then, letting his head fall back and lifting his hands to touch her face. "Alice is going to be unbearable…" He chuckled, stroking her back and closing his eyes.

"I'm sure she already knows." Bella sighed, laying her head on his chest, and his arms tightened around her.

"We don't have to make a production of it Bella…we can do it quietly if you like. I don't care so much about the actual wedding. We could elope if you want…go to Las Vegas."

"Charlie would love a wedding." She refuted him softly. "I'll bet the others would too….Alice, Esme…Carlisle." He couldn't argue…their parents always enjoyed the weddings of their children…. even Rosalie and Emmett, who had one every forty years or so.

"This isn't about them." He reminded her quietly, stroking her hair. Starting to sit up, he moved her to his lap, kissing her cheek and cradled her against him. "I don't want you to be uncomfortable just to make them happy…they won't mind." She rested her head against his chest.

"I won't be…" She promised, reaching up and kissing his jaw. "It'll be fine. Really. It might even be…fun." He laughed when she had to force herself to say the word. "Who knows, maybe I'll end up like Rosalie. We can get married every time we move somewhere new." He chuckled, although he doubted it.

"I wouldn't mind at all, love."

He lifted me onto his back once more as the sun began to set, his cold body and the absence of the sun making me shiver. His hands squeezed mine, as I got comfortable on his back, locking my legs around him. I didn't think he would ever drop me or let me fall, but I wasn't letting go none-the-less. "Cold?" He asked softly, and I nodded against his neck. "We'd better get you home." He began running, his movements free and carefree, letting me know that he was still happy. I'd never seen him look so happy…so absolutely joyous, as when I said I'd marry him. He seemed to glow with it now, and I could even feel it in the way he ran.

The house came in to view, and I felt my stomach fill with butterflies. He must have heard my heart rate increase because he slowed to a gradual stop, letting me climb down, and then wrapped his arm around me. "We can keep it a secret it you like." He was smiling a little, so I knew it was partly teasing…there were no secrets in this house. "You have nothing to worry about, or be embarrassed about." I nodded…I knew that…and yet…I sighed, smiling a little at him and, taking his hand, followed him into the house.

Everyone sat in the living room, gathered on the sofas and chairs. Emmett grinned up at us from where he sat across from Jasper who had Alice's head on his lap. The girl only smiled when we entered, her eyes closed. "There you guys are. What's going on?"

"Alice didn't tell you?" I asked, laughing a little at her smug expression. Emmett stood then, walking over and wrapping his arms around me and lifting me into the air, making me laugh aloud.

"Nope." He spun me around, kissing my forehead and dropping me back on my feet. "She's being a…" He paused when Jasper raised an eyebrow. "Brat." I looked over at Alice who kept silent.

"Well come on Alice? Are you going to get started or not?" She squealed, jumping up from where she lay on the sofa, a statue coming to life, and threw her arms around me.

"Of course! Oh thank you! I swear it's going to be perfect! And I know that you have to approve the final guest list and oh do you think Charlie or Carlisle? I know you were thinking about it but I really think that Charlie should…"

"Hey! Can someone let the rest of us in on the secret?" Everyone was staring at us with a mixture of amusement and irritation and Edward laughed.

"Bella has agreed to marry me." He told his brother with a grin, crossing his arms. "And Alice is planning the wedding." I felt my cheeks heat up when they all turned to stare at me in surprise, but Esme was the first one to race to my side, throwing her arms around me and kissing my cheek, followed by Carlisle who kissed my forehead and wrapped his arms around both of us. Edward came to stand beside me, returning his mother's embrace, and was then assaulted by both of his brothers who congratulated him loudly. Rosalie stood on the sidelines, her arms crossed and her face unreadable until she met my gaze.

I felt Carlisle release me as she approached, his hand remaining on my shoulder as she came to stand in front of me. I knew that she knew exactly what this meant…that I was choosing, once and for all, to become one of them. That I was giving up my humanity. For a second I worried that she would start yelling…that she was going to hate me now, that she was finally going to tell me straight out what she really thought. And it scared me. I'd grown to really love Rosalie, just like I loved everyone in this family. She'd become my friend, even if I wasn't as close to her as I was to Alice. I wanted to change that…I wanted us to be the best of friends…we'd be together from now on, after all. I crossed my own arms, staring at her hesitantly as Carlisle squeezed my shoulder. Emmett and Jasper had paused in their celebration and were watching the scene, as was Edward who stood beside Esme, his posture tense.

"Congratulations, Bella." She said softly, her smile sad, and she stepped forward, opening her arms, which I stepped into, hugging her fiercely. She placed her lips against my ear, whispering so softly I nearly didn't hear. "I hope you're happy, Bella. Truly I do."

I pulled away after a moment, looking into her eyes seriously. "I am."

No sooner had the words come out of my mouth had Emmett grabbed me in a bear hug once more, this one gentler than the first, and kissed my forehead. "It's about time." He grumbled at me playfully, grinning when I flushed. "Now you get to be our little sister officially." Jasper came up to me as well, but hugged me much more gently, kissing the top of my head and letting the emotions he projected speak for him, his love and affection for me wrapping around me like a safety blanket interwoven with his happiness.

"Okay okay!" Alice cried, pulling me back into her arms. "Enough congratulations! We have a wedding to plan! Oh, Esme, you have to help me find her the perfect dress…oh I already know which one! The…" She glanced at me, biting her lip a little, then grinned at Esme once more. "Well, we'll have to keep it a secret from Edward, so I'll have to be the one to find it." She stuck her tongue out at Edward who only chuckled, reaching out and catching my hand.

"What about your dress?" I asked, cocking my head. She frowned at me a little in confusion.

"What?"

"Well, my maid of honor surely isn't going to wear something off the rack!" I cried in mock indignation, and then her arms were around me again as she gushed 'thank yous' into my ear. "Honestly, what kind of psychic are you?" I laughed, hugging her back. "I was sure you'd see that one coming." She pulled away, kissing my cheek, and then turned to grab Esme's hand.

"C'mon! Rose you too! We've got to go shopping! And…oh call the guy we used for your last wedding Rosalie. And we can get the flowers and…" Her voice faded away as she dragged our mother and sister out of the room, leaving me laughing in Edward's arms.

"Well, she's going to have fun." He said wryly, kissing my cheek.

"Is it too late to elope?" I asked with a smirk, and Jasper laughed.

"I wouldn't try it. She'll hunt you down."

Carlisle smiled as Alice dragged his wife and daughter out the door, going on about flowers and dressed excitedly. He knew that she was happy to be planning her sister's wedding…and even happier to be her maid of honor. He was happy as well…he had already known about Edward's proposal and her hesitation, not that he could really understand her near refusal to marry him. Carlisle knew for a fact that they loved each other, that they were intended for one another. Edward loved her in the same way that Carlisle loved his own wife, and Bella felt the same. She loved his family as well, and had become, to him, a beloved daughter. So not wanting to get married had seemed strange to him, until he'd thought about the age she had grown up in. 'To her, eternity and marriage are probably very different concepts.' He reasoned with himself as Edward led the girl upstairs. 'She's had very negative experiences with married couples.' He couldn't help but hope that seeing his family's views and practice of marriage had helped change her mind. He certainly wanted her as a daughter legally. His family would bind themselves to her, and nothing could ever take her away.

I stepped out of the bathroom to find Edward waiting for me on the bed, his eyes filled with the same gentle happiness as he watched me, and I felt my face redden, my eyes going to the carpet. He approached me, reaching out and taking my hand, then falling to one knee. I started to scold him, telling him that I was in pajamas my hair was still wet and a million other things, but the utter sincerity in his eyes floored me. "Isabella Swan." He began softly, squeezing my hand. "I love you, more than anyone in this world, and I want to be with you for the rest of my existence. Would you please do me the honor of marrying me?" I didn't have the heart to tell him I'd already agreed several times and nodded instead.

"Yes." I said softly, smiling at him, then staring in shock as he pulled out a little velvet box, opening it and slipping a beautiful oval diamond ring on my finger.

"It was my mother's." He explained softly, running his thumb over the back of my hand. "My biological mother's." The beautiful antique sparkled on my finger and he reached up, wiping a tear I didn't realize I'd shed. "Does it fit?" I nodded, biting my lip. It fit perfectly.

Jasper couldn't deny that he was happy for his little sister and big brother…although it felt strange thinking of it that way. He chuckled, leaning back against the couch, ignoring Emmett's brief questioning glance. He knew that Bella would be changed soon…that she would truly join their family, with all of the implications that went along with that. He wanted her to be with them forever…the alternative, that she would one day die, was almost unbearable to think about. But he remembered the newborns he'd lived with for so long…the blood crazed, violent creatures that would tear each other apart over nothing. And then he thought of his sister…of the sweet girl that loved to hear him tell stories and who laughed with Emmett teased her…what would happen to that girl? "What were you like? As a newborn?" He asked Emmett quietly, his voice thoughtful.

Immediately sensing that he was serious, Emmett switched the TV to mute and turned to face him. "You worried about Bella?" He asked just as quietly, not wanting to disturb her. They could hear her soft even breathing but they knew she wasn't asleep yet…if they listened they could hear her talking quietly to Edward. Jasper nodded. "Well…I guess I wasn't too bad…you could ask Carlisle. I kind of took it all in stride, since I had Rose and then Carlisle and Esme and Ed…and Bella has been preparing for this. She pretty much knows what to expect. I mean…I did kill some humans. Once I ran into a girl that smelled like…I don't think I could describe it, but like Bella smells to Edward, I guess. I didn't even think twice." He shook his head, his eyes a little haunted, then forced a grin. "She'll be alright though."

"Will she still be Bella?"

"Course she will! I mean, we'll have to keep her away from humans for a while...don't wanna tempt fate or anything, and we gotta be careful about teasing her and stuff…she's emotional now, so she'll probably be a bit on the wild side, but she'll calm down. We all did." Jasper looked over at the TV for a moment, contemplating that. "We're gonna go somewhere far away from humans regardless."

"Her dad?" Emmett sighed, crossing his arms.

"The wolves…we can't change her with them here…too dangerous. Besides, we're gonna have to keep him in the dark. If the Volturi find out another human knows…they'll come down on us hard." Immediately Jasper thought of the danger Alice, the psychic that Aro wanted for his little group, would be in and shook his head. He wouldn't lose her, and he wouldn't join them…

"Hey, Dad." Jasper looked up when Carlisle joined them, leaning back against the sofa beside him.

"You're worried about changing Bella?"

"What about her dad, Carlisle?" Jasper had to ask. "She just got him back…are we going to let him see her get married and then…what? Kill them off in a car accident? Make him sit through her funeral?" Carlisle winced and Jasper literally felt his pain. "We can't stay here because of the wolves…wouldn't there be any way to tell Charlie that she's okay?"

"I've thought about that…one option would be to speak to Sam about this…to ask for permission to change her. Then she could see her father before we leave…just…let him see her and hope he doesn't…"

"Have a heart attack?" Emmett asked dryly, and Carlisle grinned.

"He's seen us often enough…it could be a viable option." Jasper nodded.

"Take us with you, when you speak to him." He told his father seriously, relieved when he nodded. He didn't even want to think of what would happen if something were to happen to Carlisle…the effect it would have on their family, on Esme…the effect it would have on already fragile Bella…which brought back his earlier worries.

"She's emotionally unstable." He told his father softly. "She's recovering now, but the panic attacks…they've changer her emotions. She has a harder time controlling them."

"You think that'll carry over when she's a vampire?"

"I don't know…newborns are already unstable. I don't know how it'll affect her. There's enough of us to control her…" He cut himself off, frowning in distaste and felt Carlisle's sympathy. He thought of all the rabid newborns he'd fought, how they'd turn and sink their teeth into him, their venom scarring him for all of his existence. Could he bear it if Bella were like that?

"She'll be alright, Jasper. We shouldn't borrow trouble…we have enough already. Let them have their wedding…and let her finish school. Then we'll worry about changing her. Regardless, this is a conversation she and Edward need to be a part of. Jasper nodded, grinning a little when he heard his wife chattering outside with Rosalie, their voices approaching the house.

"They're going to change her after she graduates?" Jacob Black sat on the ground, a hotdog halfway to his mouth. In front of him, the campfire burned brightly, illuminating the faces of his pack around the circle. Beyond them, the ocean lapped at the shore, nearly touching Seth where he sat across from Jacob. The black smoke wafted from the tops of the orange flames and disappeared into the night sky. He glanced over at Sam who sat on his left, a bag of chips between his knees.

"Yea…that's what she told me." He mumbled, scarfing down the hotdog in a few bites and swallowing, his stomach growling once more. One of the worst things about being a werewolf; being constantly hungry. He reached for the pack of hotdogs and speared another one on his stick, watching absently as Quill did the same.

"They'll break the treaty?" Sam asked insistently.

"I think they're gonna leave first." He said simply, looking up at his alpha who shook his head. "I told her that wasn't how it worked." He defended himself, although he usually did his best not to think about that day.

"We have to wait until they actually do it." Sam reflected, leaning back on his elbows and looking around the circle at the others.

"What? Wait until they've made her one of them before we kill all of them? Including her?" He asked incredulously.

"She won't be Bella anymore, Jake." Quill pointed out, crossing his arms. "She'll just be another bloodsucker." He winced, not needing the reminder. He had no idea...well, no, he couldn't say that. He knew why she wanted to be one of them. He just didn't know if she knew what she was doing. Bella was his friend...had been his friend, and the thought of her like them...cold and too sweet smelling, her mind like a predator, put him off his food.

"But she wants this." Seth spoke up for the first time, his voice hesitant. "Isn't that what she said? She wants to be a vampire…is it still breaking the treaty if she's willing?"

"Of course it is!" Jacob snapped, feeling fury rise in his chest, although it no longer made him shift forms. "She can't really want this! He's just…seduced her into thinking it is! Along with the rest of them! Which is why I think we should go get her now! If we can just get her away from them…." He knew his words were a lie...there was nothing he could do to change her mind...Bella Swan didn't change her mind.

"They'll kill you if you touch her again, Jake." Embry pointed out with a snicker. "That big one broke your jaw already…and the scary blonde guy would probably kill you."

"So we'll get someone else to do it." Jacob suggested. He had to try. Even if he didn't think it would work, there was hope while she was still human. Because even the thought of her cold and turned into a monster didn't make him want to kill her...he didn't know if he could. He'd told her that she wouldn't be Bella anymore...but he didn't know that. He didn't know how it would feel...how he would feel about her.

"You know they won't let her around werewolves alone!" Quill protested.

"We're not kidnapping her!" Sam informed them sharply, crushing his hopes. "If she wants to join this war then that's up to her. We'll kill her if she does…she already knows that."

"Then we have to make her change her mind!" Jacob cried, his voice pained as he dropped the hotdog into the fire, not caring as the meat was charred.

"You have to stay away from her." Sam snapped. "You've done enough damage…thanks to you, she's living with them. If there was ever any chance of us talking her out of it, it's gone now, and that's on you. If you could have just kept your da*n hands to yourself…" Jacob swallowed hard, looking down at the ground. He certainly couldn't' refute that. He'd planned on going to her house or calling...on begging her for forgiveness. He just wanted things back to the way they had been when the vampires had left. She'd been okay...well, on her way to okay, and they'd been closer than ever. But now... Sam shook his head, turning to the others. "We don't have a problem yet. We'll wait and see what they do, and then, if we have to, we attack."


	20. Chapter 20

I woke early the next morning, Edward's arms wrapped tightly around me, and I smiled a little, stretching as the sunlight lit up his skin and warmed mine. "Morning." I mumbled, scooting closer, and he kissed the top of my head.

"Good morning, love." He answered, stroking my hair. "Did you sleep well?"

"Mhm…" I tried to clear my foggy mind. "What day is it?" I asked, making him chuckle.

"Saturday." He told me, stroking my back as I blinked, wincing a little at the bright light that hit my face. "Alice has been planning our wedding all night…she's picked out dresses for Esme and Rosalie, decided on a cake, flowers…apparently she took your blessing to help plan it as giving her complete control." I laughed.

"I don't mind. She's planned more weddings than I have. As long as you're there, I'm good." He grinned, cupping my face in his hands and kissing me softly.

"I love you." He mumbled, pulling me closer to him. "What do you want to do today?" He asked when he'd finally pulled away, his face inches from mine.

"Mm, I don't know. What do you want to do?" I asked, touching his nose with mine, and he chuckled.

"Well, first I'm going to let you get ready, and then I'm going to feed you and water you…" I smacked him on the shoulder, fully aware that I couldn't hurt him.

"I'm not a pet!" He laughed aloud.

"Then we can help Alice if you'd like…although I don't think she needs the help. Or was can go out somewhere. Or stay home….it's whatever you want." I closed my eyes, snuggling against him, and he wrapped his arms around me. I had a few ideas honestly…but I doubted he would go for them.

I turned my face upward to kiss him and he responded happily, holding me closer and rolling over, lifting me up so that I was nearly on top of him and hitching my leg over his waist. I moaned, pressing against him, and his hand moved down my back, his own body shivering in response. I was wide awake suddenly, and more than a little hopeful that he'd want to go further. But, true to form, he froze after a few seconds, gently pushing me away. "Bella." He mumbled, his eyes tormented. "We can't." He whispered, touching my face.

"Why not?" I hadn't meant to ask in such a pathetic tone…or for my cheeks to grow so red, but he kissed them gently, then moved back to my lips briefly.

"Bella, you don't understand how easy it would be to hurt you. I can't…I couldn't risk it, sweetheart." He must have seen my hurt look because he pulled me impossibly close. "Bella, I want you more than anything. You have no idea how hard this is…please understand. I could kill you and I won't risk your life…we're getting married soon, and then Carlisle will change you, and then…"

"But…you said that newborns…that they were…bloodthirsty…will I even still be me? After I'm changed? You said it could be a year before I could even be around humans!" He stroked my face.

"Of course you're going to be you, love. You're going to have to be careful to stay away from humans, and you'll have to adjust to all the physical and mental changes…but your personality, your tastes…they're all going to be the same. You'll still be my Bella. Always." I rested my head on his chest, swallowing hard. I was afraid, I realized. Afraid of the change, afraid of turning into something else. "I can't hurt you. I couldn't bear it…if I were to lose you, Bella, I'd die. The others…they feel the same. We all love you so much. So please understand…that's why we have to wait until you've changed." I sighed, nodding against his chest, and his arms encircled me, his lips finding mine. "And we'll probably need to go somewhere a little more private…where my entire family can't hear us." He spoke a little wryly at the end and my face caught fire while he chuckled.

"Oh god." I groaned. "Okay, so I'm just going to stay in here…all day." He laughed, kissing the top of my head.

"Don't be embarrassed…no one else is." He grinned at me and I felt a pang of pity for the mind reader living with three couples. He must have read my face because he smirked. "Trust me, it get's nauseating…especially Emmett and Rosalie." I had to giggle, even if I knew Emmett would get us back for this. "So, are you hungry yet?" I weighed my hunger against my embarrassment and shook my head. He saw through me though and shifted, laying his head next to mine. "Want me to bring you breakfast in bed?" I shook my head, wrinkling my nose. That was just as embarrassing. "Well, it's either eat in here or eat downstairs. Carlisle's not going to let you skip breakfast. So what'll it be?" I groaned.

"Fine. Downstairs." He laughed, kissing my nose, then sat up, watching as I stretched slowly and forced myself to sit up.

"I'll wait downstairs." He kissed me then, holding me close once more as his lips moved against mine, and I forced myself to stay calm, to remember his words. I just had to wait…just a little longer.

Carlisle glanced up as he heard his son come down the stairs and glared at Emmett whose mouth was open to make what he was sure was a teasing remark. "Don't." He warned, shaking his head when Emmett pouted, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. He certainly wasn't going to allow Emmett to tease Bella about this…this was something private between Edward and his mate and he wouldn't allow Emmett to embarrass her. Esme looked up at Emmett as well, lifting an eyebrow and he sighed.

"I was just kidding." He grumbled.

"Bella will be embarrassed. Don't tease her."

"I wasn't going to tease her."

"I know where to find you." Edward warned, stepping into the kitchen where the three of them were assembled around the table, and opening the refrigerator.

"You think you can take me?" He grinned, leaning forward in excitement.

"Boys." Esme's voice was sharp as she looked between them, interrupting whatever Edward might have said. "Emmett, you're helping Alice today. You promised. Edward, what are you and Bella up to?" Carlisle grinned when his wife tried to distract their sons, dividing his attention between the medical charts and their conversation.

"I'm not sure…we may go out." He turned the burner on and began to fry eggs. "Hey, I never got to ask…how do you feel about dogs?" He wondered casually, and Carlisle grinned.

"I don't believe I've ever owned one…Esme?"

"Maybe once…when I was a child…it may have been a cat. I can't really remember. Why?"

"Bella always wanted one." He informed them. "But her mother wouldn't let her."

"Why not?" Esme wondered.

"I'm not sure…Bella said she claimed to be allergic but Bella didn't believe her." Esme sighed, mumbling about the woman and Carlisle placed his chin in his hand.

"I don't see a problem with it…she seems the type to take care of things, and this is her home…" He looked at Esme who smiled.

"As long as it's house trained." Edward grinned, turning back to his cooking, and Carlisle glanced up when he heard footsteps on the stairs.

"I'm assuming this is a surprise for her." Edward nodded, and Carlisle turned in his chair when the human girl entered the room, glancing at them warily. Knowing she was still embarrassed, although it was hard to remember a time when he'd been embarrassed about such things, he felt sympathy for her and stood, engulfing her in his arms, his hand going to her head naturally as he kissed to top of her head. "Good morning, sweetheart. How are you feeling?"

"Fine." She yawned, then caught his longsuffering look. "Good. Hungry." She corrected herself quickly. "How are you?" He laughed, ruffling her hair.

"I'm doing well. Come. Breakfast is nearly ready." Esme embraced the girl as well, smiling when the girl kissed on the cheek, and Emmett wrapped an arm around her as Edward placed a plate of eggs and toast in front of her.

"Where are Alice and Rosalie?" She wondered between bites, looking over at Edward who sat across from her.

"Still making calls." Esme laughed. "She's having the time of her life. She asked about having the wedding here, but I told her that she'd probably need to speak to you about that." Bella glanced between Esme and Carlisle, then at Edward.

"Um…if that's okay…" Edward took her hand, his eyes softening at her hesitant tone.

"Of course it's okay." Esme assured her. "It's your wedding, sweetheart. You can have it wherever you'd like. Alice will probably want to speak to you about everything soon…" She looked over at her husband and he knew their daughter's hesitation still made her sad, even if the girl had come such a long way since she'd moved in with them.

"Don't worry too much." Carlisle assured Bella. "Alice has planned so many weddings at this point, she knows what she's doing. But she'll make any changes if you ask her. She's worked with Rosalie several times." Bella nodded, taking another bite of eggs, and Carlisle glanced down at the file in front of him…her medical file, though only Edward knew that. Her appetite seemed to be coming back, for which he was grateful, and she looked to be picking up much needed weight. Her face was slightly fuller, although only a vampire would be able to tell the difference, and she seemed to be getting her strength back. Jasper was almost always monitoring her emotions and had told him that she was getting more and more stable, although he constantly worried about how the change would affect her. Last night she'd slept without nightmares or, more importantly, panic attacks, and he couldn't have been more grateful.

"Would you like to see Charlie today?" Edward asked her, his hand holding hers and his thumb caressing the back of her hand. "He'll be home…Alice texted me. Apparently Billy couldn't go fishing today." Bella smiled a little, her eyes thoughtful.

"Alright…if you don't mind."

"Not at all." And he meant it, of course. Carlisle could relate. He could spend the day doing anything with his wife, or his family, for that matter, and never grow bored.

Charlie was happy to see them, and he threw his arms first around Bella, then held out a hand to shake Edward's. Edward clasped Bella's hand as soon as she was free to do so, and they headed for the living room once again, Bella asking her father about his fishing trips and work, and Charlie asking her about staying at home and studying and life at the Cullens. He did ask if she'd spoken to Jacob recently, and Edward had watched her carefully, his hand squeezing hers as she'd told him no in a firm, quiet voice. When Charlie had been about to press, Edward had interrupted, telling him in no uncertain terms that they wouldn't let Jacob Black into their home. Of course he didn't fault Charlie…he'd only been asking for Billy who was worried about his son. Edward felt for Billy whose son was subject to Sam's will, but he also wouldn't allow Bella to be upset.

Thankfully, Charlie caught on and switched topics, asking about colleges once more. Edward mentioned that they'd both applied to Dartmouth in New Hampshire, ignoring Bella's shocked look. He mentioned that they had a house there and planned on moving soon regardless, since both Emmett and Rosalie wanted to go as well. He hadn't run this by Bella…honestly with all that had been going on, college had been low on their list of priorities. But he knew that Bella enjoyed learning and wondered if she'd like to attend college…once her tolerance for being around humans was higher and she was ready to continue her education. She loved science and did fairly well in math…she'd shown plenty of interest in Carlisle's studies and he wondered if she'd considered studying medicine. He would be more than willing to tutor her, and learning under Carlisle would give her the best education she could ask for. Of course, actually getting a job as a doctor would be difficult, but it could be done with the right fake ID's and the right training in pretending to be older. The fact that they would be married would help them pass as an older couple…which reminded him.

"Charlie, there was something I wanted to speak to you about." He spoke up when there was a lull in the conversation, and Charlie nodded.

"Yea, I figured when I saw the ring on her hand. I wondered when it would happen." Bella blushed and he chuckled. "I'm not blind, Bells." He reminded her with an easy grin. "So when's the wedding."

Relieved that Charlie wasn't upset, mostly because that would upset Bella, Edward leaned back against the sofa, tucking Bella against his side. "Well, Alice is doing most of the planning, but it's going to be after we graduate." He nodded, then looked between the two on the couch carefully. Edward caught Charlie's question before he asked it and tightened his arm around Bella.

"You gonna invite your mom?" He asked softly, looking at Bella who stiffened, and Edward knew that she hadn't yet thought about it.

"I…I'm not sure." Charlie's eyes softened and he leaned forward.

"It's your wedding, Bells." He told her. "If you don't want Renee there, you've still got Esme and Carlisle…and me." Edward was surprised…but it would have been hard to miss, the way his parents had adopted the girl into their family. He knew that she had a new family now, and he seemed to be okay with it, even if he was sad to have all but lost his daughter. Bella nodded, wiping at her eyes quickly, and changed the topic, asking about Billy.

They sat in the car for a little while, his eyes trained on her, and she finally turned and smiled. "Everything okay?" She asked. He nodded, squeezing her hand.

"Yes…are you aright?"

"Fine." His eyes narrowed and she sighed, obviously gathering herself. "I hadn't thought about Renee…but I don't want her at our wedding." He was surprised…and proud. She was telling him what was wrong, and she wasn't panicking or lying or trying to hide. He smiled, reaching out and cupping her face.

"Then she's not invited." He promised. "We won't send an announcement. I wouldn't have her husband here anyway, nor would Alice…although Jasper and Emmett would love to see him again." She giggled, touching his hand, then sitting back against the seat when he began driving again.

He felt her gaze on him every few minutes but she never asked where they were going. He merged onto the expressway and still she was silent, only turning on the radio and relaxing in the seat beside him, her eyes tracing the scenery as it raced by…although not too quickly. It was harder to get away with their usual ridiculous speeding during the day, and he hated making her nervous. Finally they reached Port Angeles, and although he normally hated driving slowly, he didn't mind at all…not with her sitting next to him, her hand encased in his.

After sending a quick text to Jasper, asking him to pick up a few things, he parked outside of a long building, the familiar smell of animals assaulting him immediately, and he turned to a confused Bella. "Where are we?" She asked, and he grinned, stepping out of the car, walking around as quickly as he could without arousing suspicion, and opened her door, holding out his hand to help her out of the car. He led her inside, gesturing to the sign on the door, and her eyes widened.

"Edward…you can't get me a dog!" She cried, looking at him with a mixture of amusement and what he was sure was suppressed hope.

"I'm not getting you a dog…I'm getting us a dog."

"But…Carlisle and Esme…"

"Said it was fine. They don't mind at all."

"But the others…"

"They don't mind either…Jasper's actually pet shopping…I didn't dare send Alice. Who knows what all she'd get." He shuddered playfully and she laughed, then looked at the door a little longingly.

"But…we're moving."

"You know, dogs are capable of riding in cars." She stuck her tongue out at him and he laughed. "You wanted a dog. So we'll get a dog. Okay?" She seemed about to argue, then bit her lip, looking up at him in thinly veiled excitement.

"It's really okay?"

"It's really okay." He chuckled when she threw her arms around him, holding her close for a moment before taking her hand. "Come on. We'd better pick one."

He watched her face as they entered the room, telling the woman that they were looking for a puppy. An adult dog would never be able to be around them…the smell would drive it crazy, as most adult animals were distrustful of them. But a puppy would become accustomed to it rather quickly. They were led to a long hall full of cages where puppies barked, their front paws on the gates as they yipped and howled, begging for attention, and Edward was entranced by her face as she knelt down, sticking her hands up to the cages and cooing at the little animals. Finally she stopped at a little black and tan dog that he recognized as a Doberman…or at least, it was predominately Doberman. He knelt beside her then, reaching out a hand to the little dog that sniffed him boldly, sneezing loudly, then went back to Bella, obviously not intimidated enough to refuse more pettings.

"That one's a mix…she's mostly Doberman though." The lady informed them. "About 12 weeks…her owner had more puppies than he knew what to do with, so he dropped a few here. She's the last one." Edward watched Bella laugh when the little dog playfully closed her mouth around her fingers, then began licking them, nuzzling the girl's hand.

"What do you think?" He asked, smiling a little when the dog tried to investigate him again, this time giving his hand a hesitant lick, then returning be Bella.

"Do you like her?" He nodded.

"Do you?" He asked, grinning and kissing her cheek when she nodded shyly. "Alright. We'll take her." The lady smiled, nodding and disappearing into a small side room, producing a little black slip lead that she placed over the dog's neck expertly through the cage, then handed the end to Bella who, after crouching down to pet the dog, found herself with an armful of wiggly, licking puppy. Giggling, she turned her face away, wrinkling her nose when it went for her mouth, and Edward found himself mesmerized for a long moment before he heard the woman's thoughts, concentrating on them for the first time since arriving.

'What a sweet couple. That boy's obviously in love with her…I wonder…oh she's wearing a ring. I suppose they're engaged. Just look at the way he looks at her…oh it reminds me of my John…' He looked over at her and the thoughts cut off, and she gestured for them to follow her. Edward filled out all the paperwork and paid the fee, taking the forms that proved the puppy had her shots and that everything was in order, and they left with the little dog wriggling in Bella's arms. As they reached the car, Bella sat the little puppy down and threw her own arms around Edward, her head resting under his chin.

"Thank you." She mumbled, and he put his arms around her, kissing her forehead. Because he knew what she was really thinking, even if he couldn't read her mind. She was thinking of her own mother who, out of fear of inconveniencing herself, had denied her daughter so many things, and of her new family that was so willing to make her happy, to give her whatever she wanted, and so many things she would never ask for.

"I love you." He whispered, finding her lips, then turned to look at the ground when the puppy barked expectantly at them, jumping up and placing her paws on his leg. "Oh alright." He said with a laugh, bending over and reaching for the dog. She stiffened a little, sniffing at him, but apparently decided that it was okay, because she allowed him to pick her up without a fight, even reaching up to give his face a tentative lick. Bella climbed into the car and he placed the dog on her lap, then went around to the driver's side. "Now we just have to name her."

Bella smiled, her hand ruffling the fur of the puppy on her lap who rolled over on her back, allowing Bella to scratch her stomach and nipped playfully at her fingers. "Any ideas?" He shook his head.

"It's up to you." He insisted and she looked down at the dog thoughtfully as she curled up in Bella's lap, closing her eyes and relaxing.

"Good girl." Bella murmured, stroking the dog's fur as they drove toward home. Suddenly her lips turned up at the corners. "How about Carlie?"

"Carlie?" He tried to think of where she would have come up with that, then grinned. "Carlie it is." He agreed, wondering how their fathers would feel about her naming a puppy after them.


	21. Chapter 21

Jasper crossed his arms, sitting back in the chair across from the principal who, apparently, had nothing better to do with his Saturday morning than to question him. Esme stood by the door, her posture tense, and he relaxed a little, trying to calm everyone in the room. Both his mother and his principal seemed anxious and he wondered if he was projecting. 'Bella is fine. They can't get to her. She's with Edward…he'll keep her safe. He knows what to do if she has a panic attack. I'm being ridiculous.' He wished he could go back and tell himself…the Jasper that had fought in an army of newborns and eliminated them, that one day he would be sitting in a high school principal's office and being interrogated for nearly killing a high school bully who'd threatened his human baby sister…who he was currently out-of-mind worried about. 'She's doing so much better.' He told himself firmly. 'She's healing…you can't be with her all day, every day. Stop overreacting.' He hadn't asked Edward where they were going today, as he'd headed straight to the school and was soon joined by Esme.

"So you heard Levi speaking about Isabella." Jasper nearly groaned. Years in the military, both as a human and as a vampire, and then what felt like a lifetime of dealing with Edward's mind reading and Emmett's crazy on a daily basis, had not given him the patience to deal with this.

"Yes." He answered in a calm voice, betraying none of his irritation as he repeated his story. "His friend told him that he owed him twenty dollars if he couldn't 'get Bella' by the end of the week. He responded by saying that we had her 'on lockdown.'"

"And then you attacked him?" The accusation wasn't much of a question and Jasper rolled his eyes.

"I tried." He grumbled, still upset that he hadn't even gotten one good punch in, and he felt Esme's warning glare. "Yes. I got up and confronted him."

"What did he say to you then?"

Jasper hesitated. The words felt dirty…make him feel sick. He couldn't imagine it…couldn't bring himself to think about it…hurting her like that…forcing her to endure something like that from him…someone she trusted absolutely. "He said, 'so you can do what you want to her but if the rest of us…'" He paused, clenching his jaw and ignoring Esme's wave of sympathy. "And then I attacked him."

"Did you think that maybe you should have spoken to a teacher?"

"Well they certainly haven't done anything to protect my sister so far, so no. I did not." He snapped.

"Mr. Hale, I would appreciate if you would mind your tone." He snapped back, and I felt my hackles rise, my fists clenching tightly and my muscles ready.

'He's basically the reason that Bella's hurt….' He could see it in his mind...racing up the stairs after being sent home, barely stopping in time to grab her a glass of water. And then he'd opened the door to her bedroom, able to make out her face in the dark easily. Her emotions had been overwhelming at first, pain, sorrow, and fear all crashing into him, and he'd eased them as quickly as he could, taking a second to smile a little at her gratitude. After holding her head and helping her take a drink, he'd climbed into bed beside her, accepting her easily when she clung to him, her tears soaking into his shirt as she continued to cry pitifully. And then when he'd seen her arm…when he'd felt Emmett's shock and rage at the angry red marks that represented so much more than her fingernails on her skin…he'd wanted to cry himself. 'She's my baby sister…my fragile, clumsy, sweet, so human baby sister.' He'd remembered her laugh as she teased him in class about their stupid Civil War lessons, her amusement making it so much more bearable, and her face when she tried so hard to beat him at chess, and the way she fell asleep with her head on his lap sometimes, curled in a ball like she always slept, the, hopefully, only remainder from their abandonment…and he wondered who could hurt her like this? Who would even want to? What would make someone drive his little sister, who he had come to love so much, to hurting herself just to cope with the pain.

'Your fault.' He hoped the words were evident in his eyes as he stared the man down. 'She was nearly shattered and it's your fault. Because you are such a blind idiot, my little sister was nearly broken, and I don't know if we could have fixed her. If we hadn't caught it…if she wasn't so bad at hiding anything from us…if I wasn't gifted…' He shuddered to think, pushing the terrible what-ifs away.

"Is that all you need, Mr. Greene?" Esme asked pointedly, obviously tired of their staring contest. Jasper looked at the floor, granting him a reprieve.

'I won't kill you. It would hurt my family. That is the only reason you are safe. If I could get away with it, they would never find your body. I would leave you to rot with Lauren Mallory at the bottom of the river, you coward.'

"Yes. That's all. Thank you Jasper." He nodded, standing and making his way past Esme who would remain and go over what had happened. It was getting harder and harder not to give in and attack the man…it was all too easy to plan his murder. Right as he was wondering if the man had any family that would miss him, his phone chimed in his pocket and he pulled it out, the corners of his mouth coming up in an involuntary smile as he read the screen, and then he chuckled.

"Pet shopping it is." He shook his head with a grin, climbing onto the sleek motorbike that Edward had so graciously given him that he was so rarely able to actually ride in this rainy place without attracting attention.

Carlie wriggled around on my lap, her feet moving in her sleep, and I giggled, placing a hand on her side and smiling when she calmed, nuzzling my hand. I glanced up at the road, but felt eyes on me and turned, my face reddening when I realized I was trapped in Edward's adoring gaze. He only chuckled when the blood rushed to my face, turning back to the road, and I realized I'd been dazzled. "Um…so Carlisle and Esme…"

"They know." He assured me. "I did ask first. And of course Alice knows now…and Emmett….and I asked Jasper to pick up some things. No one minds, love. They're just happy that you're happy." I blushed again, focusing on the little dog on my lap.

"She's not afraid of you." I pointed out. He shook his head.

"No…she'll be a little wary at first, but she'll get used to the scent. Usually young animals do." He glanced over once more and smiled at the little dog, or maybe at my hand resting on her back, the ring sparkling on my finger. "I love you." He told me softly, reaching out and catching my left hand.

"I love you too." I smiled at him, leaning back in the seat and watching the familiar forest flash by. A loud, nearly familiar noise caught my ear as we parked and I glanced over to find a sleek, black motorbike that Edward had given to Jasper pull up around the corner. Jasper stopped the motorbike next to my side of the car as we pulled into the garage, a backpack slung over his back, and climbed off the bike as I stepped out of the car, a now awake Carlie in my arms. She wriggled when she saw him, whining a little as she fought my hold, and I giggled, setting her down and watching as she jumped on her back legs, hopping around, and then placed her front paws on his legs. He grinned, crouching down and rubbing her head, chuckling when she tried to lick his face.

"Hey. Easy girl. What's her name?" He asked, lifting her into his arms.

"Carlie." I answered, stepping closer and putting an arm around him when he pulled me into a half hug. "Where have you been? You weren't here this morning."

"I had to…take care of something." He evaded my question. "But I did get some shopping done as well, per Edward's request." He pulled the backpack off his shoulder, placing the wriggly dog on the ground and handing Edward the large backpack.

"Thanks, Jasper." Edward came up beside me, placing his hand in mine, and laughed when Carlie jumped up around our legs, placing her front paws on out legs and yipping.

"Get down." My brother scolded her gently, stepping back and turning away from her. She whined a little, sitting down at his feet, and he laughed, kneeling once more and petting her head. "Good girl. Who picked her out?"

"Bella."

"Of course." He grinned up at me. "Good choice. Look at those paws. She'll get pretty big." He spoke gently, taking her paws in his hands and laughing when she barked playfully and pulled away, nipping at him and then running back and trying to jump into my arms. He straightened. "I need to talk to Esme, and then Alice is dragging me somewhere to do something for the wedding."

He reached out and mussed my hair, staring at me searchingly for a long moment, then turning, meeting Edward's eyes for a second, then left. "Is he okay?" I asked Edward softly, although I was sure our brother could probably hear us.

"He's fine…" Edward trailed off, eyeing the door for a moment, then smiled at me. "Well, let's see what he got." I picked up the lead and he opened the door to the kitchen where I was suddenly grabbed by Emmett who lifted me off the ground and spun me around. I gasped, my heartbeat accelerating as I grabbed his shirt, squeaking in shock.

Before I could shout at him, although I wasn't really angry, Carlie snarled from her place on the ground, barking loudly and lunging at Emmett's legs, scratching at him. Edward and Emmett laughed aloud and Emmett placed me gently down, grinning at the little dog that moved to stand between us, teeth bared. "I like her!" He announced, kneeling down and holding out a hand. Surprised at his easy grin when the dog was all but snarling at him, I knelt beside Carlie, hesitantly holding her back. "Can't blame her for protecting you." He told me with a shrug, reaching out and rubbing her head with a large hand, ignoring her when she tired to bite.

"We certainly picked the right dog." Edward agreed, reaching over and removing the lead. "She'll be fine. We won't have any trouble catching her." He assured me, moving to stop her when she tried to lunge for Emmett.

"Oh alright. I wasn't going to hurt her." Emmett defended himself to the puppy, letting the little dog chew on his hand with a long-suffering look.

"Don't encourage that." Edward reprimanded him, and I scooped Carlie into my arms where she snuggled, licking my chin.

"I thought you had to help Alice?" I pointed out.

"Yea…" He sighed.

"You promised, Em." Edward reminded him, and he rolled his eyes.

"I know…" He mumbled.

"What does she want you to do?" I wondered.

"Something about decorations….I wasn't really listening." He looked at me for a moment, then sighed. "Well, it is for your wedding." He grumbled, shaking his head. "I'll see you guys later." He sighed, heading out to the garage.

"Alice is in town talking to a wedding planner. Don't ask…I didn't really listen either. But Emmett is supposed to meet her there. And she has Jasper helping her look at food. No, don't ask." He chuckled. "I have no idea…she's going to sit down with us and go over everything in a week or so when she's got some more definite ideas. I think she's making a scrap book." I laughed. "And Rosalie is helping…and Esme is meeting her at some point today…" He glanced up at the ceiling. "I'll set up her food and water dish. Alex texted Jasper and said she'd just sleep with you so he didn't get her a bed."

"Is that okay?"

"Of course, if you don't mind. Now why don't you show her to Carlisle? He's in his study." I nodded, adjusting my hold on the little dog. "Oh…let's take her out first…"

After letting her go outside, where she sniffed the ground for a good half hour before she bothered going to the bathroom, Edward caught her easily and handed her off to me, letting me take her upstairs while he sat downstairs and poured some food and water in bowls for her.

Carlisle's office door was open and Carlie yipped, squirming in my arms as she sniffed the air anxiously. Carlisle sat at his desk, still thumbing through a thick medical text and going through his stack of files. "Hello Bella. Did you have fun?" I nodded, laughing when she turned and licked my face, then tried to get down once again. Pushing away from his desk, he held his arms out. "May I?" I leaned over, placing her in his arms, and she stilled instantly, sniffing his face and neck, then his hands that held her. She sneezed loudly, shaking her head, then licked his hand tentatively. His eyes were kind as he stroked her back, letting her settle in his lap.

"Are you still…doing what you were doing last time?" He grinned, beckoning me over.

"Yes." He opened a medical textbook, pointing to a passage he'd placed in brackets. "And there are at least three patients at the hospital with similar symptoms." I peered at the words, skimming the text and then frowning at him thoughtfully.

"Is it the same illness? Or is it just something similar? Could it be treated the same way? Or did it have a treatment?" I started to look at the passage again, missing his grin.

"What do you want to do after high school, Bella?" I looked up at him in surprise. "I mean, after the wedding, and after Edward changes you."

"Um…well I'm pretty sure he's already applied to a few colleges for me." I told him with a grin. He shook his head.

"You certainly won't be forced to go if you don't want to. We have plenty of options to keep our cover. What would you like to do?"

"I mean…once I'm able I would like to go to college…"

"You have excellent grades in science…and all of your science classes have been advanced since middle school. Have you thought about medicine?" My eyes widened. "I only ask because Edward, and myself of course, along with Rosalie, all have advanced medical degrees and would be more than willing to tutor you."

"I…did think about it. If I were able to practice medicine…I would like to try." His eyes softened a little.

"I have no doubt you could. Edward practiced alongside me informally for a while, on cases where no blood was involved, of course."

"But if I were to work at a hospital…"

"We would help you, Bella. It can be done. And you would have plenty of time to accustom yourself to the smell of blood." He glanced up when Carlie, apparently bored of our conversation, leapt from his lap and began sniffing the carpet, then moved to the bookcases and sniffed the books. "She's fine." He assured me when I started to move to get her. "She's not going to hurt anything." I nodded. "Well, if do decide to go to college, it's something to think about." He stood, placing an arm on my shoulder, then kissed my forehead. "I better get going. The hospital has been a bit short staffed later. I'll see you later." I followed him out, Carlie on my heels. "Goodbye, Carlie." He said with some amusement as he hurried down the stairs and out the door, and I realized he knew where I'd gotten the name. Smiling ruefully, I followed, my new dog on my heels.

Edward glanced up when his father left, smiling in greeting and then waving as he hurried off, then turned to watch Bella come down the staircase, Carlie on her heels, looking around curiously as she was allowed to walk around on her own. The puppy trotted over to the water bowl as soon as she was on solid ground, lapping at the water, and he watched Bella watch the puppy. The look of delight in her eyes…he couldn't stop smiling, and he knew that the little dog was his new favorite present.

"I heard you talking to Carlisle." He began carefully, watching her climb onto a barstool and cross her arms, watching him curiously. "Bella…I did apply to several schools for you." He admitted. She only shrugged and he supposed that she'd figured that. "But I never meant to make you think that you had to go to college. If you don't want to…if you never want to, that's okay. I think you'd enjoy it, but it isn't my choice."

"I have thought about it." She admitted softly. "A lot…I would like to study medicine. And I'd like to try it…being a doctor. It's what I always wanted to be. But…being around people, especially if they're bleeding…won't that be dangerous?" He sighed, sitting beside her, once more aware of all she was giving up.

"Yes." He wouldn't lie to her. "Carlisle hardly notices anymore, but it took him a long time to perfect his control. We have no idea how you'll be, although Carlisle can help you build your tolerance. And if you aren't able to be around blood, then you can still get a degree and do something else…if you want. You can teach college courses or you can study something else…Alice works with computers sometimes, and Rosalie gave piano lessons. Jasper's been a lawyer a few times. And of course Esme teaches."  
"What about you?" She asked curiously and he grinned.

"I've done many things as well. I mostly help Carlisle stay up to date with the latest medical technology. I've been a computer technician. I studied law with Jasper in Alaska. I was a mechanic. A music professor. Once I was an interpreter."

"Really?" She stared at him, fascinated rather than disturbed, and he couldn't stop the small, gentle smile as he reached out and touched her face.

"I've had plenty of time to kill. And college is much less tiresome than high school. But my point is, you have all the time you want. You can study whatever you like, do whatever you want." She smiled, her eyes lighting up, and he leaned forward, placing his lips against hers, and held her tightly to him. He loved nothing more than making her happy, and it seemed he'd been spot on with the puppy.


	22. Chapter 22

Jasper parked the motorbike by Alice's yellow Porsche, climbing off and pulling out his cellphone as he dropped his keys into his pocket. He grinned when he realized that he'd missed five calls from his wife, all probably demanding he hurry up and get to the wedding planner. Apparently he was helping her pick out food, although he had no idea why she didn't maybe ask Bella…the only one of them that actually ate food. "It has to be a surprise!" He shook his head at the text message that popped up on his screen, not realizing that he'd been planning on asking. 'What's the point?' He wondered in bemusement as he made his was across the parking lot at a leisurely pace, in no hurry to help his wife with this particular job.

He'd helped plan several of Rosalie's weddings, and he was more inclined to help with Bella's, but that didn't mean he enjoyed it. He and Emmett usually suffered in silence, doing their part as quickly as possible, anxious to get back to hunting or playing or something not quite so tedious. Of course, Emmett always faked the appropriate amount of enthusiasm to placate Rosalie. Jasper grinned, knowing exactly why Emmett was always happy to give Rosalie her wedding. The numerous beds they had destroyed were a testament to his willingness to marry her as many times as she wanted.

He and Alice had only had one wedding, which Rosalie had insisted on shortly after they'd joined the family. He'd been happy to do it, and would have married Alice as many times as she'd wanted, but like him, Alice didn't feel the need to have the ceremony more than once. In her eyes, they were joined forever, and there was nothing that could separate them. He suddenly remembered when she and Bella had gone after Edward, how he'd sat in the floor in the corner, his head in his hands, pleading with God to save his wife. He was a little ashamed that he'd not thought much about Edward or Bella, but at that point, he'd have given anything to have Alice back. The others had gathered around the room anxiously, Carlisle and Esme sitting together on the sofa, and Rosalie and Emmett in the kitchen, making him feel even more alone.

His clenched his hands into fists, pushing the door to the small office open and stepping inside. He grinned when he saw Alice, her back to him as she spoke to a woman in her early forties, and he hurried up to her, wrapping his arms around the tiny girl and kissing her cheek. She giggled, turning around and wrapping her arms around him, kissing him quickly. "There you are." She scolded. "I was starting to think you weren't coming."

"I said I'd come, didn't I?" He asked, stepping away but keeping her hand. "Edward sent me shopping."  
"Ooh you met Carlie! Isn't she sweet! Bella picked out such a good dog." He chuckled. Of course Alice would have seen this new addition to their family.

"Hey. There you are. Come on. You're helping me with the food." He sighed, nodding a hello to his sister. "Where's Emmett?"

"No idea." He lied, ignoring Alice's reprimanding stare. "What do you need to me do?" He asked as he followed Rosalie into another room where she grabbed her purse.

"Come with me. We have seventeen shops to visit by tonight."

"Seventeen! Rosalie, it's nearly one o'clock." He scolded her. "Those places are going to close in a few hours."

"Which is why you should have gotten here earlier!" She snapped, grabbing his arm and tugging him toward the door. He gave a long-suffering sigh and let her drag him out the door. Emmett stepped aside, laughing at Rosalie's glare. "You're late!" She snapped, avoiding him when he leaned in to kiss her. "Alice is going to kill you if you don't get in there." Emmett chuckled, waving to Jasper as Rosalie drug him out to the Porsche.

"Have fun Jazz!" Rolling his eyes, Jasper managed to lift his middle finger in acknowledgment before he was shoved into the passenger's seat.

"You are so late." Alice growled at Emmett as he stepped inside, his laughter disappearing as he tried for an appeasing grin.

"Sorry Ali…"

"Don't 'sorry Ali' me! We have a wedding to plan and…"

"Oh come on. We've still got plenty of time…"

The wedding planner, a woman he had yet to be introduced to, jumped back when Alice grabbed him by the collar, pushing him up against the wall. "This is for our baby sister's wedding! I promised her that it would be perfect and if she doesn't like it, I swear to god Emmett, I will tear you apart!"

He swallowed lightly, lifting his hands in surrender. He'd never fought with his sister…never had the need. Her prophetic abilities gave her an edge in sparring and he'd never had a falling out with her. So he wasn't particularly anxious to go there. "Alright. Alright. I'm sorry. I'm here, okay? What do you need help with?" She released him, and gestured to the woman.

"Marie, this is my brother, Emmett. He's going to b helping with the decorations to help me get some ideas Make sure he looks through all of the books and picks out the ones Bella would like best. I get final approval of everything." She turned back to Emmett before bustling off through another door. "They better be good, Emmett." She threatened.

He grinned ruefully at the surprised wedding planner, reaching out and shaking her offered hand gently. "My sister's a bit…on edge." He offered, shrugging a little. "So where are the books?"  
"Ah, yes of course. This way." She led him into a small office where a small table sat in the corner, about five books stacked in the middle.

"That's not so bad." He shrugged, heading over to the table.

"Ah…well…" She gesture to the bookshelf on the wall, filled to capacity with thick volumes that rivaled Carlisle's medical texts. "Take all the time you need." She said with an apologetic smile. "Ms. Alice mentioned that you would be here every day until you finished…feel free to take a couple of books home." With that, she shut the door behind her and he dropped into the chair, groaning.

"For Bella. I'm doing this for Bella." He grumbled, grabbing the top book and opening the cover, wincing at the ghastly pink themed wedding reception hall pictured there, then allowed himself a brief grin at Bella's face if he used this. 'Hm…better not.'

"For the last time, Rosalie, I don't know!" She clenched her jaw when he snapped at her. "I don't eat cake, therefore I have no idea what kind she would like!"

"God Jasper! Could you be any less helpful! Just help me pick a design! We still have to find appetizers!"  
"We have at least three months until the wedding!" He cried, incredulous.

"Three months!? You think that's enough time to plan a wedding!?"

"Well you've certainly had enough of them, and I can't remember running around like this for any of yours!"

"Excuse me!? Just because I don't…"

There was a soft clearing of a throat to their left and they whirled, pulling away from where they'd been leaning into one another's faces. "Um…would you like to…see another book?" The woman clasped her hands nervously and Jasper forced himself to smile a little.

"We're fine. Thanks." Nodding anxiously, the girl turned and fled, leaving them to their fighting. 'Why did Alice put me with Rosalie today?' He wondered as she resumed screaming at him, jabbing her finger in his chest. 'Maybe I can convince Alice to let me take Bella out to find a cake. I'll bet she'd be more fun to look with.'

"Rosalie Hale! You stop that this instant!" Both froze and turned slowly, facing Esme's furious face. "I know you know better than to behave that way in public. Stop hitting your brother right now!" Rosalie dropped her hand, crossing her arms and glaring at the floor petulantly. "And Jasper! You promised that you'd help your sister pick out a cake!" He sighed, not bothering to argue that he hadn't exactly promised anything…he'd been volunteered. "The two of you know better than this. Now apologize to one another and show me what you've got so far."

"Sorry Jasper." Rosalie murmured, her eyes promising that she wasn't sorry in the least.

"Sorry Rose." He apologized a little more genuinely, then turned and grabbed the book, opening it to one of the pages. "So we were looking at something like this."

After sending Esme to sort out Rose and Jazz, and giving Emmett a hundred books to sort through, Alice was off to look at dresses. Of course she knew that she probably wouldn't find anything anytime soon, but she switched on her touch screen tablet, scrolling through several online stores and making notes on the best ones. Bella's wedding dress would have to be kept a secret from Edward, while everything else, including the general idea for the food and decorations would be presented to them in the form of the scrapbook she was putting together. Thankfully money was no object, but Bella wasn't a fan of extravagance, so she was trying to stick to subtle and classic, rather than the style she usually gave Rosalie.

The guest list was another problem. She knew that Angela would be invited, along with Ben and maybe Jessica. She couldn't see that causing any problems. And of course Charlie. She wanted to get the clan from Alaska down to meet Bella as well. She knew that Bella didn't want to see Renee, and so she wouldn't invite her or her husband…although she did enjoy the vision of Phil's demise that would result. Jasper certainly seemed to be enjoying himself…it would be a lovely anniversary present for him… She shoved the thought away, focusing on dresses. She had a feeling they would have to actually have Bella present to have it sized but since her mind was shut to Edward, that wasn't the problem. Instead she thought of her little sister's small frame…how those days when she could barely keep food down had affected her. Humans couldn't see it as well, but she was finally starting to look a little healthier, her thin face filling out and her skin gaining some color.

But it reminded her of coming back to Forks, her desperate flight, the deep seeded hope that maybe, just maybe, her vision had been wrong. She'd never prayed so hard for a vision to be wrong. She would have given anything…and then when Bella had come through that door…throwing her arms around Alice… She couldn't describe that feeling…that relief. But then she'd looked at her. Alice had watched as she'd slept, her face too thin, her clothes loose on her shrunken frame. She'd seemed so ridiculously breakable. And as Alice had listened to Charlie describe the last few months of Bella's life, she had never felt such a fury toward her older brother that she loved so much. 'This is all his fault.' She hadn't been able to think past it for a moment when that realization had hit her. 'He did this to her.'

Alice shook her head, trying to dislodge the thoughts. Everything was okay now…well not okay, but better. Bella was recovering, everyone was happy. She was sure…

Blood. Bella was bleeding, a cut above her eye causing the red liquid to stream down her face. But that wasn't the bad part. She was lying on the floor, a figure crouching over her…a girl lay dead on the floor a few feet away. "Bella? Bella talk to me!" Jasper's voice…it was Jasper. He touched her cheek, ignoring the blood that made his eyes darken. She opened her mouth, but only a strangled cough came out.

Alice jerked back to the present, dropping the tablet and pulling out her phone, pressing speed dial 4. "Edward! Edward where's Bella?"

"Right here." His voice was instantly worried. "Why? What's wrong Alice?"

"Is she okay? Where are you guys?" She demanded, not caring that she was scaring him.

"Alice, we're at the house. Bella is sitting next to me on the couch. The dog is in her lap. We're watching a movie. What's going on?" His voice was frustrated and she knew it was because he wanted to see her vision, but she never wanted him to see that.

"Just…don't go anywhere tonight, okay? Maybe…maybe it'll change."

"Maybe what will change?" He demanded.

"Keep her close Edward." He started to speak but she hung up, putting the phone in her pocket and dropping her head in her hands.

"Please." She whispered, not even sure who she was praying to. Carlisle was the one who prayed. Not her. "Please keep her safe. Please, please don't let anyone else hurt my sister." She chocked on her words, too absorbed to hear the door behind her close and a large hand touch her shoulder.

"What happened, Ali? Is everyone okay?" She took a shuddering breath, turning back to Emmett.

"Everything's fine. Get back to work." She ordered half heartedly, not reprimanding him when he didn't move and accepting his comfort when he wrapped his arms around her. "Everything is going to be fine." She whispered again, willing it to be true.

Jasper pulled his bike into the garage, firmly avoiding Rosalie's glare and all but stormed into the house, slamming the door behind him in Rosalie's face. Carlisle, chopping up some kind of human food in the kitchen, glanced up at him a little reprovingly. "A*shole." Rosalie snapped, throwing the door open. He opened his mouth to reply, but was glad he hadn't when Carlisle put down his knife.

"Rosalie!" He reprimanded her softly. "Language."

"Well he is!" She cried. "He was absolutely useless all day, and he's being a complete di…jerk." She corrected herself.

"I helped pick a design didn't I?"

"Yea barely! Practically had to force you to…"

"Well if you hand't been dragging me around all…"

"That was hardly my fault when you're the one who…"

"Enough!" Carlisle interrupted sternly, putting an end to their increasingly loud conversation. "If the two of you are going to scream at each other, you can go outside and do it where you won't worry Bella."

"Oh heaven forbid!" Jasper snapped, feeling Rosalie's irritation along with his own after a long day. "It's not like we haven't all been running around for her we…" He froze, cutting himself off when he felt an overwhelming wave of hurt and pain, then heard a deep growl. He immediately cursed himself. "No…god, no I didn't meant that." He told Carlisle beseechingly. "I'm just aggravated with Rosalie and she's mad and it makes it harder to…" He shook his head, running a rough hand through his hair. "Sorry." Glancing over at the doorway, he found Edward glaring at him, arms crossed. "Please tell me she didn't…"

"Oh she did." He growled. "Every word."

Jasper swore loudly. "Edward I didn't mean that. You know I don't mind helping with her wedding! I just spent the last few hours getting screamed at and drug around by Rosalie." The girl started to argue but Carlisle cut her off.

"I think you've said enough Rosalie. According to Esme, you certainly haven't made things easy for Jasper today." She whirled and stormed out of the room, slamming the garage door on her way out. Jasper looked up at the ceiling where he could feel Bella's hurt. "Well go on. I think you have some apologizing to do." Jasper nodded, rushing out of the room to avoid Carlisle's disappointed glare.

He hadn't meant it. Of course he hadn't meant it…he loved Bella. He'd do anything for her. But with the irritation Rosalie was feeling and the pent up anger he felt and Carlisle's irritation with them…it al seemed to build, pressing down on him from all sides until he couldn't help but lash out. He'd never meant to say that. He understood that Bella was fragile at the moment and that her emotions were hard for her to control…he understood the depression that came with self harm…the tedious climb back up to normalcy and stability. 'I have to explain it to her…and hope that she'll forgive me.' He told himself firmly. The alternative was too painful to consider.


	23. Chapter 23

I leaned against Edward's side, his arm draped over my shoulders, and Carlie asleep on my lap over the blanket. She absently played with a toy I obligingly tugged on, growling playfully as she backed onto Edward's leg and tugged back. Edward chuckled, resting his hand on her back briefly then let her get back to her game. He leaned over, his lips against my cheek briefly, and I turned, bringing my hand up to his face. He turned and kissed me in earnest, his arms moving around my back, and I forgot about the dog on my lap as I turned to meet him, leaning forward as he pulled me close. She yipped when she was dumped on the floor, then picked up her toy and trotted a few feet away. He leaned back, pulling me against his chest.

His lips pressed against my neck, moving up my jaw and he inhaled deeply, his hand moving down my back. I shifted against him, my hand moving around the back of his head and scratching my nails in his hair. He groaned, his fingers digging into my back gently, moving down my spine. I gasped when he nuzzled my neck, his lips…pausing as his phone chimed in his pocket. He sighed, closing his eyes and dropping his head back on the pillow. Swearing softly, he sat up, ignoring my giggle, and then pulled his phone out. I couldn't make out Alice's words but she spoke urgently. He glanced over where I was now sitting beside him. "Right here. Why, what's wrong Alice?" He asked, his arm moving around my shoulders and pulling me closer. Irritated at being ignored, Carlie jumped back onto the couch, climbing back into my lap and nuzzling my stomach.

"Alice, we're at the house. Bella is sitting next to me on the couch. The dog is in her lap. We're watching a movie. What's going on?" I frowned at his frustration, gently placing my hand on his arm. He glanced at me once more. "Maybe what will change?" He snapped, his hand tightening around the phone. But then he snapped the phone shut, obviously irritated.

"Edward? What's wrong?"

He looked at me for a long minute. "Nothing. Just…" He caught my expression and sighed. "Okay, I don't know. She sounded worried. She probably had a vision but she wouldn't tell me what it was." I glanced around us, and I must have looked anxious because he held me closer. "We're safe here, Bella. I'll just have to keep you close." He kissed my temple, pulling me against him.

We spent most of the day alternately watching movies, playing tug-o-war with Carlie who delighted in the game, or taking her out. Each time we went outside, he stayed right by my side until he had to go catch her. But she seemed to like staying near us, and her favorite game was chasing us...or having us chase her around the yard. Of course, she could never hope to catch Edward, but when he pulled me on his back and flashed across the yard for the first time, she'd stared at us in wide eyed shock before barking loudly, chasing us down once more. I had just dropped from Edward's back and was laying on my back, laughing as she licked my face and climbed all over me, when a car pulled into the driveway. Carlisle stepped out of his car, walking over to the place where Edward sat beside me, laughing softly. "Hello." He greeted the little dog that jumped up, pawing at his pants, and leapt into his open arms.

"I thought you had to work all night." I took Edward's hand and stood, reaching for the little dog that was happily licking my father's face. He chuckled and handed her off to me, wrapping an arm around me and kissing the top of my head.

"No. Today was a short shift. They had a few extra doctors there, and it was a slow night. Esme and I were going to go for a hunt tonight." I let Carlie down where she went back to trying to chase us around, then ran a few feet away, watching us in excitement, apparently wanting us to chase her. Edward laughed, flitting over to her, lifting her, and brining her back. Judging by the startled look on her face, she hadn't been expecting that. "Have you eaten?"

I looked at him in surprise. "What time is it?" He gave Edward a disapproving look. "I lost track of time…" He sighed, shaking his head.

"What would you like?" I shook my head, eyes wide.

"No…I'll make…"

"I insist." He said firmly. "I'll surprise you." He told me wryly, turning and leaving us in the yard with me looking anxiously at Edward.

"Don't worry. He wanted to cook you something. Come on. She's getting tired." He scooped the yawning puppy into his arms and led me inside, and we sat on the couch where he unpaused the movie, tucking the blanket around me and grinning at Carlie who he deposited into my lap.

A few minutes later the door slammed and I heard Rosalie snap at Jasper and heard Carlisle scold them. "I helped pick a design didn't I?" Jasper growled, and I frowned at Edward, placing Carlisle on the floor.

"Yea barely! Practically had to force you to…"

"Well if you hadn't been dragging me around all…"

"That was hardly my fault when you're the one who…" I stood as they all but screamed at each other, Edward following suit, frowning in concern. I'd never heard Jasper sound like that.

"Enough!" Carlisle interrupted. "If the two of you are going to scream at each other, you can go outside and do it where you won't worry Bella." I flinched a little. Rosalie might not be my enemy anymore, but would she blame this on me?

"Oh heaven forbid!" Jasper snarled, and I felt my heart stutter in shock. "It's not like we haven't all been running around for herwe…" I jerked away from Edward who'd grabbed my hand and turned, running up the stairs, unaware that Carlie was following on my heels as I made my way to the study, waiting for the little dog to enter before I shut the door, turning the little lock.

'He's mad…he hates me.' I brought my hand up to my mouth, biting down on my knuckle and feeling a soft sob, thinking of the kindness he's shown me before. I had been prepared to accept those emotions from Rosalie…but from Jasper? 'I didn't make him do this…I didn't think…he…' I shook my head, sitting down on my desk chair, my breath coming in gasps as I cried. 'I thought he didn't mind…I'll call Alice. I'll tell her to stop having him help…to stop having Emmett help if he doesn't want to.' I bit down hard on my knuckle, crying softly as I thought about his words. Jasper had never been angry with me. 'Maybe he doesn't really like me. Maybe he hates helping me. He probably thinks I'm so stupid…I can't do anything for myself and I have those stupid panic attacks and…' Carlie placed a paw on my leg, scratching at my jeans, and I knelt on the floor beside her, catching my breath as I pulled her into my arms and sobbed into her side, the little warm puppy staying put, letting me cry into her fur.

After a few minutes, there was a soft knock on the door, and I bit down on my knuckle once again. "Bella?" Jasper's voice was back to gentle and I chocked back a sob, remembering how angry he was. "Please let me in, Bella." He begged, a testament to the fact that he wasn't angry enough to force the door open. I stood a little shakily, slowly opening the door, then stepped back when he moved forward, interrupting him when he started to speak.

"Please, I'm sorry. You don't have to help, Jasper, I'll tell Alice. Please…" I put my hand over my mouth, still sobbing, and Jasper stepped forward, wrapping his arms around me.

"Shh, Bella." He whispered, holding my head against his shoulder as I cried, trembling. He led me over to the chair, sitting down and pulling me onto his lap. "Oh Bella…I'm so sorry. Shh, please don't cry, darlin. I didn't mean it." He sounded like he was pleading with me, which I didn't understand. Pulling away, I looked up at him in confusion. "Bella I am so sorry. I…I can explain. Really. But I didn't mean it. I wasn't angry with you, darlin. I'm never angry with you. I am angry with Rosalie. B*tch yelled at me for three hours straight today." I had to laugh a little, even if I was still crying, knowing that Rosalie could probably hear. "I'm so sorry, Bella." He kept an arm around me when I placed my head against his shoulder again, sniffing. "I love you, Bella." He told me quietly. "You're my baby sister. I couldn't be angry with you."

"I thought…" I shook my head. I had to believe him. I wasn't going to consider the alternative. "I'm sorry. I'll tell Alice…I'll help her pick out the food. Edward and I can go."

"I don't mind, darlin." He promised, kissing my head. "It was just a long day, and I was frustrated with Rosalie and…" He shook his head. "I'm sorry." He said again, cupping my cheek in his hand. I only nodded, wiping at my eyes.

"Then…I'll ask Alice if I can go with you instead of Rosalie...if you want..."

"Bella, please don't worry about it." He rubbed his hand on my back, waves of calm wrapping around me as I slumped against him. "We might have picked you out a cake today." He told me softly, grinning a little. "And I think Emmett's still looking at decorations." I stiffened in his lap and he hurriedly pushed the calm at me once again. "Bella, we really don't mind helping Alice with your wedding. I promise." He sounded sad so I only nodded, resolving to speak to Alice later. "Come on. Carlisle made you dinner." He stood, keeping an arm around me as he led me to the door. He took my arm as we stepped out into the hallway. "Bella." He bit his own lip, squeezing my hand. "I really am sorry." I nodded, forcing a smile and then hurried downstairs.

Emmett stepped in, tossing his coat on the couch and grinning at Carlisle. "Hey. That smells terrible." He chuckled when his father rolled his eyes. "Where's…" He paused when he took in Edward's position in the doorway, his arms crossed tightly across his chest. Bella stepped from the bottom step and he saw her walk over to Edward, his arm gently touching her back, and she offered Emmett a hesitant smile. "Hey Bells. What's up?" He could nearly feel the tension in the air but ignored it as he made his way over to her, grabbing her hand and pulling her forward, catching her easily and wrapping his arms around her. "Hey Carlie." He greeted the disapproving puppy who sat in the corner near Edward, eyeing him distrustfully. "I don't think your dog likes me." He felt her arms tighten around him and felt a twinge of concern that he pushed aside. He'd ask Edward later. "Where's Jazz. I'll bet he and Rose had fun."

Bella stiffened in his arms and he released her, looking up at Edward in confusion, but his brother only stared at the floor. 'Well…guess I'll ask later.' He pushed Bella toward the dining table where Carlisle had put her plate, then gestured for Edward to follow him into the other room. He stood in the living room, glancing over to where Carlisle had a hand on Bella's shoulder. "Ed, what's going on? Did something happen? Does it have anything to do with Alice's vision?"

"You know what it was?" Edward demanded, leaning forward. He shook his head.

"Sorry. But whatever it was, it had her freaked out. Is Bella alright?"

Edward sighed. "Apparently Rose gave Jasper a hard time today…he was pretty fed up when he got home and he and Rosalie were fighting. Carlisle told them that they were going to upset Bella…and Jazz kind of snapped…made it sound like he was fed up with helping Bella and that he resented her for it." Emmett closed his eyes, glancing back at Bella who ate, her expression desolate.

"And she heard." He guessed.

"Yes." Edward snapped.

"And, of course, she's convinced that we all hate her or some crap like that."

"Probably. I haven't had the chance to talk to her. Jasper feels terrible, of course. It's hard for him…he was upset and Rosalie was angry and Carlisle was irritated with them…and he could feel all of it. But he didn't mean it."

"No way. Jasper loves Bella. I don't think he could be mad at her if he wanted to." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Jasper came down the stairs, his hesitant eyes on Bella.

"Is she okay?" He asked Edward anxiously.

"I don't know."

"She's still upset." Jasper lamented, fisting one of his hands in his hair. "I didn't mean it." He mumbled, staring beseechingly at Edward.

"I know, Jazz."

"Hey, next time I'll work with Rosalie and you can look through the decoration books. Alright?" Emmett dropped a hand on his brother's shoulder. "I know she can be a bit much sometimes…"

"She's just jealous." Edward growled, obviously irritated with his sister. "You know how she is…she's pretending it's her wedding. So of course everything has to be perfect." There was some bitterness in his voice and Emmett sighed.

"I'll talk to her. Sorry Jasper." He shook his head.

"Not your fault. I should have kept my da*n mouth shut."

The door was thrown open and Alice hurried in, and once again Emmett found himself confused as she stared at Bella for a tense second then attempted to hurry past Edward who grabbed her arm. "Okay, so does anyone want to clue me in about the vision?"

Alice sighed, crossing her arms. "Bella hurt again. I don't know where. Jasper was with her." Edward flinched as he watched it play out in her mind once more. "I just….I don't get it." She looked between the three of them. "I mean, she's safe with us. One of us is always with her." She shook her head. "We'll just make sure we watch her. All the time. Okay?"

Emmett nodded along with his brothers. Esme approached them, and put a hand on Alice's shoulder. "Alice told me about her vision." She told them softly. "I'm going to speak to Carlisle."

"We need to tell Bella." Jasper told them. Emmett had to agree, even with Edward's incredulous look.

"I already told her the basics. She doesn't need to know everything! I don't want to upset her."

"Are you really that stupid?" Jasper snapped. "I thought we weren't keeping things from her anymore."

"Jasper, why upset her when we don't need to?"

"Because she's a part of this family and she deserves to know! It does involve her."

"You know, for vampires, you guys are not very good at keeping your voice down." Alice rolled her eyes, gesturing to where Bella stood in the doorway, Carlisle's arm around her shoulders.

"Alice, what's going on?" She asked. Before Edward could start, Carlisle stepped forward.

"Yes, I would like to know as well." His expression was mildly disapproving.

She sighed, nodding, and began describing her vision as best as she could while Bella stayed under Carlisle's arm with Esme on her other side.

It was nearly impossible to get a second alone with Alice, but I finally managed later that evening, after Carlisle made me go back to eating while they discussed Alice's vision. Jasper was speaking with Emmett while they poured over a chessboard, and Edward and I sat on the couch. Finally I headed upstairs where I figured Alice was talking to Rosalie. I found them in Alice's room with the door open and knocked on the doorframe. Alice looked up and sighed, smiling a little apologetically. "Hey Bella. I know...I'll take care of it."

"You know?"

"Yea." She looked over at Rosalie who looked away a little sheepishly. "We had a chat. And she's going to apologize to Jasper. And…I'm going to apologize to Emmett. I got a little carried away…I'm sorry." I walked into the room when she patted the bed beside her, leaning against her side. "You know, Jasper loves you so much. So does Emmett."

"You didn't hear him, Alice."

"Bella, don't you understand how his gift works? When other people are angry it affects him, especially if he's already upset." She put an arm around me, rubbing my back. "Okay, I'm going to back off. I promise. Esme already talked to me." She rested her head on the top of my head. "I wanted your wedding to be perfect." She told me quietly. "But…I'm sorry. Really."

"Me too." Rosalie told me softly, moving to sit on my other side. "I…well, you'll probably think I'm back to being a b*tch but…" She touched my arm, then stood., letting her words trail off. "I have some groveling to do." She patted the top of my head.

"Thanks Rosalie." I told her. After she left, shutting the door behind her, Alice turned to me, gripping my hand.

"Rosalie is always going to be Rosalie. She loves you, really. But she has a hard time with other people being in the spotlight. She's usually the one having the beautiful wedding and I guess she's jealous. But it's going to be okay." She promised. "We fight sometimes Bella. All families do. Sometimes Jasper and I fight, or Emmett and Rose…Even Carlisle and Esme a few times, although more often it's them scolding one of us. And you haven't even seen Edward and Emmett angry with one of us. But that doesn't mean we don't all love each other. That's what holds our family together. So don't ever doubt that we all love you, and we know that you love us." She kissed my cheek.

Rosalie crossed her arms, standing sheepishly in front of Jasper who lifted an eyebrow, placing his game piece back on the board. Emmett grinned, placing his chin in his hand, and even Edward stopped petting Carlie to listen. "Jasper…" She sighed; glad that she wasn't human, otherwise her face would be on fire. She heard Carlisle and Esme step into the doorway and wanted to storm off and hide in her room. "Sorry." She mumbled, tightening her arms around herself and glaring at the floor. "I was a…" She thought of Esme and Carlisle listening and decided not to provoke them. "jerk. So…sorry. Really."

She stiffened when Jasper chucked, her jaw clenching, but then felt him move, wrapping his arms around her for a second. She sighed, relaxing a little. "It's alright." He ruffled her hair and she jerked away, embarrassed, which of course he could feel. Grinning, he pulled away and went back to his chess game, and she took a second to be grateful that she had very forgiving brothers.


	24. Chapter 24

The dream was an indistinguishable series of scenes that made little sense. Me trying to help Emmett cook. Jasper wrapping his arms around me. Sitting with Carlisle in his study. Edward on top of me, his lips on my neck. Playing with a dog. Homework. A thousand things I did every day…life with my new family. For the first time in a long time, I wasn't having any unpleasant dreams. I felt cool arms around me, a cool hand on my back, rubbing up and down. And something warm was on my stomach…

Something warm was on my stomach. I groaned at the groggy feeling, my brain trying to make sense of both my dream and the unfamiliar warm weight. Usually anything touching me in my sleep was cold. Edward. Carlisle. Once or twice Alice. And of course I fell asleep on my brothers sometimes. So with a jolt of alarm, I jerked awake, sitting up with a gasp and pulling away from the strange weight on my stomach with a soft whimper. "Bella? Are you alright?" Edward's voice came from my other side and I looked around the dark room, my weak eyes trying to find whatever had been on my stomach. And then the little warm thing wriggled back into my arms and I sighed in relief, opening my arms and pulling her against me.

"Hey Carlie." I murmured, and Edward chuckled when I rolled over and placed her in between us. Edward kissed my forehead, his arms going back around me. "Time is it?" I asked.

"About three a.m. Go back to sleep, love." He whispered, stroking my face and then rested his hand on my side. Carlie nuzzled my stomach, curling up between us, and I felt myself drift back to sleep, my head on Edward's shoulder.

"Love you." I mumbled.

"I love you too."

I woke once more about two hours later to Calrie scratching at the door anxiously. I stretched, groaning as I started to sit up, knowing that Edward had let her out during the night, but Edward put a hand on my side. "I'll let her out. Try and get some more sleep." Her urged me, quietly ignoring my protests that I was awake now. Collapsing back on the pillow as he left, I let my eyes drift close once more, feeling the familiar fog of sleep curling around my brain…until someone sat down on the bed behind me and shook me, making me jerk awake.

Rolling over, I found Alice grinning down at me, arms crossed. "Alice!" I gasped. "What are you doing! I'm sleeping!"

"No…you're awake." She told me smugly. "Come on! It's Sunday, and you wanted to help me with wedding ideas!"

I rolled back over, pulling my blankets snugly around my shoulders and curling up in a ball. "Not particularly." I mumbled. "Come back in two hours."

"No! We only have today and then I have to go back to school tomorrow! And you'll be here so I won't see you all day. And you humans sleep all night!"

"Ugh go away." I groaned when she shook me again, gently tugging at my blankets. "Please, Alice? I'm sleeping."

"Leave her alone." Jasper chuckled, stepping up behind Alice and tugging her off the bed. "You haven't even finished the scrap book yet, and we still have decorations and food to pick out."

Alice sighed loudly, and I felt her eyes on me, but I curled tighter under the blanket. "Hey Alice!? Am I on decorations again or am I helping Rose and Esme…why are you in Bella's room?" Emmett's voice appeared behind me and I groaned, pulling the pillow over my head.

"Emmett! Why are you…hey Alice. Do you have the list for the caterers? Or are you having Bella go this time?"

"Not until I have the final list. The cake?"

"We're meeting them next week. I thought you would want to. Dress?"

"We…" My frustration began to mount and Jasper laughed.

"Why don't we take this downstairs?" He suggested.

"Please." I snapped, more than ready to fall back to sleep. I felt the weight of Jasper's amusement like the blankets on top of me as the others laughed softly.

"Fine. I'll be back in two hours." Alice promised ominously.

"What are you guys doing in here?" Edward demanded.

"Hey Carlie." Emmett's voice was hopeful, and then I heard a low growl and felt Jasper's amusement grow. "Oh come on." He grumbled as I felt Carlie climb onto the bed behind me. Rolling over I lifted the blankets when she pawed at them letting her climb under them, sealing her in and curling up with her.

"Out." Edward commanded, sitting on the bed beside me, and after lying down, pulled me into his arms. The door shut a second later and I snuggled against him, feeling Carlie's chin come to rest on my side. "Sleep." He told me softly. "You're still tired." I hummed in response, dropping off before I could form an actual answer.

I woke for the third time when daylight streamed in through the window. Sighing, I rolled over, hiding my head against Edward's shoulder. Carlie wriggled out from between us, jumping off the bed. He kissed my cheek with cold lips and held me closer, his hands gentle around my back. "Good morning." I mumbled, opening my eyes and smiling up at him.

"Good morning. Did you sleep well?"

"Mostly." I stretched, arching my back and yawning. "Where's Alice?"

"She tried to come back up a few hours ago but Jasper managed to keep her away."

"Thanks for taking Carlie out." I rested my head on his chest for a moment.

"You're welcome." He said kindly. "She wanted you, though. And she still growls at Emmett every time she sees him." I smiled, yawning once more. "It's ten o'clock…Alice is going to come back soon." I nodded.

"What does she want?" I asked in resignation.

"I think she's going to have you measured for a dress…and Carlisle wants to examine you…if that's okay."

"What? Why?" I asked nervously.

His arm immediately went back around me as he sat up, pulling me with him as he leaned back against the headboard. "Don't worry." He told me quietly. "He just wants to check on you. What else did you want to do today? She's just going to measure you really quick, and then it won't take Carlisle long to give you a check up."

"I think Charlie's fishing." I rubbed my eyes, wondering why I still felt so tired. "What's everyone else doing?"

"Alice is still planning with Rosalie. I think I may help Emmett with decorations. Carlisle's off…he and Esme might go out tonight but she's helping Alice and Rose today. Would you like to stay here?" I nodded, still trying to curl up against him. "Are you still tired?" He sounded concerned so I sighed, forcing myself to sit up on my own and face him.

"I'm fine…I woke up a few times last night. I'm going to get dressed." He nodded, kissing me quickly and then stood, leaving the room. I stared at the shut door for a minute, then stood, reaching up for the ceiling and arching my back, yawning widely. I'd slept fitfully for most of the night, even if my dreams had been mostly pleasant. But I did have something on my mind.

I knew Carlisle would want to keep me home for a while…at least another week. But after that…would I have to finish high school here? Alone? Well, not alone. Edward was with me. But we still had two months of school after this, and I still felt like a coward, hiding in this beautiful house every day. Other people went to school. Even the other guy that had been shot was back in school now. I was the only coward…and only because of people talking about me. In hindsight, it seemed so stupid. I sighed, closing my eyes as I slipped into a new pair of jeans and a t-shirt. As I ran a brush though my hair, I realized that I needed to talk to Carlisle. I couldn't hide out for the rest of my human life.

Carlisle placed his hand on my back, leading me into his study. I knew Jasper was standing outside the door, monitoring my emotions carefully. I sat on the couch, clasping my hands in my lap, and Carlisle sat beside me. "Bella, you don't need to be worried." He told me softly. "I just wanted to check on you. You seem to be doing better. I'm just going to check your pulse first. Alright?" He waited for me to nod before reaching out and took my hand, flipping my wrist over and gently pressing two fingers into the skin there. 'Will he be angry if I ask? Will he be frustrated with me? He hasn't gotten angry with me yet…but he has to at some point, right? But if I never ask…does that really make me a coward? Does he want me to ask? Is he waiting for me to bring it up? But what if he isn't? He didn't say how long I'd have to be home schooled.'

While I nervously contemplated bringing it up, Carlisle placed a stethoscope against my back, then frowned, placing it back on the table and moving to crouch in front of me, placing a hesitant hand against my cheek. "Sweetheart, your heart is racing. Are you okay?" I nodded, trying to calm down on my own, and he sat beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "Are you having trouble breathing?" He was listening carefully as I breathed and I bit my lip, shaking my head.

"I'm fine." I insisted, wincing at his lifted eyebrow. "Really. I'm okay."

"Bella." His soft voice was a warning and I remembered his request…his insistence that I didn't have to talk to him but that I wasn't to lie to him.

"I…it's nothing important." I insisted, but he shook his head.

"If it was unimportant you wouldn't be upset. Are you feeling ill or is it something else?" He asked, rubbing my back. "Sweetheart you can tell me anything."

"I…I just wanted to know if…if you were going to let me go back to school. I mean…not now but…" His hand stilled on my back and he peered into my eyes, his own torn.

"Sweetheart…."

"I understand…if I can't…I mean I know I…I'm not…" I shook my head, biting my lip, which he put a quick end to, his thumb on my chin reminding me that he didn't like it when I did that. "I'm sorry."

"Bella you do not have to be sorry. You never have to be sorry for asking me a question, or for wanting something. You are always welcome to speak your mind here. But I'm not sure about sending you back to school, sweetheart. I'm worried about your health. Your health is improving…you're able to eat and getting back to a healthy weight, you're not having any more panic attacks or anxiety…that you've told us about…" I nodded at his implied question and he went on. "If I send you back and you start to decline again…" His eyes were so pained that I immediately realized what he was saying…how much it would hurt him to see that again. He distracted me quickly as if seeing were this train of thought was leading. "I would like for you to take this week off. Focus on your schoolwork. And then we can talk about this. Is that okay?" I nodded and he kissed my temple, stroking my hair gently.

"And don't say you're sorry." He instructed firmly before standing. "You have nothing to be sorry for." He lifted the stethoscope to my back once more and I breathed, somewhat relieved, but still wondering if going back to school would be the right thing to do.

Jasper watched his sister closely as she stood in the living room, crossing her arms and waiting for his wife to finish making notes on a clipboard where she apparently had a very lifelike sketch of Bella that both Emmett and himself were forbidden to look at. He rolled his eyes a little at his wife's passion for details and leaned back on the sofa, pretending to be engrossed in a book they were supposed to read for English. Of course he'd read Catcher in the Rye at least five times and remembered every word. He was more focused on Bella who was calmly allowing Alice to wrap a measuring tape around her waist, and then moving up.

Looking back down at his book, he tried to figure out her emotions. It made sense that she would think about going back to school. It didn't make sense that she would agonize over it like this, her emotions going back and forth between fear and worry and even dread. Was it their fault? Were…he looked up in surprise when her dog leapt onto his lap, pawing at his book and whining, a rope toy in her mouth. Alice had shooed her away several times when she'd tried to get Bella's attention, and apparently Carlie had decided that he would do as a substitute. Laughing softly, he placed the book on the seat beside him, giving in easily and grabbing the end of the toy.

She dug her teeth in, growling and wriggling in delight while he gently tugged and tried to focus on Bella once more. He knew Carlisle didn't want him influencing her emotions if it wasn't an emergency, and honestly he didn't want to take her emotions away either, but he worried when she was feeling upset. Well, he wasn't worried yet. But he hated it. He wanted to make her feel better. But he was distracted when her emotions changed to amusement and contentment. He glanced up, grinning when he saw her watching him play with her dog. "Bella, stay still!" Alice snapped, trying to measure her shoulders. She giggled at the puppy's antics and then laughed aloud when she was forcibly turned around. "Jasper, will you stop distracting her! I have to measure her for her dress!"

"It's this dog." He laughed, pulling Carlie into his arms and continuing to let her tug on the toy, giving in a little and making the puppy adjust her grip, pulling harder. "She's cute." Alice rolled her eyes, but he felt her amusement when he let the toy go abruptly, easily catching the puppy when she began to tumble out of his lap with a surprised bark. Carlie looked up at him in surprise then curled up in his arms and chewed on the toy for a moment but fell asleep asleep almost instantly. "And she sleeps like Bella." Bella turned just enough to stick her tongue out at him and Alice sighed, pulling her back around.

Edward was out with Emmett and had agreed to help him look through decorations. Right after her check up with Carlisle, Bella had approached his wife and begged her to let her help him with the food instead of Rosalie, claiming she would love to help and that it would be fun. She wasn't fooling anyone, but Alice couldn't turn her down and was going to send Jasper and Bell to a few places to pick out some appetizers, and he planned on taking her to lunch as well. Carlisle was glad that she was getting closer to a healthy weight, but he also knew that she tended to forget to eat when left alone, and Alice and Rosalie were going to be busy with Esme doing something with a dress, while Carlisle was spending the day doing his own research. Of course he would have spent time with Bella as well, but he'd already fallen behind and Jasper knew that he would appreciate a day to catch up.

Alice finally finished measuring every inch of Bella and headed upstairs with Rose where they were going to meet Esme, and Bella walked over to where Jasper sat, dropping onto the sofa beside him and reaching over to pet Carlie. "When are we leaving?" She wondered, smiling a little when Carlie began kicking in her sleep.

"Whenever you're ready." He shrugged, carefully moving Carlie to the sofa where she continued to sleep. "We have most of the day. Alice gave me a list." He pulled a notebook out of his pocket and Bella's eyes widened when she realized that the notebook was the list.

"Um…how many places are there?"

"Only about ten. But she apparently wants us to make extensive notes…and take pictures." Bella laughed aloud, standing and shaking her head as she moved into the kitchen, grabbing a glass. Jasper moved with her, watching as she filled it with water and took a long drink and grinned when Carlie trotted into the kitchen with them, pawing at Bella's leg.

"Spoiled brat." Bella teased affectionately, lifting her into her arms and kissing her head, turning her head to avoid getting licked in the face.

"She is." He said with a grin, taking in her emotions happily. "You ready?" She nodded, placing the glass in the sink and placing Carlie on the floor, sitting on the bench by the door to pull her shoes on and pushing Carlie away when she tried to jump into her lap once more. "Come here." He chided the puppy, pulling her into his arms and letting Bella finish tying her shoes, then put the dog on the floor once more, leading Bella out the door and shutting it behind them before she could escape. "No." He told Bella before she could ask, taking her arm and pulling her along to the garage entrance. "She wouldn't be allowed into the restaurants. She's fine with Carlisle." He insisted, laughing as he stepped into one of their outbuildings.

"We're…taking the motorcycle?" She asked, eyes wide as she looked at him hesitantly. Grinning he grabbed a helmet and carefully pulled it over her head, grabbing a matching one he didn't need but wore so as not to attract attention, and slipped a riding jacket over her shoulders.

"Yep." He walked over, placing the key in the ignition and climbing on, then waited for her to climb on behind him. "Hold on." He instructed her, waiting for her to slip her arms around his waist before spinning around and pulling out of the garage, trying to drive a little slower than normal so as not to scare her, but her emotions were more elated than frightened. She laughed aloud when they pulled onto the road, clinging to him, and he could almost smell her adrenaline and excitement.

I clung to my brother, clasping my hands together as I tried desperately not to let go…although I knew that Jasper wouldn't let me get hurt. The scenery rushed by as we made our way into town, then onto the highway, and toward Port Angeles. It was a fairly short drive, as there were no police officers around, very little traffic, and Jasper seemed content to go as fast as this bike would allow. I wondered how easily they all took to driving and their shared love of going fast. 'Can they run this fast?' I wondered, not having the ability to judge speed, especially since the only time I'd really seen them run was when I'd ridden on Edward's back. 'How fast can they run?' I looked around through the visor on my helmet, my hands tightening as we took the exit to Port Angeles and navigated through the town.

It was fairly cloudy, and for a second I worried that the sun would appear and ruin our day, but Jasper assured me that Alice had given us the all clear. He parked outside of a small restaurant. Climbing off of the motorcycle, I grabbed Jasper's arm to keep my balance, then stepped away, allowing him to climb off as well. We took off our helmets and Jasper hung them on the handles, pocketing the keys and holding out his elbow gallantly. "Ready?" I smiled, linking my arm in his, and followed him into the building.

We spent the entire day going from one restaurant to the next, me sampling food and Jasper taking pictures, writing extensive notes based on my reactions, and refusing samples that were sometimes all but forced upon him by well meaning old women. The first people had assumed that we were the couple and left us alone for most of the time. But at the next place, they weren't quite so subtle.

"Oh you must be Bella." The older woman shook my hand and beamed at me. Smiling in surprise, I squeezed her hand gently.

"Yea…hi."  
"Oh congratulations dear. And this must be Mr. Jasper. You make such a lovely couple." I stared at her in confusion for a moment, and then Jasper chuckled a little nervously.

"Um…I'm Alice's husband." He clarified softly, and the woman looked at me strangely.

"Oh I'm sorry dear…I thought this was for your wedding…but if you're already married…"

It took a little sorting out, but Jasper finally managed to explain to the lady about our strange family situation (keeping out the bits where they occasionally drank the blood of animals, leaving plenty of normal food for me) and she left me to sample the food, still a little confused.

After the fourth place, we gave up correcting the caterers and after the seventh, I was so sick of nibbling at various mini foods that I groaned when we parked outside. "Jasper do have to finish all of these places today?" He grinned, stepping off the bike and giving me a hand, leading me into the restaurant and nodded at the hostess.

"Cullen." He spoke softly in the almost empty room, and we were led not to the back but to a table in the corner.

"Jasper…"

"Oh come on. Surely you want some real food by now." I wrapped my arms around him before sitting in the chair he'd pulled out for me.

Alice sat upstairs with Rosalie and Esme, flipping through a book to find a few ideas for a dress for her sister. They'd been at it all day while Jasper and Bella were out looking at food and Emmett and Edward were looking at decorations…or wrestling in the woods. Their futures could go either way. She laughed a little as she watched them fight in her mind…then the vision shifted…

Bella lay on the ground once more, Jasper hovering anxiously over her, a hand cupping her cheek. It was dim…hazy. She couldn't tell where they were, no matter how hard she concentrated, but the same dead girl lay in the corner…although she couldn't make out her face. She was more interested in Bella who lay sobbing on the floor, her hands feebly protecting her side. Jasper murmured to her, his hands gentle on her face. He put a hand behind her back, trying to help her sit up, but she screamed, making Alice flinch. "No…no Bella!" She put a hand over her mouth as she was forced to watch the vision play out…her husband desperately trying to help her up and her sister slumped against him, blood trailing from a cut on her head.

"Alice? Alice what is it sweetheart?" Esme was kneeling in front of her, her mother's face slowly coming into focus.

"Bella…where's Bella? Where's Jasper?" She looked around anxiously and found Carlisle in the doorway.

"They're still out…calm down Alice. I'll call him okay?" He cupped her cheek, pulling her into his arms for a moment, then pulling out his cellphone. "Jasper? Where are you?" He asked quietly as she sat tucked against his side, drawing comfort from her father. Beside her Esme sat, anxiously waiting for her son's answer, and Rosalie nervously flipped through the book, her fingers absently playing with the pages.

She could hear Jasper's voice…it sounded like they were in a restaurant. "Bella's having lunch…what's wrong?"

"Is she with you? Can you see her right now?" Her father demanded.

"Um she just…here she is. She just got back from the bathroom…she's fine. Why?" There was a brief silence. "Did Alice see something?" Alice reached out for the phone and she pushed it against her ear as Carlisle held her.

"The same vision…I can't tell where you are or what happened." He sighed on the other line. "Just…keep her close, okay?"

"Of course." He promised, hanging up, and Carlisle pulled her back into his arms.

"It's going to be fine, sweetheart." He rubbed her back. "Jasper will keep her safe…they'll be home in a couple of hours." He promised.

We had three more restaurants before we finally were finished, and then we headed home, notebook in Jasper's pocket and my arms tight around his waist as we drove off. It seemed like he was driving a little slower than before, but I held on tight regardless. Alice was trying to narrow down appetizers apparently, and hopefully some input from someone who actually ate human food would help. When we arrived home, it was to Carlisle sitting in the living room with Carlie asleep on his lap, his nose in a thick book. He looked up when we arrived and smiled, placing the sleeping dog on the couch and approached us, pulling me into his arms.

"Did you guys have fun?" He asked, looking at Jasper over my head and squeezing me gently.

"Mhm." I pulled back, trying to decipher his expression. "Is everything okay?"

He started to reassure me then sighed, kissing the top of my head. "Alice had another vision…or rather, the same vision. But don't worry." He led me over to the sofa, laughing when Carlie leapt into my lap. "She missed you." He informed me when the puppy licked my chin and tried to climb into my arms. Jasper mussed my hair and headed upstairs, leaving me in the living room with Carlisle.

"Alice is upset?" I asked softly, knowing it was pointless and that she could hear me. He put an arm around my shoulders, squeezing me gently.

"Sweetheart, it isn't your fault." He reassured me. "She's worried about the vision, but they're subjective." He reminded me. "She doesn't know what's causing them, but we're going to do everything we can to keep you safe." He promised, holding me tightly. Surprisingly I wasn't worried. I knew he was telling the truth.


	25. Chapter 25

As Carlisle had insisted, I spent the rest of the week at home. Edward stayed with me every day, helping me with homework, cooking for me or watching me cook, watching movies, going to the meadow…all in all it was pretty relaxing. In the afternoons, the others would come home and do their own thing…while still spending time together. Emmett played video games with Jasper or me, and Alice worked on the scrapbook I wasn't allowed to see, and Rosalie helped or tinkered with her car, sometimes dragging me along and having me help. I didn't spend much time alone with Rosalie, but it was always nice when we got the chance to do something together. She had the ability to get me to talk freely without seeming to judge or even become concerned…she just listened, calming me with her presence and self-assurance. Carlisle, when he was able to stay home, and Esme took turns cooking, which was, apparently something they enjoyed…and excelled at. I started to feel stronger, didn't feel the need to sleep as much during the day, and was able to keep my meals down without getting sick.

Little Carlie made herself at home, endearing herself to all of my new family except for Emmett who she merely tolerated, not yet able to forgive him for that first meeting. On Wednesday, Edward and I took her over to see Charlie who was immediately smitten with the little dog, pulling her into his lap and doting on her like he would a grandchild. The thought made me freeze before I quickly tried to dismiss it, hoping Edward hadn't seen me pause. I knew that Charlie would love grandchildren. 'It's impossible…' I thought a little sadly. I'd never thought of having children, but I could see the draw…could see myself having and loving a child of Edward's. 'What a loving family that baby would have…the best grandparents in the world, the most loving aunts, the most indulgent uncles…the most wonderful father…' I swallowed a little, smiling as Charlie pushed the little dog away gently when she went for his face. 'Vampires can't have children. Look at Rosalie.' For a second, I considered adoption. 'But Charlie would never see any of my grandchildren…Charlie is going to think I've gone off to college…and then what? Were they going to tell my father that I died in a terrible accident? How long do I have with him?'

I suppose Edward made an excuse for us to go, seeing my distress, and as soon as we were in the car and around the corner, the car was parked on the side of the road and his arms were around me. "What's wrong, Bella?" He asked softly, rubbing my back and letting Carlie crawl into the front seat. I shook my head. This was what I wanted…I couldn't let him know that this would bother me. "Love, what's wrong?" I wondered what my face must look like for him to be so worried and I fought to look normal.

"Nothing. Edward I'm fine." I tried to tell him, pushing away to look into his eyes. "What's the matter?"

"You're upset." He scolded me gently. "What happened?' I shook my head. I wouldn't give in on this…Edward was already reluctant enough to change me. We could talk about this after I was a permanent member of his family…I wished I could talk to Esme but I knew she couldn't shield her mind from Edward. Apparently seeing that I wasn't going to tell him, Edward sighed and kept an arm around me, driving us home. I was sure he spoke to Alice at some point, but she didn't give me up if she knew what was wrong, even though I'd resolved to speak to her. I couldn't imagine going to Rosalie over this…that would be too much for my oldest sister. But I would have to wait for Edward to go on a hunting trip.

Other than this new issue weighing on my mind, the week went by quickly and, for the most part, happily. I finished all of my homework on time, giving it to Esme each day to be graded. Carlisle took me into his study nearly every day and allowed me to help with his research, explaining to me the parts I didn't understand, and, with unending patience, teaching me the very basics when I couldn't quite grasp the concepts he was dealing with. Then, on Friday, as I sat in his office, flipping through one of his smaller biology texts to find some definitions he'd pointed me toward, he brought up the other subject weighing on my mind. "Do you still wish to go back to school on Monday?" He asked softly from his own desk. I hesitated, knowing that the rest of them didn't want me going back to school…that they were worried about my health if I were to return.

'But I can't hide forever. I'll be fine.' I nodded, looking up from the book to meet his eyes. He nodded slowly, his eyes thoughtful.

"You have improved greatly this week. You're nausea seems to be gone, and you've been eating better. So…why don't we try it a day at a time." The book was forgotten and I stared at him in surprise. I hadn't honestly expected him to let me go back. "You have my blessing to return to school on Monday. But if you start to feel ill, if you begin feeling anxious again, or if Jasper suspects that it would be in your best interests to stay home…" He held up a hand when I started to argue. "I will speak with Jasper about this. You know he wouldn't make that judgment lightly, knowing as he does what this means to you." I nodded a little reluctantly. "If any of these things occur, or if I believe it is negatively affecting your health, mental or physical, then you can continue studying at home and we'll revisit the issue after another week."

"There are only three months of school left." I reminded him quietly. He appeared at my side, kneeling beside me and putting an arm around me.

"I know, sweetheart. But you also have to remember that Lauren will be back in school. She was only suspended for a week, and although she's completed the counseling program, I doubt her attitude will be much changed. Besides, you will have plenty of chances to graduate from High School, should you choose to do so." His words were light, but it only brought back to mind the reason I was actually anxious to graduate in the ceremony, and he was immediately concerned. "What is it, Bella?" He asked. I shook my head, aware that Edward was listening. "You can tell me, sweetheart."

"I don't want to." I hoped he wouldn't catch my lie, but the hurt that flashed across his face was worse.

"Bella…"

"No. You said I didn't have to!" I snapped, crossing my arms and pulling away. He frowned, sitting back on his heels, and seemed about to reprimand me when Alice burst in through the door.

"Stop." She commanded. "Just…wait, Carlisle. Please." He seemed a little confused, but nodded. "It's all related, isn't it Bella? Wednesday and today?" I looked at her warily. "Edward is out with Jasper. They're going to the store or something…I made him leave. I know you don't want him to know." I sighed and nodded. "Emmett and Rosalie left too." Her voice was a little apologetic and it brought tears to my eyes. I didn't want to hurt my sister…I knew how much this topic would bother her. Alice knelt beside me on my other side, putting an arm around me. "Don't cry, Bella. It's okay." She assured me. "Rose isn't mad…she just…well it was better she wasn't here. Okay? You don't have to be upset." She rubbed my back a little and I felt a rush of embarrassment for overreacting.

"Sorry." I mumbled, hoping Carlisle wasn't angry.

He shook his head, taking my hand. "It's alright Bella. I understand that you're upset…I just don't understand why." Alice looked at me expectantly for a moment, and I finally gathered the courage to speak, looking only at the table.

"Wednesday we went to see Charlie…" I told him the whole story then, how seeing him with Carlie, as ridiculous as it sounded, had made me realize that my father would never have grandchildren…that he wouldn't even have me for much longer. As I explained though, neither Carlisle nor Alice seemed to think I was being ridiculous. "And now…he won't even see me graduate. I can't even give him that…" I bit my lip, closing my eyes as Carlisle put his arms around me.

"And you were worried that, should Edward find out what you were thinking, he would be reluctant to change you." He finished for me softly, and I nodded, glad that he'd spoken my fear aloud, as I didn't think I could. "Bella, as for having children or adopting, that is something you will have to speak to Edward about. Maybe not right now…I'll do my best to keep this from him until you wish to approach him. I'm sure that, were you to tell him that you wanted children, that he would be more than willing to adopt, and the rest of us would certainly support you both in that decision." He leaned back, cupping my face in his hands. "Now, the other matter is a bit more complicated. I know you recently reconciled with your father…and I know it is hard for you to leave him. I also know that despite those feelings, you still wish to join our family of undead monsters." I had to laugh at his teasing, but I shook my head.

"You're not monsters." I argued. He smiled a little, kissing my head.

"Regardless, because of the treaty, we will have to go away…very far away before we change you…too far for them to track us. Once we've broken the treaty, we can never come back, or lives will be lost. Their lives, most likely…there will be eight of us, all, at that point, very well trained. But I don't wish to kill any of the Quileute children if at all possible, and we did agree to the treaty. So we will stay away. However, Emmett, Jasper, Esme and I have spoken briefly about going to Sam and asking for an exception…Jacob Black did break the treaty as well by telling you about us, however indirectly, and we did not act against the pack for that." He smiled a little at the hope in my eyes. "Were he to grant it, we would be allowed to stay, and…well, it is a possibility that we could let your father see you without telling him anything…keep all the details a secret. That way, at least, we could leave him a way to communicate with you, and you could visit him whenever you wished." He put a hand on my shoulder. "I'm not telling you this to get your hopes up, sweetheart. I do not have much faith in Sam's willingness to compromise. But I want you to know that if seeing your father is this important to you, then we'll find a way for it to happen. Even if we have to kidnap him and ship him to the jungles of Brazil to live with us." He wrapped his arms around me then, accepting me when I threw myself into them.

"Thank you." I whispered, my head resting under his chin. "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to snap at you…"

"I understand, Bella. You need to work on using your words, sweetheart." He chided me gently. "If you needed to speak to me without Edward knowing of our discussion, you need only tell me. Now, you've still got three pages of definitions to go through." He grinned, squeezing my hand, then went to his desk, stopping to muss Alice's hair on his way. "I still don't know what we'd do without Alice."

"I am pretty useful." Alice reached down, putting an arm around my shoulders and kissing my cheek.

I jerked awake on Sunday morning, my dream fading as I felt my heartbeat start to calm, the nightmare almost instantly forgotten. Carlie crawled up into my arms, licking my face and making me laugh softly, pushing her away. Edward, whose arms had tightened around me, relaxed and laughed as well. "Good morning." He spoke quietly, kissing my hair. He was curled around me, his nose pressed against the back of my hair, and I wriggled in his arms, rolling over and kissing his cheek.

"Morning." He tightened his arms around me once more, stroking my back.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Mhm. What did you do all night?"

"This mostly." He chuckled. "I took Carlie our once or twice…she kept trying to wake you, but you didn't seem to notice. And she played with Jasper for a while." I nodded, stretching and accidentally pushing Carlie off the bed.

Laughing apologetically, I rolled over and reached down, stroking her head. "Sorry, girl." I threw my legs over the bed, a little surprised when Edward appeared in front of me, kneeling beside our dog and gathering her into his arms, laughing indulgently when she licked his chin.

"Dog's just like you, Bella. Spoiled brat." With Jasper's teasing came a thick blanket of loving fondness, so it was impossible to take offense. Sticking my tongue out at my brother who stood in the doorway, I smiled when he chuckled softly. "About time you got up."

"It's only eight!" I cried, glancing at the clock by my side of the bed. Jasper laughed, entering the room and appearing at my side, making Carlie jump and bark in excitement, already used to their quick movements. He took the dog from Edward, placing her in his lap and ruffling her fur.

"Yea. I know. We've all been up for hours." He grinned when I rolled my eyes. "Besides, it's back to waking up early tomorrow." His voice had grown a little more solemn and I started to worry, but he shook his head. "We'll all keep an eye on you." He promised simply. I nodded my thanks, leaning against him when he lifted an arm to drape around me. "So, I think Alice finally finished that scrapbook." I grinned, glancing over at Edward who chuckled, lifting me in his arms so quickly that I squeaked in surprise, then flashing us down to the living room, Jasper following with Carlie who gave Emmett a customary glare from her place in Jasper's arms.

"Oh, but it's fine if he does it!" He snapped, and I giggled into Edward's neck.

"Emmett, stop arguing with the dog." Rosalie scolded in a bored voice as she flipped through the channels on the TV too quickly for me to catch any of them. Edward sat me down as Alice appeared in the doorway to the kitchen, all of us grinning as Emmett rolled his eyes and glared at the dog that refused to warm to him.

"Bella! You're finally up. Come on, we have to look at your wedding scrapbook. Oh, first, the decorations Emmett picked out…" I glanced over at Emmett who stopped returning Carlie's glare to look up at me sheepishly.

"Yea…I tried." He shrugged. "Hope you like them." Stepping forward, I threw my arms around Emmett, laughing a little.

"Thank you, Emmett." I knew he had no interest in wedding decorations and that he could have been doing a lot better things with his time, but it meant a lot to me that he'd done it for me. I tried to pack all of that into my thanks and the hug I have him, and I suppose it got through because he hugged me back, his giant arms shielding me from the outside world.

"Hey, any time." He kissed my head, then leaned in against my ear. "I'm just kidding please don't make me work with Alice again she's scary." He whispered quickly, glancing at Alice with overacted nervousness, and I laughed aloud, looking him up and down and comparing him to tiny Alice who had her hands on her hips, not sure how my giant brother could find anyone scary.

"Oh shut up." Alice rolled her eyes, grabbing my arm. "Come on, Bella. Edward, you too. You guys get final approval of everything anyway." Edward nodded, dumping some food in a bowl for the dog, then followed us into the kitchen where Alice had a plate of food for me.

While Edward and I flipped through the scrapbook and I ate breakfast, Alice and Jasper left to hunt together. Because I was going back to school tomorrow, so was Edward, and he wanted to go ahead and hunt nearby. Emmett, Rosalie, Carlisle, and Esme were going to join him, and I would stay with Alice and Jasper after they returned. It was relatively painless, much to my surprise, to go through this almost frighteningly well organized and planned out wedding scrapbook, as the only thing I really had to do was tell him which decorations and colors I preferred. The invitations and announcements were a little more difficult, as I had no idea what kind of paper and font and colors I wanted…nor did I really care. Edward came to my rescue there, suggesting one or two and then going with my decisions.

The appetizers had been narrowed down, thanks to Jasper's faithfully detailed notes and photography (I'm pretty sure he'd also taken a few photos of random people in the restaurants and I'd taken a couple of pictures of the pigeons outside just to mess with Alice, but if she was upset she never dignified us with a scolding) and he and Rosalie, with Esme's help, had looked at cakes and given me a few options. I had no idea what kind of cake I wanted, nor did it really matter, so we went with a classic; a white cake with pretty decorations that were pretty much pointless but looked nice.

The wedding would be held at the Cullen home, probably outside, although Alice would be watching the weather. My family would be setting things up, since setting up chairs and tables would be nothing to them, and Alice and Rosalie were going to send out invitations. The guest list was the final thing we had to settle on, and Edward and I went through the relatively short list. Of course my father was invited, along with a couple of people from school, namely Angela and Ben, who I hadn't seen in a while now. I mentioned that I missed Angela and Edward suggested calling her later if I wanted to tell her about the wedding before sending out her invitation. Of course I would see her at school, but apparently protocol dictated that wedding invitations must be mailed. Rolling my eyes when he told me that, after I'd suggested just taking it to Charlie's house, I'd nodded in mock thoughtfulness. "Alright, then we'd better mail one to Esme and Carlisle while we're at it. And of course Emmett and Jasper…or should we just mail a separate invitation to everyone at the house? Give the mail man something to do." He'd laughed, pulling me into his lap.

"No, I believe we can just hand them out...slip them under their doors if we want to be a little more formal about it." He kissed me on the nose then, which led to a little more distraction, and it was a few minutes before we got back to the invitations.

"The Denali coven?" I asked, looking at him in surprise. He looked at me cautiously.

"Yes…is that alright?" I'd heard a little about these vampires, though not much. They were vegetarians. The Cullens had once lived with them. Other than that, I knew nearly nothing.

"I suppose…"

"They're like family to us." He explained. "We wanted them to meet you…"

I could understand that…I would probably live near these people at some point in my future, and it would be nice to be introduced, despite my nervousness at actually meeting them. Plus, they probably all missed the people they considered family. "Of course…I was just surprised. I'd love to meet them." He nodded, and then frowned at something on the list. Sighing, he drew my attention as he took my hand.

"Bella….I really would feel more comfortable if we didn't invite Jacob Black." He seemed as if he was making some sort of terrible confession, and my eyes widened in surprise as I glanced down at the list. What had Alice been thinking? Maybe she just wanted to watch Emmett and Jasper have another go at him…

"I have no idea why she put him on the guest list. He's one of the last people I want at our wedding." After the way he'd treated me at the beach that day, I certainly didn't count him as a friend, even if I did occasionally miss the guy he'd been when I'd first moved to Forks. I hadn't spoken to Jacob in months, and had no plans to. I took a pen, crossing out his name, which had a question mark beside it. "But I did want to invite Seth if that's okay…" He nodded, obviously relieved. We'd both been fond of the youngest werewolf.

"Of course. I think she has Seth on the list…and Leah of course…" He grimaced a little. "I guess we can't invite one without the other." I laughed a little, unable to help feeling a little sorry for prickly Leah.

After we finished the guest list, including a few people from town that Carlisle or Esme knew, we were pretty much done. "Now Alice just has to make all of this happen."

Jasper sat in an overstuffed chair in the library, skimming a text from Carlisle's collection. Alice sat in a chair at his side, but judging from her emotions she was certainly not paying attention to the fashion magazine in her hands. Grinning a little when she placed the magazine back on the table, he continued skimming the book, pretending not to notice when she stood, approaching his chair. Bella was somewhere in the house amusing herself, obviously giving them some private time, which he truly began to appreciate when she climbed onto his lap, pushing the book out of the way. "Hey." She murmured in his ear, bringing a hand up to touch his scarred face.

"Hello." He chuckled, his amusement cutting off when she wrapped her legs around him, bringing her mouth to his. Taking a second to listen and make sure Bella wouldn't walk in on them any time soon, he gave in easily, dropping the book on the table and putting his hands on her hips, pulling her closer.

"We have two hours before anyone gets back." She whispered in his ear…or…well he supposed it was still whispering when her tongue was…his attention was quickly diverted from the question when her hands began to undo the buttons on his shirt, her lips against his jaw. Using his gift, he surrounded her with love and desire as he reached down, his hand slipping under her blouse, inching up her stomach, when suddenly she stiffened, her eyes widening as she gasped. Pulling his hand back, he caught her hands in one of his and lifted a hesitant hand to her face before realizing that she was having a vision. Sighing softly, he put a hand around her back to make sure she didn't fall.

"Bella." Jasper jumped when his wife gasped out the girl's name. "Bella? No….no!" He started in surprise at the pained, panicked sound, catching her as she put her head in her hands, her expression vacant as she knelt in his lap.

"Alice? What is it?"

"No…" She seemed to jolt back into awareness and turned to Jasper. She cried out, her hand covering her mouth, her eyes full of tears she couldn't shed. "Jasper, where is she!" She gripped his hand, her voice pleading. "Jasper!" He jerked out of his daze; standing and gently placing her back on the chair, and then ran out the door, following his senses. Her smell was throughout the house but it was stronger in places she frequented, as opposed to his bedroom and Emmett's where she almost never went, but it wasn't fresh anywhere nearby. 'She's not in the house…where is she?! Why did Alice and I think this was a good idea? We should have kept her in our sight at all times! The da*n girl's always getting in trouble!'

He took a deep breath, shaking his head. 'Stop. Calm down. I can't help her if I can't stop panicking. She's around here somewhere…think.' She wasn't in the house, so he ran out the front door, looking around anxiously. "Bella!" He shouted, listening for her heartbeat, for her breathing. Anything. "Bella!" He raised his voice, letting the frantic edge creep in. "Where are you?!" He caught it then…her heartbeat and her unique scent, and raced toward them, his breath catching when he found her slumped under a tree in the sun by Esme's garden, a book on the ground where it had obviously fallen from her loose fingers. "Bella!" 'What could have happened…there's no blood…' He knelt beside her, touching her face anxiously, shaking her shoulder, then jumping when she jolted awake, her eyes wide at his sudden proximity as she shrank back, his skin covered in rainbows from his own as the sun shone down on them.

Blinking quickly and looking around, she tried to catch her breath. "Jasper? What's wrong?" She asked in a worried voice.

"Are you alright?" He demanded, keeping a hand on her shoulder. "Are you hurt?" He looked around as well, senses and gift on high alert, although all he could feel were confusion and worry from Bella.

"I…I fell asleep. Sorry. I didn't mean to worry you…" She was starting to look a little frightened so he tried to calm himself, pushing Alice's desperate pleas…her haunted look and her frantic emotions, out of his mind.

"No…Alice had a vision...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." He released her shoulder when he realized he'd been squeezing it too tightly and caught her wince. "I'm sorry. Are you okay?" He touched her arm gently then pulled away when she nodded. "Here." He started to stand, offering her a hand, then pulled her to her feet after she retrieved her book. "Let's go talk to Alice." He led her inside, his relief so strong that he knew he was projecting, and they went into the living room where Alice waited anxiously, throwing her arms around Bella as soon as she spotted the girl.

"Alice, what happened?" The girl asked in surprise, returning the hug hesitantly.

"You were hurt." She explained, her arms tight around her sister, and Jasper watched, anxious to hear what the vision was about. "You couldn't breathe…Carlisle had you upstairs…it was bad." She bit her lip, rocking them back and forth slightly, and Jasper put a hand on both of their shoulders.

"Why don't we sit down, Alice…and then you can tell us from the beginning." She nodded, releasing Bella but keeping her hand, and they all sat on one of the sofas, Bella in the middle as she turned to face Alice, and Jasper kept a hand on her back, monitoring her emotions closely as he listened.

"You were in the back of the car with Jasper…you were holding her, Jazz, but she was crying, and she couldn't breathe. Carlisle was scared…you carried her upstairs when you got home. Then he had a needle…said something about your lungs, Bella. He put a mask on your face…Jasper was trying to keep you calm. Edward and Emmett ran in…you blacked out and Emmett was yelling. That's all I saw…" Alice bit her lip, touching their sister's hand. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine…are you okay?" Bella tried to force humor into her voice, and Alice nodded a little, swallowing hard.

"Fine." She choked out, forcing a smile, but Jasper didn't believe her for a second. Pulling out his cellphone, he dialed their father.


	26. Chapter 26

"It sounds like a Pneumothorax." Carlisle glanced up as his wife sank her teeth into a deer, getting distracted for half a second before going back to his phone conversation. "A partially collapsed lung…the needle would get the air out of her chest cavity around the lung…if I took her home…it wouldn't be severe enough to require surgery." He sighed, pinching his nose and closing his eyes, torn between worry for what could happen to one daughter and the pain her gift was causing his other one. "Is Alice okay?" He asked, already knowing the answer.

"No." Jasper sighed. "She's with Bella in the living room…she's pretty shaken up. And I think I scared Bella…I was worried."

Carlisle shook his head, although his son couldn't see it. "I'm sure she understands, Jasper. She's safe with the two of you. These visions…Alice can't tell where they originate?"

"No. She saw Bella in the car and in your office, but if that first one is related…she can't see where that one takes place…where Bella gets hurt the first time."

"How is Bella handling this?"

"Okay. No panic attacks…her emotions are mostly normal at the moment. She's all right. I'm worried about Alice though…" Carlisle could hear the pain in Jasper's voice and felt his chest constrict in sympathy for his son.

"We'll be home soon, Jasper." He told him softly.

"Alright. I'll keep her close…" Carlisle closed his eyes as he pocketed his phone, trying to shield his thoughts from Edward who immediately ran over.

"Pneumothorax?" He cried, but Carlisle grabbed him before he could run back to the house.

"Easy Edward." He admonished gently. "Alice had a vision…Bella is fine. At the moment."

"She still can't tell where they're coming from." His admonishing look at his son's tone went unheeded. "If she could just see…"

"Edward." He scolded, crossing his arms. "Have you maybe stopped to think about how much pain this is causing Alice? She is being forced to watch these visions of Bella being hurt, knowing there's nothing she can do…don't you think she wishes she could see where they were taking place." Edward deflated, sighing and nodding, as Carlisle had expected. Although his son tended to panic when it came to Bella, he loved his family, Alice especially, and hated to see any of them in distress. "Have you hunted enough?" The question was serious and he knew that his son wouldn't lie to him. Edward shook his head, turning and disappearing into the forest where Carlisle could smell the trail of the deer who'd fled. It didn't surprise him that, in view of this new information, his son was going after something easy rather than something that tasted good.

Emmett and Rosalie approached, their eyebrows furrowed in worry, and Esme came immediately after. They'd obviously heard. "Emmett, you fed less than Edward. Jasper and Alice are with Bella. You know she'd be upset if you came home early on her account." He nodded reluctantly, then bounded off in the direction Edward had run. His wife and daughter, on the other hand, were more apt to put feeding before playing, so they were fine. All they had to do was wait for the boys and they would be off, where Carlisle could speak to Alice about this vision and try to figure out what was causing them.

"Carlisle…" He glanced up at his wife who was watching him thoughtfully. "The visions…they started after Bella began studying at home…when she was first starting to recover…"

"Yes…" He thought back, surprised that he hadn't thought to factor that in. "The first one was the day Rosalie and Jasper fought…they were planning her wedding. But then there were the others…after Bella spoke to me about returning to school…this sounds like the most vivid one." He sighed, torn once more. He knew that Bella wanted to go back to school…but if Alice saw this happening at school…

"Carlisle, if this is happening at school, we cannot allow her to go back." Esme spoke softly as their sons returned. He crossed his arms, shaking his head.

"We don't have any definite proof…she's supposed to return tomorrow, and I hate forbidding her after I've already given permission…not to mention, if this is going to occur at the school, then she won't be able to go back at all." He saw the pain flash across Edward's face, knowing how much this would upset her.

"I would rather have her upset than injured." Esme said firmly. "If it's happening at school, she will not be going back. I'll resign…someone else can teach. We can pull everyone else too if that's what she wants…claim that we're leaving soon. She can finish up through homeschooling. She's doing very well with her work."

"I agree." Edward spoke softly. "It'll upset her, but I'm not putting her in danger like that…and Jasper…" He shook his head. "He shouldn't have to go through that…or you Em." Emmett looked up at Edward in surprise. "You guys go our of your way to look out for her at school…more than you should have to."

"Edward, we don't care to…"

"I know." He cut his brother off. "And I appreciate it. More than you know. And she does too. But you can't be with her every second, even you, Rosalie, and Alice can't stay with her all the time. I can't put her in a situation where, as soon as one of us turns our back, she's going to get hurt."

Carlisle nodded. He couldn't refute his son's argument. This battle…the battle with the high school and the kids who wanted to hurt his daughter, could be won. Easily. His children could quickly and quietly eliminate everyone that threatened their newest family member. But it wouldn't be worth it. No, if Alice saw that this was happening at the school, then they would stop fighting.

Everyone seemed tense as they returned home, even as Edward rushed to my side, pulling me into his arms. Carlisle gave me a once over before sitting beside Alice, taking her hand. "Alice?" I felt a surge of worry for her, wondering if this was worse than I thought. Carlie climbed onto the sofa and into my sister's lap, making her smile briefly. "Can you tell me what happened?" I looked back and forth nervously between Alice and Carlisle, and Edward kissed my temple, pulling me into the kitchen.

"Don't worry Bella." He hand rubbed up and down my arm and Jasper looked over, his eyes shifting to worry as he approached us, apparently responding to my emotions. "Sh, love it's okay." I shook my head at Jasper who was obviously feeling my worry.

"Is she okay? Alice? She's so upset and…" Immediately understanding, Japer's face softened into a gentle smile.

"Bella, she's okay. She's just worried about you, darlin. Don't worry. We're going to keep you safe."

"I know…but Alice…" He ruffled my hair.

"Don't worry about her, Bella. I'll take care of Alice." And I realized that I sometimes forgot that Jasper and Alice had a relationship just as strong as Emmett and Rosalie…or Edward and myself. Even if they weren't as demonstrative in public as the other couples, I knew that Jasper loved Alice above everything else…he could comfort her better than I could.

I felt a little embarrassed at my overreaction, but the emotion disappeared in a second and Jasper shook his head. "No. Don't." He stepped forward, hugging me gently. "I appreciate it. Really. I know you love her. But don't worry. We've got it covered…we're just worried about you. So…try not to throw yourself down the stairs or anything." I stuck my tongue out at him and he chuckled, tugging on my hair. "Edward, we didn't get around to feeding her…Alice was upset and…sorry." Edward shook his head, ignoring my glare at being spoken of as a pet.

"It's okay. Don't worry about it. I'll get her something to eat. Just take care of Alice." He nodded, heading back into the living room where Carlisle and Esme were speaking quietly to her.

Edward ushered me onto a barstool and pulled a can of soup out of the cabinet, obviously knowing I wouldn't want to eat much right now. Emmett came into the room as he was putting the bowl in the microwave, throwing an arm around me. "Hey Bells." He murmured, squeezing my shoulder. Rosalie appeared on my other side, taking my hand. "Did Jasper forget to feed you?" I shrugged him off, making him laugh, the sound strangely out of place when everyone felt so worried, and I felt the knot in my chest loosen a little.

"Ignore him." Rosalie rolled her eyes at her husband, squeezing my hand with a grin. "I'm going out, and you're coming. Don't glare at me, Edward." She didn't even glance up at him where he stood in the kitchen. "I already spoke to Carlisle. She'll be safe with me…I won't let anyone hurt her. We'll take that dog somewhere…she needs some cute clothes."

I laughed. "Rosalie, Carlie doesn't need…"

"Nonsense." She looked up when Emmett stood, fetching me a bottle of water and placing it before me. "She only has one leash, and she needs at least two more." She smiled thoughtfully. "I've never gone shopping for a dog before…there's this place in Port Angeles that sells clothes just for puppies! I even saw this cute little dress…" I laughed, shaking my head, finally seeing the teasing light in her eyes as she gushed with fake enthusiasm, obviously working to cheer me up. She grinned ruefully as Emmett chuckled, squeezing my shoulder. "Okay, okay. We're not getting your dog any clothes." Edward placed a bowl of soup in front of me, fighting a grin at her antics. It was unlike Rosalie to work so hard to cheer me up, but I appreciated it. "But we are going shopping. You need new clothes and…no don't argue." She held up a hand when I started to protest. "Besides, you've been cooped up in this house nearly all week, and you need to get out of Forks." Her smile was genuine this time and I relented, smiling and nodding a little. She was obviously trying to cheer me up and I was grateful to forget about the terrible visions for a while.

We did go shopping, although Edward was obviously reluctant to let me go. Carlisle and Esme finally stepped in, assuring him that everything was fine and reminded us to keep our phones on. Alice was still speaking quietly to Jasper when we left, and Rosalie did her best to distract me, dragging me to several shops in Port Angeles, having me try on so many outfits that I pretty much forgot about being worried. Rosalie was perfectly capable of keeping me safe, and the frequent phone calls she was receiving from Edward came to an abrupt halt when I caught her growling at him after I'd slipped into a skirt that, surprisingly enough, I actually liked.

We spent a few hours out at the shops, and then she drove us home, glancing frequently at me as we sped down the expressway, the back seat loaded with bags, most of which were mine. "We're going to have to get you a bigger closet…or maybe we'll just wait until we move and expand the closets wherever we go." She glanced at me, checking my reaction, and I was reminded of my earlier worries. "Bella…I know you're going to miss your dad…" I didn't respond, looking down at my lap. Honestly I was expecting a lecture on 'I made my decision' etc. Instead, she took my hand. "I also know that we're going to do whatever we can to make sure you can see him…even if Sam won't allow us to break the treaty. So you don't have to worry about that."

"Rose…is Carlisle going to make me stay home?" I asked quietly, glancing up at her. "Because of the visions?"

She sighed. "I don't know. If he finds out that they're happening at the school, then yea, probably. We're not going to put you in that kind of danger." I nodded, having figured as much. "I know you want to graduate for your dad…I know you want…a lot of things for your dad." She stumbled over the words, and I was surprised that she would guess…then again, she would suspect if Alice sent her away so I could talk to Carlisle. I wondered if Edward knew as well. "And I know I'm not the best person to talk to…about all you're giving up. But…it's worth it. To you. Right?" She seemed to be forcing out the words that caused her pain and I nodded firmly.

"I'm getting so much in return…you guys, Edward…I wouldn't want to live without him, Rosalie."

"I can understand that."

"I wouldn't want children with anyone but Edward." I offered, getting straight to the point, and she nodded.

"I know." There was a long pause before she began to speak in a quiet voice. "I want children, Bella. I have for so long…but I want Emmett's children. Maybe some day, I'll be able to think about adopting." I squeezed her hand, wishing I could offer her some comfort. I knew that Rosalie had the most trouble with what she was, but I also hoped that she could some day see it as I did…more of a blessing than a curse.

"No matter what I'm giving up, I get to spend the rest of my existence with someone I love, and with a family…the best family I could ever hope for. I can go to school…learn whatever I want. I don't have to worry…about anything really. So it's worth it. I just…I wish I could give my dad something."

"You're giving him a wedding. And don't think we won't find a way for you to see him…if that's what you want. He's a tough guy…I think he can take seeing his daughter as a vampire." She bared her teeth and hissed as she said the word and I laughed, knowing how they'd all been amused at my initial reluctance to use the word. She smiled. "You'll still be alive. And that's all he'll care about." She took the exit to Forks, grinning suddenly in excitement at the rearview mirror where she looked at the bags, changing the subject. "I can't wait to show Emmett that little lacy…" I held up my hand, shaking my head with a laugh.

"Ugh…I don't want to know, Rosalie." The last thing I wanted to think about was my big brother in that way. I knew what they got up to when I was sleeping or when they went 'hunting' together. I just did my best not to think about it.

"Oh, come on! I know you didn't just buy those blue panties for…" Holding my hands up to my now flaming red cheeks, I shook my head, trying to block out her laughter as she rolled down her window a little, probably getting some fresh air, and I took a second to look forward to a day when I could chat with Rosalie or Alice…or any of them, without my blood hurting them.

Alice stared at the TV, pressed against Jasper's side, enjoying having the living room to themselves as she tried not to think about the visions. No amount of searching the future had given her any results, so she had decided that they would just have to watch Bella closely the next day. They had every class with her. The only time she wouldn't be with one of them was when she had to change in gym class…

The gym locker room was full of girls. Lauren pulled her shirt over her head, then turned to grin at Bella's back, her mouth set in a smirk. "Everyone knows you're crazy…I mean, first you screw your boyfriend's father. And now my mom says you slit your own wrists. I don't know why Edward would even want…" Bella lunged, her fist slamming into Lauren's face, her jaw clenched as Lauren's head bounced off the lockers, then went to hit her again. Laruen grabbed her, shoving hard, but Bella had a grip on her shirt, pulling her backwards and on top of her when they fell. Bella rolled them over, punching her again, but one of Lauren's friends ran over, bringing a foot back and slamming it into Bella's side, the locker room coming to life with the incoherent shouting of the surrounding girls. Bella gasped, her eyes widening, and her hands dropped from Lauren's face as she tried to curl into a ball to protect her sides. It was no use, and Lauren rolled them back over, her own fist coming back to slam into Bella's face, and another foot rammed into her side.

Bella screamed, a terrible, animal like cry echoing through the room, and Lauren fisted her hands in Bella's hair, pulling up and slamming her head into the concrete floor once…then again. Bella's eyes dulled, a pained whimper escaping from her mouth. A few girls seemed to be trying to help, but they were held off by Lauren's friends who formed a ring around them. One girl turned, racing out of the room.

Lauren lifted her head again, but a familiar shape appeared at her side. Jasper grabbed the girl, throwing her against the wall hard enough to shatter her bones, and the girl slumped against the floor lifelessly as the others scattered. "Bella!" He crouched over her, touching her cheek gently. "Bella, talk to me. Can you hear me, darlin?" She whimpered again, screaming breathlessly when he went to move her. "Okay, it's okay, darlin. Carlisle's coming…they're gonna call him. It's gonna be alright." His accent was thick in his distress, but no one in the room seemed to notice…the other girls were pressed against the wall as far from him as they could get. "Bella?"

"Thanks Jasper." She gasped out, reaching out to touch his hand, and he ripped off a piece of fabric, touching her face and wiping away the blood that he barely seemed to notice.

"Shh. It's alright, darlin. Let's get you up. Come on…" She sobbed when he lifted her, leaning completely against him, and he helped her shuffle forward while he mumbled reassurances to her...

Carlisle burst into the principal's office, his eyes panicked at he knelt in front of Bella. "B*tch slammed her head against the floor." Jasper told him loudly when she started to slump forward dizzily. Then Carlisle turned on Mr. Greene who stood by nervously, his face murderous as he pointed his finger in the man's face, his voice booming off the walls as he yelled words she couldn't make out.

Jasper pulled Bella to her feet but she screamed, her knees buckling as she collapsed. Carlisle was immediately gentle once more, kneeling where Jasper had lowered her to the ground, his eyes frantic… Alice watched again as she was placed in the car...driven home...Carlisle's study...

Alice jerked to awareness once more, the too solid vision still haunting her, and she gave a choked cry. "No…" She looked around the room, realizing she was on Jasper's lap. "No…Jasper….Bella!" She clutched his arm. "She can't!" She didn't realize she was speaking in disjointed sentences until Jasper cupped her face in his hands.

"What? What is it darlin?"

"Bella!" She cried helplessly, her eyes burning uncomfortably as she sobbed. "Please! No…Carlisle!"

There was no need to call twice. Alice father's appeared in the living room, hurrying to his daughter's side. "What? Alice, what's wrong?" She continued to sob, shaking in Jasper's arms as she watched it again, this time even clearer as Bella gasped for breath in Jasper's arms…as they drove her home…blacking out in Carlisle's office…all of the visions connecting.

"No!" She screamed it now, the vision disappearing once more to show her father's worried face. He reached out and took her hand, Jasper's arms tight around her.

"Alice, talk to me. Please. What is it?"

"Bella." She told him shakily. "She can't…" He shook his head and she forced herself to take a calming breath, closing her eyes for a moment and then trying to relax against Jasper. They could prevent this. "She can't go back to school. I know you said she could….please don't let her. Please. Just don't let her. Please, Carlisle!" He seemed troubled and she shook her head, gripping her father's hand, her eyes desperate. "Carlisle, Lauren will torment Bella…they'll fight…the locker room... It's bad, Carlisle." Then she thought of Jasper, throwing the girl against the wall, her bones shattering, and she gripped her husband's arm with her free hand.

"From the start Alice." Carlisle requested softly, his voice calm and soothing, his thumb rubbing gently against her hand. She took a shaky breath, resting her head against Jasper's shoulder.

"They were in the locker room…after gym class I think. Lauren…she…in the vision she said that Bella slept with you and that she's cutting herself…she said she didn't know why Edward would want her." Alice froze, looking around to make sure Bella hadn't heard that.

"She's upstairs with Edward and Carlie…sound asleep." Carlisle assured her, his tone a little strained. As he spoke, Esme entered the room, her eyes worried as she hurried to Alice's side.

"I don't know how long she'll torment her but Bella…snapped. She attacked her…hit her, they fought…other girls got involved. Lauren got her down and they kicked her…hard. She couldn't breathe. Lauren slammed her head into the floor…she stopped fighting. Jasper…" She looked over at her husband, her eyes apologetic. "You ran in…threw Lauren against a wall. I think you killed her." Both Carlisle and Jasper's eyes widened. "Then the other vision…in the car. You brought her home…you had a needle, Carlisle. I had this one before…she was in the same outfit. It was the same day. She had a mask on her face and she couldn't breathe…she passed out and Emmett was yelling…" She cut off with a sob and Jasper kissed her temple.

"I was right…Pneumothorax." Carlisle murmured, his face troubled. "It sounds like her rib punctured her lung…it caused her lung to partially collapse. And a concussion…that would cause her to black out." He shook his head, looking back up at Alice and Jasper. "It doesn't matter…it won't happen." He comforted her, his voice firm. "She's not going back…I won't put her in that kind of danger." He said grimly, squeezing Alice's hand and standing. "Are you alright?" He asked, and she gave a shaky nod. "I'll speak with Bella in the morning."


	27. Chapter 27

Edward tightened his arms around the girl beside him, closing his eyes and resting his nose against her hair, his jaw clenched too tightly as he watched the horrific vision play out…watched his brother try so hard not to hurt her…watched his father do his best to save her life. The worst part was her scream when the girls kicked her…the way her eyes dulled when her head was slammed against the floor. She wasn't going back to school. Ever. Not until she was immortal and unbreakable….to humans anyway. He wasn't going to allow her to be in danger like that. He'd raced into the ballet studio, heard her scream in pain…watched her cry…tasted James's venom in her blood as she begged him to put out the fire in her hand. He'd sat by her side, refusing to leave the room, when she'd lain in that hospital bed, her leg encased in a cast, a cannula under her nose helping her breathe. He'd led her through the sewers of Italy, keeping her close while the Volturi guards had eyed her, each hoping they'd be the one to get her blood…read Jane's mind as she'd put every ounce of her gift behind her gaze as the vampire had stared at his mate…for a brief moment he'd been horrified that after everything he'd done to her, she would have to feel that terrible pain.

And then he'd sat at her bedside once again when she'd been shot, when she'd suffered panic attacks…when she'd become so depressed and frightened that she'd dug out the skin on her own arm. Through all of that, he'd stayed at her side, doing his best to repair the damage done to her. But not this time. This time, he would protect her. Just this once, he told himself bitterly, he would prevent her from being hurt. Even if it upset her. He knew that Alice couldn't tell how Bella would take the news…she wasn't exactly looking honestly. But he couldn't blame her. Alice had been tormented by these visions for days and was now sitting in Jasper's lap, her head on his shoulder as he held her, his embrace protective. Even Carlisle and Esme had retreated…Jasper could be a bit intense when he was feeling protective of Alice. Then again, Edward didn't blame him…no one did. He, of all people, knew what it felt like to hold the person you loved the most in the world while they suffered…knowing there was nothing you could do.

'I'm so sorry, love.' He stroked her hair, not daring to say the words aloud lest he wake her. The puppy, curled up on Bella's other side, was curled against her stomach, and he could hear the dog's gentle breathing. Since getting Carlie, Bella seemed to suffer less from nightmares, and he was grateful once more that he'd thought to buy her a dog. But that led him to another thought…the root of her distress at Charlie's on Wednesday…her talk with Carlisle that he wasn't supposed to know about but had caught in Carlisle's mind...the chat she'd had with Rosalie…all stemming back to the issue of her change and what it would cost her. Edward wasn't stupid…he knew that this would be difficult for her. She was giving up so much…her humanity, which didn't seem to bother her so much, but also her father in a way. Even if Carlisle found a way to allow her to stay in touch…and if Carlisle couldn't figure it out then Edward would find a way…there would always be a gulf between them. She would have to be extra careful around her father lest she hurt him on accident. He would grow old but never see her grow up. He would never have grandchildren.

That…that was the part that hurt the most, though he wouldn't bring it up with her. He couldn't give her children. Before she was changed, if he were to risk touching her…if he were to let himself forget for just one second how breakable she was, and then accidently hurt her…he couldn't do it. He didn't dare risk it. Not when he was so close to having her forever. But that wasn't all. He'd heard rumors…human women impregnated by vampires…women growing weaker and weaker until they were ripped apart from the inside by the monsters growing inside of them…he couldn't bear the thought. So there was no question…until she was changed, that was out of the question. But once she was changed, all chances of her having children were gone. It was impossible. And she wanted children…with him. The thought made his chest ache as he stroked her long hair. He wouldn't refuse to change her…he was too selfish, too excited to have her, to do something so noble. But, he reminded himself, she couldn't live without him, and he doubted he could live without her…no, he knew he couldn't. Not to mention, he family would probably disown him and keep her. He grinned in the dark, kissing the back of her hair, and chuckling softly when she murmured in her sleep, shifting a little as she curled around the dog.

'She has thought about adoption.' He'd heard it in Rosalie's thoughts. Honestly he'd never thought of having children or adopting them, although the thought of raising a child with her was…appealing to say the least. He knew that she would make a wonderful mother, and that any child in their family would be well taken care of and loved. 'But what about our secret…they would have to be changed…or have to keep the secret, moving around with us forever…until they got old and died.' That thought was painful. He couldn't imagine raising a child and then watching them die…even if they lived a long, happy life for a human.

She whimpered in her sleep, rolling over and turning her back to the dog that seemed to huff in irritation, standing and then curling up in a different place behind Bella's head. Smiling and stroking her back, he listened as her breathing shifted and she fell deeper into sleep. Her fingers found his shirt and curled around the material, her nose against his neck as she inhaled, his scent calming her as it was intended. He never knew how Bella would react to things, although he liked to think that he was getting better at guessing. But in this situation…he had no idea. She wanted to graduate. She wanted to go back to school…and it was impossible. Even if he thought she would be safe…even if he and his siblings committed themselves to spending every waking moment with her…Carlisle and Esme weren't going to give on this. Esme hadn't wanted her to go back to school since pulling her the first time, and now that Carlisle had been given evidence that this would happen at the school, he wouldn't allow her to return.

Bella was independent. She made her own decisions…she had since she was a child, for a lot of reasons apparently. She'd never really been subject to the will of her absent mother or father. Actually the only times she'd been subject to the will of an adult…it had ended painfully for her. Her mother's ignoring her panic attacks and forcing her to go to the babysitters whose children hurt her, the men who'd molested her…when adults interfered in her life, Bella always seemed to end up hurt. Her father had never hurt her physically, of course, but he'd caused just as much damage as her mother. So he was worried about how she would see Carlisle and Esme forbidding her to go to school. She loved Carlisle and Esme…more than that, she needed them. If they were to fight now…he sighed, kissing her forehead, the warmth from her body soaking into his own, and he made sure she was covered, not wanting her to get cold.

He didn't want any of this…he just wanted to protect her. 'If we can just get through this…everything will be fine.'

Carlisle held his wife's hand tightly in his own, rubbing his thumb along the back of her wrist. She stood close to him, her head against his shoulder as they watched Jasper and Alice in the living room from the doorway. Their daughter sat in his lap, her eyes closed, her knees pulled up to her chest, and her head against his shoulder. He was tense, dangerous emotions pouring off of him, his jaw clenched, one hand on her head, the other around her knees, holding her tightly. Jasper wouldn't allow a threat against Alice. She was rarely so affected by a vision, so Carlisle could understand his son's frustration…his need to hold her and keep her safe.

Rosalie sat at the kitchen table, her worried eyes on him, and Emmett stood behind her, his hand on her shoulder, his eyes grim as he watched Alice slowly begin to relax. Esme pulled away from him then, approaching Jasper, and Carlisle tensed, not liking his emotions. But as soon as Esme approached, Jasper calmed, allowing his mother to sit beside him and Alice, her hand cupping his cheek as he turned to look at her with pained eyes. Pulling them both into her arms, she held Jasper's head against her shoulder, stroking Alice's short hair.

The air seemed to calm a little as Jasper made an effort to stop projecting. Taking a deep breath, Carlisle walked over to where Rosalie sat and took the chair beside her, reaching out and squeezing her hand. She glanced over at him and he gave her a small smile. "It's alright, Rose." He told his eldest daughter quietly. She was the third person he'd changed…his first daughter. Despite her cold exterior and her bitterness, she was still his little girl…or that how he saw her. How he would always see her. It was how he saw Alice and Bella…he loved them, his daughters, and worried about them when he wasn't with them, even the superhuman girls that could so easily defend themselves. Rosalie had changed, though. Her bitterness…the cruelty she used to defend herself…it was fading away. She was softening, toward her family anyway. She had learned to love her new baby sister, and from the moment she'd started to accept Bella, he'd watched the ice melt, watched as her wall came down a little. Rosalie didn't trust easily, but Bella had that affect on people.

"She's going to be upset." Rosalie told him simply, her voice matter of fact. "She wants to go back, Carlisle." He nodded. He knew that well. He didn't want to forbid her anything…he didn't want to tell her no when she asked something of him. But he couldn't let her go back. He hadn't faced this part of being a father in a while. "She'll understand, though." Rosalie tried to comfort him, squeezing his hand briefly before pulling away, grabbing Emmett's instead. "Probably." Carlisle smiled a little as the two disappeared out the door.

The night passed too quickly for the doctor, and he found himself wanting to pace once more. Jasper eventually calmed down completely, as did Alice who all but pranced over to him, kissing his cheek fondly before she and Jasper disappeared, probably going off to the woods. They often went out at night, or had before Jasper had been occupied by watching Bella, but his son needed to spend time with his wife, and Carlisle and Edward were both more than qualified to watch after their newest family member. Regardless, the girl slept soundly through the night while Carlisle sat downstairs, his wife on his lap, his eyes closed as he rested his head on the back of the sofa, wishing for the first time in a while that he could sleep…or maybe focus on something else.

He knew it was ridiculous that he worried about this…telling Bella she couldn't go back to school. But Alice's terror….her description of her vision…they'd shaken him. He'd treated Bella for injuries plenty of times, and it never got any easier. But this vision…it was more serious than a sprained wrist or even a gunshot wound to her arm. Bella was human, and if her lungs quit working, there wasn't much he could do to save her. Changing her would, after a point, be his only option. But it would be incredibly painful for her in the meantime. He hated Lauren Mallory. With a passion he didn't realize he had, he hated that girl that threatened his daughter. He found himself wishing that Rosalie and Alice had burned her house down. He had no idea why the girl hated Bella so much, but he didn't really care. Nothing Bella had done could have justified this. No, some people were simply cruel, and it seemed Lauren was one of them. 'Jasper did want to kill her.' He shoved the thought away, scolding himself firmly.

"Bella is fine, Carlisle." Esme spoke quietly as the sun peeked through the trees, throwing light into their living room.

"She's going to be upset."

"Bella is reasonable, love." She touched his face, her eyes gentle. "If you explain the situation, she'll understand. She's strong, Carlisle. I know you worry about her, but treating her as though she's going to break at any second is not going to help her recover." He nodded, knowing that she was right. "I'm going to go call the school…there's no reason for me to continue to teach there if Bella isn't returning to school."

"I thought you loved teaching." He caught her hand before she moved to stand.

"I don't like this school, Carlisle." Her eyes turned cold, her lips turning down into a frown. "The children are cruel, and the teachers are hostile toward our children." He frowned, not having caught that particular fact. "You know Bella's gym teacher gave her trouble…he tried to insist she participate in class. If Jasper hadn't been there, she might have given in…and injured herself further."

"I sent a note from the hospital."

"Yes, I know. And it was in the office. But it's not just that. I heard him speaking to her English teacher…saying that she was getting special treatment because she was living with us. But it wasn't just Bella. Rosalie and Alice have had a lot of trouble with their art teacher, and Emmett's history teacher complains about him to whoever will listen in the break room." Carlisle clenched his jaw irritably. Of course his children wouldn't complain about it, but it was bad enough they were forced to go to high school so often. When they could get away with it, they started off as seniors so they'd only have one year before they could do something they enjoyed. He knew they all preferred college, or even going into professional careers like he and Esme were able. But dealing with teachers who were hostile for no reason…well he was starting to truly hate this town, despite there being a few good people.

"She's waking up." Esme told him softly, standing. "I need to call the school. They'll have to find a replacement soon. Do you want me to tell them that we're pulling the rest of them?"

"Yes…there's no point in keeping up the façade." She nodding, kissing him quickly, then went into the other room where he heard her pull out her phone. They would send exams to the house and she could take them at home…or they could fake a diploma for her. It didn't matter at this point. He sighed, hating the situation he was forced into by the people of this town, but deciding that there was nothing he could do about it. 'Whatever happens, we got Bella out of all this. That's more than reward enough.'

I found myself waking as the sun peered in through the window and tried to hid my face in Edward's chest, but it was cold. He tucked the covers around me more snugly, kissing my forehead. "What time?" I mumbled, not quite coherent enough to form full sentences.

"Almost six." He spoke hesitantly, his voice sad, and immediately I knew that something was wrong.

"What?" I asked, gripping his shirt.

"I said it's almost six." He spoke up and I sighed, realizing that I would have to speak more clearly if I wanted to have an actual conversation with him.

"No. What is it? What's wrong?" He seemed surprised, then resigned.

"Carlisle's coming up…he has to speak with you." I felt my stomach drop, then took a deep breath.

"I can't go back, can I?" I asked in a small voice. His arms wrapped around me, his lips going to my forehead.

"No. I'm sorry, love." I nodded, reaching up and wiping at my eyes, irritated at myself for crying over nothing. At that moment, Carlisle entered, apparently receiving permission from Edward that I hadn't heard. He sat behind me on the bed, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry Bella. I know that I said you could go back…"

"It's okay." I assured him, hearing the worry in his voice and reminding myself that he had to have his reasons. Swallowing hard, I looked up at him. "What happened?"

He looked down at me grimly. "Alice had another vision…"

"Is she okay?" He seemed to consider his answer carefully.

"Yes…she is now. For a while, she was very upset. But she calmed down. She and Jasper went out last night…they haven't returned, nor have Rosalie or Emmett." He brought a hand up to my cheek and wiped at wetness under my eye that I hadn't noticed. "I truly am sorry, Bella. I know this was important to you." I swallowed once more, fighting the ache in my throat that alerted me to the tears that would fall if I weren't careful. I wasn't going to hurt him like that…he was protecting me, like my own father should have when….

I shoved the thought away. It wasn't fair of me to think like that. "Can I go see him? Charlie? I need to tell him…" He nodded, reaching over and kissing my forehead.

"Of course, sweetheart. Why don't you rest for a little while longer? It's still early." I nodded, forcing a smile for him, then rolling back over as he left the room, closing my eyes tightly and holding my breath until I heard his footsteps fade.

"Love?" Edward's soft voice broke my resolve and I choked out a sob against his shoulder, clutching his shirt in my hand as he pulled me closer. "Oh, Bella…I'm so sorry. It's alright."

Of course it was alright…or it would be. I knew that it would be okay. Honestly it wasn't that big of a deal…or so I told myself. So I didn't get to graduate from high school….so what? I had bigger things to worry about. But at the moment, it all seemed to press down on me; the fear about my change, the wedding, Charlie's reaction to all this…the pack's reaction…burrowing into his arms, I cried softly until I drifted back to sleep, not worrying about the rising sun behind Edward.

When I woke again, the sun was streaming in through the windows and I took a second to wonder why he didn't have curtains. 'Why would he need them?' I asked myself in amusement. 'He doesn't sleep, and the dark doesn't bother him. Besides, his whole back wall is glass.' It did provide a lovely view of the trees and stream behind their house. Rolling over once more and hiding in his arms, I pressed my face into his chest, trying to pull the covers up. He put an end to my clumsy movements, pulling the blankets over my shoulders and tucking me in.

"Are you cold?" He asked softly, starting to move away, then chuckling when I gripped his shirt, pushing myself closer to him. He accepted me easily, running his hand down my back.

"No." I mumbled, knowing he would catch my lie. "Carlie?"

"She got sick of you tossing and turning." He teased, kissing the top of my head. "She's with Carlisle in his study."

"Everybody else?" I wondered.

"Esme called the school this morning." He spoke carefully, but I was determined not to break down again. I would just have to finish high school at home…and I wouldn't lose Charlie. I'd be able to talk to him after my change. Carlisle had promised. "She resigned from her position…and informed the school that we were all being pulled from the school to finish our education at home. Carlisle sent in all the necessary documents. He and Esme are in his study, talking about our wedding." I smiled a little, my eyes still closed as my head rested on his arm, my hands gripping his shirt. "Rose and Emmett are on the porch. They're doing something with the wedding as well…I'm not sure what. I think they're looking through the scrapbook…yea, they're talking about decorations. Well, Rosalie is. Emmett's worried about you."

"Me?" I opened my eyes for the first time, looking up at him.

"Mhm. He hates that you're upset." I sighed, not wanting Emmett to be upset about this. "Jasper and Alice went out and haven't returned…Alice texted me and told me that they would be back this evening. They went hunting up in Canada." I frowned a little in confusion. "They wanted to spend some time together alone. No, don't look like that." He cupped my cheek. "Don't feel guilty, Bella. It isn't your fault. They just needed to get away for a few hours. They're fine." He kissed me the, placing a hand against the back of my head. "You wanted to visit Charlie today?" I nodded, feeling a little sad once more. "Alright. Let's get you something to eat first. It's nearly eleven."

I looked out the window in surprise, unable to believe I'd spent so much time sleeping. "Why did you let me sleep so late?" He chuckled, sitting up and pulling me into his arms once more, my body falling on top of his as he wrapped his arms around my back, grinning at me mischievously.

"Because you were tired. Besides, it's fun to listen to you in your sleep." I stuck my tongue out at him, wrinkling my nose, then started to move, rolling my eyes when he held me in his vice grip. Giving up, I crossed my arms on his chest, starting down at him, one eyebrow lifted.

"What are you doing?"

He laughed, reaching up and kissing me in lieu of an answer, and I couldn't complain, my hands moving to slip around his neck. One of his hands moved up and down my back as he kissed me, the other cupping the back of my head. For half a second, I remembered how Jacob had kissed me, how his hands had been where Edward's were…how he'd pressed so hard against my lower back that he'd left a bruise. But before I could react, Edward's gentle hand moved back up my back, his thumb stroking my neck, and his other hand moved to cup my cheek. This was nothing like Jacob's attack on me. I could spend all day doing this, even if it could lead to nothing else.

He rolled us over carefully, hovering over me and moving me so that I was laying on the pillow, his hand slipping around to my side and under my shirt where he stroked the skin there. I tried to press against him, but he held me still as his lips moved to my jaw and I tangled my fingers in his hair. "I love you." He mumbled against my ear, his nose skimming my cheek.

I smiled faintly, turning my face and kissing his cheek. "I love you too." His hand cupped my side, moving upwards, then froze, his muscles locking for a second before it moved back down and over my shirt, resting once more behind my back. He wanted to continue, but I knew he wouldn't. I also knew that it was cruel to make it harder on him. He was trying to protect me, and if he were to hurt me, even just a little, he would be devastated. "So….breakfast?" He laughed, kissing my forehead, then pulled away.

"Breakfast." He agreed ruefully, pulling me up with him, standing and helping me keep my balance as my feet hit the floor. "I'll make you something. Go ahead and get ready if you like." I nodded, sighing as he shut the door, then walked over to our closet, sifting through my tops until I found something casual enough amid the fancy dresses and blouses.

I was still upset. It was under the surface…a sadness and disappointment that tried to chip away at me. But I wouldn't let it. I'd been so sad for so long…and I was finally starting to feel okay again. I was able to enjoy spending time with my family and I hadn't had one of those hideous panic attacks in a while…I had Carlisle's word that, after my change, I could still see Charlie. And most importantly, I had Edward, my soon-to-be husband, who would stand by me no matter what. So although I wanted to go back to school and graduate, the fact that, according to Alice, it was too dangerous, would not be my undoing.


	28. Chapter 28

The fact that Bella hadn't had a panic attack in days didn't make dealing with one now any easier for Edward. He gripped her wrists as gently as he could in one hand, trying to ignore the new red scratch marks, and kept the other on the back of her neck as she gasped, his jaw clenched as he rocked her back and forth on the bathroom floor. The worst part was that Carlisle wasn't here with medicine for her and Jasper wasn't here to use his gift on her…it was just him…and Charlie downstairs, oblivious to everything. "Oh Bella." He murmured, rubbing up and down her back. He didn't even know what had caused it…

She'd cooked her own breakfast and had seemed okay, chatting with him like she always did, even if she did seem a little sad. But that was normal. She didn't get to go back to school, so she was sad. Sad was a reasonable emotion, and he didn't read any more into it. Then they'd played with Carlie for a while, taking her out and throwing her favorite toy around, and Bella had seemed genuinely happy, laughing in delight at the dog's antics, racing after the dog that she could never catch…then, true to form, tripping over her own feet, laughing aloud as the dog had doubled back and attacked, licking her arms and face; wherever she could reach. Emmett had even joined in, although Carlie had stood over Bella, teeth bared, when he'd approached, and with an exasperated sigh, Emmett had dropped onto the ground beside Edward and crossed his arms in a sulk.

Then the drive to Charlie's…that had been fine. Quiet…but fine. She was always quiet…well, sort of… He kissed her head, holding her closer as she fought to breathe. "Shh, shh love. You're safe. I'll keep you safe. It's okay." He looked around the tiny room, then stood, gently helping her to her feet. "Come on, love." He guided her into her old bedroom, shutting the door, then helping her sit on the bed, pushing the window open as quickly as he could, hoping the air would help, then moved to sit beside her, holding her hands again when she moved to scratch herself again. "No, no, love." He mumbled. "I know, Bella. I know it hurts, love. I'm right here." He forced himself to take slow, deliberate breaths. "Try and breathe with me love."

Charlie had been happy to see them. He'd hugged her like he always did, and shook Edward's hand familiarly, and…and she'd been fine! He forced himself to go back to breathing evenly and slowly while Bella struggled to slow her own breathing. Then she'd told him she couldn't go to school, and he'd assured her that he understood. Then she'd excused herself to the bathroom.

He'd thought nothing of it. So she had to go to the bathroom?! Why was that strange?! He calmed himself once more, aware that this wouldn't help her. He'd made small talk with Charlie, glad he'd listened to the TV where Emmett was watching a baseball game at some point last night. He didn't usually have much to talk to Charlie about, but he'd discussed the game with him…until he'd heard her upstairs…her hesitant voice calling for him, and he'd done his best to excuse himself to Charlie to race upstairs, falling on this knees in front of the girl who was huddled in the corner, her mouth open as she breathed too quickly.

She'd been quiet today but did that mean she'd…what? He didn't know the word…he didn't know how to do this…he loved her. That's all he knew. He loved her more than anything, and she was in so much pain. And he didn't know how to help her. "I'm right here, love." He whispered, rubbing her back where he sat beside her, still holding her hands. "I love you, Bella." He didn't know what to say, but could only hope that having him there, holding her, could help.

It took another five minutes, during which Charlie was surprisingly content to sit downstairs and wait for them to return, but she finally started to breathe normally again, her trembling ceased, and she leaned against him, her arms going limp in his grip. "There, love. Do you feel better?" He wiped at her cheeks, brushing the tears away.

"Sorry…Edward I'm sorry."

"No." He scolded her gently. "No, sweetheart. You don't have to apologize." He assured her, kissing her head. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"I just…I don't know…Charlie…school…if Alice…" She shook her head and he kissed her again, holding to her hands. "I…I can't…" She chocked on her words. He rubbed her back, waiting patiently. "What is wrong with me?" He clenched his jaw, holding her close and rocking her back and forth.

"No, Bella. No…" He shook his head, cupping her face in his palms. "Bella, Alice's vision didn't involve you panicking at school." He told her gently. She looked up at him, obviously confused. "It was more like you attacking Lauren…you fought and some of her friends jumped in…and nearly killed you." He rested her forehead against hers. "I couldn't put you in that much danger…she would have tormented you until you snapped…then Jasper killed her." She stiffened in his arms, staring up at him in surprise. "It's not because we think you can't handle it love. And even if was because we thought you would have a panic attack…that doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. It means…" He could already see the doubt in her eyes and squeezed her hand. "You are the strongest person I know." He told her, his voice fierce. "I have never met someone who could deal with the things you've dealt with…all without…falling apart."

"And then I fell apart." She said softly, her eyes pained.

He sighed sadly, kissing her cheek. "You're human, Bella." He reminded her. "It's normal. Even for vampires…you saw Alice after that vision. Sometimes we have trouble coping too. And there are still days when Jasper…" He shook his head…that wasn't his to share. "You should talk to him. Or Rose. But, Bella…" He dropped his hands from her face, touching her wrist instead, his fingers tracing the lines on her wrist.

"I thought I was okay." She whimpered. "I thought I was better."

"You are still recovering, Bella. And that's a good thing." She wasn't convinced, and he pulled her into his arms, rubbing her back when her head dropped onto his shoulder. "My love." He whispered. "Do you want to go home?" She didn't answer and he pulled his cellphone out of his pocket, dialing his father and pressing the phone to his ear while she cried against him. "Sh, I'm here, Bella." He murmured while the phone rang.

"Edward?" His father started to speak, but Edward knew that Carlisle could hear Bella crying. "Is she hurt?"

"Panic attack." He spoke quietly enough so that Bella couldn't hear. "She scratched her arm again."

"Is she having trouble breathing?" He demanded.

"Not anymore."

"Her father?"

"Has no idea. We're upstairs."

"You found her?"

"She called for me."

"Okay."

Edward paused. "Okay?"

"I'm on my way."

Carlisle grabbed his black bag, racing down the stairs, and passed Emmett and Rosalie on the porch, the dog on his heels. "Dad?"

"Bella. Panic attack." Carlisle spoke more sharply then he meant to, but Emmett didn't seem to take offense. Instead he stood, starting to follow his father to the car. "No, Emmett. It won't help her if we all crowd around her."

"What am I supposed to do? Just sit here?" Emmett cried, still following. Carlisle sighed, picking up Bella's dog and placing her in Emmett's arms in a fluid motion, then jumped into his car, ignoring the annoyed glare she was giving Emmett.

"Watch Carlie." He ordered, backing out and speeding off. In his rearview mirror he watched Rosalie step up beside Emmett, her arm linking with his, one hand going to the dog's back.

The drive to Charlie's was short, but Carlisle's mind was whirling. 'We're doing something wrong…rest and being at home are helping, but I believe she's developed an anxiety disorder.' He grimaced at the thought…he knew that it was going to be harder for her to manage negative emotions now, but if they couldn't find a way to help her now… 'How is the change going to affect her?'

He sighed thoughtfully as he debated different medications, although those were a last resort. As was using Jasper. It wasn't helpful to either of them, and causing both of his children pain wasn't something he was willing to do. 'Therapy won't help her…not unless it's with one of us. I encouraged her to write but she doesn't seem to enjoy that…and that's the key…she has to want to do it…something that will help her relax. If we can't find something…' He pulled into Charlie's driveway, jumping out of the car and grabbing his bag. 'Then she'll always be worried about having an attack…she'll never be able to go out or do anything…' He shook his head. He would fix this. He'd find something to help her…more than that, he'd teach her how to manage this. He had to.

Charlie was sitting in the living room, his jaw clenched, his head in his hand, and Carlisle knew that Edward had been wrong. He remembered Edward telling him that Charlie's thoughts were hard to read and assumed that this had kept Edward from knowing. 'Must be the same thing Bella has…some kind of shield…' He paused at that thought, hesitating in the doorway. 'A shield…could Bella be gifted already?' He pushed the thought aside, storing it for later. Now he had to help his daughter…but first he started to speak to Charlie.

"Don't bother about me…can you help her?" He sighed, resting a hand on Charlie's shoulder.

"I'll do my best."

I couldn't believe this. I'd told myself that I was fine. I thought I was! I was sad that I couldn't go to school, but that wasn't such a big deal…right? But as I sat across from Charlie who assured me that he understood with that…cautious look in his eyes, as though he were waiting for me to break down…I wondered if I was okay. 'They're all waiting for you to snap.' Isn't that what Lauren told me? She said they all knew I was crazy. Was I? Were they just sparing my feelings, indulging me? I'd excused myself to the bathroom at the thought, making sure to keep a calm façade that apparently worked on Edward and Charlie. But as soon as I'd barricaded myself in the little bathroom upstairs, I'd felt my hands start to shake, the heat moving up my neck and face…the breaths that came too quickly.

'I can't go back to school…because I'm crazy. Because I can't handle a little teasing. Because I'm going to break down as soon as something bad happens. What happened to all that strength I thought I had?" It was building again, the pain in my chest, and I gripped my arm, my fingernails once again pushing into my arm, dragging across my skin only twice before I remembered Carlisle's plea. 'No…I'm doing it again. I can't hurt them like this…not again. Breathe.' I instructed myself. 'I have to call for him…I need his help.' Unclenching my jaw, I forced myself to say his name in a normal voice, hoping he would hear.

True to form, he was knocking on the door after only a few seconds. "Bella?" He asked, quiet enough that Charlie wouldn't hear. "Can I come in, Bella?" I tried to answer but the pain in my chest had me gasping, and he pushed the door open, closing it behind him and kneeling in front of me and, for the first time, I realized I was curled up in the corner.

Now he was holding me on my bed, the physical pain gone, but the sorrow still heavy in my chest. 'See. This just proves it. I get worried about something and then I panic. Why can't I just deal with things like a normal person? I don't even have anything to be worried about!' Then a door open and shut, and someone else was in the room. 'Not Charlie…please, I can't hurt him too!'

"Bella? Sweetheart, come here." The bed dipped behind me and cool hands reached out, touching my shoulder. "Just let me see your arm." I let Carlisle take my arm, still sobbing into Edward's chest, and felt him gently touch the scratches there. He took my hand then, rubbing his thumb against the back of my hand, and then reached out, touching my back. "Bella?" I didn't turn…I didn't think I could. "Bella." His voice grew a little firmer and I released my hold on Edward's shirt and turned slightly in his direction. "Sweetheart, I am so proud of you." My tears came to a startled halt and I looked up at him incredulously. "You promised that you would call for one of us if you ever felt like this again, and you did. Thank you." He wrapped his arms around me, kissing the top of my head, and although I knew that he and Edward were talking above my head, I couldn't bring myself to care.

Edward looked at his father, his arms crossed tightly as they sat on Bella's bed. "We have to do something." He told his father softly. Carlisle nodded.

"I know."

"Her arm…" He chocked out. Carlisle shook his head.

'She called for you before it got serious. She is getting better. But I'm going to look into other treatment plans…' He sighed, organizing his thoughts so his son could read them. 'There is a therapist at the hospital. I'll get some ideas from her this afternoon…Edward, we're going to help her learn to deal with this. In the mean time…why don't you take her out today? Get Carlie, put her on a leash, and take them both on a walk. Exercise can help her.'

"When she's changed…" Carlisle shook his head.

'We don't know how she's going to react to that, Edward. That is a whole different issue…we don't need to borrow trouble.' Bella was calming, her sobs slowing, then stopping altogether. Rubbing her back, Carlisle kissed her head, keeping a hand on the back of her neck. 'Can you get her some water?' Edward nodded, racing down the stairs, then slowing when he came into view of Charlie. "Here, sweetheart." He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket, gently pressing it into her hand, a little surprised when she laughed through her tears.

"Why do you even have this?" She asked, holding up the embroidered piece of fabric, one of a thousand Rosalie or Alice had made for him, all with either his initials or his name spelled out in colored thread at the edge.

He chuckled, kissing her forehead as she wiped her eyes. "You know, in my day a man wouldn't be caught dead without one. What if he ran into a crying lady? It would be a disgrace if he didn't have something to offer her." She shook her head at his teasing, wiping her eyes and nose, and then he took it back before she could feel bad about using it….the girl became upset over the smallest of things…he frowned a little at the errant thought as Edward came back into the room.

'No, not the smallest things…although she is easily embarrassed or upset. But it's the things that make her panic…that make her want to hurt herself, that worry me the most. Edward pressed the water into her hands and sat beside her once more, waiting for her to take a drink. Before she could apologize again, Edward sat the glass on the bedside table, pulling her into his lap and kissing her temple. 'Let's get her home.' Edward nodded, lifting her easily and sighing when she curled up in his arms, a sign of the nausea that always accompanied her panic attacks. 'Don't worry Edward. She'll be okay.'

I have no idea what Carlisle said to Charlie. I don't know what he said to Emmett or Rosalie either. I did know that when I came back to awareness, I was at Edward's side. I looked around and realized that we were in the meadow, Carlie sandwiched between us. I was lying on a blanket, my head resting on his shoulder. "Do you feel better?" He asked quietly, and I nodded, looking up at him, my hand going to Carlie's side and petting her. "You were out of it for about twenty minutes." He answered my unspoken question. "Charlie told us to tell you that he loved you, and he hoped you would feel better…maybe we can go back some time this week. Carlisle had to go to work. Alice and Jasper are still gone." I nodded as he helped me get my bearings.

"Emmett? Rosalie?"

"Both still at the house. Both worried." He answered, and I appreciated that he was at least being honest. I focused for a moment on petting Carlie, on the feel of her fur under my hand. It helped…just focusing on that for a moment.

'No one is mad. They're worried. It's okay. I'm fine.' I shifted, placing my head back on his arm.

"Do you feel well enough to get up?" He asked softly, stroking my back. I was a bit confused, but nodded, taking his hand and letting him pull me to my feet. Carlie hopped up as well, and I realized that she was on a leash and wearing a small harness. Edward placed the end of the lead in my hand, then took my other one. "Come on." He led me forward then, toward the forest, and I looked at him in confusion, making him shrug with a small smile. "Dogs need exercise." He told me simply, and, not really able to argue that, we followed the little dog as she strained at the lead, barking excitedly at whatever wildlife happened to be near.

"Good afternoon, Dr. Cullen." Carlisle smiled.

"Hello, Dr. Robst." He greeted the man, remaining in the doorway. The man's office was hectic, covered in drawings and paintings all made by patients, ranging from the stick figures of young children to masterpieces. He took a moment to look at all of them, but paused when Eric Robst chuckled.

"Yea, I've got about a hundred more in boxes at home. Can't really bring myself to throw any of them away…not when they work so hard on them." Carlisle nodded, smiling.

"I can understand that."

"Of course. You have five children." He chuckled, and Carlisle remembered the handkerchiefs that Alice and Rosalie made him...the ones he never threw away or allowed Alice to donate. "Or should I say six? Has Miss Swan agreed to become Mrs. Cullen?" Carlisle stepped into the room with a soft laugh.

"She has, actually. I suppose I've underestimated the ability of small towns in spreading rumors."

"Yes…" The man grew solemn, then gestured to his open door, and Carlisle shut it gently. "Are the rumors why you're here?" Carlisle sat across from him, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees, clasping his hands. "About Bella?"

"What, exactly, are the rumors?"

"Most of them don't bear repeating…teenagers can be…cruel, to say the least. Many of them involve your other sons, as I'm sure you know." He had to appreciate the man's blunt speech. He wasn't circling around it, that was for sure. "Apparently she's grown quite close to them. That much at least seems true."

Carlisle nodded. "They've been wonderful with her. Especially these last few weeks."

"That's good. They're great kids…from what I've seen. I can imagine they'd make very good brothers for her. But I'm assuming the rumors you're talking about have more to do with self harm and what sounds like severe anxiety."

"She has had several panic attacks, beginning when her mother learned that…" He glanced at the door, torn. How much would Bella be okay with him sharing?

"I'm going to assume that there is some sort of abuse involved." Carlisle nodded. "We can leave it at that." He smiled gratefully.

"Thank you. In the next few days, she had three attacks. Then there was another today. But the worst was at school. Some of the rumors reminded her of her abuse, and in order to stop the panic attack, she scratched her arm with her fingernails."

"So she hasn't moved on to blades? Burning?" He trailed off and Carlisle shook his head.

"We would certainly have noticed if she'd used a blade. And she's nearly always with at least one of us."

"Keep an eye out just in case." He nodded.

"Today, she and Edward were visiting her father…she's been living with us."

"Ah yes, the drama with Jacob Black." He smiled wryly. "Nothing stays a secret around here." Carlisle fought a laugh at the irony of someone saying that to him of all people.

"And I don't know what happened. I believe she was upset over not being able to go back to school. I felt it would be in her best interest to stay home for the remainder of the semester. She's also upset about these panic attacks…it's been very hard for her." Eric nodded.

"I can only imagine. She's had a hard couple of months from what I've heard." He leaned forward across his desk. "What can I do? Therapy sessions? You know I'd be more than willing to help." Carlisle nodded, his eyes warm.

"And I truly appreciate it..but I don't believe therapy sessions with someone she doesn't know would be helpful in her case." The therapist seemed to hesitate. "Please, say whatever you like."

"Maybe they are exactly what would be helpful. Sometimes speaking to someone you don't know…someone you don't live with or speak to often…sometimes that is the best thing. But she is your daughter. I won't tell you what to do. If you're looking at alternate therapies, there are several. As you can see, art helps those who are so inclined. But other hobbies as well…reading, writing, exercise especially. You have a dog, don't you?" Carlisle's eyes widened and Eric laughed. "My wife's brother-in-law's aunt's best friend saw your older son…um Jasper, I believe, shopping for dog supplies." Carlisle laughed incredulously.

"Yes, we have a new dog." He confirmed. "I had no idea the rumor mill had gotten this good."

Erin nodded. "Anyway, having a pet has been known to reduce anxiety…playing with them, petting them, taking the dog on walks. That should help as much as anything. Get her outside. I'm not sure how many friends she has, but getting her to spend time with them could be helpful as well." Carlisle nodded. "I'm sure you want to keep her away from medication if you can, and I agree. But a lose dosage sedative could be helpful if she needs it during an emergency."

Carlisle exhaled. "I have had to use a sedative on her once…during her first major attack. I hated to, but she was unable to breathe."

"Does she have any repertory conditions?"

"Not that I'm aware of…to be honestly her file is severely lacking. I checked her blood and it came back clean. And her lungs sound fine." Eric nodded.

"Well, try some of those things…and think about asking her about seeing a therapist, either myself or someone else at the hospital. I can recommend a woman if she'd be more comfortable." Carlisle was thoughtful for a moment...it might be worth looking into.

"Edward took her out with the dog today…hopefully that can help her." Eric nodded.

"Anything she enjoys…anything that keeps her distracted in a positive way, can be helpful.." He paused, smiling a little. "You love her very much." Carlisle closed his eyes, smiling softly. "Good luck, Dr. Cullen. With all six of your children."

"Thank you."


	29. Chapter 29

When they'd walked for about a mile in near silence, Edward finally suggesting they sit down, as even their energetic little dog had finally begun to lag. He'd kept her hand the entire time, but hesitated to hold her close…he'd seen in Carlisle's mind what he was going for with this. Learning to manage her own emotions was the ultimate goal here, and keeping her right by his side every second may not be the best thing for her. Instead he held her hand in his own, letting her focus on the dog, on walking (without falling…at least ten time's he'd saved her from her own feet), on being outside. She spent most of the walk smiling at her dog's antics, or looking around in wonder at the beautiful day, and he knew that this was helping. The weather was warm enough that she didn't need more than her light jacket, she pulled that off when they reached the clearing where Edward stopped them, sitting beside him on the ground, both resting on the blanket he'd brought, and Carlie trotted over, laying on the ground and closing her eyes.

The sun shone down on them and he tried not to look at his own skin, not needing the reminder that they were so different. But this had never bothered Bella. Instead, she placed the leash on the ground, obviously knowing that Edward would be able to catch Carlie on the off chance she decided to run off, and took his hand in both of hers, her face full of the same fascination as the first time she'd seen him in the sunlight. But the light of the sun had nothing on her warm skin against his, and he leaned his head back, closing his eyes as she ran her fingers over his hand and wrist. Of course, it was another reminder...a reminder that he was unnatural and that she was human and that he was going to take that away from her.

'I won't have to worry about making her cold…or hurting her. I can touch her…really touch her. I can hold her.' That thought alone, combined with the fact that she wanted this, made it all worth it, never mind the other things they would be able to do. If he could go his entire existence just being able to really hold her in his arms, to really kiss her, even if he could never take it any further, then he had to admit, it sounded like enough. But he was getting so much more. 'And what is she getting?'

'Immortality.' He reminded himself. 'Near indestructibility. She won't get sick, or injured. She'll be able to walk a straight line without falling.' He grinned at that one. 'She'll have us, her family, forever.' He paused. 'And her emotional control...' He wasn't so sure about that one. Bella had always seemed to feel things strongly, according to his own observations and Jaspers. She was in love with him…passionately. When she loved other people, she would do anything for them. She felt protective of her mother…or she had. He sighed, still hating that entire situation. 'She was protective of her father, and of Carlisle in Esme, though in a different way.' He remembered the way she'd stood up to her mother when the woman had tried to hurt his parents, how she'd been nothing but angry…not panicked, not fearful…furious that someone would try and hurt her beloved new family.

'She said she was good at suppressing negative things…that always seemed odd to me…that she would say something like that. Why does she need to suppress them?' But here was his answer. 'Or maybe it wasn't fear of a panic attack…maybe she just suppressed them because she didn't know how to deal with them.' He shook his head. He wasn't sure that fining answers in her past would do much good at this point. Carlisle was going to speak to a therapist at the hospital, Eric Robst, and ask for some advice. 'Does she need to be the one speaking to a therapist?' Of course, there was a lot she couldn't speak about. But…he wondered if speaking about what she could would help her. He would ask Carlisle, although he knew his father was reluctant to have her in therapy, mostly because of the many details she would have to keep secret, but also because he didn't think she would want to, and at this point, he was loathe to ask her to do anything she didn't want to. He still blamed himself for having her speak to Charlie right after leaving the hospital, although he'd never imagined the repercussions.

Edward glanced down at the silent girl at his side, worried again. 'Is this how it's going to be? Every time she's quiet, I'm going to be the one who panics?' He shook his head at himself. 'No. That won't help the situation at all. I have to keep calm. Especially now…I'm the only one around to help if something happens.' He stiffened suddenly, a familiar scent hitting his nose from upwind, less than a mile off and heading their way…quickly. It slowed as it neared, and he leaned over, placing his lips against her ear. "Bella, keep very still and quiet." He whispered just loudly enough for her to hear, a smile tugging at his lips. Glancing down at the puppy, he could tell from her breathing that she was sound asleep. Bella looked over at him in confusion, but he directed her to look over at the bushes in front of them, and the there was rustling.

Bella glanced at him again but he only smiled a little, glad they were downwind. And then they emerged, two deer, a doe and what looked to be a nearly newborn fawn. Bella's eyes widened as she leaned forward just a fraction, freezing when the female glanced up at them. The smaller deer walked a bit unsteadily in their general direction and he grinned at her amazement. If he didn't know that it would terrify both the female and the fawn, he would have caught the little thing for her and let her pet it. He could tell she was dying to get closer. But Carlie chose that moment to start whimpering in her sleep, her paws twitching, and the doe and fawn took off, startled by the puppy. Edward chuckled at her, reaching over and kissing her forehead. "She didn't smell you?" Bella asked in surprise.

"We were downwind." He explained with a smile, draping an arm around her. The animal sighting seemed to have done the trick, reinforcing his belief that distraction was key. 'Hm…distraction…' Grinning a bit, he reached over and kissed her cheek, moving to her jaw, and then, careful to avoid the place on her neck where her pulse was the strongest, he moved to her chin. Turning, she met his lips with her own, wrapping her arms around him. He took her hips in his hands, lifting her and sitting her on his lap, leaning back and holding her on top of them as he kissed her, mentally noting that he had to do this more often. Out here, there were no thoughts to distract him. He couldn't hear Emmett and Jasper planning out their chess moves or fighting or lusting after their wives…he couldn't hear Alice's inner prattle about the clothes she wanted to buy or see her shifting through the future, he couldn't hear Rosalie…being Rosalie. He reprimanded himself for that last one…Rosalie had changed.

But he didn't want to think abut any of that because finally he had Bella somewhere quiet. 'We are definitely going to honeymoon somewhere far away..hm…I wonder if Carlisle and Esme would let us use their island…'

'What does Bella like to do?' Carlisle sat in his office, drumming his fingers quietly, a habit to remind himself that while deep in thought, he couldn't sit too still. 'Reading. I know she loves to read. We should try and find more books she might like…I'm checking the libraries of the next place we move. And she likes watching us play baseball.' He made a note to get the family together to play again soon. It had been so long since they all got together to do something fun. Of course they couldn't risk letting Bella play…much too dangerous. But she could help Esme again. 'She likes taking the dog out. I think that will help her, if she and Edward take Carlie out every day…or even if she goes alone, if she stays close. There's nothing really dangerous around here, and she can call for us and we'll hear if she's within a few miles. I doubt she'd stray farther than that.' He wracked his brain, suddenly aware of this gap in his knowledge of the girl. 'She took ballet as a child, but I don't think she enjoyed it. Nor does she seem to like any kind of sports with other humans…humans…Angela.' His thoughts strayed toward the girl. 'Bella was friends with her, wasn't she? It would be good for her to get with someone her own…' He chuckled at himself. 'What? Species?' Shaking his head, he tried to refocus, a true feat for vampires. 'I'll speak with Esme.' He decided. 'She may have some ideas.'

Another thing was her schoolwork. She was nearing the end of high school and he had a few ideas for some medical subjects that may interest her. 'I'm sure that would work as well.' He decided to look into some entry level medical texts…he didn't keep any around the house, although he'd found one or two that were basic enough for her. It was all work she seemed to enjoy; he mostly had her go through the chapters and keep notes, writing out definitions she didn't know, and then went over the material with her, answering her questions. She did as well as any student he'd taught, and obviously loved learning, so he was more than glad to teach her.

His phone chimed in his pocket and he pulled it out. Very few people had his cellphone number, and the majority of them were in his family or the Denali cover. The screen told him it was Esme and he pressed it against his ear. "Hello, love." He greeted her, smiling softly. She'd been on the phone with the principal once more when he'd left, still sorting out the documents to ensure that there would be no investigation into the teens all living at home and not attending school, and he knew that his wife had very little patience for the man that had, in her eyes, hurt many of her children.

"Hello, Carlisle." She sounded worried and he scolded himself.

'I should have called her as soon as I finished speaking with Dr. Robst.' Instead he'd gone to his office, letting himself get lost in thought as he was prone to do. "I spoke to the therapist. He's given me some ideas…although he also suggested therapy sessions. With a therapist here at the hospital." He heard her hesitation. "I'm not sure about it, honestly. I don't know if it would help…there's so much she can't say."

"No…but I believe that many of her problems, school, the rumors…those have nothing to do with what we are."

"But the others…being changed, losing Charlie…"

"Is that the real source of all this?" She asked quietly. "Or is it the anxiety itself? She's afraid that she's going to panic…so she does? Or she's afraid that we're going to think she's insane?" He was thoughtful for a moment, going over that in his mind. "Bella doesn't know how to cope with anxiety. She suppresses it or she dwells on it until she panics."

"So you think therapy would be a good idea?"

"A session or two couldn't hurt…of course she could talk to one of us, but…" She trailed off, then changed direction. "What did Dr. Robst say?"

He was a bit confused, but went along with it. "He said that there were several types of therapy. Carlie helps her, we've all seen that. He suggested taking the dog on walks, playing with her…even petting her would help. Exercise. And then…well, hobbies honestly. Drawing, writing…but I'm not sure Bella enjoys either of those. She loves reading, so I thought about getting her some more books…or taking her to a bookstore." He trialed off, not sure if he had any other ideas.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" She wondered.

"I have work at five am…it's going to be my first 48 hour shift in a few weeks…so far I've kept my shifts short because of Bella. I've thought about trading with someone…or splitting it up."

"No…I'll stay with Bella tomorrow. Rosalie and Alice wanted to work on the wedding, and Emmett, Jasper, and Edward can go out. I think I might have an idea or two."

Jasper ran toward the house; his hand in his wife's, his heart lighter than it had been in a while. It had been good to get away for a while with Alice, although he had missed his family and worried about Bella. 'She's been fine.' He scolded himself. 'You can't spend your life worrying about the girl. She's not made of glass…she won't break.' He almost laughed then. As if he could stop worrying about his sister. 'I don't think I'll be able to do that until she's changed…and maybe not even then.' He loved her too much.

"Esme and Bella are going to have fun tomorrow." Alice told him suddenly, her eyes on a future he couldn't see. "Oh…they're going to…" She narrowed her eyes, slowing, and he paused as well, bringing them to a stop and turning to her. "She…I don't…I missed something." He laughed at her pout. Alice hated missing things. But they'd been a bit distracted for a while now. "Well, we're going to plan the wedding…and Esme is kicking you guys out. All three of you." She shrugged, going back to a run. "Come on, let's ask Esme what's going on."

They broke through the tree line and leapt across the river, coming to a surprised halt when Jasper felt the emotions of Emmett who was sitting on the porch. Worry. Fear. Helplessness. "What?" He raced to his brother's side. "Emmett what's wrong?" He asked, dreading the answer.

"What do you think?" Emmett sighed. "Panic attack. She was at Charlie's." Jasper closed his eyes and Alice raced into the house. "She's not here…Edward took her out…they've got the dog too."

"What caused it?"

"No idea. I think she scratched herself again…" He rested a hand briefly on Emmett shoulder then followed his wife into the house to find her standing beside Esme, waiting for their mother to hang up the phone.

"Calm down, you two." Esme reprimanded gently, opening her arms and pulling Alice into them. "She's okay. Edward was able to calm her, and they're going to be out for a while."

"What happened?" Jasper asked. She shook her head.

"Bella has developed an anxiety disorder…when she begins to feel nervous or upset, those feelings can become too much for her, and sometimes it makes her panic. I an only assume she was upset about something at Charlie's…probably about not going back to school…or rather, why she can't go back."

"She's afraid of Lauren?"

"No…she's afraid of herself. I think she's afraid of getting these attacks. Carlisle spoke to Eric Robst today…and we're going to consider therapy for her. After everything she's been through, I'd say it's overdue. I'm going to speak with her tomorrow. I don't believe she'll be up for it today." She looked over at Jasper, reaching out and touching his shoulder, and he wondered what his face must look like. "Jasper, no one blames you for this. You needed to get away. That's not why she had a panic attack, honey. You are not responsible for her emotions." She stepped forward, putting her arms around him. "She's fine now. I'm sure she and Edward are having a good time. Don't worry, Jasper." He forced himself to nod, not wanting to upset Esme. But he couldn't believe he'd thought it would be a good idea to leave now…when she was still recovering. All he could think about was the time she'd called out for him with her emotions, begging him to help her, and Carlisle had told him no.

For a second, he thought about chasing them down…following her scent and finding them…holding her, just for a second, to make sure she was okay. But Alice gripped his hand. "She needs time with Edward right now…and he needs time with her. She's okay. Let them have the rest of the day. You'll see her in a few hours, Jasper." She told him softly, kissing his cheek. "Come on. Let's try and cheer Emmett up." He felt the wave of exasperation from his brother and grinned a little, knowing his wife had purposefully spoke loudly enough so that Emmett would hear. Knowing that his wife was right, Jasper dropped her hand, crouching behind the door where Emmett wouldn't see him, then, moving as quickly as he could, tackled his brother off the porch, ignoring Esme's loud scolding and slamming Emmett into the ground, then took off before he could retaliate, leading him on a chase in the opposite direction of Bella and Edward's scent. The last thing he heard was Alice's laughter and Esme's sigh until, miles away from the house, Emmett caught up to him, catching him around the waist and throwing him into a tree.

Alice laughed softly, watching the future as her husband caught his balance, crouching across the clearing from Emmett and growling, baring his teeth playfully at his brother. Then, turning to Esme, she kissed her mother's cheek. "They're just playing." She assured her mother. "They won't hurt each other. You know that." Esme sighed, shaking her head.

"You know, sometimes I'm impressed by how mature my sons are…taking care of Bella, helping around the house…and then they start going at one another like they were raised by wolves." Alice laughed aloud, sitting down at the counter and grabbing her tablet, pushing a few buttons as the little computer hummed to life.

"So, Bella's going to have fun tomorrow." Esme looked up, obviously relieved.

"Really? I wasn't sure if it would work."

"I'm not sure how well it will work, per se…but she'll enjoy herself. She loves spending time with you. She'll need to catch up on homework though."

"I'll work with her tomorrow night. She's been spending the evenings working with Carlisle on those medical books…she seems to like it." Alice nodded.

"She does. It's interesting to her. And she hopes that she'll be able to be a doctor." Esme opened the cabinet and pulled out a box of pasta. "They'll be home in an hour or two, and she'll be hungry." Alice confirmed at Esme's questioning look.

"Alice…" The girl smiled, her gift alerting her to Esme's question before it was spoken aloud.

"Yes, I'm going to call her tomorrow. I think it would do Bella good to see her sometime…maybe this weekend. She loves spending time with all of us, but it isn't really good for her to isolate herself so much. She can take Carlie…it'll make her more comfortable. Getting her that dog was a really good move on Edward's part." Esme smiled slightly, nodding as she sat a pot of water to boil.

"Do you know what she and Edward are doing?" Esme asked suddenly.

"Um…they're walking Carlie…or they're going to…no, they're going to start walking home. I'm not sure what they're doing right now…it's not something they're going to talk about in the future…or not something they've decided to talk about." She only glanced through their future, seeing them siting together in an unfamiliar clearing. "I guess they went walking." Esme nodded, pulling out a jar of sauce.

"It's good for her to get out. It always seems to help her." Alice stood, opening the freezer and pulling out a loaf of garlic bread, deciding to help. There were no new emails, and no interesting developments in the wedding planning to hold her attention at the moment.

"What are you worried about?" Esme asked softly, pausing as she poured some sauce into a pot to heat up.

"You're good at that…I think it's your gift." Alice said with a soft smile. "Jasper worries so much about her…it was good for him to get away. But I'm worried too." She admitted softly. "What if we change her, and this just gets worse? What if she can't function because she's still panicking?" Alice shook her head. "Or what if she has one, and none of us are around?"

Esme placed the wooden spoon she was using to stir the sauce on a napkin and walked over to her daughter, putting her arms on her shoulders. "I've never seen a vampire keep a physical ailment after her change. As for the mental aspect, look at Jasper and Rosalie. They both have bad days, but for the most part, they're fine." Alice nodded a little at her mother's firm words. "We will have as much time as we need to help Bella without worrying about the attacks causing her so much physical distress. And if the time ever comes that Bella has an attack without one of us around, she will be okay." She spoke as though she were willing it to be true. "Panic attacks are not fatal…she may hyperventilate and lose consciousness, but that's all. She will be in a lot of distress, but her life will not be in danger."

"What if she's driving or…"

"Alice, if you sit around imagining worst case scenarios, you're only going to drive yourself insane. We can't do anything right now…so we're going to make her dinner. And we're going to hold her and keep her company…we're going to do everything in our power to make her feel safe and loved. Because that's what we can do. Right now. Okay?" Alice rested her head on her mother's shoulder, nodding a little, then straightened up, going back to the garlic bread.

"Okay, Mom."


	30. Chapter 30

Charlie started as the game ended on the TV, realizing that he hadn't moved in two hours. Sighing softly, he shifted in the chair, picking up the remote and switching off the TV. There really wasn't any point…he couldn't bring himself to care about baseball at the moment. He'd been so careful…he didn't care that Bella wouldn't be walking with her class…he just wanted her to be okay. And he'd thought she was…she seemed better. But then she run off to the bathroom, and a minute later Edward had followed. He had to admire the kid…Edward had seemed to know immediately when something was wrong, never once seeming put out by Bella's problems. He was grateful, especially since he himself had no idea what to do. How was he supposed to help his daughter, who was upstairs having a panic attack that he'd caused!? 'But what did I do? I told her it was okay!' He didn't bother going upstairs…he wouldn't be any kind of help. He'd never been good with Bella…never had the talent of being able to read her. She was a teenage girl…weren't they supposed to by mysterious and all that? Renee surely had been.

'She's my daughter.' He shook his head. She was his daughter, but he hadn't even seen the girl in years before she'd come to live with him, and now she was practically grown. 'She's getting married, for heaven's sake! I missed whatever chance I had…' He slumped in his char, dropping the remote on the table. He'd been surprised when Carlisle had run through his door, stopping to say something to him. But honestly there was nothing Carlisle could say. Charlie had always liked the man, from the first time they'd met at the hospital after one of his buddies was hurt in a robbery…the man was professional and kind, a great doctor, and Charlie had gone to war with Billy over their silly superstitions. And then he'd taken care of Bella after that fool boy had nearly hit her with his van.

But it was after Carlisle had returned with his family…after she and Edward had gotten back together and grown closer than ever, that Carlisle seemed to adopt his daughter into his large family. He and his wife loved Bells, that much was obvious. They'd even let her move in, defending the girl from both him and his ex wife. So although he wasn't crazy about the idea of having his eighteen year old daughter live with her boyfriend and his family, he had to admit that they all loved her and were good for her, especially after everything that had happened.

He couldn't help blaming Renee for this…she'd always been flighty and irresponsible. But he had never dreamed that her irresponsibility would extend to their daughter! And certainly not to that degree. Their daughter had been abused in her home….right under her nose, and she'd done nothing but make it worse. And now she had panic attacks…and there was nothing he could do! No way to protect his daughter from her own body…he'd watched Edward carry her out of the house, the boy's face grim, as his father had guided him toward the door, one hand on his shoulder. Bella had been curled up in his arms, her face hidden in his neck…and Carlisle had told him quietly that these attacks always made her sick and tended to exhaust her.

The doctor had assured him that they were doing their best…that his whole family was helping to take care of her, although Charlie couldn't believe that this was the same daughter that had cooked and cleaned and taken over the household chores as soon as she'd moved in. 'She never needed me…if anything, she thought I needed to be taken care of. And now she's letting these people take care of her?' He couldn't understand…why she would allow it from them and not himself….her own father.

"I'm sorry Charlie…we'll bring her back over in a few days if she feels up to it. She had a hard morning…she'll feel better in a couple of days." Carlisle's words had obviously been meant to comfort him, but it only felt like another blow.

'I'm her father. I'm supposed to be the one comforting her…I'm supposed to be the one who makes her feel safe when she's upset.' He sighed once more, shaking his head and standing, heading into the kitchen, pulling out a box of pasta. 'Maybe next time she comes over, I can offer her something to eat…about time I learned to actually cook.'

Edward's hand was on my lower back, the other holding my head close to his face as he kissed me. Sitting on his lap, I wrapped my arms around him, wondering if we could just stay like this all day. Carlie was still sound asleep, her paws twitching as though she were running, and there was no one else around for miles…Edward would have heard them. 'We're totally alone.' I thought, smiling against his mouth. 'Totally alone. No one can hear us.' I shifted on his lap, a thrill shooting up my spine when he groaned, his lips pausing on my cheek, then moved to my neck. 'Why can't it always be like this?' I wondered, slipping my hand into his hair, the other resting on his arm.

"I love you." He murmured against my ear, moving to cup my face in his hands. "I love you so much." I wrapped my arms around him then, kissing his lips once more.

"I love you too."

"You know you can talk to me." He whispered, placing his forehead against mine. "About anything. No matter what."

"I don't want to talk." I told him simply, moving to kiss him again. He chucked, putting his hands on the back of my head.

"Maybe some other time." He ginned a little against my lips, stroking my back once more, his hand dipping to rest on my hip.

A low whine caught my attention after a few minutes, then squeaked when something licked my face. Startled, I turned to find Carlie on her back legs, paws against my arms, and her nose right against mine. Obviously tired of being ignored, she barked, licking Edward's face and worming her way between us. He laughed loudly, rubbing her head. "Didn't think I'd have to compete with the dog." I teased, rolling my eyes, and suddenly Carlie was on the ground once more and Edward's lips were firmly against mine.

"Never." He mumbled with a laugh. "No one can compete with you."

"Even if I'm crazy?" I asked softly, pulling away a little. His gaze grew solemn and gentle and he cupped my cheek.

"No one can ever compete with you. No matter what." He kissed me gently, then moved to my forehead. "And you're not crazy."

"But if I were…" He paused, obviously hearing the terror in my voice, and held me closer, rolling over so that I was on the blanket beside him, his hand on my cheek.

"No one can ever compete with you." He spoke fiercely this time. "No one. I don't care if you're crazy…" He swore, kissing my forehead. "Carlisle thinks you have an anxiety disorder." He told me quietly. "After everything that's happened, it's not really that surprising. We're going to help you until you're changed…and then…well we're going to figure it out after that. I love you, Bella. More than you could ever know. And I'm here for you. Forever." He kissed me again, holding me close.

"I'm scared, Edward." I whispered, resting my head against his chest.

"I won't let anything happen to you, love." He held me tighter, his arms shielding me. "I'm never going to leave you. I promise, Bella. You don't have to be afraid."

"I hate this. I hate panicking every time something bad happens, or I think something bad might happen…"

"We're going to help you, love." He whispered, rocking me back and forth and laughing softly when the puppy wormed her way between us. "I promise you, Bella. We're going to get you help." He must have felt me stiffen because he rubbed my back, trying to calm me. "You won't have to do anything you won't want to do." He promised. "Whatever treatments Carlisle is thinking about, he will speak to you first." I nodded, resting my head on his arm and closing my eyes. I didn't want to think about it. I was afraid to think about it. I just had to wonder, would I spend the rest of my human life feeling like this…afraid to even think about bad things. Where was all the strength I thought I had?

Edward pulled me to my feet, handing me Carlie's leash. "Are you ready to go home? You must be hungry." I hesitated. As soon as we got home, I had to face everything again. "No one is going to interrogate you, love. You'll be fine. I'll be right there…and I'm sure Jasper and Alice are dying to see you." He smiled a little, keeping my hand and giving it a gentle tug. "Would you like to walk part of the way?" I nodded, needing something to focus on, and Carlie trotted happily at our side, her nose to the ground most of the time.

Suddenly there was a loud crash echoing through the woods, and I was against a tree, Carlie in my arms, and Edward was standing protectively in front of me before I'd even realized we'd moved. Then he sighed, standing up straight once more, and shaking his head. "Idiots." He murmured with a sigh. "Come on, love." He took my hand, smiling at my confused frown. "We have some visitors." Suddenly Emmett crashed through the trees, calling out a hello before grabbing a branch and pulling himself into a tree, and I turned in surprise when Jasper appeared on his heels, leaping after Emmett and catching his leg, slamming Emmett down onto the ground. Edward chuckled, crossing his arms and pulling me to his side as Jasper pinned Emmett to the ground, his teeth bared. Emmett snarled, freezing when Jasper put his teeth by his throat.

"Fine." Emmett snapped, crossing his arms. "You win. Now get off me." Jasper went from terrifying to my big brother in a millisecond, laughing and jumping to his feet, offering Emmett a hand that he ignored. Shaking his head and laughing, Jasper turned to me, opening his arms and holding me when I stepped into them.

"Sorry, darlin. I've bee chasing him for two hours. Finally got him." I laughed, wrapping my arms around him. I'd missed Jasper…even if it had only been a day. "You okay?" He mumbled, kissing my head. I nodded, hoping he wouldn't call me out on my lie. "You guys heading home?" He asked, keeping his arms around me. I felt the calm bleeding through his hug and relaxed against them, my eyes slipping shut. He chuckled, apologizing softly and his arm went under my arm to hold me up for a second. He said something to Edward, his voice too soft to hear, and then the calm was detracted a little.

"We were on our way." Edward told him with a grin. "But it seems you couldn't wait to see us." Jasper laughed, releasing me to Emmett who had jumped to his feet. My giant older brother pulled me into his arms, lifting me a little, but his usual exuberance seemed subdued.

"Love you, Bella." He mumbled, holding me close.

"Love you, Emmett." I spoke against his shoulder, my hands gripping his shirt.

Emmett pulled away a bit, keeping an arm around me. "Well, we'd better get back before Esme worries."

"She's probably already worried." Edward scolded. "The two of you have been at this for two hours?"

"She knows we'll be fine. Alice is with her." Edward shook his head, holding out a hand to me, and pulled me onto his back. Jasper reached down and lifted Carlie into his arms, chuckling when she immediately went for his face, then curled up in his arms, content to be held as long as she was getting attention. I locked my arms around his neck and closed my eyes, resting my head on his shoulder. I felt like I always did after panic attacks and days like this…wrung out. I heard Emmett mumble something, and felt Edward answer, but I wasn't really paying attention. The wind did little to penetrate the warm jacket wrapped around me, and I could have fallen asleep I was so comfortable on his back, but we reached the house after only a minute, and Edward was crouching down a little, letting me slide off his back, then took my hand once more. Jasper put Carlie on the ground where she bounded off to the house, scratching at the door, then trotted inside when Carlisle opened the door for her.

The three of us followed, Jasper going to Alice, kissing her quickly and sitting beside her on the long sofa and Emmett hurrying over to Esme, mumbling something and kissing her cheek and grinning when she laughing and swatted him away. Rosalie caught his arm, greeting him with her arms around his neck, and then they sat on the opposite end of the couch, Rosalie pulling out a laptop and booting it up.

I slipped away from Edward, heading to the bathroom, and, after using the bathroom and washing my hands, dropped onto the edge of the tub. Placing my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands, I took a deep breath, then another. 'I'm fine.' I told myself firmly. 'Everything is okay.' And then I realized what I was doing. The same thing that had gotten me into so much trouble. Everything that worried me…everything that scared me, I was shoving it down, trying not to think about it. 'But if I think about it…I'll just panic.' I bit my lip, then stopped myself, remembering Carlisle's hand on my cheek, the way he would hold me, calming me down. He didn't like it when I did that…when I did anything harmful to myself. 'He can help me.' I told myself. 'He's going to help me…he's a doctor. He'll know what to do.'

Taking another deep breath, I stood; gripping the sink for a moment, then opened the door, nearly tripping over Carlie who'd been laying outside the door. Laughing, I knelt down, pulling her into my arms and burying my nose into her side. Her muzzle, wet from her water bowl, brushed against my face as she licked at my ear, then nuzzled into my shoulder. I wiped my face with a grin, keeping one arm firmly around her, and carried her back into the living room where I sat between Edward and Carlisle, turning my attention to the TV where they were all watching a baseball game. Tucking my legs beneath me, I leaned on Edward's shoulder, smiling gratefully when Carlisle draped a blanket over me and Esme brought out a salad for me to eat.

Esme glanced over at her youngest daughter from her husband's other side. She was wrapped in a blanket, her head on Edward's shoulder, slowly eating her salad. After the panic attack, Esme assumed that the girl wouldn't be up for eating much. Edward's arm was tucked around her, his hand gently rubbing up and down her arm. Turning his face, he kissed her forehead, smiling down at her for a moment, then looked back over at the TV. Carlie sat in her lap, and her hand was resting on the dog's back. Esme felt a wave of satisfaction and happiness, ignoring Jasper's glance. She loved her son…had loved him since she'd met him. And she'd always worried about him…worried that being changed so young had affected him…especially after he'd felt nothing but brotherly affection toward the beautiful Rosalie…and that only after he'd gotten over his initial distaste and irritation. Of course, he'd never been rude to the girl…her son was a perfect gentleman. But Esme could tell that Rosalie annoyed him…it had gotten better after she'd found Emmett. He liked Emmett, and the burly young man had helped take the edge off of Rosalie's violent temper and snobbish ways.

So now, to see her brooding, moody son so absolutely happy…she was thrilled. And to make things even better, Esme loved Bella…truly loved her. Bella fit easily with their family, slipping into her role of little sister to her other children and daughter to both herself and Carlisle as soon as she was invited in. And that was the thing…they were all so happy to have her, and she flourished under it. So Esme hoped that this would make things better for Bella, now that they were all there for her, an established, loving family ready to offer whatever help she needed….she realized that she still had to tell Edward…

As always, her son glanced over when she thought his name. She knew he was always monitoring their thoughts, even if he didn't mean to. 'Carlisle has to work tomorrow…48 hour shift, starting at 5am…he'll be gone before she wakes up. I want the rest of you to go out for a while…I want to try something with Bella.'

"You spoke to Carlisle." Carlisle glanced over at his son's quiet words…too quiet for Bella to even feel him saw with her head against his chest.

'Yes.' The others were looking at them now, but she'd speak to them later when Bella was asleep. 'I thought she might like to spend the day together. I might take her out, but we'll be home early.' He nodded a little and she knew that he hated being away from Bella. 'It'll be good for her, Edward.' He sighed a little, leaning down and kissing her head again.

Carlisle stood then, catching Esme's hand as she did as well. He touched Bella's arm, smiling at her, then headed upstairs, Esme at his side. She wasn't sure what he wanted, but she needed to talk to him anyway. "I'll leave at 5, and the others can probably leave then as well. Edward will explain everything to her tonight." He sat down on the sofa in his office, and she sat on his lip, leaning her head on his shoulder and kissing his jaw. He smiled, obviously distracted, and kissed her quickly. "What did you have in mind?"

"I'd like to get her to talk…but if she can't, then we'll just spend time together. She needs some more books. I need to work in the green house…she'll have a nice day. I hope…" He smiled, resting one hand on her knee.

"I'm sure she will. Bring her by the hospital for lunch…I'll meet you at the café across the street."

"You'll miss her." She smiled, leaning forward and kissing him once more.

"I'll miss both of you…I can still tell the chief I can't do a 48 hour shift right now…" She shook her head.

"I'll see you around noon. Bella usually doesn't sleep past nine, so we'll get an early start." She trailed off when he kissed her again, wrapping her arms around his neck. Their conversation could wait.


	31. Chapter 31

The cold arms that had been wrapped around me withdrew carefully, and I woke suddenly, rolling over and trying to find the familiar arms again. "Shh, sleep, love." He encouraged me softly, stroking my hair. "I'll be back later this evening, remember?" I mumbled incoherently, too tired to make my mouth and brain cooperate. The bedroom door opened and Carlisle's soft voice reached me.

"Is she awake?"

"Mhm." He chuckled when I mumbled at him.

"I'll see you soon, sweetheart. I've got to go to work." He kissed my hair and I reached out, wrapping my arms around him. Edward had already explained to me that I was going to spend the day with Esme while the rest of them went out, although he hadn't been very specific when telling me what exactly they were all going to do. "I love you, Bella. Have fun today."

"You too." I mumbled, glad he could understand what exactly I meant by that. He laughed softly, tucking the blankets around me, then left. Edward cupped my cheek in his palm, kissing my lips gently.

"I love you Bella. If you need me, call me, alright? I'll be right home." He promised, smiling against my mouth when I kissed him again. "Have fun with Esme." He kissed me one last time, then, like Carlisle, tucked the blankets around me and made sure I was comfortable, leaving behind his father. I was aware of Jasper and Emmett saying goodbye, ruffling my hair and kissing my forehead, but by the time Alice and Rosalie came in to say goodbye, I was already asleep again.

I woke to sunlight streaming through my window, though it was rather dim, promising to be another cloudy day. Esme entered the room as I was dozing, sitting on the bed beside me and resting a hand on my shoulder. "Good morning, sweetheart. Did you sleep well?"

"Mhm." I kept my eyes closed, making her laugh softly, and I realized that my own mother had never, to my knowledge, done this…sitting at my bedside, letting me rest, gently waking me. "It's bright." I mumbled. She stroked my hair, pulling a strand back behind my ear.

"Yes…Edward really should get some curtains…it must be hard for you to sleep in with it so bright in here." I scooted over when she lay back beside me, my head naturally going to her shoulder when she wrapped her arm around me. "Are you about ready to get up? Or would you like to rest some more? I can make you something for breakfast." I started to tell her that I wasn't really all that hungry, but I had a feeling that it wouldn't go over well, so I gave in easily, agreeing to having some breakfast. She must have known that my stomach was feeling a bit sick, because she only suggested toast, something I was grateful for. She led me down the stairs, still in my pajamas, and sat a plate of toast in front of me on the counter. Bustling around the kitchen, she let me eat in peace. I nibbled at the food, trying to ignore my stomach's protest, but she noticed, sitting beside me. "Why don't you try to eat a little later? Give your stomach a chance to settle." She handed me a glass of what turned out to be flat sprite and smiled at my strange look.

"Carlisle told me it might help settle your stomach." I smiled gratefully at her, taking a sip, and was surprised to find, after a minute, that it did help, although the toast didn't look any more appealing. She took my plate, ignoring my protest that I could wash up, finishing before I could even complete my sentence. "Why don't you go ahead and get dressed, Bella?" She smiled at me, stepping over to the stool where I sat and kissing my hair. "We have a lot to do today."

When I came back downstairs in jeans and a sweater, I was a little surprised when she directed me to put on a jacket and my shoes, then led me out the back door. It was an overcast day, the clouds stretching across the sky and hiding the sun, although it would peek through occasionally, lighting up her skin and making it sparkle in the sun. The back door led us to the deck by her garden, full of spring flowers and shrubs. Spring crocuses bloomed on the edges, adding splashes of yellow and purple around the greenery.

She paused when I did, smiling at the look on my face. "Everywhere we go the first thing I do is start on my garden." She stepped over to where I stood, placing an arm around me. "I love flowers…and the butterflies and the hummingbirds. The boys help, pulling weeds and watering when I'm too busy…and I can always tell when one of them has done something wrong and is feeling guilty…they'll put a vase of my favorite flowers on the kitchen table, in our bedroom…" I laughed softly, still surprised when I realized how normal of a family they were in some respects, even after living with them. I could easily imagine Emmett or Jasper…even Edward, going overboard to fill the house with flowers just to make things up to their beloved mother. "And they've been known to pick a few for the girls as well." She smiled softly then, placing a hand on my upper back and gesturing with her chin when two hummingbirds fluttered around the plants on the far side of the garden. "I put out feeders for them in the summer. But we sometimes see them early, depending on where we live. Birds are less wary of us than other animals...I never have to worry about rabbits."

The air was full of the scent of flowers as the wind blew toward us, and I took a deep breath, smelling the unique scent of Esme along with the flowers and the trees. "It's getting warmer." The sun, when it managed to find me, felt wonderful against my skin, and I knew that it wouldn't be long before I would no longer need a jacket.

"Do you ever miss Arizona?" Esme wondered, leading me past the garden on a little stone path flanked by trees and bushes where I'd never really ventured…then again, most days it was too cold to do much exploring outside.

"I miss the heat." I admitted. "It's always too cold here…" The fact that I would no longer worry about the cold soon wasn't something I really wanted to dwell on at the moment, but she seemed to catch my hesitation.

"I suppose you already know it won't be a problem for much longer." Her smile was faint, and she spoke carefully. "The cold…it doesn't bother us at all…"

"Does the heat?" I forced myself to use an even tone. I wanted this.

"No. Nothing short of fire will be uncomfortable for us. We are flammable, however, so there are times we must be careful. Once Emmett got the brilliant idea to have a campfire in the living room." She laughed at my incredulous look. "He was given the privilege of rebuilding the house…alone. He did learn quite a bit about carpentry…" She laughed softly. "Of course I was more worried about him…it scared me to death when Carlisle and I arrived to find our house burnt to the ground…" She sighed. "For a moment, I thought I'd lost one of them. Then when he came out of the woods…obviously worried about our reaction…well then I was able to find it in myself to get angry." The path wound through the woods then, and it was impossible to see where we were going. I laughed, able to imagine how upset she would have been. She puled my arm through her own, holding my hand against her elbow as she led me through the forest at a leisurely pace. "Have you ever done any gardening?" She wondered.

"Um…not really. We didn't have one in Arizona…I mean, I had a cactus….but it didn't take much care." She laughed softly.

"You still have one…in your window at home?" I smiled, suddenly remembering the little cactus I'd brought from home.

"Yeah…I brought it to remind me of home. I think Charlie's taking care of it." She nodded with a smile. "Have you always liked to garden?" She looked thoughtful for a moment.

"All of this life, yes. Carlisle has always saved his money, and wherever we went, he would make sure I had plenty of space to garden. Before…well I know I had a garden, but I can't remember if I enjoyed it or not…maybe we just needed the food?" She shrugged, turning down another path and to a structure I vaguely recognized as a greenhouse in the middle of a small clearing. "And, since we mostly live in cold places…" she gestured toward the greenhouse with a smile and pulled me forward.

The first thing we did was open the doors. "I usually leave the doors open during the day…that way some air is able to move through the building. Then at night I close them so some of the heat is retained." The inside was initially several degrees warmer that the outside and was, much to my surprise, filled to the brim with tomato plants, colorful peppers hanging from vines, cucumbers, lettuce, spinach, and even a few strawberry plants. I stood in the doorway, staring at all of the delicious looking fruits and vegetables in awe. .

"You…you don't even eat!" She laughed at my incredulous tone, moving past me to pick up a watering can.

"No…but it helps us keep the kitchen stocked for appearances and guests though, and I take a lot of it to homeless shelters or soup kitchens. They always appreciate the donations." She moved back toward me, holding out the can. "If you follow this path for a few minutes…" She hesitated, then smiled. "I was wondering if she would join us." I turned to find my dog, previously asleep on the sofa after Edward left, presumably so Esme could let her out without waking me, trotting down the path toward us. "I guess she likes the doggie door Jasper put in for her." I knelt down, placing the watering can on the floor and rubbing her head lovingly. "Anyway, if you follow this path, it will take you to the stream. Would you mind filling this up with water? I need to transfer some of the strawberries." I nodded. Of course, I knew she could have it all done in seconds, but she seemed to want to do this at a human pace, and it had the added bonus of allowing me to join in and help.

"Come on, Carlie."

"If you need help catching her, just call. I didn't think to bring a leash for her." I nodded, patting my leg and smiling when the dog, torn between myself and Esme, came along with me, trotting at my side or running ahead, barking excitedly when she caught sight of a squirrel. I laughed, following the strange path until I turned a corner, coming to a field with the familiar stream that curved and wound around the Cullen property. I walked over to the edge, keeping an eye on the little dog, and knelt by the edge, dipping the can into the cold water, then looked around as it filled quickly. It was nice, having time to myself…truly to myself. Of course, I loved my family, both old and new, and spending time with them was always wonderful. And if I wanted to be alone, I could just go into my study and shut the door. But there was always some guilt involved when I shut them all out…so now, being outside, alone with Carlie, with the security of knowing that Esme would be there in a second if I called…it was surprisingly comforting. I reached out, stroking Carlie's head, and grinned when she rolled over, letting me scratch her stomach.

"Good girl." I cooed, pushing gently and laughing when she leapt to her feet, barking, and crouched on her front paws eagerly, leaping around in an obvious attempt to get me to play. I laughed aloud, reaching out and pushing her gently, then pulled away, falling on my back and letting her climb on top of me triumphantly, licking my face and arms. Giggling, I wrapped my arms around the puppy, kissing her nose, and then sat up, holding her in my arms. "Whose the sweetest puppy? Hm? Good girl." I kissed her nose again, cuddling her close to my chest. "Ready to go back?" I placed her back on the ground, then lifted the watering can.

It didn't seem to bother Esme that I'd been gone for longer than I should have been to get water, and I was surprised at how liberating it felt to be treated like a normal person…like someone who wasn't going to break down at any moment. But I knew the minute I needed her, she would be there…until then, we worked together in a comfortable almost silence, the only speaking my questions or her instructions on watering the plants. We spent the morning outside, me watering the plants, making trips to the stream twice more, and her transferring the plants to larger containers and pruning away the dead leaves and limbs, then helping me water. It was nearly one o'clock when we finished, and she apologized, looking in surprise at the sun. "I forget, sometimes, especially since I don't have to eat." She told me a little sheepishly. "Edward usually reminds me." She admitted, taking the can from me and placing it under a table while I wiped my forehead, surprise that I'd worked up a sweat walking back and forth and carrying around the heavy can. "He's surprisingly good at keeping track of when you need to eat." She waited for me to pull my jacket, which I'd abandoned about an hour ago, back on, then we headed outside.

"Do you do this every day?"

"Oh no. Most of the plants only need to be watered about twice a week, a few need it more, some less. But I open the doors every day, and closet them every night. On windy days I just prop them open a little so air can get through." She reached down and rubbed Carlie's back, laughing at the energetic little dog that would race ahead of us, then return, barking excitedly, then repeating the process. "You can help me from now on, if you like. You know, Carlie needs plenty of exercise." She smiled at the dog's antics. "To burn off some of that energy. You can bring her out here…" I looked over at her in surprise and she paused, touching my hand. "Bella, I don't want you to feel like a prisoner in our home…you would be perfectly safe on our property…any of us can hear you if you need us…all you have to do is call." She continued walking, once more taking my hand, and I walked with her, trying to remain steady on my feet. She helped me, supporting me and catching me any time I stumbled. "It isn't healthy for you to stay cooped up all the time…" She glanced at me. "I just want you to know that we're here for you, no matter what, but we also understand that you have your own life to live. You don't have to be afraid." She touched my cheek, smiling at me gently, then opened her arms when I leaned forward, resting my head on her shoulder, and her hands rubbed my back.

"Thank you." I told her softly.

"Of course." She sounded taken aback, and I shook my head.

"No. Really. Thank you, Esme." I pulled back a little, needing her to know how much this meant to me…I knew what she was doing….understood completely what this day meant to her, and was meant to accomplish. "I love you." Her smile softened, and she leaned forward, kissing my forehead.

"I love you too, sweetheart." She took my hand once more. "Come. Let's get back to the house and get cleaned up. We have places to go." She led me forward, and we followed Carlie back to the house.

After cleaning up, running a brush through my hair, and changing out of my dirty clothes, I met Esme downstairs where we jumped in the car, making sure to lock the doggie door so she wouldn't get out. Turning out of the driveway, Esme headed into town. "How's Charlie?" She asked casually, keeping her eyes on the road.

"Um…he's okay." I remembered the last time I'd seen him…the panic attack, the worry I'd surely caused him…

"I'm sure he understands, Bella. You're still recovering."

"I just…didn't want him to have to see that."

"Bella, it's nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. Your father understands. We all do."

"But I don't…" I cut off, lowering my voice. I didn't want to snap at Esme. "I hate this. I hate that he has to understand…"

"I know, sweetheart." She sighed. "But Bella, this is something you have to face." She took my hand as if to soften the words. "You have an anxiety disorder, and you can learn to live with it…there are so many things you can do, therapies, exercise…but you can't hide from it. Ignoring it will not make this go away." I bit my lip, although I should have known that she would catch on. Esme was the most perceptive person I'd ever met, next to Carlisle. "I know you're scared." She rubbed her thumb over the back of my hand, speaking quietly in the car. "I do, Bella. I understand. And it's good to be aware of what could happen, but you will not be in any danger with us. We are going to get you through this."

I sat back against the seat, looking down at my lap. Is that what I was doing? Was I hiding? Letting this keep me from trying to live my life? Of course I couldn't go back to school…because of Lauren. But I was safe at home, with my family, with Charlie…I was safe. Of course, that didn't mean anything in the middle of a panic attack, but if I could just remember…if I could just…learn to fight the feeling of panic that seemed to overtake me at a moment's notice….was it even possible?

I looked up when we stopped, surprised to see that we were at a café. After a morning of gardening and carrying the heavy watering can, I was hungry, but I'd sort of expected a take out bag and a to-go coke, not an actual sit-down café. "Ready?" Esme was outside my door, opening it for me and holding out a hand. I nodded, taking her hand with a quiet 'thanks' and heading into the café with her. It was across from the hospital, a small, privately owned coffee shop that I'd never visited, mostly because I rarely came to this part of town, apart from when I went to hospital itself. The door dinged softly, and Esme led me to the counter, gesturing for me to read the menu, and pulling out her wallet, making it clear that she was going to pay. I ordered a bowl of soup and, after getting two drinks, one for Esme just to keep up appearances, we headed for the dining room, Esme leading us to the back hallway that was filled with booths.

In the back, at table with a long circular bench wrapped around half of it, sat a blonde man in a lab coat that I knew I recognized. At another booth, a couple, probably visitors from the hospital, as I didn't recognize them from around town, were staring at him as he flipped through a thick book, an untouched coffee sitting in front of him. He looked up when we approached, standing fluidly, and I forgot about the couple when he took my plate, setting it gently on the table, then pulling me into his arms. "Carlisle! What are you doing here?' I asked, my voice just quiet enough to be considered appropriate for the small café, and he grinned, kissing my hair.

"I just thought I'd come by…get some coffee." His eyes danced with humor when I couldn't contradict him in public, so I just hugged him tightly. I'd seen him just this morning, but I knew he would be working a 48 hour shift, so I hadn't been expecting to see him again. He ushered me into the seat, gesturing for me to scoot over as soon as he'd greeted Esme, then sat beside me, his arm around my shoulders. Esme, to my surprise, sat on my other side while I ate. "So what did you do this morning?" He asked me, and I suddenly realized why this felt so strange…to my knowledge, I'd never been taken out by both of my parents...I'd never sat with my mother and father, or even my mother and Phil, and had them ask me how I was…had them show genuine interest in my life. So now…the fact that my adoptive, vampire mother and father, who didn't even eat, were, once again, taking time out of their day, just trying to spend time with me.

'When will I realize…they care about me…so much. They honestly love me, and they will do anything to help me. So why can't I remember that? They are my family.' Snapping out of my daze when I realized that Carlisle was still waiting for his answer, I told him about the garden, the greenhouse…about watering the plants and playing with Carlisle. Throughout it all, he remained completely absorbed, going so far as to ask questions, chuckling when I told him about Carlie. 'When will it stop surprising me that he cares about me? That he is genuinely interested in my life.'

Esme, probably noticing my mood, took over the conversation, but kept me involved, discussing her greenhouse and the move, what house they were thinking about moving to, and they took turns telling me about the different properties they owned around the world. "If the talk with Sam doesn't go well, we've thought about moving abroad. What do you think about Ireland?"

"Or England. I haven't been in a while." Carlisle put in with a smile. "I'm sure it's changed a bit." I giggled, nodding.

"Probably…just a bit." Then I was sober. "And Charlie?"

"We will have to be careful…but we will resolve things with him before we leave." He promised. "And of course we can let him visit…we have more than enough money for a few plane tickets. Do you think Charlie would like to travel?" I leaned my head against his shoulder and nodded, too overwhelmed to speak. It seemed to hit me anew, exactly how much they cared about me, a plain, obviously troubled human girl that their son brought home one day. He wrapped his arms around me briefly, kissing my head. "We'll make this work, sweetheart. I promise." And with my whole heart, I believed him.

'She's letting us in.' Esme smiled at the table, feeling a wave of relief. She'd wondered, at first, if this was the best idea…having the girl outside by herself, watering plants…but she'd seen the shift in the girl as she'd started to relax, focusing on something other than her own thoughts. And taking her out…that had certainly gone over well. Bella was always happy to see Carlisle, and spending lunch with her father was a good balance to a day spent only with herself. Carlisle smiled at her over Bella's head as the girl finished her soup. They couldn't read minds or emotions like their sons, but they could read each other, and she knew he was as pleased with Bella's progress as she was.

The girl was like her old self…only more comfortable with them. Bella's relationship with Edward had blossomed quickly, her friendship with Alice had been almost immediate. Jasper had taken time, as had Rosalie, while Emmett was able to make anyone comfortable when he was so inclined. But she had always been hesitant and shy with them, even when her love for them had been obvious. Bella wasn't comfortable with parental figures in her life…so to see her comfortable now…it seemed as though their efforts were paying off. She seemed happy…just happy. Maybe a little embarrassed, as she always was when she was the center of anyone's attention. But overall, it seemed this was working.

After she finished eating, Esme stood, letting her take her dishes to the trash. "So it's going well?" Carlisle confirmed. Esme took his hand.

"Yes, she seems fine. I just hope she continues to be okay…." He nodded.

"Getting her outside and moving around seems to work well. We'll continue with that and see how it goes…and you're taking her shopping, right?" She glanced up when Bella approached the table, lowering her voice.

"Yes, to the bookstore. She needs some new books." Esme stood once more when Bella approached the table, letting Carlisle take her hand, and the three of them headed outside.

"I'd better get back to work. I'll see you tomorrow evening, Bella." Her husband kissed their daughter's forehead, holding her close for a moment, then turned to Esme, kissing her softly on the lips. "I love you. I'll see you tomorrow."  
"I love you." She reached up, touching his face. "I'll miss you."

"And I'll miss you." He kissed her once more, then turned, heading across the street to return to the hospital. Esme took Bella's hand, leading her back to the car, and they headed for the bookstore.

Bella seemed surprised that Esme was taking her somewhere else, which confused the woman. 'She knew we were spending the day together…I thought going to the bookstore would be the obvious choice.' Bella stopped in the doorway to the large bookstore, looking around in silent surprise, and Esme took her hand. "Is this alright? I know we don't have many books that you enjoy…I thought we could find you some today." Bella smiled then.

"Of course…thank you. You really don't have to…" She trailed off, resigned at Esme's scolding look, and smiled. "Thank you." Esme leaned over, kissing her cheek.

"It's not a problem at all. Get whatever you'd like. I'll be over here." She gestured toward the front of the bookstore where tables were sat up next to a small coffee shop. "Take as long as you like." Bella started to wander off hesitantly, glancing back at Esme's encouraging smile, then headed off toward the escalator, leaving Esme to browse the books near the entrance, most best sellers and new books. She picked up one about a shopaholic, grinning as she thought of Alice, and sat at one of the tables, keeping an ear out for Bella. She could easily pick out the girl's heartbeat in the store, even among all the people in the large bookstore.

Occasionally a human would wander over near her, browsing the small shelves beside the coffee shop, and she sighed, wishing her control was as developed as her husband's. The scent of their blood, of Bella's blood, made her throat burn uncomfortably, even if she wasn't thirsty, and she tired to focus on her book once more. She never regretted her husband's decision to change her…couldn't have been more grateful at this second change at life with a wonderful man that was her soul mate, her children that she loved more than anything…all the time and money and freedom she could ever want. But it was still difficult…being near humans. 'Well, I suppose you can't have everything.' She scolded herself silently. After checking Bella's heart rate, which seemed fine, she went back to the book, trying to ignore the humans nearby.

I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. Would she think I was greedy if I wanted to buy more than one book? Or two? How many was she thinking? Or was I supposed to ask? I had no idea. I stood amongst the young adult books, flipping through romance and best sellers and tried to figure it out. "Bella?" I turned in surprise at Esme's voice. She was holding a book and looked perfectly at east. "Have you found some books?" She asked, looking at the two in my hands. "That's all?"

"Um…" She smiled serenely, stepped forward and gently taking them from me.

"I'll hold those for you if you'd like, and let you keep looking."

"Um…that's all…I mean, two are enough." She shook her head with a smile.

"Really? Well, just in case, why don't you find, say, three more? The library at home is mostly full of Jasper and Edward's books, and Carlisle's medical books, so we need some good modern novels." She turned to the bookshelf, browsing through the section in front of me, and I joined her with a soft smile, glad she was here with me and knew how to put me at ease.

We spent at least two hours at the bookstore, browsing and finding books to buy. Esme ended up with ten, much to my surprise, while I stopped at six. The drive home was short, and she carried the bags of books in easily, her arm still linked through mine. I'd never done anything like this with my mother…just spent all day together, shopping or eating out. She tended to spend her time with Phil after she married him, or at work…or just out alone. But Esme had centered the day around me, having me join her in her activities, teaching me about her garden…and then she led me into a small room off the living room that I'd assumed was someone's private study or a storage room, but it resembled a small sitting room.

"This is my study, although I rarely use it for more than a storage room. Here." She shut the door behind me, allowing Carlie to slip through first. "Sit down. I wanted to show you something." I sat, focusing all of my attention on keeping Carlie from jumping up on the sofa beside me. "Don't worry about her. She gets on all the other furniture." She laughed.

"I'm sorry…spoiled brat." I pulled her into my lap, hoping she wouldn't shed on the sofa, and Esme sat beside me with a smile, handing me a hoop with white fabric stretched inside. I'd seen these before…my grandmother had them hanging up in her house. But this fabric looked different.

"I don't remember much from my childhood, but my mother loved to sew, and she taught me to embroider…I can remember that much. Of course in my day, most girls knew how to sew, and I taught Alice. Rosalie never showed much interest, but I thought maybe you would like to learn." She offered me a blunt needle with a soft smile, and I took it hesitantly. "Alice learned on handkerchiefs, most of which went to Carlisle, although she gave a few to Edward and Jasper, one or two to Emmett…although he's lost a few to the local grizzlies." I laughed, able to imagine him forgetting about his clothes while he was busy playing with his food. Anything Esme wanted to teach me, I was happy to try and learn, so I watched as she demonstrated on another hoop, going off a simple flower pattern that would decorate a single corner in purple thread. Her hands fit over mine as I moved the needle through the fabric, my entire being focused on making the little stitches look like hers, and the pattern look like the flowers on her sample. Of course, by the time I was done, it looked more like a series of circles and lines, but Esme only smiled at me proudly, surprising me.

"It's your first try." She reassured me. "The first time I tried, I'm pretty sure I ripped the fabric in half and broke my needle." She kissed my cheek. "You did very well." She helped me remove the hoop, showing me how to tie off the thread and put everything away. "Maybe we can try again tomorrow."

It was four o'clock when she offered me an apple and a glass of water, suggesting we work on my homework. Most of it was easy, and I sat at the kitchen table beside her while she read one of hew new books, only asking questions occasionally. I was mostly caught up, although I had some reading to do, and she checked over the math problems and science essays as I flipped through Frankenstein and glanced at the study questions. "All of this is well done." She praised me, placing the papers in neat stacks. "The tests will come in…probably in three weeks…sooner than if you were attending school. I think you're nearly ready, we'll just need to do some review. How is your Spanish?" I winched and she laughed. "Edward will help you. His accent is the best…although Emmett does pretty well. They've all taken it so many times by now, they can do the basics nearly perfectly."

"Do you study languages?" I asked, placing my book on the table. I was nearly caught up on my reading anyway.

"Sometimes, although not as often as the others. My Spanish and Italian are very good, my German and French, passable. But my Chinese is horrible. Alice does the best with Asian languages…her Korean in particular…" She smiled, as though remembering a private joke, then turned back to me. "If you're about finished, would you mind going out and closing the greenhouse doors? It's getting late, and I don't want the temperature to drop too much."

I nodded, taking the leash she handed me, and attaching it to Carlie's harness. The little dog squirmed excitedly as I fitted the harness over her head and legs, then strained at the end, eager to go outside once more. We stepped out the back door into the cool evening air, me pulling my jacket tighter around my arms and zipping it up. It may be warmer, but this was still Forks. It wouldn't actually be warm until the middle of the summer. Carlie led the way to the little path, which I followed to the greenhouse, pushing the doors closed, then passed, taking a deep breath of the night air.

As someone who'd grown up as an only child and who had spend the majority of my childhood alone, I'd forgotten how nice it was just to stand outside by myself. Carlie lay down at my feet, her head resting on my shoes, her tail thumping steadily on the ground. Out here, in the beautiful forest, a place where I could be both alone and know that I was completely safe…after a day spent with my mother learning new things and spending time together, I could almost forget my anxieties and worries. Maybe not completely…but somewhat. I had books to read and things to learn from Esme…and the others, I was sure. And more than that…she trusted me. She believed that I could go outside, by myself, and not panic. And even if I did, I knew that she would be here in an instant, no judgment, just ready to help. And even if that happened, I didn't think she would want to hover anxiously over me, keeping me inside and watching me every second.

Not for a second did I resent the others for keeping an eye on me. I appreciated it, more than I could ever tell them. But this was nice too. It was as though Esme knew I was strong, and treated me accordingly, despite this new anxiety disorder and the trouble I'd been having with panic attacks and anxiety and worrying about everything as I was prone to do. I crouched down, stroking Carlie's head and rubbing her stomach when she rolled over in the dim light, then turned back toward the house. The others would be home soon, and as much as I liked being alone, I missed them. So I headed back, ready to spend the evening with my family, and feeling better than I had in weeks.


	32. Chapter 32

"So it went well?"

"Very well." Carlisle smiled in relief, closing his eyes and leaning back against the far wall of his office. "She had a wonderful time."

"She acted as though she was enjoying herself at the café earlier…you were right." He didn't mind saying the words…his wife was nearly always right, and he was so grateful to have her…someone so much smarter than him in so many ways.

"She seemed to enjoy gardening, and even embroidery. I wasn't sure how she'd take to that, but she was having a good time. But I think the best thing...the thing that helped the most… was letting her be by herself sometimes."

"Leaving her alone?" He asked in concern, surprised at that.

"Bella is an independent person, Carlisle. No matter what happened in her life to make her that way, it's still true. She needs to be given time to herself sometimes…to be allowed to do things on her own. I let her take Carlie to get water at the stream. Then I let her go out and shut the greenhouse doors. I could hear her at all times, and if she needed me, I could have been there immediately. And she knew that…and appreciated the time alone. I think…we've been very careful with her. And we've had to…we're all worried about her." His wife paused for a moment, and he waited for her to gather her thoughts. "But I also think that if we don't show some faith in her…if we don't treat her like we always have…then she won't have any faith in herself."

He sighed. He certainly hadn't meant to send that message, but it was a difficult balance; protecting her and leaving her alone. Showing faith in her and supporting her. "Where is she now?" He wondered, curious as to whether or not she'd gone to bed after such an eventful day.

"On the sofa with Carlie. The dog has been excellent for her." He smiled, perfectly able to imagine Bella on the sofa, her little puppy on her lap, perfectly content. His heart ached to join the little picture in his mind, but he reminded himself that he loved his work, loved helping people and saving lives. He was always at peace at the hospital, always felt like he was putting some of his unlimited time to good use.

"Did you speak to her about what Dr. Robst said?"

"Not yet…I'm going to. I wanted to save that for last…I don't want to make her anxious."

"She doesn't have to do it if she doesn't want to." Carlisle said simply, knowing his wife agreed. "It would do no good to force her." He cautioned.

"No…but a little encouragement won't hurt."

"Carlisle spoke to one of the therapists at the hospital…after you returned from Charlie's" I glanced up at Esme from my seat on the couch, facing her nervously. I knew exactly what she was referring to, and hated the reminder. But her eyes were calm and her tone was casual, so I relaxed a little. "His name is Dr. Robst." She told me quietly.

"What did he say?" She seemed to understand that I was speaking both about the doctor and Carlisle.

"Carlisle asked him for some advice." She spoke frankly. "He doesn't have as much experience with psychology. The field is relatively new, and Carlisle has devoted himself to studying surgical practices and treatments for physical ailments. He told Dr. Robst about your situation…the minimum that was necessary." I nodded. I trusted Carlisle not to give any out any details that I wanted kept a secret. "And Dr. Robst suggested…well some of the things we've been doing. Going outside, playing with Carlie." She spared a fond glace for the little dog in my lap. "Reading...being alone, if you wish. As I told you before, you're safe on our property, and you're always welcome to get away if you need to. The rest of us make use of our land quite often, especially the children, when we need to be alone. It can be hard in the house, especially with all of us here." I nodded, smiling a little. "Dr. Robst also suggested therapy sessions with either himself or another doctor."

Esme reached out when I stiffened, cupping my cheek in her cool hand. "Bell, you know we would never make you something like this if you don't want to. Okay? I only brought it up because I think it would be beneficial and I would ask that you think about it. Anything you would say to a doctor would, of course, be completely confidential. You can complain about us all you like." She teased.

I shook my head, leaning forward against her shoulder. "There's nothing to complain about." I mumbled, winding my arms around her. She hugged me gently, kissing the top of my head.

"I hope you'll consider it…and know that whatever you decide, we're all here for you. If you want, you can talk to us, or Charlie, if you wish. Anyone you want." I nodded a little, not wanting to think about talking about my emotional turmoil to some stranger just yet, and she nodded, sitting back against the sofa and holding me against her side, turning her attention once more to her book.

The little silver flip phone began to chime on the desk, the restricted number showing up on the small window. She picked it up, hesitated, then opened it, placing it against her ear. "Hello?" Angela spoke hesitantly, not recognizing the number.

"Angela? It's Alice Cullen." The familiar chime-like voice washed over her, and she smiled involuntarily.

"Oh. Hey. How are you?" She asked, truly curious. She hadn't seen Bella since the girl had dropped out of school one day and since she no longer lived with her father, Angela had no way to contact her. Once or twice, she'd thought to ask Alice, the only Cullen besides Edward, who had also disappeared, that she wasn't too intimidated to speak to.

"I'm fine." The girl's voice was kind. "I know we didn't really get to say goodbye when we left school…I'm sorry about that."

"No…I mean, I understand that Bella's…well, I understand." She finished sheepishly. She had no idea what Bella's situation was, only that the Cullens, especially Edward's two older brothers, had taken to being her protectors, especially when Edward wasn't around. She'd even heard that the blonde one, Jasper, had switched into her gym class after the school shooting, something she thought was really sweet of him. Of course, she'd never say that aloud…something about the tall blonde was terrifying. But he seemed to care about Bella, and the girl was never nervous around him, so that said something about his character.  
"Actually…I'm calling about Bella." Angela listened, taking a seat on her bed, her face breaking into a soft smile as Alice explained her plan.

I sat on the sofa beside Esme, a thick blanket wrapped around me, and let my head rest on her shoulder. She still had her book in her lap, and flipped through it slowly, obviously reading at a human pace, enjoying the book rather than rushing to the end. I had one of my new books in my lap as well, alongside Carlie's head. The puppy lay curled at my side, her eyes closed as she twitched her paws in her sleep. I'd had a wonderful day, and hoped that I would get to spend more time with Esme. I hadn't seen much of my second mother even since moving in…I felt like I was always with one of my brothers or Edward. But spending time alone with just my mother…it was something I'd never had…something I'd never even really thought about. Of course, there had been days in my childhood when I'd spent time with Renee, when she took me to the grocery with her or to the park to let me play. But this felt completely foreign, and I couldn't imagine ever growing tired of spending time with her.

It had been a long day though, and I'd quickly realized that I couldn't focus on the book, and chose instead to rest my head against her shoulder. She turned and kissed my hair, rubbing my arm with her hand and adjusting the blankets around me. I was exhausted, honestly. We'd been out and doing things all day, and I'd learned how to work in the greenhouse and embroidered for the first time and finished my homework and gone to the bookstore…I'd done more that day than I had in a week. So I closed my eyes, letting myself focus only on her soft breathing and her hand on my arm. It was nearly six o'clock and we were expecting the others back soon. I would be happy to see Edward, and I missed my brothers and sisters.

I wanted to wait for them to come home before I fell asleep, but the next thing I knew someone's lips were pressed against my forehead and someone was pulling me into their arms "Hm?" I tried to make my moth work, but my brain was still trying to sleep, and I felt someone chuckle as I was held against his chest.

"Go ahead and sleep, love."

"I'm awake." I mumbled, opening my eyes and smiling at him. He leaned his head down, pulling me up against his shoulder and kissed me on the mouth, stroking my hair.

"We took too long…I didn't think you'd try to wait up for us. It's nearly twelve o'clock." He spoke apologetically and sat down on the sofa beside Esme, Jasper appearing on our other side. His emotions reached out to me, wrapping me in warmth and comfort, which was his way of saying hello, just like Emmett was prone to lift me into his arms, or Alice kissed my cheek, or how Carlisle placed his hand on my head and held me close.

"Did you have fun today?" Jasper asked softly, and I nodded.

"Mhm." I stretched in Edward's arms, sitting up a little on his lap and leaning against his shoulder. "Did you?"

He smiled, nodding a little. "Yeah. We all played football for a while, and hunted."  
"Rosalie played football?" He grinned at my incredulous tone.

"Well…for a few minutes…" He glanced up, reaching out and ruffling my hair, then moved to let Emmett sit down beside us.

"Then Alice tackled her and got dirt in her hair." I laughed a little with Emmett, my eyes drooping. "Sleep, Bella." He instructed me, leaning over and kissing the top of my head. "See you in the morning." I shivered a little, and Edward stood, carrying me upstairs and I was tucked into a warm bed, his arms winding around me before I drifted off again.

Edward watched the sun as it made its way slowly over the horizon, the light soon filling the room, and he smiled down at Bella when she began to stir, mumbling and tossing on the bed. Carlie, who was curled up in the girl's arms, stretched, wriggling away from her and jumping off the bed, headed straight for the door and scratching at it. He sighed, gently unwinding his own arms from the girl beside him and started to stand, but there was a soft knock on the door and he heard Jasper's thoughts.

'I'll take her out.'

"Thanks." Edward murmured as his brother opened his bedroom door, letting the dog escape toward the little doggie door.

'She's been calm all night.' His brother remarked silently, and Edward smiled.

"Yes…she's slept through the night…no bad dreams." He could feel his brother's happiness and contentment as he followed the dog, watching idly as she sniffed around the yard, making sure she didn't stray too far from the house, and if she did, he would be close behind, ensuring that she didn't get too close to the road.

"What are you guys doing today?" Emmett wondered from his own bedroom and Edward smiled a little.

"I think we'll visit Charlie…and maybe Carlisle. He won't be home until tomorrow morning, and she probably misses him." He listened in on Alice's thoughts then, and grinned, mentally making his own plans for Saturday as Bella would, apparently, be otherwise engaged. His thoughts were interrupted as she rolled over, her eyes fluttering, and face him. He watched, always fascinated by how she woke up, her heart speeding up a little, her breathing shifting, her body shifting and stretching as it prepared to be mobile once more. "Bella?" He asked softly, keeping his hands to himself. He didn't want to jolt her awake because he was cold.

She hummed, a questioning sound, and he continued to wait until she opened her eyes, just a little, squinting at the light, and closed them a little. He chuckled, leaning forward and kissing her forehead. "Day?" He moved a strand of hair from her face, always amused at how quickly she forgot the days when she wasn't in school.

"Wednesday." He told her, keeping his voice soft. She shifted closer, curling up beside him and relaxing once more, obviously trying for more rest. "Would you like to visit Charlie today?" He wondered, rubbing her back. "He'll be home all morning. Things are slow at the station, I believe."

She opened her eyes, looking up at him for a moment, but he'd listened to Esme's mind, heard her thoughts on this subject, and he had to agree. Treating Bella like she would fall apart any minute wouldn't help her heal. He kept his face calm and strictly curious. If he worried that she would have another attack, that she would be in danger of becoming anxious, he kept it locked tightly away, ensuring she would be completely unaware of it. Finally, after staring into his eyes for a long moment, she nodded. "Okay." He leaned forward, kissing her quickly. "We'll go as soon as you've eaten."


	33. Chapter 33

Jacob Black crossed his arms, staring at his wall. Sam had forbidden any contact with Bella Swan or the Cullens, and attempting to disobey a direct order from his alpha, while impossible in his wolf form, was annoyingly difficult in his human one. He wanted to talk to her…her face would pop into his mind, the way she'd pushed away from him, her agonized face when her fist had slammed into his jaw….how she'd snarled at him before driving away from him for the last time. Slowly, he realized his emotions toward her were shifting from incredulous and irritated to regretful and ashamed. He'd known for a fact that she was trying to pull away from him…he might have been forgiven if he'd let her go then and apologized. But he hadn't…he'd been so desperate to keep her, to show her that she was wrong, that he'd hurt her. And then she'd hit him, hurting herself once more.

Apparently Bella was now living with the Cullens full time, and with the two big brothers standing guard, he knew he had no chance of getting close to her. But he'd heard about the shooting, and about her trouble at school, from Billy, who'd heard some of it from Charlie. Of course, Jacob didn't have any details, but it sounded like she was going through a hard time. 'And what was she doing when I went through a hard time? She was trying to help me.' He flinched at that, the reminder that he'd not only screwed up their relationship, but also his chances of repaying her for how much she'd helped him.

Sam resented the girl, of that Jacob was sure. He felt betrayed when she went right back to the vampires, easily forgiving them and even moving in with them. She was putting herself in blatant danger, and didn't seem to care. Furthermore, Jacob knew that she would eventually join Edward's family as one of them, and that would require them to break the treaty. But rather than trying to talk to them, or her, Sam insisted they wait until the treaty was broken. Then they would be justified in attacking. Jacob winced at the thought. He didn't want to hurt Bella, and he had a feeling that he wouldn't even want to hurt her once she was changed. 'She won't be Bella anymore.' He tried to tell himself over and over. But he couldn't imagine it…she wouldn't be dead…she'd be alive and herself…just…different. He sighed, dropping back onto his pillow and staring at the ceiling. He knew Billy was getting tired of his brooding, but he couldn't help it. He wanted to talk to her, to convince her…maybe even to warn her.

'Charlie.' He was thoughtful as he remembered her father. 'I can't exactly warn him….but Billy said that she visited her father sometimes….and Edward was sure to be with her. If he could just get Edward alone…he wouldn't even have to talk to Bella…the vampire surely wouldn't let him near her anyway. But he could tell Edward about Sam's plan…give them some warning. And then maybe Jacob would stop feeling like such a jerk for hurting her.

Charlie crossed his arms, glancing over at the kitchen once more. 'It's too early for lunch…and she's probably had breakfast…or will she be hungry? Is it warm enough in here?' He stood from his recliner once more, standing at the thermostat and turning it up once more. It was comfortable to him, but his daughter had never quite gotten used to the cold weather in the north. 'The TV.' He reminded himself, moving over and shutting it off, then turning it on once more, pressing the volume button on the remote until the baseball game hummed at a comfortable background level. 'Maybe something to drink for them?' Too nervous to scold himself for acting like a nervous boy about to go on his first date, he hurried into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, making sure it was stocked with water bottles and juice and soda, trying to remember what she usually liked to drink.

Esme Cullen had called him earlier, asking him if it was okay for Bella and Edward to visit once more, and immediately he'd run to the grocery, cleaned the house, and taken up residence in the living room as he'd waited. 'Nothing here will upset her.' He told himself firmly. 'Everything is fine around here, and she'll see that everything is okay and she'll be okay…' He shook his head at himself, wondering at his own reasoning. 'It had nothing to do with the house.' Of course he knew that, but this was all he could do, so he would do his best.

The soft purr of an engine came closer until Edward's car pulled into the driveway. Charlie glanced out the window to find Edward at Bella's door, his hand held out as he helped her out of the car, and Charlie grinned involuntarily. 'He's a good kid…polite, kind, wonderful with Bella. He has a good family, and they all lover her. I don't suppose she could have found a better guy to marry.' Even if he wondered why she wanted to be married so young, he had to admit, he had high hopes for this marriage. Whatever he had thought about Bella moving in with the Cullens, Edward was obviously a perfect gentleman, and they had plenty of supervision with Carlisle and Esme in the house. Not that he thought too hard about that aspect of his daughter's relationship, but it was good to know that she was at least with a man that held her in high esteem and respected her.

The boy kept her hand in his as they moved toward the front door, and Charlie sat in his recliner, not wanting them to think he'd been waiting at the door….then stood. "What are you doing?" He grumbled at himself, shaking his head at his own ridiculousness as the knock on his door came.

He pulled the door open, smiling first at Bella, then at Edward. "Come on in." He invited, stepping aside. Bella stood in front of him hesitantly for a moment, and he pulled her into his arms, kissing the top of her head. "Hey Bells." He mumbled, squeezing her tightly for a second before shaking Edward's hand, which was, as usual, a bit cold. Figuring they were cold from being outside, but knowing that they had been in the warm car, he invited them to sit in the living room, dismissing the thought.

Bella looked better. She smiled more easily, laughing softly when he told her a story about the station and his deputy, and telling him about a day she'd spent with Esme, gardening and shopping. He found himself paying attention to Edward as she spoke, how the boy was mostly silent, watching her instead, his hand holding hers. He didn't seem worried…only watchful, as if he were ready to jump up and fight off a threat at any moment. Charlie offered them something to drink, and as per usual, she accepted while he declined politely.

When prompted, Edward did speak, telling him about the colleges they'd looked at, some as far away as England, and Charlie felt his heart drop. He'd hoped that, now that everything between them was resolved and Bella seemed to be recovering, that he'd have a chance to mend his relationship with his little girl. But if they were all going off to England…

"Of course, we'll be back often to visit." Edward reassured him with a serene smile. Charlie could imagine that Carlisle and Esme had plenty of money to use on plane tickets, and he let himself hope once more. "And you would be more than welcome to visit us. Have you ever been to England?"

Edward and my father chatted softly while I leaned against Edward's side, his thumb rubbing over the back of my hand. I could so easily see the effort Charlie was putting into making me comfortable and keeping me calm, and I felt a twinge of embarrassment and guilt. I didn't want my father to feel uncomfortable around me, or think he needed to treat me differently. Edward squeezed my hand gently, glancing down at me as Charlie talked about college and airfare, his eyes a little worried. I forced a smile, swallowing another sip of water, and tried to listen to Charlie who faltered, his eyes pausing on me. "What's wrong Bells?" He asked softly, dropping the conversation and leaning forward.

"Nothing, sorry." I tried to smile but he shook his head. Edward, apparently hearing something in his thoughts, stood as Charlie moved to sit beside me, stepping back. I wasn't sure where he went, but suddenly I was alone on the couch beside my father, his arm hesitantly lifting to go around my shoulders. "I'm so sorry." I realized that my eyes were wet, dropping my head against his shoulder when he held me, not letting me pull away to put my head in my hands.

"Just talk to me, honey. What is it? Did I do something? You're old man's pretty slow…you're going to have to tell me."

I fought back a small smile when he chuckled, a strained sound. "Not you." I told him, shaking my head. "I just…" I didn't know if I could put it into words, but he waited, uncharacteristically patient, his arm still around me. "I'm sorry…about before."

"Bella, you can't help that." He chastised me gently. "You're certainly not the one who needs to be apologizing. I didn't know…well, you know. And I wasn't sure how to help…" I shook my head. "You're my little girl." He murmured, squeezing my shoulders. "And I know you've got Edward and Carlisle and Esme…and the rest of that lot. I know that they love you, and that you're a part of their family now. But…I do love you Bells. I'm not always great at showing it…" I turned and threw my arms around my father, saving him from the rest of his awkward speech, my eyes drying as I laughed softly.

I didn't feel like I could apologize enough to my dad…for all that had happened between us, or for what I would soon do…leave him, and then induct him into this strange world that he may want nothing to do with. But although I hadn't quite been able to put into words everything I was feeling, I hoped I would be able to someday…maybe years from now, after I'd been changed and after he was used to this new world. So for the moment, I just let him hold me, feeling the pain and fear pass. I wondered if my emotionally distant and awkward father was taking pointers from Carlisle, because he held me for several long minutes, his embrace gentle and protective and something I'd never had from my biological father.

Edward sat in the kitchen, his eyes closed as he tried to focus on Charlie's thoughts. It was hard…like trying to listen to garbled words underwater. He caught the occasional sentiment, able to tell that Charlie was worried about Bella, but also that he was trying to comfort her, feeling embarrassed and inadequate, but also happy to be holding her and helping her. Bella's mind was, of course, as silent as ever, but he listened to her heartbeat and breathing, making sure they held steady, ready to step in if she needed him.

'Edward.' He stiffened at the familiar silent voice, his teeth bared for a second before he stopped to listen. 'I need to talk to you…it's about Sam. Please…it's important.' He sighed, standing and glancing at Bella, now sitting beside her father and once again answering questions about college and school. She seemed okay….and if Jacob had sought him out here, on neutral territory, then it must be important.

Edward slipped out the back door, keeping an ear open just in case Bella needed him, and turned to face Jacob Black who stood at the edge of the woods at the back of Charlie's property. Edward smiled briefly as he remembered hiding in those woods, watching Bella as she lay on the grass on a blanket, flipping through a Jane Austen novel. But his thoughts turned serious once more when Jacob glanced around a little nervously. Edward moved just close enough so that Jacob could hear him, and crossed his arms, waiting. Jacob hesitated, his thoughts on Bella, and Edward glared. "You are not going to see her, if that's…"

"No…' Jacob shook his head. "That's not…it's Sam." Edward's eyes widened as the young boy's thoughts shifted to the alpha, his orders that they would wait for Bella to be changed, and then attack, that they would not interfere in any other way, and Edward saw that Sam wanted to attack…that he was waiting for an excuse to kill them. He also saw that Jacob disagreed.

"Carlisle wants to meet with Sam to discuss the treaty." Edward spoke carefully. "Emmett, Jasper, and I will come…" The boy's thoughts went once more to Bella and Edward shook his head fiercely. "None of us would have her in that situation…" He told Jacob, surprised when Jacob silently agreed. "Will Saturday be convenient? Bella has plans with a friend and won't miss the four of us."

Mentally Jacob was trying to make excuses for why he'd sought out Edward and failed, and Edward felt a twinge of sympathy for him. To have one's mind constantly open to others was, as he knew from hearing his family's thoughts, annoying at best. He couldn't imagine how it would feel to have someone able to both read his thoughts and force him to obey his commands. "Yea, I'll tell him. Um…where do you want to meet?"

"These woods would be fine." Jacob nodded, and started to leave, then hesitated, his thoughts straying back to Bella.

'Is she okay?' Edward clenched his jaw, still irritated with the wolf for what he'd unintentionally done to his mate, the painful memories he'd dredged up. But realistically, he knew that plenty of good had come from it as well. She'd moved in with them, and was growing closer to his family, and to himself. She was staring to recover, and to face her pain. They now knew how to help her, and were doing their best to help her heal. So, if he thought about it, he couldn't be too angry with the stupid wolf.

"She's starting to recover…I need to get back to her though." Jacob nodded, accepting the dismissal, and headed back into the woods as Edward pulled out his phone, sending a text to Carlisle, then went back into the house where he found Bella and Charlie still talking comfortably. Glad that he hadn't been missed…he joined them on the sofa, taking a seat next to Bella once more and placing his hand in hers, no longer surprised at how much he missed touching her even when he was only away from her for a few minutes.

Carlisle ignored the soft vibrating in his pocket as he spoke to a young woman about her daughter, who, thankfully, he'd been able to save after a car accident killed her father on impact. He hated this part of his job, but he was grateful that he'd been able to save the little girl, if not the woman's husband. It was times like these that he was deliriously grateful that most of his beloved family, his wife who he couldn't live without, his three clever, funny sons, and two of his precious daughters, were indestructible. It was also times like these that he tried his best not to put his youngest daughter in the place of his patients, to think of what would happen were she to be in a car accident, or attacked, or trapped in a burning building, or….he cut himself off. 'Not helping.' He told himself as he led the woman into the little girl's room, giving her a minute alone with her daughter, and tried to focus on her chart.

He missed his family, although he loved his job and his work. He wanted to see his wife…being apart from her for the better part of two days was just as difficult for him as it always had been…maybe even more so. "Dr. Cullen?" He looked up when the woman called for him, stepping into the room. "When can I take her home?" The little girl was staring at him from her bed, hiding behind her mother, and he smiled gently at them.

"I'd like to keep her overnight, just to be safe. She should be able to leave in the morning if everything is okay." He glanced at the doorway where a nurse, Ms. Darnes, stood. "Ms. Darnes will help keep an eye on her, and she'll set you up with a bed if you'd like to stay with her tonight." The woman nodded gratefully, wiping quickly at her eyes and smiling at him.

"Thank you, Dr. Cullen." He nodded with a smile, handing off the chart to the nurse who greeted him softly, then stepped into the hall, pulling out his phone.

'I spoke to Jacob. The wolves will meet us Saturday in the woods across from Charlie's house.' Carlisle sighed, pinching the top of his nose as he sighed.

"Everything okay, Dr. Cullen?" He looked up in surprise as Erin Robst hesitated in front of him, a chart under his arm.

"Yes…" He forced a polite smile, but he obviously hadn't fooled the man who only lifted an eyebrow.

"You know, in my field, we call that denial…or lying." He shrugged and Carlisle smiled genuinely. He had a feeling that if he and his family didn't have to leave soon, he would have happily struck up a friendship with this man. "How is your daughter?"

"Better. You're suggestions have helped. Thank you."

"Of course." Carlisle was thoughtful for a moment.

"Actually, I believe Edward might be bringing her over to visit…in an hour or so…" Erin waited. "I know my wife spoke to her about seeing you, but she seemed reluctant. Still, if you'd like to meet her, I'll probably meet them in the food court."

"Of course. I don't believe I've met Edward either…I'll see if I can stop by. Oh, and if you need to talk, you know where my office is. First hour's free." Carlisle snorted as the man walked away, amused at the idea of going into the psychiatrist's office and explaining that he was worried about some upcoming negotiations with a pack of werewolves involving changing his youngest daughter into a vampire.

'Yes, I'm sure that would go over well…' He thought with a smile, heading into his office to get some paperwork done before moving on to his next case.

About an hour later, he headed down to the food court, smiling when he caught sight of Bella and Edward, a tray between them, and two bottles of water in front of them. His son glanced up as soon as he entered the room, and Carlisle hurried over, leaning down and placing a hand on his daughter's shoulder. She jumped up, throwing her arms around him, and he kissed her head, his hand stroking the back of her hair. "I miss you." He smiled a little at Bella's words, burying his face in her hair and taking a deep breath, barely noticing the slight burn in the back of his throat and focused instead on how she smelled, the floral, sweetness of her blood and hair.

"I miss you too, sweetheart. No more 48 hour shifts for a while." He reached out with one arm, pulling Edward close as well. 'I miss all of you too much.' He told his son silently.

A familiar scent hit his nose and he gently pulled away from Bella, releasing Edward as well as he turned to face Dr. Robst who stood beside the table closest to them, his smile genuine. Edward glanced at Carlisle warily, his hand taking Bella's, but the girl seemed more confused than worried. "Bella, Edward, this is one of my coworkers, Dr. Robst." He introduced them, turning to the psychiatrist, not missing the way Bella stiffened. "Dr. Robst, my youngest son, Edward, and my youngest daughter, Bella."

"It's nice to meet you." Erin shook Edward's hand, then Bella's, while they murmured polite greetings. "Please, call me Erin." He invited with a smile, obviously noticing Bella's discomfort. "I just wanted to stop by to meet the two of you. Carlisle speaks often of his children." Bella smiled then, her eyes dropping as her cheeks reddened, and Carlisle chuckled softly while Edward relaxed at her side, squeezing her hand. "I'll let you enjoy your lunch. I'll talk to you later, Carlisle. Bella, Edward, it was nice to meet you."

They nodded, then Carlisle placed his hand on Bella's back, guiding her back to the chair and sitting beside her. Edward sat on her other side, and to Carlisle's relief, she seemed calm and happy. But he couldn't forget his son's text. 'Did you tell her?" He asked silently as she took a bite of her sandwich, and Edward played with his bottle cap, spinning it on the table.

"No…she'll worry." Edward murmured.

'We can't expect to hide this from her.' He rebuked his son silently. 'She already knows that I am going to speak to Sam.'  
"Can't we tell her afterwards?"

'And what will that make her think? That we don't trust her? Or that we have no faith in her?'

"But what if…" Edward cut off when they realized that Bella was staring at him in irritated confusion. His son sighed, and Carlisle looked at the table, a little ashamed. He was quite aware of how rude they were being, having a conversation right in front of her that she couldn't hear. There were times when it was necessary, but this could have waited.

"I'm sorry, Bella." He apologized softly, and the girl looked over at him. "Edward spoke with Jacob today, and we are going to meet with Sam on Saturday to discuss the treaty."

Her eyes widened. "Alone?" She looked back and forth between him and Edward, who shook his head reassuringly.

"No, Emmett and Jasper are coming too. Honestly, Esme, Rose, and Alice will probably insist on going as well, but Carlisle will speak with Sam about that first, probably on the phone or through Jacob."

"Then I can come." Before Edward could have a heart attack at the thought, Carlisle cut in.

"No. Absolutely not." He spoke firmly, shaking his head.

"But the rest of you are going." She argued, and even though he hated telling her no, he mentally celebrated that spark of life in her eyes, the girl who would argue with a vampire without fear.

"I will not put you in that situation. It is far too dangerous to have a human present at that sort of meeting, especially if a fight were to break out." She paled a little, obviously aware now that her family would be in danger. "We are not worried. We are more than capable of handling ourselves. But if you were present and a fight broke out, we would all be too worried about protecting you to defend ourselves." He kept his voice gentle as he took her hand. "Alice has plans for you anyway…you'll be spending the day safely away from that meeting." He reached up and touched her face. "We will all be fine. It will be a short meeting, more than likely. I don't hold much hope that Sam will agree, but we haven't broken any rules, so he has no reason to attack us."

Edward was obviously worried at the way she stared at the table, her face troubled, and Carlisle squeezed her hand. "Talk to me, Bella. What's wrong?"

"What if something happens?" She asked in a near whisper, her eyes frightened as she looked up at him. He placed his hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently.

"Bella, we have had these meetings several times, and we have never been in any danger. The worst it has ever gotten was a shouting match, and that was quickly reigned in. We are keeping you out of it strictly for your safety. There will only be a few of them, and there are seven of us. Emmett and Jasper won't risk starting a fight, knowing how much it would upset you. You know that…you don't have to worry about them. And we are all capable of defending ourselves, or even running away if we have to. We will not fight with the Quileute children, okay?"

She seemed to calm a little, nodding her head and taking another bite. He watched her carefully, but she showed no signs of nausea or discomfort, so he was confident that she was okay. "Now, enough of this. Tell me, how's Charlie?" She relaxed further, smiling a little and telling him all about how Charlie was doing and the state of his house. He leaned back in his chair, ignoring Edward's clenched jaw. He knew that his son disagreed with his decision to tell Bella, but they couldn't keep hiding things from her and still act like they believed in her. 'She is afraid of panicking.' He informed Edward silently before answering one of her questions about the hospital and his work. 'If we act like every little thing is going to be her undoing, then that will only reinforce that fear.'

Emmett stepped into the library upstairs, shutting the door behind him and then moving past the several computers, mostly used for the more questionable (illegal) activities they participated in when strictly necessary, then past several folders full of their identities, with a few reserved for Bella, coming to stand across from Jasper. His brother had his arms crossed tightly, his gaze cutting over to the window occasionally. "All clear." He told him with a mischievous grin. Jasper was still skeptical.

"You're sure?" If they were caught...well, they would just have to make sure they weren't.

"Edward is out with Bella. Carlisle won't be back from work until tomorrow. Rose and Alice are shopping."

"Esme?" It was the most important that neither Esme nor Carlisle caught on.

"Esme is in her greenhouse...she'll be gone all morning." Jasper sighed, obviously wanting her farther away than that, but they didn't have much of a choice. Fabricating a hunting trip together, without either of their mates, was more likely to arouse Esme's suspicion. Plus, they needed these computers.

"Okay." He relaxed a little. "Jeremy Jonson and Mark Andrews. Those are the only names Edward could get."

Emmett growled softly, knowing that there were more. "Their addresses?"

"At least three years old...but it gives us somewhere to start." Jasper gestured to two laptop computers, top of the line and modified by Edward and Carlisle to go above and beyond anything available on the market. "We've got three hours."

"That should be plenty of time." Emmett growled, sitting in front of one of the computers and starting it up.

"Don't forget to wipe the memory after each search...and open some random pages, just in case Carlisle thinks to check."

"No problem." Emmett opened a web browser and typed in the address. "Dibs on Jeremy."


	34. Chapter 34

Angela waved goodbye to her two little brothers who strained against their seat belts as her mother drove away. They were all going out for the day, her father to a friend's house to watch some sort of game on TV and her mother and brothers to the park and out to lunch.

It hadn't been hard to convince them to let her have the house to herself, even though her mother had originally planned to leave the twins with her and run some errands. They'd all been watching TV on Wednesday night when her mother had brought it up. "Would you mind watching the boys Saturday?" She'd asked, turning to her daughter on the opposite sofa where she had been reading a book. The boys were both asleep upstairs, and Angela knew her parents would go to bed soon. Finals were coming up, but she was putting off studying for the moment, instead skimming through her novel.

"Actually…I need to talk to you about Saturday." Angela spoke a little hesitantly, and both of her parents turned to her. "Alice Cullen called me…she was wondering if Bella could spend Saturday here."

"Alice…oh, Doctor and Esme Cullen's daughter." Her father nodded thoughtfully, his face growing solemn. Rumors about young Bella Swan had circulated through the town, and the young and old alike enjoyed an evening gossiping about the 'poor mentally unstable' daughter of the chief, and the questionable activities that went on inside the Cullen home. Angela was grateful that her mother was very fond of Esme Cullen, and that her father had the highest respect for the doctor. When they'd heard that the couple had taken in yet another child, they'd been impressed and approving.

"It's so kind of them." She'd heard her mother say to a not so well meaning gossip who'd brought it up at the pharmacy. "They're very young, but they've opened their home to those children, and they're all very well behaved and kind young men and women. They obviously care a great deal for Bella. We could use more people like Doctor and Mrs. Cullen in Forks." That had put end to whatever the other woman had been about to say, and Angela had felt a wave of affection for her mother.

"Did she say how Bella was doing?" All the parents who had any involvement with the school or knew Mrs. Mallory knew about the rumors…that Bella had been taken from school because she was mentally unstable and dangerous to the other students…or herself. Of course, Angela and her family were having none of that, and her father often came home angry that the people he worked with would 'gossip like that about the poor girl.' He knew Chief Swan pretty well, and had plenty of respect for him as well, and he thought it was a shame that the girl was being treated this way by so many adults who ought to know better.

"She said she's been feeling better, but I think she just wants to get her out of the house for a while." Angela spoke carefully, not wanting to share too much.

"Well, of course she's welcome to come over." Her mother had said firmly. "Would it be better if we were out of the house?"

"I think so…I don't think being around so many strange people would be good for her." Alice had implied that it would be best if Angela and Bella could spend time alone, and Angela was more than willing to comply. So on Saturday morning, her mother had woken the boys early, taking them out for a fun day together that would hopefully include a little grocery shopping, and, after giving Angela some money to order pizza, her father had headed out as well.

Angela stepped up to the movie shelf, wondering if Bella wanted to watch movies, or maybe study together…she knew that her friend was taking her exams at home. She wondered how that was going, and if she needed ay help. Angela had to doubt it…all of the Cullen kids were at the top of the class. She skimmed the movies, running her fingers along the edges, then paused when she heard a familiar loud engine. Grinning in excitement, she hurried out the front door and hurried over to where her friend was climbing out of the truck, wrapping her arms around her and squeezing when Bella did the same. She was a little surprised…Bella rarely seemed comfortable giving hugs or receiving them…she usually just patted her back a little awkwardly and then tried to pull away. She pushed that thought away, releasing the girl. "Hey. Come on in. It's warmer inside." She promised, tugging her smiling friend along.

Bella looked better. She remembered the last day she'd seen her in school. She'd been passing by on her way to Spanish when she'd spotted Bella, looking upset and pale, between a worried looking Edward and a grim looking Jasper. A few football players had been making their way around them, and Jasper had shifted, obviously shielding Bella from them. Angela had been torn between going over and comforting her friend and not wanting to intrude, and had decided that she'd better not bother her. But now, her face didn't seem quite so hollow…her eyes were bright and excited, although she also looked a little worried. Deciding not to pry, Angela locked her front door and took her shoes off, Bella following suit.

"It's so good to see you." Angela confessed softly, smiling at Bella. She'd missed her friend more than she'd realized, and Bella bit her lip, then reached out to touch her arm.

"I missed you too." She told Angela quietly. "I'm sorry…I never got to tell you…"

"Don't worry about it." Angela told her firmly. "We can talk about that later…if you want. But you have to tell me…how's your dog?" Bella snorted, following her over to the sofa. "I was hoping you'd bring her!" She cried, making her laugh. "I wanted to meet her."

"She's good." Bella told her, sitting on the sofa and leaning back against the arm. "She's pretty easy to housetrain, and she likes to play with the toys Jasper got her. She's always running around and wanting to play." Angela laughed, able to imagine Bella chasing the dog around the house.

"And everyone else likes her?"

"Oh yeah. She likes playing with Jasper…she doesn't like Emmett though." She laughed and Angela could imagine…she couldn't help being intimidated by the large boy. "He's always trying to make up with her though." That, Angela could not imagine. "So…how's school?" Bella wondered, clenching her hands in her lap.

"Fine. I'm just glad it's nearly over. Exams are coming up, and I'm sure I'm going to fail calculus." Bella laughed, nodding.

"Same. I think I get most of it, but when I sit down to take the test, I'm sure I'll forget everything. And history is awful. I hope all those names and dates weren't important."

Angela laughed. "Right? The only one I'm not worried about it English. Maybe Spanish."

"Ugh I hate Spanish. I feel like I know how to say 'hello' and 'do you speak English?'" Angela giggled. "And it's worse because Edward and Emmett are pretty much fluent! So they're writing essays in perfect Spanish while I'm trying to figure out the word for 'kitchen.'"

"Don't they help you?"  
"Oh they try. I'm kind of hopeless with Spanish though." She trailed off, looking at the floor, and Angela gestured to the movie shelf.

"So, you wanna watch a movie?" Bella looked thoughtful for a moment, then nodded.

"Sure." Together they stood, looking through the movies, and ended up watching a mindless comedy, laughing or rolling their eyes through most of it.

Around noon, Angela ordered a pizza, and then began skimming the movies again for something else to watch, or to put on in the background. Glancing over at Bella on the sofa, she realized that her friend was glancing at her phone occasionally. "We can do something else if you want…." Angela spoke a little hesitantly, and immediately her friend looked ashamed.

"No, I'm sorry. Edward and his brothers and Carlisle all went out…I was just wondering if I'd hear from Edward…" Angela nodded, starting to answer when the doorbell rang. She hurried to the door and tipped the pizza man, placing the large, hot box on the table, and, after grabbing plates, they took their food into the living room, sitting in front of the TV once more, a generic mystery movie playing in the background.

"If you want to talk…." Angela paused, looking over to gauge her friend's reaction. Bella swallowed her pizza, staring at the ground for a moment. "If you want to talk about anything, I'm here." She told her softly, picking up the pizza and taking a bite. "During my first year of high school, I suffered pretty badly from depression." She informed her friend softly. "I was on meds for a while…I just…you're not alone, you know. And…if you think it'll help to talk about it, then I'm willing to listen."

Bella pulled her lower lip into her mouth, biting down gently with her teeth, then seemed to consciously stop, instead taking another bite of pizza. When she'd finished swallowing, she looked up at Angela. "Carlisle said I have an anxiety disorder." She told her softly. "I had a panic attack in school…and I scratched my arm….he was worried, so he took me out of school." She held her wrist with her hand, looking almost fearfully up at Angela who was careful to keep her face neutral and understanding. "I…I can't breathe…when I have panic attacks. They started after the shooting, and I still have them...I had one earlier this week when I went to visit Charlie." Angela reached over and touched her shoulder, squeezing a little.

"Do you take any medicine for it?" Angela asked gently. "That helped me."

"Carlisle doesn't want to resort to medicine…he said the side effects from anti anxiety medicine can be pretty bad." Angela nodded, waiting for Bella to take another bite and chew her food slowly. "They all know how to help…Edward and Jasper and Emmett…but…" She seemed to give up on the pizza for the moment. Angela took her hand firmly, squeezing.

"It's okay." She told her friend when she wiped furiously at her eyes. "You don't have to talk to me if you don't want to."

Bella sat in silence for a long minute, her hand still in Angela's, and after a while Angela went back to her pizza, watching the TV absentmindedly. If her friend needed to talk to her, then she would. If she wanted to be quiet for a while, then that was fine too. Alice had warned her that it was possible that Bella could have a panic attack for seemingly no reason, and if that happened, she gave Alice the numbers of herself, Carlisle, and Edward, promising that one of them would come immediately. She also told her how to help Bella through it, making sure she knew someone was with her, talking her through it, encouraging her to breathe. Bella tended to hyperventilate when she suffered from the attacks, and needed to be reminded to breathe deeply.

"I don't know why they happen." Bella confessed haltingly. "I don't understand it…one minute I'm fine, but if I think of anything bad…" Angela squeezed her friend's hand, the subtle gesture a reminder that she wasn't alone.

"You're not panicking right now." Angela reminded her. "You're fine. And you're talking about being afraid." Bella glanced up at her, a little surprised. "It's okay to be afraid." She told her gently. "We're all afraid sometimes. You're not going to panic every time you worry…you have lots of things you can do to calm down. When I was depressed, I used to read, or listen to music, or go jogging… you'll get through this. You've got Doctor Cullen and Mrs. Cullen, and Edward and his brothers and sisters…you all seem really close. And like you said, they all help…even Emmett…" Bella looked up at her in surprise for a second at her hesitant voice, then smiled a little.

"You're afraid of Emmett." Bella seemed so amused by that that Angela blushed a little.

"He's so…big." Angela whispered, embarrassed as Bella laughed. "And…he looks scary. Him and Jasper both." She knew they were nice people…they obviously loved Bella, but she couldn't help the nervousness she felt around them. Alice was different…she was small and sweet and although there was something a little frightening about her too, she was much more approachable. But the boys in the family…

"He's like a big teddy bear." Bella whispered, and Angela laughed incredulously. "It's true. He's huge and loud sometimes…but he's really nice." Her eyes softened a little and Angela smiled, trying to adjust her feelings about the apparently gentle giant. Bella leaned forward, her voice dropping to a murmur. "Don't tell him I said that. He'd probably have to go kill a grizzly with his bare hands to reassert his masculinity." Angela snorted, laughing aloud at the thought, almost missing the private smile on Bella's face.

They chatted for a little while longer, the solemn mood dissolving in the midst of a mystery movie they tried to figure out the plot of thirty minutes in, rapidly cooling fresh pizza, and a thermostat turned up to keep the house cozy and warm. Bella stopped glancing at her cellphone every five minutes, and told her all about a day she'd spent with Esme, about her greenhouse full of every kind of vegetable and fruits and other plants…about learning to embroider and planning her wedding. She told her how Alice made Emmett sift through a thousand books in order to pick out the right decorations and how Jasper had taken her out to lunch after having her try appetizers. All in all, Bella truly seemed happy with the Cullens. Angela just hoped she'd get to see more of her now that they were reconnecting.

They finished the mystery movie that they never quite figured out and switched to the TV, putting some teen drama on for background noise, and Angela finally got around to giving her a tour of the house. They spent the rest of the day in Angela's bedroom, chatting about Ben and Edward, or about Angela's brothers, until Bella's phone began to buzz in her pocket. Excusing herself, she stepped out into the hallway, and Angela lay back on her bed, smiling at the ceiling. It had been a while since she'd spend the day with a friend. 'Maybe we can go to Port Angeles some time, or just out around here…this summer after we graduate. We can hang out some day…maybe after her wedding…I'll bet her wedding is going to be beautiful.' She sat up when Bella entered the room, looking at her questioningly.

"That was Edward. They're all on their way home…" She seemed strangely relieved, but Angela didn't try to pry.

"Cool. Did you want to go home? You can stay for a little while…my mom should be home soon with the twins."

"I'd actually better get going…thank you for today."

"Of course." Angela stepped up to her, wrapping her arms around the girl. "Anytime. We need to get together soon and go out. Maybe see a movie in Port Angeles?" Bella nodded, but for some reason, Angela thought she looked a little sad.

"That sounds great. Your invitation to the wedding should be in the mail." The two girls walked down the stairs, pausing at the front door. "You've been a really great friend, Angela." She told her softly, and Angela was torn between confusion and worry. "Thank you. For everything."

"Of course…is everything okay?" Bella stepped out onto the porch.

"Yeah. Everything's great. I need to get back to studying though. I have to take my exams next week. I'll see you later."

"Okay. Text me when you get home…be careful." Angela called as she climbed into her truck.

"See you." Angela raised her hand as her friend pulled out of the driveway, lifting a hand to wave goodbye, then disappeared down the road.


	35. Chapter 35

"No way."

"Edward, I'll be fine."

"No!" I stared at him in surprise, the volume of his voice making me flinch and lean back. He rarely raised his voice with me…was rarely so upset with me. He saw the slight movement away from him and sighed, deflating and reaching out, opening his arms. I stepped forward after a second of hesitation, resting my head against his shoulder and placing my hands against his chest.

"Alice said it would be okay."

"No." This time he whispered it, and I hated myself for celebrating inwardly. But I was careful to keep my face sad and pleading, lifting my gaze to stare up at him, begging with my eyes. Surely he couldn't resist if I begged.

"Please Edward." I spoke in a whisper, making my eyes large and biting into my lip. "Please." For a second, I felt a flash of irritation at this situation that disappeared as soon as it came. I should have to plead with him like this just to drive myself somewhere, but I also knew that he had every right to worry about me considering recent events. His face twisted in pain and I wanted to stop…I wanted to give in. Was it that important that I drove myself to Angela's today?

Alice had told me that I was going to Angela's for the day…that she'd planned it all out with the girl a couple of days ago, and apparently I didn't have much choice in the matter. Of course, I did miss Angela, and she was the easiest person to be around. Also, they probably would have let me stay in the house while they went to the meeting. 'But what if I have a panic attack and I'm completely alone in the house? What if I can't breathe and there's no one to help me?' That thought, more than anything, had made me decide to go along with Alice's plan…plus it would have been rude to cancel on her. And Edward had promised to call as soon as the meeting was over, regardless of how it went.

I'd been worried about Emmett, Jasper, and Edward around the wolves on Friday night as the meeting had approached. More than worried, I'd been on the verge of panicking when I thought of one of them starting a fight and being torn apart like I'd seen them do to Laurent, back when I still associated with them. But Jasper, sensing my fear as we'd all sat together in the living room, had stood and flashed over to my side, putting an arm around me. "What?" He'd asked, ignoring everyone else in the room who stared at us. "Darlin, what is it?" And then I'd let myself feel the overwhelming terror…the panic I felt when I thought of one of my brothers getting hurt…of never seeing them again. "Shh, darlin, you've got to tell me what's wrong. I can't read your mind." He'd murmured, and then Edward's hand on my back and been joined my Emmett's who'd come to stand beside me. But rather than feeling claustrophobic, I'd felt incredibly safe, surrounded by all of them. "Talk, Bella." Jasper requested softly, and I nodded a little, taking a deep breath just to remind myself that I could.

"Please don't fight with them." I'd whispered in a pained voice, and Jasper had softened, filling me with comfort and assurance that I didn't fight.

"Bella, I promise, none of us will fight with them." He told me seriously.

"Even if they attack you. Please." I begged. "Please, Jasper." Tears had slipped from under my lashes then, and any hesitation on his part had disappeared, but it was Emmett who crouched in front of me, tugging gently on my hair and looking at me in the eyes, speaking in a firm voice.

"Bella, we will not fight with them unless it is absolutely necessary to defend ourselves. We won't pick a fight. We won't antagonize them." He sighed. "We won't pull their tails." He grumbled, forcing a reluctant laugh from me. "Okay?" I'd nodded then, and Emmett had wrapped his arms around me, biceps as big around as my waist wrapping around me gently, holding me just tightly enough that I could know that I was safe.

Carlisle had assured me once again that night, right before I'd gone to bed, that he would not allow any fighting between the wolves and our family. Then Edward had wrapped me in his arms, humming softly, and I'd slept deeply, thanks to the soft music and the warm weight on my stomach as Carlie rested her head there. But this morning, when Edward had told me that he was going to drop me off at Angela's, I'd thought of my unused truck in their garage, among the shiny sports cars, and I'd longed for just a day of normalcy, of driving my truck over to my friend's house without worrying about panicking or having a breakdown or worrying my family. Of course, he'd been…reluctant. The very thought of letting me go alone seemed to torment him. But I stared into his light brown eyes, my own still pleading. "Please, Edward." I asked again, knowing he couldn't deny me when I begged like this.

He opened his mouth, maybe to deny me again, but Carlisle entered the kitchen, looking between the two of us curiously. "Is everything okay?" He asked hesitantly.

"Bella wishes to drive herself to Angela's." Edward told him, his tone telling Carlisle exactly what he thought about that idea. But Carlisle only nodded, looking at me thoughtfully.

"Of course. You have your phone?" He confirmed, and I nodded. "Turned on, on your person, charged?" I almost laughed at his question, reminded so much of a typical overbearing father, and pulled my cellphone out of my pocket and holding it up for him to see. He smiled then, reaching forward and pulling me into his arms, kissing the top of my head. I put my arms around his neck, squeezing tightly.

"I love you." I murmured, and he pulled away, touching my face gently.

"I love you too." He told me seriously, kissing my forehead quickly. "So much. Be careful, okay? If you need us, call." I nodded, and he smiled, glancing over at Edward who watched the exchange with a clenched jaw. He lifted an eyebrow, looking at his son, and I was sure he was asking him something silently. Ignoring the exchange, I pocketed my phone and squeaked when I found myself lifted in the air from behind, my brother's deep chuckle in my ear and a loud, angry bark coming from somewhere around my feet. Emmett sighed, squeezing me gently once more then dropping me carefully back on the ground where I gathered my dog into my arms, kissing her head and cooing good morning to her. Emmett rolled his eyes, ignoring Jasper's chuckle and Edward's reluctant smile.

Esme entered the room then with Alice, pulling me into her arms and kissing my forehead. "You'd better get going, sweetie." She murmured, stroking my cheek. "Be careful. I love you." I hugged her tightly.

"I love you too." She smiled, squeezing my hand and taking Carlie from my arms. Edward still looked upset, and I walked over to him, resting my head against his chest as his arms wrapped around me, and I knew that he was perfectly capable of keeping me here...if he wanted, he could keep me from leaving on my own. He was certainly strong enough. But after a few seconds, he released me, smiling faintly.

"Be careful, love. I'll call you when the meeting is over." I knew that he didn't want me to go…he wanted to be the one to take me, even if we were only going to be apart for a few hours. But he would follow Carlisle's lead here. He squeezed my hand, then let me go, taking a step back, and I felt something in my pocket. I reached in, laughing a little ruefully when I found my keys in them. Nodding my thanks, I turned and headed for the garage, pausing for a long moment beside my truck, then climbed in, putting the key in the ignition, and jumping a little when the loud roar filled the garage.

Edward watched the truck disappear around the corner, closing his eyes and clenching his jaw as soon as she was out of sight, and instead listened to the truck until she got to the highway. His father placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently, his thoughts compassionate and understanding as always. Emmett's arms were crossed tightly, and Jasper stared at the floor, both listening to Bella just like he was. "Guys, she's going to be fine." Alice leaned in the doorway, her smile soft, and she showed Edward an image of Bella arriving at Angela's, then one of them watching TV, eating pizza…she seemed fine. He sighed, giving his sister a small, grateful smile.

Rosalie entered the room, tossing a set of keys to Edward and crossing her arms, leaning against Emmett. The tension in the air broken, Edward stared at the keys for a moment then rolled his eyes. "Why'd you take my car?"

"I fixed your car." She corrected, looking back at Carlisle, and, deciding to let it go, turned, with the rest of his family, to look at their leader.

"You already know this, but no fighting with the wolves. No antagonizing them, no picking fights, no rude comments…" He stared at Rosalie pointedly and she smirked a little, nodding and staring at the ground. But none of them were going to pick a fight…they wouldn't risk upsetting Bella if a fight broke out. "If they attack, get out." He told them firmly. "Do your best not to fight them. Get back to the house…they probably won't come onto our territory…if they do, then we'll have no choice. I am simply going to ask Sam if we have permission to amend the treaty to allow us to change Bella after the wedding."

"You think they'll say no." Edward confirmed quietly, and Carlisle sighed, wrapping his arms around Esme who leaned against him.

"Sam wants an excuse to attack us. I am almost certain that Sam will say no. But I believe we owe it to Bella to try. I could be wrong." He reminded Edward who nodded, although he disagreed. He didn't want to spend the day away from Bella…he didn't want to meet with the wolves when he pretty much knew that they'd never agree to this.

"We'd better go. Alice?"

"Bella is fine." She assured her mother. "She and Angela are going to have fun." She kissed Esme's cheek, then bounced back, sighing a little as she took her place by Jasper's side, taking his hand. Edward grinned, reading her annoyance at going in blind in her thoughts, and she stuck her tongue out at him.

Carlisle climbed into his Mercedes, glancing over at his wife as she sat beside him. Emmett, Rosalie, and Edward piled into his jeep, while Jasper threw a leg over his motorcycle, waiting for Alice to climb on behind him and put her arms around his waist, her chin on his shoulder. He was grateful, in a way, to Bella and her worry for them. He didn't like taking his family to negotiate with the wolves, although they'd never let him go alone…he knew his sons at least would be nearby if he tried it. Be he was glad that they'd all promised to behave and be careful. He couldn't bear the thought of losing one of his children, or, god forbid, his wife. He squeezed her hand and returned her smile. She was, out of all of them, the least experienced in combat, and was reluctant to fight. Any time it came down to a fight between his family and outsiders, usually nomads passing through, Esme was the one they strove to protect, Emmett, Jasper, and Edward stepping up to help keep her safe. Due to the size of their family, they'd never yet faced a real threat. But this pack of young werewolves may come close.

"Stay behind me please." He requested softly, glancing in the rearview mirror at Emmett's jeep, his ears picking up the sounds of Jasper's motorcycle behind them. She looked at him in surprise, starting, he was sure, to argue that she would be fine, that everyone would be, but he shook his head. "If it comes to a fight…"

"Carlisle, I'm sure…"

"Love, please." He looked over at her, ignoring the road now as he drove the car on auto-pilot. She sighed, the gesture telling him that she was listening. "If it comes to a fight, a serious fight, get Bella. Take her back to the house. If we need a safe place, that will be our best bet."

"You think it will come to that?" She asked in surprise, and he shook his head, rubbing his thumb along the back of her soft hand.

"No, I do not. But it is always better to be prepared. I wouldn't risk the lives of our children if the wolves want a fight. If it comes to it, we will take Bella and the others and run." She sat back against the seat, her gaze far away, and he squeezed her hand once more. "Honestly, I don't believe it will. Sam will probably refuse to amend the treaty, we'll have the wedding in peace, and then we'll leave." Esme nodded, resting her head on his shoulder. "The meeting is near Charlie's house…we can always 'stop by' if the wolves become hostile." He smiled a little. "They wouldn't risk exposing themselves to the sheriff."

"And if they did?"

"I suppose it would make explaining his daughter's eventual change a little easier. At least we don't turn into animals." She laughed softly, shaking her head a little.

"I guess there's that." She agreed. He lifted her hand to his lips, kissing it softly, then pulled off on the road that led to the forest across from Charlie's house, his children following closely.

He climbed out of the car, instantly taking Esme's hand once more. Jasper kicked the stand on the side of the bike, propping it up beside Emmett's jeep. Emmett and Rosalie leapt out of the jeep, and Edward followed, taking a position by Esme's other side. Alice stood beside Carlisle, with Jasper slightly behind them, and Emmett and Rosalie stood next to Edward.

Across from them, Sam stood, his arm crossed tightly. Beside him was the familiar form of Jacob Black, the boy obviously reluctant, and on his others side was another boy. Scattered around them were young men, all dark skinned and dark haired, their faces plainly confused or worried. Carlisle felt Jasper calm the air, his subtle gift spreading until the children seemed to relax a little…suddenly two people emerged from the woods, a young woman and a younger boy. Carlisle and his family all stiffened, staring at the girl who gave them a strange, half disgusted look, and the boy, who, to their shock, grinned and lifted a hand in greeting. Edward chuckled softly, nodding to the boy who seemed more excited than anything to be here. Sam rolled his eyes, jerking his head, and the boy trotted over, standing beside him, nearly bouncing on his toes. Carlisle tried to suppress a smile, nodding to the boy as well, unable to ignore Sam's irritation.

"What do you want?" The boy asked finally. Jacob glanced between him and Carlisle, his gaze hopeful.

"We are here…to make a request of you." Sam lifted an eyebrow, but was silent, and Carlisle went on. "In regards to Isabella Swan…"

"No." Sam interrupted sharply, and Carlisle paused, able to feel the hackles of his entire family begin to rise. Jasper put out another wave of calm, although it was tinged with irritation.

"Excuse me?"

"You want my permission to kill a human!?"

"No." He said disdainfully. "No, I am not asking your permission. I'm asking if it would be possible to amend the treaty. And we have no intention of letting anything hurt Bella."

"You just want to suck the life out of her…make her like you!"

"We wish to turn her so that she can join our family." Carlisle corrected coldly. "And only because this is what she wants. She made this request of me."

Sam shook his head, about to speak, but the young boy stepped forward, looking at him sideways. "Sam…if this..."

"Don't." He snapped at the boy who crossed his arms and glared at the ground. Edward's eyes widened, and Carlisle wondered what the boy was thinking. The girl scowled at Sam, but didn't speak.

"This is what she wants." Jacob spoke softly, but he was asking Carlisle, not Sam who only glared at him.

"Yes. This is what she wants." He answered. "If necessary, Sam, we can meet again and you can speak to her." Sam snorted and Edward bared his teeth.

"In private?"

"We'd be nearby." Carlisle assured them, his smile dying, his eyes growing cold, the warning clear in his tone. He wouldn't leave her alone with these children, not when one of them had already hurt her.

"Can we amend the treaty or not?" Emmett demanded, his eyes dark with impatience, and Carlisle gave him a sharp look.

"I'm not giving you permission to take that girl's life." Sam told him simply. "If you bite Bella Swan, it will be a violation of the treaty, and we will retaliate."

"So, you're going to attack us if we turn Bella?" Jasper demanded, his voice soft and furious.

"We'll have no choice. You promised never to hurt a human."

"We don't want to hurt her! We want her in our family!" Rosalie cried in frustration, and Emmett put a comforting arm around her shoulders, pulling her to his side.

"The answer is no, bloodsucker." Sam looked at Carlisle now, his tone one of disgust, and Carlisle grimaced.

"Very well. Then we'll take our leave. Excuse us." He nodded courteously, but Sam stepped forward, his eyes narrowed.

"That's it? You're just going to…what give up?"

"We're going to plan our daughter's wedding." Esme said simply. "And get her ready to attend college with Edward…not to mention make preparations to move."

"There's no geographic limit on this treaty." Sam reminded them. Carlisle took his wife's hand, taking a step back and nodding.

"Of course. Thank you for your time." For a moment, Carlisle feared that Sam wouldn't allow them to leave…that the suspicion that they would break the treaty, which of course they would, would cause him to attack. He glanced over at Emmett and then at Edward who had moved in front of himself and Esme and who were backing away with them, nodding courteously, and pulling Alice and Rosalie along. Jasper kept in front of all of them, retreating slowly, his gift obviously moving to keep everyone calm. Sighing, Carlisle started to duck back into his car, waiting for Esme to climb in, then started the engine. Emmett, Rosalie, and Edward were back in the jeep next, and Jasper led the way back to the house on the motorcycle.

"That went well." He smiled grimly at his wife's strained tone, taking her hand once more. He hadn't thought that Sam would allow them to amend the treaty…it was mostly a formality to ask regardless. They would change Bella, as promised, and leave as soon as the wedding was over.

Edward sat in the back of the jeep, staring at the trees flash by, waiting until they were back on the road to dial Bella's phone. She answered after the second ring and he found himself sighing in relief. "Edward?" She asked, obviously torn between relief and worry.

"Hello, love." He spoke softly, ignoring Emmett who turned around and glanced at him, and Rosalie who was watching him openly. "How are you?"

"Fine…is everything okay? Is it over?"

"It's over. We're all on our way home. It went fine…well, they said no, but there was no fighting." Edward heard her sigh and looked down at the floor. "I'm sorry, love." He murmured, wishing they could have done something to convince him…but he could hear the man's mind. There was nothing they could say, nothing any of them could do…even Bella wouldn't be able to convince him. He was looking forward to wiping the vampires out of Forks…of finally doing what he thought his tribe was looking to him to do. Of course, the others had varying opinions. Jacob thought it was useless…he knew they were going to change her, no matter what the pack thought. And, surprisingly, he wasn't as against it as Edward would have suspected. He knew it was what Bella wanted. The youngest, a boy named Seth, whose big sister Leah had glared at them, had been surprisingly friendly, even in his thoughts. He'd wanted to hear more about Bella and their family…he'd even thought about striking up a conversation with them. But Sam would never allow it.

"It's okay." Bella said sadly. "Thank you for trying."

"We'll do it anyway." He told her simply. "It was all a formality anyway. We're all on our way home. We should be there in a few minutes."

"Okay…should I come home too?" The uncertainty in her voice was like a knife in his chest and he forced a small smile.

"Bella, you can stay as long as you want, love. Are you having fun?"

"Yeah…it's good to see Angela."

"Good. Come home whenever you're ready."

"Okay…I love you."

"I love you too, sweetheart. I'll see you soon. Be careful." He placed the phone back in his pocket, staring out the window once more, his gaze far away.

"She's okay?" Emmett confirmed softly, and Edward nodded.

"She seems fine." He answered with a soft smile. "Alice was right. She's having a good time with her friend." Emmett grinned, turning back to the road, and Rosalie relaxed.

"So back to planning the wedding?" Rosalie asked with a small smile, and Edward nodded. "And then?"

"And then we get out of Forks."

I pulled into the driveway, shutting off the truck as soon as I entered the garage. Immediately Edward's arms was around me, his lips against mine. "I missed you." He murmured against my lips, his hands rubbing up and down my back, one touching my head. "I missed you so much."

I smiled a little, winding my fingers in his hair. "It's been a few hours." I teased, grinning when he pulled away and laughed a little.

"I know. I can barely be away from you for a few minutes, much less hours." He told me simply.

"I missed you too." I confessed, and he kissed me again, then pulled away, sobering. "He said no?" I asked quietly, confirming what I already knew.

"It was a very firm no." He told me with a sad smile. "I am sorry...but there's no hurry. For us to leave. We're going to have the wedding, and then, probably after another week or so, we'll head to England where the story will be that you are attending college."

"What, are we all going to die in a plane crash on the way there?" I asked, shaking my head sadly, thinking about Angela, and my father, two people I'd reconnected with and didn't want to lose.

"Love, you don't have to..." I gave him a cool glare and he sighed, his lips quirking a little. "Honestly, disappearing suddenly will be our best bet. It's not that strange for people to just lose contact." He watched as I dropped my gaze to the ground, sighing softly. "No one said you couldn't email Angela...keep in touch without talking to her. As long as she never saw you..." I looked up hopefully. "We can worry about all of this later. For the moment, focus on finishing your finals, and then we'll focus on the wedding. Okay?" I nodded, forcing a little smile, and he kissed me once more.

"Okay." He took my hand, kissing me one more time, then pulled away reluctantly, leading me into the house where I was met enthusiastically by a small dog who leapt into my arms, attacking my face with her tongue.


	36. Chapter 36

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

I irritably wonder how much Carlisle valued that clock…it looked pretty old. The polished wood surface seemed to gleam in the light, and the beautiful pendulum looked like it was made of gold…it probably was. I wondered where he had gotten it. 'He probably made it himself.' I thought wryly. 'Or one of the others did. Gave it to him as a gift, 'just because.' Because honestly, they did stuff like that quite a bit. I studied the numbers, all perfectly formed roman numerals with tiny tick marks in between, probably gold as well. The outer edges of the clock were all carved into straight, clean lines, but at the top was a wooden, decorative piece with an old fashioned look pattern carved from the tock. The large, golden hand moved slowly around the clock, and the smaller one was pointing at the 2, although it was slowly inching toward the three. And I still hadn't finished my calculus final.

The rest had been easy enough. Carlisle and Esme had suggested I use Carlisle's study, since I would be further away from distraction (Emmett) and would hopefully be able to concentrate. The others had all effortlessly finished their finals and were dispersed throughout the house. Emmett and Jasper, strangely enough, weren't playing video games….I thought maybe they'd gone up to the library, but it sort of our of character…then again, they may have been studying something of their own. I knew that Jasper liked to study philosophy and that Emmett jumped from one topic to the next, never quite mastering anything, but just following his whims.

Edward had tried to keep Carlie downstairs, but she was having none of it. She liked Edward well enough, but since neither myself or Jasper (who was her other favorite) were downstairs, she'd insisted on joining one of us. The first ten minutes of my history exam, I'd been forced to listen to her whine and cry and bark and howl, constantly trying to escape from Edward and Alice who'd stayed downstairs with Esme. So finally I'd just told him (in a normal voice…vampire hearing did have it's perks) to just let her into the room with me. She wouldn't cause any trouble, and I hated hearing her cry. She a few seconds later, there was a frantic scratching at my door, and I had happily let her in, opening my arms and holding her for a moment before sitting down once more at Carlisle's desk where she had plopped down on my feet…and there she remained.

'Not helping.' I told myself, frustrated at my inability to focus. I thought I'd been ready for this one. Spanish had been terrible, but I was pretty sure I'd passed…maybe. If not, then it didn't really matter…thanks to what I was sure was a significant financial donation from the Cullen family, we had all already been accepted into a private college in England, in a city near where Carlisle had grown up. I looked forward to traveling there with him, having him lead us around and tell us more about his own early years. I knew they were somewhat unpleasant for him to remember, but he had seemed happy to oblige when I'd asked if he would tell me more stories about his human life while we were there.

'Still not helping.' I fought the urge to walk over to the wall of paintings and study them once more. They were my favorite in the house, although all of the artwork was beautiful. It was amazing to see Carlisle, the man who drove a Mercedes and worked in a hospital every day, captured in a painting from the Renascence, the lighting making him look like a gentle god hiding among mortals. 'Focus!' I sighed, looking back down at the paper. 'I need to finish this stupid final. Then I can look at the pictures all I want.' I smiled at my own scolding, feeling a bit like child. Carlie shifted on the ground, her nose catching some scent, then stood, trotting over to the door and then over to a bookshelf, exploring. I kept an eye on her as I forced myself to reread the problem in the middle of the page. It was something I knew how to do. Forcing myself to stay focused, I began to do the math.

I was just finishing my last problem when there was a soft knock on the door. I paused, my concentration broken, and told whomever it was to come in. Carlisle stepped into the room, glanced at my paper, and smiled softly at me. Carlie, happy to have someone who would give her some more attention, pawed at his pants leg, sitting at his feet and looking up at him pitifully, and he chuckled, reaching down and pulling her into his arms. "I'm sorry." He said softly as he kept her from licking him in the mouth. "I didn't mean to interrupt. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay."

I nodded, stretching out my hand. "I'm almost done." He nodded, gesturing to a chair.

"Do you mind?"

"Not at all." I answered with a shrug, going back to the problem and quickly finding my place again. He was silent as he sat, his hands running over the little dog's back and allowing her to cuddle up to him. Although I was her favorite, with Jasper at a close second, she would take just about anyone if they would cuddle with her…except for Emmett. He'd pretty much given up, although he sometimes tried to get her to let him pet her…it always ended with one of us scolding her for biting. Of course it didn't hurt Emmett, but we didn't want her to think it was okay to bite anyone. I thought it would probably help her opinion of him if Emmett would stop coming up behind me suddenly and pulling me into his arms, lifting me off the ground and spinning me around. But it was so much fun, I couldn't bear to ask him to stop. Most days, she just seemed more disapproving of him than anything, which caused the rest of us no end of amusement.

I finished the last problem and closed the booklet, turning to Carlisle once more. He stood, the dog still in his arms, and took the little book, placing an arm around me and kissing the top of my hair. "There. That wasn't so bad." He teased, and I grimaced, still throwing my arms around him and resting my head against his shoulder. "You did well in most of the others." He told me with a smile, and I knew that he and Esme had graded them before sending them to the school so I wouldn't worry about how I'd done.

"Spanish?" I asked doubtfully.

"No esta mal… pero deberíamos probablemente nunca trasladarse a España o México .." He told me, his voice teasing. I gave him a halfhearted glare, not bothering to try and mentally translate that, and he chuckled in amusement. "Maybe you'll learn to enjoy learning languages….you could always try another one." I sighed, not asking for a specific grade. "You'll have A's in all of the others. I'm sure you'll do fine in college."

I frowned up at him, still not sure what the plan was for that. I knew that we were supposedly going to college, and maybe the rest of them would. But I'd thought that moving was just our way of getting away from the wolves. I didn't think I would be able to attend school for a while…at least not until I was no longer a threat to the humans. "The school offers online classes." He told me in a conversational tone, his arm around my shoulders as he led me into the hallway. "If you're interested. If not, then you can wait as long as you need to. It will be hard at first, but I promise, we'll be with you the whole way, and you will be able to attend school if that's what you want? Okay? I'll work with you until your control is better." He stroked my hair, kissing my hair once more, then handed the little dog to me. "Come. I believe Alice is ready to talk to you about your wedding."

I winced a little. It had been a week since they'd tried to speak with the wolves, to no avail, and while I'd spent another day with Angela and two with my father, Alice and Rosalie had thrown themselves into wedding planning. I insisted over and over that I wanted the wedding kept small and simple, and Edward was on my side of the issue, but it seemed to be how my sisters released their pent up frustrations. They were planning decorations for the yard, where we were having the ceremony, and several tables in the yard would be used for the small reception. I'd decided on a cake with Jasper a few days ago, and had gone with Emmett to pick up decorations the day after. Rosalie had calmed down a bit, and was now playing nice with everyone else.

After much pleading on Emmett's part, I finally agreed to let him get a license online and marry us. Edward had made him promise to take it seriously, and of course he had innocently agreed. I wasn't worried…I didn't think Emmett would mess up our wedding. Rosalie would play the piano, and Carlisle and Jasper would stand in the front with Edward. Charlie had agreed to walk me down the aisle, and Alice would be my maid of honor. I'd asked Angela to be a bride's maid as well, and she and Alice were going to meet in a few days to try on dresses. Alice had already picked out one for me, and my weekend was apparently going to be devoted to having it fitted.

So I wondered what they could need from me now. Placing Carlie on the stairs, we moved down them, followed by Carlisle, and joined my sister in the living room. Edward was sitting on the sofa by the corner, with Alice on the other side. She held a huge scrapbook in her hands, one that we'd seen before, but I assumed that she'd changed some things. Emmett was loitering in the doorway to the kitchen and grinned at me. "¿Cómo fue tu prueba?"

"Cabrón." I muttered irritably, using the only Spanish insult I knew, and he laughed aloud, moving to the side of the sofa beside Alice. He answered me, chattering in Spanish, until I threw a pillow at him, making him chuckle. He grinned, sitting down beside Alice, and tossed the pillow back to me.

Edward, who'd watched the exchange in silent amusement, lifted his arm, pulling me to his side and kissing me quickly. I leaned my head against his shoulder, smiling in contentment when he pulled a blanket around me. It was always kept warm inside the house to accommodate me, and early on I had been instructed on how to work their complicated heating/cooling system, but when I was leaning against one of them, I usually needed a blanket to keep warm, as the cold from their skin seemed to seep into mine after only a few seconds. "You did well on the rest of your exams." He told me with a smile, kissing my temple. "I'm sure you'll do very well in college." I grimaced at that. I had always planned on going to college, but I didn't quite believe that I was smart enough for the small college he'd gotten me into.

"Okay, so now that Bella's done with high school, we can finally plan the wedding!" I lifted an eyebrow.

"Alice, you've been planning this weeding for a while…"

"Yeah, but now you can help!"

"I just picked out a cake, didn't I? And we deiced on the guest list and…"

She waved my words away, placing the scrapbook in Edward's lap. "Okay, so these are the final details. You still have to pick a few things…flowers, appetizers …we've already sent out announcements, but the place settings still need work, and…" I began to tune her out, shifting against Edward and closing my eyes as I rested my head against him. He smiled softly, rubbing his thumb over my arm, and I felt his lips on my hair once more. "Hey! Are you even listening! The wedding is in less than two months and we still have to get everything ready!"

I started to tell her to calm down, but she looked pretty intense and I didn't really want to argue with her, so I sighed, mumbling an apology, and tried to listen to her ramble about the wedding for a while. I found that I was sort of looking forward to it…and I knew Edward was. Well, I think he was more interested in the marrying me part than the actual wedding. He'd already offered twice to take me to Vegas in the middle of the night and elope. I laughed a little at the thought, knowing that Alice would be devastated. But at this point the invitations were sent out and she and Rosalie had put so much work into it…so I couldn't even consider it.

Emmett left when Alice opened the cover of the scrapbook, ruffling my hair and disappearing up the stairs. I barely noticed him go as I stared at the complicated looking blueprints…actual blueprints, for the yard design. Not questioning why Alice needed to redo the entire yard, I simply nodded and tried to pay attention as she explained that she, Rosalie, and Esme would be doing the landscaping in the next few weeks. The wedding was going to be held at the start of July, a little under a month away, and it was going to be sunny and warm all day. Therefore, the ceremony would occur in the evening when the sun went down, during twilight. Edward had once told me that it was the easiest time for them…the time when they could go out among humans without being detected.

I knew it would be beautiful. Alice wouldn't all me to see all of the decorations…she was relying on Edward for that. She said that she wanted me to be surprised when I walked down the aisle, and I didn't mind. I was ready for it to be over, both worried and excited about what I knew would come after, although it wasn't something we'd discussed much. The actual change was what I worried about. It would hurt. A lot. It was, according to my family minus Alice, the worst pain they'd ever suffered, and something I would apparently never forget. Carlisle had promised to try morphine before the venom was introduced to my body, hoping that the drug would dull the pain I was sure to feel.

'But what's going to actually happen?' I wondered as Alice continued to talk about flowers. Would I just lay down in my bed and wait for Carlisle to bite me? Or would he inject the venom like he would the morphine? How long would it take? Had Edward said three days? Or four? I wasn't sure….would the morphine even work? I hoped so. I wasn't looking forward to the pain, and if the incident at the ballet studio had been any indication, the pain would be unbearable. 'But remember what comes after.' Forever. Forever with my family. That's why I was doing this.

"Bella!" Alice cried in exasperation, and I forced a small smile, ignoring Edward's concerned gaze. "I said, silver and white? Or black and gold?" She pointed to a page and I realized that we'd only gotten a few pages into the scrapbook. With a sigh, I pointed to the silver place card.

Edward sat stiffly at the piano, trying to concentrate for long enough to play. But it was no use. After an hour and a half of wedding talk, Alice had finally granted them a reprieve, and Bella had excused herself to take Carlie out. He knew that something was wrong. She'd had that look on her face while Alice was talking…the one that told him that she was worrying. And she'd sat differently…her body stiff with stress and worry. He didn't want to make her think that he didn't trust her…or that he didn't think she could handle things on her own. That was never his intention. But he couldn't help the worry. 'What if she has a panic attack and she's all alone outside? What if she falls and hurts herself? What if a wild bear wanders onto the property…'

"Will you stop?" Jasper groaned, glaring at him from the sofa. "You're killing me over here." He grumbled, letting Edward feel his irritation. "If you're that worried, go after her. She won't mind."

"She wants to be alone." He argued a little halfheartedly. She did this sometimes…going outside with the dog to be by herself. He understood…she needed time by herself. They all did. But he worried. Until she was indestructible like him, he'd always worry…maybe even then.

Jasper sighed, jumping to his feet, and headed for the door, grumbling under his breath. "Fine. I'll go after her. Her emotions are less annoying than yours." Edward chuckled softly as his brother raced through the door, the door slamming shut behind him. He knew his brother was only messing with him…they all worried about Bella. His brother's thoughts had been revolving around her as well, and he'd been thinking about going and checking on her.

Jasper grinned when the dog heard him before his sister did. Carlie leapt into his arms, licking his face and squirming happily. He and Emmett had been making some plans, and he hadn't spent much time with the little dog, apparently hurting her feelings. Bella, who was seated beside the stream on a tree stump, looked over and laughed softly. She was just out of view of the house, but any of them could have heard her if she'd called. There were no animals around…well, nothing dangerous. And her heartbeat was steady and normal. Her lungs were working fine, her emotions were stable. He smiled in relief and greeting after his two second detailed analysis, sitting down beside her and letting the dog down. "Did Alice finally finish her scrapbook?"

"No…we've got another few pages. But I think she noticed that I wasn't paying attention." He grinned, but his amusement was short lived when her eyes remained a little sad.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He wondered quietly, his shoulder just touching hers. He took a brief second to be proud of himself as the wind blew her scent in his direction. A few months ago, it would have been dangerous for him to be alone with her like this, and the burning in his throat would have been his undoing. But now…it was just an ever present state. His throat always burned. She was nearly always in the house and her scent was everywhere. But he was used to it, he realized with a pleased smile. He was no longer a danger to her….well, he wouldn't take it that far. He was still glad that she would be changed soon. It would be nice not to want to kill her all the time…even in the back of his mind. But he knew that if she accidently spilled blood around him, then there was still danger. She had before…once at the house when she was cooking, and he'd been okay, but he didn't want a repeat of that experiment, not when his sister's life could be on the line.

"The wedding is in less than a month." He frowned a little at her abrupt statement.

"Yes…have you changed your mind? About getting married?" He asked quietly, his hand on her back. They would never force her…especially not Edward. He would call the wedding off if he suspected that she was unhappy with the idea of marrying him.

"No." She shook her head, and he knew that her denial was genuine. "I want to get married…" She wasn't looking at him, even as the clouds parted and the sun began to shine down on the little clearing where they sat, his skin's reaction throwing rainbows onto her face and arms. "I'll be joining your family."

Jasper frowned a bit. Surely she didn't have a problem with that. He knew that they already saw her as one of them…marriage was just…Jasper paused, his thoughts coming to a screeching halt. "Ah." He smiled faintly at her, his expression more grim than amused. "You're worried about that." She did look at him now, and he could sense her fear. Jasper moved his hand from her back to her shoulder, holding her against his side and letting her rest her head on his shoulder.

"It's going to hurt." She whispered the words, her voice small and frightened, and he squeezed her a little harder.

"Carlisle is going to try the morphine. It may help. And if it doesn't we'll be there the whole time." He promised quietly. "We won't leave you. And it only lasts for about three days." She winced and he kissed her hair. "You know that you don't have to do this."

"I want to." She insisted feebly, and he didn't try to argue. He knew that she wanted this, but he also knew that this was frightening for her. She was going to go through three days of hell to become something completely different…in a way. Of course she would still be Bella…still be his baby sister. But she would also be a different creature, to some, a monster. They didn't know how this change would affect her, and she was bound to be worried.

"We'll help you. After the change is complete. We'll all still be here. We won't let you hurt anyone, and we won't let anything hurt you." He swore quietly. "It takes some getting used to, but you've got seven of us to help you."

She seemed to relax a little and he rubbed his hand on her warm arm, reaching down with one hand to pet the growing puppy at their feet. She whined and nosed at him, scratching at his leg happily. "Plus, Carlie's going to be with you the whole time." He teased, and she laughed softly, pulling the dog into her arms and kissing her head. He could feel her emotions swirling around him, her love for him the strongest of her contentment and happiness, and he smiled, letting his own emotions touch her. "I love you too, little sister." He told her softly, resting the side of his head against hers. "I won't let anything happen to you."

"You can't." Sam glared at him, but didn't argue. They all sat around the fire, Jacob on Sam's right, Quill and Embry on the other side, and Leah and Seth across from them. A few more guys sat around in the shadows, but they weren't nearly as interested in this conversation as the rest of them. Seth continued to glare back at Sam. "They haven't done anything!"

"They're going to!" Sam snapped. "They're going to kill her!"

"No, they're going to change her!" Seth argued. Usually mild mannered and to chipper for Jacob's tastes, Seth was actually angry now. "And he said that it's what she wants!"

"How do we know he's not lying?" Sam demanded.

"Why don't we ask her?" Jacob suggested, speaking up for the first time.

"Yeah! Ask her! If she wants to be a…vampire like them, they why should we stop her? Unless she hurts a human, she wouldn't be breaking the treaty.

"As much as it pains me to admit it, my brother's right. If the weirdo wants to be a bloodsucker, more power to her. It's really none of our business."

"Don't you get it?" Sam shouted, standing and glaring at the rest of them. The boys in the shadows glanced up. "They've brainwashed her…or they've got her under some spell or something! Why would she want to be one of them?"

"They're her family." Jacob's answer was sad…listless. He believed his own words, and that hurt more than anything. He couldn't deny that the dream of her coming back to him was still alive, but it was dying, slowly but surely. He could see in the way that Edward protected her…he loved her. More than Jacob could understand. And judging from the meeting a week ago, the rest of the family loved her as well, even the blonde girl that use to scare her. They weren't brainwashing her…they just loved her. Why would she want to leave them now? "She loves them." Sam rolled his eyes, dropping back down on his seat.

"Regardless, we can't do anything to them. They haven't broken the treaty." Leah reminded him. Quill and Embry both nodded, giving each other long looks.

"But they're going to!" Sam snapped.

"It doesn't matter." Jacob said quietly. "We can't just attack them for no reason. There are seven of them, and they can all fight. Not to mention, they probably have vampire friends." He sighed. "They'd wipe us out if we threatened them…or Bella."

"There are ten of us." Sam reminded him, his tone soft and dangerous.

"Nine. I won't fight them when they haven't done anything." There was a low murmur throughout the group, and Seth spoke up.

"I won't either."

"Me either." Leah sounded more exasperated with them than angry at Sam, but he knew that she didn't like the idea of attacking the Cullen family for no reason.

Sam didn't argue or give a command, but his jaw clenched tightly and he glared at Jacob. 'Go ahead and try to command me.' Jacob thought angrily. 'I won't let you hurt Bella. After everything I've done, I can give her that.'


	37. Chapter 37

"Are you sure you're not nervous about the wedding?" Angela's smile was teasing, but underneath her amusement at my inability to eat an entire bite of pasta without freezing halfway through was concern. Not wanting to give her the wrong idea, but also knowing that I couldn't exactly lie, I decided to compromise.

"Maybe a little." I admitted softly, forcing a small smile and placing the fork back on my plate. We'd decided to spend the day together since she was done with her finals and I wasn't quite ready to let my friend go just yet. Carlisle had work, Esme was taking my final exams to the school, along with everyone else's, and Edward was hunting. Emmett and Jasper hadn't gone with him…I wasn't sure what they were up to actually. "I don't really like being the center of attention…especially not in front of a lot of people."

"I thought it was going to be a small wedding."

"It is…"

"Then what's the problem?" I had to smile a little. I couldn't exactly tell her that, despite Jasper's reassurance, I was still afraid of the transformation into a vampire that I would soon be experiencing. Not that I'd spoken to anyone else…I couldn't give Edward a reason to change his mind, and I didn't want Carlisle to back out either. None of their minds were really safe from Edward regardless…although he hadn't said anything, so I guessed he hadn't been paying attention to Jasper's thoughts.

Carlie, who I'd brought along for the ride, lay between us on the sofa, and I could hear her little brothers playing upstairs. Her mom was up there with them, and I suppose she was giving us privacy. "I'm still going to be the center of attention, and I have to walk down the aisle…I'll probably fall. And then…" I sighed, rubbing Carlie's head. "What if I forget what to say?"

"I think you can remember 'I do.'" I laughed with her, leaning back against the sofa and placing the plate of pasta beside me, telling Carlie 'no' when she looked a little too interested.

"I don't know…" There was something in the way she was looking at me that told me that she wasn't convinced that I was giving her the whole truth…she suspected that I was keeping something from her.

"Are you sure it's just the wedding?" She asked quietly, her mirth disappearing. "You can tell me….if you want to. If something else is wrong…" I shook my head, forcing a smile.

"We're moving so far away."

"We can still email each other." I swallowed hard, nodding. She was right, I told myself firmly. We could still keep in contact for a little while. And she would move on with her life, forgetting about me eventually. And…she would be my last good human friend, I supposed. Carlie nudged my hand when I stopped petting her and I smiled down at the little dog, my eyes still stinging. "Bella?" I felt her take my hand, squeezing gently. "You okay?"  
"Yeah." I took a deep breath, trying to focus on the wedding details. "So Alice is taking you shopping for a dress?"

"Yeah…she told me that she would buy me the dress…I told her that I could…"

"No…she's probably going to insist on some designer we've never even heard of from France." She laughed softly. "Esme and Carlisle are paying for the wedding, and they're keeping her in line." I had no idea if that was true…for all I knew, they were encouraging her. Angela rubbed Carlie's belly when she rolled over, kicking the air when my friend began to scratch between her front legs. But I didn't want Angela to feel bad, and I'd given up trying to keep Alice from spending too much money. "I find it's just best to let Alice have her way." I advised her with a smile.

"And what are you doing this weekend?" She wondered, letting Carlie wriggle into her arms happily.

"Um…no big plans. Carlisle is meeting with Charlie about wedding stuff I think…I told him that I could talk to him, but I think he wants to." I wasn't sure how that was going to go…or even how I felt about it. But he insisted. Esme was going to help Rosalie with something…maybe flowers. I didn't ask. Edward and I planned to spend Saturday at home and maybe go out on Sunday since it was going to be cloudy all day. I wasn't sure about Emmett and Jasper…I assumed they were hanging out with us, and I looked forward to spending the day with Edward and our brothers. Maybe they'd teach me how to play a new video game, or maybe they'd try to show me their chess game. Either way, I was probably going to enjoy it.

Edward wanted to go over the catalog from the college with me, even though I still wasn't sure that I'd be able to attend college, and show me some photos of their house in England. It was just as big as this one, apparently, with more land than this one. He told me that we would probably never be able to return to this house and I hated to think that I'd never again get to spend the day in our giant living room, or explore the forests and Esme's gardens. I forced myself to smile though. I didn't want to let Angela to know that I was sad about that…about leaving this city that I thought I would hate so much.

Angela was good at seeing through me…or maybe I was just a terrible liar. Either way, she squeezed my hand once more. "I'm going to miss you too." She told me softly, making me smile. "Hey, have you seen your wedding dress yet?"

"Nope. Still a big secret. Alice is going to show me sometime before the wedding so I can get fitted. I hope. Then again, maybe she'll keep me in the dark until the day of." Angela smiled. "She's paranoid about Edward seeing, and of course Emmett can't keep a secret." I stared down at the little dog who was working her way into my lap. "I'm getting excited." I admitted, and it was true. "Alice…she's amazing at this kind of thing. And…I'm looking forward to marrying Edward. Alice showed me the scrapbook, and…I think it's going to be beautiful." Angela smiled, leaning forward as I spoke. "And everyone that I love is going to be there."

"Are you excited about seeing your mom?" I paused, and she must have read my face because she took my hand once more.

"She's not coming." I told her simply, keeping my smile in place, but I could feel how fake it was.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really." She nodded, backing off a little.

"Okay then. Let's find something to watch. Or we can go to a movie?" She offered, and I nodded, thinking that sounded like more fun. There were a few interesting ones that I knew Edward would have no interest in, as I was a fan of romantic comedies while he merely suffered through most of them for me. But like romance novels, I devoured them, enjoying the fact that I knew everything would work itself out by the end of the two hours.

So I sent a quick text to Edward, least he panic when I didn't answer my phone for two hours, and another to Carlisle, just in case. With all of my bases covered, we decided that Angela would drive, and I would buy snacks. After all, my new parents were sure to be proud of me for spending money.

Emmett raced alongside his brother, neither trying to beat the other, their strides nearly in sync. They had all day. Carlisle had left for work around ten, and Bella had gone to visit her friend. Edward was out hunting, killing time until Bella returned. Rosalie and Alice were out as well, on a grand shopping trip that somehow related to Rosalie's closet…he didn't really ask. If Alice had seen their plans, she gave no notice, only quietly leaving with Rosalie and apparently focusing on her shopping trip, as Edward hadn't paid them any mind…then again, he was always worrying about Bella, so he doubted Edward noticed them much anyway.

Of course, they worried about her too, prompting them to quietly follow her over to Angela's, using up some of their time, but it had been worth it to make sure she arrived safely. Of course, as soon as she'd arrived, they'd left, not wanting to stalk her. From there they had ran at their top speeds, nearly two hundred miles an hour if one were to keep count. It would take them about six hours to get to the little city in California.

From what they'd found on Jeremy Johnson, he'd lived in a Phoenix up until Bella had moved in with her father…years after her mother had broken up with him. 'Why?' Emmett had wondered, his stomach turning at the possible answer. Jasper had reasoned that he probably, like most humans, didn't really have the money to move, or maybe he didn't have the desire. Either way, Emmett couldn't help but wonder; had he seen Bella, the young girl he'd molested, as she'd walked down the street, gone to school…had she ever seen him again? He shuddered to think. They'd decided to go for him first. Mark Andrews lived in San Diego, so they'd get him on the way back.

Now, five hours into the run and only one to go, Emmett wondered what Bella would think of them doing this. "You can't be guilty yet. We haven't done anything." Unlike him, Jasper apparently felt no remorse for what they were about to do behind the backs of their family. "They deserve worse than what we're going to do." He older vampire reminded him. "Did you forget what they did to her?" Emmett flinched, shaking his head. They'd all heard stories…all from the girl's own mouth. They'd heard her sob in their father's arms, in Edward's…heck in their own arms. They'd tried to comfort her as nightmares where the monsters could still get to her made her scream and sob until she was hoarse. Yes…they deserved this. "What if they're going after other kids?" Jasper persisted when his guilt didn't dissipate quickly enough. "What if some other little girl is going through what Bella did? Or what if they're doing worse?" Emmett knew that Bella wouldn't want that…she'd want them to put a stop to that if they could. And he could.

The house was small, run down. The white paint was peeling off the wooden slate siding, and the small bicycle in the front was rusted. Emmett paused beside his brother, glancing over at him. There were three humans in the house. One very young, if the heartbeat was anything to go by. They were only here for one of them, but they'd have to get inside if they were going to figure out if they had the right address.

Jasper stepped up to the door, knocking loudly, and both were surprised when a young girl who reminded Emmett achingly of Rosalie, opened the door. The child was maybe eleven, with long, curly blonde hair and the blue eyes that he knew his wife had possessed before her change. She was gangly and long legged, and he knew that she'd be taller than most boys soon. The girl bit down on her lip, and he was so reminded of Bella, the habit that she'd had since he'd met her, that he knew that if the man was in this house around this little girl, he'd kill him. "Hello…is you mom home?" The little girl blinked, staring up at his brother, and shaking her head. "Is your dad?" She shook her head again, this time in distaste, but whatever Jasper sensed from her, he didn't seem to like it, because he stiffened.

"He's not my dad."

Emmett moved forward, crouching in front of the little girl. "Can we talk to him?" She nodded, backing up and seemingly inviting them in. Glancing at one another, they followed, surprised that the girl didn't seem wary about them. Most humans were frightened of them anyway, and children were especially frightened of them…probably because of Emmett's size and Jasper's…propensity for frightening people. Hesitantly, they followed the girl into the house, and Emmett shut the door behind him.

"Sara, what are you…" Emmett froze as soon as the man came into view. He looked almost the same, a little older, his hair littered with grey. He felt his jaw clench as the man stared at the two teenagers in his living room in surprise. "Who are you?" He demanded. The girl was standing by the wall, watching the three of them with a mixture of worry and curiosity.

"I'm Emmett Cullen and this is my brother, Jasper. We need to speak with you." He lifted an eyebrow, crossing his arms.

"You just barge in here and you think I'm going to have a chat? Get out of my house or I'll call the cops!" Jasper snorted, but glanced over at the girl.

"Sara, do you have any brothers or sisters?" He asked, his voice gentle.

'Having Bella around all the time is making us soft.' Emmett thought in amusement. The little girl nodded.

"My little sister. She's in the bedroom. She's taking a nap."

"Can you go in there with her?" Apparently persuaded by his mood control, she went without complaint, giving Jeremy a wide berth, and Emmett could feel Jasper's fury before it was reigned in.

"I don't know who…" Emmett's hand was around his throat as soon as they heard the bedroom door shut, and he held him aloft, his hand cutting off the majority of his air, and his words died in his throat.

"We're here to talk about someone we think you might know. A little girl, about thirteen when you first met her. Isabella Swan." Jasper snarled in response to whatever emotion the man felt.

"He knows her. It's him." The man stared wide eyed between them, his body jerking as he fought for air. Emmett let off a little, allowing him enough air to gasp.

"I swear, I didn't…" Emmett cut him off once more, his voice low and fierce.

"Lie to me, and I'll make it hurt more. You dated her mother, Renee. Ringing any bells?" Jeremy nodded now, his eyes wide and terrified. His hands clawed at Emmett's but his short nails could do nothing against Emmett's rock hard skin.

"I dated her mother." He managed, and that was all Emmett needed to know.

"She was thirteen." Jasper snarled, the air around them close, and Emmett could nearly taste his fury. "A thirteen year old little girl you filthy, disgusting pig."

"She was…" Emmett didn't allow him to speak or defend himself. He wouldn't listen to it.

"You deserve worse than what I'm going to do." He informed the man regretfully. "Isabella Swan is my baby sister." Now the man's stark terror was the most obvious emotion in the room, but Emmett couldn't bring himself to enjoy it as he held the man so that his face was level with his own. "And no one hurts my baby sister." His hands only needed to tighten a fraction before his neck snapped…it barely took any effort on Emmett's part. He found that he was sad when the man gasped, a quick, pained sound, then went limp in his hand…sad that he hadn't been able to kill him a little more slowly. But there were few ways of killing humans that didn't involve the risk of blood or noise, and he wouldn't risk the two children in the other room coming in and being even further traumatized. Besides, they were short on time. Emmett led him drop to the floor with a muffled thump and Jasper grabbed his foot, dragging him over to the sofa and letting him rest beside it, giving him a swift, disgruntled kick that broke at least a few ribs.

"I get to kill the next one." He grumbled. Emmett glanced down the hallway, then at the shabby little room that they found themselves in. While Jasper waited in the living room, he strode down the hall, knocking quietly on the door where he could hear the girls' heartbeats. Sara opened the door a crack and stared at him warily. Reaching into his wallet, he pulled out a wad of bills, not checking them to see what they were, and placed them in her hands, ignoring her confused, surprised look.

"When is your mom getting home?"

"Not till seven…"

"Okay, do you have any neighbors that you can stay with?" She nodded. "Can you get your sister?" She stared at him warily, but he could feel Jasper's influence, apparently easy to use on children, and the little girl moved back into the room, stuffing the money in her pocket, and returned dragging a four or five year old little girl with matching blonde hair that hid behind her sister. "Come on. You need to go stay with them. Are they close?" She nodded again, and he led her through the, thankfully out of view of the living room, back door, watching as she, under Jasper's silent manipulation, walked quickly to the house next door and knocked on the back door.

"Why did you give her money?" Jasper wondered as they raced through the front door, hurrying to get out of the area before the neighbors showed up, wondering what was going on.

"Who knows what kind of hell the poor kid's been through? Just thought I could give her something." Jasper didn't answer, but he didn't seem to disagree. Actually, all Emmett could feel from his brother was anticipation. Emmett thought of Mark Andrews and hoped the guy didn't have any kids in his house.

I felt like I could fall asleep as I sat down in the cab of Angela's car, the dim light of the evening sky still too bright for my eyes, now accustomed to the dark theatre. It was nearly four in the evening, and the movie, while really good, had me ready for a nap. Then again, two hours in a dark theatre usually did that to me. Angela laughed when I yawned for the tenth time in a few minutes as we drove back to Forks from Port Angeles. I checked my phone and, when there were no new messages, I put it back in my pocket, curling up on the seat with my eyes closed. "No fair." Angela laughed. "If I can't sleep, neither can you." I groaned, stretching out in the dull light of the cab, and Angela switched on the radio. "Did you like it?"

"Yeah. Not spectacular, but it was funny." She nodded, pulling onto the expressway and heading for home. I knew that I would probably drive home when we got to her house, since I didn't want to wait too late. My whole family seemed to get nervous when I drove after dark.

Carlie, who we'd left with her mom and little brothers, all of whom loved the good natured little dog, leapt into my arms as soon as we walked though the door, licking my face happily, and sparing a lick for Angela who leaned in and stroked her head. "I'd better get home. Thank you for watching her, Mrs. Webber."

"No problem. Come back anytime." The woman hugged me, the warm arms around me almost foreign at this point, and the little twin boys waved to me, accustomed to my presence in their house by now, especially because I brought my dog. I had initially planned on leaving her at home, but Angela had been dying to meet her and her mother promised that it was okay, so I hoped that I would get a chance to bring her back soon. I placed her in the truck beside me, hugging Angela one last time, and pulled out of their driveway.

It was good to drive again…to be by myself with Carlie, and to not be afraid. Of course, I was careful. I'd always been a careful driver. But I was learning to be careful about my thoughts…to dwell on things that I could control, and that were actually important. This meant avoiding topics like my mother, and anything related to her. But when Angela had brought her up…I'd been briefly worried. Still, I was able to change the topic, thanks to Angela's policy of no prying, and that was the important part, I told myself.

It was a short drive to the Cullen house…to my house, and I parked in the driveway, shut off the car, and carried Carlie into the house. There were no cars in the driveway, but I didn't think that Edward had taken his car to go hunting. I stepped inside the house, shutting the door softly behind me, and let Carlie down. Before I had made it into the living room, Esme greeted me with open arms, and I stepped into them happily. As if a switch had been pulled, Alice and Rosalie materialized as well, Alice greeting me with a kiss on the cheek and Rosalie nodding and smiling in greeting. "So you did like it." Alice was smug and I laughed, nodding.

"It was pretty good. We had fun."

"Good. I knew you would." She grinned, moving back over to the sofa. "Wanna see what we bought?" I smiled at her, laughing softly. I'd missed my sisters. So despite the fact that shopping didn't interest me all that much, I nodded, letting her showcase her many new outfits for me, while Rosalie narrated in a bored tone from my side. Esme laughed as Alice grew more and more ridiculous, eventually modeling as though she were on a catwalk, and even Rosalie had to laugh. "Come on, Bella. I got you some new things too!" She cried, reaching out for my hand, but I shook my head, tucking them under my legs.

"No way. I'll try them on later, thanks." She laughed, still trying to get a hold of me, but obviously just playing, as I knew she could easily force me up there with her if she wanted to. Esme sat on my other side, putting her arm around me and watching as Alice wound down, her impromptu fashion show coming to an eventual end when she ran out of new outfits and dropped down on the loveseat as though she were tired, making me laugh again. "Now you've got to put it all away." I teased.

"Oh yeah. I'm sure that'll take forever." She played along, rolling her eyes.

"Make Jasper do it." I suggested with a laugh, then paused. "Where are Emmett and Jasper?" Alice stiffened a little across from me, and I was sure Esme caught her reaction, but she hurried to give an explanation.

"They went hunting. They're probably going to play around for a while…they should be back tonight." I could tell Esme wasn't quite fooled, but before she could question it, Carlisle's car pulled into the driveway, and almost before I could register the fact, Esme was in his arms, his lips on her hair. Alice and Rosalie touched my shoulder or patted my head and headed upstairs, probably to work on their closets, and Carlisle sat beside me, pulling me into his arms.

"Did you have fun today?" He wondered, and as always, I was surprised that he genuinely seemed interested to hear about my day. Unable to feel embarrassed about being the center of his attention when he was obviously so happy to listen, I told him about my day with Angela, and Esme sat on his other side, her hand in his, as they listened. Finally, when I'd finished and was about to ask him about his day, he spoke up. "Alice said that you were worried." He told me softly, his eyes gentle. "About what we were going to do after the wedding." I pursed my lips, looking down at the sofa, and although I knew I should be used to my all-knowing sister, I was still a little annoyed. "I'm sorry." He told me gently, stroking the top of my hair and moving a strand behind my ear. "I just wanted to let you know that you can talk to me about anything. Whenever you're ready." And with a talent for direction that was unmatched, he turned the conversation seamlessly toward the hospital and a case he'd worked on.

Edward hesitated to approach the house. He could hear Bella's heart from the lawn, and he longed to be at her side once more, but he also knew what his brothers were doing. He closed his eyes, trying to compose his expression. Carlisle was worrying about Bella, but was also happy to spend time with his family. And Esme was curious about Alice's slip earlier, but also content to be with Carlisle and Bella. He couldn't give them away…especially not to Bella. While Carlisle would probably find out at some point, he couldn't bear the thought of what it would do to Bella…she'd most likely blame herself, or fear for her brothers, or the rest of them….he sighed, scolding himself for his attitude. Of course he knew that she was hardly an invalid. She could take knowing the truth…usually. But he didn't want her to think that this was her fault. He couldn't imagine her being okay with Emmett and Jasper's plans.

So he took a deep breath, composing himself, and stepped forward, heading into the house with a pleasant, calm expression, pretending that he wasn't covering for his brothers while they committed two murders. Focusing on his happiness at seeing Bella, obviously happy to be with their family and to have spent a day with her friend, he stepped through the front door, opening his arms to Carlie who leapt up to greet him, unaware of the pair of eyes on him from the forest.


	38. Chapter 38

Seth took a deep breath, glad that the young looking guy with reddish brown hadn't heard him. He'd followed Bella to the house, racing along in his wolf form, glad that Sam was occupied with Emily for the day. Leah…well he didn't hear anyone else so he assumed she was hanging around the house or something. This was all under Jacob's orders.

"I don't think they'll change her before the wedding." He'd told Seth quietly after the younger boy had gotten out of school for the day. "But keep an eye on them. If they change her, I'll have to be ready to fight Sam. But Edward will hear me in a second. Try to stay over a mile away…I'm not sure how far he can hear." The wind shifted and Seth flinched, hoping none of them were outside to smell him. Thanks to his wolfy senses, his eyesight was nearly perfect, and he could see across the clearing and through the opening in the trees, just able to make out the Cullen home and the silhouettes within the house through the window.

He crouched down after about an hour, daring to move a little closer, and thought about shifting into his human form. He was starting to get stiff, and honestly, just hanging around outside was getting boring. He worried that Sam would decide to shift and hear him...or one of the others. Besides,it would be easier than…..

"And what do you think you're doing?" He froze when the almost familiar voice spoke from behind him. Whirling around and crouching down, he pinned his ears back, tail tucked between his legs as he faced the large man. He was the biggest of the Cullens, tall and formidable looking, with eyes that, at the meeting, had held both mischief and a promise of trouble. At the moment, though, he just looked angry. There was a soft rustle and another one, this one tall and blonde, was suddenly standing beside him.

'They won't believe me.' He realized. 'And if they attack, Sam will use it as an excuse to attack…and he'll probably kill Bella too.' He backed up a step, then bolted, moving as quickly as he could toward the house. 'Edward!' His was the only name he knew, and he yelled it over and over in his mind. He could feel the two vampires on his tail, and right as the blonde leader and the one he'd been yelling for came out of the house, he was tackled to the ground, yelping loudly as he felt his leg snap under him.

Whining in pain, he tried to stop the loud, painful noises from escaping as he cowered away from the giant that had tackled him and who had jumped to his feet once more. "Emmett, Jasper, stop!" The blonde moved between them while Edward spoke too quickly for him to catch all of the words. Both of his attackers disappeared them, apparently going inside, and Seth yelped when the blonde man touched his front leg, fighting back the instinctual urge to bite. "I'm sorry, Seth." He said softly, his cool hand gentle on his shoulder, and Seth looked over into the blonde man's gentle eyes as he gave the wolf a faint smile. "I didn't go to veterinary school. Can you change into your human form? All of the girls are in the house."

Seth sighed, deciding there was no help for it. Besides, he surely didn't want Sam to find out about this. He felt his shape blur, and gasped in pain when, as a human, his arm shifted. Edward moved forward, and suddenly he was wearing pants once more, a fact for which he was quite grateful. Edward acknowledged his thanks with a silent nod, crouching beside the blonde man who was carefully running a hand down his arm.

"Sam doesn't know you're here." Edward clarified as the doctor examined him. Seth was grateful for the distraction.

"No. Jacob asked me to come. Said we'd need to be ready to…" He paused, clenching his jaw when his arm was shifted, but shook his head at the doctor's apology. "….ready to fight Sam. If you changed her."

"We wouldn't change her here." The doctor informed him softly, and Seth took a second to be irritated that he couldn't remember the man's name.

"Carlisle." Edward said the name softly, and the doctor glanced up at him. Edward shook his head. "He didn't know your name." Seth was embarrassed for a second until the doctor chuckled softly.

"My apologies Seth. I should have taken the time to introduce myself." Seth couldn't help but disagree…he'd rather him fix his arm before it started to heal crooked. Edward lifted an eyebrow and said something softly to Carlisle who gently scooped him into his cold arms and, in less than a blink of an eye, he was laying on a sofa. There was no one else in the room, and Edward disappeared and reappeared with a black bag. Suddenly there was a loud, furious barking, and Seth glanced up in confusion, glad for the distraction. Carlisle and Edward laughed softly.

"Bella's dog doesn't like Emmett very much." Edward explained with a small, fond smile, and Seth managed a faint grin of amusement at the thought of any kind of dog trying to attack the giant vampire. He grimaced suddenly when the doctor moved his arm, and Edward sighed regretfully. "Emmett and Jasper were worried that you were here to hurt Bella." Edward informed him softly as a needle was slipped into his skin and something pushed into his veins. A short second later, he was unable to suppress a pained cry when his bone was pushed quickly back into place. He lay his head back on the pillow that had somehow appeared there and groaned softly.

"Wasn't gonna hurt her. We're trying to protect her."

"Yes…and we appreciate that." Edward told him softly, his voice thoughtful. "I'm not sure you know how much. Emmett would like to apologize." The doctor was wrapping something on his arm, but the moment of pain relief was already fading, and the brief tiredness he'd felt was going with it. He clenched his jaw, not about to complain, when the doctor frowned at him.

"Are you in pain? I gave you plenty of morphine." He stared to check his bag when Seth chuckled a little weakly.

"Yeah, pain meds don't really work on us. Something about our blood or temperature or something." Carlisle frowned at that, and he could tell that the vampire doctor didn't like that he was in pain. "Don't worry. It's only for another hour or so. We heal pretty quick." Carlisle nodded slowly, curiosity raging in his eyes.

"Seth…would you object if I were to draw some of your blood for medical purpose?" Edward chuckled and Seth could see that Carlisle was dying to do some research on werewolves.

"Sure, Doc. Take as much as you want…I mean….with a needle….not…uh…" Carlisle laughed aloud when the boy gestured to his mouth, placing a hand on the younger boy's shoulder.

"Of course.'"

I watched Jasper and Emmett worriedly. They'd come running into the house after Edward had raced out the door with Carlisle, and had spoken quietly to Rosalie and Alice. Esme had stood, speaking in what might have been an authoritative tone…it was hard to tell. Then Emmett had scooped me into his arms, and then we'd been in my bedroom, Jasper leaning against the door. Carlie, who'd been laying at my side on the sofa, had been snarling and barking furiously, scratching at the door until Jasper let her in. "What are you guys doing!?" I'd demanded, stepping away from Emmett as soon as he'd let me down, and Carlie had immediately been at my side, her teeth bared. Absently, I'd put a hand on her head.

"There's a wolf here." Jasper explained tersely, and I felt a mix of worry and confusion. Emmett put a hand on my shoulder, ignoring my little puppy, and squeezing gently. "Hey, it's okay. We won't let him hurt you."

"Which wolf?" I asked cautiously.

"Seth." Eyes wide, I started to push past Emmett, remembering the little dark haired boy who'd trailed along behind Jacob all the time. He'd been the kindest of all the wolves, and if he was here, it couldn't be to hurt me. Emmett caught my arms as I tried to push past him, causing Carlie to start barking once more. "Bella, stop!" Emmett cried, holding me in place, and ignoring Carlie when she lunged at him, her teeth closing around his pants leg. Jasper reached down to catch her, and pulled her into his arms. She didn't try to bite him, only glared and huffed.

"He's not going to hurt me." I argued, pushing against him, but it was no use, so I stopped and glared at him petulantly. "Emmett, let go!" I nearly whined, my arms going limp in his hands, and he sighed, releasing me. He kept a hand on my shoulder, glancing back at Jasper, and my blonde brother stepped forward, handing me the dog.

"At least let Carlisle finish…" He paused, glancing at the door, and I looked between them.

"Look, he was running for the house." Emmett sounded like he was trying to defend himself, and I stared at him in surprise. "I thought he was coming after you." I sighed, my irritation with Emmett and my worry disappearing. Of course Emmett would do anything to protect me if he thought I was in danger. I put Carlie on the floor and then wrapped my arms around him, resting my head on his shoulder, feeling him sigh in relief as his arms went around me. "I think he broke his leg…or his arm. But Carlisle's taking care of him." I nodded, still worried about Seth.

Jasper soothed my worry and Edward appeared in the doorway, moving back over to my side and putting his arms around me. "Seth is fine." He assured me. "Carlisle has taken care of him, and is currently…drawing his blood for research purposes." I lifted an eyebrow at his chuckle. "He's never been able to study the blood of a werewolf before." Edward glanced over at Emmett and Jasper who remained in the background. "Jacob asked him to keep an eye on us, just in case we decided to change you…" He rubbed my back when I stiffened. "I assured him that we wouldn't be changing you here…and not until after the wedding. It seems that Jacob and Seth…and maybe Leah, are on our side and are willing to go against Sam should he decide to attack." He kissed my hair, holding me a little closer. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I told him softly, wrapping my arms around him.

"Come on. I'm sure he'd like to see you." He glanced at his brothers again. While Jasper met his eyes, Emmett stared at the ground. "Why don't you go downstairs? I need to talk to Emmett and Jasper." I headed downstairs, leaving them alone, more than a little confused, but I figured I'd just ask them later.

Seth was sitting on the sofa, his arm in a sling, and he grinned up at me. "Hey Bella." Carlie raced ahead of me, running over to his side and I smiled at him, lifting a hand in greeting as the little dog leapt onto the couch. Carlisle gently kept her from jostling his arm, rubbing the excited little dog's head as she sniffed the boy happily.

"Hey Seth. Are you okay?"

"Yeah…that big one's fast." I laughed as Carlisle chuckled, placing a vial of something that I assumed was blood into his bag, and I sat down beside Seth on the sofa, letting Carlie just onto my lap. Carlisle sat on my other side, and Esme joined us as well, offering both Seth and myself something to eat. I accepted, hoping that Seth would feel comfortable accepting as well. But it seemed like Seth could be comfortable anywhere. He grinned at Esme, thanking her when she handed him a bowl of soup and a sandwich, and began to dig in.

Carlisle had an arm around my shoulders, and for the first time I realized that he was sitting quite closely to me, his body on alert, as though he wasn't quite sure if he could trust Seth despite the boy's easygoing nature and assurances that he was on our side. I glanced over at Esme who'd taken a seat on Seth's other side, and I noticed that Carlisle was having a soft conversation with her that I couldn't hear. Both looked worried and concerned about something, and I longed to ask what was going on, but I doubted they wanted to talk about it around Seth, just in case.

"Does Sam plan on attacking?" Carlisle asked softly when Seth had finished eating and while I still nibbled at my sandwich, leaning against my father's side.

"Not yet…" He spoke hesitantly, looking between the two vampires that surrounded him a bit nervously. "He's going to wait and see if you're going to…uh…bite her."

"How far do you think he'll follow us?" Esme asked softly, and Carlisle rubbed my shoulder gently.

"I don't know…" Seth sighed, turning to look at her. "We'll stop him, though. Jacob won't let him come after you…he already told Sam that he won't attack you, and I won't either." Esme's eyes softened, and I could so easily see her pulling this boy under her wing along with the rest of us, taking on a role as his mother.

"Thank you, Seth." She said gently, touching his shoulder, and he didn't even flinch at her cold hand on his hot skin. Instead, he smiled cheerfully.

"I'd better go soon." He told us, starting to stand, but was held in place by Esme.

"At least wait for Carlisle to check your arm. It hasn't healed yet." I moved over, letting Carlisle get closer to Seth, and watched as he gently probed the younger boy's arm in surprise.

"It's healing quickly. Would you mind staying another half hour?" The boy hesitated, then nodded.

"Yeah, that should be fine. I don't want anyone to come investigate. If Sam sees…" He looked uncomfortable for a moment, and Carlisle rested his hand on the boy's shoulder.

"If it's protection you need…if you ever need protection from Sam, you can come here." He assured Seth softly, meeting his surprised look. Esme nodded, touching his arm.

"You'll be safe here…"

"Thank you." He smiled at her, touching her arm on his, and I leaned back against the sofa while Esme stood, squeezing Seth's hand then patting his shoulder.

"I need to speak with Emmett and Jasper. Excuse me." Carlisle watched her go, his gaze grim then gentle when he met my gaze. I frowned at him, glancing at the stairs and wondering why everyone needed to speak with Emmett and Jasper, but he shook his head slightly. Giving up on having any of my questions answered for the moment, I sat back against the couch.

"Oh…thanks for the invitation, Bella." I glanced over at Seth. "To your wedding…I can't wait." I smiled at him, stroking Carlie's back as she lay in my lap, her nose pointed towards him, and I wondered how she'd feel if he were to change into his wolf form in front of her.

'She'd probably want to play.' I thought with a smile. "You're welcome. I'm glad you want to come. Will Leah be there?" He hesitated, looking as though he were looking for a polite way to say no.

"Um…yeah. She'll come." There was some determination in his eyes and I wondered what he'd have to say to her in order to get her to come.

Edward waited until Bella greeted Seth downstairs to turn to his brothers. "You got them?" Emmett nodded grimly, and Edward watched in his mind as Jeremy met his swift end…and the little girl's who'd hidden in the bedroom. "Had he hurt them?"

"We don't know." Emmett said softly, crossing his arms.

"They'll be okay." Jasper said quietly, but Edward could hear the doubt in his mind…could hear the worry in his mind, how he thought of Bella when she cried and shook in his arms, wondered if that would be the fate of those little girls as well.

"And the other one?" Edward asked, not wanting Esme or Carlisle to overhear. The better they did at keeping their parents in the dark, the better.

"I took care of it." And in Jasper's mind, Edward watched Mark meet his timely demise. Emmett had stayed in the living room when Jasper had followed the shocked older man into his bedroom, the trailer empty and secluded. The terrified man had backed into a corner while Jasper had snarled at him, teeth bared.

"Who...who are…" The man had stammered, his back pressed against the wall.

"Jasper Whitlock." Jasper had introduced himself, his voice full of false courtesy. "And you're the piece of sh*t that molested my baby sister."

"No…no I swear I never touched any kid!"

"Her name is Isabella Swan…her mother's name is Renee. You dated her mother, and when her mother wasn't home…" Jasper had flashed forward, moving too quickly for the man to see, his hand around his throat. "…you sick, disgusting monster." He snarled, and Edward knew that Jasper had felt the man's recognition of that name…that Jasper's mind had been filled with images of Bella, that first night when she'd laid in Carlisle's arms and sobbed out her story, and how Jasper had been so helpless….so pained at her sorrow and shame. He'd dropped the man then, letting him crumble to the floor as his foot came up, catching the man in the throat.

He'd beaten the man to death, his feet slamming into the man's sides, his hands hauling him to his feet before punching him in the stomach, enjoying the sound of his bones snapping and his organs failing. Jasper had wanted the man to suffer as much as possible, even as he begged, swearing that he hadn't touched the girl, then that he'd changed…then that she'd never fought him, that she'd encouraged him. That last one had Jasper losing control, his foot slamming down on the man's chest and crushing his lungs. He'd left quickly, before the scent of blood could fill the air. He'd had no desire to feet on the man. He never wanted Bella to find out about this.

Edward knew that Jasper didn't for a second regret that man's death…that he would have killed him again, and for a moment he could see the person that Jasper had been before Alice. But just as quickly, Jasper sighed, his face softening, and Edward turned to find Esme in the doorway. "What's going on?" She asked softly, her tone more suspicious than curious. Edward knew that she truly didn't know what her sons had done…and he certainly counted himself in this. He'd given his brothers the information and the idea…he just hadn't gone along for the actual event.

"We're worried about the wolves…I know Seth says that Jacob is on our side, but can they actually go against Sam?" Edward suppressed a surprised frown as Jasper blatantly lied to their mother…well, not lied. They were both worried about that as well. Emmett had been genuinely worried that the wolf would hurt one of them, and it had been his love for Esme and Alice and Rosalie as much as his love for Bella that had caused him to tackle the boy.

Esme sighed, her thoughts preoccupied with the boy downstairs, but it was Edward who spoke. "His is telling the truth. Jacob asked him to watch us so that if we changed Bella, he and Jacob and Leah too, I believe, can stop Sam from attacking. But as long as all of their minds are connected in their wolf forms, that plan may cause as much harm as good. But Jacob has an idea…he wants to break away from Sam."

"Can he do that?" Emmett wondered.

"I'm not sure…he thinks it may be possible." Edward was thoughtful, remembering the strange dynamic of the pack children, their complicated drama more interesting than a soap opera. Honestly, he hoped that he'd get to see them all again to here more. "Regardless, he had no intention of hurting Bella." Emmett and Jasper nodded, accepting his words. Esme nodded as well, turning to head back downstairs, and Edward followed. Emmett and Jasper headed off to find Alice, who was dying to ask Jasper how it had gone, as her visions were messed up thanks to their visitor's presence, and Rosalie who was still somewhat in the dark. He knew that Emmett would take her out, go far enough away so that Carlisle wouldn't hear, and tell her what had happened after he'd apologized the boy downstairs.

Bella was sitting under his father's arm, leaning against him slightly, and Carlie was in the process of investigating the smiling boy who sat on her other side. He knew the boy was no threat…he was one of the best natured humans that Edward had ever met, and as he joined the group in the living room, he was glad to have the kid on their side.


	39. Chapter 39

I stared in disgust at the little white square in my lap. It had been intended as a gift for Carlisle, but I'd screwed up the C had tried to change it into an E, deciding to go with 'Edward' instead. But halfway through it looked more like a doctor's unreadable signature than his name, and I wrinkled my nose in frustration, ignoring Carlie as she nudged my leg with her nose, and dropped onto the little sofa in Esme's study once more. I'd have to ask her to show me that stitch again…

My phone chimed in my pocket and I pulled it out, smiling a little when I read the text from my sister, informing me that they would be another two hours at least. Alice was out with the guys, fitting them for tuxedos. Carlisle had left for the hospital a little while ago, but I knew that he was also meeting with Charlie, something I didn't quite understand, but I didn't question it. He and Esme already had their clothes for the wedding, as Alice had brought them home a few days ago in boxes, placing them on the counter and moving onto Emmett, Jasper, and Edward. Apparently they were harder to shop for.

Esme and Rosalie were out as well, either looking at more decorations or flowers or something. They'd already chosen an area in the yard, and had set up some bushes and flowers and were going to start working on the aisle next. I was left out of all this, since they wanted to keep the final effect a surprise for me. But I was allowed to help with the final arrangements for the food. That was the plan for the evening, and I found myself wanting this wedding to be over. I wanted to marry Edward, and I was sure that it would all be beautiful, but I was tired of all the wedding planning…and I wasn't even doing most of it!

I stood from the sofa, stretching and moving into the kitchen, contemplating food. It was my first time truly being alone in the house. I'd insisted that I'd be fine for a few hours while Alice and the guys went shopping, and although Edward had been reluctant to leave me, Alice insisted that I'd be fine. And I agreed. Emmett and Jasper had been reluctant as well, but she'd finally dragged them all out of the house. And I was fine. But I was getting bored.

I rolled my eyes at myself as I opened the refrigerator, grabbing a bottle of water and drinking from it, putting off eating any real food, something I knew Carlisle would disapprove of. 'When did I start relying on them to entertain me?' Even as I scolded myself, I knew it wasn't that. I was just used to having someone around now. I tried to think of something to do as I pulled an apple from the bowl, biting into it. I could go over medical texts…I still had a chapter left in the book Carlisle had found for me. It was a pretty basic book, mostly just a step beyond my high school biology text, but I enjoyed it most of the time….still, I didn't feel like sitting cooped up in the office. Deciding to take Carlie out, I pulled out her leash, ordering her to sit before clipping the green lead onto her collar.

She was happy to be outside, although I didn't let her off the lead. With none of my super fast family around to catch her, should something happen, I wasn't willing to risk it. Still, I ran alongside her, playing with her and holding her in my lap as she drank up the attention. The sun hid behind the clouds, but it was still warm enough that I didn't need a jacket, and I looked forward to a few weeks of being warm…before it didn't bother me anymore. Not sure how I felt about that, I cuddled Carlie to my chest, kissing her head and letting her lick my cheek. She was getting bigger, her body slowly starting to change as she began to catch up to her large paws, and I loved watching her for changes. I would miss her puppy phase, but she was going to be a great dog…I could tell. She wasn't warming to Emmett, but she loved the rest of my family, and Jasper especially. When I wasn't available to pet her, she liked spending time with him, trailing after him and nipping at his heels, or sitting on his lap as he read or played video games. I wondered if his emotional control could work on animals and if maybe that had something to do with it. Resolving to ask him later, I started to go inside when my phone chimed again.

I always kept my phone in my pocket, and charged. When I forgot, Edward would charge it for me, slipping it into my pocket as soon as I met him downstairs. My family could obviously see the progress I was making, and I was glad that they no longer were in a constant state of fear that I would have a panic attack…something I was also glad not to have to worry about. Having Angela to speak to had helped more than I could imagine, as had having Carlie to take outside and play with, and of course, the constant, sometimes silent but always present, support of my family. Everything was going well with Charlie, and the wedding planning was going well. Things with the wolves would, hopefully, be okay until we left, and the nightmares were starting to go away.

But I still kept my phone on me. My family had made it clear that they needed to be able to reach me should something happen, and I was happy to oblige. When I was alone, the phone was my lifeline to them, and I wasn't about to let it go. So as I pulled it out, I was a little surprised when it wasn't a text from Alice, but from Angela, inviting me over. Her parents were going out and she was babysitting, and she wanted to know if I wanted to join her. I smiled, shutting the door behind me as I reentered the house and unclipped Carlie's lead, making sure the little doggy door was locked.

Before answering her message, I called Edward, waiting patiently for him to answer. In the background, I could hear soft laughter, and Alice's reprimanding tone. There was a smile in his voice as he greeted me.

"Hey. Angela invited me over since she's babysitting. Do you mind?"

"Of course not. We'll be home in a couple of hours…we might hunt on the way back. Are you taking Carlie?"

"Yeah. I don't want to leave her alone in the house."

"Okay. Be careful. I love you." He spoke softly now, his voice gentle and loving and it felt like he was with me, holding me in his arms.

"I love you too." I told him softly. "I'll see you later."

Carlie went into the truck willingly, her little body wriggling around in excitement as she sat in the passenger seat. Jasper had come back a few days ago with a harness for her to wear in the truck that would act as a seat belt for her, and she was good about letting me strap her in. He worried that she would get into my lap and distract me, or fall between my feet and get in the way while I was driving, so he had showed me how to correctly strap her in place. While I loved having her on my lap, I agreed that this was safer for both of us, and she could still keep her head near my lap, so she was happy too.

The sun came out from behind the clouds for just a little while I drove, and I rolled down my window enjoying the warm sunlight as it touched my skin. 'How will the sunlight feel after I'm changed?' I wondered absently, turning out of the driveway and onto the main road and thinking about the way it looked when one of my family stepped into the sun. I still had a little ways to go before I got to the town, and the winding, curving road was as familiar to me as the path from my bedroom to the living room. I looked around me as the greenery passed in a blur, and I wondered how I could have ever hated this place. It was beautiful, and the trees and bushes that had seemed to press against me at first now made me feel safe. This was home, where my family and future husband and father all lived. I was protected here, safe from the terrible things from my past, and I was about to start a whole new life somewhere else. I felt my heart clench when I thought about leaving. I would miss this little town in the middle of nowhere that I'd been so reluctant to come to. I would miss the beautiful Cullen home, now my home, and the greenhouse and the gardens, the open living room and the state of the art kitchen….my study and Carlisle's office, the rooms hidden in little nooks and crannies that I'd never even entered.

But I knew that the new house would be beautiful as well, and I had plenty of time to make a new home for myself there. I wondered what England looked like as I carefully drove around the long curve in the road, then slammed on my break, swerving on instinct as the animal bolted out in front of me, right as the other truck came speeding around the corner. I only had time to reach out, holding Carlie back against the seat before the impact sent my truck over the embankment, my breath escaping in a pained cry when my chest slammed into the steering column and my head hit the glass so hard that it shattered before everything turned black.

Alice sighed as her brothers and husband chose more and more ridiculous looking suits. "I swear, Emmett, if you pick out one more pink jacket, I will ban you from the wedding!" Edward laughed, subtly moving something back onto the wrack. "Black." She ordered. "You need black suit jackets. White shirts. This is a wedding, not a carnival. Jasper!" She whined, her voice losing its edge when he pulled something yellow from the display. "No. White." She fought back a laugh when Emmett reappeared in a green monstrosity that made him look like a parody of a game show host. "Please, guys! We only have two weeks until the wedding, and I still have to do another fitting with Angela, and one with Bella….oh…." She paused when the vision passed across her vision, her lips coming up in a tiny smile.

Edward laughed as he watched Bella throw the little square into the trash in irritated resignation, and made a mental note to rescue it from the trash as soon as he got home and add it to the growing collection. Most of them started out with an E or a C, and a few were nearly legible. She was getting better. She'd even managed half a flower once. That one was his favorite of all the ones he kept in a box in their closet.

She knew that he was excited about the wedding, and she couldn't actually be angry as she snatched the purple shirt away from him, shoving him toward a more suitable wrack of clothes. He was the most fun when he was in high spirits, and all the times she'd thought he'd been in a good mood before Bella were nothing compared to now. Emmett and Jasper noticed as well, and she knew they appreciated the improvements in their brother's mood.

Bella had called a few minutes ago, informing Edward that she was going to visit Angela, and now that their little sister wasn't sitting alone at home, waiting for them to return (not that she had been originally, but Alice had given up trying to tell her husband and brothers that) they were no longer even pretending to care about the clothes she was picking out for them. "Emmett, here, take this one. It should fit. And Jasper, try these two." She wasn't sure which one she liked better on her husband….and she so rarely saw him in dress clothes…she pushed that thought away. This was no time to play. "Edward, Bella will like this one. Try it on." She sighed as they al took the clothes she'd thrown at them and disappeared into changing rooms. She glanced down at her phone, glad she hadn't missed any messages, and looked once more at Bella's future, unable to help herself.

It was back…the vision she'd hoped was gone forever…that she hadn't seen since Bella had been in school... Bella lay back against the seat in her truck, her breath coming in gasps as blood dripped from her lips and trailed down her chin. Carlisle wasn't there….she waited for him to come into the picture, to change her…to save her, but he wasn't there….Bella's eyes finally dimmed and her chest stopped moving, her body going still, Carlie whining and whimpering from her side, straying against the harness to get to her side..

She opened her phone, her movements frantic, and she barely noticed as Edward, Emmett, and Jasper raced from the shop, taking the car and leaving her to wait anxiously with her phone as the phone rang. Carlisle answered after the first ring and she tried to force her mouth to work.

"Alice? What's wrong, Alice? Are you okay?"

"She…no…" The vision came again, this time even more clear and define, and she choked back a scream. "Get Bella. Hurry! On her way to Angela's!" She heard the car accelerate as he drove, and she was glad that he could make sense of her disjointed words. "Hurry!" She pleaded with him, sobbing when the vision didn't change. There was no way the guys would reach her in time…Carlisle was the only one of them close enough. "Please, Carlisle! She's dying!" Bella was still in her vision, the light leaving her baby sister's eyes the blood continued to drip from her mouth and the puppy continued to cry. "Carlisle." She sobbed, rocking back and forth as she cried.

"I'm almost there, Alice. Shhh, sweetheart." His voice was strained, and she appreciated the attempt to comfort her. "I can see her truck."

"Hurry!" The vision wasn't changing…why wasn't the vision changing? "You have to change her Carlisle. Please!"

Carlisle politely decline's Charlie's offer of a beer, glad when the man didn't persist. He would drink something if he had to, but beer tasted worse than soda, and while water was the least offensive, he preferred not having to force anything back up. It was always twice as disgusting the second time. The man invited him to sit down then, and Carlisle accepted, thanking him quietly.

"So what brings you to this part of town?" Charlie wondered, and Carlisle could sense his sincere worry and curiosity. Not wanting to alarm the man, he gestured for him to relax and take a seat. He did, sitting in a recliner across from him, leaning forward and watching him intently.

"I'm actually on my way to work." He answered with a serene smile, hoping to put him at ease.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes, Bella is at home and she's fine. I believe Alice has the boys out shopping for wedding clothes, and Esme and Rosalie went out."

"Bella's by herself?"

"Yes. She's been doing much better, and I believe it's helped her to spend time with her friend…and with you. I'm glad she was able to reconcile with you…she needs her father." Charlie's answering smile was sad, and he didn't even need to say his next sentence…it was written all over his face.

"You're her father, Carlisle."

"I cannot tell you how happy Esme and I are to have her in our family, and we are honored that she sees us as her parents. But you will always be her father." He took a deep breath, folding his hands. "In two weeks we are having the wedding at our house. She already spoke to you about walking her down the aisle."

"Yes…"

"After the wedding, she and Edward will be going on their honeymoon, and will meet us in England where they will be attending college. We've already made arrangements…the new house has already been purchased…it's far enough away from the city that we'll have plenty of privacy, and close enough that driving won't be a problem." He was quiet for a moment, looking up at Charlie who seemed confused. "And there is a guest cottage as well." Charlie's eyebrows lifted and he smiled a little. "It has distressed Bella quite a bit to know that she'd be leaving you…she will miss you very much. It was with that in mind that Esme and I chose this house. I don't expect you to uproot your life here to move to England. But please know that should you ever wish to come visit, you will be more than welcome. You'll have a home with us anytime you wish." He thought about the future, when Charlie would retire….and eventually get old and die, as all humans did. It would be hard on Bella, but it would make it easier for her if she could be with him.

"Carlisle…I can't exactly…I mean, I can't really afford…" Carlisle shook his head firmly, cursing the stubbornness that Bella had so obviously inherited from him.

"Any time that you wish to visit Bella, we would be more than happy to provide transportation." He saw Charlie about to argue but he help up a hand. "Please, Charlie. It is…harder on Bella than you know, and it's caused her a lot of anxiety knowing that she'll be leaving you."

"Then why is she leaving?" He could hear the frustration in Charlie's voice, and he knew that the man sensed that there was something he wasn't telling him.

"Charlie…there are…reasons that we are leaving. Reasons that I can't exactly discuss with you. But I hope you know that no matter what, we will take care of your daughter." Charlie nodded, sighing loudly.

"I can hardly doubt that, not after everything you've done for her."

"I promise that I will explain everything after we've moved…if you wish. If not, then you are still welcome with us anytime you want." Charlie looked at him for a long time, and Carlisle knew that he wasn't nearly as blind to the situation as he seemed. Bella had gotten her sharp mind and intelligence somewhere. But he had a feeling that Charlie wouldn't want to know the details.

"I'm glad she has you…all of you." Charlie told him softly, still looking at the floor. "I wasn't so sure about Edward at first…and then after you all left…" Carlisle winced, still hating the reminder of what he'd done…of what he'd allowed Edward to do. "But when you came back, and after the shooting…well, I can't imagine anyone better for her. She'll be happy with him…with all of you."

"I sincerely believe so, yes." Carlisle smiled, realizing that he already missed his daughter. "Thank you for your time, Charlie. I'd better get to work." The man stood when he did, reaching out and shaking his hand, and Carlisle rested a hand on the man's shoulder. "I believe Bella has plans to visit you tomorrow afternoon, if you aren't busy."

"Nope. She can come on over anytime."

"I'll let her know." He told him with a smile, squeezing his shoulder and refusing one last time when he was offered a drink. The door was shut behind him and he climbed into his car, pausing for a moment as he smiled, glad that the conversation had gone fairly well. It was a risk, but one he was willing to take if it would make Bella happy. He hoped that eventually, Charlie would move in with them, and allow Carlisle to care for him if any medical problems came along as he aged. Bella would get to spend as much time with her father as she wanted that way, and when the time came, Carlisle could make him comfortable.

His phone rang in his pocket then, and he pulled it out as he pulled out of the driveway. He'd only gone a few feet around the corner when he heard Alice's sobs. Feeling immediately anxious, he clenched the phone. "Alice? What's wrong, Alice? Are you okay?"

"She…no…" She was crying, and he drove absently, anxiously waiting for her to explain so that he could do something…anything to fix whatever was wrong. She made a pained noise, then managed to speak. "Get Bella. Hurry! On her way to Angela's!" Slamming his foot down on the gas pedal, he sped toward the road that led into town, pushing his car as fast as it could go. "Hurry!" She pleaded with him. "Please, Carlisle! She's dying!" His jaw clenched as his entire body stiffened, his hand nearly cracking the plastic of the wheel. "Carlisle."

"I'm almost there, Alice. Shhh, sweetheart." He murmured, hoping someone was with Alice as he sped around the corner, coming upon the curve where the grass at the side of the road was covered in skid marks, and he slammed on his breaks, following the skid marks with his eyes as they disappeared down the hill and toward the river. He leapt out of his car, heart in his throat, and left it idling on the side of the road, racing to the railing that had been broken through and looking down in horror at the wreckage. "I can see her truck." He managed, trying to keep her up to date as he raced down the hill toward the ruined truck.

"Hurry! You have to change her Carlisle. Please!" He stopped listening when he reached her truck, nearly dropping the phone.

"Bella." He whispered her name, feeling as though he were in shock, then forced himself to speak up. "Bella!" He screamed now, reaching out and ripping the door off of her truck. It was upright now, but it had obviously rolled down the hill, stopping just short of the river. The front end was crushed, and he could smell oil and smoke and knew that he had to get her out of the truck before the engine caught fire. He glanced over at the river, only a few feet away. 'If it hadn't stopped….oh god she would have drowned.' There was a loud barking and he was shocked when he realized that Carlie was in the truck as well.

The door came off easily, and he stared at her in shock. "Oh Bella….oh sweetheart." He whispered, touching her face, covered in cuts and scrapes, and looked at her head, embedded with shards of glass. She was slumped over, gasping painfully for breath, the blood in her mouth spilling out and trailing down her chin. She looked up at him then, her eyes full of pain and confusion and fear, and he clenched his jaw, cupping her cheek in his hand. 'The wedding…she's getting married.' He thought desperately as Alice screamed from the phone, urging him to change her. 'I just saw her this morning…she...she was going to get married.' He sobbed then, rubbing his thumb over her cheek, almost too afraid to move her. 'Her chest is crushed….there's nothing else I can do. She won't survive if I move her….I don't have any morphine.' He knew what he had to do…reaching out, he unbuckled his seatbelt, gently moving her back against the seat when she started to slump forward, and she whimpered softly in pain. Carlie whined, and he reached out, releasing the dog from the harness and letting her step onto Bella's lap, feeling immense worry when the girl didn't seem to notice. 'Her spine? Surely the venom can heal that…right?' He thought desperately.

"Dad?" Her voice was weak and agonized, her words muted and wet as she coughed painfully. The first time she'd called him that, she'd been in the ambulance after she'd been shot, frightened and in pain. Since then, she'd called him that a few times, calling out to him when she was feeling alone or scared or hurt….when she needed him the most. "Help." Her breath came in raspy, desperate gasps, and he knew that her lungs were failing…her heart wouldn't last much longer. She would choke on her own blood before long, or black out from a lack of oxygen. He couldn't wait. Alice was shouting at him over the phone that sat on the dashboard, and he took a deep breath, preparing himself for the taste of her blood, the scent thick in the air.

"Oh, Bella." He whispered. "It's going to hurt, sweetheart. But we'll be with you."

"Carlisle now!" Alice all but screamed, and he could smell the familiar scents of his sons as they raced toward them, approaching quickly.

'Of course Edward would have seen the vision.' He thought grimly. "We don't have time for morphine sweetheart. I'm so sorry." He apologized, stroking her face once more as she gasped, her eyes dimming. But he knew that it was about to get worse…she was going to be in so much pain….only made worse by her fatal injuries. "I love you Bella." He made the words a promise, a promise that he wouldn't leave her, that none of them would. They'd get her through this. Leaning forward, he briefly touched Carlie's head, glad to note that she, at least, seemed fine. He didn't know how the little dog had been spared, but he was grateful..he knew that Bella would be crushed if she woke up and her little go was dead. 'She will be fine...she will get through the transformation and be fine.' He told himself firmly as he pressed his lips against her neck gently, wanting the last contact she felt to be loving and kind…not the painful sensations she was feeling now….that were about to get so much worse. "I love you so much." He whispered too quietly for her to hear, his eyes filling, and then, as carefully as he could, sank his teeth into her throat.


	40. Chapter 40

Everything felt fuzzy around the edges, overshadowed by the blinding pain. I couldn't breathe…why couldn't I breathe? I couldn't remember. I opened my mouth, gasping for air that barely came, feeling a warm trickle fall down the side of my face. I could smell blood. Someone was screaming…my name? I couldn't tell. Everything sounded like I was under water, the dull roar filling my ears. There was the sound of screeching metal, and then a cold hand touched my face, gently patting my cheek, but I couldn't force my eyes open. Instead I tried to take another breath…my brain trying to focus but not quite managing it. Something touched my side gently and I tried to scream, but it was impossible. I couldn't breathe. Why couldn't I breathe? I made my eyes open and realized I was sitting in my truck...or what remained of it. "Bella?" I gasped again, managing a little air, but not enough as my chest burned. I could taste blood and felt it run down the side of my mouth. Then I realized that I recognized the face…then hand that clasped mine…unable to speak, I tried to lift my hand, but I couldn't move.

"You have to change her, Carlisle!" Alice's voice was tinny and far off…where were we anyway? "Edward's coming…Jasper and Emmett are with him. You have to hurry! Charlie's going to come by here and we've got to cover our tracks!" My body jerked as I tried again to breathe and a hand cupped my face. "She's going to die, Carlisle!" I looked up at my father…I didn't want to die. This was wrong…I wasn't supposed to die, right? I made a quiet, pained noise, trying again to lift my hand. Had I been able to move my hand before? I couldn't remember. He was a doctor…shouldn't he help me? My brain felt full and why couldn't I remember anything!? He bent over, touching my cheek, moving the phone that had been pressed to his ear to the dash, then carefully unbuckled my seatbelt, moving it off of me and helping me lean back when I started to slump forward. The look on his face was more frightened than I'd ever seen it…his eyes full of terror and pain and sorrow as he touched my cheek. Suddenly I could see Carlie in my lap…why couldn't I feel her there? Or could I? Everything hurt in spasms, and I could feel her on my leg for a second before it seemed to disappear.

"Dad?" I tried to speak, my voice barely there as I immediately had to gasp for air, the action forcing more blood from my mouth, and I coughed painfully as tears fell from my eyes. "Help."

"Oh, Bella." He whispered brokenly, rubbing his thumb under my eye. "It's going to hurt, sweetheart. But we'll be with you." I had no idea what he was talking about…my vision was turning black at the edges and I heard Alice saying something urgently. "We don't have time for morphine sweetheart. I'm so sorry. I love you Bella." He mumbled, and I felt cold lips press against my neck briefly before I began to black out, finally giving in to the darkness…when he sank his teeth into my neck.

At first I was too shocked to realize what was going on…and then I remembered, my brain switching on suddenly, and I managed a breathless, shocked scream. He had released me in a matter of seconds, his tongue pressed against my neck for just a second, and then I was scooped into his arms. The place in my neck was warm…a growing warmth that wasn't completely unpleasant around the initial pain. I tried to focus on that as the pain of my injuries as he moved me increased and I heard other voices…maybe Emmett. "We've got to get her to the house." Carlisle ordered someone tersely, and I heard Edward's voice then, screaming my name. Carlie was barking…where was she? Was she with us? I hoped Jasper had her…she liked Jasper, I thought dully, trying to think around the pain. "I had to bite her, she was dying…set everything on fire and make it hot, then throw the truck in the river…they'll look for her body. Emmett, Jasper now! The police are coming…come back to the house afterwards, don't let them see you! Edward, she's going to be fine. I got her in time. Come on, we have to get her to the house. Get Carlie." The warmth increased, growing until it became painful and I gasped.

"They'll come to the house!"

Hot…it was getting hot. Oh, god it was hot…the pain before was nothing compared to this. My neck was catching fire. "Hot." I gasped, trying to reach up to touch my neck, and my arm lifted for a second before dropping painfully. "Please Dad…Jasper, Emmett…burning…make it stop! Edward!" I cried as the heat intensified, then felt a hand on my face.

"Shh, Bella, I know sweetheart. I know it hurts. Please, try not to yell. Shh, it's okay." Carlisle kept up the steady stream of chatter, cradling me to him, and I did my best, barely able to understand why I did it, but I kept quiet, my jaw clenched as I hid my face in his shoulder. "We've got the morphine at home…it's not too late to inject her heart with more venom…it'll speed things up. Come on." We were moving so quickly but I barely noticed. It took every bit of effort I had to keep my jaw locked, and every time I started to scream, I remembered Carlisle's plea. It didn't feel like ten seconds later that we were inside. I opened my eyes but the pain made it impossible to focus as I was pricked several times, once in the chest and twice in my arms. "I'm giving her as much as I have…it can't hurt at this point. Here, sweetheart. This may help. Just wait a second."

I realized that the heat was moving…it was spreading through my chest and neck, burning me alive. And I remembered their stories, bits and pieces…Emmett grinning and telling me that hell wasn't so bad if you got to keep an angel, someone telling me it did no good to scream…Rosalie? Carlisle…something about hiding from his father…keeping quiet. I had to keep quiet. I had to keep quiet. It was important. I had no idea why, but I kept my jaw locked, my fists clenched. I would keep quiet. If it was the last thing I did… the heat continued to grow and all I could think about was that hopefully it would kill me. Soon.

Someone took my hand, the cold doing absolutely nothing for the hideous pain. "Helping her?" I only caught part of Edward's statement, but Carlisle answered loudly enough for me to hear.

"I don't know…she's not screaming. But she's obviously still in a lot of pain…maybe the morphine took the edge off?"

I would have laughed if I hadn't feared the screams that would have come form my mouth had I opened it. Surely the morphine had done noting. The fire was growing hotter and hotter and I couldn't escape the terrible burning. I tried to black out…I did everything I could to fall into unawareness, but that obviously wasn't going to happen. "I'm here Bella. It's okay." Edward kept my hand and I assumed that I wasn't actually catching fire, as he sounded relatively calm, if on the verge of tears. "Oh Bella, I know it hurts."

I wanted to scream at him. 'I wish it just hurt! This is unbearable. Kill me, please!' I didn't dare open my mouth. I heard a door open and shut loudly.

"Did anyone see you?"

"No…no evidence…all burned…her truck…we…." I wasn't going unconscious, but time seemed to drift for a little while. The pain didn't let up…I no longer had any trouble breathing but that was little comfort, as every breath seemed to fan the flames. "Just sit…it helped…when I was…" Someone else took my hand and I was filled with the closest thing to calm I could experience. I could have kissed Jasper who tightened his hand around mine.

"There you go…that's a little better, huh?" His voice was strained and he rubbed his thumb on the back of my hand. I couldn't chance telling him…I just tried to feel every bit of the gratitude and he chuckled softly. "You can thank me later, darlin." He promised.

"Her injuries?" Emmett's voice was purposefully loud enough for me to hear and I appreciated it.

"Her chest was crushed, but the venom is healing that now." Carlisle spoke up as well…I wondered if Emmett had told them that it helped a little. "Her ribs had punctured her lungs…her heart was failing and she was unable to breathe…I believe she had a severe concussion as well…but she's not having any trouble breathing, so I got to her in time."

"What happened?" Edward asked as my neck and chest continued to burn.

"Someone hit her truck and she went over the embankment. She was lucky her truck didn't go all the way to the river. She was wearing a seatbelt but that truck doesn't have airbags…she hit the steering column at least once. The truck flipped several times. She rolled down the hill…that's probably where she hit her head. There was a hole in the window, covered in blood and she had glass in her scalp."

"Were there any other cars? Did anyone even stop?" Edward choked out.

"No…" There was a soft growl to my left and I suddenly realized I was lying on a couch. Opening my eyes, up for anything to distract me, I realized that I was in Carlisle's office, then managed to meet his eyes.

"Hey, sweetheart. You'll be okay." He promised, and I forced my jaw to stay locked. "It's going to be over in a few days, okay? Then it's going to be fine." His words swirled around me but I couldn't seem to take them in. I tried shutting my eyes instead but it didn't help…my neck and heart and lungs…they burned and I wasn't sure if I could keep from screaming….the heat seemed to creep outwards, and I could feel my own heart race. Jasper said something I didn't catch and then Emmett put a large hand on my shoulder.

Suddenly I heard a loud barking and Edward sighed. "I've got her locked in the bedroom…"

"Let her in." Jasper suggested. "It might help." I heard shuffling, though neither Jasper nor Edward released my hands, and then I heard Emmett's tired sounding voice.

"Yes, I know you hate me. No, stop biting. Here she is, Carlie." I felt the couch shift and something small and warm was pressed against my side, a tiny whimpering noise coming from a soft pressure on my stomach. "She'll be alright, pup." Emmett spoke quietly to the puppy, and I realized she had her head on my stomach, the way she always slept.

It felt like time drifted for a little while, and then I heard Emmett again. "What are we going to do, Carlisle?"

"We can't do anything until the change is complete…then I suppose we'll have to have a funeral for Charlie…" The thought was almost as painful as the burning…okay so it was nowhere near as painful, but it still hurt. I wondered briefly how we were going to tell Charlie what was going on, but thinking about anything too long was impossible. "After that, we can head up to Alaska…or maybe further…we're going to have to get away quickly. The wolves are already watching us…I'm not sure if Jacob can hold Sam off if he finds out, and I won't bet her life on it."

"She would have died!" Edward cried, his hand tightening around mine, which, as of yet, had not started burning. But I didn't have any hopes that that would last. Carlie whimpered again, moving her head a little on my stomach.

"We broke the treaty." Carlisle reminded him simply. "All we can do now is hope that they…" He paused and the hands holding mine tightened slightly. Emmett swore loudly. "Charlie's here…Edward, Jasper, stay with her. If she starts screaming…" He sighed deeply and touched my face. "We can't let Charlie hear her." I felt cool lips touch my forehead where the heat was threatening to spread.

She was in pain. Jasper knew that for a fact as Carlisle and Emmett went downstairs. Her jaw was locked, her hand grasping his as tightly as she could. Her breaths came out in short, pained gasps, but the fact that she hadn't started screaming…well, he had to admit, it was impressive. He hadn't been able to hold back…he remembered the fire, the all encompassing fire that spread out from the place where he'd been bitten all the way through every extremity until he'd begged for death. He wondered how much longer she could keep quiet and hoped she could hold on for a little while…at least long enough to give Carlisle time to get rid of Charlie downstairs. "Talking helps." He reminded Edward, who nodded, his face drawn and worried. "Holding her helps, and having Carlie here is helping…I can feel it. I'm doing everything I can." His brother glanced up at him then, his eyes haunted as he shook his head, and Jasper felt his shame. 'I don't understand.'

"I…you shouldn't have to…I can't…" He shook his head, his words jumbled as he moved from his chair to kneel beside the girl, his head resting on the couch beside her and the dog.

"You think I could sit back and let my little sister go through this without trying to help? I remember how it feels, Edward."

"Thank you." His brother whispered, his voice still pained. "She's in so much pain…I know…I remember… She should be screaming."

"Three days, give or take. Just give it three days and she'll be fine. No more worrying about her…no more being careful not to hurt her…just three days." Jasper wrapped Edward in comfort, pushing his gift toward his siblings. Bella made a tiny noise, probably impossible to hear for humans, and Edward stiffened once more. "I'll do everything I can for her. But it might not be enough…you know how this works." Edward nodded and Bella's jaw tightened. "Bella, Charlie's here. You've got to be as quiet as you can, darlin. Okay? Trust me, we know it hurts. We won't leave you. It'll be over soon." He kept speaking to her, trying to keep her calm as she fought back the screams, grinding her teeth from the pain.

Downstairs he could hear Charlie's screams…his denial…his disbelief…the flavors of emotion nearly made him sick and he tried his best to concentrate on Bella, dosing her with comfort and calm. It may not help with the pain but at least she'd know they were with her. Alice and Rosalie burst through the door then, their eyes wide in surprise when they took in Bella, obviously in agony on the sofa with her little dog beside her, and Edward and Jasper's positions on the floor near her. "He got her in time." Alice whispered, her relief so strong that it bled into the emotions he gave Bella. It had been her anxious phone call that had alerted Carlisle…her vision that had saved our sister. "How is she?"

"It's just starting." Jasper spoke a little more quietly, not wanting Bella to hear that. "She's kept quiet…we told her Charlie's here and I can only assume she can still understand us. It's getting worse though."

Rosalie reached out and touched the girl's cheek, her eyes infinitely sad, and Jasper spared some comfort for his blonde sister who turned and gave him a small smile. "Can you help her?"

"A little. I'm keeping her calm…she'll know she's not alone. No one stayed when I was changed, so I can't know that it's helping, but Emmett always said having you helped." She nodded, glancing over at Edward who seemed to be in as much pain as Bella. Then her lips twitched and she fled the room, returning instantly with a worn paperback that she pressed into Edward's hand.

"It's her favorite." She reminded her brother, and Jasper smiled a little. They'd all seen her reading it countless times…she probably had it memorized. "Nothing will help like hearing you. If you can't talk to her, read."

Edward stared at them for a second, his face pained, then nodded. Keeping Bella's hand in his, he opened the book and began to read from Wuthering Heights.

Carlisle sat on his couch beside Emmett, his head in his hands while Charlie sobbed on the adjacent sofa. He had no idea what to do…there was no comfort they could offer the man...it honestly wasn't hard to pretend to be in complete shock. He'd just spoken to the man…just an hour ago….and then when he'd found her…when he'd frozen at her side, almost too afraid to touch her…when he'd heard her dying gasps for breath…he'd been unable to believe it. 'I almost lost her. I could have been too late. She could have died alone in the middle of the woods…what would we have done?'

"There's nothing." Charlie sobbed. "The truck caught fire…oh god…why did I buy her that god da*ned truck! It didn't even have f*cking air bags! She burned in that truck…oh god." He rocked back and forth and Carlisle almost relented…he almost took him upstairs and showed him that she was alive…currently enduring unimaginable pain in order to become a member of his vampire family…but alive.

'I can't…I can't do it. It wouldn't be better…not the way she's suffering now…I have to wait.' He wanted more than anything to get back to his little girl…he could hear Edward's soft voice as he read the words of Wuthering Heights. He moved from Emmett's side to Charlie's placing his hand on the man's back, looking over at Emmett who watched, his face obviously agonized. The front door was thrown open and his wife rushed in, and he suddenly realized that Alice hadn't called her…that no one had.

"Carlisle…" She looked over at Charlie, her eyes wide and panicked, and he moved to envelop her in his arms. "What…what happened?" She cried. He put his hand against her head, pressing her into his shoulder.

"It's Bella." He choked out, rocking her back and forth and praying that she could hear Edward upstairs. "Her truck went over the embankment…it caught fire…" He heard Charlie sob as Emmett took up his place by Carlisle's side, and his wife placed her lips by his ear.

"Did you get to her in time?" She whispered, her voice pleading.

He nodded slightly, rubbing her back. "She's upstairs…we didn't get the morphine in time…I don't know if it's doing any good…or how long she'll be able to keep quiet." Esme nodded, backing up and hurrying over to Charlie, placing a hand on his shoulder. Thankful for the reprieve, he hurried back up the stairs to sit with Bella.

Edward was reading to her, one of her hands held tightly in his, her other hand held in Jasper's. Her jaw was clenched and it was obvious that she was conscious, but doing her best to keep quiet. Alice sat on the floor at Jasper's side, her head resting against his leg, and his son stroked her hair gently with his other hand, his gift keeping everyone in the room as calm as possible. Rosalie sat by Bella's head in a chair, her eyes closed as she listened to Edward read in silence.

Carlisle sat beside his blonde daughter, his hand on her head, and she sobbed suddenly, turning her head and shaking as she sobbed against his shoulder. "I thought she was dead." She managed. "What if you hadn't gotten there in time?" He put his arms around her, holding her tightly and he fought back his own sobs at the question he'd asked himself too many times, instead focusing on the rise and fall of Carlie's side, her head on Bella's stomach, and the low, steady voice of his son as he read to the girl on the sofa.

"I did get to her in time. She's going to be okay. Listen to her heartbeat…it's as strong as Emmett's was. She's going to be fine." He promised, stroking his daughter's back as he listened to Charlie sob downstairs.

After a while, the man asked about Edward, but his son didn't even pause as he read. "He's upstairs…Carlisle is with him." Emmett told Charlie in a grim voice. "He's not handling it well." Carlisle couldn't even begin to imagine…if he'd been too late…he may have lost his son as well.

'But I didn't. I wasn't too late. She's fine.' He told himself firmly as he held Rosalie, now sitting on another sofa in the room. He sat back against he side of the sofa, watching Bella, and Rosalie leaned against him, her face against his shoulder as she tried to stop crying. But he didn't blame her…Alice was as shaken up as Rose, probably more so, but she had Jasper. Emmett was still downstairs, helping Esme with Charlie, and he knew that Rosalie had come to love her new sister. The thought of losing her, after all they'd been through…it was unbearable.

Bella whimpered and Edward tripped over the words, his hand tightening around hers as he went on, and Carlisle felt Jasper redouble his efforts. If she started screaming, they would have to keep her quiet…somehow. Jasper leaned forward, stroking her hand with his thumb. "Shh, Bella. Keep quiet just a little longer, darlin'. Just until Charlie leaves. Okay?" She whimpered again, this time a little louder as her arm spasmed, and Jasper closed his eyes, squeezing her hand. "Shh, darlin. It's okay." He murmured as Edward continued to read, and her jaw locked once more, her breathing rate increasing as she suppressed another pained noise.

He had to get Charlie out of here. Soon. She wouldn't be able to hold back much longer, and he hated that she had to worry about it, especially when she was in so much pain. "Get Charlie out of here. Hurry Emmett." He murmured, knowing his son could hear him. "She can't keep quiet much longer."

He didn't pay any attention to his son's words as he led Charlie out of the house, but he did hear the cruiser start up, and then Esme in the room with them, sitting on Rosalie's other side and taking his hand as she watched Bella, her eyes pained and full of tears. "She's okay." He reassured her. "She'll be fine. The venom is working." She nodded, biting down on her lip and holding Rosalie against her side for a moment, kissing her daughter's head.

There was a soft ringing and Carlisle cringed, recognizing Bella's cell phone. He stood, reaching carefully into her pocket and flipping the phone open, moving to the edge of the room and placing it against his ear. "Hello, this is Carlisle Cullen." He greeted the young girl.

"Oh…Dr. Cullen. I meant to call Bella's cell…I'm sorry…"

"This is her cell, Angela." He informed her gently, closing his eyes as he tried to figure out how to break the news to her.

"Oh…she said she was going to come over earlier…and she hasn't shown up….it's been a while. Do you know if she's okay?" He clenched his jaw, shaking his head.

"Angela…" He allowed the pain to leak into his voice. It wasn't a stretch that he would be devastated. "There was an accident…"

"Oh god…is she okay? Is she at the hospital?"

"No, Angela. Bella's truck was hit head on by another car…she went over the embankment." He hated himself…he hated every word that came out of his mouth. This girl had been a wonderful friend to Bella…she deserved better. "Bella didn't make it." Esme took the phone from his numb hand, her gentle voice full of tears and reassurance, and he went back to his daughter's side, resting his head against the arm of the sofa and closing his eyes.

They all stayed in the room until Emmett returned, grim faced and tired looking as he knelt at Bella's side, reaching out for Rosalie and holding her against him as Charlie shifted to pull his wife closer. Bella was crying out more often now as the venom moved throughout her body, slowly changing her into one of them. Her hands would sometimes clench against Edward or Jasper's hands, followed by a whimper of pain, but she was obviously still trying to keep quiet, and was mostly succeeding thanks to Jasper's constant monitoring.

As the evening wore on and she was still quiet, Alice left Jasper's side and went downstairs, accompanied by Rosalie. Carlisle knew that he would have to leave her side as well. There were arrangements to cancel, and arrangements to make. Instead of a wedding, they would have a funeral. And they would have to announce the news…her mother would have to be informed. And Phil. The entire town would mourn the girl they'd gossiped about for the last few months. Their big story was dead, Carlisle thought bitterly. Poor Lauren would have to find a new target.

He touched her face before he left, whispering that he'd be right back. Moving downstairs, he paused when he found Alice in the living room, methodically ripping pages out of her wedding scrapbook, her eyes hollow and haunted. He hurried to her side, gently capturing her hands in one of his and taking the book away. "She's not dead, sweetheart. She can still have her wedding." He whispered, kissing her hair and holding her. "We weren't too late, Alice. We saved her…you saved her. If it hadn't been for you…" He stopped when she shook her head, sobbing and clutching his shirt.

"She died in the vision…it didn't change until you saved her…you almost…she almost…I watched her die...over and over…" He rocked her back and forth, moving the half torn scrapbook over to the couch and pulling her into his lap.

"She's okay." He whispered. "The vision was wrong. We saved her. Bella is going to be fine. Okay?" He pulled away, cupping her face in his hands. "Sweetheart, we saved her. And we can have a wedding after we move…and you can plan it if you want. It'll be okay." She nodded, biting her lip and sniffing softly.

"Angela." She whispered the girl's name, her voice pained.

"I know…"

"We can't do this to her."

"I know."

She lasted a full nine hours before she began to cry out. At first they were soft, pained cries, and Emmett or Jasper would be able to soothe her, stroking her face. Esme got a cool washcloth, gently wiping the girl's face and whispering to her. Edward kept reading, his determined, pained face making Carlisle's heart clench. But by morning, she was screaming, her head thrown back as he yelled their names, begging them to help her, begging them to put out the fire, and they all moved closer. Edward kept reading while Jasper kept her hand, but the others touched her face or her arms, hoping that their presence would do something to ease her suffering. And then she begged them to kill her, to make the pain stop…

She was out of her mind with pain as she begged again and again for one of them to kill her, giving up on screaming their names for the most part, but it didn't ease their pain or sorrow. Alice took her phone for a while, disappearing into the woods as she canceled the wedding plans…the caterers, the dresses, the decorations, explaining that the young bride had been killed in a car accident, and that no, she couldn't care less about the money. All morning she made her calls, finally coming back around noon and telling Carlisle and Esme that Charlie was about to wake up and that someone better check on him.

Esme volunteered….Carlisle couldn't leave the house, couldn't bring himself to leave his little girl's side as she screamed and cried, the tears that had fallen down her face slowing even as she cried out in agony. This he remembered…he remembered every moment of his change, how the pain had been too unbearable and yet, somehow, he'd stayed quiet, knowing his life had depended on it. He was just glad it was one less thing for her to worry about. No one was close enough to hear her screams. They were safe as far as that was concerned. He didn't even think about the wolves. If they attacked now, while his little girl lay screaming in pain, he would have now qualms about killing them. For their sake, he hoped Sam was kept in the dark.

Esme called him from Charlie's, explaining that the man was too deep in his own grief to even think about planning a funeral, and he promised that he would take care of it. He'd stolen the man's daughter from him, even though he'd had no choice. Regardless, he would give the man a funeral. And then, as soon as he could, he would try to explain things to Charlie…or let her see him. He wouldn't let the man suffer for any longer than was necessary.

According to Alice's visions, Angela would be able to handle it. Or maybe she was lying…maybe Alice couldn't see. But he didn't care. They would do the same for the girl who had been such a good friend to Bella when she'd needed one the most. He wouldn't hurt the girl like this. For all he cared, the girl could come live with them in England. It hadn't been until Angela that his daughter had finally begun to really heal from those terrible panic attacks…he owed that girl everything.

He waited for a few hours, comforting her as best as he could as she screamed, the agonized sounds filling the house. Edward had given up reading for a while, the book falling to the floor as he knelt beside his mate, his breath catching in sobs as her cries cut through all of them. Jasper's head hung on his shoulders, his jaw clenched too tightly as he tried to take her pain away. Carlisle looked at the clock at he stood, realizing it had been a full 24 hours. 'Two more days.' He told himself as he left the room, pulling his phone out of his pocket, mentally planning the funeral arrangements. 'We can take two more days…and then she'll be okay…she'll be one of us.'

I never managed to lose consciousness but I did seem to drift once or twice, when the pain was at its worst. I wasn't sure how much time had passed but when the fire spread to my stomach, and then down my legs and arms, I couldn't fight anymore, and I must have screamed for hours or days until my throat was raw…or should have been…maybe it was just the fire that burned everywhere else. I could hear them talking sometimes, and I was sure that they were with me. Edward never released my hand…not once did I feel Jasper let up. Carlisle and Esme left at times, probably dealing with Charlie, but they all stayed when I screamed, begging for them to kill me…begging for the pain to stop.

They would only caress my face and arms with their cool hands, promising that it would be over soon, that I would be okay. For a while, I couldn't understand their words, the pain driving every other thought from my mind except that I wanted to die…that I couldn't imagine anything worse than this. My head burned and acid seemed to run through my veins, burning me from the inside. They must have kept everyone away…never once did they try to keep me quiet again. Edward and Jasper never left…except once when Alice was moving me during one of the times I had drifted off. But they'd immediately had my hands once more, not leaving my side again…I knew that for sure. Jasper's calm soothed me even in the worst of it, and on and off I heard Edward's voice. That, more than anything, seemed to bring me back to awareness.

The pain began to recede after what felt like weeks. First it was my fingers, and I found that both of my hands were encased in large, warm, gentle ones. Then it was my wrists, my feet, my ankles…it was slow, but I was finding that I could think around the pain. I'd been driving…the memories were hard…unfocused, but my brain was trying. Someone had hit their breaks…I'd swerved into the other lane…the truck had hit me head on…rolling down the hill, my head hitting the glass…Carlie…Carlisle….

I could hear his voice if I concentrated, speaking in low tones to someone…although I wasn't sure what he was saying. At some point I'd stopped screaming, I realized. My throat still burned unbearably, but I knew that I could speak if I wanted to. I locked my jaw again. I'd put them through enough of that. I suddenly caught the name 'Darcy' and realized that Edward was reading Pride and Prejudice. I felt the corners of my mouth lift into a smile and felt a rush of happiness and affection. Wishing I could thank Jasper once again, I focused on the words and Edward's voice as he read the ending of the book. "There she is." Jasper said softly, and I felt Edward touch my face.

The heat continued to retreat slowly, leaving my arms and legs and stomach until it concentrated in my heart…although I had no idea how much time was passing. There was shifting around me…for the first time, Jasper let go of my hand and I heard people move around the room. Carlie, who I could still feel beside me, was either moved or left of her own accord. Edward stayed close, however, and I felt my heart speed up painfully, the pounding too loud in my ears as Edward squeezed my hand. And then…it was silent.


	41. Chapter 41

Seth stood in the clearing outside of the Cullen house on Monday afternoon, wincing when he heard Bella scream. Someone left the house and in the blink of an eye, the leader, Carlisle, was standing across from him, his eyes tired and sad. "I thought you were going to wait." He spoke hesitantly, flinching when she screamed again.

"She was in a car accident." Carlisle explained softly, glancing back at the house. "She was dying when I got to the scene…we would have lost her if I'd waited." Seth nodded. He couldn't blame the guy…better a vampire than dead in his opinion.

She screamed again, this time her voice breaking off at the end as she cried, and he swallowed hard, looking down at the ground. "How much longer?" He didn't know anything about the process of transforming into a vampire, but was gathering that it was quite painful.

"Probably one more day. This is the second day….it usually takes at least three, and we injected her with as much venom as we could." Seth nodded, chancing a glace up at the man. He looked exhausted and infinitely sad. Every time the girl screamed or cried out, he would flinch or close his eyes, ad he was constantly looking back at the house.

"I'll tell Jacob…we'll be around. Jacob and Leah and me…we'll patrol your borders. Keep Sam out." Carlisle shook his head.

"You do not have to go to war with him for us, Seth."

"We want to." Seth tried to make his voice cheerful. "Things are getting kind of dull around here." He knew the man could see through him, and a gentle, cold hand was placed on his shoulder.

"Thank you."

"Are you leaving as soon as she's changed?" He wondered, but Carlisle shook his head.

"The funeral is planned for a Sunday, six days from now…that was the earliest I could get the pastor and the venue. There's no body to bury of course, but we'll still have a service. We're going to speak to Charlie that evening, and then we're going to leave in the night. Until then, we'll keep Bella in the house as much as we can. But she will need to hunt."

"We'll make sure Sam stays away…you should be fine to take her as long as you stay away from the border…and Forks. If there's a problem, we'll let you know." Carlisle nodded, squeezing his shoulder.

"Thank you, Seth. We truly appreciate this."

"Hey, don't worry about it." He grinned, turning and heading back to the woods, heading home. He needed to speak to Jacob about all this. They wouldn't be able to keep this from Sam for long. But until he spoke to Jacob, he'd have to stay in his human form.

"It's almost over." She had stopped screaming gradually, her agonized screams turning into pained cries, and then quiet, infrequent whimpers until her jaw was locked once more. Alice kept a cool cloth on her face, knowing that it probably no longer made a difference, but it gave her something to do. The little dog, who left only when they carried her out of the room to force her to eat or go outside, stood, turned around three times, and lay back down, forcing herself under Bella's arm.

Alice had shooed the boys from the room a few hours ago, cleaning her up with Esme's help and changing her into a beautiful blue dress and a pair of high heels, wanting to see her sister's new grace in action as soon as possible. She smiled a bit. Bella would hate them. She fought back a laugh, reminding herself that her baby sister was probably still in pain and the joking could wait until later. For now, she removed the cloth, placing it on the floor beside her, and gently ran her fingers through Bella's hair.

Edward was finishing up Pride and Prejudice. At her soft declaration, everyone else had entered the room. While Rosalie and Esme had been helping Carlisle with the plans for the funeral, Emmett had just returned from speaking with Charlie. They listened to her heart speed up, and Carlisle gestured for Jasper to take Carlie. He let go of her hand almost regretfully, his eyes on their sister, and Alice could nearly read his mind as he picked up the squirming puppy, opening the door and letting her out into the hallway. He was worried…worried about Bella and how she would act, how she would be emotionally, how stable she would be. He was afraid that his sister was gone, and afraid that she wouldn't be able to handle this. As he took his place slightly in front of her by the wall, she took his hand. "She's going to be fine." She assured him, kissing his cheek.

Emmett looked more eager than anything, and Alice knew that he had an arm wrestling match planned. Edward, the only one who remained at her side, looked both incredibly excited and nervous. She had no idea what he would have to be nervous about, but she was sure he was being silly. Bella loved him more than anything. Nothing would change that. Edward glanced up at her, snorting softly and then looking back at Bella. Carlisle and Esme just looked relieved. They'd been so worried, even though he assured all of them that her heart was beating steadily and that the change was going as well as it ever did. It had been just over three days…he'd bitten her around noon on Sunday, and it was nearly eight o'clock, Wednesday. Her first hunt would be in the dark. 'Fun,' Alice thought with a grin, and Edward chuckled softly.

Her heart raced, the speed picking up, and she felt Carlisle hold back, and knew he had to fight the urge to race to her side. She reached out and took his hand, squeezing briefly. Rosalie leaned against Emmett's side, her head against his shoulder, and he kissed her hair gently. "I love you." He murmured, stroking her hair gently as held onto his shirt. Suddenly her heart slowed a little, and a tiny pained whimper escaped from her mouth before, suddenly, her heart stopped, and the girl's eyes flew open, bright red in the dim light.

My eyes flew open, and I found myself staring at the ceiling…at every little particle that floated in the air, at the beautiful, complex pieces of dust that floated just above my face. Never before had I seen anything so beautiful and I stared at them, mesmerized. Out of habit, I inhaled, something that felt strange…and then I realized that I had no need for inhaling, that I'd only done it because my body did it almost automatically…but with the action came scents…wood, glass, fabric, the forest…then sweet, almost familiar smells that were closer, the musky smell of a dog, along with ink, leather, parchment, plastic…I couldn't even name everything. But as I tried, I realized that only a second had passed.

The sights were just as overwhelming…colors I had no names for, tiny, complex patterns…and that was just the ceiling above my head. And then something warm touched my arm, and my body reacted before I had the chance to think about it…I was up and standing against the far wall, my eyes wide, my teeth bared, and found myself staring at…Edward.

His hand was stretched out toward me, his eyes gentle. "Bella? It's alright, love. I know it's a lot to take in." I relaxed then, my body moving once again as soon as the thought entered my mind. Glancing over at the other wall where I could hear only breathing, my eyes lit first on Jasper who stood in front, and my own eyes widened. He grinned ruefully as I took it in…literally ever inch of his face was covered in scars and I felt a pang of…sadness. How many times had my brother had to fight for his life? He smiled at me genuinely then, a familiar wave of comfort touching me, but before he could speak, Carlisle stepped forward, everything moving too quickly for me to keep up with.

"Sweetheart?" He stood in front of me, and my breath literally caught. It was almost impossible to focus with the scents of my family and their clothes and the house and the million other things pressing against my mind, but his face…I'd thought it was perfect before….but looking at Carlisle was like looking at a sun…I almost felt the need to squint. "Are you alright?" I stepped forward and his arms opened. I threw myself into them, surprised when his body shifted a little, his leg moving to catch his balance, and remembered that my own strength was now something to be careful about.

"Dad." I whispered, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I love you."

"I love you too, Bella." He mumbled into my hair, one hand stroking my back in the same way it always did, and I knew that everything would be absolutely fine. He pulled away after a second with a relieved smile, touching my face. But then I met Edward's gaze and smiled softly. His eyes lit up, and Carlisle stepped back to let Edward throw his own arms around me.

"I love you so much." He mumbled, his own arms tight around me, and I forced myself to be careful when squeezing him back. He pulled away, cupping my face in his hands, and smiled. "My Bella." He whispered, kissing my softly on the lips…and nothing could have prepared me for that. Every other kiss before that…I couldn't imagine how much restraint he must have shown…because this…if my brain had been having trouble focusing before it certainly wasn't now, because the feel of his lips on mine was the only thing on my mind…which became apparent when a throat cleared loudly and I pulled away from him, abruptly realizing that I was in a room with the rest of my family…including my father.

"So….are you going to say hello to the rest of us or…."

I had to grin at Emmett whose smirk would have made me blush if I were capable of it. He held his arms open and I bounded into them, mumbling a hello in my strange new voice, then laughing when he spun me around like he always did. "Hey, little sister." He sat me back on the ground, handing me off to Alice who kissed my cheek, her hands soft and warm when they took mine, and grinned at me.

Looking at Alice's face, I suddenly remembered the wedding scrapbook….the work, the planning… "Oh Alice…the wedding! I'm so sorry!" A strange, pained look passed over her face and she shook her head, biting her lip.

"I don't care about the stupid wedding." She whispered, squeezing my hand. "I thought we were going to lose you."

Rosalie came forward then, along with Esme, and my mother and sister pulled me into their arms, their embraces gentle and warm and protective. I felt Esme shudder softly, and her lips pressed against my forehead. "Esme?" I looked up at her, touching her arm when her smile looked tearful, despite her dry eyes.

"I thought you were dead….when I came home and Charlie was crying…and Carlisle was sitting with him…I thought I'd lost my baby." I threw my arms around her, more fiercely this time, and was scarcely aware of Carlisle stepping forward, his hand on her back. Rosalie, too, had a pained, frightened look on her face, and she hugged me so tightly that it almost hurt. As Esme pulled back and smiled a little shakily from Carlisle's side, I focused on her words for the first time, abruptly remembering what I'd forgotten, but before I could ask about Charlie, Jasper cleared his throat playfully.

I was not afraid of Jasper. Or that's what I told myself as my body stiffened in reaction to the sight of him so close. He screamed dangerous, the scars warning me that if I had any intention of fighting him, it would certainly end in my death. And then I felt immensely guilty, because this was Jasper, my brother! The one who'd sat with me while I'd screamed and held my hand and kept me safe while I was human and…how could I possibly fear him? His eyes were gentle and he held out his arms. "Yeah, it's scary I know. Don't worry, darlin. I wouldn't hurt you." And then I was in his arms, hugging him tightly while he chuckled. "Easy, little sister. You're stronger than us now…it's your turn to be careful." I nodded against his shoulder and whispered an apology, trying to be gentle as I hugged him and, focusing as best as I could, I let myself feel every bit of love and gratitude I had for my brother who'd kept me calm through the terrible pain. He stiffened a little, leaning on me for a second, and I realized my emotions were more intense than before…even during my panic attacks I hadn't felt this strongly.

"Hey, it's alright, I understand. Calm down, I love you too, Bella." He assured me, rubbing my back, and I noticed that I'd gone from gratitude to worry once more. He chuckled at the look on my face. "Yeah, it's hard at first. You'll get used to it." He promised, keeping a hand on my shoulder.

I looked back over at Edward, then the others, trying to take in all of their slightly amused faces…the minute details of their perfection I'd missed before…and then I remembered what I'd nearly forgotten twice now. "Charlie!" I cried, turning to Carlisle. "Did you…how long was I…" He stepped forward, Jasper's influence calming me a little as they all suddenly watched me warily, something I didn't understand.

"It's alright Bella. Calm down." He cautioned me, and I felt Jasper move closer to my side, making me stare between them in confusion. "The accident was three days ago….it's about ten o'clock." I glanced out the window, a little surprised to find it was dark outside, not that the darkness affected my vision.

"Why do you keep telling me to calm down? What's going on?" Carlisle gave me a little smile, reaching out and touching my shoulder.

"Nothing's going on. Newborns are known for being….emotional." He told me carefully. "We just don't want you to get upset…" He trailed off, glancing at Jasper for a second then smiled at me. "We can talk about this later. You must be thirsty." As soon as he spoke, I felt the dry burn in the back of my throat that I had nearly forgotten and grimaced, bringing a hand up to cup my neck. He smiled gently. "I thought so." Edward stepped forward then, reaching for my hand and I stared at him a little warily.

"Don't be nervous, love. It's easy. I'll show you." He promised, and I took his hand hesitantly, ignoring Emmett's chuckle and starting to follow him before Alice grabbed my arm, making me stiffen and whirl to face her, and I felt Jasper move forward. I felt a pang of hurt then, glancing over at Jasper's defensive position, and he paused. I wouldn't have hurt Alice…how could he think I would hurt her?

My sister ignored all of this, looking at Edward irritably. "You promised!"

"She needs to hunt, Alice. That can wait."

"No! You promised!"

"Promised what?" I finally asked.

"C'mon!" She grabbed my hand, pulling me over to a mirror I hadn't noticed, then gestured me toward it. I looked at her a little strangely, then turned to face the mirror and froze.

The girl in the mirror was beautiful. I felt a rush of happiness just looking at her. She was just as beautiful as Alice or Esme, fit to stand next to the boy that approached, placing a hand on her shoulder. Her lips were full, her skin too pale but still flawless and beautiful…but her eyes. They were a shocking, bright red. I brought a hand up, touching the skin beneath them, a wave of shock hitting me when the girl in the mirror moved as well. "The eyes." I whispered, meeting Edward's in the mirror.

"Animal blood will dilute them after a month or so…then they'll be the same as ours. We have contact lenses if you need to go out among humans…" He sounded a little worried and I wondered if my anxiety was obvious. But looking in the mirror the girl seemed completely composed and I searched for some small trace of myself in her face.

'The lips.' I realized, finding that they were still slightly out of balance, and my nose…it was mostly the same. I felt a little relief then, turning to Edward who was still staring at me strangely. "What? Disappointed?" I asked teasingly.

"Yes, actually." I felt a blinding wave of hurt, my own body tensing at the pain, and Alice bared her teeth at him, hissing angrily. Beside her, Jasper stepped forward, his furious eyes on Edward, his fists tight at his side, and Emmett was close behind. Beside them, Carlisle looked both stunned and livid. "I thought that when you were changed, I might finally be able to hear your mind…" He went on, ignoring their reactions, his hand touching my cheek. "But you're as silent as ever." He wrapped an arm around me, my hurt dissolving as I gave him a small smile, wrapping my arms around his neck and relaxing when his lips found mine again.

"Well, at least I'm pretty." I teased.

"You were never merely pretty, Bella." He scolded me, cupping my cheek in his hand, then moving closer once more to kiss me.

"Guys? Hunting? Remember?" I ignored Emmett, as did Edward, until finally Carlisle cleared his throat and I sighed, crossing my arms and turning to them irritably.

"You really should show her how to hunt." He reminded us, obviously amused, and once again the burning in my throat was the first thing on my mid. Edward grinned, taking my hand once more.

"Alright. Ready?" He asked, and I felt nervous again. But he tugged me toward him, leading me out the door of the library and down the stairs where I suddenly realized that I was wearing a short blue dress and…high heels.

"Really? Stilettos? Is there a cocktail party later?" I snapped. Edward chuckled, inclining his head toward Alice who grinned at me from the top of the stairs, her tongue stuck out. Rolling my eyes, I kicked the shoes off, flinging them back at her and smirking when she caught them easily. As we headed toward the front door, I heard a heartbeat and turned, immediately opening my arms and kneeling, embracing the dog as she ran toward me. "Carlie!" I cried happily, running my hand carefully over her back, surprised to feel the strength in my body as I held back, embracing her and letting her lick my face, her nose wrinkling a little. "Good girl. Hey, sweetie." Edward chuckled behind me and I felt a wave of some kind of emotion I couldn't identify. Looking up, I found Jasper at the foot of the stairs, watching me in what I guessed was confusion. I let him feel my own confusion and he shook his head as Carlie pawed at his legs, wanting his attention.

"Aren't you thirsty Bella?" He finally asked as he knelt a little to rub her head, his eyes narrowed a bit in obvious confusion and some other emotion I couldn't identify, and I sighed when the reminder brought it back. I realized that there was a part of my brain constantly keeping tabs on my thirst, just like a part of my brain used to keep track of my temperature and my breathing, and that it was easily relegated to the back of my mind if I didn't focus on it.

"Yeah." I mumbled, kissing the dog's head once more. Edward had been right. I could easily smell her blood, but it had the same effect as the smell of cabbage had on me when I was human. I knew it was edible, but I had no plans to eat it. "I'll be back, sweetie." I cooed to the puppy that wriggled happily, jumping up on her back legs when I stood, dancing toward us, but was held back by Jasper when we left, shutting the door behind us.

"Is Jasper alright?" I asked as we walked out toward the stream hand in hand, wondering at my brother's strange reactions and honestly a little hurt. He watched me as though he no longer trusted me…like I was a stranger to him. Edward smiled a little.

"Jasper is…adjusting his views on a few things." He paused at the stream, turning to me. "Ready?" I looked back and forth between him and the stream.

"For?"

He chuckled. "To jump. I can carry you if you want." He offered. I almost took him up on it…then realized that my brothers were probably watching and listening to us. Shaking my head I looked again at the stream. He smiled. "Here, I'll go first." He took a few short steps then leaped over, landing easily, then turned to look at me. Taking a few steps back, I took a deep breath, started to step forward, then groaned when my dress ripped on the side.

"Dang it Alice." I mumbled, ripping off a large section of the dress, then, ignoring the distant laughter, I made a running leap, shocked to find myself landing just as easily as he had…several hundred feet past him. As I was in the air, I was shocked to realize that my vision was perfect. I knew exactly where to place my feet, landing easily and taking a few quick, short steps. I whirled, laughing aloud, and grinned when he ran over to meet me. "Can we do that again!?" I cried, starting to go back. He shook his head and chuckled, grabbing my hand.

"Hunting Bella. Focus." I wrinkled my nose at him, but took off when he did, surprised to feel the strength of my limbs as I ran after him, my own body carrying me nearly as fast as his. I found that I could nearly keep up, and if I used my newborn strength to lengthen my strides, I could overcome him, racing ahead and laughing. I heard him laugh behind me, finally calling out as he came to a stop. "So, did you want to stay in the state?" He asked, and I slowed, spinning around to face him.

"Sure. Fine with me." He shook his head, snickering at me, and held out a hand.

"Okay, listen." I stood still, staring at him in confusion for a second before taking his advice. I wrinkled my nose as the scent hit me…

"Deer…five?" I asked, looking at him dubiously, and he chuckled, touching my face for a moment.

"Close. Elk." He laughed a little, his voice barely audible even to me. "I know…the scent isn't very appealing. Carnivores always smell a little better, but humans smell the best." I sighed, nodding and resigning myself to it, then turned toward the direction the scent was coming from, where I could hear the steady heartbeats of the five animals. "It's instinctual." He reassured me, his hand on my back, gently guiding me forward, and I crouched beside him, creeping forward until we caught sight of them. And then I found that he was right…it was instinctual.

I moved more quickly than I had when we were running together, my body surprising me as I was suddenly biting through the flesh of the animal easily, ignoring the meat and getting right to the blood at it's throat. It cried out, but I felt its neck snap as it fell, and I drank eagerly. It didn't taste great, but it was hot and it soothed my throat, so that was enough for me.

I sat up once there was no blood left, sighing because my throat still burned painfully, and I touched it, my thumb rubbing back and forth as though that would help. I looked down at my shirt, wincing when I saw the spots of blood, and I wiped my mouth self consciously as I stood. Turning, I found Edward staring at me from a few feet away, a slight smile on his face, not a hair out of place as he moved away from the dead animal at his feet. "I know…it was terrible." He shook his head with a smile.

"Not at all. You did well for your first time. Are you still thirsty?" I nodded, and his eyes gentled. He moved forward, his hand gentle on my cheek.

"Let's find some carnivores then, shall we?" I agreed, taking his hand and following him into the woods once more.

It didn't take long for us to come across a large cat, crouched in a tree, and the scent was marginally more appealing. I crouched forward, this time eager for the relief that I knew would come, but suddenly the wind changed direction, and the most appealing scent I'd ever come across had me racing toward it, leaving Edward behind as he shouted for me.

I forgot all about him as I raced through the woods, my legs carrying me faster than I had ever imagined I could move. I didn't even begin to tire…on the contrary, the faster I went, the more comfortable I felt. I suddenly realized that I would never tire….but the only thing really on my mind was getting to that scent. And then heard footsteps behind me. Torn between wanting to reach that scent and wanting to protect my meal, I whirled, bearing my teeth and growling loudly, declaring that I would fight for whatever it was I was smelling. 'Humans.' I realized suddenly, the instinctual knowledge taking me by surprise, but the realization didn't bother me, not when my head was filled with their enticing scent. I wanted that blood!

"Bella?" And then I saw Edward, his hand reaching out for me, and I froze, horrified at myself. I had just growled at him…at my fiancé…the person I loved more than anyone in the world. "Bella, it's okay…" He moved a little closer, slowly, and I shook my head, the bloodlust clearing as I took a step toward him. He watched me closely and I grabbed his hand.

"We've got to get away from here." I told him simply, holding my breath as much as I could, and his eyes widened.

"Can you?" I didn't answer, tugging him along as I ran as quickly as I could back in the direction we'd come, and he ran beside me, my hand tightly in his until I felt that it was safe to breath again. "Bella…"

"I'm so sorry." I pleaded with him, my tone remorseful.

"What?" He put his hands on my shoulders.

"I growled at you." He laughed incredulously.

"Of course you did! You're only an hour old…and there were humans! But how did you stop?"

"I couldn't kill them!" I cried, horrified. "I mean…I just held my breath…I almost did kill them…."

"Bella, I should be the one apologizing. I didn't check carefully enough to make sure there was no one around. But Bella, when we hunt, we give in to our senses. I'm over a hundred years old, and I would have trouble running away if I smelled a human while I was hunting. That's why I could never let you come with me. But you…you shouldn't have been able to do that." I didn't know what to say to that…how to answer. I just knew that I'd almost killed someone, and I'd growled at him. He stepped forward, wrapping his arms around me and kissing me, completely distracting me from my self loathing. "My love…you must have some sort of gift…either that, or you're the strangest newborn I've ever met." I smiled a little when I saw the fondness and love in his eyes. "Come. Let's finish up, and then get back to the house and talk to Carlisle. We have to hurry." He didn't explain, but I remembered the wolves and the uneasiness within the pack, and had a feeling it had something to do with that.

He found me another mountain lion that destroyed my dress, but tasted much better than the elk, and when I was done, he wrapped his jacket around me. "That bad?" I asked, glancing down at myself in embarrassment. He chuckled, his eyes darker than before as he stared at me in a way that made my stomach clench in strange anticipation.

"Actually, I prefer you without the jacket…but everyone else will be home, so…" I would have blushed if I'd been able, but he didn't give me time to think about it. Instead, he pulled me into his arms suddenly, kissing me fiercely, and my arms went around him, my body pressing as close to him as I could get until he pulled away, sighing regretfully. "It isn't safe out here…we need to hurry back." I nodding, taking his hand and following him back to the house, part of my brain wondering where that would have gone had it been safe.


	42. Chapter 42

The entire family was in the living room when we arrived, and Carlisle smiled at me as soon as I entered, moving over and pulling me into his arms, apparently not noticing the state of my outfit. There was something about the way he embraced me…the same way he had before. I wondered if he was okay…if something had happened, but I didn't ask, instead just letting him hold me for a moment. "How did it go?" He wondered, glancing down at Edward's jacket around me. Edward crossed his arms, turning to our parents. Carlie, who'd been lying on the couch, trotted over to me and sat up on her back legs, begging for me to pick her up. I remembered having her at my side during the change and knew she'd probably been worried. I pulled her into my arms, kissing the top of her head.

"We ran into some hikers, actually." He spoke in a strange, almost smug tone that was lost on both Carlisle and Esme. She looked at me with a mixture of sympathy and worry, while Carlisle frowned sternly at Edward.

"Edward! You didn't check the area before you took her out?"

"Not carefully enough."

"Oh sweetheart…it's okay." Esme spoke with some difficultly, taking my hand. Jasper was seated on the sofa next to Alice, the book in his lap forgotten, his face a mask of resignation, and I looked at him strangely while Carlisle scolded Edward. Alice looked smug as well, however, and Rosalie was watching her, as was Emmett. Turning back to me, Emmett lifted an eyebrow, but since my eyes were already red, I knew they couldn't tell.

"It wasn't his fault." I put in, trying to defend him while I held onto my dog.

"No, Carlisle's right. It was irresponsible for me to take you out without checking the area for humans first." Edward corrected me.

"We all slip up sometimes, sweetheart." Esme assured me gently, moving closer to where I was holding Carlie, my hand on her back as she curled up in my arms. "We don't blame you. It's not your fault…" I shook my head, starting to correct her, but Edward spoke up.

"She didn't hunt them." He announced, an incredulous, slightly awed look still on his face, and Carlisle looked at me once more. Emmett, catching on, grinned, his incredulous look matching Edward's.

"What?" Carlisle was staring at me now, his eyes wide.

"She started to, but then she heard me chasing after her. Then she held her breath…and ran away." Edward spoke slowly, his incredulity mirrored on Carlisle's face now.

"You left out the part where I growled at you." I mumbled, crossing my arms. One thing hadn't changed; I still didn't like the spotlight.

"Did you get a couple of swipes in too?" Emmett asked excitedly, jumping up and throwing an arm around my shoulders.

"No! Of course not!" I cried, fighting amusement at his dejected look.

"Dang. You're the only one of us who could…he can't get into your mind." I elbowed him and he chuckled, but Carlisle was still staring at me in shock.

"Bella…how did you…" He shook his head, a slight smile replacing his shock. "That's incredible." He said instead, obviously sensing that I didn't want to talk about this. "Newborns usually are incapable of showing such restraint."

I smiled a little at the soft-spoken praise, then glanced up when Jasper stood abruptly, staring between us, his eyes narrowed in confusion. He shook his head, backing away from us, then turned. "I can't stand this." He mumbled, breaking into a run and disappearing through the back door. Edward sighed, running his thumb over the back of my hand, and Esme started to put a hand on my shoulder, Carlisle right beside her. Emmett shook his head and opened his mouth to speak, squeezing me against his side, and Alice was probably about to apologize, but I didn't want to speak to any of them…I pulled away from under Emmett's arm, running through the door, grateful for my new speed, and following my brother's scent. 'Why is he mad at me? I don't understand…what did I do? I have to apologize….or something.'

"Jasper wait!" I raced after him, knowing that it would be easy to catch him but also knowing that he might not want to speak to me. If he told me to go away…well I would. I caught sight of him up ahead as I broke through the trees. "Jasper please!" I cried, freezing in my tracks when he whirled, his eyes furious. I took a step back, unable to help myself as his livid face made me want to flee. My entire body screamed 'run!' as I began to retreat. I couldn't fight Jasper…he was my brother…and he was kind of scary. "I…I'm sorry." I told him quietly, cowering back, my knees bending as I stepped back, my shoulders coming up in a defensive position as I lifted my hands started tried to slip back into the woods, my body instinctively trying to make itself appear smaller. He might have been my brother, but my body reacted as though he were a stranger; a dangerous vampire that I had no hopes of fighting. I fought back the urge to call for help, instead turning to race back to the house. Then abruptly he was holding onto my arm, holding me firmly in place. I suppressed a frightened cry, whirling and about to beg him to let me go, but his expression was full of pain.

"Don't Bella…" He pleaded, releasing me and lifting his hands. His voice dropped to just above a pained whisper. "I would never hurt you, darlin."

"I know." I whispered, swallowing and looking up at him a little shakily, meeting his pained gaze. "Sorry." I said again, still not sure why he was so upset.

"Bella…" He sighed, crossing his arms, exasperation warring with sorrow. "You don't have to be sorry."

"No…Jasper, I didn't mean…I didn't think you…" I shook my head, my voice growing smaller by the second. "Please don't be mad at me."

He seemed to deflate, taking a step closer. "Bella…I'm not mad at you. I couldn't be…" He gripped my hand, his gaze sad, and pushed emotions at me, gentle waves of his affection surrounding me, mingled with sorrow. After a few minutes, he spoke quietly. "I'd lived with the Cullens for over fifty years when we threw you a birthday party. I'd been a vegetarian for fifty years…I mean I screwed up sometimes, but I liked to think that I had some self-control. And then…" He squeezed my hand. "And then I tried to kill my brother's girlfriend…my little sister, because she got a paper cut." I shook my head, trying to cut him off, but he kept going. "Not only did I tried to kill you, I barely remember doing it. But I remember your face. I remember your emotions…how terrified you were of me. I remember how it nearly killed you when we all left…I remember Alice telling me…that you'd jumped off a cliff." His voice cut off painfully and I tried to defend myself.

"Recreation! It was just for…"

"Right." He rolled his eyes, obviously not believing me. "Bella, when I came back…when you saw me again for the first time…at the airport…" He stared at me for a long moment. "Bella, you were happy to see me. You still had the same emotions toward me that you always did…"

"Of course I did!" I finally cut in. "You're my brother!" He smiled faintly, pulling me close and holding me against his chest, no longer quite so careful in his movements. Like my other family, he wasn't cold anymore…he felt warm to me, his skin softer than before, his embrace comfortable.

"Of course I'm your brother. But…you're a newborn, Bella." He shook his head, staring at me. "And on your first hunting trip, you run into two humans…and you were able to run away."

I threw my arms around him, resting my head against his chest. "Jasper…I don't know how I did it…if it hadn't been for Edward I would have killed them." I murmured. "I don't know why I was able to stop…maybe it's the same freaky thing that keeps Edward out of my mind…I'm sorry." He kissed my forehead and sat down, pulling me to sit beside him on the log behind him.

"Or maybe it's me." He told me quietly. "Maybe I just haven't tried hard enough…I've spent my whole life as a vampire thinking that it was inevitable…that newborns were vicious and bloodthirsty…"

"I actually am still thirsty for blood, and it kind of burns." I made my voice light and teasing. "Hey, if you want, I'll go find one of those hikers again…I'll bring you one too…" He chuckled, shaking his head and holding me to his side.

"It always burns." He told me with a grim smile. "You get used to it, and after a while it isn't painful anymore…unless you're around humans."

"It's not bad. I can forget about it usually…" His eyes widened. "If I get distracted…which is much easier now." He laughed then, his eyes still a little surprised.

"Hm…so if you get distracted…maybe it's part of a gift you have." He suggested. "You can talk to Carlisle about it." He stood then, pulling me to my feet easily, but for once, he didn't have to move to help me keep my balance. I couldn't say I minded the wonderful balance that came with vampirism. "I think they're getting worried." He told me with a smile, his eyes lighter than they had been.

"Before…" I swallowed, looking down when he turned to me. "Did you think I'd hurt Alice?" I asked, allowing my hurt to show. "I'd never hurt her." He softened once more, his arm going around my shoulders.

"I think it's going to take me a little while to get used to this…to you, as a vampire. I always knew newborns as creatures with no control or affection for anyone…I was so worried when we changed you….I thought I'd lose you, even if it was just for a while. And now…you have better control than I do."

"I really doubt it." He smiled faintly, kissing my hair as he led me toward the house, although navigating back to our house was easy, the scents leading me in even if the familiar sights hadn't.

"I'll get used to it." He promised. "I know you wouldn't intentionally hurt Alice…or anyone else for that matter. Just…give me some time to adjust." He requested apologetically. I nodded, and he suddenly broke away, sprinting for the house. He didn't even have to voice the challenge…I passed him easily, leaping over the river and coming to an abrupt halt in front of the house seconds before he did, grinning the whole time.

Carlisle looked up when his two youngest children reentered the house, Bella drifting back to Edward's side, and a much calmer Jasper to Alice's. They hadn't heard Bella's conversation with Jasper, but everything seemed find between them now. He was glad…over the last few months, Jasper and Bella had grown closer than he could have thought possible, and he obviously cared a lot about it. He knew it was difficult for Jasper to see a newborn with such great control…it would be like a smack in the face to him, especially after the incident at Bella's birthday party. He hadn't been surprised when Bella had run after him, but it had only been Alice's arms around Edward that had stopped him from racing after them, worried that Jasper would hurt her.

He looked around the room at his family, gathered around, and briefly at the little dog who lay at Bella's feet, still so happy to have her back. Bella's first hunt had gone well, and although he knew that his daughter would need some time to get used to this new life. She was handling it well so far, but because of the situation with the wolves, they would have to be very careful. "Okay…now that you've hunted, Bella, you'll need to stay here." She frowned in confusion and he smiled. "In the house, or close to it." He clarified. She was worried now, but he knew that Jasper was monitoring her emotions, lest they grow too strong, and she was apparently calm enough. Another anomaly. Usually newborns, especially as young as Bella, would be unable to handle uncertainty or partial information like this. Frustration and irritability were typically hard for them to control. But Bella stood patiently, her hand in Edward's as she waited for him to explain. "Seth, Jacob, and Leah promised to keep an eye on our border, keeping Sam away while you were being changed." He explained. "But I don't want to risk getting too far away from the house, especially if the wolves are watching. The three of them are against Sam's …"

"Wait…Jacob has his own pack?" He lifted an eyebrow at the interruption, and she looked sheepishly down at the floor, making him smile a little. She was certainly exhibiting some signs of newborn behavior, but they seemed mild.

"I'm not entirely sure what happened…I believe he broke away from the pack. But Sam still has a larger group of wolves, and if they attack, I'm not certain the three of them will be enough. We'll have to fight. And you aren't trained."

"So…I just stay in the house?"

"Yes…if we can keep the news that you've been changed from Sam, then we might be able to get out of here without a fight. The funeral will be on Sunday evening, and that night, we're going to have you speak to Charlie…if you still want to. If you don't feel comfortable with that yet, it can wait."

"No…I do. I want to talk to him…but you'll be nearby right?" He nodded gently, taking her hand, knowing that she was probably remembering the scent of the human on the trail.

"Of course we will. We'll be with you the whole time." He promised, and she nodded a little, worry still in her eyes. "How are you feeling?" He asked, this time speaking more softly. "Did you drink enough?" They all knew what it felt like, how painful the burning was at first, and he wanted it to be eased as much as possible. She could always drink from small things around the house if she needed to, and if it came to it, he had a supply of blood in the house for emergencies that he'd purchased from the hospital.

She hesitated, but obviously remembered that he didn't like it when she lied to him. "I'm still thirsty…but it's not bad." She admitted, and he squeezed her hand.

"It's hard to get used to at first. With you, it seems distraction is key." He smiled, leading her over to the sofa to sit beside him, and Esme and Edward joined them. Alice was sitting in the other chair, Jasper at her side, and Rosalie sat on Emmett's lap in the chair. "We've been planning the funeral…" He began, looking over at Bella. "Your father has been…unable to help much." Her eyes widened and she sat up, Edward's hand on her back.

"Is he okay?" She asked, frightened now, and he watched as Edward took her hand, rubbing the back of it with his own.

"He was very upset." Carlisle told his daughter, trying to play it down just a little. He hated how much pain they were causing the man…even if that was going to come to an end soon.

"Oh god…Angela!" Bella was distraught now, her terrified, red eyes on him. "Carlisle, I was on my way to her house!"

"I know." He moved closer to her, taking her other hand and squeezing gently once more as Carlie moved away, leaping onto Jasper's lap and whining. He hated seeing her so upset, hated that his entire family now tensed as though waiting for her to lose control. Except for Jasper…Jasper seemed to be making a concentrated effort to keep still and calm, his emotions bleeding into the room as he stroked the dog's back. "It's okay, Bella, calm down. It's going to be okay."

"No! She'll think it's her fault!" His daughter jumped to her feet, but he was right there, his arm firmly clasping her arm. But she wasn't angry or upset…she was on the verge of crying, her desperate eyes on him. "Carlisle please! We can't just let her think…."

"Esme has already spoken to Angela. She'll be coming to the funeral on Sunday. She has to seem upset Bella, especially if we're going to convince the wolves." He wouldn't risk Sam learning…especially when she was so recently changed. She was strong now, stronger than any of them, but she had no idea how to fight. Sam to tear her apart, and he wouldn't let anything hurt his little girl.

"But we…"

"And then after we speak to Charlie, we'll speak to your friend." He continued as though she hadn't spoken, using a slow, deliberate voice to calm her as much as possible. Bella paused, looking up at him in surprised silence. "Bella, Angela has been a wonderful friend to you. I know you couldn't let her think your death was her fault. Alice has already looked…it'll be fine. We won't tell her everything…we'll just show her that you're alive and make sure she keeps the secret. Okay." Bella nodded, relief in every line of her body, and he pulled her into his arms. "It's okay, Bella. I know it takes getting used to." He remembered his own strong emotions, how they come and gone too quickly to keep up with…how he hadn't even tried to manage them at first. But she seemed to be coping better than any of them, her emotions strong but manageable, and he wondered if it had to do with some gift she may have, or if it was the support system of her family, something none of them had had when being changed.

"What about the wedding?" She asked quietly, and he watched as Edward rubbed her arm with his hand, obviously relishing the change to finally get to hold his mate without holding back, and Carlisle had to admit, it was nice. The smell of blood that had clung to her, that had made her smell so appetizing and that had flooded the house, was now gone, replaced by a sweet, appealing floral scent that was similar in some ways to the rest of their scents, but also completely unique. It made it easier for him to be near her, and he knew that it made a huge difference to the rest of them, especially Edward. It had been the plan that Bella would be changed right after her wedding, as he knew what Edward had planned for the honeymoon. He knew his son longed to be with his mate like the rest of them were able to, and that he had showed incredible restraint, refusing to do so until he knew that she wouldn't be accidently harmed. But now…he couldn't imagine how difficult it was for him. Edward, who, of course, could hear his thoughts, gave a grim smile.

"We've thought about it. It will be impossible to have it here. But once we've moved, we can always have it at the new house. I've already spoken to Charlie, explaining that we have a guesthouse in England, and assured him that he's welcome to come visit any time. Once we've shown him that you're alive, he can join us in England for the wedding…if you wish." She nodding, smiling a little, but he could see the worry in her eyes. "If you're not ready, we can wait."

"I can't make him wait." She whispered the words, her voice barely audible, and he stroked her hair, his movements less restrained than usual knowing that it would much more difficult to injure her now.

"We will be with you the entire time, Bella. If you think it would make it easier, we'll bring him here. Okay?" She nodded a little, calming and sitting back against the sofa, leaning against Edward.

I sat on the bed in my room, looking out at the river and trees, my new enhanced eyesight able to see every single leaf on the trees, every squirrel that leaped through the trees…every ripple in the water as the stream flowed through our yard. I found myself looking around constantly, something I was sure my family noticed but didn't comment on. I looked at the room, at the beautiful bedposts and comforter, at the carved ceiling and the windows and the carpet and the closet doors and the little bits of dust and the fly in the corner and…

"Are you okay?" I jerked in surprise, realizing that I'd been so busy looking around that I hadn't heard Edward come in with my super hearing…something else that took getting used to.

"Yes….fine."

"Some things never change I guess." He mumbled with a chuckle, moving to sit on the bed beside me and touching my face, his hand warm and soft on my skin. "Overwhelmed yet?" I gave a rueful smile, nodding. Sitting in the living room with my entire family, full of scents and sounds…it had been too much after a while, and I'd retreated to the relative peace of my room. My brain could handle so much at once…it was just so chaotic! "I promise that it gets easier." He murmured, moving a strand of hair behind my ears. "You have all the time you need to get used to it."

"I know…thank you." I smiled up at him, resting my head against his shoulder. I'd changed a few minutes ago when coming back up here, abruptly reminded when I'd taken off his jacket that I was practically naked in the ripped dress. It didn't bother me…I wasn't cold or uncomfortable. But for the sake of modesty, plus the fact that I would need to keep up appearances like the rest of my family, I changed into a more appropriate outfit for a night that would, hopefully, not include a cocktail party; jeans and a t-shirt. His arms moved around me, his lips on my hair, and then my cheek, then my neck, not hesitating as he reached my throat. I gave a tiny gasp, turning toward him and putting my hands in his hair.

"Do we have to wait until the wedding?" I murmured, moving closer, and he sighed, resting his forehead against mine.

"I still have a whole honeymoon planned." He mumbled, framing my face in his hands. "Plus, everyone is downstairs." I sighed, letting my head rest on his shoulder. I didn't want everyone to hear…the first time…I was glad I couldn't blush anymore. I wondered if I would ever get to the point of Emmett and Rosalie who I'd walked in on more than once…it wasn't exactly my fault when they didn't shut the door….even a little.

"Fine. We wait." I grumbled, and he chuckled softly, kissing my mouth now, and I forgot my complaint. "I love you." I told him quietly, against his mouth as I shifted beside him. I wasn't cold anymore…I could get as close to him as I wanted without being cold or uncomfortable, and I intended to take advantage of that.

"I love you so much. You are everything to me." He looked at me for a long moment, stroking my face. "I thought…I thought I'd lost you." He admitted. "When I got to your truck…when I saw you in Carlisle's arms…I couldn't tell if you were breathing. I didn't' know if he'd gotten to you in time." He bit his lip, then kissed me fiercely for a moment. "Alice's vision…you died, Bella. You didn't make it. I was picking out stupid clothes…"

"Edward no, this wasn't…."

"I was goofing off with Emmett and Jasper and you were dying!" He clenched his jaw.

"Her vision was wrong." I held his face in my hands, kissing him quickly. "I'm fine! Edward, look at me." I urged him, and he finally opened his eyes, looking down at me. "It's fine. I'm perfectly fine…Carlisle got to me in time." He nodded a little, forcing a small smile and then kissing me, holding me closer. "We're going to have the wedding soon, and then the honeymoon…whatever that entails…" He chuckled at the leading statement, refusing to answer. "And then…well we've got all the time in the world to figure out what we'll do after that." He smiled gently, kissing me once more, and this time, he didn't pull away.

Jacob crouched in the bushes, his nose in the air as he sniffed the scents of the vampires…including the family's newest member. He was torn between wanting to see her and wanting to stay away like he knew Edward would want. He and Seth and Leah had patrolled the border while Edward had taken her hunting, making sure to keep Sam away, and they'd been joined by Emmett, who'd struck up a kind of friendship with Seth and a tentative one with Leah, and Rosalie, who'd done the same. They helped them keep an eye out, watching for any unfriendly wolves while covering Edward and Bella's trail.

Sam had been the one to cause Bella's wreck. He'd seen it in the wolf's mind as they'd been out, patrolling. He'd leapt in front of her truck, hoping to kill her rather than let her be changed. But before he could finish her off, Jacob had attacked, somehow breaking away from his control and doing as much damage as he could, leading to a standoff that had ended when Carlisle had raced to her side. Jacob had chased Sam away then, hoping to kill him, but had been thwarted when several other members of the pack had prevented it. "He just killed a human!" He'd screamed as he'd transformed. "Can't you see?! He killed Bella!" All the while he'd hoped desperately that the blonde leader had gotten to her in time, that he'd been able to save her. But there was no need for Sam to know that.

"Better dead than one of them." Jacob had flinched at Paul's cruel statement, so similar to what he'd said to Bella that day in a fit of anger. Come to think of it, he'd done a lot of terrible things to Bella because of his anger, or his grief….or fear.

'No more.' He vowed as he crouched outside the border to their property with his new pack, the two who'd insisted on coming with him. 'I won't hurt her again…I'll protect her. I'll make sure Sam can't hurt her.' If it came to war between the two packs, he knew that he'd lose. There were only three of them, although he had felt the uncertainty emanating from Quill and Embry when he'd told them what Sam had done. Still, they hadn't joined him in his quest to protect the family of vampires….. 'I must be losing my mind.' He thought with a sigh, lying down on the ground with a huff. Leah, a few feet away from him, rolled her eyes and kept looking around, glancing up when footsteps approached.

"Laying down on the job?" He barked a quiet laugh, showing his teeth playfully at the large vampire who was accompanied by the leader and his mate. Leah, wary of all of the vampires, watched them from the corner of her eye, her posture stiffening. "You guys okay out here?" He asked playfully, but his eyes were serious, and Jacob nodded, although he was starving. Going back home wasn't really an option at the moment. "Oh sorry….guys and girls." Leah lifted an eyebrow at Emmett, somehow arranging her features into an exasperated grimace.

The leader's mate…Esme stepped forward, her eyes soft. "We truly appreciate what you're doing for us, Jacob." He sat up, regarding her calmly as she spoke, nodding to acknowledge her thanks. "If you need anything, please come to the house and ask. We have plenty of food, and more clothes than we know what to do with." A real meal sounded wonderful right now, and he glanced at Leah, who, more than any of them, hated eating in her wolf form.

'Hungry?' He asked her silently. She flattened her ears, turning her back on them, and he huffed, then bared his teeth. 'Stop being proud, Leah. They're nice people, and they're offering us food.'

'I don't need their charity.'

'We're kind of homeless at the moment, so yes, we do.' Before she could respond, he heard Seth's intentions and tried not to give anything as the smaller wolf leapt from the bushes, nearly tackling Emmett who moved neatly out of the way, nearly sending the dog into a tree while Carlisle and Esme laughed. It was Seth's personal goal to catch either Emmett or Jasper off guard, and so far, he'd failed every time. Jumping back to his feet, he crouched playfully and barked, showing his teeth as he growled at Emmett. Emmett chuckled, crouching and showing his own teeth, and the two went at it, snarling and growling playfully as Emmett evaded the wolf's teeth, making sure not to hurt him. Finally, when Carlisle cleared his throat, Emmett wrapped it up, pinning the dog with his teeth at his throat, and Seth sighed, relaxing and waiting for Emmett to climb off of him.

Leah rolled her eyes at their antics, and Seth ran over to her, nudging her playfully and evading her sharp teeth. He disappeared into the bushes for a moment, then reentered the clearing, dressed in a pair of jean shorts. "Aw c'mon Leah!" He cried, tugging on her tail, and she whirled, her eyes furious, then stood, bolting. "Sorry about her." He mumbled, grinned at Esme in greeting. "You said you had food." Jacob snorted when Esme's eyes softened.

"Of course. And clothes, showers…a place to sleep if you need it." Carlisle glanced over at Jacob and the he sighed, disappearing into the bushes, pulling on a pair of pants, and emerging with a sheepish grin.

"Thanks." Carlisle nodded, gesturing for him to follow.

"Should I go get Leah?" Emmett wondered with a grin, and Esme smacked him.

"She'll come around when she gets hungry enough." Jacob said with a shrug, missing the concerned look that Esme and Carlisle exchanged.


	43. Chapter 43

Seth and Jacob followed Carlisle, Esme, and Emmett into the house, unaware of their near silent conversation. "Can't believe he hasn't asked to see Bella." Emmett murmured as they closed the front door. The living room was deserted, and he wondered where Jasper and Alice had run of to.

"They're upstairs…I don't believe Edward wants her near Jacob."

"Don't know why it matters now." Emmett answered his father with a careless shrug, gesturing for the younger boys to go into the kitchen where Esme followed, going to the freezer and pulling out the ingredients for fried chicken, something that had been a favorite of Bella's.

"These children are homeless because of us." She told them in a near silent voice. "Do you think Leah will be okay?" Jacob seemed to be looking around a little nervously and Emmett wondered what he was looking for.

"He said she'd come if she gets hungry." This time his voice was a little less careless. "I just hope her pride won't keep her away." Emmett could tell this was what his mother was worried about. She hated to see children hungry or without a place to stay, and his father was the same way. It only made it worse that it was because of their family that the children were in this situation.

The last time Jacob Black had been in this house, he'd been drug out by himself and Jasper. But now, he was protecting Bella, keeping her and the rest o them safe from Sam. Emmett had to admit, he still didn't care much for that particular werewolf. He'd attacked his sister, making her remember her terrible past and causing the nightmares and pain…the panic attacks that followed….still, he appreciated the guy's help. And Seth he liked. "There are two bathrooms down here, one at the end of that hallway." He pointed, gesturing for them to follow him, "and another behind that door. If you guys wanna get cleaned up, I'll find you some clothes."

Jacob seemed more embarrassed than anything, and he was obviously remembering the night when he and Jasper had threatened him. But Seth grinned at him appreciatively, thanking him. He rubbed the boy's head, heading upstairs to find some clothes while they waited in the living room.

He found some clothes that would fit them in Jasper's room, since his brother was closer to their size than he was, and he threw the first pile at Seth, waving away his thanks, then handed the other pile to Jacob. "Thank you." He mumbled, staring at the ground, and Emmett nodded as the smell of oil filled the air. "Um….is she okay?"  
"Yeah. She's doing fine…she's got all of us to help her."

"Her brothers." Jacob repeated Jasper's words from that night…the first night she'd come to stay with them, with a wry smile, and Emmett grinned.

"Yep. That's us." Emmett turned to go, to head back into the kitchen.

"Emmett?" He paused, turning and watching the younger man as he deliberated for a second, his face conflicted. Finally he spoke, his voice a whisper. "It was Sam…he tried to kill her."

"In local news, the daughter of police chief Charlie Swan, Isabella Swan, is assumed dead after her truck was found by the chief of police. It is assumed that she was hit by another vehicle and rolled down the hill into the river. The interior of the truck was consumed in the resulting fire, and we can only guess that her body was destroyed as well. No body was found however, but after searching the river and surrounding area for three days, the search was called off. Eighteen year old Isabella was engaged to Edward Cullen, and was living with the family, none of whom have been available for comment. Isabella was one of the students injured in the school shooting earlier this year, and was rescued by Edward's brother Emmett. It is believed that Isabella was alone at the time of the accident. Funeral services will be held on Sunday."

Jasper pulled the remote out of my hand and switched off the TV, probably in response to my emotions, then moved over to my side, putting an arm around me. My guilt as a human was nothing compared to now…how could I have done this to my father? He was probably devastated. No…there was no probably. "What if he hates me?" I whispered, my words almost a sob. "What if he's mad at me….for lying all this time? What if he doesn't want anything to do with me, Jasper?"

My brother squeezed me, holding me against his side on the sofa as I fought back a sob. Crying as a vampire was a strange sensation…we couldn't produce tears, apparently. But we could sob…we could feel the same pain in our throats and in our chests. All of the emotional sensations were there…just no tears or runny noses. "Bella, he will be so happy to see you…so happy that you're alive. He won't care what you are." I sobbed softly, putting my face in my hands, and he turned, holding me more tightly. "He misses you so much."

I'd been a vampire for less than 24 hours…all night I'd spent with Edward in our room, letting him old me, kiss me…enjoyed the sensation of really being with him, a sensation so different than when I'd been human. But, as decided before, we were going to wait for our honeymoon. It was what he wanted, and to be honest, having sex for the first time with my super hearing mother and father…not to mention my brothers and sisters, downstairs, was not my idea of a good time. It was something I would get used to eventually…but not for the first time. Still, it had been a good night. At some point, I'd smelled a strange, unpleasant scent, but hadn't questioned it, just in case it was the wolves. I'd heard their voices then, Jacob and Seth…and continued to ignore them. I didn't want to see them…not yet. I wasn't quite ready for that...not ready to face the boy who'd caused me so many conflicted emotions. I feared my own reaction to him...so I hid in my bedroom.

Around six a.m., long after they'd left, I'd left the bed, changing into another outfit in the bathroom and heading downstairs where I'd found an indignant Carlie. She'd been with Jasper most of the night, in his study with Alice, and she apparently missed me, so I'd pulled her into my arms and switched on the TV while Edward spoke to Carlisle. They were both going to visit Charlie that morning, something else I didn't want to think about. So I focused on the news, trying to find out what I'd missed. Apparently, I'd missed quite a bit…including the uproar over my own death.

Carlisle came down the stairs, Edward on his heels, and my father put a hand on my shoulders. "Are you okay?"

"You're going to see Charlie now?" He nodded, taking my hand, and I reminded myself that I couldn't go yet…I had to wait until after the funeral. He pulled my into his arms then, kissing my hair.

"You don't have to wait much longer." He reminded me, stroking my hair as I rested my head against his shoulder. "You can see him after the funeral. He's going to be so happy to see you…don't worry." I nodded, trying to smile, but he saw through me. "Are you okay? Are you thirsty?"

"It's fine." He lifted an eyebrow and I smiled, a little more genuinely this time at his exasperated expression. "It's not bad." I corrected myself.

"If you start to get thirsty, tell Jasper. Don't go out on your own, okay? You have to stay inside and out of sight, just in case." I nodded, and he looked over at Jasper. I was reminded of all the times they would have conversations behind me…but I could hear as well as they could now, so he spoke loudly enough for everyone to hear. "Look after her, Jasper." Edward, who was going as well this time, reached out his arms for me, kissing me for a long time, and I forgot about the other people in the room for a minute until he pulled away with a smile, gesturing over to Jasper who was pretending to ignore us, and to Carlisle who was doing his best to stare at the TV patiently as he waited for us to finish.

"I love you." Edward told me softly, kissing me once more, this time quickly. "Stay inside, please, and be careful." I wanted to ask how I could possible injure myself now, as a vampire, inside the house, but I didn't. I was sure he could come up with something. Instead, I kissed him once more before they left, then dropped back onto the sofa with Carlie and Jasper, taking the remote and turning on the TV once more, flipping to the national news to see if anything big was happening.

"The little girl, Sara Miles, eleven, told reporters that the men claimed to be friend's of Jeremy's, and…" Jasper tried to snatch the remote from me, but I moved it out of his reach, staring wide eyed at the TV...at the familiar image in the bottom corner. "asked her to go to her bedroom so that they could speak with him. She said they, quote, came and got her after a while, and told her to go stay with her neighbors. They did not harm either her or her sister, nor was anything stolen. But when neighbors came to investigate, they found Jeremy Johnson dead in his living room, his neck broken. Jeremy Johnson was one of two men found dead in their homes last week under mysterious circumstances. We're going to the scene where Mark…" I let Jasper take the remote this time, turning off the TV and dropping it onto the table without a word.

I could smell Emmett. Each member of my family had a distinct scent, although they were all similar in a way. My ears told me that Emmett was in the doorway, while Jasper watched me with apprehension. 'What do they think I'm going to do? Attack them?' I wondered absently as my mind tried to process his. 'But when did they have time to run off and commit murder? Then again, there had been plenty of opportunities last week…they hadn't left me during my change, I knew that. But I'd been at Angela's for a while.

"Do Esme and Carlisle know?" I asked, the warm weight of Carlie pressing into my legs and she slept.

"No…"

"How did you know who they were?" How did I sound so calm? So unaffected? It didn't seem possible…but my entire body had gone still. Maybe it was a vampire thing.

"Edward got their names from Renee when she came over…and their old addresses. Esme and Carlisle are the only ones who don't know." I nodded. That was probably best. Emmett moved into the room, sitting on my other side and putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Did Jeremy still live in Phoenix?" I asked, my voice shaking slightly.

"No…he moved to California right after you came to Forks." I nodded, the human memories blurry but still terrifying. Jasper's voice was hesitant. "Did you ever see him again…after he left your mother?"

"I can't remember." I whispered the words. "I knew he was there…I knew where he lived." Emmett pulled me closer, his arm around me. "There were two little girls?"

"Yes." Jasper spoke reluctantly, and that told me everything I needed to know. Either he'd hurt them, or my brothers didn't know if he had or not. Either way, I didn't want to think about it. Those monsters were dead now. Whatever my brothers had done, I knew they'd deserved it. I couldn't find it in me to be angry or upset with them. Did that make me a monster?

"Thank you." Emmett kissed the top of my head as Jasper took my hand.

"Anytime. If you want to give us some more names…" I grinned, knowing that they weren't kidding. If I gave them the names of every lowlife my mother had dated, I knew that my brothers would hunt down every last one of them.

Edward sat stiffly in the car, looking out the window into Charlie's front yard as he father sat beside him, his gentle eyes on him. 'She's alive, Edward.' He needed to be reminded….when he wasn't with her, when he wasn't touching her, he sometimes forgot. He could sometimes only remember how she'd gone still in Alice's vision, blood spilling from her mouth, her body crushed beyond repair. Or he would see her in Carlisle's arms, his father's thoughts frantic as he tried to get her back to the house. He'd thought she was dead…he'd tried to brace himself. "Edward." His father's hand was on his shoulder and he tried to smile, turning to his father with a slight sigh.

"It's pathetic. I can barely stand being without her." Carlisle smiled a little, squeezing his shoulder.

"No, it's perfectly normal. We almost lost her. And now we have to go inside this house, comfort her distraught father, and make her funeral plans. I know this is painful for you. If it's too much, I'll make excuses for you. I'll tell Charlie that you can't leave the house, that you're too upset. There's no shame in it." Edward shook his head. Bella couldn't be with her father…she wanted to comfort him so badly but she couldn't. So he would.

Bella was going to be upset when she finally saw her father, Edward thought sadly as they entered the house. The smell of alcohol was thick in the air, and he'd passed out at the table among several empty beer cans. He hadn't been to work in days, and Edward worried that the man was self destructing. He shook his head, grabbing the beer cans and tossing them into the trash. "This would kill Bella." He told his father softly, grabbing the man's shoulder and shaking him gently, pausing when he groaned.

Carlisle sat a glass of water on the table, gently rousing the man, and greeting him with two little white pills that Edward assumed were fort he headache the man was sure to have. His face was unshaven, his eyes bloodshot, and Edward looked sadly at the ground. He had his own façade to keep up. "Charlie? You must stop sleeping at the table…and drinking so much for that matter. You ought to know better." His father ignored Charlie's glare, sitting at the table across from him. "It would kill her, Charlie. You know she wouldn't want you to do this to yourself." Charlie closed his eyes painfully, shaking his head.

"What are you doing here, Carlisle?"

"Making sure you survive until the funeral." His father's harsh words were softened by his gentle tone.

"My little girl's dead, Carlisle. What do I care if I survive until the funeral?"

"How do you think that would make her feel?" Carlisle still spoke gently, but there was a sadness in his eyes, and Edward knew that he wished they didn't have to do this…keep this from him.

"What does that matter?" Edward felt a rush of fury, and forced himself to remember that the many truly thought Bella was dead…that he didn't know the girl was at the Cullen home, desperately hoping that he was okay, counting the days until she could see him again. "And what are you doing here, Edward?" There was almost an accusation in his voice, and Edward winced. In his mind were all the days Bella had spent alone after he'd left, the images difficult to see, but there nonetheless.

"We've been planning her funeral." Edward spoke quietly, and with some difficulty. He needed this sorrow…this pain. So he tried to imagine that she was truly dead. That the rest of his existence stretched in front of him with no Bella. "They never found her…but we're still going to have…"

"Don't you think I know that!" Charlie exploded, reaching out and grabbing a bottle Edward had missed, and Edward moved out of the way, flinching when the bottle shattered against the floor. "Don't you think I know they never found her f*cking body!? That she burned to death in that truck! And you come here, asking me about her f*cking funeral!? Where were you!? Why weren't you with her!" Edward closed his eyes, the words hitting him hard as he clenched his jaw, stepping back.

"Charlie, you don't mean…" Carlisle tried to speak, but Charlie was staring at Edward with a hatred that could only be fueled by grief.

"You killed my daughter. If it hadn't been for you, she'd be alive." Edward couldn't bear it anymore. He whirled, making his movements slow enough for Charlie to find believable, then, once he was out of the house, he raced home, keeping to the woods. He was glad his father didn't follow. He didn't care what excuses Carlisle made, what he said to Charlie. He needed Bella. Now.

He couldn't move fast enough, but he was finally in the living room. Bella was sitting between his brothers, a movie playing and the little dog in her arms. But when she saw him, she gently gave the dog to Emmett, who moved his hand out of the way just before Carlie could close her teeth around his hand. Jasper looked almost as worried as Bella as the girl raced over to him, and he pulled her into his arms, hiding his face in her neck with a quiet sob. "Edward?! Edward what's wrong? What happened?" She pleaded, one hand stroking his back and the other in his hair. "Edward? Are you okay? Are you hurt?" She tried again, but he didn't care about the words. She was alive. He hadn't killed her. He felt like he had had a terrible nightmare and he was just trying to escape.

He felt Jasper's hand on his shoulder then, and he was slowly infused with calm, his pain easing. "Whoa, Edward. What happened?" His brother asked, and he could hear Emmett's worried thoughts as well. He shook his head, not wanting to explain it to his brothers, and Bella grabbed his hand, tugging him until he followed up the stairs, ignoring the stares of his brothers.

"Edward?" She sat on the bed, pulling him to sit beside her. "Is everyone okay? Is someone hurt? Charlie? Or Carlisle?"

"No one's hurt, love." He murmured, resting his forehead against hers and breathing her in, hating that he was worrying her, but not wanting to tell her about her father…about the state he was in, or about how he'd screamed at him, blaming him for his daughter's death. 'It could have been true.' His brain insisted on telling him. 'He could so easily have been right. It would have been my fault…how could I have left her?' She was looking at him, her confusion and worry plain on her face, but she didn't ask anything else, just put her arms around him, trying to comfort him, and he reminded himself over and over that she was alive, that he was being ridiculous. A second later, Carlie had jumped up on the bed, wriggling her way in between them, and he gave a reluctant laugh when she licked his face, her tail thumping against his stomach.

"I love you." She whispered, her lips pressing against his cheek briefly.

"Oh, Bella." He murmured, holding her closely, kissing her forehead. "You are everything to me….you are my life. I don't…I couldn't live without you." He shook his head, distraught once more at the thought, and she touched his face.

"You don't have to." She reminded him softly, and he forced a small smile. "Did my father say something?" The truth must have passed over his face because hers crumpled. "I'm so sorry…he's just upset but it's no excuse. He likes you!" He nodded, comforting her now.

"I know, love. I understand."

"I'm sorry he hurt you. Please don't go back…not if he's going to be mean to you." He smiled a little at her thoughtfulness, laying back on the bed and pulling her with him, allowing the dog to follow, her breath coming out in a huff as she, once again, tried to get comfortable beside them.

"I think I'll wait until the funeral…I don't want to go. I don't want to pretend that you're dead. I can't stand it."

"Don't go." She whispered, her warm hand against his cheek.

"It would be a bit strange if your fiancé didn't attend the funeral." He reminded her softly. "And the wolves are watching. Sam still has a larger pack than Jacob. If he attacks, there is a chance you could be harmed…or one of us. We don't want to risk a fight."

She sighed, closing her eyes. "I'll be glad when we've left this place…and the wolves behind. There aren't any werewolves or anything near our new house, are there?"

"Or anything?" He asked in amusement.

"I don't know. Zombies. Dragons…."

"Zombies, dragons, no. But there are a few unicorns nearby…" Her eyes widened comically and he couldn't hold his straight face, throwing his head back and laughing and then wincing a little when she smacked him.

"No, these are the only pack of shape-shifters around." At her questioning look, he shifted so that he lay beside her, idly moving some hair from her face, glad for this distraction. "The Quileute children are not actually werewolves. Werewolves transform at a full moon, and their condition is spread through a bite, like ours. They are the true enemies of werewolves. The Quileutes are shape-shifters. They just happen to transform into wolves."

"Have you met any other shape-shifters."

"I haven't. I think Carlisle has. Werewolves are more dangers, though. When they transform, they don't retain their personality or logical brain. They seek only to hunt. Most of them have been eliminated by the Volturi…but they are still a threat to us."

"There aren't any in England…." She spoke hopefully, her eyes frightened, and he smiled, feeling as though he were telling a ghost story.

"Don't worry, love. I'll protect you." She smiled, resting her head on the bed beside him, and he pulled her closer, kissing her briefly, then closing his eyes and taking in her scent, her presence….reminding himself again and again that Charlie was wrong…that she was fine.

Carlisle swept the glass up calmly, keeping an iron hold on his temper. He'd encouraged his son to come with him, hoping that Charlie would take some comfort in his presence. After all, Charlie had grown fond enough of Edward…and he seemed to appreciate his son. But the look on his son's face flashed before him once more and he had to remind himself that breaking the man's broom would be a bad idea. Hung over as he was, the man was sure to notice.

"I didn't…"

"Do….not." He cut the man off, not sure if he was going to apologize or justify his actions. He didn't really care, regardless. "I brought Edward here in the hopes that you could be some comfort to one another. You have no idea how much my son is suffering. I have been incredibly patient with you, Charlie Swan, because you were Bella's father, and because she loved you very much. I understand that you are suffering, but I'll not sit by and let you hurt my son even more. His fiancée is dead and it is killing him." That would all be true, he told himself. It would have destroyed his son if Bella had truly been dead. It was bad enough that they had to stage a funeral. He saw the look in Edward's eyes whenever he was away from Bella. It would take a while before he was okay with being away from her…before he'd convinced himself that she was okay, especially after seeing her die in Alice's visions.

"Carlisle, I didn't…" The man shook his head, cutting off and putting his head in his hands.

"I'll see you on Sunday, Charlie. Try not to drink yourself to death before then." He let the door slam on his way out, feeling only a little guilty. He wasn't sure if he was going back the next day…he wouldn't let the man come to any harm, for Bella's sake, but he also wouldn't let his son be tortured.

When he reached the house, he found Emmett and Jasper halfheartedly going at it in a video game, a sight so normal that it made him smile. "Where are the girls?" He wondered as they paused their game, looking up at him. He'd passed Seth on his way in, and assumed the other wolves were nearby as well. He now considered them a part of his family in a way, and tried to keep tabs on them. Earlier, that night, the two boys had accepted their offer of food, which was a relief to Carlisle, but he hadn't seen Leah since she'd run off, and he worried that she was going hungry. Rosalie was sort of close to her, so he hoped his daughter could have some success in luring her inside.

"Alice went hunting. Rose is in the library." Emmett answered, and Carlisle frowned a little in worry. Alice could take care of herself, but she couldn't see the wolves.

"She said she was going to meet up with Leah…she hates not being able to see around them, but she's worried about her." Carlisle nodded.

"Edward?"

"Bella took him upstairs…what happened?" Jasper asked, obviously worried.

"Charlie saw fit to take his grief out on Edward…" Jasper nodded as though he'd expected as much, but Emmett growled softly.

"He's lucky Bella wants him around." His large son grumbled and Carlisle had to smile a little.

"Is he okay?" He asked Jasper who answered in the affirmative.

"He and Bella are both fine. They're upstairs with Carlie…he was pretty upset though."

Carlisle sat on the sofa beside his sons, shaking his head. "He didn't mean it, but that's no excuse." He was more than ready to get out of Forks. Even though he knew Charlie would be in a much better mood after Bella spoke to him, and would probably apologize to Edward, Carlisle couldn't help but think that this town had been a terrible place for his family for the last few months, from the school to the people to the wolves…and Sam…he missed the times when his family was happy and, most of all, safe.

Emmett had come to him earlier that day when he was helping Esme cook for the boys, his face grim, and Carlisle had stopped what he was doing, asking his son if everything was okay. "Sam tried to kill Bella…he ran out in front of her truck…if you hadn't gotten to her…if Jacob hadn't stopped him, he would have finished her off." That news, which they'd been careful not to think about around Edward, was still weighing on his mind. Sam had hurt a human, a violation of the treaty. Of course, that didn't give him the right to change Bella…the only way he could really have retribution was to attack…the whole town if he wished, not that he would ever drag innocents into this, even if that's what Sam had done.

He wouldn't risk it. Not with Bella so young and untrained and the move so close. He wanted to get his family, safe and whole, out of Forks. Charlie too, if he wished. He didn't want any more fighting or wars…he just wanted his family to be okay. He wanted to help Bella adjust to her new life, and help his son heal from his terrible fears. Carlisle wanted to be done with all the fighting. 'We just have to get through Sunday…then we can all be done with this place.'


	44. Chapter 44

By the end of my first full day as a newborn, I'd learned that the burning in my throat tended to lessen when I kept myself busy. So that's what I did. We were moving on Sunday, as soon as the funeral was over, and I wasn't sure if I was looking forward to leaving or not. On one hand, I would get to go outside again, which was much more fun now that I was a vampire. I wanted to learned to fight with my brothers, which was forbidden in the house, and try my hand at climbing trees and racing with Edward. Still, Carlisle had been pretty firm, and I didn't want to go against his orders, so I sat in the house for my of the first day, either trying to distract Edward or reading. I found that I was able to remember more now, and that Carlisle's medical texts that he'd let me borrow were much easier to memorize. So I spent some time in his studying, reading in the dark…most because I was amazed that I could now.

Because we were moving, we would have to pack. Although the Cullens weren't going to sell this house, and they would keep some of the furniture covered in sheets in the house, there was plenty to pack. The home security system would keep anyone from vandalizing the house, and hurricane proof metal shutters would keep people from breaking in through the windows. Esme encouraged us to bring whatever we wanted, as lifting boxes was hardly a problem, and they would have our things sent over a few days before we left.

Edward had showed me a few pictures of the new house. It was much different than this one, older and without all the huge windows, something Edward assured me, Esme would fix soon. I intended to help her…I'd never studied architecture, and while I enjoyed studying medicine with Carlisle, this would be a great way to spend time with Esme. She'd shown me a few of the blueprints, and on and off I tried to make sense of them. But while I was good at focusing on several things at once, I was finding it difficult to focus on one thing for a long time, especially when my throat was still on fire.

Edward brought down some suitcases and boxes from their attic, but Alice was going to donate all of the clothes that we weren't particularly attached to so that she could go shopping in London…and maybe Italy again, although I wasn't crazy about going back there. Edward assured me that it would be okay, especially now that I was a vampire, as the Volturi would have no reason to come down on us. Carlisle told me that he wanted to take me to the city and visit with Aro. That way, they would know that I was no longer a threat, and Carlisle would keep up the friendship, if one could call it that. I knew that he felt some resentment for his old acquaintance, especially after they threatened to kill me. But, as he'd explained, the Volturi were powerful allies, and having them on our side could only work in our favor.

I kept only a couple of pairs of jeans, a few shirts, and a dress I'd bought on one of my first shopping trip with Alice. I still didn't care about fashion, but Edward liked it, and I had to admit that it felt nice to wear something he thought was pretty. Shoes went into another donation box, and on Thursday night, we had several boxes full of nearly unused clothes, shoes, and other things, like purses, video games, and excess books. Since I was still forbidden from leaving the house, everyone except Jasper and Esme piled into their various vehicles with the boxes and began taking them to various shelters around the area. Esme had transferred many of her plants into small pots and was taking them to shops or to acquaintances, people who would appreciate them. She'd picked as many fruits and vegetables as she could, and was going to take those to a local shelter as well.

While my entire family, minus Jasper, headed out to dispose of their excess belongings, I dropped onto the sofa next to Jasper, who stayed with me mostly because he could monitor and, if necessary, control, my emotions. He grinned at my irritation, but didn't ask. "How is it that, even after becoming a vampire, I still get babysat?" He laughed aloud, ruffling my hair and jumping to his feel, followed by Carlie. I felt a flare of resentment. Wasn't she supposed to be my dog? His amusement softened then, and he pulled me to my feet as I reminded myself that I was just irritable because I was worried…and frustrated with hiding.

"C'mon." He prompted with a smile, leading me to the stairs. "You've still got other things to pack. We need to get some of the computers put away and ready to go, and you have books and more clothes to pack." Carlie followed me into my room, as did Jasper, and he placed several open suitcases and boxes on the floor while I stripped the bed, folding the blankets and sheets. He moved over to my bookcase, and between the two of us, we finished in record time, moving on to his room, Carlie following us around the house and trying to entice us to play with her.

We spent most of Friday morning packing up as much as we could while the rest of the family drove around town, finishing up funeral arrangements as well as donating their belongings, and I was in the library upstairs when I could no longer ignore the burning in my throat. Even Carlie was starting to smell appetizing. Jasper must have felt my sudden burning thirst because he grimaced, turning to me with a stern, but understanding, frown from where he was kneeling, carefully placing their computers in the cases and dealing with the cords. "You should have told me it was getting that bad." He scolded, his voice not unkind, as he stood fluidly, moving over to my side.

"I can't leave the house." I said with a shrug, wincing as Carlie came to my side, dancing around on her back paws and sitting at my feet. We'd been teaching her not to jump up on us, mostly because it was bad manners for a dog, and if she were to encounter children, she might accidently hurt them. "Good girl." I told him as kindly as I could, trying not to think about the blood that ran through her veins, unappetizing, but still…it would feel so good on my throat.

"I'm not making you suffer through it until Sunday. It only gets worse." He scolded me, taking my arm and leading me downstairs. "Stay here." He told me once we were in the kitchen.

"Wait! What if the wolves go after you?" He chuckled.

"Bella, I'm fully capable of taking care of myself. And Jacob's pack should be around. Don't worry." He smiled reassuringly, ruffling my hair. "Are you okay with Carlie?" I nodded, and as soon as he was gone, I held my breath, standing stock still in the kitchen and trying to focus on the sounds, and sights, counting the dust molecules and listening to the birds outside the door.

'Why did I have to stay in the kitchen?' I wondered as the little dog danced around me. "Carlie, lay down." I ordered, using my firm, dog commanding voice. She immediately lay at my feet, and I crouched to pet her, but told her to stay. I may as well work on her training while I was waiting. I listened carefully to the surrounding area, trying to track Jasper's movements. If he was attacked, I didn't care what he said; I would go help him. I wasn't a fragile human anymore...I could protect my family if I had to. I heard him move back toward the house, hesitate, and then go in through the garage door.

"Come here." He called, and after commanding her to stay once more, I stepped out into the garage, surprised to find my brother with a large deer at his feet, the neck neatly broken. Not even stopping to thank him, I knelt and drank gratefully, ignoring the taste as my throat was soothed for a moment. "Better?" He asked once the animal was drained, and I nodded, wiping my mouth and standing once more. The burning in my throat was reduced to a dull, easily forgotten ache, and I felt the warmth of the blood as it spread throughout my body.

"Thank you." He shrugged, smiling.

"Newborns have to feed more often…it won't last too long. Then you'll get used to it." He assured me, and I hoped he was right.

We returned to the kitchen, once Jasper had disposed of the animal, where I praised the dog still on the floor profusely, then carried her upstairs, lavishing attention on her while Jasper continued working on the computers, rolling his eyes at me. "You could help." He suggested a little half-heartedly after a while, and I put Carlie down, kneeling beside him and listening as he explained which cords went to which computer. He then tried to explain something about hard drives and some other kind of drive to me, but I wasn't interested enough for him to catch my attention, and he gave up, setting me to work packing up books.

By the time everyone got back, we'd finished up the library and our bedrooms, leaving Emmett and Rosalie's for obvious reasons. I didn't even want to know what kind of stuff we'd find were we to attempt it. Carlisle and Esme had already finished their own room, and all that remained were the pieces of furniture. All important documents, like our passports and licenses, were taken care of by Jasper, who told me that he had multiple 'sources' who made them for him but that, in a pinch, he could do it himself.

When everyone returned, we finished up packing, leaving only the largest pieces of furniture, and those we covered with sheets, except for the beds and the sofa, which we were still using. Emmett told me that they would donate the TV too, after we left, and I wondered if our new living room would look the same…if we would all spend the nights together in England, watching TV and playing video games…I knew I was being silly, but moving had never been much of a positive experience for me until I'd moved in with the Cullens, and it would be something I'd have to get used to.

"How are you feeling?" Edward asked from my side, his arm around me, and I realized he must have heard in Jasper's mind what had happened.

"I'm fine." I told him. We were sitting in the living room with the rest of the family, watching as Emmett and Rosalie competed in a first person shooter. Alice had her little computer in her lap and was doing something…Edward had told me that he didn't know what…maybe corresponding with the Denali coven. I wondered if I'd get a chance to meet them at some point. Carlisle had told me that they were like family, and that they sometimes lived together, but with so many of them in one place, they tended to attract attention, so they visited each other instead. It was strange to think that I had more family now than I even knew, and wondered if I'd ever meet more of Carlisle's friends and acquaintances he'd met through the years.

Esme moved into the kitchen after a while, and began to cook. I took that as a cue to head upstairs, still avoiding Jacob, and Edward followed in concern. "We don't have to invite them here if it makes you uncomfortable." I shook my head. It wasn't that…I didn't know if I could explain it. How was I supposed to face Jacob, who'd told me once that he'd rather see me dead than as a vampire…who'd hurt me so many times, but who'd helped me when I'd needed him the most. But they were helping us now…I briefly wished that I could show him my thoughts. It would make it so much easier to explain.

"That would be rude. They're helping us." He nodded, sitting with me on the bed where a pile of medical texts sat. Since we wouldn't be doing anything else on the bed for a few days, I pulled out one of the books, sitting back against the headboard, and he sat beside me, going through the text with me.

Jacob and Seth sat at the kitchen table while Esme cooked, Carlisle at her side. Jasper, who was much less forgiving than Emmett, even if he appreciated their help, avoided Jacob, nodding to him briefly, then to Seth, before rejoining Alice in the living room, and Carlisle wondered absently what she was doing. "We haven't heard anything from Sam." Jacob informed them softly, thanking Carlisle when he placed two sodas in front of them. "Hopefully he thinks she's dead." Esme turned from the stove, regarding them seriously.

"Do you really think so?" Seth glanced warily over at Jacob who shook his head.

"No…he would need to see it to believe it. He was determined to kill her." He kept his voice down, glad that Edward hadn't seemed to hear this. But he knew it was only a matter of time until the telepathic vampire tuned into his thoughts….or one of his family's.

"But we'll make sure he can't get to her." Seth said cheerfully, and both Esme and Carlisle had to smile at the optimistic boy.

"Let's hope he won't try." Esme suggested, sitting across from them, and Carlisle took over, spearing the pork chops and placing them on two plates along with potatoes and greens and gravy, the two plates loaded with food, and was amused to find the boys practically drooling over the food. "You're welcome to come in the mornings for breakfast as well." His wife told them as they hurriedly thanked Carlisle and dug in.

Carlie, curious about the new scents in the house, trotted down the stairs, sitting at their feet and looking pitiful as the two shape-shifters scarfed down their food as politely as possible. Giving in, Carlisle grabbed a piece from the skillet, making sure it was cool enough for her to eat, and placed it in her bowl, barely moving back in time as the little dog closed her teeth around the meat, eating happily, her tail whipping back and forth. "Is Leah alright?" He asked, joining them at the table once more, and Seth wrinkled his nose in obvious irritation.

"She's just being stubborn." He told them, putting his fork down for a minute. "She hates eating in her wolf form, but she's too proud to come here." Esme sighed sadly, and Seth hurried to comfort her. "It's not you! I mean…Leah would like you if she just gave you a chance." Esme smiled, reaching over and touching the boy's hand.

"Thank you Seth. Would you mind taking her some food…and some clothes? I'll give you both some to take as well." He smiled brightly at her, and they both thanked her once more. While they were in the shower, where they were encouraged to use all the hot water they wanted, since it didn't matter to the vampires, Esme turned to Carlisle. "Should we try talking to her?" She asked, obviously worried about the girl. He took her hand, squeezing as he thought.

"Rosalie is closest to her….they seemed to get on okay. Maybe she could…" he glanced up to find his blonde daughter in the doorway, her arms crossed.

"Tonight?" She wondered, and he nodded. The girl would need to eat, and he hated for her to be so uncomfortable because of them. He heard the hot water shut off and hoped the boys would stay for a little while. He knew the cold wouldn't bother them much, but they had plenty of beds in the house that weren't in use, and he was sure that would be more comfortable for them.

Emmett stood, joining Rosalie like Carlisle had known he would. There was no way he'd let her go alone with the threat of an attack hanging over them, and they headed out to find Leah and maybe convince her to spend the night…or at least get something to eat. Jacob stepped into the living room, dressed in some old clothes they'd kept, and didn't seem surprised to find the living room empty. Jasper had disappeared along with Alice, and Bella and Edward were in their bedroom.

"You're welcome to stay the night if you want." Carlisle informed him. You can sleep on the sofa if you want, or upstairs." He might have refused if Seth hadn't come in, looking hopeful like only he could manage, and Jacob gave in with a sigh.

"If you really don't mind…"

"Of course not. You can sleep in the living room, or use one of our beds." Jacob opted to sleep on the sofa, and Seth dropped onto the other one, both obviously exhausted as they fell asleep before Esme could find them blankets.

"It sounds like she's a shield…a strong one." Alice stared at Kate's words in surprise, then looked thoughtfully through the rest of the email. She'd been wondering for a while what Bella's gift could be. She knew for a fact her sister was gifted…she could keep even the most powerful telepath out of her mind…and kept Edward out on a daily basis, all without conscious thought. Her gift and Jaspers both worked on Bella, because they had nothing to do with her brain, but she'd also kept Jane from hurting her.

"Do you think she could shield other people?" That could be a valuable gift…it would be best to keep that from the Volturi.

She waited for her friend and cousin to reply, glancing up when Jasper moved to sit beside her, moving slowly enough so that she could turn the computer if she didn't want him to see. She gestured to the line from Kate, and his eyes widened. "Do you think…it would make sense…"

"Shields all work so differently." She said with a shrug. "Bella can keep Edward and Aro out…Jane couldn't hurt her either." He nodded, his gaze thoughtful. "Have you asked Carlisle?"

"I just spoke to Kate today…I thought maybe she or her family might have some experience with that. I'll ask him later." Jasper nodded, his arm moving around her as he waited for Kate's reply.

"If Bella could shield others….and the Volturi found out…" She sighed when his thoughts went to the same place as his, and watched the fear grow in his eyes.

"Carlisle wouldn't let Aro take her away from us, and she'd never choose to leave." Alice assured him, touching his back and resting her head against him. He turned his head, kissing her hair, then her lips, and she sat the computer on the ground as he shifted, laying them side by side, her conversation with Kate briefly forgotten.

Rosalie raced alongside Emmett, following their noses to Leah. The wolves all smelled the same…terrible. They smelled like dog, and after a shower, wet dog. So it was relatively easy to track down the female, sitting near the end of their driveway, her nose in the air as she turned to them. "Hey! Hungry?" Rosalie sighed at her mate's lack of tact as he grinned at the wolf who only stared at him, looking mildly disgusted. "We can't read minds." He reminded her, and Rosalie would have given anything to hear Leah's silent response.

"Jacob and Seth are sleeping at our house tonight. And Esme made dinner if you're hungry. All the vampires are upstairs if that helps." Rosalie told the girl with a slight smile. Leah didn't reply, but something in her eyes shifted. "We'll all stay away…you don't have to worry about Carlisle and Esme adopting you too." She teased, and Leah sighed, standing. Of all of them, Rosalie knew that Leah disliked her the least, and if there weren't going to be any vampires around, she might be tempted to use their house. Emmett turned and began to run, and Rosalie followed with Leah, the girl still in her wolf form.

Emmett told Carlisle and Esme in a near silent voice that Leah was coming and that she'd probably only stay if everyone cleared out, and as they approached the house, Leah ducked behind a bush, emerging dressed in a t shirt and shorts. No one was downstairs, and Emmett disappeared upstairs as Rosalie led her inside past the two sleeping boys. "The bathroom is that way, and there are some extra clothes in there. We're leaving, so we're getting rid of all of ours." She informed the girl who nodded silently, obviously uncomfortable. "The food's on the stove. Eat whatever you want."

"Thanks." She said simply, and Rosalie nodded, hurrying upstairs to her bedroom to give the girl privacy. Like her parents, she hoped the girl would stay the night…she looked exhausted.

Rosalie paused, then shook her head at herself. 'Bella's made me soft.' She thought in disgust, shutting her door and finding herself in Emmett's arms.

Bella glanced up at Edward, his face close to hers as he skimmed the medical book at her side. Catching her eye, he smiled, kissing her quickly, his arm tightening around her. He found that he was fine when he was with her…when he was holding her in his arms. She'd been going through the book for hours and he felt her losing focus. It was to be expected. She was still getting used to all the sensations that came with being a vampire, and newborns were notorious for being unable to focus, so he'd say she was doing well.

He was grateful to Jasper for keeping an eye on her. Her personality hadn't changed much, and she refused to ask for help even if she needed it, so having Jasper to look out for her was a plus. But he wondered what Alice was talking to Kate about. That had been all he'd caught before fleeing from her mind as Jasper had begun removing her shirt. Rosalie's mind wasn't safe either, and neither was Esme's so he tried to focus on Bella and her silent mind.

"What am I going to be doing?" She asked softly, closing the book and looking up at him. "During the funeral?" He ran a hand over her back.

"You'll be staying here." He said gently. "It would be strange for any of us not to attend…it would make the wolves suspicious. But you'll be safe here. Seth and Leah will attend the funeral and Jacob will continue to patrol the border. And as soon as it's over, we'll take you to see Charlie…and Angela." She smiled slightly, but her eyes were still dim. "You'll be safe here, Bella." He murmured, trying to reassure her.

"It's not that…" He leaned back, staring at her in confusion. "He yelled at you…he was so mean…"

"No Bella." He sat forward, cupping her face in his hands.

"But if…"

"No." He whispered. "I understand why he was upset. He is devastated, Bella, and he took it out on me. I can understand that."

"It's still no excuse." He smiled at her tenderly, kissing her.

"I'm not upset with your father. He'll be back to normal…or as close to it as he can get when he finds out what we are, as soon as he finds out that you're okay. Please don't be angry with your father because of me." She didn't answer, staring at her lap for a long time. "Love, please. He needs to see you." He didn't want her to break ties with her father because of one grief fueled outburst, but he also couldn't believe the warmth in his chest when he realized that she would. She would go to war with her father over him. Her love for him had only grown stronger with her transformation, and he took her hand, kissing her again. "You've been waiting all week to see him. Everything will be fine. And then you can see Angela. She'll be so excited." He'd seen it in Alice's mind, the girl's overwhelming confusion and fear, and then happiness…excitement. If Alice's visions were anything to go by, Angela would be Bella's friend for the rest of her life.

Carlisle made his way quietly down the stairs on Saturday morning, smiling slightly at the sound of heavy snores coming from the boys asleep on his sofa. The girl slept curled up on the loveseat, sound asleep from the sound of her breathing, and he couldn't resist taking a quilt from the chair and draping it over her. She didn't stir, and he moved into the kitchen, glad to have something else to focus on than the funeral arrangements of his daughter and her grief stricken father who was hopefully no longer trying to drink himself to death. He'd checked up on his earlier that morning, unable to resist, and had found him, thankfully, in bed, no beer cans or other alcohol bottles in sight.

He pulled out a box of pancake mix, something Bella had sometimes eaten on weekends, and began mixing it with water, turning on the stovetop and pulling out two skillets. He'd watched Bella make these several times, and drizzled some batter into the skillet once it was hot, wondering when he'd have another chance to cook. He'd found that he enjoyed it just as much as Esme, especially cooking for Bella, or Seth now. The batter sizzled and he heard footsteps behind him. He greeted the sleepy Seth quietly, gesturing for him to get something to drink if he wanted, and the boy poured himself a glass of milk. "When was the last time you went home, Seth?" He wondered, flipping a pancake.

"Um…about a week ago…we were all out here, watching for Sam."

"What does your mother think about that?" The boy flinched a little, placing the glass of milk on the table. To Carlisle's unending surprise, Seth seemed perfectly comfortable, as though he were a member of his family or the parent of a friend. Carlisle had dealt with his share of children, both in his human life, but more in this life. They often found themselves under his care at the hospital, and children were less likely to be wary of him than adults, thanks to his bedside manner. It seemed Seth was no exception.

"She's worried." The boy admitted. "After Dad died…well, she's always alone. I mean, Billy spends time with her, and Charlie was visiting her sometimes…she cooks for him a lot." He trailed off and Carlisle had to wonder at the relationship between Bella's father and Seth's mother.

"You know we'd be okay if you went home…" He told the boy gently. "If you're worried about your mother."

"We're kind of at war with Sam right now…" Seth told him sheepishly. "Jacob said we'd better stay away from the reservation until you guys are gone. Then everything should be okay." Carlisle nodded, his thoughts troubled as he placed the pancakes on the plate and made more, knowing that these boys ate a lot.

When he was finished, he placed the pancakes on a plate, and set three places at the table, waving away the boy's offer to help, then put butter and two bottles of syrup on the counter. "There should be plenty more food in the refrigerator or the cabinets if you're still hungry. I'm going to go check on Charlie." He wanted to speak to the man, especially after how things had ended with them the day before. As much as he hated the pain Charlie had caused his son, he knew that Edward didn't hold it against him, and he knew that he shouldn't either. "If you need anything, call for Esme."

"Thanks Dr. Cullen." Jacob stirred, and Carlisle ruffled the boy's hair, the vampire's smile kind at the formality in the child's tone.

"You can call me Carlisle, Seth. I'll see you later." He told him, then headed out to the garage, nodding briefly to Jacob who entered the kitchen as he was leaving. 'One more day…and we can get out of this town. I can stop keeping my daughter locked away, and we can start over in a new place…a new country.'


	45. Chapter 45

I sat on the floor of my bedroom, my eyes uncomfortably wet with tears that wouldn't fall as Carlie lay half in my lap. 'You're being stupid.' I told myself harshly as I hid in the corner like a frightened child. 'They'll all be home soon and then I can talk to Charlie and Angela…it'll be fine. Charlie will be fine.' According to Carlisle, Charlie was not coping well…at all. According to my father, he was dealing with his grief by drowning copious amounts of alcohol and hadn't returned to work since my accident. Alice continued to assure me that he would be okay, that as soon as he realized that I wasn't dead, it would all be fine. I tried to believe her.

I'd spent most of the day with my family who stayed closer to me than normal, all quick to hug me or put an arm around me, and Edward explained that none of them was looking forward to this funeral and pretending that I was dead…him least of all. Edward still hated spending time away from me, and it reminded me of the weeks after Italy when I'd all but clung to him, so sure that I would turn around one day and find out that he was dead…that I'd been to late. I told him again and again that he didn't have to go, especially considering how Charlie had hut him, but he insisted, reminding me that we were trying to fool Sam.

They'd all hugged me tightly before they'd left a half hour ago, Carlisle coming up first with Esme to hold me tightly, his lips against my forehead, then Emmett, who spun me around like he always did, then Jasper, his hug accompanied by the emotions…love and comfort and affection…and worry. He didn't want to leave me…he hadn't left me yet. I didn't know if he worried that I would lose control and that my emotions would become to strong for me, or that I would get myself into some kind of trouble. Regardless, he was the last, besides Edward, to leave. Rosalie touched my cheek, then pulled me into her arms, her embrace gentle. Rosalie had been the slowest to warm up to me, but had become my sister. Our relationship had a way to go, but I knew we had plenty of time, and I also knew that I wasn't exempt from Alice's big London shopping trip for the four of us.

Carlie nudged my hand, nibbling at me, and I stroked her back, remembering how Alice had taken my hands and kissed my cheek, promising that it would be okay, that her visions were solid…we would all arrive in England, safe. As if that's what I cared about. But there'd been something else in her eyes, and before I could ask, she'd told me quietly that she needed to talk to me later. Edward had been confused; she'd obviously refocused her thoughts before he could catch them, but she'd scurried out of the room after the others, leaving only Jasper in the doorway and Edward in front of me, his hand on my cheek. "I love you." I told him quietly, my voice firm as I moved closer, putting my hand over his. "More than anything."

"You are my life." He said it so often…but it never seemed to lose its meaning….it's impact on me. It was something he lived, something he showed me every day…I was everything to him. He loved me absolutely, and without me, he wouldn't want to go on. It was the exact way I felt about him. Leaning forward, I'd kissed him, my movements almost desperate as his arms wound around me.

I didn't want to break away. I wanted to continue….it baffled him that, as a newborn vampire, I could focus on him, on my feelings for him, rather than how thirsty I was all the time. But I could…my dominant thought any time he was near was how much I wanted him. So I wanted to tell Jasper to get out in the nicest way possible, and continue on to what I'd wanted for months…but that wouldn't exactly be possible. Jasper must have felt my frustration and desire and everything that went with it, because he cleared his throat loudly, whistling tunelessly as he stared at the ceiling. As if she'd been called, Carlie had raced over to him, sitting at his feet and whining until he finally picked her up, and I had hoped he would take her and go, but Edward had finally started to pull away. I'd held onto his arm, and he rested his forehead against mine. "Screw the wedding." I had murmured, pulling him back, but Jasper put the dog on the floor and flashed forward, grabbing Edward's arm and pulling him away, ignoring me when I'd whirled furiously, my teeth bared as I growled at him.

"No…no screwing the wedding….Alice worked hard on it. As for screwing before the wedding, you can do that on your own time." If I had been human, I would have blushed, the blood filling my cheeks and saturating the air with the scent of it. But instead, I'd hissed at him, a natural way to express my displeasure. He had rolled his eyes, unimpressed and amused. "Yeah, yeah. Terrifying. Come on Edward. We're going to be late." Edward had sighed, smiling slightly at me as Jasper pulled him away, leaving me in the living room with my arms crossed, Carlie lying at my feet.

I'd dropped the stance as the car pulled away, my arms dropping to my sides as I stared sadly around the living room where I'd spent so much time with my family. I would miss this house….it had been in this room that I'd met Esme, that I'd grown closer to my family…and now we were all going to another country, and I felt a lonely ache that didn't quite make sense. Reaching down, I gathered Carlie into my arms and hid my face in her fur, breathing in deeply as I smelled her fur and blood, no longer appetizing but familiar and comfortable.

Feeling suddenly exposed in the large room all by myself, I'd hurried up the stairs, sitting in the corner in our bedroom and resting my chin on my knees. It wasn't difficult to be still…not anymore. I could be a statue if I wanted. For a while I amused myself by thinking about walking into a town one night and standing still in the middle of the courtyard and pretending to be a statue…would they try to move me? Would they even notice? And I could disappear that night. I laughed a little at the thought, knowing Alice would find it funny to play that game with me.

But my newborn mind didn't want to stay still. I wanted to go outside…I was going crazy, cooped up in the house all week, and it was even harder with no one home with me. Carlie sniffed me, sneezing, then licking my cheek, and I smiled at her, commanding her to sit. She did, looking up at me proudly as I praised her, and then told her to lie down. She rolled over then, and then gave me her paw willingly. "You're the cleverest puppy in the world." I cooed to her, kissing her head and laughing when she barked happily, jumping up with her paws on my knees.

Emmett followed his mother and father, Rosalie's hand firmly in his own. They didn't care about the façade anymore. She was his wife and she needed him. Edward and Alice had been the only ones to see the vision, but he'd seen how affected they were…they'd sat at Bella's side from the start, through her agonized screams, doing their best to comfort her and assure her that they were there, that they loved her and wouldn't leave her. When he'd come upon the scene behind Edward, Jasper right behind him, he'd thought the same as both of them…he'd thought she was dead. And then she'd cried out, begging for them to help her, and he remembered the fire. The two of them had frozen in place while Edward raced to her side, but Carlisle had been adamant that they destroy her truck, set fire to the area…no one could know what happened.

He and Jasper had jerked into action while Carlisle and Edward had run her and Carlie to the house, hurrying to throw the truck in the river. It had been easy enough to set fire to the inside and the surrounding area…her truck did have a cigarette lighter. Before throwing the scrapped truck in the river, he'd stared for a brief second at the stereo…remembered the night when he'd installed it, laughing at her reluctant participation in their party…and then they'd left her.

Rosalie squeezed his hand and he jerked back to the present, waiting to let Edwards sit beside their father, and then sitting beside his brother, Rosalie on his other side. Alice slipped away from Jasper to get to Charlie's side, taking his hand in hers and speaking to him quietly. He looked awful, but at least he wasn't drunk…and he'd shaved. Emmett thought about going over, but he doubted the man would want any kind of comfort from him. He would just wait until that evening when they took Bella to see him.

They all sat on one side at the front of the small church, taking the seats of her family, while, on the other side, Charlie sat a seat away from Renee and Phil, who they couldn't exactly ban from the town. He, and the rest of them, were under strict orders from Carlisle not to start anything with Phil. Actually, he'd commanded them to avoid them entirely. Alice had seen that Renee and Phil would be leaving that evening, right after the funeral. They'd flown in the day before, stayed at a hotel, and according to Alice, would be glad to be away from the Cullens as soon as possible. Sue Clearwater came in next, taking a seat beside Charlie, and Seth and Leah nodded to them with small smiles, sitting behind their mother.

He gave a tiny smile when Alice pointedly ignored both Renee and Phil, even giving the woman a frosty glare as she turned away, touching Charlie's shoulder before moving to sit with Jasper once more, his arm going around her. They turned when Angela entered, her eyes red, as she sat behind them with her parents, leaning forward and putting her head in her hands, sniffing softly. Her parents seemed distraught as well, and soon, Ben was seated on her other side. Jessica Stanley came in as well, glancing hesitantly at them, then sat a few rows back.

There were a few kids from school, and then entire police force that came for Charlie, but it wasn't until Lauren Mallory entered alone that Edward leapt to his feet, Emmett close behind. It was only Carlisle's hand on Edward's arm that kept his son from dragging her out of the church, and Emmett was halfway to the aisle before Rosalie grabbed his arm, holding him back. He turned to find his father's stern face glaring at him, and Edward already back in his seat, his head in his hands. "Sit down. Now." His father murmured, and Emmett dropped back in his seat, crossing his arms and glaring straight ahead. But to his surprise, his father stepped past them, walking down the aisle to meet the stunned girl. All of them, except Edward who hadn't moved, turned to watch as he blocked her path, his arms crossed.

"Dr. Cullen…"

"Leave. Now." He ordered sharply, his normally kind, compassionate tone nowhere to be found. "Leave before I have you thrown out." He ignored the many eyes on them, while Laruen looked around, both stunned and uncomfortable. "Laruen, get out." Carlisle could be intimidating. Emmett knew that well. When he spoke like that, people tended to listen, and the girl huffed, whirling around as if offended, and stormed out of the church. Carlisle stood for a long time, his posture stiff, and Emmett didn't need Jasper's gift to feel the rage pouring from every line of his body, before he finally came back to his seat, touching Edward's shoulder briefly before sitting back down.

Edward's phone vibrated in his pocket and he quickly pulled it out. Emmett grinned a little as he read Bella's name, and the text. 'I love you. I'll see you soon.' He watched his brother take a deep breath, his eyes softening, then turned back to Rosalie, putting an arm around her and kissing her hair and ignoring the murmurs from behind them. Alice stiffened, then turned, reaching out and taking Angela's hand. The girl's eyes were red, but she managed a small, sad smile for Alice.

"She loved you so much, Angela." Alice murmured, squeezing the girl's hand. "She would hate to see you so upset." That only made Angela cry once more, and Ben rubbed her back, his eyes sad as well. Emmett sighed, leaning back against his chair and glancing at Jasper who had his jaw clenched, all of the emotions bearing down on him. Rosalie reached out and touched his hand, causing him to smile at her a little.

Once the church was filled with people from the school, the town, La Push, and Bella's small family, the pastor moved to the front, and Emmett was surprised to find a slideshow at the front with pictures of Bella he'd never seen. In several, she was only six or seven, a small, shy child peeking out from behind her mom's leg. There were a few as a toddler, asleep with her father, or holding a book in her hand. There were none with other children, and all of her birthday photos and photos of her playing were either with her parents or her alone.

But then the photos were more recent. There was one with Carlisle and Esme, then another where she sat beside Alice, staring off into space while Alice pointed to something on her computer, and Emmett chuckled softly, the sound echoed by Jasper, and even Edward managed a smile. There was one of her with Edward in the living room, his arm around her, the pure adoration in his eyes taking many of the audience members aback, and she was smiling up at him, probably laughing at something he'd said. In another, she was outside, her head turned back as she ran, Carlie on her heels, and Edward had his hands on his knees in the shade, laughing. One or two photos were of her and Angela, the girls smiling into the camera, and in one, Carlie sat between them, refusing to look at the camera. The last picture was Bella in the living room, sitting between Emmett and Jasper. She was concentrating on the screen, a controller in her hands. Emmett had a hand on her back, and was pointing to something on the TV, and was leaning back against the sofa, grinning and watching in amusement as she probably struggled through some difficult level. In the background, Edward was talking to Alice, and Carlisle and Esme could be seen in the kitchen doorway. Rosalie was probably the one taking the picture…she and Alice had experimented with photography, along with Esme, and they'd obviously had plenty of shots of Bella.

Behind them, Emmett could hear Angela's soft sniffs, her sobs increasing as the pictures changed. And on the other side of the aisle, Renee had her head in her hands, tears dripping down her face. Emmett sighed, squeezing Rosalie's hand as the pastor began to speak. The man hadn't known Bella, but he'd obviously done plenty of funerals, and he gave a nice generic message about death and moving on that Emmett ignored.

Suddenly, Jasper stood, pulling away from Alice and hurrying out the back, and Emmett and Edward watched him in concern, as did Carlisle. They looked at Alice as he hurried out the back door, but she shrugged, her eyes worried. Still, it would draw attention to them if they were all to leave, so they kept their seats, Alice taking Rosalie's other hand, and his sister closed her eyes, obviously trying to see around the wolf that was staying at the house to guard Bella.

I sat at the piano, running my fingers lightly over the keys. Alice had bought Edward a new one that would be taken to the house in England, but in a strange, silly way, I would miss this one. It was the first piano Edward had ever played for me. I pressed a key gently, listening as the sound echoed throughout the large, open room. My phone chimed and I pulled it out, smiling a little. 'I love you too. I miss you.' I hated that Edward had to do this…that any of them did. 'It's almost over.' I told myself firmly, pressing down on another key, wondering if Edward would teach me to play. I'd never had any aptitude for music, but it might be fun to try…and Edward might enjoy it.

The smell was unmistakable and disgusting. I felt myself freeze in place, and I whirled when Jacob stepped through the door, hesitating when he saw me. I kept my seat at the piano, watching him warily. We were on the same side…I had no reason to worry about him. But seeing the guy who'd been my best friend…who'd kissed me against my will…who'd been there when I needed him…what was I supposed to say to him.

"You look freaky, Bella." I had to smile, the reluctant expression crossing my face before I could consider feigning anger.

"It's the eyes." I told him, the words coming easily.

"The teeth are kind of creepy too…do you have fangs?" I bared my teeth at him, laughing a little when he chuckled.

"They were right, you know. You smell terrible."

"Yeah? So do you." I laughed softly, crossing my arms and relaxing my posture a little. "Bella…I just…I never got to apologize, you know…about your hand. And kissing you…and…I was a jerk. Sorry." I nodded, surprisingly glad to hear those words.

"It's okay." I murmured.

"So…how was it?" I looked up at him in confusion. "After the wreck…what does it feel like? Turning into a monster?" His tone was playful, but his eyes were solemn.

"Like burning alive." I answered honestly, trying not to remember. He moved forward a little, looking around as though he were nervous. "What?"

"We…we haven't heard anything from Sam…not since you were changed. Leah and Seth are at the funeral…so if he was going to pick a day to attack…."

"You think he will?" I asked, standing nervously.

"I don't know…I wanted to stay close just in case." I nodded, looking down at the piano bench as if to sit again, but decided against it, standing stiffly in the middle of the room.

"Um…are you hungry? We have food….I can make you something…"

"You can still cook?" I paused, smiling a little.

"I guess…I haven't tried it since…um, I can try pancakes or chicken or something?"

"I'm fine….I do know how to cook." I forced a smile, glancing once more at the window, then sat down stiffly while he remained standing. "So how long is this funeral?"

"Um…another two hours I think." Despite his apology and our attempts at friendly conversation, the air was still a little strained between us. "Are you sure you don't want anything?" He grinned, shaking his head, his eyes still raking over me.

"So…" He spoke after a minute. "You guys are heading off to England."

"Yeah…after we talk to Charlie. We're going to school there."

"Do you think you'll come back?" I hesitated, looking over at the window.

"I'm not sure."

"I'll miss you." I looked at him in surprise. I'd been under the impression that he no longer wanted anything to do with me…not that I'd given him a chance either way.

"You said you'd rather see me dead." I reminded him flatly, letting the hurt show in my eyes, and he reached out to touched my arm, his gaze sad.

"I didn't mean it Bella." He murmured, and his hand was uncomfortably warm against my arm. "I…I was upset, and I didn't think…I'm just sorry. Really, I'm glad you're okay. No matter what you are now." I gave a little smile, touching his hand. "Are you happy?" He asked quietly, and I smiled.

"I'm….so happy, Jacob. Really…I couldn't even have imagined…" I laughed a little. "I mean, it's hard to get used to, but it's worth it. And I'm glad the pain is over." He nodded, removing his hand and crossing his arms.

"It sounded pretty bad." I started to answer, but he stiffened suddenly, then swore, his voice echoing through the room as he turned toward the door. "It's Sam." He swore again, this time stringing together several curses, grabbing my arm. "Not just Sam…there's at least five of them. You've got to go Bella."

"Go where!?" I cried, my nose picking up the scent.

"Just run. They'll smell you in no time…they'll kill you Bella."

"I'm not leaving you here!"

"Yes, you are! Now go!" He tried to shove me toward the back door, but I stiffened, not allowing him to move me and he glared, clenching his fists. Carlie, who been sitting quietly at my feet, snarled at him in warning, and if we hadn't been in that situation, I would have laughed at the puppy trying to protect a vampire from a werewolf. "Bella!" He snapped, demanding my attention once more. "They. Will. Kill. You! He already tried once!" My eyes widened…I couldn't remember what had happened right before the crash. I'd asked Carlisle about that, and he'd explained that my body had been shutting down when he'd found me, that there was very little chance of me remembering what had caused the wreck, even if he'd been able to save me without changing me. But now that my brain worked differently, I'd probably never remember.

"Sam…he tried to kill me?"

"He caused the wreck, Bella! He wanted you dead before they changed you, but Carlisle got there before he could finish you off. I caught him…I'm not going to let him kill you! You're vampire family will tear me to shreds!" I knew that this wasn't the reason…Jacob still cared about me. He truly wanted to keep my friendship, even if he knew that that's all he'd ever get.

"I'm not leaving you." I growled this time, clenching my own fists and facing the door where I could see the wolves now. "Come on." I stepped forward, but he tried to grab me, making Carlie bark angrily, but we both ignored her.

"What are…"

"I'm not letting them hurt Esme's house." I murmured, throwing the door open, and he followed after a minute, his pants tied to his leg, his shirt laying on the back porch as I growled at the wolves that approached. I shut the door firmly behind me, not wanting Carlie to get out. I didn't know if they'd hurt my dog, but I didn't want to chance it.

There were seven of them. Paul, Quill, Embry, and Sam were the only ones I really knew. Sam had saved my life once, when he'd found me laying in the forest. He'd carried me home, into my bedroom. He'd held me so close, rubbing his warm hands up and down my arms, trying to get me warm. Paul had always teased me when I hung out with Quill and Embry. He'd reminded me a little of Emmett, only with a shorter temper. He'd been the one to nearly attack me when I'd learned what they were. Quill and Embry had been Jacob's best friends. They'd called me vampire girl.

Now they all stared at me with unease and fear…except Sam. Sam stared at me with hatred. He hated vampires…all of us. I had no doubt in my mind that he wanted me dead. But I had to try…I couldn't fight all of them…heck, I doubted I could fight one of them. I may be strong, but I'd never trained to fight. Neither of my brothers had had a chance to show me how. And I wouldn't leave Jacob here to die. "We're leaving." I announced, standing straight and glaring down at them. "We're leaving the country. We won't ever come back." None of them were human, and I couldn't read minds, so it was really no use…I had no idea what they were thinking. Sam growled. "You tried to kill me." I announced, wondering if that would do any good. "When I was human. You had no proof that they were going to do anything, but you tried to kill me anyway! You broke the treaty first!" Sam snarled at me, crouching, but it was the three pack members I didn't recognize that lunged, and Jacob moved in front of me, leaping and holding them off.

I stiffened, backing away as Sam attacked, pinning me against the porch railing. I was surprised when it didn't give. Turning as quickly as I could, I shoved him away and tried to run. If I could just call Carlisle, he could come help…or send help. Of course, they'd known that Jacob would be nearby, so Alice wouldn't have been able to see me regardless….so calling my family was my only hope. But first I had to evade Sam's huge jaws, one of the only things that could hurt me now. I spun out of reach, taking a few steps before I was headed off by Paul and Quill, Embry on my other side, and I knew what was going on. They were keeping Jacob busy while the others kept me from running. Sam would be the one to kill me…he would get the honor of tearing the vampire apart.

I danced away from him, knowing that I would never tire, and taking a second to be grateful before moving back towards Jacob, hoping that Sam would give up eventually…or that I could hold him off until my family returned. But I knew that eventually Jacob would tire as well, and that there was a chance that he'd get hurt soon. Sam snapped, his jaws nearly closing around me, but I turned, suddenly angry at the wolf who'd tried to kill me, biting down on his shoulder before letting him jerk away, yelping in pain. The blood coated my mouth and I bared my teeth at him, hoping that would convince him to stay away. Our venom was poisonous to them, although it was only fatal in combination with other injuries, so I didn't feel bad about biting him. On my left side, Embry snarled, stepping closer to me.

Suddenly I heard Jasper's voice screaming my name, his scent hitting me belatedly, and the snarling and barking of the wolves increasing as he raced toward us. Quill and Paul ran over, cutting him off and dancing around him, effectively keeping him back, but I was too preoccupied by the huge black wolf whose jaws closed around my upper arm to be much help. Sam yanked on my arm, making me scream in surprised pain, letting him pull me for fear that he'd pull my arm off. I felt a crack form in my shoulder and was shocked at how much it hurt. It burned and stung and ached…different from when I was human, but just as painful as if he'd broken my arm.

He pulled me down onto the ground, his shoulder bleeding heavily from where I had bitten him, and my fighting didn't seem to be getting me anywhere. Rather, the crack was widening and it hurt! I screamed again when he pulled at me, his teeth biting down on my arm. "No! Let her go!" I heard Jasper yell, and I looked around, about to scream for him when I heard him grunt in pain. I looked up, catching sight of him past Jacob who had one wolf pinned, but another was on him in a second. Paul had his teeth around Jasper's wrist, and he closed his eyes for a second, his jaw tight, before turning to fight him off.

'They're hurting my brother!' The thought drove the sharp pain in my arm from my mind and I saw red. I whirled in the space of a second, twisting until I could reach the wolf behind me, and ignoring the sharp pain as my arm cracked even further, I sank my teeth into his neck, the animal like taste of his blood filling my mouth once more as he gave a breathless gasp, then gurgle as I ripped at him, the flesh under his chin tearing. The wolf cried out once more, a pained whimper, then dropped beside me, and I turned over, baring my teeth and growling at the wolves that had gone after my brother and Jacob, but Sam's pack was all backing away, staring between their fallen leader and Jacob, who was watching me wide eyed, warily. Jasper ignored all this, appearing at my side and crouching beside me, his hand on my arm.

"Are you okay? He hurt you…" I clenched my jaw as the joint in my arm burned, but was more worried about him as he gently ran his hand over my back, comforting me with his emotions. Through the pain radiating from my shoulder and the comfort that Jasper was pushing at me, I wondered what he was even doing here.

"Are you okay?" I demanded, reaching out with my other arm to where a wolf had grabbed him, but he shook his head.

"I'm fine, Bella. Let me see your arm." I saw that a crack had formed from my shoulder to my elbow, wider at the top, and he touched the skin there gently, his gaze troubled for a moment. "Are you hurt anywhere else?" I shook my head, and was stunned when he put his mouth to my arm where the crack was the widest, his tongue running over my skin. I jumped, but he held me in place, then smiled wryly as he pulled away. "The venom will help it heal more quickly…just give it a few seconds. Stay still." He advised me, his arm touching my back for a moment before he stood over me protectively, facing the other wolves. I could actually feel the skin on my arm coming back together, the cracks disappearing, and the burning lessened until I could barely feel it. Still, having my brother lick me had been a bit weird.

I looked around as he stood over me, and my eyes widened as I caught sight of Sam's bloody form a few feet away. The strange fury had subsided and I felt my hands shaking. "Jasper, I didn't…I didn't want to…" I whispered, staring up at my brother who shook his head, putting a hand on my head.

"He tried to kill you and you killed him first, Bella. No one could fault you for that." He soothed me, and I stood up beside him, making him frown in worry, but my arm felt fine. He turned back to the wolves, his eyes narrowing. "We don't want to hurt anyone. We're going to leave…as soon as the others get back from the funeral, we'll be on our way. Leave us alone." He warned, his teeth showing. They all looked back and forth between themselves as Jasper pushed me back toward the house, murmuring for me to get inside. I knew he would probably lock me in a closet and stand guard now. Before he could get me back inside, Jacob stepped forward, looking intently at Jasper who sighed irritably. "My brother's the one who can read minds. You'll have to actually speak if you want me to understand you." He growled in frustration, glancing over at the other wolves he obviously wanted further away from me.

The red wolf seemed to sigh and turned on his heels, disappearing briefly into the woods, then returning in his human form, wearing only a pair of shorts. "You killed Sam." Jacob said simply, staring at me. Jasper's eyes narrowed as he glanced over at me, and then back at our ally.

"Will you get inside the da*n house?" Jasper growled at me, trying to push me back as the other wolves moved closer to Jacob. "He tried to kill her first….he tried twice...that's why we had to change her in the first place." Jasper spoke to the wolves, but Jacob was staring at me, ignoring Jasper's attempts at justification.

"You know what this means, Bella?" My thoughts spun around my head at a million miles an hour and I tried to pick which meaning he meant…then realized it.

"You're the only alpha now." I told him simply, and he nodded. Jasper's eyes widened, then his arm went out in front of me as Paul moved forward.

"That's nice. Can we have this discussion inside…and alone?" Jacob chuckled, and I stepped in front of Jasper's arm, ignoring his curse. Turning to his pack, Jacob grinned.

"The way I see it, Doc Fang was just doing what she wanted…I don't see any reason he shouldn't have saved her, especially after Sam tried to kill her." I knew how this worked…they had to listen to him now. He was their new leader. He'd told me that werewolves had to have an Alpha…they couldn't ignore a direct command from him.

"I'll go ahead and assume that Bella will be the last addition to your little family?" Jasper nodded tersely and Jacob grinned at my brother's unease. "Right. The Cullens haven't broken the treaty." He announced. "Anyone have a problem with that?" The others all sat on their haunches or lowered their heads, probably unhappy, but not about to test their new leader who was obviously sympathetic toward our cause. "Great. Let's go. The Cullens are welcome to come back to Forks any time they want. If you want to send your leader to come and see me before you leave, we'll make some changes to the treaty. Actually you can all come if you want." Jacob lifted a hand, waving, and then shifted, his shorts ripping as he ran back toward the border, and his pack followed.

I stepped forward, not sure if I wanted to follow them or just call out and thank Jacob, too stunned at this sudden turn of events to fully process everything, but Jasper's hand closed firmly around my uninjured arm. "Don't even think about it. I swear, even as a vampire I've got to watch you 24/7. We should have known better than to leave you alone for a second." He grumbled, dragging me back to the house, and I laughed, turning and following him willingly. He shut and locked the door behind us, sitting down on the sofa with a loud sigh, Carlie at his heels as she leapt up beside him.

"Jasper…how did you know I needed help?" He looked up at me, his irritability and fear falling away, and he smiled a little, standing once more and pulling me into his arms, his head against mine.

"I didn't." He told me simply. "But I was sitting at that stupid funeral and the preacher was talking and…and all I could think about was how much of a danger magnet you are." I smiled, hugging him back, and he kissed my hair. "I couldn't chance it. Not after everything…" He pulled away for a second, smiling grimly. "We have got to teach you how to fight. Soon." I laughed, and although I didn't say anything, I doubted he would ever stop trying to protect me, even if I could get to a point where I could fight as well as he could. He led me over to the sofa then, and pulled me to sit with him, his arm still around me. Carlie leapt into my lap as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. "I'd better text Alice. She hates it when she can't see." He shifted, allowing me to lean my head against his shoulder, and his fingers moved over the keys as Carlie lay down in my lap, her head on his leg. Closing my eyes, I waited for my family to return to this house for the last time…at least for a little while.


	46. Chapter 46

Edward stood as soon as the preacher stepped away from the podium, fighting between respectfulness and his urgent need to see Bella. The service itself may be over, but there was a long reception afterwards that he had no plans of attending. Why had Jasper left in the middle of the ceremony? His family was sympathetic in their thoughts…except for Alice. Alice was right behind him, worried about Jasper who apparently hadn't explained where he was going. They left the church while their family mingled, and as soon as they reached the forest, they broke into a run. 'Maybe he just missed her.' Alice's thoughts were desperate as she raced along beside him. 'If something happened to Jasper…'

"Check your phone." He suggested. She shook her head.

"Dead." She said tersely, and he could understand that she would have been too preoccupied to charge her phone. He hadn't heard from Bella, and she couldn't see anything…. "Stupid wolf…still too close!" She cried angrily. "The future is all screwed up! What's going…" She broke off as they approached the house, the smell of wolves…of several wolves, hitting them all at once, and Edward froze when he saw Sam's body, his throat ripped open. There were no other bodies…but he could smell Bella and Jasper faintly.

Alice was panicked for a moment. 'No…no, not Jasper. Please…just not Jasper!' He shook his head, grabbing her arm as he focused on the house, sighing in relief.

"They're fine." The wolf pack was close, but moving away from them, still interfering with Alice's vision…he could hear Jacob's thoughts, and between his brother and the wolf, he got the story. "It's okay…Bella killed Sam." He told her softly, his voice grim, and she sighed, her eyes sad and sympathetic. Bella was sure to feel bad about that once she got away from Jasper. Then again, after this, his brother might never let her get away from him, Edward thought in amusement.

'You weren't kidding. She's still a danger magnet. I can't believe we tried to leave her alone for a whole afternoon.' He smiled a little at Jasper's thoughts as they entered the house, knowing they'd need to take care of Sam's body…or maybe the wolves would do that. Either way, he was just glad she was okay. They were sitting together on the sofa, her tucked under Jasper's arm and Jasper looking at his phone. They both looked up as soon as Edward and Alice entered, and Bella was in his arms in a matter of seconds. He took a deep breath, squeezing her tightly, then pulling away, his hands on her shoulders. He barely notice Alice fly to Jasper's side, his lip between her teeth as she threw her arms around him, sniffing softly. "It's alright, darlin." He murmured, kissing her hair. "We're fine."

"Are you hurt?" He demanded, touching her face. He was distracted by Jasper's thoughts, and they both turned to him as Edward watched the wolf grabbing her arm, her pained cry…and then suddenly….nothing. He froze, his eyes widening as Jasper's thoughts disappeared. Completely. He hadn't refocused his attention…he wasn't thinking about anything else…Edward looked over at Alice, but he could still hear her. 'What….what's going on?' Jasper seemed confused, catching his eye, and Bella, who'd been staring at their brother intently, seemed to snap out of it.

"Edward?" Bella was looking at him in concern, and suddenly he could hear Jasper again, but his thoughts were revolving around Edward…and wondering if he was okay. "Are you alright?" He nodded slowly, staring at Jasper in confusion.

"What? What's the matter?" Jasper was looking around, as if waiting for an attack, but Edward shook his head.

"Are you both okay?" He asked instead, looking over at Bella. Now he could see it again in Jasper's mind, the painful looking crack in her arm, Jasper's quick treatment, his protective stance in front of her. He placed a hand on Bella's arm, knowing that all signs of the painful wound would be gone, and hoping that the pain would be as well.

"We're fine." Jasper told him with a nod, still confused but not asking as he held Alice against him, rubbing his wife's back as she clung to him. Edward smiled down at Carlie who had shifted to the sofa to nap, and rubbed her head, still holding tightly to Bella. She was still watching him in concern, and he puled her under his arm, leading her up the stairs to their bedroom and shutting the door.

"Edward, are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm only worried about you. Is your arm okay?" She nodded, squeezing his hand, and he took a deep breath, confusion apparent in his eyes. "I was reading Jasper's thoughts…he was thinking about the fight. And then…his thoughts disappeared." Her eyes widened, and she glanced at the door and back at him. "I couldn't hear anything from him…at all. That's never happened before." His confusion and worry was reflected in her eyes until she looked up at him, her eyes widening.

"I didn't want you to know." She whispered. "I didn't want you to see that I'd gotten hurt." He frowned, not following. "You can't hear my thoughts…do you think…" He let out a breath, suddenly catching on.

"You think you might have hidden his thoughts from me?" He asked, remembering how, as soon as she'd been concerned for him, he'd been able to hear Jasper once more, and he had to admit, it was a strange coincidence. "I think we'll need to speak to Carlisle….and maybe Alice." He said with a wry smile. "For now, I'm just glad you're okay." She smiled, putting her hands on his face and kissing him, and he abruptly remembered where they'd left off.

He had to admit, they had some time. And Alice and Jasper were busy….Bella was apparently on board…one of her hands fisted in his hair, the other splayed out against his chest. She was pressed against him as closely as she could get, but he wanted her closer. His hand was on her lower back, but it would be so easy to slip down and….

His phone chimed in his pocket, the loud ringing making him pause, then swear under his breath, and she laughed softly in response. He pulled away, frustrated and irritable, then worked to temper his voice when it was their father's voice. Abruptly he remembered that one of them should have called him. "Sorry Carlisle." He began, pulling Bella close with one arm while he talked. "Bella and Jasper were attacked by Sam."

"Are they okay?" Carlisle demanded. "We're on our way."  
"No, it's alright. Sam…is dead." He felt Bella cringe and rubbed her back, reaching down to kiss her hair. "Jacob is the new alpha. Everyone else is fine."

"You really should have called." His father sounded more tired than upset, and Edward frowned sheepishly, even if his father couldn't see him.

"I'm sorry…but you should probably all stay for the reception."  
"It's going to last another hour or so…I think we'll come home." His father told him simply, and Edward could fully understand. As much as he wanted Bella to himself, he would have plenty of time with her on the honeymoon, and it wasn't just him this was difficult for. He knew that Bella had had a hard first week, being cooped up in a house, and now being away from all of them right before she was going to speak with her father…he didn't want to keep her away from everyone.

"Alright. What should we do about Sam?"

"Call Jacob and make him take care of it." His father sounded a little irritated, and Edward could understand. For weeks, Sam had been threatening them, ever on the edges of their radar, ready to hurt them. Carlisle was probably fed up by this point, just like the rest of them. Still, Sam's mate deserved his body at least, and maybe his family would want to know what had happened.

Carlisle felt Emmett staring at him as he spoke quietly on the phone. At his son's side ide, Rosalie gripped his hand as they waited anxiously for news about Bella and Jasper…and now, Edward and Alice. Shutting the phone as he hung up, he smiled at his children and wife, who stood behind them. "It's okay. Everyone is fine. Sam and his pack attacked Bella and Jacob, but Sam was killed. Bella was injured but she's fine now." Emmett sighed in relief, hugging Rosalie to his side, and Esme put her hands on their shoulders, relief pouring from her as well.

"Who killed Sam?" Esme wondered, and he could understand her worry. If it had been Bella…well he hoped it had been Jasper. He knew his son would feel no guilt over destroying the wolf that had threatened his family. Bella on the other hand, would probably wallow in guilt if allowed to.

"We're leaving?" Rosalie confirmed, and Carlisle nodded, gesturing for them to follow him out the door, nodding to the preacher on their way out. Although it would have been polite to stay, none of them had wanted to pretend to eat and talk to people for an hour. Outside, the sun had sank below the horizon, and Carlisle checked his watch. They were due to leave around midnight. They had six hours to speak to Charlie, then Angela….and from there, they would head to the airport.

When they arrived home, Carlisle wasn't surprised to see the body was gone, but the smell of blood and of wolves was still strong in the air. Esme flinched, moving closer to him, and he put an arm around her, leading the three of them into the house. Jasper and Alice smiled up at them from the sofa where they sat with Carlie, and Esme hurried to their side, pulling them into her arms. They both laughed softly, hugging their mother and assuring her that they were okay while Carlisle headed upstairs to get the full story from Bella.

He knocked at their bedroom door, sincerely hoping he wasn't interrupting anything, but Edward invited him in after a second, and he found them sitting on the bed, a book in Bella's lap. "Are you alright?" He asked first, needing to hear it from her, and she nodded.

"Sam hurt my arm, but it's fine now." He moved over to the side of the bed, lifting her sleeve after she nodded her permission, holding out her arm, and carefully ran his fingers over the warm skin there. He smiled down at her, kissing the top of her head, and she hugged him.

"I'm glad you're okay…and that Jasper thought to check on you." He didn't even think about the alternative. Not now…not with his family safe and together. "The reception should last another hour, and Charlie will be home." Bella looked down at the bed, her posture stiff and nervous, and he placed a hand on her back. "Bella, you don't have to do this. Really. We can wait."

"I need to…he needs to know…"

"It's going to be difficult." He told her gently. She nodded, obviously remembering the humans from before. She hadn't been around humans since the change, and he worried. If she were to accidently hurt her father…she would never forgive herself. "We will be there with you." He assured her as she rested her head against him arm.

"I know." She took a deep breath, looking up at him. "Thank you."

"Now…can you tell me what happened?" She seemed to know what he was really asking, and she stared down at the bed as he held her tightly. Edward sat closely on her other side, her hand held firmly in his. He had his answer though…it was written all over her face. "You killed Sam." He confirmed in a whisper, looking down at her sympathetically.

"I…I was trying not to." She whispered, her voice shaky. "He wouldn't listen…and then Jasper came…they had Jacob…there were so many of them." He could hear the residual fear in her voice, fear she probably hadn't felt at the time, but he knew how it felt to find fear in a memory. He rubbed her arm, silently encouraging her to go on. "They hurt Jasper…and I got so mad." Edward touched her face, his eyes solemn.

"Don't think for one second that we're upset with you. If you hadn't killed him, Jasper would have. He would have killed you as soon as he got the chance…look what he did you your arm. He was trying to kill you."

"He ran out in front of my truck…I didn't remember, but Jacob told me." Carlisle watched his son stiffen. They'd all worked very hard to keep that from him, but he hadn't expected to be able to for long. Edward took a slow, deliberate breath, nodding as he accepted that information, fury plain on his face.

"I'm…very glad you killed him then." She smiled faintly, leaning against his arm, and Carlisle stepped back.

"Jacob said he wanted to talk to you…about the treaty." She told him from his son's side, and he inclined his head.

"I'll give him a call. We'll leave in an hour or two…Charlie should have returned home by then. I'll ask Alice about the specifics." He nodded to them, touching her head before leaving, closing the door firmly behind him.

I sat in the car, my hands clenched in my lap. Jasper and Alice were following Edward's car with his motorcycle, and the others rode in Carlisle's Mercedes. We hadn't talked to Carlisle about whatever I'd done earlier to Jasper…my brother didn't seem to have noticed…it had only affected Edward. But I decided that I had enough to worry about for the moment, and Edward seemed to agree, so we decided to discuss it after we got settled in the new house. I squeezed Edward's hand tightly, my nerves obvious, and his finger rubbed over the back of my hand. "It's going to be okay." He assured me.

"I know." My voice wasn't very convincing, but he didn't call me out on it.

"We'll all be there just in case." The fact that my throat was burning painfully wasn't helping matters, and I was sure he knew that. Apparently I had another few weeks or so of the painful burning until I got used to it, so anytime I was the least bit thirsty, it made itself known in the back of my throat. I was trying to distract myself, but at the moment, all I could think about was accidently hurting my father…or causing him some harm…or even killing him! It was possible now. And what if he was furious with me? What if he hated me for this? Would it be better to let him think I was dead?

'Of course not.' I told myself sternly. 'It's going to be fine. I just need to…to…calm down.' We pulled up to the driveway, and I was as stiff as a statue beside Edward who continued rubbing the back of my hand.

"It's okay, love." He murmured to me, pulling me to his side and kissing my hair. "It's going to be okay. You'll be fine." I could smell Charlie….could hear his heart beating and hear his blood pumping…how had Edward done this?

'He's my father.' I told myself firmly. 'I don't have a choice. I have to do this. I will not hurt him.' Taking a deep, unnecessary breath, I watched as Carlisle and Esme stepped onto the porch, knocking softly on the door. I waited, ducked down in the car, but in the dark I was sure he couldn't see me. Charlie opened the door, his eyes widening in surprise. He was still dressed in his suit, his hair combed back.

As they shut the door, stepping inside the house, Edward and I left the car. My brothers and sisters were going to stand outside, just in case. They stood by the porch, watching as I walked up the stairs beside Edward. Jasper reached out, taking my hand and infusing me with calm. "We need to tell you something, Charlie, and it's very important that you never speak of this…to anyone." I closed my eyes as Carlisle spoke, able to smell Charlie's scent…a little stronger now. Edward held my hand firmly. For a second, I wanted to ask Emmett to come in with us…he was the only one guaranteed to be strong enough to hold me. Then again, we hadn't tried arm wrestling yet…but surely between him, Edward, Carlisle, and Esme, they could hold me back…were I to attack. I couldn't imagine wanting to hurt my father, but I thought of Jasper when I'd cut myself. I was sure he hadn't wanted to hurt me then either.

"You probably don't want an explanation, although we will give you one if you wish. But…well, let's just say, there are more things in this world than you know…and it's usually for the best." Carlisle paused, and I leaned my head against Edward's shoulder, sure Jasper could feel my fear. "This time, however, we thought you should know…" He sighed. "Charlie, you may want to sit down."

"Carlisle, I don't understand a word you're saying." My father grumbled tiredly, and I heard his sit on the sofa. Edward's hand squeezed mine, a promise both that he was here for me, and that he would hold me back if it were necessary.

"I love you." He murmured suddenly, making me miss Carlisle's next statement, and I turned, kissing him, my free hand going to his face.

"Uh…Bella….Edward? Guys…she needs to focus." I pulled away, feeling a wave of embarrassment that made Jasper laugh under his breath, and Edward turned back to the door, me following suit, although now, I was wondering where he was taking me on the honeymoon…and how long we were going to stay. Days? Weeks? Would I get a full week alone with him… "Bella." Jasper's voice was both frustrated and amused, and I mumbled an apology while Emmett snickered, his arm around Rosalie.

"I think it would be best if we just showed you what was going on. Edward?"

"Look, Carlisle, if you're looking for an apology you can just say so. I know I was out of line…" His voice trailed off as Edward and I entered the house, shutting the door behind us. He seemed confused at first, probably wondering why Edward would have another woman attached to his hand. And then his eyes widened, his mouth dropping open, and I prayed that he didn't have a heart attack….and that if he did, Carlisle could save him. "Bella." He breathed my name, his heart racing suddenly, and I turned my face slightly when his blood pumped through his heart and to his face, trying to hold my breath and battle the sharp, sudden pain in my throat. Esme looked at me sympathetically, Carlisle's eyes softening as well, and Edward's hand tightened around mine. "Bella?" He asked again, standing now, and I forced a smile, not daring to breathe.

"Hi, Dad." I spoke loudly enough for him to hear, stepping forward a little by Esme who's hand rested on my shoulder.

"You…oh god I've lost it." He shook his head sadly, putting his face in his hands, and I stepped forward again, this time only a few feet away.

"Dad…" He dropped down onto the sofa, his head in his hands as his shoulders shook.

"You're dead. I saw the truck…there's no way…no one could have survived that…"

"Dad." This time I spoke louder, kneeling suddenly in front of him, and I felt Carlisle move with me, his hand on my shoulder, ready to pull me away if he needed to. But I was thinking about my dad….Charlie Swan, the chief of police…one of the toughest guys I'd ever met…crying because he thought I was still dead. I reached out hesitantly and touched his hand, making him look up at me in shock.

"Bella…"

"Dad, I'm alive. I'm fine, see." I squeezed his hand gently, hoping the contacts Alice had given me earlier still hid the redness of my eyes this close.

"How?" He whispered the word, his eyes wet and hopeful and I smiled wryly.

"I think….need to know basis would be a good policy here. I almost died in that wreck. Carlisle saved me. Okay?" He looked up at Carlisle who was still squeezing my shoulder gently, his thumb rubbing over the back of my arm. He suddenly surged forward, his arms going around me, and although I knew he was probably using his full strength, I could barely feel it. As carefully as I could, I put my arms around him, not even daring to breath, and he hesitated for a second, obviously taking note of my cold, hard skin, then seemed to forget about it, squeezing me once more.

"Oh god Bella." He sobbed, squeezing me and rocking me back and forth. I went with the movement, keeping my face away from his neck. He was hot…his skin uncomfortably warm against mine, but I didn't care. He didn't release me for a long moment, and Carlisle stayed close the entire time until Charlie looked up at him in confusion.

"What?" He asked my father, looking between the older vampire and me. "What's wrong?" Carlisle sighed, smiling a little.

"That…is another 'need to know' issue I'm afraid. Suffice to say, we're keeping a close eye on Bella." I stood, stepping back a little, and Carlisle put his arm around me. "She's doing very well, but we need to be careful." Charlie looked at me for a long moment, then over at Edward.

"Edward…" He shook his head, smiling at Charlie.

"You don't have to…"

"No I do. I had no right to talk to you that way, Edward. You've been nothing but good for her. I knew you had nothing to do with that accident." Edward nodded, smiling a little, and I knew that he was just relived that I was okay…that it had been Sam and not me that was killed today.

"For obvious reasons, we're still going to England. But our offer stands, Charlie. Why don't you come up in a couple of weeks? We'll send you the plane tickets. And you still have Bella's number…keeping in contact shouldn't be a problem. If you need anything…let us know." Charlie nodded, still staring at me, and I stepped forward, out from Carlisle's arm, and hugged him, this time a little less gently. He rubbed my back, his lips against my head.

"I can't believe this." He whispered, shaking his head. "You're okay…I was so sure…"

"I know. You had to be…everyone did." I told him quietly. I felt my family moving back, letting me have a moment with my other father, although they were close enough to intervene if I asked them to. But even though Charlie's scent made my throat burn, I still knew that he was my father…that he was too precious to me to kill. "I love you, Dad. So much. You'll come visit, won't you?" He nodded, touching my face in an uncharacteristically gentle, loving way.

"Of course I will. As long as I get to first class." I smiled with him as he joked, but honestly, if I knew my family, he most likely wasn't far off. Actually, they'd probably send him a private jet. I didn't doubt they owned one.

"I just…Sue…I mean, I know I never…I didn't get a chance to tell you…"

I laughed, knowing that Sue, along with all of the parents of the werewolf children, knew about us. Carlisle spoke up then, stepping back up to my side. "Bring Sue along if you want. And Seth and Leah, if they would like to come. There's plenty of room." He invited. I knew my new parents would love to see them again. Esme was already hoping to adopt Seth into her brood, and I was sure that Carlisle was hoping to win Leah over. "We'd love to have all of you. Maybe in a couple of weeks?" Charlie nodded, still touching my arm as if he believed I would disappear.

"You're okay." He confirmed quietly, and I nodded, smiling.

"I'm great. Really."

"And, uh…you're not going to disappear on me? You're going to keep in touch."

"I promise. I'll call you as soon as the plane lands…well, as soon as it's daytime here." He shook his head.

"As soon as the plane lands." He pleaded, taking my hand, and I could understand his desire to touch me, to know for a fact that I was real. It reminded me of the time after Italy…when I'd thought Edward was dead…when I'd needed to touch him, and then after my change, when Edward had been just as desperate to touch me all the time. Although it was getting better, he was still like that. So I took my father's hand, rubbing my thumb over the back, and felt Jasper infuse the room with calm from outside.

"As soon as the plane lands." I agreed, hugging him one last time and kissing his cheek. I knew this must feel surreal to him, but I couldn't wait for him to visit…to be able to see my father and interact with him and assure him that I was okay. Our relationship, before the accident, had been better than ever, and I was hoping we could continue to grow closer. "I love you Dad…so much."

"I love you too Bells." He squeezed me back, then pulled away, watching as I stood fluidly, and standing with me. His heart was still pumping too quickly, and I could smell adrenaline and other chemicals pouring through his blood, so I stepped back, letting Carlisle move in front of me to shake my grateful father's hand. I wanted to leave the room….let Carlisle say our goodbyes so that I could get outside.

"I'll see you soon, Dad." I told him with a smile, and he smiled at me, his eyes confused as I hurried out the door, and hoped desperately that Carlisle and Esme would make some excuse for me. I wanted to see him…to spend more time with him. But it hurt. Every second…it became more and more painful. Edward had his arms around me on the porch, his lips against my forehead.

"You did so well." He murmured, kissing me once more. "Bella, you were incredible." He pulled away, cupping my face in his hands.

"Good job Bella." I turned to find Jasper leaning against the rail, Emmett sitting beside him. "I've never seen a newborn show that kind of restraint."

"I don't think she really is a newborn. Too tame." Emmett teased with a grin, and I smirked at him.

"I wouldn't antagonize the strongest vampire in the family." Edward advised with a laugh, his arm going around me and pulling me to his side." Emmett snorted, shaking his head.

"Yeah right. I'm terrified."

"I'm stronger than you." I informed him with a grin, crossing my arms, and he leaned forward, his eyes full of anticipation, but Jasper held out an arm, and Edward squeezed my shoulders when I tensed, my muscles ready to play.

"Maybe we shouldn't test that here." Jasper suggested, elbowing Emmett when he rolled his eyes. "We all have plenty of time to play. For now…" He glanced over at the door where we could all hear Carlisle saying goodbye to Charlie. "For now, we have one more human to talk to." I nodded, waving goodbye to Charlie through the door, then climbing into the car when Edward held my door open. Charlie watched as we pulled out of the driveway.

I hadn't been expecting a private jet, and I couldn't believe I hadn't seen it coming. Carlisle had explained that he didn't want me to be uncomfortable for such a long flight, and he didn't want to chance having me on a plane full of people just yet, so we rode in a plane that had only one human…a pilot who spoke French and just enough English to speak to air traffic control and the other pilots apparently. There were no flight attendants or other humans…just him, in the front. And I was deliriously grateful. After spending just a few minutes with two humans, my throat was reminding me that hunting soon would be necessary.

The entire plane had only about ten seats, all in groups of two, but was spacious with a bar at the back, and a few luxury recliners and sofas. There was even a large TV with a video game system set up and ready for Emmett and Jasper to play. They invited me to join them, holding up a third controller, but I passed with a smile, stepping away from where they were all gathered in the back and moving to a seat in the middle, staring out the window. Carlie, who was flying with us, of course, was in a luxury crate by the rest of them, sound asleep, and I smiled back at her for a moment, wondering how she'd like England. She was getting bigger every day, her body filing out, her frame catching up to her paws, just as Jasper had predicted.

I stared out the window into the dark, my sharp eyesight allowing me to see all the way to the ground, every house we passed over, every human who was outside at night, were as clear enough to make out, although my eyesight did have its limits. Once we were higher, they were a little more difficult to make out…still, it was incredible to watch as we passed over it all.

No one sat with me, and I was glad that my family had learned when I needed to be alone for a few minutes. I thought about Angela as I stared down at the countryside, smiling a little at the memory. My friend had opened the door, alone in the living room, as Alice had predicted. Her parents had long since gone to bed, and her baby brothers were asleep as well. Alice had greeted her, asking her to join her outside to talk, and they had spoken quietly for a moment while I'd leaned against Edward, Jasper's hand on my back as he infused me with comfort and calm. I would be fine, I kept telling myself. My throat was killing me, but I would be fine. Edward assured me that we could come back and talk to her, that this could wait, but I shook my head. I'd already spoken to my father. I could speak to my best friend.

Alice had beckoned me forward, and Angela had stood as still as a human could for a long time, her eyes wide as she'd tried to process everything, and then had begun to sob, throwing her arms around me and crying into my shoulder to a long time, my hands on her back as I assured her again and again that I was okay, that I couldn't explain…that I needed to leave but that I'd keep in contact. Her hot tears had soaked into my shirt, the liquid scalding on my shoulder, but I'd kept my arms around her. Finally, I'd felt Jasper's gentle calm stealing over us, wrapping us both in comfort, and her sobs had slowed until she'd just stared at me. "You're really cold." She's managed to sob, and I'd smiled sheepishly.

"Yeah I know."

"You can't explain, can you?" I shook my head, laughing a bit.

"Not really."

"I'm so glad you're okay." I'd pulled her close once more, squeezing her gently, then placing my hands on her shoulders.

"I'm okay…and I'll keep in contact. I promise. You just…can't tell anyone."

"I swear…I won't." She promised, her voice fervent.

"I know." I'd assured her, taking her hand. "You were my best friend, Angela…if it hadn't been for you…"

"I'm still your best friend." She'd scolded, a smile still creeping over her face. "Will you come visit me sometime?"

"Of course." I'd ignored the painful burning in my throat one last time, throwing my arms around her and knowing that out of everyone from my human life, I would miss her the most. I knew that my father would always love me, but surely Angela would move on…still, I would be able to visit her, and hopefully we'd keep in contact. I would ask Alice, I'd told myself as I'd stepped away from my friend, promising to email her as I followed Edward back to the car, my control close to its end. Alice had spoken to her quietly for a moment, handing her something as Edward had closed my car door, and we'd driven off in the dark, leaving my best friend and sister chatting softly in the dim light coming from her living room windows.

"Lonely?" I grinned at my brother, glancing over at the blonde as he leaned against the seat beside me. Chuckling, he dropped into the seat, throwing an arm around me and pulling me close. Leaning against his shoulder, I sighed softly, still staring out the window. "Don't worry Bella. Everything's going to be fine."

"I know." I smiled, squeezing the hand that was on my shoulder, and closing my eyes. It would be difficult to bring Charlie into this secret. It would be hard on Angela as well, and I couldn't help but wonder if I'd done a selfish thing….bringing her into this world. But I knew that whatever happened, I would always have my family, and that this was the best fairytale ending I could have ever hoped for.


	47. Epilogue: Carlie

Mommy smells weird, I thought from her lap as I rested my head on Daddy's hard leg. She was like all of the hard, cold family now. At first she'd smelled normal, like all of the other humans I'd met, and she'd been warm and soft, and she fell down a lot, but I figured she was still little like me and had to get used to walking around. I sometimes tripped too when I was a puppy, but I was grown up now. I didn't understand why, but she was hard and cold now. At first, after her car had gone down the hill and she'd screamed and then stopped moving, I'd been worried. Her daddy had come and got us then, and Daddy had carried me home. Daddy had locked me in the room where we slept while the tall, really nice one that was her Daddy took her into the other room, and I was scared! I wanted Mommy, and she was hurt and crying and I could tell that she needed me, but no one would let me out, so I'd barked and barked and scratched at the door, crying and begging. Mommy needed me! And then the big one had come in and grabbed me, carrying me into the room with her. Out of all of them, he was the only bad one, like my brother back before I left my other family. He'd pulled my tail all the time, biting my ears until it hurt and laying on top of my head…that was how Mommy's brother treated her, and I kept telling him to stop, but he never listened. He just laughed at me! So I did what I did with my brother…I bit him. That would teach him to mess with Mommy…even if he did taste like rocks and never seemed to mind my teeth.

I didn't mind that Mommy smelled funny. She was still mine, just like the rest of them, but especially her and the one that took care of her and played with me. He was the most fun to be with. When I was playing with him, I always felt great…happy and excited…he loved playing with me. But when he was sad, like when Mommy had been crying and yelling as her scent had changed, and she'd gotten so cold…I'd felt that too. I'd been torn between leaving the room and snuggling up to him. In the end I'd stayed with Mommy…I was supposed to stay by her side. I'd known from the time she'd met me that she was mine, and I had to take care of her. The big one had brought me downstairs when she'd started to wake up, and I hadn't seen her for a while, but when she'd come down with Daddy, she'd looked fine…happy and normal, but different…like the others. When she'd knelt down to hug me and I'd kissed her, she tasted different, and her scent was too sweet and scary. For a second, I'd been scared, like when I'd first met Daddy. But she'd talked to me and petted me and I'd known that everything was okay now.

Earlier today we all rode in that weird, giant car, and then another car, and then they took me to a new house full of old smells, and everything was changing so much and I didn't like it…I crawled under the bed and hid at first, like a puppy. I'm not a puppy anymore though…I was just scared. But Mommy came upstairs by herself after a while and laid on the ground beside the bed, her hand reaching out to me, and she talked to me for a long time, using the word she always used when she talked to me. I didn't know what it meant, but she'd been saying it since I first adopted her, so I humored her, coming whenever she said it. It wasn't her fault she didn't know how to talk. Mommy and the others talked funny, like all humans, and even though they growled sometimes, or snarled or showed their teeth like normal, they usually spoke like humans. They didn't have any tails to wag or anything…so I guessed that's how they said they were happy. That's what it seemed like to me anyway. She talked really quiet and nice to me, and I finally came out, crawling over to her. She may have been cold and hard, but she was still Mommy, and I had to be brave and protect her...from her lap. She held me for a while, letting me kiss her and tell her how much I loved her. I didn't think she could understand...it took a lot of effort to tell humans things...they weren't any good at talking the right way. But she hugged me and petted me and put her face against me, so I guessed that meant she loved me too.

Later she carried me downstairs, even though I'm big now and can walk down the stairs myself. They were all been waiting downstairs and the nice one, her brother that I liked to play with, came over and petted me, talking nicely like she had, and then she took me outside. I had loved outside at our other house, but this outside was so much bigger! There was so much grass and trees and little bugs and birds and everything! And so many smells! I'd never smelled so many new things, and Mommy and Daddy sat on the ground right beside each other, talking while I sniffed every bit of the grass and flowers and trees close to them. I didn't go too far away just in case they needed me...it wasn't because I was afraid of the dark place in the trees and the strange smells there. My Mommy and Daddy needed protecting, and I didn't want to lose them. They were really fast, Mommy too now, and I wouldn't be able to help if they got away.

After I sniffed the grass for a while, tracking a rabbit to the very edge of the trees and stopping there, I ran back to her, starting to get sleepy. I'm not a puppy anymore, but I still want to nap sometimes. I don't need to. I want to. I'm a big dog now. I can do whatever I want, I thought from Mommy's lap as my eyes closed. Daddy was scratching me behind the ears…I loved it when he did that. He and Mommy put their faces together for a while and he put his arms around her. I didn't know why they did that all the time. Maybe it was how they talked without saying anything. He held her close like she held me for a long time, and I knew that even though I was there to protect Mommy, he would protect her too, so I could sleep if I wanted to. The rest of her family came outside then. They had been pulling familiar smelling things out of boxes and setting them around the big room downstairs, and I knew that I'd have time to smell all of that later. For now, the sun was disappearing and it was getting dark. Mommy didn't sleep with me in the bed anymore, but she would still stay close to me when I slept. I liked it best when she held me. That way, if anything happened, I'd be close enough to protect her.

The big one sat down with his mate, and Mommy's mommy and daddy sat with us on the wet grass. Her daddy reached out and put a hand on my back, and she leaned against him, saying something in human again. The one I liked to play with and the littlest one sat together too, and they all talked and talked. I wondered why they needed to make so much noise as I dozed off, my tail thumping up and down lazily until I was chasing rabbits in my dreams, always aware of the cold, comfortable arms that held me. Hopefully I'd find some real rabbits here at our new home soon.


End file.
